194

Petting
Posted on April 26, 2013 by David M Willis
I will be at Calgary Expo today!  Booth #1125 with Danielle Corsetto!

194 thoughts on “Petting”

  1. Resne

    Amazi-Boobs, now with chastity spandex.

    1. Aizat

      Well, spandex makes a great protection.

      1. Nightmarewarden

        It also makes good boob-hats!

        1. Wonder Wig

          Amazi-Boobs held together by Wonder Bra. (Not associated with Wonder Wig)

        2. AckAckAck

          Gawked by Wonder Boy.

        3. Roborat

          And grown by Wonder Bread?

        4. Lucca

          From high above the mucky-muck.

    2. Led

      For some reason though, him saying “an outfit that only opens up in the back under a cape” made me think of Darth Vader…

      1. AckAckAck

        I remember seeing this pic of female Darth Vader cosplay consist of leather tight suit and….. yeah.

      2. Felix Kütt

        I just laughed SO hard… I’m actually a little ashamed of it. :))

    3. ironballs16

      He’d have had a far easier time of it if she’d actually had a Chest Window. Plus, Daisy might’ve finally worked SOMETHING out of her system!

  2. Aizat

    Do tell, Danny,do tell. Wait, that sounds odd coming from me.

  3. Mr. Random

    Oh Danny. You’re so repressed.

    1. Leorale

      Yeah, like who calls it “heavy petting”. He sounds like a middle aged woman.

      1. Wack'd

        Or Janet Weiss.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          VICE!

        2. Ronnie

          SLUT!

        3. Les

          “Dammit Janet…I can’t get your cape off!” (Brad Majors)

        4. vsophi

          You’d better wise up, Danny Weiss.

  4. Psycho

    Remember when I said I was proud of Danny?

    I TAKE IT BACK. WITH GUSTO!!!

    1. Aizat

      I’m still proud of him. You can’t just jump in. These things take time and effort and lots and lots of ice cream.

      1. Nightmarewarden

        And chocolate syrup. And there was something about cherries…

        1. Tenn

          Ice cream and chocolate syrup, while tasty, are somewhat lacking as lubricants.

      2. Doctor_Who

        Yeah, romancing a superhero is a tricky business. If you just sort of become their significant other without any buildup, that’s boring. The writers won’t have any drama to work with, and you’ll wind up in a fridge.

        Instead, take the classic Lois Lane method. Years and years of getting rescued, almost figuring out their identity, and occasionally getting superpowers of your own. Then finally, after decades of this, you and the hero will eventually live happily ever after.

        Then they retcon it all away and your love interest gets to screw Wonder Woman instead.

        1. Aizat

          Yeah, the last part was utter tripe and I’m not even a comic book reader.

        2. Nightmarewarden

          Or you might get killed by a rich man with a glider by falling too fast.
          …Marvel is better!

        3. Totz the Plaid

          Forgot about Brand New Day?

        4. Aizat

          Or One More Day?

        5. Kelly

          arg! I was….

        6. Doctor_Who

          Trying to. Still.

        7. Mr. Random

          But Doctor, can’t you change history? Or is the story so horrendous that it has become an unchangeable point in time.

        8. Jeff K!

          You know that the Spider-Man books DID become better after that, right?
          Starting with “24 hours” and continuing on through The Gauntlet and Big Time and Spider-Island, Spider-Man’s been the best it’s been in DECADES. The *method* of removing the marriage was bad, but the fact that it was a major stagnating point for the character isn’t really very arguable (imho).

          Just one fan’s opinion, I suppose.

    2. Yotomoe

      Your first mistake was believing in Danny.

    3. That Damn Rat

      Actually if anything, you should be more proud of him. He ruined his last relationship by getting ahead of himself, he’s taking his time with this one.

  5. Wonder Wig

    CALL A LOCKSMITH!

    1. Aizat

      USE A JACKHAMMER!

      1. JustcallmeSoul

        a CHASTITY SUIT? oh thats going to chaff my willy.

        1. Groove

          That is the best reference and you should be proud.

  6. Yotomoe

    I don’t blame Willis for this so much as I blame myself for ever believing in Danny in the first place.

