Phresh
Posted on November 6, 2016 by David M Willis

257 thoughts on “Phresh”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    how ’bout “bikini airboard-gunning at wolves out of a helicopter”?

    wait

    1. factorsofx

      Better than slutty librarian or hyperpatriotic cowboy

      1. Spencer

        Or a slutty cowboy or hyperpatriotic librarian.

        1. butts

          Slutty patriot? Cowboy librarian?

        2. DarkoNeko

          Brokeback mountain.

        3. Ghostforge

          how bout a Drippie, or a Hifter?

        4. Tacos

          What about a slutty hyperpatriotic cowboy librarian?

        5. Jack

          Sounds like one of my exes. Nice woman. Went to her wedding eventually. Spends her weekends having ridiculous amounts of sex and shooting black powder weapons. Bookbinder during the week.

        6. Valkyr

          please introduce me to your ex so she can divorce me in person

        7. Ramona

          Ren faire?

        8. Adam Black

          Take it back~!
          There is nothing wrong with slutty Cowboy!

          Have you even watched Bullriding on payperview?
          Do you even ..Bronco?

          ( Go look it up, and grab your Gun Oil.
          I can wait … )

    2. Pablo360

      But is there even a Sarah Palin in the DoA-verse?

      1. Ana Chronistic

        don’t see why not, if there was a Reagan

        when DoA’s still running in 50 years, who knows

    3. Ana Chronistic

      did y’all (who can) vote btw, I’d like to live in a world where I still have a job and basic human rights and shit

      I’m waiting until Taco Tuesday only b/c my polling place is walkable, the rest of you procrastinators better have the same excuse

      1. butts

        Last Tuesday. Whatever happens now, it isn’t my fault.

        (I mean, I live in Massachusetts, so the only thing my vote’s likely to affect is weed.)

        1. Adam Black

          2 words: “Liz Warren”

          The entire country need you to show up for her.
          ( I live in mass also, im disabled and my registration was culled.. again. If you wont vote for yourself, do it for me )

        2. Lailah

          Seriously, the down ticket matters, now that hte republican party has sworn to make governance impossible for Clinton.

        3. Regalli

          Like dudes your open meritless hate-on is showing and if you try and stall the shit you’re claiming I’m pretty sure Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gonna march into the Capitol and kick all your asses both physically and judicially. So um… Actually, please try that. Y’all need an ass-kicking. But at the same time I’d prefer it not to be necessary because I like my government functional. (Remember that couple months at the start of 2009? Good times.)

        4. Lailah

          The likely result of not allowing Clinton to name her nominee, is going to be Congress’ role of ‘advise and consent’ has ‘consent’ removed from it. Unlike White People my primary concern is not the sacred unchangeable writ and it not being followed, it’s the practical concern of the executive seizing more power (A process ongoing for the last 20 years)

          Interestingly, the executive seizing more power does not fuel that much of my fear of Trump. This goes against my expectations 8 years ago when I hoped Obama didn’t expand it. Most of what Trump would use against me doesn’t really require a strong executive branch (though the NSA is vaguely terrifying in his hands), and what truly terrifies me is the racist mob who would put him into power.

          But, we still don’t need the executive branch expanding its powers further. And this president is going to get to name at least 3 nominees (RBG is probably going to croak, and Stevens wants to retire). Assuming Obama doesn’t just name a nominee regardless, if it’s Trump (Which I wouldn’t put past him, and wouldn’t blame)

        5. thejeff

          Of course, one of the largest reasons for the executive seizing more power is exactly what you describe: Congress won’t do anything and someone has to.

        6. Lailah

          That’s part of it, but pushing through an emergency budget to make there BE a budget, isn’t exactly the same as the growing monitoring and enforcement power – neither of which has a whole lot to do with congress and its deadlocking.

        7. Fart Captor

          Even the friggin’ the Department of Fish and Wildlife would be vaguely terrifying in his tiny hands.

        8. Orion Fury

          Alright, time for a deep and meaningful scathing commentary on the current social-economic ah screw it.

        9. Idontcarenomore

          What do you mean your vote was CULLED.
          Get an absentee ballot.

        10. DinaWho

          Probably means their name got stricken from the rolls.

        11. Dr. T

          Adam said he lives in MA, so I wonder if he was named after a relative that died and the election board keeps confusing him for the other. If he lived in a state ran by Republicans, then all it takes to get stricken from the rolls is to have the following:

          A) a black or latino sounding name
          B) share the same first and last name with anyone else that fits that description in any other state that the GOP runs (different middle names and SSN# are ignored, so even if it should be easy to tell the two apart, the whole point is to purge minority voters off of as many voter rolls as possible)
          C) lack the resources or time necessary to fight to get your right back

          For example, if there is a Manuel Hector Hernandez (SSN# 111-11-1111) in Louisiana, a Manuel Francis Hernandez (SSN# 222-22-2222) in Indiana, a Manuel Jaime Hernandez (SSN# 333-33-3333) in Michigan, and a Manuel Jorge Hernandez (SSN# 444-44-4444) in Texas, they would all get stricken from the rolls of their own states because “there is evidence that they are all the same person”. If they were honestly interested in ensuring that they were not a single person registered in multiple states, it would be very easy to determine that they were 4 different people, but that is not what they are interested in.

        12. DougDanger

          Her term isn’t up yet. She’ll be up again in 2018.

        13. butts

          This.

      2. BBCC

        I’m Canadian, so I can’t, but I’ll be wishing super hard you guys don’t vote for that tiny handed racist pile of jack-o-mole.

      3. AeromechanicalAce

        Voting for the right politician doesn’t secure basic human rights. You always gotta be willing to go out and raise hell for those. Otherwise, no matter who you vote for, they’ll get taken anyway.

        America needs to re-learn that.

        1. LovelyMonsters

          No, but voting for a politician who only wants to take away a few is pretty important when the alternative is a an insane racist spittle-emitting dictator obsessed with taking away all of them.

