284

Pawing
Posted on November 28, 2016 by David M Willis
doabook5frontcoveredited666Dumbing of Age Book 5 is now available in the online store!  I GUESS holiday shopping season has officially started as of today, so have at it!  You can buy it normal and plain, or upgrade to a signed/sketched version. Just new TODAY are some five-book combo packs of both Dumbing of Age and Shortpacked! books. magnetset1Also new to the store is a set of 8 character magnets left over from the Book 4 Kickstarter.  It's missing the ninth magnet, Joyce, because I'm kinda out of her Book 4 magnet, but for now there are eight magnets left you can get as a set. poster-tothosewhogroundme400Also also new in the store is the "To Those Who Ground Me" 11"x17" poster!  It's new to the store because I forgot to put it in the store last spring when it was actually new.  But it's pretty!

284 thoughts on “Pawing”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Sydney’s definitely a Galasso-in-Training

    FOOLS!

    1. inqntrol

      Much better than trying to overthrow him.

    2. JetstreamGW

      Wait, what? That’s Sydney? Is it a different Sydney? o.O

      1. John

        She just got a different haircut.

        1. JetstreamGW

          Is that all? I thought she was shorter and had darker skin.

        2. Fart Captor

          Becky and Dina are both kinda short themselves, and currently seated. Skin tone looks the same, too

        3. JetstreamGW

          Huh. Well, it’s been a while since I went archive diving. Dunno why I was that thrown.

        4. Arianod

          She does look kinda different, but that’s just style evolution I guess.

        5. Geneseepaws

          What? what? No, artists don’t have styles that evolve. No. Just look at Schultz, or Batiuk, or Addams, … Oh, … Never mind. I’ll shut up now.

        6. Needfuldoer

          Her hair reversed polarity!

        7. Dark

          Huh.

          Anyone else wonder where Ninja Steve went?

        8. Arianod

          Right behind you!

        9. Ana Chronistic

          he went to “based on a real person other than Ronald Reagan and so will not appear in DoA” purgatory

        10. Adept Arcanist

          Wasn’t Joe also based on someone though?

        11. Dark

          So does that mean Ronald Reagan might be appearing in DoA?

        12. David M Willis

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/fraud/

        13. Dark

          Hey, good enough for me.

        14. John

          *checks Shortpacked!*

          Nah, looks like the same skin tone, though I admit I just eyeballed it, not eyedroppered it. Height is a little tricky to judge, because we’ve only seen her with sitting people here, and she tends to inspire weird Dutch angles and such, but she appears to be a little shorter than Malaya. I’m not sure how that should compare to sitting Dina and Becky.

        15. John

          Well, dramatic close-ups more than Dutch angles.

        16. Jason

          The new hairstyle adds a couple inches.

    3. MatthewTheLucky

      Fool! Yus needs no training! Galasso will soon be destroyed!

    4. DinaWho

      Eh, still more of an asshole than this ‘verse’s Galasso, methinks.

    5. tim gueguen

      She may end up being the fool if Galasso considers her a threat to his awesome plans for world conquest. Or his sub recipes.

      1. SeanC

        I love it when the avatar fits.

    6. Deanatay

      Dunno, Galazzo seems to go more for dominating others through superior food and service, rather than by directly thwarting his customers’ desires, as Yus is doing.

      Heh, heh… thwarting.

  2. Spencer

    TIL David Willis watches Steven Universe.

    1. Pablo360

      Once again, this comic is really happy and bubbly until you read the alt-text. It’s like the Pokedex of DOA.

      1. Zach

        Honestly, I don’t see the quote’s relevance to the strip

        1. Arianod

          Read Sydney’s lines again ;3

        2. Zach

          So he made me sad for no reason?

        3. Arianod

          It was just a quote.

        4. Khyrin

          To explain to anyone unversed in Steven Universe… one of the Gems has a solo song about Steven’s mom choosing Steven’s dad over her titled It’s Over, Isn’t it?, repeating the title in the chorus several times, and the Alt-text is the last part of the song, save for the ending line “Why can’t I move on….”

        5. Mollyscribbles

          I think my confusion is that I’m comparing it too much to Steven Universe. I mean, within THAT context, Dina and Becky ‘won’ because they’re all couple-y and such.

          Also confused because I’m unclear about what they’re supposed to have lost but it might be that I have the attention span of a gnat.

        6. Lan

          I think it’s the mystery of why they got a veggie pizza. Sydney “won” by swapping their order.

        7. Mollyscribbles

          And because they aren’t being given their order, they have just cause to not pay (or leave a tip) which means Sydney will “win” the cost of the pizza being taken out of her pay.

      2. GreyDefender

        FINALLY! Someone compared it to the Pokedex. I didn’t want to be the first one.

        1. Ana Chronistic

          for reals, the Pokédex is fucked up

    2. David M Willis

      Honestly I’ve never watched an episode, but as Joyce once said, “I’ve seen the Internet.”