    1. Aizat

      He’s just taking his first step….and why am I defending Danny again?

      1. gangler

        Wait, am I to understand that Danny’s first instance of physical intimacy with Amazigirl not proceeding directly to sex is emasculating him in the eyes of some readers?

        1. Doctor_Who

          Everything Danny does emasculates him in the eyes of some readers. If he bench pressed Godzilla he’d be made fun of because a real man would simultaneously lift Gamera.

        2. Aizat

          But Danny beat the hardest games in history……in one go!

        3. PetrePan

          Yeah, see, if a guy doesn’t jump right in with da sexing immediately, he’s clearly a loser and a disappointment. If a girl doesn’t commence the sexing right away, she’s wise and cautious and a complex character who isn’t solely motivated by sex.

          *facepalm* Yeah, poor Danny.

        4. vsophi

          I’m pretty sure the reason they’re disappointed is because Danny’s letting this go on way too long. At least, I hope that’s the reason.

        5. Mr. Random

          The reason I am is because he’s treating an albeit intimate experience as if it were much larger than it was. Most people would be happy if they went through the “heavy petting” with their SO for the first time, but Danny’s treating it as if it’s the strongest physical expression of his emotions he’s ever had.
          He’s repressed. I am disappoint in reaction, not action.

        6. TheKelliestKelly

          It might be the strongest physical expression of his emotions he’s ever had. Just because he was with Dorothy for however long he was doesn’t mean they ever got past 3rd base; or even to 3rd base for that matter.

          Frankly, as a fellow virgin (as I’m assuming Danny is) I can’t say my reaction to heavy petting would be any different. And since this is Danny we’re talking about I think a more muted reaction would be out of character for him.

        7. Greenygal

          This strip seems to indicate they did have sex.

          I still don’t see a problem, though. He made out with a girl he really likes! It made him really happy! This is a thing that’s totally okay, and also adorable.

        8. AgentKeen

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/bandaid/
          He isn’t a virgin, but I still agree with you. Danny tends to over-react, and even if he didn’t, he’s only had (as far as we know) one other serious relationship. Not to mention it’s only been weeks that he’s even known Amazi-Girl, and this was the first time they’ve been physically intimate. Plus, he’s really into her, so why shouldn’t he be stoked?

        9. Kelly

          Nope, Danny told Amber one of his previous relationships was consummated.

          And for that matter when Walky said that Joyce’s yell of “pre-marital hanky panky” (at Joe) was yelled at a frequency only virgins could hear, Dorothy said, “No, we all heard it”

        10. Aydr

          Amazi-girl acted on sexual desires with him for the first time, so he’s happy. Maybe too happy but this doesn’t scream of repression to me… don’t forget that he’s confirmed to not be a virgin. If anything this is one of the healthiest reactions we’ve seen him display to just about anything so far.

        11. lightsabermario

          Let’s not forget that he is romancing an honest-to-god superheroine,
          and a gamer girl to boot. It’s pretty much the holy grail of nerddom. If he was anything less than ecstatic, I’d call bullshit.

  7. Kernanator

    Well, at least we got an answer to the question.

    Even if it is disappointing. Like finding an empty toy package in the store.

    1. Aras Pabedinskas

      No, more like when they change the toy out for something completely different. Kind of amusing at first but then just sad and maddening.

    2. Yotomoe

      Or finding the same prize in a cereal box, but never the one you want.

    3. Aizat

      Or like finding a cheap knock-off of an overpowered card. What? Yu-Gi-Oh was popular at the time.

    4. Yotomoe

      Or like playing Wreck-IT-Ralph in Sonic All Stars Racing and he doesn’t once say “I’m gonna Wreck It”

  8. Shobo

    We were fooled!

  9. licoricepencil

    I’ve never understood why “heavy petting” is a term for sexy make-out times. For me, petting is reserved for my cats or my dog.

    Or corgis that I happen to meet.

    1. Nightmarewarden

      Wait, THAT is what that term means? I thought it meant he got to second base…
      C’mon Danny, you’ve gotta make up for lost time! You’re miles behind WALKY!

