Dumbing of Age Book Fourteen

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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October 20, 2026

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here comes carla again, spoiling secrets to advance the plot
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‹‹ First ‹ Prev Comments(107) Random Next › Last ››

Pawin’

Posted In: comic
└ Tags: carla, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (107) ¬

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  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 5, 2019 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    OH SHIT IT’S CANON

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 5, 2019 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

      Last modified 5/9/2014?!

      Willis, your buffer is truly impressive.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 5, 2019 at 12:46 am | # | Reply

        Maybe, but I suspect someone of messing with the time stream.

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 12:49 am | # | Reply

      And now I will be disappointed if that is not the next panel.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 5, 2019 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

        Though honestly, Malaya’s brain exploding would work too.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        July 5, 2019 at 4:03 am | # | Reply

        Well, it won’t be exactly that, as the clothes are wrong. But I take your point.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          July 5, 2019 at 7:41 pm | # | Reply

          next comic: “Wait, wait, we gotta change… for… foreplay reasons…”

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 5, 2019 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    I’m pretty sure that if a scientist could somehow scoop up the DoA comment section in a bucket, pour it out onto a slab, and then splash it with the Elixir of Life, it would arise, declare “I AM CARLA” and then warp into the reality of the comic strip and take up residence.

    • Felix
      Felix
      July 5, 2019 at 5:06 am | # | Reply

      You mean it didn’t already?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 5, 2019 at 6:41 am | # | Reply

      It’s only science if it’s repeatable.

  3. butts
    butts
    July 5, 2019 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    now keess

  4. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 5, 2019 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    “Totally?”

    “Somewhat…actually.”

    “Get back to me when it’s totally.”

  5. FLUFFYWOLF
    FLUFFYWOLF
    July 5, 2019 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    I hope it ends with Malaya getting punched!

    • Jago
      Jago
      July 5, 2019 at 2:44 am | # | Reply

      I don’t see how, but I kinda want that, too, albeit be it verbally. Actual punching is reserved for people who are more of a jerk. She’s

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 5, 2019 at 6:42 am | # | Reply

      By someone other than Sal. Because Sal would definitely hate herself for doing that, even if she really really wanted to do it.

      • anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        July 5, 2019 at 9:03 am | # | Reply

        Paging Dr Mike.
        Paging Dr Mike.
        Emergency pugnus faciem suspendisse required stat.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      July 5, 2019 at 12:18 pm | # | Reply

      Everyone who has picked a fight with Malaya has been hit back by Malaya.. She’s not the type to just take it and let it go.

  6. Some1
    Some1
    July 5, 2019 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    On one hand Malaya is incredibly dense, on the other hand Malaya is incredibly dense.

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      July 5, 2019 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      I thought the term was “thicc”?

      • EvilMidnightLurker
        EvilMidnightLurker
        July 5, 2019 at 1:38 am | # | Reply

        Not until her mid-twenties.

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      July 5, 2019 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      Neutron Star Alloy, that’s what little Malayas are made of.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        July 5, 2019 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

        Neutronium, it’s called neutronium.

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          July 5, 2019 at 8:56 am | # | Reply

          Well, Neutronium is a hypothetical substance composed entirely of neutrons [or, alternatively, a substance derived from the core of a neutron star]. Meanwhile, something is only referred to as an alloy when the material is composed of two or more metallic elements.

          Basic neutron matter is classified as a noble gas, meaning that neutronium theoretically would share a similar classification. Alternatively, by some proposals, Neutronium would actually be a fluid. Regardless, Neutronium isn’t a substance associated with being a metal, much less a compound of multiple metal elements.

          Therefore we can determine that Neutron Star Alloy would likely either be composed of some combination of metallic materials found within neutron star, or would be a combination of neutronium with multiple metallic elements.

          In short, there’s no intuitive reason why Neutron Star Alloy would be required to have any direct connection to Neutronium, and such a label would also indicate aspects that are not inherent to Neutronium, further giving the terms cause to not be used interchangably with one another.

          Put another way, Malaya is too anti-trend to just be content with being a vaguely defined, controversial, fictional element. No, she has to be a tangentially related compound substance that is even more unclear and complex and unrealistic in nature.

          Classic Malaya.

          Not to mention her refusing even to adhere to any of the accepted physical forms of the original label. No, her body is just too unique to accept such mundane forms. Besides, a metal body just has such better results when stepping on someone than a fluid or gaseous body, amirite?

