134

Plebs
Posted on April 3, 2018 by David M Willis
THE SEVENTH DUMBING OF AGE KICKSTARTER IS GO!  Collecting (obviously) the seventh year of Dumbing of Age, this 228-page book's also got strip commentary and 27 Patreon bonus strips!  Also, hey, as always, character magnet add-ons.  This year we're starting out with Sierra, Amber, and Ukulele Danny!  If/after we hit $50k, everyone who pledges for a paper book gets a Ruth magnet for freeeeeeeee! So, like. Hey.

134 thoughts on “Plebs”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Walky, no more talky

    …

    Kickstarter?? *INSTA-PLEDGE*

    1. Ana Chronistic

      (39 isn’t so bad when you manage to forget that a lot of adults didn’t even exist in the ’90s)

      […]

      {SHIT}

      1. BBCC

        why

      2. Dean

        There are legal adults alive today who have no memories of a US President earlier than Dubya.

        1. Reltzik

          Lies.

          If you were born after 1990, you’re still a kid to me. *shakes cane*

        2. the Nerdytimes

          I was born in ’96.
          Wanna see my beard?
          Or hear who I voted for in the Finnish presidential election?

        3. ninja_jesus

          Psh, everyone knows you can’t be an adult in Finland until you grow fins.

        4. Reltzik

          ……..

          ……. I do NOT want to know about the rite of passage in Lapland.

      3. Needfuldoer

        a href=”https://i.imgur.com/MANFMJX.jpg”>Remember this car? The one that it seemed like everybody’s grandma drove? They haven’t been built for over twenty years.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Dangit.

        2. Miri

          That’s how I drew cars when I was little because that was the shape cars were!!!

        3. Krys Brynhildr

          That looks like the car I drive.

          I got it from my grandma as a hand me down.

      4. Chris Phoenix

        My wife’s high school students are learning about 9/11 in history class.

        1. weirderthanweird

          To be fair, I learned about 9/11 in high school history class in 2008.

        2. Agemegos

          I took my last high school history class in 1981.

        3. DragonTrainer

          I learned about 9/11 just a couple hours before Social Studies class on the day it actually happened. The teacher included it as a discussion for class

          My Social Studies teacher also teaches History, so…

          Totally counts as learning about 9/11 in History class in 2001! ^_^

      5. BBCC

        My boyfriend’s younger brother and sister are 13. They were born in 2004.

    2. Roborat

      I just pledged, at least this time it was before the goal was met. My wife doesn’t even read the comic but she still steals the magnets.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Yaay, Kickstarter! The fridge demands more magnets!

    1. Deanatay

      Meh, I was holding out for “I’m Just Here For The Iguana”.

  3. BBCC

    This strip reminded me that Tony and Sal were a thing in the Walkyverse and she called him her soulmate.

    Ahahahahahahahaha

  4. AnvilPro

    Tony was just walkin’ here, he didn’t need this

    1. Kernanator

      He didn’t want to have a Walky talky.

      1. Seen2much

        I believe what he had is a walky shocky

      2. FacelessDeviant

        He didnt want to have a Walky talky about what the deany did with his peeny.

  5. ValdVin

    Nice left turn!

  6. DailyBrad

    Poor Tony.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Dude can’t get a break in any universe.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Well it’s been almost six years since his last speaking part, so he lucked out for a while there.

  7. Xailenrath

    Wait, so, Walky’s mom divorced his dad, married Tony’s, then divorced him and got re-married to Walky’s dad?
    Did I skip a couple of chapters somewhere?

    1. tim gueguen

      Walky’s mom was married to the Dean before she married Walky’s dad.

      1. Songbird

        Ohhh, I forgot all about that! And here I thought Walky was just fuckin’ with Jason.

    2. BBCC

      No, she married Tony’s dad. It didn’t work out. They remarried to other people.

    3. DailyBrad

      I took it that she was married to the Dean, divorced and married Walky’s dad, and that Walky and Tony’s mom presumably got married to the Dean and he fathered Tony, and Walky’s dad fathered him with Walky’s mom.
      Like that’s the timeline as I understand it, but could be wrong.