      1. Pablo360

        You should check it out. There’s a sassy grandma who lives in a pizza place and helps fight a giant blowfish. Also something about beautiful color palettes, engaging storylines, dynamic characterization, and revolutionary queer representation.

        1. David M Willis

          You don’t…. you don’t have to sell it to me. I told you, I’ve Seen The Internet.

        2. Reltzik

          When you were seeing The Internet, was it serious, or was it a casual, open relationship? Because I hear The Internet gets around.

        3. Mollyscribbles

          Everyone knows the Internet’s in an open relationship with like half the planet. Hard to think it’s exclusive, even if it’s serious (but the Internet loves us back, mostly).

        4. DSL

          It’s a codependency based on lies, denial and confirmation bias (which is a fancy phrase that covers “lies” and “denial”). Not a healthy relationship at all.

        5. Makkabee

          Relationships with the Internet don’t usually last too long. Too easy to get BAUD.

          #showingmyage

        6. Mollyscribbles

          I never said it was healthy, just that it’s not trying to hide that it’s in an open relationship.

        7. Khno

          Oh no, no, in the newspaper comment sections, I feel that the Internet hates us a lot….

        8. Bicycle Bill

          And between this comic and Slipshine, you have mastered The Internet.

        9. jimmy joey

          what if i call you a poser until you watch it

        10. Mollyscribbles

          okay to put it in other terms: It’s a show you can watch with your kids without it making them want to play with your toys.

        11. Captain_CloudWolf

          I agree with all of this. Also I love the show and it is beautiful. It is a wonderful show.

      2. Spencer

        It’s about lesbian space rocks fighting a galactic empire by banging each other to make DBZ fusions so I’d recommend it to anyone tbh.

        Also it is your fault for getting me hooked onto this dumb robot crap and now I’m stuck reading Windblade. Thanks.

        1. Killjoy

          I’d highly recommend it. Underneath the silly veneer is vast depth of complicated characters, fun action, and a very adult commentary on relationships.

  3. AnvilPro

    Damn. This Sydney is way worse than Shortpack’s ever was.

    1. Historyman68

      Seems to be a common theme

  4. wheelpath

    But Bryan Lee O’Malley says winners don’t eat meat?

    1. AGV

      I love his works, but the poor guy might not know what he’s saying

    2. Ana Chronistic

      hey, sometimes losers can get Vegan Powers, just look at Todd Ingram

  5. shadowcell

    FOOLS x 2

    1. Pablo360

      Will Willis attempt the rare (and highly dangerous) FOOLS X5 COMBO?

      1. Reltzik

        That is very foolish of him.

        ……..

        *rimshot*

      2. TheAnonymousGuy

        Mr. Pablo360, if I my inquire? Why is your gravatar a chart of time and space, Why’d you pick that specifically?

    2. Sensei Le Roof

      Is it wrong that I hear that in the voice of Abridged!Marik?

  6. Scar Man!!!

    officially annoying now

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Fool! That is exactly what Sydney wants you to think! That way, when she becomes truly powerful, you underestimate her cunning! Ahh ha ha haa ha ha haaa!

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    Sic her Rex!

  8. Jay Eff

    “Flesh is for winners.”

    Well, give Dina and Becky their goddamn pizza, then.

    1. Joe Archer

      They did ask for meat, not for a striptease, didn’t they?

  9. Scar Man!!!

    although her calling Dina the correct scientific name for velociraptor is awesome

    1. Disloyal Subject

      I concur. It’s especially appropriate when dealing with megalomaniacs like Yus.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Bzzzt.

      Velociraptor is Velociraptor mongoliensis or V. osmolskae. Tsaagan mangas is a different, related species.

      1. Scar Man!!!

        i looked the term up though. it said it’s the current name of the initial specimen that was first identified as velociraptor

        1. 3oranges

          The first Tsaagan specimen was identified as a Velociraptor, but the first Velociraptor specimen is still a V. mongoliensis.

          There’s a set of rules that say names are attached to particular specimens, and older names usually have priority, so you couldn’t rename the first Velociraptor unless you were reclassifying it in an older genus, and in that case the name couldn’t be used for any others.

        2. Kamino Neko

          You’ve misread. Tsaagan was first discovered in 1996, and originally misidentified as a Velociraptor specimen. But Velociraptor mongoliensis was discovered in 1924, 72 years before Tsaagan mangas. T. mangas was then determined to not be that close to V. mongoliensis, and was therefor sorted into its own genus. It didn’t replace Velociraptor, it’s it’s own thing. (New genera supplanting existing ones rarely happens – priority goes to the existing ones except in exceptional cases.)

        3. 3oranges

          Manospondylus gigas 4 eva
          (No, not really)

        4. Kamino Neko

          Don’t forget Scrotum humanum!

  10. MightionNY

    Pizza is a meat delivery system.

    If it goes on a salad, it doesn’t go on a pizza.

    Salad is what food eats. 😀

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It is also a cheese and sauce delivery system.