          Clearly that’s what this was all about. 😛

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          July 5, 2019 at 9:07 am | # | Reply

          (I mean, Neutronium is a more intuitive association to the initial topic of “dense”, of course. I just have a weird sense of humor. :P)

          • Bryan Langley
            Bryan Langley
            July 6, 2019 at 8:39 pm | # | Reply

            In short… 😀

            • HeySo
              HeySo
              July 8, 2019 at 9:40 am | # | Reply

              ~.^

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      July 5, 2019 at 2:03 am | # | Reply

      I think this old bird says it best, starting about half way through…
      https://youtu.be/ow8fWb66XnE

  7. Whatevsman
    Whatevsman
    July 5, 2019 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Heaven bless you, Carla

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      July 5, 2019 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      She is an engineer, she solves problems with that big brain of hers.

      • Dark
        Dark
        July 5, 2019 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

        That’s more smashing the problem with a big stick.

        Which admittedly is also a very engineer thing to do.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          July 5, 2019 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

          And if that doesn’t work, use more stick.

        • James
          James
          July 5, 2019 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

          Engineers are trained to come up with solutions that WORK, not solutions that are subtle or elegant.

          • Lensipensi
            Lensipensi
            July 5, 2019 at 1:53 am | # | Reply

            For subtle and elegant solutions you’ve got designers. Thought it doesn’t necessarily work.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            July 5, 2019 at 6:44 am | # | Reply

            What if subtlety and stealth are required features of the solution space?

            • w00t
              w00t
              July 5, 2019 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

              Then you need designers and engineers to cooperate. Probably not worth the effort.

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          July 5, 2019 at 6:25 am | # | Reply

          You could say that the first human to come up with the idea of smashing things with a big stick was also the first engineer.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            July 5, 2019 at 6:46 am | # | Reply

            …. nonono, you need to be able to work out the MATH of smashing things with a big stick before you count as an engineer.

            • anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
              anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
              July 5, 2019 at 9:07 am | # | Reply

              As my prof described it – Engineering is math but louder.

              • Roborat
                Roborat
                July 5, 2019 at 2:30 pm | # | Reply

                I have a t-shirt that says that.

      • HeatherJean
        HeatherJean
        July 5, 2019 at 2:52 am | # | Reply

        For free. Or for cookies. Preferably cookies.

  8. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 5, 2019 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    I mean, yeah, if Malaya thinks you WANT attention, you won’t get it.

    And ohhhhh this just gets funnier as it goes.

  9. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 5, 2019 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    I like how Sal and Marcie went from holding hands to arm around shoulder. If not for Carla, I shudder to think what they’d do to get it into Malaya’s head.

  10. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 5, 2019 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    Next duel we need: Carla versus Becky, the protocol being shouting uncomfortable truths to the world.

    • Zero
      Zero
      July 5, 2019 at 1:56 am | # | Reply

      This is an uncomfortable lie, though.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        July 5, 2019 at 6:47 am | # | Reply

        Depends how enthusiastic Carla’s headcanon is.

  11. Tacos
    Tacos
    July 5, 2019 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Carla: The Plot Advancer-er

    • Kyoulkoa
      Kyoulkoa
      July 5, 2019 at 12:33 am | # | Reply

      Mind Seed
      Telepathy (Compulsion) [ Mind-Affecting]
      Level: Technopath 8
      Display: Mental
      Manifesting Time: 1 standard action
      Range: within ear shot
      Target: One Medium or smaller humanoid
      Duration: Instantaneous
      Saving Throw: Will negates
      You call attention to some plot, ending the current predicament

  12. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 5, 2019 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    No plan survives first contact with Carla.

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

      Carla is helping.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        July 5, 2019 at 5:52 am | # | Reply

        Yep. She is advancing the plan more unsubtly than Sal and Marcie initially planned, but their mistake was trying subtlety in the first place.

  13. Piotr W
    Piotr W
    July 5, 2019 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

    You see, Sal? Having Carla around is actually useful!

    BTW. Sal and Marcie’s faces in panel 4 :))))

  14. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    July 5, 2019 at 12:25 am | # | Reply

    Look everybody, Carla’s “helping”

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

      It’s super effective.

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        July 5, 2019 at 9:01 am | # | Reply

        ..every time I try to catch a pokemon I get a sickly Fearow or a stoned DigDug. I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved that I have yet to catch a Carla. Well, her or a talking Pikachu; I hear those are “in”.

  15. Stu
    Stu
    July 5, 2019 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

    “BoJack helping?”

    • HeySo
      HeySo
      July 5, 2019 at 9:02 am | # | Reply

      Is a BoJack like a Candlejack?
      ..oh, wait. Oh, no. Oh, shi-

      • Stu
        Stu
        July 5, 2019 at 7:57 pm | # | Reply

        I was referencing this clip – https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e3bb0e50-c09d-41d8-9861-fecf25563ce7

      • TheKelliestKelly
        TheKelliestKelly
        July 5, 2019 at 10:22 pm | # | Reply

        Hey, what happened to your comment? You started talking about Candlejack and then you-

  16. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    July 5, 2019 at 12:27 am | # | Reply

    I’m not sure if Carla said that in order to help or if she just wants to watch Marcie and Sal make out. Honestly either one is fine with me at this point, Carla is a delight.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      July 5, 2019 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

      Dunno, I always thought Carla’s distaste for the thought of spit-swapping extended to watching other people swap spit too.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 5, 2019 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

        No, she just loves a good train wreck.