          And “America needs to re-learn that” is insulting. Huge, huge portions of Americans already know: disabled Americans, LGBTQ Americans, poor Americans, female Americans, and all Americans who aren’t white don’t need to re-learn a damned thing.

          Or were you not thinking of us when you said “America”?

        2. Lailah

          Oh my /jesus/. No, white, straight men maybe. But holy shit, if you think people aren’t raising hell you aren’t paying attention (Christ, we got chased off with military-grade riot gear, what do you /want/?)

          Voting for the people who are actively trying to enshrine your rights is a pretty god damn good start. And that actually has been a big part of Clinton’s platform, for multiple iterations of ‘your’.

        3. Idontcarenomore

          YES!

        4. Regalli

          Seriously. I voted for the woman who not only DOESN’T mock the disabled but actively has gone out of her way to consider us a voting bloc, and therefore by extension an actual group of human beings, worth paying attention to. I voted for the woman who’s not about to go to court on charges of raping a teenager, and also doesn’t have multiple allegations of sexual assault and a tape straight-up confessing to it swirling around. I voted for the woman who’s going to put someone on the Supreme Court who will actually at a bare minimum know the law or have a paralegal look over their frothing threats. (Protip: SHEPARDIZE YOU FUCKING CREEPSTAINS.) Much less, you know, actually uphold and further our rights. Don’t fucking forget the Supreme Court, people. We owe them multitudes.

      4. Lailah

        “We don’t allow early voting in my state”

      5. Charlie Spencer

        As to your ‘procrastinators’ accusation, remember that early voting isn’t an option in some states.

        1. Ana Chronistic

          hence the “who can”

      6. Foxhack

        I’m half-American, but most of the shit Bigoted Orange is peddling affects me directly, so I’m scared as hell he’ll win. 🙁

        1. Lailah

          It affects… well, at a bare minimum, europe. Even without his actual foreign policy (which is, variously, ‘idgaf’, ‘I like money going into my pocket’, and ‘Russia’s cool’), the simple fact is, if Trump does not lose by a notable margin (which, frankly, he probably won’t), it’ll empower racists there – all the moreso if he actually WINS. This is a problem for me and my in-laws. It’s also a problem for a lot of other people. Europe’s race-relations aren’t the same as America’s, but it’s not because everything is hunky dory (see: France, Britain)

          It’ll hurt the global economy, since he’s basically sworn to destabilize it (remember what happened in Brexit? That, but moreso. And to counter the obvious, ‘doesn’t that just affect rich people? I don’t have stocks’, the answer is no. The rich socialize their losses, whether officially or unofficially. Just because you get nothing out of a rising tide doesn’t mean you will weather a loss happily)

      7. Smiling Cat

        Voted as soon as I got my ballot. I now growl into the phone when campaign people call me.

      8. ety

        Yep, I voted some time ago.

      9. Rukduk

        I’m voting on Tuesday because I live right next to the local polling place and routinely leave my house at 6AM during the week. Still expecting a long line. Mainly because I live in California and Proposition 61 has for the past couple of months gotten as much attention and been as hotly debated as the presidential election. I also have the ubiquitous honor of living in a redneck red district in the middle of a blue state.

    4. TheAnonymousGuy

      why the long face roz?

  2. butts

    man, robin wants leslie so bad her hand’s reaching for her chest across the panel divider

    1. factorsofx

      Willis is teasing us

  3. Mr. Mendo

    Oh, that look on Leslie’s face! ^_^

    1. Deanatay

      “I… I can haz slutty librarian plz? NAO PLZ??”

  4. Fauna Sarcastic

    What about “Slutty Highly Patriotic Cowgirl Librarian?”

    1. Reltzik

      “I don’t do nuance.”

  5. Reltzik

    “S-s-slutty libr-rarian p-please…” *Leslie brainmelts*

    1. jeffepp

      That would be the one.

    2. The Other Mike

      Well, she already has the glasses on. All she’d really need to do would be to loosen some buttons, hike her skirt up, and let her hair down. Maybe make some “checking out” puns.

  6. Stephen R. Bierce

    *follows up “Private Eyes” with “Maneater”*

    1. Lailah

      Oh hey, I actually know that song!

      It was in MGS V.

    2. Joe Archer

      Hall & Oates rather than Furtado?

  7. Archivist

    Leslie immediately requests slutty librarian.

  8. Marvelman

    Reminds me of “Chillary Clinton.” This strip captures just how stupid politicians think millennials are.

    1. butts

      shut your mouth, chillary clinton is fucking hilarious

      (The ‘abuela’ thing, on the other hand…)

      1. Stu

        Not to mention the new levels of awkward reached when Mary J. Blige sang to her during that interview.

  9. Not a Bumblebee

    How did robin even get this far in the running, I’m honestly impressed

    1. Itama

      given the current political situation, are you honestly surprised? 😛
      it almost seems like willis was trying to warn us.

      1. Emily

        Considering she’s not a rich white man and thus not largely exempt from the consequences of her actions, yes.

        1. Gigafreak

          Well, I mean, the opposite party is backing the woman instead of a white man IRL. So it is a thing that can happen. I’ll give you that it is indeed surprising in Robin’s case.

    2. Fart Captor

      -_-

    3. Reltzik

      Style over substance plus party affiliation plus the incumbent advantage (which is much huger for Congress than for the presidency).

    4. jeffepp

      Slutty Librarian. That’s how.

    5. Joe Archer

      The old adage “you should have seen the other side”.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        The other side must be on fire!

        No, literally, get the marshmallows and let’s find this “other side.”

  10. shadowcell

    congressional aide’s name should’ve been aiden

  11. Speedball

    This continuity’s Robin is really disturbing.

