147

Piece
Posted on December 16, 2010 by David M Willis

147 thoughts on “Piece”

  1. Jen Aside

    AWRIIIIITE

    *boom chicka bow wow*

  2. Jabberwocky

    WHAT A TWEEST

    1. Joebo

      not really…

      though Joe’s (the spell checker thinks “Joe’s” is misspelled?) current reaction to Joyce is rather surprising considering he’s met Joyce and seen and heard, her going “Mrs. Joyce X…”

      1. NF

        He may have been a little distracted checking out Roz at the time.

        1. Joebo

          holy crap, I just went back to that strip… Roz wasn’t in it. But a couple strips prior they look as though they’re giving each other a sidelong glance!!! And we all know what that means.

    2. Zem

      ^My thoughts exactly.

      Will this become a major point where the universes start to diverge? Danny ending up fancying Sarah, Joe grabbing away Joyce, leaving Walky, Billie and Sal all to go separate ways?

      Or will this trail lead nowhere at all and get quickly stomped in the next strip?

      Stay tuned!

      1. Socks

        well if we’re going off the joyce & walky storyline that david left off at, walky will end up with dorothy :O

  3. Ragnal

    “SH_T”

    Yes, I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat?

    1. Rognik

      Ooh, I’m sorry. There are no “o”s in the puzzle.

      1. Cognomen

        SHUT!

        Do I win?

      2. The A.D.D. Kidd

        SHYT!

        AM I THE WINRAR?!?!?!?

        1. The A.D.D. Kidd

          Oh no! Now I’m Billie!

        2. zuche

          I guess that means you didn’t win, then?

          Clearly, the vowel is “w”. And here I thought that only one word in the English language had that as its only vowel.

        3. SteveCharb

          Zuche, is that word “cwm”?

    2. Dedlok

      Shat! Definitely Shat!

      1. Rowen Morland

        Shet.

        Consonant please. I’d like a vowel and I’ll take two more consonants.

        What did I get?

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        “Shat! He’s one bad mother -”

        “Hush yo mouth!”

        “But I was just talking about Shat!”

        “Then we can dig it!”

    3. Socks

      i have stolen your vowels, if you want them back i demand nachitos

  4. Trae Dorn

    Ah Joe… severely misjudging his odds. 😛

    1. zuche

      NEVER tell him the odds!

    2. dchorror

      How often are the odds against him?

      1. Cha

        Well, probability dictated that at SOME point he’d find some girl where the odds weren’t in his favor.

  5. Eri

    This ought to be entertaining.

    1. Eri

      I’d also like to complain about something… Where’s Jason in the poll? D=

      1. Joebo

        He said whilst sporting a fabulously cool bow-tie ala Jason.

  6. TheAlucinaut

    The thought of Joe & Joyce just made me feel very genuinely uncomfortable.

    …like…

    1. Jabberwocky

      Like this has all happened before?

      1. goatman95111

        …and it will happen again. So say we all!

    2. zuche

      …the back of a Volkswagen?

      1. Wackd

        No. More like someplace girls dread.

        1. Pagannerd

          … I spent ages trying to come up with something wity that girls might dread, but all of them were stereotypes that the NerdGirls here would kick my arse for.

          Man, I never thought I’d be annoyed by the breakdown of gender stereotypes…

        2. Wackd

          I’m just going to come out and say it’s the ass. That exchange is a reference to the film “Mallrats”, in which fucking “someplace very uncomfortable” is constantly interpreted by absolutely everyone as “What, like the back of a Volkswagen?”

          So not to worry, because if you HAD come up with something witty, it would’ve killed the joke, much like this explanation is doing…

          Crap.

        3. Pagannerd

          Oh how the all-buggering-hell did I miss the Mallrats reference?

    3. Sporkaganza

      I dunno, I thought that plotline was cute back in It’s Walky.

      I mean, yeah, it was doomed, and totally unhealthy, and a complete mismatch, but cute nonetheless.

  7. JackNapier

    Good luck, Joe…you’re going to need it.

  8. Cha

    I can’t figure out who’s going to regret this most.