    2. Shiro

      OBJECTION! Cheese most definitely goes on salad.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        As do pine nuts (key for pesto!) and tomatoes (key for marinara!)
        Chicken breast and spinah leaf are also pretty good on either.

      2. Fart Captor

        As an American, I can confirm that cheese goes on everything

        1. Sensei Le Roof

          I can confirm that cheese even goes on cheese.

    3. Durandal_1707

      Gotta disagree with that. I’m as much a carnivore as the next guy, but veggie pizzas are the best pizzas.

      1. Reltzik

        Mmmmmm, margarita pizza. With raw tomatoes and pesto sauce so juicy that it practically explodes in your mouth.

        I mean seriously, meat is BORING. 95% of the time it’s an ongoing struggle to make the list of three options — chicken, beef, and pork — to seem new and interesting despite hardly ever eating anything else.

        …. and I was saying that even before I became a vegetarian.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          There are thousands of excellent ways to prepare each of those meats, and many more besides – turkey is another mainstay, and mutton, bear, and venison can all be pretty good – but to ignore the deliciousness of things toward the bottom of the food chain is to do one’s taste buds a great disservice.

        2. Silly Name

          Wait, you put raw tomatoes and PESTO on a Margarita??

          Margarita is tomato sauce, mozzarella and basil. o.O

      2. The Other Mike

        I like vegetarian pizza. To paraphrase Harry Dresden, pigs and cows are vegetarians.

        1. MightionNY

          Actually pigs are omnivores.

      3. Falling Star

        Why can’t we compromise?
        Sausage and green pepper. Mmmmmmm.

    4. garbud

      I love me some of that pineapple and ham pizza

      1. Silly Name

        … As an Italian, I am revoking your pizza privileges.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Pizza, like all inventions, should be allowed to evolve according to the needs and wants of the consumers.

          *Impatiently waits for screwdrivers to become sonic.*

        2. DSL

          A Sonic(TM) Screwdriver requires, in addition to the basic vodka and orange juice, an artificial whipped topping whose consistency approaches that of pressurized expanding foam insulation and a maraschino cherry bottled no later than the first Bush Administration. It should be brought to you in your car with a side of tater tots by a teen on skates.

        3. Silly Name

          Sure, but… putting pineapple and ham on a pizza? That MUST be against international law.

          (I’m obviously kidding. Eat your pizza however you like, you sick bastards.)

        4. thejeff

          Hawaiian pizza is awesome. Best pizza ever.

    5. Willoughby Chase

      Quatro Formaggi and Margaritta are tasty.

      Cheese on toast with tomato sauce is the British method of eating pizza.

      1. Silly Name

        *Quattro Formaggi; Margarita

        /ItalianGrammarNazi

  11. Shiro

    Re: alt text: please someone remind me that the comments on Dumbing of Age are a thoroughly unsuitable place to go on about my poly feels about that song.

    On topic, there’s nothing I don’t love about this. Sapphic pawing. Smol dino. Meat. Undercut Syndey. I love.

    1. Madock345

      It’s actually hard for me to think of a more suitable place

  12. Dave Van Domelen

    It’s pizza
    Isn’t it
    Isn’t it
    Isn’t it pizza….

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Why can’t you move on?

    2. Pablo360

      I was fine…
      With the men…
      That Joyce would talk about now and again…

      I was fine…
      ‘Cause I knew…
      We were meant to be together — until you…

  13. Disloyal Subject

    UNLEASH THE RAPTOR

  14. Delicious Taffy

    Is that an entire fucking round slice of tomato on that pizza? Like, a full-size fucking tomato? Who the fuck eats a pizza with a whole fucking section of a full-size motherfucking tomato on it?

    1. DinaWho

      It genuinely confused me at first because I thought they were pepperoni slices and then the comic didn’t make sense.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      That is a thing we do here in Murrica, though Italy sorta beat us to the punch. It’s not one of the most common toppings, but it’s pretty routine to see at a pizzeria.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        I have never seen that happen, even once. Is it a coastal thing, or particular to cities, or what? I’ve never seen a whole, ripe tomato, fresh off the vine, plopped directly onto a pizza, not in the Midwest.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          It’s not like it wasn’t sliced into, well, slices, first.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          That doesn’t make it better, though. Looking at it makes me hungry as fuck, though.

        3. Disloyal Subject

          (Okay, let’s try that again… apparently typing too fast can freeze my browser.)
          Doesn’t it? It’s pretty tasty, albeit not my preference, whereas plopping a whole tomato, however fresh, on a pizza – before or after baking – would be an abomination, barring tiny tomatoes.

        4. dg

          What about sundried tomatoes?

        5. Disloyal Subject

          I knew I was forgetting something. Again not my preference, but still tasty slices of nutrition on pizza.

        6. EvolutionistX

          I just ate a frozen pizza from the grocery store with whole tomato slices on it.

    3. Toad

      https://www.google.com/search?q=tomato+pizza

    4. Durandal_1707

      Me, for one. If the tomato slices are fresh, they are pretty much the best pizza topping ever.