  12. AnvilPro

    Leslie picks the former, I’m kind of interested in the latter though

  13. Kernanator

    Lucky. The only myselves I’ve got are “Quiet Snarker” and “Hyperactive Idiot with Poor Decision-Making Skills”

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      I have those. Also the slightly more rare “Hyperactive Snarker Who Proves They’re Right With a Loophole, but Then Immediately Logics Themselves Out of the Loophole Even Though Nobody Else Was Arguing.”

      It’s like I get so snarky that if somebody doesn’t snark back, I’ll do it myself.

  14. Tacos

    You just know Leslie would request “slutty librarian”.

  15. Lipke the Articulate

    Insert obligatory “Leslie picks slutty librarian” joke here.

  16. buddy

    in a rebuttal to the sexy librarian comments, leslie requests hyperpatriotic cowboy and then asks to be desanto’s horse

  17. chris73

    I just can’t get how someone as smart and capable as Leslie can also be as besotted with someone like Robin

    1. Spencer

      #desantohugehonkers

    2. caesaria82

      Love is blind, folks.

      1. chris73

        Is this love or lust?

        1. Cerberus

          Lust is blind?

        2. chris73

          Oh absolutely, I think its easier to have sexy times with someone you find repugnant then it is to fall in love with them

          I mean for me theres no way I could separate Robins obvious charms with her politics

        3. Fart Captor

          Nah, lust is deaf. If it were blind, Leslie wouldn’t be in this mess

      2. SgtWadeyWilson

        *Steals the comma and replaces the “k” with the fourth letter in the alphabet.*

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      To quote Bill S:

      “Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
      Love can transpose to form and dignity.
      Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.
      And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
      Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment taste—
      Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.
      And therefore is Love said to be a child,
      Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.”

      In other words, when the lightning bolt strikes, whatcha gonna do?

      1. Cerberus

        Pretty much that, plus also Leslie is besmitten with all the drive and ambition and so on that lead Robin to being a congresswoman so young even though her politics terrify and anger her.

  18. TSB

    Is “teach”/”teacher” a regionalism? I know Robin is being disrespectful/overly casual here, but I remember Dorothy has addressed Leslie as “teacher”. I grew up/attended undergrad on the east coast and I would only ever address college professors as Professor Lastname, Dr. Lastname, or Professor; I don’t recall seeing anyone else break that pattern. (Now I’m a grad student and it’s all first names all the time…)

    1. Dana

      Seems to me “teacher” is a stupid freshman thing.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, I see that as a holdover from how the kids are used to addressing high school teachers and that Leslie is one of those “cool” college profs that doesn’t hold much sway with demanding the doctor or professor in front of her name so pretty much lets the kids call her whatever they want so long as it isn’t going to harm one of her students.

    2. My1DigitIQ

      In Hawai’i we usually call most teachers/professors simply Mr/Miss unless they specifically ask not to be called that way. It is not considered disrespectful, although I could see it as being overly familiar.

    3. Deanatay

      ‘Teach’ is extremely informal slang, and kinda dated, to boot. It’s the kind of thing an out-of-touch politician might say because they think today’s kids might be ‘hip’ to it.

    4. Dr. T

      I had a hard time letting go of calling faculty members “Dr. So-and-so” as a grad student. Granted, not too many of them actually requested I refer to them by their first names, so that was not too awkward.

      Regarding Leslie, I don’t recall Willis giving enough background to know her specific status. If she is a full time faculty member, then IU requires a doctorate degree. I have, however, taught classes at IU without one. I did my graduate work there and have taught many classes as an AI (I also returned for a couple of semesters as a visiting instructor after getting my degree).

      Granted, many classes the AI’s have gigs similar to Jason’s and Penny’s, where they are the buffer between the faculty member (Dr. Rees) and the students (as well as grading monkeys for the instructors).

      Other times, however, I was the only instructor the students actually saw with any regularity (and in some classes, the only one period). In those instances, the faculty member lays out the general layout of the class as well as designs the exams, but it was up to me to devise the weekly class plans as well as doing all of the grading. It is entirely possible that Leslie is in this sort of situation, in which case calling her “Dr.” would be inappropriate.

      Granted, Leslie does not seem to be the type that would care how you addressed her, so this is kind of a moot point.

  19. Raen

    …if that aide thinks she’s pandering in the second panel, that aide must be new.

  20. sun tzu

    For crap’s sake, Leslie… your taste in women is TERRIBLE. You deserve better than THIS.

    1. tim gueguen

      Especially since any relationship with Robin would probably have to be a hidden one, since she wouldn’t want to alienate her homophobic supporters.

    2. chris73

      Absolutely

    3. Lailah

      This verse’s Robin has been a pretty terrible person, yeah. Not that Walkyverse’s was great shakes, but.

    4. Cerberus

      Well, part of the problem might be that she’s an out college professor in the middle of Indiana, where there’s not as much of a queer scene as other places (like, there’s going to be one, but any queer spaces around Bloomington are too likely to contain her students or folks way too much younger than her which would be ick all around).

      So it might be similar to a Daisy problem where she’s thirsty in the desert, so this crush is being treated like the only oasis around.

      1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

        I’m honestly not over sympathetic to that; I’ve been a pretransition bidyke for more than 2 years now and while I’m suffering from severe sexual frustration I still would have higher standards.

      2. Dr. T

        Daisy has not reason to be starving for love at IU. Bloomington is one of those few places in this hick state that tries to embrace the LGBTQ community. Hell, once a year they even close a few streets to have a LGBTQ festival downtown. A sizable portion of the high school population wears pride flag wristbands in solidarity with the LGBTQ community, including my son (though we have a personal stake in supporting the community because my youngest is a transgendered boy).

        As a result of this acceptance, I have seen many same sex couples who don’t feel the need to hide their relationship when they out in public in B-town, which is definitely not the case throughout most of the state. Daisy should not have trouble locating other lesbians in town as they don’t have as many reasons to hide, though I suppose that probably isn’t Daisy’s actual problem.

