258

Prattering
Posted on November 29, 2016 by David M Willis
wttfz5previewYesterday was Monday, which means it was time for another Welcome To The Fuck Zone page! Week One: Walky/Dorothy Week Two: Sarah Week Three: Ethan Week Four: Marcie Week Five: Danny/Amazi-Girl  <--new These stand-alone NSFW artworks can be accessed by Slipshine subscribers and there'll be a new one every week! Next week: Grace/Mandy

258 thoughts on “Prattering”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Galasso doesn’t suffer FOOLS gladly

    1. butts

      nice to see his managerial habits are preserved from Shortpacked!

      1. Idontcarenomore

        And that Sidney is as crazy as ever…and still threatens “you have not yet seen the last of Sidney Yus”.

        1. Clif

          Brilliant comedy is brilliant.

    2. Jason Furness

      Suffer, no.
      But I wonder how often Galasso pities FOOLS?

      1. Galasso - Pizza Lord

        Fool! Galasso does not know the meaning of the word pity!

    3. TheAnonymousGuy

      Nor failers

  2. butts

    FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!

    1. wheelpath

      FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS

      1. Baronbrian

        FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSS!

        1. Bagge

          FOOOOOOOOOO -gasps for air- OOOOOOOOLS!

        2. Some1

          FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!

          None can outdo me in the fools!

        3. Bagge

          …well played.

        4. Falling Star

          FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
          OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
          OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
          OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
          OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
          LS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        5. Meredith

          FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        6. butts

          F(O^10^100)LS

        7. Jason Furness

          FOLS.

        8. Emperor Norton II

          I raise you and put in F(O^10^10^100)LS!

          Also known as a (drumroll)

          goFOOLplex!

        9. Tacos

          Does Mr. T need to be called in to pity someone?

        10. Emperor Norton II

          Yes, me.

          Because I meant to spell it gooFOOLplex.

          My best joke in weeks and I ruined it!

        11. Geneseepaws

          Nah, you get full pints for the win. We got it right away. It was the icing on the cake that topped the others. You win. Your best joke in weeks, and yu beat us to it.

        12. AFool

          FOOLgoplex sounds better imo

        13. Reltzik

          INFOOLITY PLUS ONE!

        14. Dara

          ALEPHfoooooooooooooool

        15. Reltzik

          Foolction space.

        16. butts

          FOOLbert’s 8th problem

        17. Falling Star

          Pulp FOOLction.

        18. zathael

          Let R be my response defined by R= f+the sum o’s represented in this thread+ls.

          R

        19. ZerglingOne

          Joke’s on you, nothing can actually store that many O’s! Assuming a Hard Disk that fills the entire observable universe with optimally packed memory cells (10^20 per cc) You’d get about 30,000 googol give or take in the Universe’s 3.1 * 10^84 observable cubic centimeters. A drop in the proverbial bucket compared to a googfoolplex..

          The universe is big, but it’s tiny compared to some of the silly numbers we’ve come up with.

        20. Emperor Norton II

          So you’re saying that we have more FOOLS than the universe can contain?

        21. marianne

          That position does seem to be backed up by FOOLean logic.

        22. Knuf Wons

          Things are getting increasingly non-FOOLclidean.

        23. Kmoore305409

          Well she seems… Nice.

    2. Stephen R. Bierce

      LIMEY LOUIE: This little pity went to market… (breaks Daffy’s first finger, and he screams) This little pity stayed home… (breaks Daffy’s second finger) This little pity went… (breaks Daffy’s third finger and Daffy falls into the pit of crocodiles) Aw, NO MORE PITIES!

      1. PlainMarie

        This reminds me of the scene in one of the Pink Panther movies when the honorable thief trying to clear his name keeps breaking that guy’s fingers to get him to talk.

  3. AnvilPro

    I’m assuming she’s not really fired, and that Galasso fires everyone once a week.

    1. Bagge

      That sounds very, very likely

      I heard that Thomas Edison did just that.