      1. Yotomoe

        Walky, Danny! Walky! Noone wants to lose to a Walky!

        1. Aizat

          Yeah, but how can someone compete with the Caramel Perfection?

        2. Nightmarewarden

          Kryptonite? A Fromtech 3200 Hexelerator Motherboard?
          …
          …
          A nickel?

        3. Aizat

          McNuggets?

      2. Black Drazon

        Oh shit, you tried to explain one euphemism with another! You’ll collapse the whole baseball diamond!

        …Wow, I don’t want to know what that means.

        1. Jereko

          Explained it wrong, too.

          http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=heavy+petting.

          Yes. I was forced to actually look it up, because I don’t know what it means for sure.

        2. Andiemus

          That’s what I’ve always understood second base to mean…

        3. Kamino Neko

          Sounds more like third base. Second base is just the getting hands under the bra of anyone in the picture who wears one. Once the hands end up in the pants, that’s up to third, and staring down home plate.

        4. Andiemus

          I thought third was oral.

        5. Black Drazon

          I’ve heard “heavy petting” be applied to everything from kissing to handjobs (though I suspect the people saying “kissing” were just too bashful to imply anything else because we have a word for that and it is “kissing”), and I’ve heard second base to imply everything up to manual stimulation as well, like Andiemus seems to be saying. Someone needs to get on these things I have no idea what anyone is trying to say!

        6. Kamino Neko

          The whole baseball metaphor is weak and so vague as to be damn near useless to begin with.

          But if genital stimulation is second base, there’s no room for third!

        7. Geis

          XKCD has the entire baseball metaphor detailed at
          http://xkcd.com/540/

    2. Leorale

      When I was a preteen, before the internets, my parents gave me a book on puberty, which mentioned ‘light petting’ and ‘heavy petting’. I thought that grownups, like, petted each other’s shoulders, like you’d stroke a cat, either lightly or with more force. In retrospect, not a very effective book.

      1. Stephen

        I had heard of ‘heavy petting’ but never connected that phrase with what we were doing at the time (having lots of fun). Hopefully we’ll be more honest and less vague than my parents were with me. Kids really don’t understand generalities, because they’ve never been there. It’s stupid to say ‘you know what I mean?’ if they’re really not old/experienced enough to know what you mean.

        1. Groove

          All of the American sex euphamisms always seemed too vague to be of any use. Proven and exaserbated by the fact that every time I heard them they seemed to refer to something different.

      2. Andiemus

        I certainly am not averse to having my shoulders rubbed.

    3. TPman

      NEVER pet a corgi heavily. They are small dogs.

      1. TPman

        Annnnd my reply is twelve post below what I’m replying to. Guess I’ll just pretend to be some really smart person who’s words don’t make sense.
        “If you were as smart as me you’d get it.”
        Yah, that’s it.

    4. Whittier

      As I understand it, “heavy petting” is an old euphemism for mutual masturbation.

  10. gangler

    Does Joe get unnerved by very mild kinks?

    1. Dicrel Seijin

      This is Joe in his freshman year in college (someone correct me if I’m wrong), he hasn’t a lot of weird things happen to him yet (or maybe never with the whole multiverse thing going on).

      Or maybe it’s the idea that whatever Joe is into is normal and whatever anyone else is into–well, they’re just freaks.

      1. Groove

        If you and your partner don’t like looking at a photo of Joe while both screaming Joe to each other then there much be something wrong with you.

      2. gangler

        Well sure, I can appreciate that he may never have worn a cape in the bedroom himself, but it seems pretty squeamish to be upset by the mention of capes in the bedroom. Am I misjudging how tame Danny’s statement is? It seems to me that even Joyce, scandalized as she might be by the premarital heavy-petty would view the outfit as neat-o funtimes between a married couple who enjoy such sexual accoutrements.

        1. Jessie

          Seems to me maybe Joe thinks, “Cape=dude.”

    2. Logician

      My interpretation was that he gets unnerved by the idea of awkwardness during sex. Sex is so important to him that he wants it to be perfect, easy, effortless and ecstatic every time. Stories of practical difficulties undermine his philosophy of lurve.