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Which (A) implies that there’s a reason why no-one’s dating Daisy and (b) makes Leslie’s lust all the more shameful.

        2. Tadpole7

          It’s not shameful to lust after someone. It’s just a combination of what attracts you to someone on a physical level. One likes what one likes. Very smart people with solid foundations have often fallen for people that aren’t good for them.

          Also Leslie is still growing as a person (which is true at any age) and I think she doesn’t have much experience on the romance side of things. She didn’t come out until years after she was married. With the family turbulence and the need to become fiscally stable this might be first time shes “actively” pursued someone that she lusts after. There’s stuff she’s doing in this pursuit that makes me think this.

          Also Daisy is Joe, inappropriate remarks and constant obvious sexulization of other women plus a dollop of desperation for good measure. I’m damn certain she’s known on the scene and not in a good way.

        3. BBCC

          It’s also possible Daisy and Leslie simply don’t know where to find the local community. Either that, or they didn’t enjoy it there.

          Daisy’s inappropriateness has been chalked up in the past to it being a long time since she’s had anybody. If she was on the scene, that’d make it much easier and she’s probably have a much easier time keeping it professional.

          As for Leslie, lust/attraction is one thing, acting on it is another, and acting on it plus enabling bad behaviour/beliefs/qualities is a whole other breed of cow.

        4. Tadpole7

          I can see them not enjoying the scene and avoiding it. But with Daisy, I had a coworker like that and it made things very uncomfortable especially for some of our younger coworkers. (everyone was 18+). Several us older employees kept a lid on him while he worked for us. The thing was a lot of how he reacted and said things echo how Daisy has reacts for me. She’s a milder case but it something that needs to nipped in the bud especially considering her position.

  21. tim gueguen

    I suspect no one is going to mistaken Robin for a librarian, slutty or otherwise. I assume the only books she’s read are stuff like The One Minute Sales Person.

  22. Bicycle Bill

    Excuse me?  Did Donald Trump get a sex change?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Where’s the brain bleach when you need it?

    2. Fart Captor

      Donald trump is not nearly that coherent. Nor can he go for that many sentences without saying something racist.

      1. Chief_of_Staves

        Rebuttal: He can, but only if he packs in the sexist. And only then if his target is white and otherwise presents as neurotypical. Include any hint of any minority, and the deal is off. Never mind that his skin tone seems to be “cheez doodle with cheese whiz topping.”

        1. insomniac

          “Cheeto-American.”

    3. Dean

      Now I’m thinking about sexy librarian Donald Trump. What’s wrong with me?

      1. Lipke the Articulate

        I CAN’T UNTHINK IT DAMN YOU

        1. Tenn

          I can’t even think it, which I’m eternally grateful for.

      2. Foxhack

        So basically Ma Fratelli with an orange wig?

      3. The Other Mike

        That’s not possible. “Sexy Donald Trump” is a contradiction in terms.

        1. dejadrew

          And yet I bet the halloween costume already exists…

        2. dejadrew

          Why did I google. WHY DID I GOOGLE.

          http://www.yandy.com/Donna-T.-Rumpshaker-Costume.php

        3. Joe Archer

          Turning masochism into sadism?

        4. Wizard

          Sometimes, the only way to survive a traumatic experience is to share the trauma. I didn’t actually click the link, but I’m guessing the trauma quotient is through the roof. (Which is why I didn’t click. I sometimes learn a little slowly, but I do learn eventually.)

        5. Foxhack

          Apparently you also get free panties when ordering a costume.

          Uh, okay.

  23. DarkoNeko

    After a while you forget what the real you is.

    Kinda reminds me of that gal in Kokoro Connect.

    1. ety

      See that’s on my “to watch” list and I’ve been debating whether or not I really want to… I’m not so sure I do, despite the fact that I think it’d probably be decent.

  24. Tomas

    I love the body language duet between Leslie in panel one and Robin in panel two.

  25. 6Qubed

    panel two is Leslie’s “I HAVE ERRED” face

    1. Joe Archer

      Or maybe “this needs more work than I anticipated…” wishing that Lillian and Holtzmann would speak up louder.

      Kyle, on the other hand, just wears his face of prolonged suffering.

  26. Tomas

    To this day, every time I see the word, “cowboy”, I hear it being spoken by the late Alan Rickman.

    “Do you really think you stand a chance against us, Ms. Cowboy?”

    1. jeffepp

      “I never said I wasn’t any good with pistols. I said I didn’t have much use for them.”

  27. Dana

    Slutty librarian you say? Why that’s my favorite kind of librarian!

  28. A Scientist

    Hyperpatriotic cowboy is a conservative institution.

    Props for mastering a classic.

  29. motorfirebox

    I’m gonna order off-menu and vote for Slutty Hyperchondriac Cowboy.

    “Well goldurn, seems I jest dropped mah sixgun. Guess I’ll have t’bend m’self over right in front’a yew an’ pick—OH SWEET MARY MARMALADE I JEST STUBBED M’TOE, CALL NINE NINE ONE ‘FORE IT GETS THE GANGREEN!”

    1. Bagge

      Sexy gangreen (soon as Halloween costume)!

  30. Catty

    She’s being very candid about being very not candid.
    I’m not sure she’s quite got the hang of the politicianin’ caper.

    1. Bagge

      She’s telling it like it really is.

  31. caesaria82

    Ok but how about slutty cowboy? Because I would be into that….

    I may have been watching too much Westworld.

  32. CC

    I just realized: There’s no way Robin’s not going to tip her hand about her party’s positions. They’re horrible, horrible positions in her party. And got-a-gun-waved-at-her-also-her-gay-best-friend-is-homeless Joyce is not only present, but pre-angered via Joe.

    This is going to go sideways fast

    1. CC

      *The horrible, horrible positions in her party.

      It’s late and I’m doing nano this year, I’m fried.