    2. John

      Being fired is basically Sydney’s wyrd.

    3. Idontcarenomore

      She and Galasso seem to be reliving their Shortpacked existence. If so, she is fired, which allows her to go off to form her own vow to get even with Gallaso and work for a more or less rival outfit.

      1. Deanatay

        It will be called ‘Aw Yus Sammidges! (and pizza)’

  4. foamy

    Comments section yesterday called it.

    1. Gwen

      Next up: employment for Becky!

      1. Fridge_Logik

        I never knew how much I wanted Becky to work for Glasso until Sydney got fired.

        1. Needfuldoer

          If it means Galasso’s gets more screen time, I’m all for it!

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Some of them thought she’d be fired for bad service rather than the wrong type of bad service, though.

      1. foamy

        I object to this statement: Galasso didn’t fire her for the “wrong type” of bad service; in fact he didn’t fire her for bad service at all.

        He fired her for failing to bend others to her will, which is more like… um… bad RULE-ice.

        … look its been a long day.

        1. Explorer Rowan

          I agree. Sydney was fired because she could not bend the customers to her will. Galasso understands that this can take many forms, including but not limited to:
          Manipulation
          Deception
          Seduction
          Intimidation
          Treachery

          Sydney didn’t have a PLAN for her control of the customer, she just demanded they accept a pizza they didn’t want. The customer is not bent or cowed, they’re just annoyed and confused. Galasso’s employees should know better.

          If Sydney had, for example, attempted to seduce Becky and/or Dina for the purpose of both causing strife in their fledgling relationship and get them to buy a more expensive pizza, Galasso would have appreciated the approach. Although that does seem more of a Mike tactic, now that I think of it. Sydney could have also brought them the correct pizza, and then intimidated them into paying for it and leaving the store before they had actually gotten to eat any of it. Or while they were looking over the menu, deceived them into ordering some wildly disgusting combination of toppings, and then taken pleasure in their misery of trying it. These would all be acceptable forms of chaos at Galasso’s.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Even conventionally good customer service can be a good thing to Galasso if you frame it right.

          “Happy customers are repeat customers, the happier you make them the more likely it is they will return. Soon they will be dependent on your pizza (and/or subs) for sustinence! It’s a long con, but it will pay off.”

    3. Fart Captor

      True, but they were completely wrong about why she was fired!

    4. Disloyal Subject

      Really, this whole situation has been lovely for predictions, ranging from those made weeks in advance to those realized within days.

  5. Doctor_Who

    She was hired solely for doing a good “FOOLS!”, right?

    For Galasso, demonstrating that is the entire interview.

  6. shadowcell

    the last comic you ever do should be titled “THE LAST OF SYDNEY YUS”

  7. Hopeful Sarcastic

    those millenials and their delusions of free will

    1. TheAnonymousGuy

      millennials aren’t delusional, they know their fucked and just don’t want pay the bill for a dinner they didn’t eat.

      1. El Chupacabre

        Methinks maybe hopeful sarcastic was living up to the name.

      2. Deanatay

        Yeah, the Boomers ate the millennial’s meal, and then stuck them with the bill. I’d be a bit upset myself.

  8. Bagge

    Wow, um, it actually hits a bit harder what a terrible boss Gallasso is in Dumbing of Age than in shortpacked. Less cartoony, more abusive.

    Good thing that Sydney takes it in the cartoony way. VENGEANCE!!!!!

    1. Charles Phipps

      Listen, if you can’t deliver pizza right, that’s a firing offense.

      1. Bagge

        The homophobic slur SHOULD have been a disciplinary offence, but neither of those things is what she is actually fired for.

        1. butts

          …What slur?

        2. Bagge

          Senseless sapphic pawing? Berating them for being homosexual in public?

        3. butts

          Oh, yeah, that. That’s broadly homophobic (although I kind of doubt that that was Sydney’s intent— she strikes me as like Galasso, not really understanding how human emotions work), but not technically a slur, which is why I wasn’t sure what you meant.