    3. John

      Joe earlier on suggested that he didn’t recall the sexes of the people he had engaged in a threesome with, and seemed rather unconcerned about that. I don’t think “kinky” is his problem.

      I think his problem is that Danny is being nerdy.

  11. Leorale

    Why are people disappointed with Danny/Amber? They’re going at their own pace and having a fantastic time.

    1. Aizat

      See, someone agrees with me.

      1. Belegcam

        I do too! If they’re having fun, who are we to judge them for “not doing it right”?

        1. Stephen

          And hey, the extra mystery of her being a superhero makes it more fun!

        2. Audiophillie

          Oh… I remember this argument… ;~;
          But it’s true! I think they made the right decision for not skipping directly to sexy tiems.

        3. Andiemus

          My only issue is that amber isn’t telling Danny that she’s Amazi-Girl. I understand why she’s not but it doesn’t sit right with me.

        4. Groove

          Pretty much this all over. Superhero relationships are pretty creepy and unhealthy in real life.

        5. StClair

          “This new plan is foolproof! Now I can finally entrap Superman into a loving marriage!”
          “Ha ha… poor Lois, she doesn’t realize that I can see, hear, and anticipate everything she does, and am only toying with her for my own amusement, as gods do with mortals.” *winks at fourth wall*

        6. Jelli

          Do “entrap” and “loving marriage” usually go together?

        7. Bill M.

          They do in the Willis multiverse.

        8. beege

          Well yeah, except Danny has explicitly stated that he wants to be kept in the dark and only discover Amazi-girl’s secret identity after a protracted series of wacky hijinks. Plus, when it turns out Amazi-girl has been next to him all along as the unassuming Amber (whom he also likes on her own merits, remember) it will make him even *more* like Lois Lane, which I think Danny will probably enjoy.

          So in these specific and unique circumstances I think it’s probably okay.

        9. xKiv

          She’s not telling him because he tells her not to tell him. Even though he only thinks he’s telling that to AG and doesn’t know he’s also telling it to Amber.

    2. Milosh

      “Their own pace” is actually pretty fast, considering that they’ve known each other for two weeks and have been dating for half that time.

      1. gangler

        Moments after their first kiss they were disrobing right on the street.

        1. John

          Nah, that was their second kiss.

          Moments after their first kiss, Danny was doing menial labor for Amazi-Girl.

          I wonder if they ever put the sign back up properly?

    3. Logician

      Except that the relationship is very odd (by usual standards) because they haven’t even admitted to each other that Amazi-girl is Amber. We have seen earlier that Danny is extremely dense about his relationships: he may not even have realised who she is.

      The point of going slowly is to build up trust by getting to know each other better. How can you do this if you are hiding your identity? Are they really trying to build a deep, personal relationship without Danny knowing who his lover is?

      These days the received wisdom is that you can’t have a serious relationship without total transparency, and any non-serious relationship is only about sex. If you look at fairy tales, though, several of them (e.g. Beauty and the Beast) are about falling in love with someone whose identity is hidden.

      1. gangler

        The question of who his lover is truthfully has very little to do with names.

        1. Logician

          It’s not just names, he already knows Amber. He even told her he can’t date her because he was seeing Amazi-girl. How will he treat her when she isn’t dressed up? As just an acquaintance? A friend?

          The likeliest explanation is that he’s just playing make-believe, and won’t admit the relationship because it destroys the story. Does Amber want to play? Can she cope with him loving her alter-ego while rejecting the real her?

          I think he’s being just as self-centered in this relationship as he was in the last one, and I don’t see it ending well. Give me Joe’s honesty any day.

        2. gangler

          Danny’s selfish because he told Amber he was enjoying Amazigirl’s superheroine mystique and because he didn’t pressure Amazigirl into revealing her secret identity after knowing her all of two weeks?

        3. Logician

          No, I don’t think he was being selfish then, and we’ll see how it goes from here; he hasn’t done anything that selfish yet. But I think he’s doing exactly what he did with Dorothy: completely ignoring her needs for the sake of his own fantasies.