    1. zuche

      Their roommates. It’s always the roommates.

    2. JackNapier

      Not us, that’s for sure.

      1. zuche

        None of us! None of us!

  9. Al

    Joyce is Blonde?

    1. Jabberwocky

      Amokey blond, but yes.

      1. bramblepatch

        I totally read that at “monkey blond.”

        1. Jabberwocky

          Stupid A key being next to the S…

        2. zuche

          Monkey not blond! Monkey more tawny.

        3. dchorror

          And yet it still works.

        4. zuche

          You have me there.

        5. LordMelvin

          Blonde monkey get up, get coffee. Blonde monkey go to job. Blonde monkey have boring meeting, with boring manager, Rob.

    2. Trae Dorn

      There are more shades of blonde than just platinum.

    3. agentksilver

      http://www.joyceandwalky.com/d/20080329.html

      1. addude

        so thats how that hair got there

  10. Fissioninferno

    I don’t see how he can be a piece of cake, that doesn’t make any sense.

    1. maggiemarmalade

      A winner is you!!

    2. zuche

      Just walk away when he offers to let you taste the batter or lick the beater or bowl.

      1. Pagannerd

        Or step closer. Whatever floats your boat…

    3. benenator

      The cake is a lie!

      He is a piece of pie, which goes on forever.

  11. MercyDispensorMan

    Must remember this is alternate universe land, Joe and Joyce won’t end up together right? Or what if this is the real universe and “Joyce and Walky” is the alternate universe?! o_o MY BRAIN IS KILLING ITSELF DX

    1. ME

      Well, Joe and Joyce did wind up together in a universe where they both joined SEMME while Walky followed Dorothy to college.

      1. agentksilver

        Gah! More reasons to pay for Joyce and Walky subscriptions.

        1. Eri

          I know right! I was thinking the same thing!

          *starts to look for the money*

  12. Rognik

    So he IS going for Joyce, even knowing what she was writing as they left the class.

    Or maybe he couldn’t read it. Oh, Joe. It was nice knowing you.

    On second thought, maybe Joyce will be the first one to tell him no, which will lead to some interesting plot lines down the road.

    1. Haven

      wonder what the odds are of joe actually being successful.

      1. Shift

        I’m hoping she’ll start talking about getting married, and he’ll run like a bat out of hell.

        1. zuche

          Let him run. He can’t evade the tracking devices planted on him.

    2. R

      Joe is taking Joyce aside to try to sell Danny to her as a love interest. Joe has no interest in someone like her at this time.

      1. Shift

        Why not? She’s a girl in college. I thought all girls were targets for Joe.

        1. Joebo

          yeah, don’t you subscribe to his “Do List”‘s RSS feed?

        2. Undrave

          Willis needs to make that real!

        3. Shift

          Agreed Undrave! Can you make that Willis? Please?

        4. zuche

          “You would prefer another target? A military target?”

          Or would Joe phrase that as a MILFin’ married target? No, probably not. I suspect that would go against his principles here as well.

        5. R

          Why go for a girl who has the same “bad” qualities that your BFF has? It’s not like there’s a shortage of women in college.

        6. Shift

          It’s obvious! Joe is secretly in love with Danny, but afraid to admit it, he finds the female equivalent! And thus begins the “everyone turns gay” aspect of this alternate universe.

    3. bramblepatch

      I suspect that he may be trying to protect Danny – after all, despite his “find him some other romantically codependent doofus” comment yesterday (er, in-comic yesterday, not IRL yesterday), this whole “being Danny’s wingman” thing seems to be an attempt to get Danny back on his feet and not emotionally dependent on a single target. He may want to learn a little more about Joyce before putting himself in a situation where he’d have to pry the two of them apart with a crowbar.

      1. zuche

        I hadn’t considered that. Good points.

      2. Shift

        That seems to give Joe a lot of credit. And I’d almost agree with that, if this wasn’t he man who joined a a Gender Studies class because he probably was hoping to have sex in it.

  13. Joebo

    HARK!!! Joe is wearing his SEMME shirt!