      1. ety

        Good luck with nano!

      2. Gigafreak

        Leslie would probably like to show Robin some… other positions.

        “I call this one the Gun Control Stance because we bang.”

        1. Scar Man!!!

          wouldn’t that be the Gun Rights Stance?

    2. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Called it yesterday – the only question is how bad it’s gonna be, and whether Leslie is going to (deservedly) get it in the neck or not in the rant.

  33. JessWitt

    Who IS the real Robin DeSanto?

    1. Joe Archer

      #CongressionalRepresentantRobinDeSantoBigHonkersEndlessHashtags

  34. Kay

    Plz stop saying my name while being so horrible, Robin…. (Also, plz get together with Leslie, Robin. ;; I sincerely think your love for her is the best part of you in any universe, and I might not be able to stand you without it. >,> )

    1. trlkly

      Kay.

  35. Orion Fury

    Too many jokes, too tired to make them properly coherent. Granted, it’s not like that’s stopped me in the past…

  36. Lailah

    Dank phresh congressional beats is some sort of perfect storm of trying to pander and failing miserably. It’s almost beautiful.

    1. insomniac

      Totally radical!

      1. Orion Fury

        Reaganomics!

        1. Lailah

          Huh. It wasn’t just me thinking that.

        2. Orion Fury

          Glad it wasn’t just me.

  37. AgentKeen

    Hyperpatriotic Cowboy in the streets.
    Slutty Librarian in the Sheets.

  38. MatsuoTanuki

    I got nothing for this… fellow Dumbing-of-Agers, give a fitting song to play for this strip!

    1. Joe Archer

      I can see Robin playing Queen – Princes of the Universe.

      Or maybe Also Sprach Zarathustra, especially with the lack of high points after the initial crescendo.

      1. MatsuoTanuki

        Thank you!

        I am immortal!
        I have inside me blood of kings! (Yeah! Yeeaah!)
        I have no rival!
        No man can be my equal!
        Take me to the future of you aaaaall!

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Given her voter base, if Robin hooks up with Leslie she’ll be Waitin’ For The Hammer To Fall.

  39. Regalli

    Leslie… honey, I love you dearly and I hope you find happiness and in one universe this was my OTP, but darling, I just don’t think it’s worth it in this one.

    Dumbingverse Robin, if you’ve actually got a soul in there now would be a REALLY GOOD TIME to show us.

    1. BenRG

      In most worlds, soul and real honesty are the first things that you need to give up in the pursuit of political power.

  40. Idontcarenomore

    Only reason I can think of for Leslie being so totally besotted with Robin (as she is in every universe) has gotta be the body, sure isn’t the common sense.

    1. Bagge

      Robin is confident, ambitious, funny, smart (and yes, sexy).

      In a world where Leslie fight every day for the right to exist, and where she every day teach the myriad ways women are being marginalized, Robin is a shining example that it doesn’t HAVE to be that way, in some aspects most likely an example of the woman Leslie wishes SHE was.

      They also happen to have great personal chemistry and… moments like these
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/district/
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/hmmm/

      SHE ALSO runs on a horrible platform, pandering for horrible people, but it’s not like Leslie’s attraction to Robin is a great mystery.

      1. Emily

        It’s pretty bizarre considering Robin is part of the reason people like Leslie fight every day for our right to exist. At this point I’ve concluded she has the moral backbone of a sponge cake.

        1. Arianod

          Well, Shortpacked! Leslie did take a buttload of crap from Robin before she went and stood up for herself. So yeah, I’d say this is in character for her.

        2. Lailah

          It’s not a lack of moral backbone, it’s lust and intersectionality causing her to err on the self-harming side.

        3. Cerberus

          Lailah- That’s an interesting factor of this. Like, Fart Captor is 100% right on what Leslie is seeing in Robin and why she’s smitten with her and a lot of those are what she stated outright in the Walkyverse when people were wondering why she bothered to be in love with someone who at the time was so openly disrespectful of that attraction and showed no signs of sharing it.

          But yeah, it’s also an act of self-harm to a degree and that’s something that came up in the other universe where Leslie ended up walking when certain things were more than she could stand in the status quo. And in the end it turned out well, her holding on to that hope even though at times it felt toxic and self-injuring to do so ended up working out great for all parties.

          And I suspect in this universe, she’s going to learn the exact opposite lesson. That pining after and trying to be in the life of someone toxic and dismissive is just going to lead her to getting more and more involved in things that are harmful for her (like going to the rally of people who hate people like her just to see Robin’s face) without a reward other than the opportunity to be used by Roz to try and sink her sister’s campaign once and for all and regain her life back.

        4. Fart Captor

          I totally am right, but I think you’ve gotten your Beckys confused.

          I also agree with Bagge, though.

        5. Bagge

          You totally ARE right.

          And there are no such things as too many Beckys.

        6. Bagge

          Interesting cross-universal analysis, Cerberus, and I fear you are right. Leslie might not be as lucky in this universe as that other one.

        7. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Frankly, if I was running the campus LGBT group and found out she was dating that scum, I’d toss her out on her ass on the spot. Emotional support is a privilege, not a right and if I found out someone was horizontally collaborating with one of the folks shitting on us, it would be rapidly revoked.

        8. Dalrint

          “We are here for you as long as we approve of the choices you make” sounds like a really flimsy basis for a support group.

        9. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Every group and relationship ultimately practices that – if you act against the interests of a group or relationship, expect at best recrimination.

        10. JBento

          “We are here for you as long as the choices you make don’t jeopardise and endanger waht this group is about,” however, sounds like a really sturdy one. The person bringing a six-pack of beer to AA is a danger.

        11. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Exactly that, and it would be pretty white upper class privilege to let it go on as well – “sure, go on, fuck the rub – you’re a white cis teacher who’s got yours now”; how the fuck are the more marginalized members of the group to take that? Letting her stick around would be spitting in their faces, and would undermine the emotional support the group would be offering them – it’s the kind of thing I’d expect from the white cisgayz, but I sure as shit am gonna be better than that lot.