      1. BBCC

        Yeah

        Step one: Linda and Dean McHenry get married.

        Step two: Divorce

        Step three: Dean meets some other lady (did we ever have a name for her?) and has Tony

        Step Four: Linda marries Charles, has Sal and Walky.

        1. Lingo

          Although the implication here is that Tony is a freshman too, so he’s basically the same age as the Walkertons.

        2. BBCC

          Tony’s implied to be older than they are. He called Billie ‘freshman’ in his first appearance.

        3. Djaevlenselv

          That’s what I was wondering about. Why does Walky talk about Tony here like he’s a freshman?

        4. Daibhid C

          According to Mirriam-Webster, “underclassman” means freshman or sophomore. Also according to Mirriam-Webster (look, I’m British, I don’t know) sophomore means second year.

          So, Tony can be a sophomore calling Billie a freshman and still be an underclassman.

        5. thejeff

          But Walky implies Tony’s a freshman when he says “All freshmen are required to live in student housing.”

        6. BBCC

          Willis says underclassmen would probably be more accurate, so I’ll chalk it up to Walky being colloquial.

        7. Daibhid C

          Either Willis changed the strip between you reading it and me, or I’m missing something.

        8. Deanatay

          Also, I don’t think he was a Dean at the time…

        9. BBCC

          Probably not, but that’s what his appearances are tagged as for those who want to go searching. 😛

  8. motorfirebox

    One year closer to your inevitable and horrifying doom.

    40, I mean. After turning 40, death will be a respite.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Ah, to be 40 again.

      Wait, no, 40 kinda sucked. Everything between 39 and 49 kinda sucked.

      If I can’t have 38 back again, I’ll take 50 over 40 any day.

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        Crap. I didn’t realize why we are talking about 39. If I could delete the above comment I would.

    2. nightshade

      I just turned 44 Saturday … I agree with this statement

    3. Charlie Spencer

      Look back at it from 60. It all beats the heck out of the only known alternative.

      1. Schol-R-LEA

        I have to admit that I never quite believed that. But then, I managed to hang on to 49, despite my wishes to the contrary…

      2. Sunny

        Being 12?

    4. Deanatay

      Excuse me, speaking as one in their 7th year of their 40’s…

      … you’re not far off.

    5. Jhon

      Just be 39 for the rest of your life. Like Jack Benny.
      (shakes cane at the infants going “who?”)

  9. Passchendaele

    Don’t you like surprises, Tony? 😛

  10. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the Queen song “39” for Walky on the hacked Muzak*

  11. Kris

    The dean was in Walky’s mom…that’s a thing I was happier to have forgotten.

  12. nona

    Pssst… hey, Walky. Buddy. You, um, might wanna rethink the whole adopting Jason thing. It would manage to make things even weirder between him and Sal. Not that you know about that.

  13. TemporalShrew

    Okay what the fuck, Walky. It’s one thing to make other people feel uncomfortable, but shouldn’t talking like that make *you* at least slightly uncomfortable?

    1. Cass

      He wasn’t too thrilled at first but he has had awhile to get used to it. Realizing the connection gave him points with Dorothy’s parents might have helped him acclimate.

      1. Yumi

        I think the part that “should” make him uncomfortable is talking about some man’s dick being in his mom, which doesn’t have to do so much with the specific relation. I could see it making Walky uncomfortable, but I don’t feel like he’s giving a ton of thought to his words right now.

        1. TemporalShrew

          True enough. And frankly, since that’s the default amount of thought he gives to what he says before he says it, I probably should have assumed as much.

        2. Sunny

          He’s giving Tony thoughts, though, that has to count for something.

    2. DailyBrad

      Walky’s got surprisingly few fucks to give about sexual stuff. I don’t remember if he even knows or not about Jason and Sal, or if he just knows Jason boned *a* student and not sure who it was.

      But yeah, he’s been thrown off at the times he’s shown his dick to people by mistake, but that’s like the only time I’ve seen him squeamish about sexual stuff.