    5. Reltzik

      Tomato slices are good, but wtf, big tomatoes? Really? Those are like the least tasty tomatoes ever. Slice up some grape or cherry tomatoes instead, those have real flavor and pop to them.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        There are some absolutely delicious big and medium ones, so long as you go with heirloom breeds instead of the blobby, watery stuff from a grocery. A lot of cherry tomatoes have just a touch more zing than I prefer.

        1. Dellaran

          This. I never knew I liked tomatoes of any size until I had some homegrown heirlooms.

      2. Dean

        Supermarket tomatoes are bred for durability, so they don’t bruise in transit. Flavour is a distant second consideration.

        1. Durandal_1707

          Which is why tomatoes are one of the most popular plants grown in home vegetable gardens.

    6. a/snow mous/e

      Pizza margherita will usually have full-sized tomato slices on it.
      And yeah, you’re probably talking about grocery store tomatoes. Check out your local farmers’ market 😛

  15. MatsuoTanuki

    *blinks in confusion, then Googles ‘Tsagaan mangas’*

    Good Lord, Becky’s actually been listening…

    1. Fart Captor

      She has been from the very start!

    2. GhostWriterL

      She’s been trained all her life to absorb everything she’s told. This is just the first time she’s had a source of information that was factual as well as allowed her to ask questions and give her answers in return that weren’t “That’s what the bible says” or “Because I said so that’s why” or “Be quiet before I use my hand or a blunt object to teach you how to be a “proper lady””.

      Once she learns how to determine if information is credible, her rapid absorption of knowledge is going to help her leaps and bounds in becoming the scientist she said she wanted to be, if she was genuine about wanting that.

      1. Fart Captor

        OR, and just hear me out here, she’s actually an entire person with agency of her own, and and she’s interested in both dinosaurs and what her girlfriend has to say

  16. Kris

    This Sydney is actually more successfully evil than her Shortpacked counterpart.

    1. Sensei Le Roof

      This evil could get her fired.

  17. foamy

    ALWAYS BE WINNING

  18. Scar Man!!!

    and the steven universe reference for the win

    1. Arianod

      You mean: FOR THE WINNERS!

  19. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays some Billy Idol on the hacked Muzak*

  20. Rosie

    Voting “Perhaps This Pizza Will Quell Your Senseless Sapphic Pawing” for next book title.

    1. Terrh

      Second!

    2. Malisteen

      Too long. Shorten it to just “Senseless Sapphic Pawing”, and I think you’ll have a winner, though.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Eh, there have been some ridiculously long ones already. The trend is set.

      2. Minotaur

        Senseless Sapphic Pawing sounds more like a Slipshine. I’ll second the longer version, though.

    3. Disloyal Subject

      Hell, I’ll throw in with that.

    4. Reltzik

      Good candidate, but I’m still holding out for Sixteen Billion Pounds of Sexual Power.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Huh. I don’t remember that strip…

  21. Tacos

    Sydney, give them their correct goddamned pizza before Dina decides to feast on your flesh.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Yeah, Dina does am honest day’s studying, she deserves already dead food.
      Raw meat is so chewy, anyway, though I admit I’ve never tried it that… fresh.

  22. Pablo360

    See, you know they’re meant to be together because Becky said the name of a dinosaur that isn’t pop-cultural.

  23. Kernanator

    Sydney Yus, you are history’s greatest monster.

    1. inqntrol

      Don’t say that, she’ll take it as a compliment.

  24. Mr. Random

    HOW INSIDIOUS!

    1. Deanatay

      Subject walks into a well-lit, comfortably appointed waiting room. Waiting room muzak plays from a hidden speaker. A scraggly-bearded man is the only other occupant, sitting on a comfy-looking couch.

      Sign: Welcome to the torture chamber! Please take a number and be seated.

      Subject walks up to ticket dispenser – it is empty.

      Subject: Insidious!

      Subject sits on couch next to scraggly-bearded man. Looks over his shoulder at the ticket in his hand: 53472.

      Looks at display over door.

      NOW TORTURING: 03

      Subject: Those fiends!!

      1. foamy

        Hello, Girl Genius 2011-03-07, my old friend. :p

  25. John

    Has someone broken to Dina that cereal isn’t carnivore-food?

    Also, it’s pretty funny seeing Becky being the reasonable one in a conversation.

    1. John

      (… also that, “My girlfriend is clearly a carnasaur and this isn’t meat,” is the reasonable position in the conversation.)

    2. Shiro

      Cereal is velociraptor* kibble, donchaknow?

      *oh come on, my spellcheck recognizes velocipede but not velociraptor??

    3. Fart Captor

      Cereal doesn’t count because it’s not vegetable either. But pizza without meat on it is pizza without purpose

      1. Adept Arcanist

        What are you talking about? True pizza is

        1. Adept Arcanist

          fluffy crust with tomato sauce and cheese on it! Anything else just distracts from the important stuff!

    4. Pablo360

      What do you mean? Becky’s always reasonable! Except when she makes uncomfortable jokes about The Time Machine by H. G. Wells.