    1. George

      My God! The wall between Universes has been breached! The Cheese isn’t going to be happy about that…

      1. The A.D.D. Kidd

        Wouldn’t be even funnier if The Cheese turned out to be the Dean instead of the previously predicted Galasso?

        1. Undrave

          And nobody comments on it! He’s just ‘Dean Cheese’ and no one seems to find anything odd about it.

        2. The A.D.D. Kidd

          And he constantly keeps making Vagineer-like faces? No? I’m killing it? What’s that? I suck?

    2. Rognik

      There’s a green stripe lying in between the yellows. I think we’re safe. And while on the topic of wardrobe: OMG daily wardrobe changes?

      1. Wackd

        You haven’t been reading Willis’s DOA blog, have you?

  14. Confuzor

    I’m all for the possibility of Joe x Roz. They’ll never leave the bedroom and leave space in the strip for everyone else ^_^

  15. arjay2813

    i get the feeling we’ll be seeing screams of “Premarital Hanky-Panky!!!!” soon

    1. Joebo

      I don’t think that Joe tries to work that fast.

      1. Shift

        It’s Joe. He probably expected to get laid during the Gender Studies Class.

        1. Joebo

          Good point.

        2. Kamino Neko

          How do we know he didn’t? Him and Roz were looking kinda satisfied coming out of the classroom. >_>

        3. Undrave

          Joe and Roz are SEX NINJAS!!

        4. Kamino Neko

          The best KIND of ninjas.

  16. DaniellePhantom

    so is danny’s nervous smile directed at joyce because he likes her, or because joe is embarrassing him?

    1. Joebo

      The second one.

    2. Twib

      I am going to guess so

    3. Ancestral Hamster

      Embarrassed, Danny grins awkwardly. Can’t blame him really.

      I wonder if Sarah has sufficient social graces to move them past this uncomfortable moment, because I’m sure Danny can’t.

    4. Shift

      I think it might be forced politeness. He doesn’t want to be there, but Joe is making him and he doesn’t want to offend the girls by being rude.

    5. Cha

      Yes.

  17. Shift

    Saw it coming.

  18. Dahlia

    Hoo-hah! Glad that worked out not repeating after all o:

    Joe choose Joyce o: Interesting!

    Hmmm, actually, I kinda like Sarah’s attitude ON OCCASION…only because I find its resembling MINE the more I live with my roommates (who do drugs…)

  19. Cope

    ….and all these years, I thought of her as a brunette.

    1. Randonimity

      That was my first thought, too @.@

      1. Trae Dorn

        Have you guys never heard of Ash blond before?

        1. agentksilver

          Yeah, she’s always struck me as a dark blonde rather than a brunette. Danny’s the one with light brown hair.

        2. Randonimity

          We don’t get many blonds in Asia.

        3. Rachel

          No, actually. I always thought her hair was weirdly grey. I looked up the hair color and it still seemed kind of grey to me. I’ve never met anyone under 40 with that hair color.

    2. Sporkaganza

      Damn, me too. MY WHOLE WORLD IS COLLAPSING

  20. DiDi

    Joe is gonna be unpleasantly surprised once he learns that Joyce is the commitment kind of girl. I bet she’s saving herself until marriage.

    He ain’t gettin’ none of that.

    1. Socks

      he could enjoy breaking her of that :O

      1. Pagannerd

        Joyces’ primness is more powerful than Joe could possibly imagine.

        1. Socks

          this is true BUT he was able to break her of it in it’s walky even if it was for a little bit but then again she had a lot more on her plate

  21. JackStamper

    Hm…I heard somewhere, it’s a flirting technique to first hit on the friend of your target…you know, first making her interested in you, and then immediately making her slightly jealous. Maybe he planned that…or he’s just that bad at finding perfect matches.

  22. Zap

    joe her in the butt!

    1. Undrave

      Joe her in the FAAAAAAACE!

      1. Feenyksfyre

        Just be gentle when you Joe her. Remember, she needs her femurs to live.

        …faaaace

  23. ziggy78eog

    Joyce is about to get Joe’ed.