      1. cbwroses

        Well, this might be the lead in to Jason clueing him in, if he didn’t get it already.
        “You don’t have a bond with him. I availed myself with your sister, and I don’t share a bond with you.”

        1. Dark

          To which Walky replies:

          “Why do you think I’m bothering to help you with your friends?”

  14. Sam

    How
    How does Walky know this, but Tony doesn’t

    1. BBCC

      Walky only just found out on Freshmen Family Weekend. That was just a couple weeks, maybe a month ago, in universe.

      Tony was in the football game so he didn’t get to talk to the Walkertons.

      1. Yumi

        Yeah, if he doesn’t know his dad was previously married at all, I’d think that was kind of weird, but if he didn’t know the specifics, that seems normal enough. I have no idea what my mom’s first husband looks like. I think his name is Jeff?

        1. BBCC

          I don’t think Tony knew he was previously married at all. Walky didn’t. Sal might not know. I mean, Dean McHenry and Linda didn’t have kids and seem to be amicable. It likely just never came up.

        2. Yumi

          Walky not knowing something seems more acceptable for me than just the average person not knowing. At first my reply was going to say something about how I didn’t always know my mom had been married before, but my memory of learning about it was from when I was, like, seven.

        3. DailyBrad

          My brothers didn’t know my dad had his first wife, but I knew because it came up in an anecdote once. They got divorced really quick, though, or maybe even anulled, so yeah, it just never came up.

        4. NelC

          I was in my teens before I found out that my dad had been previously married. That was when I met my half-sister; I don’t know that I would have ever been told if she hadn’t sought out Dad. And I was well into adulthood before I found out that I had a half-brother from another liaison in Tahiti (still don’t know the details about that, and it’s too late to ask).

          Families are a bongo.

        5. ischemgeek

          I grew up knowing that my mom had been previously married (for some reason my mom gave me her ex’s surname hyphenated with dad’s even though she didn’t like the guy – I am guessing because she hated her family more? IDK) so yeah. Sometimes it’s super hush-hush and sometimes it’s not.

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        For those who, like me, forgot, here’s Walky’s moment of revelation.

        The next strip has Walky uttering the immortal phrase, “Who said moms could have romantic autonomy?”

  15. Mr. Random

    Is Tony (And I assume his well-hidden anger issues) gonna start drifting towards our cast, the way that Rachel is?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      If I were to choose either one to take the spotlight I’d go with Tony.

    2. BBCC

      God, I hope so. I’d love to see how those anger issues translate.

    3. Dean

      He didn’t have anger issues until he met Walky.

      1. DrunkenNordmann

        Can you blame him?

  16. Tacos

    What the hell man. That’s not something most people will say about their moms.

  17. Huehuetotl

    I know who I’m voting for bonus strip next time.

  18. Victor Riley

    So, Dean apparently was never told that…

    1. Deanatay

      ‘The dean’

      Title, not name.

      1. Agemegos

        The dean’s name is “Anthony”.

  19. Eva

    And… I am guessing we will run into Sal next?

  20. Architex

    More like antisocial network!

  21. Bagge

    Silly Jason thought his day couldn’t get worst.

  22. Reltzik

    ……..

    You know, while Walky is lacking in tack here…. considerably…. I think I’m going to celebrate just how comfortable he is with the awareness that his mom has been sexually active in the past with men other than his dad and has arrived at a place of casual acceptance with that.

  23. brasca1

    I think Walky is seriously overestimating his social skills.

  24. Keulen

    Tony is stuck being on the receiving end of TMI from Walky.

  25. Lingo

    These last two strips give me the feeling that all the minor characters in this strip are merely robots, programmed to walk stiffly up and down the halls of the dorm like Sims, waiting for a major character to interact with them.

    1. wwwhhattt

      That sounds uncomfortably close to home…

  26. Plasma Mongoose

    Yfw your dad’s semen is what bonds you with your friends

  27. threePwny

    Dave, if you get all old and die before they this strip concludes, I’ll… resurrect you just to kill you again. Then resurrect you again because if I can do that, might as well have you keep drawing this. Then kill you again again when you finish.