      Or is it. H. G. Welles? I guess we’ll never know.

      “Just Google it.”

      I SAID I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW

      1. Larkle

        She is generally pretty reasonable though.

      2. a/snow mous/e

        H.G. Wells.
        Although in 1938, Orson Welles did pull a famous radio hoax where he read The War of the Worlds and people who tuned in at the middle of the broadcast thought there was an actual interplanetary war going on.

        1. foamy

          That wasn’t INTENTIONALLY a hoax, it was just a standard radio play :p

  26. newllend(henryvolt)

    So are Jobs and you are getting fired from yours for this.

    1. Shiro

      It would absolutely be like Galasso to train his employees to serve only the worthy or someshit like that

    2. Scoops

      My prediction, Sidney gets fired, Galasso hires the closest person looking for a job, Sidney has vendetta against Becky for taking her job.

      1. Bagge

        In the Shortpacked universe that would be perfectly logical. Remains to be seen if it stays true here.

  27. Captain_CloudWolf

    OMG STEVEN UNIVERSE

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      WHERE !?

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        *Reads Alt text* oooooooh cool.

  28. Derek

    does Sydney plan to annoy the customers into submission?
    also someone please explain to me what Tsaagan mangas is

    1. Pablo360

      It’s a genus of dromaeosaurid from the Djadokhta Formation in Mongolia.

    2. quix

      Behold the power of the internet:

      http://www.dinosaurfact.net/Cretaceous/TsaaganMangas.php

    3. Disloyal Subject

      Hint: it’s bastardized Mongolian.

  29. BeckyHop

    Well, SOMEONE’S not getting a tip.

    1. Arianod

      Someone would be getting freakin’ fired IRL. It’s just as well for Sydney that she’s immune to the laws of real life, like Galasso and Mike XD

  30. JessWitt

    There’s a pizza place in my area that is now serving Smores pizza.

    1. Schedim

      As someone who once upon time dated an Italian girl … I put the pizza inquisition on you! Heresy!

    2. thejeff

      Friend of mine back in college ordered spam pizza.

      Had to supply his own spam though.

  31. Saaaam

    How Becky Got Her Job

    1. Arianod

      …and earned Sydney’s unending hate and thirst for revengeance.

  32. otusasio451

    The alt-text has inspired me.

    There you are, in your seats
    As you wait for pizza that you’d like to eat
    There you are, you want food
    And your pawing signifies romantic mood

    Dino hat, Pixie hair
    And as I pass by, I cannot help but stare
    As do you, at this food
    That is carried by your future ruler, Yus.

    Your pizza, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t-this your pizza?
    Your pizza, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t-this your pizza?

    I’ve just brought you veggie
    You’re not good enough for meat.
    Your pizza, isn’t it? Yus insists you eat!

    Mushrooms, spinach, and tomatoes
    Mozzarella, asiago
    I’ll reveal my potential
    After college; and then I will

    Rule all you simpletons held ‘neath my thumb
    To my commands, all of you shall succumb
    And in the future, you shall wonder why
    You denied that you ordered this pie!

    YOUR pizza, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t this your pizza?
    Your pizza, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t this your pizza?
    For meat in a dinner, is for winners!
    You’ve not WOOOOOOOOOOOON!

    Your pizza, isn’t it? Eat it and move on.

    Your pizza, isn’t it?

    Eat it and…move ooooooon…

    1. otusasio451

      I love Steven Universe.

    2. Arianod

      This is beautiful and I’ crying TwT

  33. Bagge

    Um, no Sydney. Berating customers because they are smooching it up is OK (and given that it’s a college pizza place, probably pretty common.) Berating them because they are FOOLS is part of the Galassos experience, but berating them because they are lesbians is discrimination.

    There are plenty of people who would prefer if restaurants did not serve lesbians. It’s not long since one of those people hunted Dina and Becky with a gun.

    Bad Sydney. No “fool” for you.

    1. Fart Captor

      The way I read it, Sydney was berating them for the PDAs rather than specifically for their sapphic nature.

      1. Bagge

        Maybe, but adding the “sapphic” part still invokes the discriminatory structure Becky and Dina is all too familiar with. I mean, Becky was part of a Chick-fil-A boycot, so this absolutely ring a bell.

      2. Idonea

        “PDA” is not neutral. It’s a term deeply loaded w/ homophobia from the start. People do not react the same nor proportionally, even if they think they do. Nor would being ‘equally’ against it have the same results in a heteronormative society.

        She literally just gave her a pat on the head. People will comment about PDA on lesbians’ personal text posts for just mentioning their girlfriend n’ shit.

        (and “Senseless” is Not A Great Addition, Sydney, given how same-gender couples are attacked as though societally w/o purpose & less real.)

        1. Fart Captor

          I’m not saying it’s impossible Sydney is being homophobic, only that I didn’t interpret it that way. The reason for that is largely based on her behavior in Shortpacked. Finding all human affection contemptuous would fit perfectly with her particular brand of cartoonish villainy.