  24. bean

    @David – Your writing and jokes really shine when your characters react to the more insane characters in your vast cast. I am having the most fun in Shortpacked! when Mike, Faz, or Robin are front and center. This Dan fellow’s misogyny is a new flavor of crazy that I find delicious. Thanks for the good stuff!

  25. agentksilver

    Hey guys, why can’t Joe get Joyced? Just sayin’.

    1. Shift

      Because for Joe to get Joyce, a diamond engagement ring will need to be introduced first.

      1. zuche

        For some reason, I imagine Joyce as someone that wouldn’t approve of diamonds.

        1. Shift

          Why not?

        2. agentksilver

          If he gets you diamonds you have to put out, and that’s pre-marital hanky-panky. Pearls and sapphires are pure and innocent! But rubies will send you straight to hell. Emerals only come from Satan. Don’t get me started on Cubic Zirconia.

  26. Ozzmandius

    Love the faces in panel 4.

    And Danny in panel 2 is oddly cute.

  27. Shift

    I just realized that Joe is treating college like a Vegas Brothel. He tosses Danny at Sarah, screams “wear a condom” and runs off with his choice of girl. I thought that line in his bio about “seeing the videos” was a joke, but I really do think Joe expects college to be a like a porno.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Joe’s view of college was probably shaped by movies like “Animal House” and other college comedies, so of course he’s expecting lots of sex. He’s also waiting for “Louie, Louie” to start playing in the background.

  28. MrGBH

    Danny and Sarah are currently bottom of the poll for who we want to see more of.
    So who does Willis begin drawing comics of?

    1. zuche

      It’s not like he scripts these things five minutes before he draws them, two minutes before they go online. If the poll does shift focus, it will happen when he starts scripting newer storylines.

    2. David

      “I have a one-month buffer” doesn’t have any meaning to you, huh?

      1. zuche

        It means you shouldn’t include anything with mayo on the menu?

        Ohhhh, buffer…

        1. Gianni

          Buffer? I hardly know ‘er!

          Sorry, sorry, I know…

        2. Lokitsu

          Buffer this gag gets out of hand…

          Oops too late

  29. Bean

    Oh, Joe. I keep telling you, think with the BIG head…

    1. Cha

      Which one? ;D

  30. Bean

    To paraphrase Robin Williams: It’s sad that god gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

    1. benenator

      Well, we certainly have enough to run one and our mouth at once!

      1. Ristar

        hawt

  31. Robert in San Diego

    Both Sarah and Danny are figuring Joe’s after Joyce. The sheer weird direct approach is what’s giving them pause. They’ll be polite or better to each other in the future only because they’re thinking basically the same thing right now, and know it.

  32. Socks

    @david: i want to draw fanart for you 🙂 any place you’d prefer for me to email or post?

    1. jaredTSF

      What she said, I have a few on my PC somewhere.

  33. Wackd

    Does Danny’s face in panel four make anyone else think of Homestar Runner? Especially the mouth.

    1. Socks

      it didn’t before but now it totally does XD

  34. Cat

    shoved the dumped boy toward the wrong girl there

  35. Yama

    Ok, I wasn’t expecting that.

    1. Zem

      @_@ You may be the only one.

  36. Richie9999

    At first I as like Joe’s getting Danny together with Joyce? Does he not realize that he is flirting with disaster? Then Joe took Joyce and I was all like lulz, he doesn’t know what he’s getting into. But that leaves one question, if Joe is a piece of something what is it? Can’t be shit cause Joe is hooking Danny up.

    Is it Cake?

    1. Alechsa

      That Cake, sir, is a lie.

      Also: Yay! Mike is winning the poll!

  37. jaredTSF

    This has all happened before, and it will happen again. Else the wrath of the readers shall inflict damage on their CAP locks.

  38. Gianni

    Actually, this might work out well. They probably won’t do anything (immediately) but Sarah might be able to snap some sense into Danny and get him motivated for school.

  39. buttsbutts mcgee

    A real piece of ass?

  40. Aisling

    I admit, I thought Danny was going to get pushed on Hi I’m Joyce.

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