        12. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Repub. Bleh. Her relationship with this fuck is pure privilege.

        13. Cerberus

          That whole “group as safe space” thing is why when I was running the trans and ace groups at a college for awhile, we did a thing where 3 days out of the month, we had closed meetings that were only allowed to people who had X identity or were questioning that they had X identity, and once a month we had an open meeting that was open to allies, partners, and friends, because so often those couldn’t be trusted not to be shitty to folks*.

          *Still remember the one time at an ace group where a fucker brought in tried to derail the meeting on to her chosen topic of ace people having ace privilege, because in her fevered imagination, ace people are never sexually harassed.

          And yeah, had to have a real heart-to-heart with one student once who was truscum and when they came to the meeting, started picking a fight with all the non-binary kids and I had to pull them aside and say, hey, if this is going to be a safe space for you, you’re going to have to not make it an unsafe space for our non-binary students. If that’s unacceptable to you and you’re unwilling to keep your views about nb students to yourself, then we can’t be that space for you. She ended up deciding to move on, unfortunately.

        14. JBento

          And now I’ve google truscum. Whee, new word.

          …

          Is it wrong of me to be disappointed that it isn’t a commercial product? “Do you feel you’re not shitty enough to blend in with people around you? Have no worries! Two spoons of TruScum(TM) a day and you’ll fit right in! TruScum! When you’re not shitty enough naturally!”

        15. foamy

          Because trying to dictate who people are romantically involved with is not a thing that is at all bad. Jesus.

  41. Dariu55

    Leslie wants the librarian. Then the Hyperpatriotic cowGIRL.

    1. Gigafreak

      So she can get the cowgirl to reverse her stance?

  42. Rukduk

    The “slutty librarian” doesn’t happen to work at a privately owned collection of highly restricted interdimensional magic in Nepal does she?
    (Sorry, just got back from watching Doctor Strange. Great movie. 9 out of 10. Go see it.)

    1. Lipke the Articulate

      OH SHIT THAT’S OUT ISN’T IT
      Welp I know what I’m doing at an undefined point in the near future

      1. JBento

        Do eeeeeeet. I watched it about a week and a half ago, and it’s magnificent. It’s one of Marvel’s best productions, on par with Guardians and Winter Soldier, a bit under Civil War.

        You’re not in for much surprising, especially if you’re a comic reader (though I didn’t see Strange’s winning move coming; it’s cunning in its conception and hilarious in its execution), but it’s wildly entertaining.

        The movie’s biggest win, for me, is its visuals: I swear Marvel stole Escher’s corpse, pumped it with enough LSD to raise it from the dead, and set him to work. If you’re comfortable with watching 3D, I highly recommend it – I’m not, and this is the first movie that’s made me sad about it.

        1. Deanatay

          One of the things I loved most about the movie was its climax – it is so quintessentially Doctor Strange. Using clever tricks to get the jump on beings that WAAAY outclass him in terms of sheer power is EXACTLY how I’d expect the comic-book Doctor to solve problems. Marvel stuck the storytelling, in this one.

        2. Lipke the Articulate

          ;u;
          On par with Guardians and Winter Soldier? Now I’ve REALLY gotta see it.

    2. Fart Captor

      It was pretty great, especially the visuals. Definitely one of their better efforts.

    3. Heavensrun

      Unless that’s a commentary on Steven/Wong subtext, I think you’re stretching for the joke.

  43. Heather

    Roz: /Internally screaming/

  44. Bagge

    I really like the casual conversation between Leslie and Robin. You asked for the real deSanto, Leslie, and I’m pretty sure the one who answered you was it. There sure is chemistry there!

  45. BenRG

    There you have Robin’s problem summed up in one strip. She’s become the sort of politician who, whenever she is seen, presents herself as the sort of person to whom her audience would likely respond well. She never appears as herself to the point where she probably doesn’t even know what that is anymore. She’s a walking, talking pretence.

    Maybe, if she tried to find Robin deSanto again, she’d need fewer policy advisers and would have an easier time being re-elected!

    1. CJ

      Dunno. Having a consistent pov and not telling people the unrealistic stuff they want to hear doesn’t seem to work well as a platform,

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Candidate: So, yeah. We’ve got these four years planned as best we can, and my voting history and views are lined out on this board here, nice and simple.

        Crowd: Huh?

        Candidate: Vending machines in every hallway, and no more uniforms!

        Crowd: Woohoo! Yeah!

        Candidate:(Whispers) Why did I run again?

        Aide:(Whispers) I… I think we believed in… this? *Gestures at board.*

    2. StClair

      Occupational hazard for politicians, intelligence agents, and actors.

      “There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me, but I had it surgically removed.” – Peter Sellers

      1. Emperor Norton

        From his famous special guest spot in The Muppet Show.

        The sad part is that he really meant it too. In serious interviews, he would state that he had no feelings of a self anymore.

  46. John

    LESLIE: “Hyperactive kinda indefinably queer toy store employee?”

    ROBIN: “Aw, c’mon, we’ve done that one.”

    LESLIE: “Well, I did that one.”

    1. Arianod

      …aaaaand you win the Internet! :DDDD *Claps. Loudly*

  47. Keulan

    “Slutty librarian” or “hyperpatriotic cowboy”? Why not both? Not sure how Robin would do both at the same time, but I want to see that.

    1. Makkabee

      After a long hard day o’ wranglin’ books — AMERICAN books, written in American English (none o’ them superfluous U’s the Canadians hanker for) — there’s nothin’ I like better than a nice relaxin’ orgy. But with ball gags. Cuz we’re in a library, and rules are rules, padner.

  48. jeffepp

    Meanwhile, Joe and Joyce are having makeup sexts in the back.