        4. Lailah

          Sapphic is rather the opposite of a slur, but specifying the sapphic pawing does still come off heterosexist. I agree it’s not Yus’ intent, since she’s clearly inflating her word count, but it’s nto really relevant to the effect of her words.

        5. Cerberus

          Though I think it might be her intent going back. Like, the use of a veggie pizza initially made me think it was Sydney being that flavor of douchebag vegetarian evangelical who wants to “convert” everything to vegetarianism, but she flat out states no objection to meat.

          Instead she dumps what seems to be simply the nearest pizza at hand simply to stop a queer public display of affection. So, yeah, the intent is definitely a homophobic microaggression based on seeing two women being intimate as something that needed to be stopped quickly and by whatever means was at hand.

          What’s interesting to me is that Sydney also seems to have the flaw of never being able to admit fault or back down and so when told she has the wrong order, instead of going “oops, my bad, I’ll go get that” to cover up the initial attempt to get them to stop doing PDAs, she doubles down and tries to gaslight them into accepting the wrong pizza so she doesn’t have to admit fault and makes it into a whole power play.

          And the sad part is she would have gotten away with it if she had been slightly more subtle in her microaggression instead of doubling down over and over again to make it a whole major power play thing forcing her boss to intervene.

        6. thejeff

          Maybe? I’m not sure. My read was that she was being “honest”. She deliberately got the order wrong because they didn’t deserve meat. She’s not reacting to their affection, she’s playing out her variation of Galasso’s approach.

          Doing it all wrong of course, but aimed at terrorizing and controlling customers in general, not homosexual ones in particular. Assuming she does become a recurring (comic?) villain, we’ll likely have a better idea as we see more of her.

        7. StClair

          I’m with thejeff on this. She’s “merely” being a villain, badly; that is, trying and failing at it.

        8. Lailah

          See, the thing with that Cerb, you’re making a LOT of very definite statements about her actual intent, based on /literally one action/. That’s really hard to do. She might have a problem with gay PDA. She might have a problem with /all/ PDA. She might have a problem with any public display of attention not aimed at her. (I’m pretty sure it’s the latter).

          Like, this is /sydney yus/. If your judgement of her intent doesn’t have room for moustache twirling, you /might/ be /really/ off-base. Her and Galasso are kind of delusional people. And Willis isn’t being subtle that she’s still basically Sydney Yus, so this hasn’t changed.

          You /could/ be right. But I can’t say that with any serious confidence. None of this changes the EFFECT of her actions – it’s still glaringly heterosexist.

        9. Smiling Cat

          I assumed she threw in sapphic to boost the verbosity of her statement. Generic statements are for losers.

        10. Roborat

          I interpreted that as her berating them for too much PDA, not so much the sappic part.

        11. Shiro

          Sapphic isn’t actually a slur, but depending on her tone it could’ve been a very rude statement, so fair.

        12. Dave

          In fairness, Galasso wasn’t there for that, nor has it been reported to him. He can’t take action on something he doesn’t know about!

        13. a snow ʍousɐ

          Very true!

        14. Betrayer

          Since there was no homophobic slur, not really. It was a microaggression – still worth discussing and complaining about, but a whole different matter from a homophobic slur.

          Someone who thoughtlessly uses microaggressions can change if they are talked to respectfully and so don’t feel attacked. If you call them homophobic, racist, or sexist for even the smallest unintentional offense, the best possible case they will ignore you and continue saying things they don’t realize are hurtful. The worst is that they will decide minorities are just whiners who need to grow a spine and become anti-PC people who are INTENTIONALLY hurtful towards others.

          It’s particularly important not to overuse and dilute words like “slur” now. There will be plenty of real homophobic slurs tossed around the next four years.

        15. Bagge

          Ah, yeah, that’s a good distinction. Microaggression is a much better description.