          Coming from a less outlandish character, I would assume it was intentional bigotry, though it’s certainly possible that this incarnation isn’t as harmless as the original

        2. Arianod

          The fact that Sydney isn’t above foolish human gender stuff like Galasso, is yeat another sign that she’s unworthy and destined to fail!

        3. Shadow12000

          It’s Sydney, and sapphic is just a description word. Just because buttbrains have used it in the past for homophobia doesn’t mean it has to be a word for homophobia, otherwise there wouldn’t be a “G” in LGBT+. It also makes me think of sapphires and I’m born in September and think the word sounds beautiful. As for the Sydney thing, everything is senseless if it’s not domination.

  34. Kris

    <3 Steven Universe!

  35. Bagge

    Heh, two strips ago Dina showed off her new skills in the art of Humor for Becky. Now Becky shows off her dinosaur lore for Dina.

    Dooooooooofuses 🙂

    1. Emperor Norton

      What are you going to do when DoA shows a non-doofus strip again? Will you go into catatonic shock?

      1. Bagge

        Whine about it on the internet, mainly 🙂

    2. Fart Captor

      These two continue to be the best.

  36. Pl0x

    I haven’t watched that yet!!! Stop trying to spoil me! Dang it, internet! Even from someone who doesn’t even watch the show at all!

    I found out about Garnet’s fusion before watching Jailbreak, due to willfully reading the SU-related internet. Woes of watching a show on backlog.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Eh, exposure to fanart of one particular fusion is what convinced me to watch it.
      Then again, I haven’t gotten around to actually watching it yet, unless fight scenes on YouTube count.

    2. Chris Phoenix

      Garnet fused? WTF? Why didn’t you put “SPOILER WARNING” on that paragraph?!@?

      (just kidding)

      1. Chrissy

        But actually… this may be some people’s first exposure to the show.

        1. Arianod

          I refuse to believe that there are still people who haven’t watched Steven Universe. What are they doing with their lives????

          [Warning: rethorical question. Do not answer]

        2. Deanatay

          Taking classes, looking for work, and playing Fallout in my spare time, if you must know.

        3. Deanatay

          Oops. Sorry. Missed the warning. Should put that at the top next time…

        4. Arianod

          Will do.

      2. Pl0x

        I was completely aware that some people might not have watched Jailbreak yet. Yes, I am a hypocrite. I’m sorry.

        Also, on the whole I actually appreciate this comic’s reference to SU, because once I do watch that episode, I could have a fun time coming back to this. 🙂

  37. BBCC

    I’m sorry if any of the comments are upsetting you Willis. I feel the same way when my friends try to sell me on The Walking Dead when they know I have a phobia of zombies.

    It sucks when people try to get you to see something when you want it to stop, no matter how good it is. I hope you feel better.

    1. BBCC

      What the fuck? This was as a reply to The Willis Above regarding SU obviously.

      1. David M Willis

        Sorry. I decided I’d rather not talk about it and deleted my post.

        1. Spencer

          FWIW I’d like to apologize. I kinda just wanted to share a bit of fanboy glee about it, but I should have figured that’s something you’ve been inundated with a thousand times by now.

          My bad, seriously.

          (also fer shiz tho, Windblade is the fucking bomb. Thanks for getting me hooked on this stuff)

        2. David M Willis

          I have a Windblade shrine. She is good.

        3. Spencer

          She talk to cities! That is like the coolest thing!

        4. a/snow mous/e

          BBCC just got ninja’d!

  38. segnosaur

    To be honest I’m not sure if I quite understand the humor or purpose of Sydney’s dialog and reaction. Ok, when we first saw her she seemed to be arrogant and in training to be Gallaso Jr. But the whole “isn’t it” thing confuses me. (Is this some pop-culture reference I’m missing?)

    1. otusasio451

      Allow me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ussqi3nagrQ

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Huh. Wasn’t planning on crying tonight.

  39. Dandi_Andi

    The Feels.

    Even though Becky’s fixation on Dina’s hat may feel a little silly to some of us, it has beautifully highlighted the non-sexual nature of intimacy (OK, it was clearly a little sexual to Becky). Becky and Dina have been revealing and embracing parts of themselves that they fear being judged for or have been judged for in the past. Becky just pushed past a major barrier in learning to ask for things she wants. Cerberus did an excellent job of exploring why that was such a breakthrough. Removing her hat was clearly an intimate act for Dina as well. Given the comfort she finds in it (highlighted by how quickly she put it back on in the presence of Sydney), removing it was a meaningful act of trust.

    This relationship is just so goddamn beautiful. All of his characters’ relationships are in their own ways. I just want to hug everyone right now.

    1. Emperor Norton

      *hugs you right back*

    2. Fart Captor

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to go around hugging people because of these two.

  40. Larkle

    Is this homophobia? I’m too confused to be able to tell.

    1. Arianod

      Nah, it’s just Sidney Yus being an asshole as per standard procedure.