        • Rabid Rabbit
          Rabid Rabbit
          July 5, 2019 at 4:04 am | # | Reply

          Good point. And as an engineer, she’s great at arranging them.

          • HeySo
            HeySo
            July 5, 2019 at 9:05 am | # | Reply

            She’s a supervillain specializing in arranging train wrecks?

            ..so she’s Ms. Glass, then?
            Okay, a bald-headed jock-type as her opposing entity, right?
            So Jacob? Or would her counterpart be gender-swapped as well?

            I just hope the rest of DoA doesn’t go full Shyamalan.
            You never want to go full Shyamalan.

  17. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    July 5, 2019 at 12:33 am | # | Reply

    Panel 2: Well, that’s an advance on Sal’s original “Hell no, ah ain’t fuckin’ yah” position. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/fuck/

  18. Dean
    Dean
    July 5, 2019 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

    Did any other $1 Patreon backers get this strip emailed to them yesterday? Those hospital painkillers Willis is on must be pretty good stuff.

  19. Mra
    Mra
    July 5, 2019 at 12:46 am | # | Reply

    Why is Marcie so focused on Malaya, she doesn’t seem like she would be a very attentive partner, or seems to like long term relationships. Is Marcie just looking for a onenightstand?

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

      The harmones want what the harmones want.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      July 5, 2019 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

      Marcie thinks Malaya’s hot as hell, and enjoys her company. If that’s solely because she’s hot, it’s hard to say. She does sometimes seem a bit irritated with her, but that’s rare. Usually seems to like being around her.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      July 5, 2019 at 1:23 am | # | Reply

      On one hand. Marcies digs Malaya’s arse, and cannot lie. On the other hand Malaya is making the effort to learn Ameslan so as to be about to converse with Marcie, and not a lot of other people have done that.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        July 5, 2019 at 6:20 pm | # | Reply

        this is a very good point. Good on Malaya for that.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 5, 2019 at 2:20 am | # | Reply

      90% of my taste in women is people who are completely incompatible with me from a personality standpoint.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 5, 2019 at 2:24 am | # | Reply

      Desire and infatuation have very little to do with logic or perceptible reality. Hopefully, Marcie is going to make sufficiently an ass of herself in the face of Carla’s provocation that it will cure Marcie quite nicely.

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      July 5, 2019 at 3:13 am | # | Reply

      The heart wants what it wants (or the hormones). And there’s a BIG difference between being in love and being in lust (and you know what? you usually figure which one you’re exiting rather than on entry).

      Quietly requests Do-Re-Mi’s be cued up on the hacked musak.

      • DaveM
        DaveM
        July 5, 2019 at 3:14 am | # | Reply

        Ok, Mucked up the HTML, but the link for “Man Overboard” works at least!

  20. Tan
    Tan
    July 5, 2019 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

    So if, for example, it was really important to Marcie that you step on Malaya’s neck in these high-heel boots in front of me, nice and slowly, you’d do that, right? …For Marcie?

  21. Jade
    Jade
    July 5, 2019 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

    *slow claps* You are doing God’s work, Carla.

  22. Randrius
    Randrius
    July 5, 2019 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

    I AM HELPING!!!

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 1:04 am | # | Reply

      Problem solved, thereby owning them by showing her superiority.

  23. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    July 5, 2019 at 1:03 am | # | Reply

    Pfft, Carla really is going for the nuclear option, huh.

    On one hand, she’s doing it to troll Sal, but on the other, she might be on the right track to make sure Malaya bites.

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 5, 2019 at 1:07 am | # | Reply

      The right tool for the right job. Sometimes a baseball bat is the right tool.

      • Maul_Junior
        Maul_Junior
        July 5, 2019 at 3:58 am | # | Reply

        Baseball bat? This is a steamroller at least.

        • Sunny
          Sunny
          July 5, 2019 at 5:55 am | # | Reply

          Very good tool for roadbuilding.

  24. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    July 5, 2019 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

    Carla’s tellin’ a fib that could be debunked by a 108° turn. That makes her the most morally corrupt character in the strip, right? We all have to dogpile and condemn her, now?

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      July 5, 2019 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

      Yeah, step on Carla!