        16. thejeff

          It’s hard to say in a case like this whether there’s anything deliberately homophobic about it. Or whether it’s simply descriptive. I don’t think she would have treated them any differently had they been an opposite sex couple, sex just would have used a different word. Nor is the word itself insulting.

          The worst you can really say here is that she specifies that they’re an same sex couple when she might not have if they were an opposite sex one.

        17. Fart Captor

          Throwing in unnecessary, obscure adjectives and contempt for affection are both classic Dr Doom moves, but this wouldn’t be the first time Willis dropped a hint about this kind of thing, where only some readers picked up on it until it became more explicit later on.

        18. thejeff

          It’s possible. It’s usually seemed more obvious to me. More foreshadowed, at least.
          This is practically Sydney’s first appearance and her kind of over the top villainy seems too much fun to turn into another serious encounter with bigotry. Becky’s got enough of that on her plate. I’d much rather see this as the setup for wacky hijinks dominate the pizza world stories.

      2. butts

        I mean, for all we know, this is a pattern with her.

        …that’s both probably true and obviously not why Galasso is firing her, of course, but who cares, Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs) is a refuge from the drama hurricane that is Indiana University.

      3. SgtWadeyWilson

        Nonono, it’s failure to follow through with one’s schemes that is a firing offense.

        The customers must either be satisfied or terrified!

    2. Kernanator

      That’s sort of Dumbing of Age’s mission statement: “What if we took this fun cartoony element and applied real world logic to it?”

    3. Viktoria

      Well, I mean, a lot of fast food places would fire you for intentionally bringing someone the wrong dish. They all definitely would if you made a production out of how you’re right and the customer is wrong. Galasso might be doing it for odd reasons, but he’s not being abusive by any stretch.

    4. Shiro

      I dunno, in any job I’ve had, refusing to give a customer a normally carried item for a nonsensical reason like that would be a firing offense if you were in your first 90 days, or a stern and somewhat incredulous talking-to after.

      That said, I’ve never worked for Galasso.

    5. Fart Captor

      He’s not terrible, he’s ridiculous. A responsible manager has to let go an employee who is unable to complete the tasks they are given.

      It’s just that the job description includes “bending the customer to your will and making them cower before you!”

      1. Reltzik

        …. and to hear the lamentations of their women!

        1. Deanatay

          Even if they’re both women? Harsh.

    6. Lailah

      …Wait, what? Now it hits? For Galasso firing someone for being a bastard (Badly)? Not the Second Eaton arc, where he literally played on Amber’s deep seated insecurities to establish himself as a cult leader?

      Honestly thi sis one of the most benign things he’s done in the multiverse.

      1. Bagge

        Yeah, you are right. It’s just the different moods of the webcomics that make it hit differently. Gallasso himself stays constant. Not coved by trivial things like the fundamental structure of whatever universe he might find himself in.

      2. Charles Phipps

        I maintained Ethan died in the Second Eaton arc. He was just replaced with an Ethan from another dimension.

    7. Emperor Norton II

      On the bright side, Dina and Becky did manage to sneak in a half-size panel of doofusness!

      1. Bagge

        That IS something to be treasured.

  9. (((Mkvenner)))

    OOOOOOHHHHHH! That Sydney.

    I like this universe Sydney’s hair.

    1. Bagge

      It’s rad!

  10. Keulan

    I sure hope we haven’t seen the last of Sydney Yus. FOOLS!

  11. Pigeon Pollyx

    Yknow, this is something that’s been bugging me for years…is Sydney Yus a pun on something? I’m normally good at seeing puns…

    1. Charles Phipps

      Sydney Yus
      Sidious
      Insidious

      1. Dave

        UNLIMITED POWER

        1. HMRC4EVR

          I’d rather have the unlimited rice pudding that follows unlimited power, at least that’s what the 7th Doctor says to Davros.

        2. DinaWho

          Does unlimited rice pudding follow from unlimited power? I had just assumed the two were just similarly grandiose declarations/demands.

