It’s not that she “finds” menstrual cramps to be painful, it’s that her menstrual cramps are actually abnormally painful. That has nothing to do with how she would handle the pain of a UTI.
Hambone Jones
You’re educating the stoned avatar of Pikachu. Just breathe, friend.
She finds them painful because, for her, they ARE. Normal menstrual cramps aren’t that bad, but a solid 10% of people with uteruses have endometriosis, and there are plenty of other causes of abnormally painful menstruation. Unfortunately people don’t tend to know that isn’t normal, either because pop culture has convinced them that periods are supposed to be that painful or because they think they’re just being a wimp about it.
Ugh! Yeah, just the idea of what she’s suggesting is just awful.
Would you put soap in your mouth, Joyce? Cause what you’re suggesting is far worse.
Dotty, I think you might have to throw yourself on this grenade.
And by grenade, I mean Joyce’s vulva.
With all the truth in the world, you can even stick the whole shower head up there and spray the whole thing spotless, and a little washing-up liquid won’t cause a bit of harm.
clif
I defer to your expertise.
Furie
I gotta see a doctor. Ain’t no way a shower head is fitting up mine. Didn’t even know they were meant to. Hopefully it’s not too late in life to fix that.
Nymph
Get well soon from your future butt surgery.
VicMortimer
Back in high school, a friend was absolutely fascinated with gay male sex. Being unable to have any herself, she ordered a VHS gay porn from a catalog she’d found. Among the truly awful things in this particular video, there was a scene where a shower head was inserted into a butt. Bad enough on its own, it became much worse when upon removal the guy who had done the inserting then placed his mouth behind the butt to catch the stream of water coming back out.
A gay friend and heteroflexible me were in the room. We were both horrified at pretty much everything in the video. Meanwhile our friend who had ordered the video was just absolutely fascinated with the whole thing. We had to explain to her that no, most of that was not actually commonly done. Any thoughts of giving her a live demo were out the window after seeing the video, we were that squicked.
Adept
Second hand horror here.
Another good example why people should not try to learn _anything_ about sex from porn.
DashWallkick
In fact, this is how you do certain types of sex.
Kazuma Shouri
you either have a very narrow showerhead, or a very loose colon
Or that Lava Soap everyone was using in 2003. Or Zep Cherry Bomb. Or Colgate. Or LorAnn candy flavoring. None of them are safe to use.
VicMortimer
But Ivory is fine for male genitals. I used it as masturbation lube in the bath as a kid.
cain
If you’re curious: The difference is that a penis is covered with external skin, and a vaginal canal is a mucous membrane with a unique bacterial ecosystem and very specific pH requirements.
Adept
The head of the penis is an exposed gland, which is why circumcision is such a body horror idea to me. That kind of ritual mutilation is just horrific, not matter how normalised it’s become in many places.
OBBWG
“Behold, I, Paul say unto you that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing.” – Galatians 5:2 (King James Version)
I looked it up, it was Saul, and he asked David for 100. David brought back 200, I guess just to prove a point.
Paul Arthur
You appear to have been misled by the similarity between the word “gland” and the word “glans”. It is decidedly not a gland.
S.R.
That’s the glans. Not glan/d/s. Remember, the bit covered by the foreskin can usually be (mostly) exposed by manipulating a still-attached foreskin. It is meant to be exposed to the air (and other things) to some extent. It’s not just raw flesh or organ.
mindbleach
Thanks for that description. For a brief moment, I understood how asexuals feel.
S.R.
Right, because the penis is covered in skin, and is not a mucous membrane with a delicately balanced biome of microorganisms.
OK. Purely out of scientific curiosity: is there any kind of hygiene product that is appropriate to use “there”? Or does it have to be just water, like Dorothy says?
There are some that are safe, but the truth is that vaginas are self-cleaning and your vulva only needs warm water because it’s a mucous membrane. Soap strips away necessary protections and can create a perfect environment for bacteria to thrive in the dark, damp space (a bacteria’s favorite home).