    Man, that went weirder than I expected.

    1. Valerie

      “Damn you, Willis” had really evolved.

    2. thejeff

      By that time, he’ll likely have about a 5 year buffer and we won’t even know he’s dead until long after. 🙂

      1. DSL

        He’ll be the Bil Keane (or much better, the Reg Smythe) of webcomics.

  28. JessWitt

    That is such a loose definition of “intimate bond”.

  29. Rukdug

    Poor Tony is so confused right now. He’s just thinking “What the hell is this guy I don’t really know even talking about?”

  30. BenRG

    Poor Tony! Something tells me that Linda and Dean McHenry’s affair is news to him!

    Bless Walky for trying to help Jason, even if it’s based on an entirely flawed view of the health of his own social circle!

    1. BBCC

      It was news to Walky too a couple weeks ago.

      Seems like neither of them really saw the need to discuss that marriage. I guess it makes sense – it was childless and seems to have been dead in the water before any of their kids were born.

    2. Agemegos

      It was a marriage, not an affair.

  31. Just for kix

    You are not even thirty! You PLEB!

    1. Daibhid C

      Not sure where you’re getting “not even thirty” from; he’s got one year left in his thirties. Also not sure the word “pleb” works in this context. (It’s a word I’d be cautious using even [perhaps especially] when it does fit; a politician here in the UK had to resign because he might have said it. Walky gets away with it because he’s using it to describe himself.)

  32. stoodmuffin

    OMFG

  33. Eldritch Gentleman

    Walky. Seriously. Shut down that trash chute you call a mouth.

  34. @zombieundergrnd

    It doesn’t get more Bond-y than that.

    1. Les Moore

      The name is Bond. Intimate Bond.

  35. Bagge

    *Sigh* Walky, if you truly want to help Jason rebuild his social network, just introduce him to Joyce and call it a day.

    1. cbwroses

      Jason already knows Joyce. As that student he teaches who actually likes math. Or the student who sits next to his bad decision’s male clone.

      1. Nono

        I’m not sure Jason ‘knows’ anybody that actually does well in Math.

  36. cbwroses

    Will Jason bring up his lack of a bond with Walky tomorrow via mentioning sex with Sal?

    1. Schol-R-LEA

      He already sort of did, though Walky doesn’t seem to have caught the implications of the “sends her male clone to flit around after me” comment from March 13th..

  37. Jago

    I just realized he’s been dragged around by both Walkerton twins now.

    1. BenRG

      Jason just can’t get any luck with those Walkerton kids!

      1. DailyBrad

        Oh, he got luck with one, he just fucked it all up.

  38. Zaxares

    Does Walky know that the student Jason had sex with is Sal? Because if not, this would be the PERFECT time for Jason to go “You know that MY dick has been in your sister, right?” And just watch Walky’s brain freeze. XD

    1. BenRG

      No, Walky doesn’t know. Sal and he don’t have a close enough relationship for her to confide in him and there’s no reason why he should have guessed.

      I suspect that, if he did know, he would honestly offer Jason the opportunity to make it two for two Walkertons so long as he got good math tutoring.

      1. Vulcanodon

        As I recall, he did make just that offer, even without knowing about Sal.

      2. BBCC

        She didn’t even tell Marcie when it happened so no, definitely didn’t tell Walky.

  39. abysswatcher1993

    If Joyce, Sal, Mike and Walky’s “twin” were here too this would be a huge coincidence of destiny, or David Willis giving some fan service.

  40. Lothos_zero

    First – Happy Birthday.
    Second – Don’t worry about Turning 40 next year…
    I turned 40 last year and all I come to realize about it is that 40 is the year when you slowly come to realize that your not the same person you were in your 20’s but your ok with that. Mind you thats the whole year if your like me… but meh.

  41. Cybersnark

    Happy Birthday!

  42. Liliet

    BLESS
    I love this storyline

  43. Roborat

    Poor Tony, can’t catch a break. He learns something important, but he is still forced to stay in the background.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      It might be better that way, coming to the foreground may mean… interacting with Walky.