          Also Remembrance of the Daleks is ace generally, so much delight at you mentioning it. 😀

    2. Doctor_Who

      I believe it’s a pun on Insidious.

    3. 0kami

      I always figured it was a play on the word “insidious”.

      1. Pigeon Pollyx

        thanks all.

  12. tim gueguen

    I’m surprised she’s willing to share her tips. I’m surprised she got any tips.

    1. Dana

      Some of the customers were cowed and opened their wallets for her.

    2. Bagge

      AND THAT WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL

    3. Angel

      It’s usually required in most restaurants that tips be shared with the bussing crew (since they don’t get tipped directly).

    4. (((Mkvenner)))

      I’m surprised Galasso has customers.

      1. tirachokko

        tbh it’s dang good pizza apparently

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          (and subs)!

      2. Kamino Neko

        He seems kind of a Al Yagenah type. Albeit, more amusing. His attitude is probably a draw.

        My last boss was also an asshole to customers, but not in as consistent or amusing a way as Yagenah or Galasso, and didn’t have trouble keeping customers, either.

    5. Cerberus

      I mean, we’re seeing her more cartoony ways here, but it might just be she has a problem of never wanting to back down and instead digging her heels after a mess-up or an intentional negative action. So, she might have coasted for awhile just doing an adequate if not verbose and disrespectful job because she hadn’t made a mistake or “expressed her moral objection” in the job yet that triggered this whole making a big power play thing.

  13. nothri

    All right! Dina defeated her first nemesis without the aid of her mentor Amazigirl and protected her girlfriend from harm as she did it!

    (You remember this the way you want to, and I’ll remember it my way.)

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      Second nemesis. She defeated Toe-Dad, too, albeit with the help of two superheroes and a villain.

      1. Pl0x

        Sal is not a villain. Sal is an anti-hero.

        1. Marisa Mockery

          At this point, AMAZIGIRL is the villain…

        2. Deanatay

          Which means MatthewTheLucky’s statement is still accurate.

          2 superheroes – Joyce and Sal.
          1 villain – Amazi-Girl.

        3. pl0x

          Hmmmm. Maybe.

        4. MatthewTheLucky

          No, no. The heroes are Amazigirl and Batman. The villian is the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit.

  14. Zuzi

    did Galasso actually fire her for her harassment of customers and make a smart business choice for once?

    1. NF

      He fired her for harassing customers poorly. Were she intimidating she’d still have a job.

      1. Reltzik

        She should have served them pizza with a fish’s head on it.

        …. anchovies are pretty intimidating.

        1. Fart Captor

          That would make it much more difficult to intimidate them into eating it, though

        2. Reltzik

          More difficult than getting a raptor to eat a veggie pizza?

  15. NF

    This was so unbelievably appropriate for a Sydney Yus appearance.

  16. Jay Eff

    Way to shame this institution, Yus…

  17. Shiro

    …man, y’all are good.

    That said, am I missing something going on in the 3rd/4th panels?

    1. Bagge

      I don’t think so. I think Gallasso explains it perfectly right in the fifth panel.

      1. Shiro

        Fair enough. Galasso is, after all, pretty refreshingly straightforward.

    2. butts

      I think Galasso is examining them for signs of intimidation.

  18. Schpoonman

    Galasso senses the terrible power brewing within Becky and wisely decides against making her an enemy.

    1. Tacos

      Substitute Becky with Dina. Fear the terrible power brimming in her hat.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        He has already noted the hat’s power at the queer meetup, and factored it into his PLANS.

    2. Rukduk

      Just like a Sith to throw away a “failure” when sensing a promising new apprentice.

  19. brionl

    So, Becky is looking for a job. There’s an opening at Galasso’s…

    1. Arianod

      Yes, but is she WORTHY?

      1. (((Mkvenner)))

        Ken is.

        1. butts

          Slowly but surely, Dumbing of Age becomes Shortpacked 2: Galasso’s Pizza.

          And Subs.