    2. JBento

      No, unless Sidney’s personality is utterly disconnected from her Shortpacked! persona. “Senseless sapphic pawing” IS a condemnation, but of the “senseless” part – the “sapphic” is just a statement of fact. Much like Galasso, Sidney is cartoonishly megalomanical, but trades in Galasso’s tactics of “understand to dominate” for “just dominate.” Doing senseless things is something she condemns, because it gets in the way of DOMINATION! (and bringing about the downfall of FOOLS!)

      1. BenRG

        I don’t think that Sydney is necessarily bigoted in any way. However, I think it is possible that she may end up enabling homophobic activity as part of her revenge. A sort of ‘strange bedfellows’/’means to an end’ thing.

        1. Deanatay

          I think the only reason the word ‘sapphic’ is in there is to create a rhythmic quartet: ‘cease your senseless pawing’ doesn’t sound as good as ‘cease your senseless sapphic pawing’.

        2. Deanatay

          Sorry, it’s ‘quell’, not ‘cease’.

        3. JBento

          Also, alliteration. I’m surprised Willis didn’t go with “senseless sapphic stroking.”

        4. a/snow mous/e

          Cease your senseless sapphic stroking!

        5. a/snow mous/e

          Although “pawing” links back to the alliteration of “perhaps this pizza”

  41. Opus the Poet

    Yes it was. You should never admit weakness on the internet.

    1. Opus the Poet

      That was supposed to be a reply to Willis in the thread about SU.

  42. motorfirebox

    isn’t it

    IS IN TIT

    1. a/snow mous/e

      goddammit Joe

    2. Falling Star

      should’ve seen this coming

      1. a snow ʍousɐ

        *cumming

  43. trlkly

    So this Sydney everyone likes is a complete asshole, and petty and mean? …okay then. Not what I was expecting at all. Figured she was just a smartass, like the other “likeable assholes” in the strip.

    1. Fart Captor

      She’s Galasso’s villainous counterpart. She’s not likable so much as entertaining and usually harmless

      1. Bagge

        I love that joke! She’s the one person who actually takes Gallasso’s madness seriously.

    2. Shiro

      …it’s a comic. A pizza shop server refusing to serve patrons because “flesh is for winners” and talking like a B movie villain is comical, mainly because it’s ridiculous and would not happen in real life.

    3. Disloyal Subject

      More of a GLORIOUS HAM who is also a complete asshole. Like a Disney villain.

    4. JBento

      I’m not sure “like” is the correct term. More like “enjoys.” See, Sidney is utterly villainous in a petty, incompetent, hilarious kind of way. Since she’s so ridiculous we can’t take her seriously, she’s actually funny. Unlike other strip villains, like Mary, Blaine, Ross, or Ryan, her brand of evil is so disconnected from reality we can laugh at it, much like the Coyote versus the Road Runner antics.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, Sydney’s a villain, but she’s the kind of villain who built a supervillain squad to fight our heroes and then reenacted the climax of the Beast Wars episode “Code of Hero” because Dinobot.

        Kind of like if Carla were a villain, only with more Transformers references. Speaking of which now I want Carla and Sydney interacting.

  44. robertskitch

    We’ll all see who the winners are when the meat-eaters have turned Earth into a dust bowl due the unsustainability of animal agriculture. 😛

    1. Gesc

      Nah bro, we can kill humanity but we can’t do shit to the planet. It all heals in time.

      1. Regalli

        Life itself survived the Permo-Triassic extinction event, after all, and that killed something like 90% of all life. We’re probably gonna go extinct as a species, one and all, but life itself? Give it a couple million years and it’ll eventually adjust.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Vat-grown meat is a thing now, bugs can be pretty efficiently farmed, and traditional animal agriculture can be sustained on a smaller scale as luxury goods.
      Carnivory is going nowhere fast.

  45. Keulan

    Yes, more Sydney Yus! FOOLS!

  46. Time Sage

    Damn it, now I want Pizza…

  47. Arianod

    Rarr! :3

  48. EvergreenFir

    Please call your Slipshine of Dina and Becky “Sapphic Pawings”

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Sapphic Saurian Pawings?

  49. BenRG

    I’ve always thought that Sydney was a woman with serious issues in her life. I mean, to treat everyday life like you are a supervillain? To engage in random acts of cartoonish evil utterly out of proportion to any possible motivation? She just strikes me as a sad, sad girl.

    Personally, I’ve thought for a long time that she needs a hug and someone to tell her that, yes, there is someone to whom she matters.

    No, I’m not volunteering; something tells me that being her SO would be high-maintenance from day one. 😉

    1. TheStranger

      I feel like that’s the punchline. Her previous SO was a loser, and so did not get the flesh…if you know what I mean.

      And I think you do.

  50. Ivy

    What is this alt text

    1. Ivy

      Omg wait I GET IT NOW

  51. AGV

    And here I thought that the “It’s over, isn’t it?” jokes were over

    1. BBCC

      Never.

    2. buckybone

      Depends…is the alt-text put in the system when the comic is? Because the buffer’s large enough that this joke might’ve been current when he made it.