  49. Lulu

    I vote for hyperpatriotic slutty cowboy mix.

  50. Arianod

    *Raises finger* Slutty librarian pls.

  51. Ryek Hvek

    Thank you for watching Leave it to Cleavage – be here next week for another exciting episode, where we’ll hear June say “Ward, I’m worried about the Beavage.”

    1. Lailah

      I’m a little disappointed that wasn’t “Ward, I’m worried about my little Beaver.”

      1. Ryek Hvek

        that’s the Slipshine version

  52. Makkabee

    Leslie’s thought balloon: You had me at “slutty.”

  53. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    I hope on the way in Riley got dropped off at Cereal Paradise.

  54. Eldritch Gentleman

    I know she is pretty and all… but I really don’t know why would Leslie want to tap that…

    1. BenRG

      Sometimes being beautiful, exotic and successful is enough!

      1. JBento

        And sometimes, the awfulness is so much that it’s a boner killer.

        1. Cerberus

          I think one of Leslie’s flaws is that she doesn’t have the self-regard or self-confidence to let the awfulness of someone on a personal level override what they represent in accomplishments and regard as far as her infatuations are concerned.

    2. John

      Leslie’s heroic flaw is her terrible taste in women.

  55. Yarrr

    I honestly believe this is one of the best DoA strips. Can’t exactly pin down why but it feels like a joke that’s been building for years.

  56. Charles Phipps

    Part of why I always had a bit of an issue with Amber and Mike is the whole Bella/Edward thing they explictly parodied at one point. The idea that the person underneath the nasty troubling exterior is actually a good one–which we’re inclined to believe because we know alternate-Robin.

    But is Alternate Robin necessarily that way or is she the Crime Syndicate goatee Robin?

    Also, we don’t know how bad Robin really is. All she’s campaigned against so far is underage sex videos involving her sister.

    1. Makkabee

      Underage sex videos? Most college freshmen are 18. Was there ever a strip or a word of god post that said our resident sexual crusader is younger than that?

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        I skipped 9th grade and went to college when I was 17. I wasn’t 18 until the following spring. I had enough extra credits that I could have taken 12th grade English in summer school, gotten my diploma and gone to college when I was 16, but I chose not to.

        That said, I really don’t find it plausible that Roz would be irresponsible enough to post a video if she or Joe were under 18. Roz is all about knowing about sex and being ethical and responsible about it.

      2. JBento

        Considering that the Dean wanted the videos to stop and he used “you’re doing it on school property” instead of “underage porn,” I think it’s safe to say that Roz is of legal age.

        Funnily enough, Roz might have still fucked (ahah) up on that, because while she got Joe’s consent to MAKE the tape, he didn’t consent to its RELEASE.

        1. BBCC

          Yes, he did. Dorothy explicitly asked him ‘Did she tell you she was going to upload it to the internet?” and he said ‘Heck yeah! If you meet a girl who wants to friggin’ make a sex tape, you jump that no matter what.”

        2. JBento

          Blast, that’s what I get for working from memory. I stand corrected and thankful.

        3. BBCC

          No worries, I’m just trying to kill that obnoxious misinformation in its cradle before it becomes a regular thing in the comments again.

        4. Fart Captor

          Oh my fucking god do not start this bullshit back up again. He explicitly consent to both it being recorded and put online:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/interview-2/

        5. JBento

          I concede, I concede. No more. 8)

        6. BBCC

          Not only did he consent, he was so okay with it he asked Roz for ‘another go around’ that night.

        7. Emperor Norton

          This is the same Joe that a few strips earlier was hiding in his room to avoid being hounded by media. It’s only when he thought of how he could work it to his advantage that he tried to retroactively consent to having been made a political target. Until then, he was distressed by what was going on.

          And even then, you are really missing the point: Roz obviously did not tell him the entire truth about her goal. She did not mention that there was a significant chance of this being picked up by the media. Joe would not have gone into hiding if he’d known that.

          As such, that was not fully informed consent. Just because he eventually managed to work it out to his advantage doesn’t make it right.

        8. JBento

          That’s on Joe, though. Seeing as he consented to the tape being made and published, the only disclosure that Roz “failed” to do was that she was the sister of the congresswoman. Except she didn’t fail, because it wasn’t something she had any obligation (including moral) to do.

          Saying you didn’t want so much exposure after having consenting to have your sex tape uploaded to the internet is a Skynet-crashing logic fail.

        9. Fart Captor

          Joe was hiding only because Danny convinced him he was a target and should panic, and even then it was pretty brief. And the only reason he ever was is because Dorothy recognized him.

          Unless it was on Slipshine, we’ve never seen how that conversation between Roz and Joe played out, so the only things we know about it are what came up because Dorothy specifically asked.

          As such, we have no reason to assume Roz didn’t at least try to explain what she had planned to use the video. Do you really think Joe would have been paying attention by that point? He would have tuned out and been just saying “Yes” to everything after that like she were the Terms of Service for iTunes.

          It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that she didn’t tell him what she had planned, or told him, but deliberately glossed over it, knowing he wasn’t really listening, but it’s still purely speculation.

          The only supporting evidence for it is Joe panicking slightly when he realized that yes, when a sex tape gets put on the internet, other people are going to see it, and somebody might actually recognize you, so maybe you should use your upper brain for those decisions.

        10. BBCC

          He even explicitly tells Dorothy that DANNY is the one who told him to hide out in his room and not talk to anyone.

    2. Spencer

      Mike/Amber wasn’t a matter of Mike deep down being a good guy; he wasn’t. He was a total asshole who tried to play Amber and then genuinely fell in love with her, and Amber herself was a lot more in tune with her aggression in Shortpacked!.

      1. John

        Amber was not exactly a paragon of virtue in that relationship, either.

    3. JBento

      Though we’ve had no specifics, we DO know that Robin’s platform is, at least a good part, “family values.” From my understanding, this seems to be AmericanSpeak for “the gays are evil abominations.”