        2. Marisa Mockery

          I’m perfectly fine with this

        3. Falling Star

          So is literally everyone else.

        4. Deanatay

          Yeah, but Ken’s just a busser. No WORTHINESS required.

    2. Fart Captor

      I’m trying to imagine Becky trying to seem menacing and I am failing completely

      1. butts

        No, but she could troll magnificently.

        1. Falling Star

          Which I’m sure would be appreciated.

      2. Dorje Sylas

        The phrase “kill them with kindness,” comes to mind. Especially if it comes for a sharp kind of wit.

    3. Cerberus

      Best part? Galasso has trouble with recognizing gender and sexuality and so is very unlikely to fire her for being queer unlike a lot of places.

    4. Deanatay

      Galazzo: Hrm, that leaves us with an opening. OFFSPRING!! Summon the next FOOOO – erm, candidate – for consideration!
      Conquest: Next in the stack is… um, a Rebecca, Macin –
      *WHOOSH*
      Becky: WHO ME YES HERE WORK MONEY EMPLOY ME PLEESE
      Galazzo: Hrm, I like her energy! Offspring, teach her our WAYS!
      *turns, strides off*
      Conquest: *sigh* Let’s get your paperwork started…
      Becky: *ogling Connie’s assets* hehe yes, Ma’am… I mean Yes, Ma’am!

  20. Mandy

    Wait, Grace and Mandy are together?? I’m inexplicably really excited about this.

    1. butts

      It’s been brought up before.

      1. Mandy

        Oh, whoops! That went completely over my head, apparently. I just thought they were roomies/good friends. Well hooray then!

    2. John

      It is known.

    3. a snow ʍousɐ

      Who are Grace and Mandy?

      1. a snow ʍousɐ

        I mean, I know it was mentioned as the next slipshine but I don’t really know the characters?

        1. No Name

          Mandy is the redhead who died her hair cyan, Grace is her roommate/girlfriend.

        2. John

          Mandy and Grace. Grace is the tall blonde. Mandy’s got cyan hair now. They’ve been together since their introduction in the Walkyverse, where they were, along with Sierra, Marcie, and Guns (who hasn’t made it over to the Dumbiverse), SEMME Squad 48.

        3. butts

          “Guns (who hasn’t made it over to the Dumbiverse)”

          well, mostly

    4. Roborat

      Wait, you don’t know who you are dating? And why are you talking in the third person?

  21. Some1

    Now I’m kinda hoping for a Mary/Yus villain team up.

  22. Foxhack

    Good.

  23. Fart Captor

    Oh hey, it’s Ryu!

    1. butts

      DAMN IT HIS NAME IS BLANKA

    2. Lailah

      Juri is like, my favorite dude from Shortpacked!

    3. John

      Dhalsim got a line and everything!

    4. Jason

      Yay! I was beginning to wonder if he’d ever reappear.

  24. Synnerman

    She’s totally going to be the new RA isn’t she?

    1. Bagge

      That WOULD be suitably funny

  25. Teddae

    50 bucks says she takes over the pizza shop

  26. Rukduk

    So this is what it would be like if a Sith Lord ran a Pizzaria.

    1. Reltzik

      Once you start downing the deep dish, forever will it dominate your ribs. Consume it, you will.

      1. Roborat

        What, Yoda went to the dark side?

        1. Reltzik

          He lived in a swamp. Of course he had a black deck.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Cheese is a lie; there is only sauce.

      1. Dorje Sylas

        Through sauce I gain flavor.

        1. jy3

          Through flavor I gain pounds.

  27. JessWitt

    Ken speaks! Good to see you again, Ken.

  28. A Scientist

    Is Galasso huge? He looks massive in this strip.

    Of course, I’m sure he recognizes the value of being physically imposing, considering his quest for world dominance.

    1. Dana

      Willis claimed once in mouseover text that he has medium height characters, but I have yet to see any.

      1. Falling Star

        I thought Danny, Walky, and Ken were.