          Maybe that will mesh with Amber’s superheroine fun, but I got the impression in earlier strips that she wants to know him as herself as well, while he isn’t interested in that. It would be a much healthier relationship if he could deal with the reality as well as the fantasy.

        4. gangler

          Man, maybe it’s just the brain drain from exams or maybe it’s that I haven’t slept in 34 hours but I am having a hell of a time making sense of you right now.

          Are you saying that he hasn’t actually engaged in selfish behavior, but he also doesn’t give any indication of having experienced a paradigm shift which would rectify his predisposition towards selfish behavior? While his behavior hasn’t been selfish you believe that he would be behaving differently if he understood what he did wrong in his previous relationship and as such you view this behavior as indicative of selfishness to come. Like observing that the symptoms persist and concluding that the disease is not yet cured or pointing to the smoke and saying we should be on the lookout for fire.

        5. Logician

          Pretty much, yes. I didn’t actually use the word ‘selfish’, I said ‘self-centered’, by which I meant only aware of his own wants and needs. I don’t think he has yet done anything wrong, but from everything we have seen so far, I think he is very likely to screw up the next time he talks to Amber out of costume.

          In a conventional relationship, you can get away with being self-centered (at least in the short term) simply by following the conventions. If he’s dating Amazigirl but not Amber, that’s very far from a conventional relationship, and the only precedents available are from comics. What if he’s following Superman, but she’s following Spiderman? Or worse, what if he just wants a romantic fantasy, but she wants a real relationship with fantasy elements?

          I think off-beat relationships like this can work, but they require either sensitive communication (which he has, so far, shown himself totally incapable of) or the unlikely coincidence that both partners happen to want exactly the same thing.

  12. Sir Robin

    Damn you Willis, this ruined my entire week!!!

  13. ridtom

    Danny looks like he’s about burst into a show tune themed musical number.

    1. Leorale

      Somebody please write this!

    2. Doctor_Who

      “It’s a bright sunny day on the campus!”…no.

      “The dorms are aliiiive/with the sound of heavy petting”…no.

      “Michael Warner was ill/the day the Walkyverse stood still/but he told us/he fucked our moms”…That’s more like it.

      1. Yusaku777

        I believe the gauntlet has been thrown down.

      2. Yusaku777

        All I could do justice to was the chorus.

        ————————————————

        Leslie Bean (oooh oooh oooh), she’s our teacher.
        Jacob’s pecs (oooh oooh oooh), make Ethan linger.
        See readers shipping (oooh oooh oooh), Joyce and Dina.
        And Mike just fucked (oooh oooh oooh), your mom’s vagina.
        Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh…
        At the midnight, refresh your reader, Dave Willis show.

      3. Regalli

        Nah, you’ve just got the wrong Rodgers and Hammerstein for the occasion. Allow me.

        I expect that everyone of my friends to make fun
        Of my proud protestations of faith in romance,
        And they’ll say I’m naïve as a babe to believe
        Every fable I hear from girls in spandex pants.

        Fearlessly I’ll face them and argue their doubts away,
        Loudly I’ll sing about flowers in spring,
        Flatly I’ll stand on my little flat feet and say
        Love is a grand and a beautiful thing!
        I’m not ashamed to reveal
        The world famous feelin’ I feel.

        I’m as corny as Kansas in August,
        I’m as normal as blueberry pie.
        No more a smart little girl with no heart,
        Danny boy’s a superhero guy!

        I am in a conventional dither,
        With a conventional star in my eye.
        And you will note there’s a lump in my throat
        When I tell you how that night went by!

        I’m as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
        A cliché comin’ true!
        I’m bromidic and bright
        As a moon-happy night
        Pourin’ light on the dew!

        I’m as corny as Kansas in August,
        High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
        If you’ll excuse an expression I use,
        I’m in love, I’m in love,
        I’m in love, I’m in love,
        I’m Amazi-Girl’s Lois Lane guy!

        … I was going to change more than five lyrics, but I’ll be honest, it barely needed anything.

        1. Regalli

          Wait, wait. One more, I can do better.