Some smell is normal (become familiar with your natural healthy smell throughout your cycle if you are the owner of a vagina) but if it’s so bad you really feel like you NEED to get something up inside it… go to a doctor instead because you may be noticing the start of an infection, a trapped tampon, or other imbalance and need meds/assistance.
Planned Parenthood is a good option if you’re worried about expense. Sorry to those who live somewhere those have been shuttered 🙁
Internally, no, just water. For the external-but-somewhat-protected bits, lotion is fine, but no actual cleaning products. For the external bits that are all covered in hair, regular (gentle) soap is fine.
I realised at this late stage that the comic is moving towards ”vulva washing” territory.
As a Nordic bloke I cringe any time ”douching” is referenced. There is so much hate and misinformation towards the female body in the the US, and the usual snake oil salesmen.
About half of us regret our ignorance-peddling, patriarchal, and puritanical cultural founders. About a third of us continue to perpetuate the old, antisocial, and regressive practices. 🙁
Adept
Currently the US is like a horrific multi car pile-up on the highway that just keeps escalating.
I’m spending a lot of time following US politics. The collapse of the 248 year old Republic effects everybody on the planet. I hope you manage to stop becoming the 4th Reich.
When you put the number right there, it puts into perspective how fucking young the USA is.
Astariel
It’s pretty old for a continuous form of government, though. France, for example, has been through 5 republics, 3 monarchies, 2 empires, and a fascist dictatorship in the time the US has been using the Constitution.
Adept
It was the oldest, still running democracy. I think that democracy died when Trump’s second term started.
It was far from perfect, and occasionally absolutely horrificic (genocide and repeated betrayal of treaties with the native population, overthrowing and annexing the kingdom of Hawaii, subjugating the Philippines…. etc.
Lots of horror and atrocity, but even so the death of the Republic is a tragedy.
That’s bullshit quitter talk. I’m sick to death of everyone rolling the fuck over and just letting themselves die because resistance might be a bit of a bother on such a nice and lazy Tuesday when the breeze is just right. If you’re not an American and you’re not actively aiding the fight, politely, keep your head up your ass where it belongs. If you’re an American, stop giving up just because it’s hard. My mom didn’t raise me to be a quitter, and if yours did she was a shitty fuckin’ mom.
That’s the Royal You, of course, unless you’re feeling personally attacked by it, in which case either come to my house and fucking fight me IRL or stay silent like a good little drone and let the real Americans do your fighting for you.
Adept
I’ll believe it when I see it. Trump winning a second term, and evertything that has happened since tells a very different story Taffy. Those in the US now know the answer to the question ”What would you have done when Hitler got into power”.
Prove me wrong. It will make me very happy.
Li
Wow, I would’ve been less polite if I’d read this first. On what planet is talking about us in the past-tense supposed to be encouraging anyone to fight????
By far the biggest opposition leftists are running up against in our own circles is this doomer attitude like it’s already over and we might as well lie down to die, and the fact that you both don’t know that and think “everything that’s happened” since the election shows no one in America is fighting at all is just…
And then you ALSO acknowledge how close your own most recent election brought you to being in the same position?!
I cannot follow your logic here at all. What kind of abusive drill sergeant ass motivational technique is this supposed to be.
And no, it’s not your job to motivate us, but you claim to hope we turn things around, so why would you want to demotivate us. It’s completely inscrutable and frankly infuriating.
Li
I, meanwhile, was heartened yesterday by this post about how at the very least America’s fascist turn has motivated a lot of other countries around the world to fight harder against their OWN burgeoning far-right parties. It’s cold comfort right now, but I shared this link while literally saying to my partner, “way to go, everywhere else!”
I am not your imagined selfish American who doesn’t care about the rest of the world and isn’t painfully aware that our horrible mistake affects everyone else. I’m fuckin’ relieved for your sakes that so many of you are avoiding disaster because of our horrible example.
But I’m also still terrified pretty much every day, and all I am asking for from people on the outside is not to be smug assholes about what we’re going through. I don’t think that’s too much, but maybe it is for you.
Adept, you’re not doing anything but looking at the person who’s already tied up under the bus and whining at me for not lifting it with the one finger I can wiggle. Everything you’ve said about this topic is less than worthless. I’m doing what I can, ya foreign crybaby.