      1. Lipke the Articulate

        Eh, it’s AmericanSpeak for “the Bible is right in every way and don’t you dare question it”, which includes “the gays are evil abominations”.

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Also endless misogyny, and racism on the side.

        2. Gesc

          Right in every way.*

          *when convenient

        3. thejeff

          Yeah, there’s a definite undercurrent of “don’t you dare question what we tell you it says”. Even questioning using Biblical arguments gets you in trouble.

          It’s probably what annoys me most about fundamentalists and literalists of all stripes: The complete inability to see that their reading is as much interpretation as anything. You see the same approach in Constitutional literalists as well.

      2. Fart Captor

        True, but her referring to her constituents as hicks makes me think that she’s not fully on board the platform so much as pandering to get elected out of political necessity.

        But is she doing “what she needs to do” to get/stay in office where she can at least make some changes for the better, rather than just serving her own political ambitions?

        I think if it were the former, Roz wouldn’t be making such an effort to get Leslie to talk some sense into her. We don’t yet know anything of the motivation for her political aspirations, or what kind of bills she’s voted for or against, but I suspect that at the moment, she might only be “less awful than if she was a true believer in the entire platform”. Roz seems to think she’s got a good heart, though. I’m hopeful that Leslie’s influence will eventually have the effect that Roz is counting on.

        However, I fully expect the courtship to be some kind of hot mess inside a horrific trainwreck swept up by a drama hurricane.

        I also understand that my optimism/enthusiasm about this is made possible largely by the fact that I’ve never been on the receiving end of the kind of shit flung by the people Robin is pandering to / complicit with.

        1. JBento

          “However, I fully expect the courtship to be some kind of hot mess inside a horrific trainwreck swept up by a drama hurricane.” SyFy is REALLY going crazy on the titles of their disaster movies, huh?

          One would expect a good-intentioned Robin to be running on the Democrat side of things, though. The two predictable ways this can go, as far as I can tell, are:

          1) Leslie gets too squicked by Robin’s lack of morals – the whole thing explodes, pass the popcorn.

          2) Robin changes her platform for Leslie, and she loses her job. Pass the popcorn.

          Either way, the Slipshine subscribers are going to have some fun, so I guess it’s a win no matter what.

          I do wish that we had more concrete information on Robin’s actual policies instead of her campaign words – so far, all we have isssss… Roz? asking Leslie what she thinks of her policies, and Leslie saying she voted for the other guy.

  57. Gesc

    Will the real Robin DeSanto please speak up (please speak up, please speak up)?

  58. Björn

    Hyperpatriotic Cowboy Robin sounds kinda hot.

  59. Sunny

    I’d vote for her if she ran for president and I lived in the USA. Yes, I’d prefer a candidate like her over both Trump and Clinton.

    1. BBCC

      Considering she’s been played as a Trump parody lately, that surprises me. Albeit, considering she’s claiming ‘family values’ that suggests (to me) she’s probably more playing up the homophobic/transphobic aspects than the racism /sexism (though, considering this is family values and that Sal seemed less than impressed by her racial record, I wouldn’t be shocked if she had some of that too).

      1. thejeff

        She started as a Sarah Palin parody, IIRC (or at least her political career did). Given that Trump is basically a male Palin turned up a notch, that makes sense.

        I can’t see why anyone would support her either – other than those who like the “family values” approach. Maybe it’s partly just that we haven’t seen enough of her actual hateful platform?

        1. Charles Phipps

          I have the personal theory that she was a shallow Trump parody when it was just ridiculous he was running and became horrifying when he kept winning.

        2. Fart Captor

          You’re thinking of Trump himself. The man has become too ridiculous to parody.

          Robin (even just in DoA) precedes Trump’s candidacy by a couple years.

        3. BBCC

          She started as Sarah Palin, but for the last little bit she’s been more like a Trump parody (see her “Make District 9 Great Again” hat).

        4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Who will she be a parody of in December? I.E. the mid-2020s.

        5. thejeff

          No one. Because we will have come to our senses in reaction to the Trump candidacy and his unprecedented landslide of a loss and we will have stopped elevating incompetent idiots to power.

          What? It could happen.

        6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          That is over in “Smartening Of Age”.

        7. BBCC

          I’m hoping his historic loss will be a serious wake up call.

  60. Charles Phipps

    Am I alone in wanting Robin to win so she can become a comical antagonist to the group like Cyril Sneer? She can try to destroy the campus and it’s various progressive events every week! 🙂

    1. Charles Phipps

      Also, is it just me or does Leslie have the weird idea Politician Robin has layers? She does, it’s just layers over the emptiness inside. 🙂

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        A mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in an Awesome Rack.

        (Wait … wrong webcomic.)

        1. Scar Man!!!

          I was saying a few days ago that Mary was a good example of someone who’s been playing a role so long that the flesh underneath the mask disappeared, but Robin is a much better example of that

        2. Just A. Thinker

          I think she has dreams of becoming powerful… I don’t think it’s that she’s empty; just that this is the kind of person she is: she’ll do whatever it takes to please people to gain power.

      2. Joe Archer

        You jnow, we all are naked beneath our clothes…

  61. Kingmonster

    Wait…Joel Watson, the figure skater?

    1. David M Willis

      Not unless he needs to tell me some things about his personal life, no.

  62. Pylgrim

    Leslie: Nope, definitely not cowboy. That won’t fly, no. Maybe go with the other one you mentioned? Whatever it was, it’s not like I was super paying attention right then!

  63. John Madden

    Talking in ebonics makes people sound really stupid, not gonna lie. Doesn’t matter who it is.

    1. Fart Captor

      That is in no way what is happening here

    2. Raibean

      Prescriptivism is stupid, not gonna lie. Doesn’t matter who espouses it.

  64. Raibean

    Robin is a lawyer?

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