          DANNY
          I can hear the bells

          JOE
          Danny, are you all right?

          DANNY
          Well, don’tcha hear them chime?

          JOE
          You finally lost it?

          DANNY
          Can’t ‘cha feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time?
          And all because she…

          Kissed me
          She looked at me and stared, yes she
          Smooched me
          My heart was unprepared when she
          Tapped me
          And knocked me off my feet
          I was leverage-
          Now my life’s complete ’cause when she

          Found me
          We had a sign to fix, and she
          Hit me
          Just like a ton of bricks, yes my
          Heart burst
          Now I know what life’s about
          One boobhat later,
          And love’s knocked me out and,

          (ADD ENSEMBLE)
          I can hear the bells
          My head is spinning
          I can hear the bells
          Something’s beginning

          Everybody says
          That a guy spineless as me
          Can’t win her love
          Well, just wait and see ’cause

          I can hear the bells
          Just hear them chiming
          I can hear the bells
          My temp’rature’s climbing

          I can’t contain my joy
          ‘Cause this girl is not annoyed
          And we’ve been kissin’
          Listen!
          I can hear the bells

        2. Aras Pabedinskas

          How do you people do these things in so little time? Then again, maybe it just comes easier for you to do stuff like this, I don’t know.

        3. Bill M.

          It’s the secret art of Parody. It’s how parody artists like Weird Al keep coming up with songs for years. And like any good art, the more you use it, the better you get at it.

        4. Andiemus

          I applaud you.

        5. JustcallmeSoul

          i kissed amazi girl and i liked it, wrapped up in yellow spandex…

        6. Andiemus

          I kissed Amazi girl just to try it, something under my shorts expanded

        7. Notebooked

          Under?

          …Man, I don’t even wanna know what’s going on there.

        8. Dicrel Seijin

          Willis should consider just having Danny break out in song, with background characters suddenly breaking into well-choreographed dance behind him.

        9. Notebooked

          “Is she strong? Can she fly?
          Or shoot beams from her eyes?
          Look! Up in the sky!
          Here in a whirl, it’s Amazi-Girl!
          And I’m her Amazi-Guy!”

        10. Li

          “Smart little girl with no heart”

          Well

          No

          She just wasn’t in love with Danny. Big difference.

        11. Regalli

          Yeah, probably should’ve changed that one, too, but I couldn’t come up with a good descriptor for Danny. (SO MUCH INTERNAL RHYMING.)

        12. Notebooked

          No girl who takes classes with big oval glasses?

        13. Regalli

          PERFECT. Man, I wish I could edit comments now. (You are amazing thank you I really hate internal rhymes)

      4. Bill M.

        Okay, it’s been mulling around in my mind since you started that parody…

        Michael Werner made us ill, and we didn’t chill,
        when he said he’d fucked our moms.
        And Billie was there, too drunk to care,
        that Ruth had stole her pom-poms.
        Now Ethan and Joyce are making a choice,
        Daisy is just rolling her eyes,
        Dina’s not fat, she’s got a raptor hat,
        now listen as the forum cries…

        College Age Webcomic Surprise
        Galasso will build a franchise
        See Dexter and Monkey Master
        Danny can’t love Amazi-girl any faster
        Oh-oh-oh, in the College Age Webcomic Surprise

        I knew Roz had been Joe’d, just like a pro,
        A cam displayed the whole show
        And I needed a pal when I saw biker Sal,
        climbing in her upstairs window.
        In class, Leslie Bean, made me feel keen,
        She praised my favorite show,
        And now Joe is confused, thinking Ziggy’s abused,
        Now off to the forums we go…

        To the College Age Webcomic Surprise
        Galasso will build a franchise
        See Dexter and Monkey Master
        Danny can’t love Amazi-girl any faster
        Oh-oh-oh, in the College Age Webcomic Surprise
        (I wanna see) Oh-oh-oh, in the College Age Webcomic Surprise
        (Willis, Damn Thee) Oh-oh-oh, in the College Age Webcomic Surprise
        (On my PC) Oh-oh-oh, in the College Age Webcomic Surprise!