Adept
No Li, not ”close to the same position”. The US very vulnerable due to the de-facto two-party system. In my country we dealing with nasty cuts to social security, disinformation and coddling the richest 5%. We aren’t in danger of losing our actual democracy.
From over here it looks much more like the biggest danger to the US is how few people actually accept how dangerous a time this is. I’m not suggesting anybody give up, I have said nothing like that.
What I’m saying is ”we’ll get them in the midterms” is still thinking this is just democracy as usual. Heck, I hope I’m wrong and you guys are right.
You are both willfully misunderstanding and misrepresenting what I wrote however, so I’ll leave it at this. Rather archtypically rude, but not surprising at all, I’m afraid. Circular firing squad and all that.
Complaining at the people who are actually noticing the problem is pointless, and everyone knows that. You are not entitled to unconditional politeness when you go out of your way to shit-talk people who are doing their best, you fucking troll.
Kyulen
We’ve only really been a democracy for the rich. The founders of this country, the ones who pushed for independence from the British and wrote the Constitution, were all wealthy, white, landowning or business-owning men. Many of them owned slaves. They made this country for people like them, and while things have improved for lots of people since, it’s always been a democracy that benefits the rich over everyone else.
Adept
Exactly this. Thank you Kyulen. Progressives need to be able to face how high the hill we need to climb actually is.
Btw, I don’t care one bean about nationalism, and I think getting upset about anybody badmouthing whatever country we happen to get born in (or live in) is moronic.
Yumi
How are you thinking that’s what people are upset about. Holy shit.
Yumi, it’s obvious they don’t actually think that’s the issue. They’re upset that someone talked back when they made their worthless little jab at Americans, knowing full well this wasn’t going to be a receptive space for the “none of you are doing enough” bullshit.
Li
I don’t know if that’s what they think people are upset about, but it wouldn’t exactly be the first time they made an embarrassing assumption around these parts, had their wrongness pointed out to them, and then proceeded to pretend they’d actually been misunderstood and had never said anything so wrong, before disappearing from the thread entirely.
Like, if they can’t even admit they were wrong about the nutritional value of potatoes, a completely neutral and fairly minor fact, how can we expect them to admit they were being a thoughtless provocateur at the expense of millions of terrified innocent civilians for the timeless lols of “American sucks”.
Yeah, it does suck, but none of us are denying that, and by the way, Adept? If this is what YOU would have been doing during Hitler’s rise — sitting on the sidelines and mocking the people who were losing their country and increasingly afraid of losing their lives for not fighting back harder? — that’s not exactly something you should be proud of.
340 thoughts on “Perusing”
NGPZ
don’t give yourself a yeast infection Joyce @-@
Steamweed
She already finds menstrual cramps to be painful. She ain’t gonna like either YI or UTI. :O
Julez
She has dysmenorrhea, her cramps are actually terrible half the time, that’s why she got B.C.
Stormies
It’s not that she “finds” menstrual cramps to be painful, it’s that her menstrual cramps are actually abnormally painful. That has nothing to do with how she would handle the pain of a UTI.
Hambone Jones
You’re educating the stoned avatar of Pikachu. Just breathe, friend.
Doki
Dysmenorrhea (painful cramps) can honestly get to be WAY worse than the other two.
Trust me on this.
S.R.
She finds them painful because, for her, they ARE. Normal menstrual cramps aren’t that bad, but a solid 10% of people with uteruses have endometriosis, and there are plenty of other causes of abnormally painful menstruation. Unfortunately people don’t tend to know that isn’t normal, either because pop culture has convinced them that periods are supposed to be that painful or because they think they’re just being a wimp about it.
Rose by Any other Name
Ugh! Yeah, just the idea of what she’s suggesting is just awful.
Would you put soap in your mouth, Joyce? Cause what you’re suggesting is far worse.
Dotty, I think you might have to throw yourself on this grenade.
And by grenade, I mean Joyce’s vulva.
Masumi
So what you’re saying is, she should use toothpaste.