  25. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 5, 2019 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    HOLY SHIT SHE’S FINGERING HER AS WE SPEAK. SHE’S GOING DOWN. GOOD GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING. RIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA. I GUESS PUSSY WAS ON THE MENU, AMIRIGHT MALAYA!?

  26. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    July 5, 2019 at 1:34 am | # | Reply

    Malaya is a terrible judge of character. She thinks Sal is an attention bongo while the narcisist and attention monster Carla hangs out with her almost on a daily basis. I think Malaya just hates Sal for irrational reasons, like many bullies.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 5, 2019 at 1:42 am | # | Reply

      Malaya probably thinks Carla’s an attention whore too but Carla is very open about it and is actively obnoxious, so if Malaya was gonna have a problem with her she’d have already had it.

    • Shane Wegner
      Shane Wegner
      July 5, 2019 at 9:49 am | # | Reply

      It might be naiveté. Like she sees Sal’s tough persona and thinks it must be fake. But Sal tries to commit a crime to help her friend who got a raw deal, got stabbed in the hand, and then got sent away from her family maybe to some kind of discipline school for girls. It might be Malaya just imagine any of that, or maybe her own background is so rough she sees that as lightweight stuff. I don’t know any particular adversity in Malaya’s background. If she’s assuming Sal had a bland, ordinary suburban upbringing and is fronting everything else, she’s wrong.

      The pretend to like Marcie plan is still a dingus goofus plan though, which sort of ironically proves Malaya right on the character front- if she detects any of it.

  27. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    July 5, 2019 at 1:42 am | # | Reply

    What could possibly go right?

  28. Keulen
    Keulen
    July 5, 2019 at 1:53 am | # | Reply

    Sometimes Carla’s help is the best help.

  29. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 5, 2019 at 2:04 am | # | Reply

    Carla’s point is that Malaya is incapable of perceiving anything that she does not want to perceive and, probably, even perceives it through a thick filter of her own delusion of reality.

    Meanwhile, based on panel 5, poor Marcie would be giggling madly by now if it weren’t for the damage to her voice box. It is an incredibly humorous situation to be in!

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      July 5, 2019 at 3:06 am | # | Reply

      It’s on her shirt, literally

  30. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    July 5, 2019 at 3:05 am | # | Reply

    “I’m helping !”

  31. He Who Abides
    He Who Abides
    July 5, 2019 at 4:44 am | # | Reply

    I’d say Carla should be a bit more subtle about this, but this is subtle.for her, isn’t it?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 5, 2019 at 5:38 am | # | Reply

      She thinks it’s funny and she wants to see Malaya suffer a little (ideally, self-inflicted suffering). So, she’s pushing things ahead as quickly as she can.

  32. Alanari
    Alanari
    July 5, 2019 at 5:33 am | # | Reply

    .. This could actually work. Or backfire horribly. Can’t wait to find out.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 5, 2019 at 5:40 am | # | Reply

      I suspect that it will be both. It makes Malaya jealous and leaves Sal and Marcie with mixed feelings about whether they want it to stay just as a scam.

  33. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 5, 2019 at 7:26 am | # | Reply

    Possible Unintended Consequence: Malaya grabs Sal and starts making out with her. Thus we see that this entire thing had basically been Malaya attempting the Calvin and Hobbes Seduction Method (metaphorically pulling Sal’s hair so she’ll pay attention to her).

    • 1958fury
      1958fury
      July 5, 2019 at 9:09 am | # | Reply

      That was my first thought as well.

  34. JBento
    JBento
    July 5, 2019 at 7:37 am | # | Reply

    ANYTHING to make this arc move forward faster.

  35. kilgaen
    kilgaen
    July 5, 2019 at 8:25 am | # | Reply

    Sal: . . . We`ll see.
    Carla: Yes, we will.

  36. Ziggy78eog
    Ziggy78eog
    July 5, 2019 at 9:48 am | # | Reply

    I swear, these Slipshine strips just write themselves.

  37. James Starkey
    James Starkey
    July 5, 2019 at 11:54 am | # | Reply

    Ah, there it is. The fuckening.

  38. Lulu88
    Lulu88
    July 5, 2019 at 1:02 pm | # | Reply

    It will turn out Malaya will want to start making out with Sal than with Marcie.
    Plan will backfire.

  39. Fire_daws
    Fire_daws
    July 5, 2019 at 2:04 pm | # | Reply

    NOW PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

  40. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    July 5, 2019 at 2:48 pm | # | Reply

    what if this is just an elaborate plan to get malaya all to carlas awesome self

    naah, not enough insane contraptions, its just a fanfic trope

  41. Jhon
    Jhon
    July 5, 2019 at 7:25 pm | # | Reply

    Two big grins.
    New gravatar in
    -3
    -2
    -1

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