  44. Jdorr

    Was it your birthday today? If so happy b-day

    1. Axel

      comment this every day of the year

  45. BBCC

    Happy birthday, Willis!

  46. King Daniel

    So I just ran today’s strip through predictive text, and the resulting script seems to have excised Jason entirely:

    ————

    TONY: Seriously, what guy’s dad.

    TONY: Seriously, what guy’s dad.

    TONY: I’m– I’m perfectly happy living here with us plebs.

    TONY: Wait, what in the cliffsnotes on your world, okay? An’ so I’m adoptin’ your world, okay? An’ so I’m adoptin’ you. You’ll start anew with the buildin’ you. You barely know these people!

    WALKY: This isn’t see how being given the buildin’ blocks of MY social network.

    WALKY: This is of any benefit to me.

    WALKY: Yup, all underclassmen are required to live here.

    TONY: Seriously, what in the cliffsnotes once married to live in student housing, it’s a drag. My mom!

    TONY: Seriously, what guy’s dad’s dick has been in my mom!

    1. King Daniel

      Turns out there actually was more to the script, and Jason was in it (he just wasn’t in the first part):

      ————-

      TONY: Seriously, what?

      JASON: This is Tony. He’s the dean’s still gotta live here.

      WALKY: This isn’t your world, okay? An’ so I’m perfectly happy living here.

      TONY: I’m– I’m adoptin’ you. You’ll star, but he’s still gotta live here with us plebs.

      WALKY: Yup, all star, but he’s son and a rising given the cliffsnotes once married to his dad.

      TONY: I’m– I’m perfectly happy living here.

      WALKY: Jason, you torpedoed your world, okay? An’ so I’m adoptin’ blocks of MY social network.

      TONY: Wait, what in the dean’s son and a rising football start anew with us plebs.

      TONY: Seriously, what guy’s dad’s dick has been intimate bond, yo! Like, that in the hells dad.

      TONY: I’m– I’m perfectly happy living here.

      WALKY: This is of any benefit to me.

      WALKY: Jason, you torpedoed your world, okay? An’ so I’m adoptin’ blocks of MY social network.

      TONY: Seriously, what?

      JASON: This is Tony. He’s the dean’s still don’t see how being given the cliffsnotes on your acquaintances is of any benefit to me.

      TONY: Seriously, what?

      JASON: I still gotta live here with us plebs.

      JASON: I still gotta live hell

      JASON: This is Tony. He’s the dean’s son and a rising football start anew with the buildin’ blocks of MY social network! You’ll star, but he’s still don’t see how being given the cliffsnotes on your acquaintances is of any benefit to me.

      WALKY: Yup, all underclassmen are required to live in student housing, it’s a drag. My mom was once married to his dad.

      TONY: Seriously, what in my mom!

      TONY: Wait, what?

      TONY: Wait, what?

      JASON: This is Tony. He’s the dean’s son and a rising football start anew with the dean’s still gotta live in student housing, it’s a drag. My mom was once married to his dad.

      TONY: Seriously, what?

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        EUGENE:The bald soprano!

        GERTRUDE:There are pigeons on the grass alas.

        ALBERT:All these are the days my friends and these are the days my friends.

        HANS:I was standing there with a brioche in my left nostril.

        THOMAS:Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language.

  47. Dg

    The Bald Soprano is an actual play innit?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      These are all from actual literary/musical works. King Daniel’s predictive text scripts seemed kind of Dadaist/Surrealist/Absurdist to me, and I rolled with it.

      “The bald soprano!” is the key line of dialog from Eugène Ionesco’s play of the same name.

      After that are relatively well-known lines from:

      Gertrude Stein: Four Saints in Three Acts
      Philip Glass/multiple librettists: Einstein on the Beach
      Jean/Hans Arp: Declaration
      Thomas Wolfe: Look Homeward, Angel

      (Wolfe is the odd one out here, but the prose poem that opens LHA kind of goes with.)

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