*Le me tries to run off before that mental image registers in my own brain*
Veronica
Well you don’t want cavities in your vagina dentata
Skorpeyon
Why did I read that like “hakuna matata”?
Veronica
“Vagina dentata, what a wonderful phrase” is a very old and fondly regarded internet joke
deliverything
For anyone who’s missed it:
http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040121.html
Rose by Any other Name
Huh. Was not familiar with that comic.
I have sung the Vagina Dentata song though, so must have been some cultural osmosis at some point.
Steamweed
Mmm, I do miss me some QoW.
Erik
@Rose by Any Other Name, the QoW archive is a great way to spend a few hours
Veronica
I mean, is toothpaste not just flavoured soap for the mouth?
Steamweed
Very least, most types have active fluoridation to help re-mineralize teeth.
DJTsurugi
that’s what we’re all waiting for. ~<3
Anna
I sincerely hope she will NOT even spray water in there or anything…
Golden Yak
Also don’t put any soap in your butt.
Trust me.
Amara
I mean, yeah don’t put it deep in there, but it’s totally fine to wash the first few cm with a bit of soap suds or body wash.
Taffy
With all the truth in the world, you can even stick the whole shower head up there and spray the whole thing spotless, and a little washing-up liquid won’t cause a bit of harm.
clif
I defer to your expertise.
Furie
I gotta see a doctor. Ain’t no way a shower head is fitting up mine. Didn’t even know they were meant to. Hopefully it’s not too late in life to fix that.
Nymph
Get well soon from your future butt surgery.
VicMortimer
Back in high school, a friend was absolutely fascinated with gay male sex. Being unable to have any herself, she ordered a VHS gay porn from a catalog she’d found. Among the truly awful things in this particular video, there was a scene where a shower head was inserted into a butt. Bad enough on its own, it became much worse when upon removal the guy who had done the inserting then placed his mouth behind the butt to catch the stream of water coming back out.
A gay friend and heteroflexible me were in the room. We were both horrified at pretty much everything in the video. Meanwhile our friend who had ordered the video was just absolutely fascinated with the whole thing. We had to explain to her that no, most of that was not actually commonly done. Any thoughts of giving her a live demo were out the window after seeing the video, we were that squicked.
Adept
Second hand horror here.
Another good example why people should not try to learn _anything_ about sex from porn.
DashWallkick
In fact, this is how you do certain types of sex.
Kazuma Shouri
you either have a very narrow showerhead, or a very loose colon
Saucistophe
…Unless that’s what you like.
Yumi
Oh, Joyce. A little soap can absolutely hurt.
GholaHalleck
Oh god yes. “How bad could it be to use hand soap for this?”
Turns out, feels like you lit your pubes with a lighter bad!
bibulb
I am reminded of every. single. review. mentioning “oh hey, don’t use Dr Bronner’s on your genitals, TRUST ME”.
Taffy
Or that Lava Soap everyone was using in 2003. Or Zep Cherry Bomb. Or Colgate. Or LorAnn candy flavoring. None of them are safe to use.
VicMortimer
But Ivory is fine for male genitals. I used it as masturbation lube in the bath as a kid.
cain
If you’re curious: The difference is that a penis is covered with external skin, and a vaginal canal is a mucous membrane with a unique bacterial ecosystem and very specific pH requirements.
Adept
The head of the penis is an exposed gland, which is why circumcision is such a body horror idea to me. That kind of ritual mutilation is just horrific, not matter how normalised it’s become in many places.
OBBWG
“Behold, I, Paul say unto you that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing.” – Galatians 5:2 (King James Version)
Taffy
Was Paul the one who sent some guy on a fetch quest for like 20 foreskins?
Taffy
I looked it up, it was Saul, and he asked David for 100. David brought back 200, I guess just to prove a point.
Paul Arthur
You appear to have been misled by the similarity between the word “gland” and the word “glans”. It is decidedly not a gland.
S.R.
That’s the glans. Not glan/d/s. Remember, the bit covered by the foreskin can usually be (mostly) exposed by manipulating a still-attached foreskin. It is meant to be exposed to the air (and other things) to some extent. It’s not just raw flesh or organ.
mindbleach
Thanks for that description. For a brief moment, I understood how asexuals feel.