        1. foamy

          Walky is pretty damn short; if memory serves he’s about as tall as Dorothy, and Dorothy is by no means a tall lady (though she’s not short like Dina or Amber, either).

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Galasso towers head-and-shoulders above Dina, higher even than Ethan.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Do we have confirmed official heights for the main cast? Amazi-Girl once said she’s 5’2″ in her boots. Using Amber for reference, Dina is probably an even 5′. Ethan’s a head taller than she is, maybe 6′?

      Galasso’s probably something like 6’6″. I bet he wears thick-soled shoes too, if only to make more intimidating footstep sounds.

      1. Greenygal

        He’s only a couple inches taller than Ethan, but he’s very broad-shouldered, plus he’s always wearing a four-inch hat.

    4. A Scientist

      Based on your research and links, I’ll estimate Galasso at 6’4″. But I wasn’t even talking about the height so much as the breadth his shoulders (as Greenygal points out) and the thickness of his neck. There’s some muscle on that frame.

  29. Reltzik

    I mean, Sydney’s little more than comic relief. If I was her, I would feel so yused.

    1. Lipke the Articulate

      …damn, that’s good.

  30. BBCC

    I like how Sydney got fired not for being an asshole who wouldn’t serve the customers properly, but for not being able to intimidate them.

    Makes me wonder how Ken and Lucy are still employed.

    1. Fart Captor

      Well Ken’s washing dishes. Intimidating customers isn’t required for that.

      1. BBCC

        Fair enough.

      2. Emperor Norton II

        But you need to intimidate the leftovers if you want them off the dishes. FOOL!

    2. A Scientist

      I wonder if the employees have two options:

      1. Serve well.
      2. Create an environment of being in some powerful super villain’s domain, completely at the will of his minions.

      If you’re going to go with 2, it has to be in a way which enhances the experience. All Sydney did was annoy and confuse her customers, so she both provided poor service and was unable to create the desired atmosphere. And I assume it’s happened before, too, and she was on a short leash already.

      1. BBCC

        I like this idea, since we’ve yet to see his wife, daughter, or Ken address customers like that.

      2. Cerberus

        I suspect that is exactly the case. If you serve well, then you are ensuring regular minions and FOOOOLS coming to the pizza shop, if you intimidate, then you are creating a memorable experience that doesn’t overly harm the flow of minions and FOOOOLS and you also remind him of himself.

        If you’re just an asshole who confuses and bewilders the customers then you hurt the flow of FOOOOLS and diminish his pizza store’s power.

        1. A Scientist

          I like the way you described it better. There was more FOOOOOLS in your description.

    3. BenRG

      IIRC, Mrs G is still alive in this continuum; she is doubtless a restraining and moderating influence on Galasso, especially given how easily confused he can be by things most of us take for granted.

    4. WillD

      Fool! Know that the Yus was fired for trying and failing.

      Vega never made that mistake (by not trying), so he stays a Galassos’s minion… for now.

  31. Tomas

    “I will disabuse them of this notion.” is something I have to work into a real conversation someday.

    I feel kind of bad for Ken. He probably has to play pizza hostage negotiator every time he shares a shift with Sydney.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      It comes up a lot more often when you keep livestock. Especially when they’re clever and/or stubborn.

      1. thejeff

        Or pets.

        Or children.

        Or parents.

  32. Fart Captor

    Oh dang, I love that Dina is still looking through the hat’s eyes

  33. DarkoNeko

    Good news, Becky, there is now an available spot at Galasso’s pizza and subs.

    1. MatsuoTanuki

      Ooooh!

    2. Cerberus

      And we know from her interactions with Dina alone that she’s definitely a sub.

      1. Vampire Chipmunk

        …That was glorious. That just made my day, thank you.

      2. Gwen

        I dunno, she’ll definitely get some experience with (pizza) topping

        1. Bagge

          *Reluctant slowclap*

  34. Streeter

    Wow, Ethan lost some weight!