        1. Hannah

          I sang this to the tune of Science Fiction Double Feature!!

  14. madock345

    This strip makes me happy in Sooo many ways.

  15. Ridureyu

    “Danny, what did you do to Batman?”

    1. Aizat

      Entered the Bat-Cave *rimshot*

      1. Yotomoe

        You can say I was Nightwing. Dick went in and then came out a hero.

        1. Nightmarewarden

          I learned today that cats and love have something in common: they bite.

  16. Yusaku777

    Fortuitous Multiverse Crossover! http://is.gd/YhwtXy (Dumbing of Roomies)

    1. LS

      This link deserves some attention, people who are scrolling through!

    2. Anickel4u

      This Crossover is just awesome!!

  17. Brady Kj

    I suspect that Ethan will start to see Amazigirl as a rival for Danny’s affection. This will cause tension, and best case scenario Ethan supervillainy.

    Granted, this is more relevant to yesterday’s post, but I don’t think anyone will read comments on yesterday’s post.

    And why would anyone be upset that two total strangers didn’t have sex with each other?

    1. Notebooked

      I didn’t think Ethan was that keen on Danny specifically, but then I got to “Ethan supervillainy” and started hoping he was just so this scenario could happen.

      “Your reign of graffiti is over, scum–”
      [Transformer in plane form comes out of nowhere, drilling into the wall — Amazi-Girl turns around, narrowing her eyes]
      “Who are you?!”
      “[sillhouetted by moonlight] I’M THE BAT-FAN.”

    2. vsophi

      PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN

  18. Stephen

    Yeah, details are weird. Let’s just keep things comfortably vague.

    1. Andiemus

      “So then she started twirling the stem around with her tongue and asked me to go and get the ostrich feather from where I’d left it with the powdered goat horn…”

  19. ReFlex76

    I thought heavy petting was oral sex, kinda hard to do through clothes.

    1. Kelly

      …no. Think about what petting is.

      1. Aydr

        Oral… hand sex?

        1. Neospector

          And with that, my teenage brain is flashing a series of highly disturbing images.
          Thanks.

  20. Uniqueantique

    Any kind of ‘petting’ sounds as odd to you as ‘ship/shipping’ will to your kids. What ‘shipping’, you mean like sailing a ship or something? heh
    And Danny would have been fine if he was just not so totally clueless (honest) with roomie. Had he just nodded at Joe and jumped in the shower or something, all would have been well and all manner of things would have been well.
    Don’t defend him, just watch from around corners.

  21. Baroncognito

    Oh, come now people, how is it that Walky and Mike rank higher than Joe?

    1. Andiemus

      I concur with the Baron. This is most outrageous!

    2. Aydr

      Everyone who woulda voted vote voted Jacob instead, I’m afraid.

    3. John

      Mike earned his top spot.

      One nickel at a time.

  22. bunivasal

    I’m proud of you, Danny. After all, the irresponsible sex that made college fun isn’t worth it if you’re going to be exclusively having sex with masked girls that DON’T beat you with riding crops.

    1. Dicrel Seijin

      He definitely should get some experience with girls that wield whips and insist that he shout, “Thank you, my queen!” after every lash, just to, you know, compare–what? What’d I say?

  23. Orion Fury

    I find it odd people are commenting on this “Danny” guy. All I saw was Joe’s dorm room door suddenly open and close, Joe noticing himself in a mirror off panel, and proceeding to have a conversation with himself.

    1. Kernanator

      Let’s keep that as a Roomies! joke, mmkay?

      1. Orion Fury

        Ok, then.

  24. C.

    Wait– is Danny saying that he and AG could’ve had sex, but AG’s costume wasn’t suitable?

    1. Alex Stritar

      No, cause he couldn’t get her suit off. In the heat of passion, the blood flow gets consentrated to certain areas, thus the hands get a bit numb and it’s hard to do some fine motor actions. This is why opening a condom packet is really hard and awkward on the spot. Xd

  25. timemonkey

    I am amused by the number of people who thought they actually had sex. What indication did either of them give that would make you think they’d jump from first kiss to sex in the same night?