S.R.
Right, because the penis is covered in skin, and is not a mucous membrane with a delicately balanced biome of microorganisms.
ValdVin
Once, cleaning my toothbrush, a tiny bit of toothpaste flew onto my eyeball.
Zero stars. Would not again.
Deanatay
*blink*
That’s only happened to you ONCE??
Once again, I am doing it wrong.
Yumi
Or whatever soap I was using when I was maybe 4 years old in the bathtub and first learning this lesson.
Steamweed
Huh. Who could this person be? :O
Arianod
OK. Purely out of scientific curiosity: is there any kind of hygiene product that is appropriate to use “there”? Or does it have to be just water, like Dorothy says?
Nymph
There are some that are safe, but the truth is that vaginas are self-cleaning and your vulva only needs warm water because it’s a mucous membrane. Soap strips away necessary protections and can create a perfect environment for bacteria to thrive in the dark, damp space (a bacteria’s favorite home).
Some smell is normal (become familiar with your natural healthy smell throughout your cycle if you are the owner of a vagina) but if it’s so bad you really feel like you NEED to get something up inside it… go to a doctor instead because you may be noticing the start of an infection, a trapped tampon, or other imbalance and need meds/assistance.
Planned Parenthood is a good option if you’re worried about expense. Sorry to those who live somewhere those have been shuttered 🙁
Steamweed
100%
Adept
A safe, medical grade body lotion can be ok if used in moderation.
Arianod
I see. Thank you guys for the info!
S.R.
Internally, no, just water. For the external-but-somewhat-protected bits, lotion is fine, but no actual cleaning products. For the external bits that are all covered in hair, regular (gentle) soap is fine.
Adept
I realised at this late stage that the comic is moving towards ”vulva washing” territory.
As a Nordic bloke I cringe any time ”douching” is referenced. There is so much hate and misinformation towards the female body in the the US, and the usual snake oil salesmen.
Steamweed
About half of us regret our ignorance-peddling, patriarchal, and puritanical cultural founders. About a third of us continue to perpetuate the old, antisocial, and regressive practices. 🙁
Adept
Currently the US is like a horrific multi car pile-up on the highway that just keeps escalating.
I’m spending a lot of time following US politics. The collapse of the 248 year old Republic effects everybody on the planet. I hope you manage to stop becoming the 4th Reich.
Taffy
When you put the number right there, it puts into perspective how fucking young the USA is.
Astariel
It’s pretty old for a continuous form of government, though. France, for example, has been through 5 republics, 3 monarchies, 2 empires, and a fascist dictatorship in the time the US has been using the Constitution.
Adept
It was the oldest, still running democracy. I think that democracy died when Trump’s second term started.
It was far from perfect, and occasionally absolutely horrificic (genocide and repeated betrayal of treaties with the native population, overthrowing and annexing the kingdom of Hawaii, subjugating the Philippines…. etc.
Lots of horror and atrocity, but even so the death of the Republic is a tragedy.
Taffy
That’s bullshit quitter talk. I’m sick to death of everyone rolling the fuck over and just letting themselves die because resistance might be a bit of a bother on such a nice and lazy Tuesday when the breeze is just right. If you’re not an American and you’re not actively aiding the fight, politely, keep your head up your ass where it belongs. If you’re an American, stop giving up just because it’s hard. My mom didn’t raise me to be a quitter, and if yours did she was a shitty fuckin’ mom.
That’s the Royal You, of course, unless you’re feeling personally attacked by it, in which case either come to my house and fucking fight me IRL or stay silent like a good little drone and let the real Americans do your fighting for you.
Adept
I’ll believe it when I see it. Trump winning a second term, and evertything that has happened since tells a very different story Taffy. Those in the US now know the answer to the question ”What would you have done when Hitler got into power”.
Prove me wrong. It will make me very happy.
Li
Wow, I would’ve been less polite if I’d read this first. On what planet is talking about us in the past-tense supposed to be encouraging anyone to fight????