    3. Haven

      Why can’t we move on?

    4. Falling Star

      Aren’t they?

  52. Kingmonster

    Hurray for our resident Starscream. Maybe she’ll actually claim the star saber from her fearless leader.

  53. Commodore Jeep-Eep

    Deliberately fucking an order? That’s a firing, whether it’s now, or after Galasso starts losing customers.

    1. Killjoy

      Someone who’d fuck an order should be less judgemental of other people’s relationships.

  54. Lizzie

    Sydney, you might want to bring them the right pizza or Becky may just decide to complete job application for Galasso, and suddenly you’ll have a coworker who will provide you with plenty of details about their “senseless pawing” outside of work and watching the inevitable scenario of Dina coming in while her girlfriend is working so they can cast looks each other’s way as much as possible.

  55. GhostWriterL

    So… instead of being an incompetent ‘mastermind’ out to take over a toystore… she’s an overbearing vegetarian that hates PDA?

    I was going to say militant vegan except that pizza has cheese and likely non-vegan crust… also, working in a pizza parlor is odd if being around animal products genuinely offends you.

    Seems like a good opener for Sydney either getting herself fired or quitting in a rage, and Galasso hiring Becky as her immediate replacement… then having that segway into Sydney going back into her ‘classic’ role albeit with a different target.

    1. Daibhid C

      I don’t see how you’re getting “overbearing vegetarian” from “flesh is for winners.” – that sounds more like she thinks meat is awesome but Becky and Dina don’t deserve it, somehow.

      1. BenRG

        +1 Ditto

    2. BenRG

      I think that Willis is setting up Sydney to be a comedy antagonist that nonetheless condemns organised bigotry through parody. Sydney will, as you suggest, probably get fired for disrespecting Galasso’s clients for the umpteenth time. She’ll declare revenge and, as comedic as it is, it will probably turn out to be basically an anti-gay thing: Irrespective of her own feelings, she’ll end up becoming part of a local anti-gay group because she needs them as her footsoldiers and will end up enabling things that she normally wouldn’t consider.

  56. BenRG

    Just a secondary thought: I’ll laugh my butt off if Sydney is reciting from a script Gallasso provided. That could lead to an interesting tail end to the conversation: “Hey, you work here, you dance to the tune the boss plays.” ((Clears throat)) “Now, where was I? Oh yeah: FOOLS!!!”

  57. kater

    “Flesh is for Winners”
    book title? T-shirt?

    1. BenRG

      Nah, Mission Statement for the Zombie Apocalypse!

  58. Djaevlenselv

    So wait. Who’s Greg, and who’s Pearl here?

    1. Spencer

      Becky is also a lesbian pining for someone who doesn’t love for the same way (I think, Rose reciprocated Pearl’s affections right?) so I think she fits.

  59. Betrayer

    Meat is for closers. ABC, ladies.

  60. NinjaNick

    Dina is so funny. Rarrr!!!

  61. Bicycle Bill

    Why bother putting a pizza on a stand like that?  It’s not because the pan is so hot that it would mar the tabletop; if it were then Sydney would not be able to carry it in her bare hand.

    1. John

      It makes it more likely to tip off and dump pizza cheese-side-down on the tabletop when it becomes unbalanced because everyone’s eating off one side. Insidious!

      (Also it reduces the tabletop footprint of the pizza and makes more room for people’s plates and such.)

    2. showler

      We used different stands around here, but I always thought it was because a pizza took up too much square footage if placed directly on the table.

      1. Huttj509

        Once you get to pan + plates I can see that, less if you have 2 people than in you have 5-6.

  62. zathael

    wait, it’s over isn’t it

  63. Rob Carlson

    What are everyone’s favorite Tsaagan Mangas? Mine’s Rurouni Kenshin.

    1. Spencer

      Pluto, yo.

      It’s What If Astro Boy was grimdark and also that wasn’t a terrible idea.

      1. Coco Pommel

        Implying that Astro Boy isn’t hardcore to begin with…

  64. Ozzi

    Slams servers head into the table repeated through the pizza.

    THIS IS NOT MY F*CKING ORDER. GET A NEW ONE.

  65. Meredith

    Why am I not surprised that the author of something with straight girls being a minority of the girls in canon references Steven Universe?

    1. Killjoy

      Insufficient sample size.

  66. Joebo

    She’s about to be fired, again, isn’t she.

  67. Jhon

    Why the hate for Personal Digital Assistants?
    (my acronym can beat up your acronym)

  68. Thalass

    Oh gods. That song. The feels. >.<

  69. Kate

    OMG Pearl reference.

  70. All-Purpose Guru

    Sydney can’t even do Evil very well. Incompetent Evil Genius. Well, Incompetent, but not really Evil, and certainly not genius.

  71. Yunider

    I like Sydney.

  72. Onion

    HOLY SHIT THE ALT TEXT
    THAT WAS THE LAST THING I EVER EXPECTED TO FIND IN THIS COMIC

    [I am delighted, just to clarify]

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