    1. Josh

      You mean ‘exploring some of that other stuff’ with Amazi-Girl, the scene cut with both of them making out and the ‘I just had sex’ strut don’t count?

      1. timemonkey

        The fault here is assuming sex is the only thing that would make Danny strut like that.

        1. ArkhamTexan

          That’s… true. Hell, whatever specials Galasso’s having on pizza that day would have him strut.

    2. Li

      Why wouldn’t or shouldn’t they, as long as they use protection?

      1. timemonkey

        That’s not the point. It’d be out of character for them to do so.

  26. Brando

    OH COME ON!

  27. Brando

    Just to . . . clarify. I don’t care about the PACE so much as I’m worried that something stupid is gonna happen and prevent them from EVER doing it. Which would be typical of Willis.

  28. Aizat

    And still no PM.

  29. AckAckAck

    Dammit! the song I wrote on the yesterday’s comment section was useless now!

    1. Aizat

      It’s going to be useful. You don’t rush these things.

  30. Megatron

    Why is the larger weak fleshling so concerted about coupling with other weak fleshlings! The smaller one has it right: ingratiate yourself with your betters so that when they take over (as a pretext to the Decepticon takeover) you have a place in the new order.

    Of course, none of you will have a place in MY new order. Unless I enslave you all. But you fleshlings make poor slaves for us Decepticons. You are too weak and fragile.

    1. Animal

      Bring it, mein bongo.

  31. Gargamel

    So dry humping and maybe a little hands-down-pants action due to a lack of access. Ok next time they need some Amazi-Splitpanties.

  32. Animal

    Danny, Danny, Danny. Either the standard or reverse cowgirl, or the good old doggie-style would still be possible even with the costume issues.

    You’re not thinking these things through!

    1. Mo

      Uh, how? It looks like a one-piece coverall, and even assuming the zipper comes all the way to the waist, that’s not enough to permit easy access. Not without significant chafing, anyway.

      On that note, how does Amazi-girl use the bathroom? Does she have to disrobe entirely? Does she leave her mask on?

      1. Animal

        Your second paragraph should give you your answer to the first.

        1. Mo

          If I had the answer, I probably wouldn’t have posted the question. Your brain is going in directions mine can’t even imagine.

        2. Animal

          Yeah, I get that a lot.

        3. Animal

          This might help; instead of “coverall,” think “union suit,” which is what I picture by something that “opens in the back under a cape.”

          Like this:
          http://cdn.pajamagram.com/Images/ProductImages/Large/GKPJ00946_Large_Back_20130109_1347.jpg

        4. AckAckAck

          That’s a sexy pajama….

      2. CRtwenty

        that’s silly. superheroes don’t have to use the bathroom!

        1. AckAckAck

          That’s why they bought SuperDiaper™!

  33. Tenn

    “Gentlemen never tell”

    Thanks, Joe, now I’m hearing “Truthfully, it was only heavy petting” in Professor Layton’s voice.

    …eh, I’ve heard worse things in Professor Layton’s voice.

  34. ArkhamTexan

    Hey now. Let’s not discount how much fun heavy petting is! Who can forget the most power aphrodisiac of all: anticipation?

    1. ArkhamTexan

      Whoever this gravatar is needs to be smirking as they’re making dem eyebrows.

    2. Aizat

      I hear fondue is an amnesiac.

    3. Roborat

      BUt, doesn’t it lead to seat wetting?

  35. AHR

    Booo, Joe, you asked, you’re gonna get all the weirdly fetishistic and strange details ;P

  36. PBManning

    Hypothetically, if one shipped Joe with himself, would the pairing be Joesenthal?

  37. Raoullefere

    Well-played, Joe! Danny won’t ever guess that you only had time to jump into the room before he did and strip your costume off.

    1. Josh

      People must never find out you are really the Giant Mutant Honey-Bun!

      1. Raoullefere

        Oh, come now; that’s just silly.

  38. Kirt Dankmyer

    I… can think of several ways that could work for more than heavy petting.

  39. Hannah

    I’m waiting for someone to start singing Touch A touch Me from Rocky Horror

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