By far the biggest opposition leftists are running up against in our own circles is this doomer attitude like it’s already over and we might as well lie down to die, and the fact that you both don’t know that and think “everything that’s happened” since the election shows no one in America is fighting at all is just…
And then you ALSO acknowledge how close your own most recent election brought you to being in the same position?!
I cannot follow your logic here at all. What kind of abusive drill sergeant ass motivational technique is this supposed to be.
And no, it’s not your job to motivate us, but you claim to hope we turn things around, so why would you want to demotivate us. It’s completely inscrutable and frankly infuriating.
Li
I, meanwhile, was heartened yesterday by this post about how at the very least America’s fascist turn has motivated a lot of other countries around the world to fight harder against their OWN burgeoning far-right parties. It’s cold comfort right now, but I shared this link while literally saying to my partner, “way to go, everywhere else!”
I am not your imagined selfish American who doesn’t care about the rest of the world and isn’t painfully aware that our horrible mistake affects everyone else. I’m fuckin’ relieved for your sakes that so many of you are avoiding disaster because of our horrible example.
But I’m also still terrified pretty much every day, and all I am asking for from people on the outside is not to be smug assholes about what we’re going through. I don’t think that’s too much, but maybe it is for you.
Taffy
Adept, you’re not doing anything but looking at the person who’s already tied up under the bus and whining at me for not lifting it with the one finger I can wiggle. Everything you’ve said about this topic is less than worthless. I’m doing what I can, ya foreign crybaby.
Adept
No Li, not ”close to the same position”. The US very vulnerable due to the de-facto two-party system. In my country we dealing with nasty cuts to social security, disinformation and coddling the richest 5%. We aren’t in danger of losing our actual democracy.
From over here it looks much more like the biggest danger to the US is how few people actually accept how dangerous a time this is. I’m not suggesting anybody give up, I have said nothing like that.
What I’m saying is ”we’ll get them in the midterms” is still thinking this is just democracy as usual. Heck, I hope I’m wrong and you guys are right.
You are both willfully misunderstanding and misrepresenting what I wrote however, so I’ll leave it at this. Rather archtypically rude, but not surprising at all, I’m afraid. Circular firing squad and all that.
Taffy
Complaining at the people who are actually noticing the problem is pointless, and everyone knows that. You are not entitled to unconditional politeness when you go out of your way to shit-talk people who are doing their best, you fucking troll.
Kyulen
We’ve only really been a democracy for the rich. The founders of this country, the ones who pushed for independence from the British and wrote the Constitution, were all wealthy, white, landowning or business-owning men. Many of them owned slaves. They made this country for people like them, and while things have improved for lots of people since, it’s always been a democracy that benefits the rich over everyone else.
Adept
Exactly this. Thank you Kyulen. Progressives need to be able to face how high the hill we need to climb actually is.
Btw, I don’t care one bean about nationalism, and I think getting upset about anybody badmouthing whatever country we happen to get born in (or live in) is moronic.
Yumi
How are you thinking that’s what people are upset about. Holy shit.
Taffy
Yumi, it’s obvious they don’t actually think that’s the issue. They’re upset that someone talked back when they made their worthless little jab at Americans, knowing full well this wasn’t going to be a receptive space for the “none of you are doing enough” bullshit.
Li
I don’t know if that’s what they think people are upset about, but it wouldn’t exactly be the first time they made an embarrassing assumption around these parts, had their wrongness pointed out to them, and then proceeded to pretend they’d actually been misunderstood and had never said anything so wrong, before disappearing from the thread entirely.
Like, if they can’t even admit they were wrong about the nutritional value of potatoes, a completely neutral and fairly minor fact, how can we expect them to admit they were being a thoughtless provocateur at the expense of millions of terrified innocent civilians for the timeless lols of “American sucks”.
Yeah, it does suck, but none of us are denying that, and by the way, Adept? If this is what YOU would have been doing during Hitler’s rise — sitting on the sidelines and mocking the people who were losing their country and increasingly afraid of losing their lives for not fighting back harder? — that’s not exactly something you should be proud of.
Taffy
Holy shit, Li. ?
Li
Heh, thanks Taffy.