    😛

    1. Streeter

      Don’t hurt me, Willis! :S

      1. Reltzik

        ……… but wait, I just realized, Ken isn’t obscenely younger than Ethan any more.

  35. HMRC4EVR

    Can I be honest? I’ve never really cared for Sydney. I hope this is the last we see of her (but, duh, I know it’s not)

  36. Aeron

    Dina can’t actually see what’s happening, that’s adorable.

    1. Falling Star

      What are you insinuating? That the hat blinds her?
      If anything, that hat greatly increases her eyesight!

  37. Idontcarenomore

    And Becky just got a job thus connecting the old Shortpacked crew to the new DoA crew. Goodie goodie. Can only get better.

  38. Reltzik

    Hey Becky! JOB OPENING!

    The hijinks shall be legendary!

    1. inqntrol

      She’d be a great apprentice for Galasso!

  39. newllend(henryvolt)

    What I tell yeah.

  40. wakeangel2001

    oh hey, this place has a job opening…

  41. Brasca1

    I think the most unbelievable thing here is that Sydney actually got tips.

    1. BenRG

      You always tip, no matter how foul the service, for fear of what she might do to your food next time if you don’t.

      1. brasca1

        If the service is that lousy then why would I ever return?

        1. Silly Name

          Fear.

          Galasso’s Pizza (and subs!) has a business model centered around submitting your costumers as you would submit enemies!

        2. Fart Captor

          Apparently the pizza is really good

        3. BenRG

          It’s a college town where some people have very low disposable incomes. In such an environment, Galasso could be presenting heated wet cardboard with the remains from inside used condiment sachets spread over them and he’d still have a few customers so long as the price was right!

        4. Fart Captor

          If Amber’s opinion can be trusted, it has been specifically established that the pizza is good:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/sumptuous/

        5. BBCC

          According to Amber, it’s the best in the state, and Joe liked it too. I see no reason not to trust them on simple pizza.

        6. Deanatay

          And cheap!

        7. thejeff

          Well, that’s why he’s firing Sidney.
          Everyone seems to take Galasso’s approach as just an entertaining schtick. Not realizing his plans for world domination are actually serious (if even more doomed than in SP).

  42. BenRG

    Only at Galasso’s could you be fired for being an ineffective workplace bully. Sydney, as predicted, has vowed revenge; one wonders just how she’d do this in the far less cartoonish Dumbingverse.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      “…. in the far less cartoonish Dumbingverse”.

      Rebuttal.  Because this could actually happen, right?

      1. BenRG

        It’s more real-world plausible than super-powers in the Walkyverse; it is just simply unlikely with anyone who doesn’t have the resources Carla has.

      2. John

        It’s way, way more plausible than this.

  43. Verminohz

    Finally after months i rsised the recent page

  44. Mr. Random

    So he’d be okay with things if they were terrified?
    Yeah, that sounds like Galasso.

    1. BenRG

      I’m wondering if that’s one of the unique marketing points of the shop amongst the hipster crowd: “Galasso’s – Come for the pizza, stay for the psychological terror!” Hey, it works for Coffee of Doom in Questionable Content!

      1. trlkly

        I take it you haven’t kept up with QC?

        1. BenRG

          I read it more regularly than I do DoA. The only possible amendment to my previous post would be to say that ‘it worked‘ but it doesn’t change the essential point.

        2. trlkly

          No. I just wanted to inspire you to start reading it again, since I saw a hint that you hadn’t.

  45. Bicycle Bill

    Sydney: “You all have 15 more minutes as I cash myself out and distribute portions of my tip to the bussing crew.”
    Then what’s going to happen?

    1. WillD

      THEN you’d have seen the last of Sydney Yus.

      1. BenRG

        Until her inevitable return at the head of some ridiculous scratch villain squad. As this is DoA and not Walky!verse, she’ll probably end up in an ad-hoc alliance with Mary, Ryan and any other obviously destructive antisocial types who all feel that they have, in some way, been wronged by the society of Bloomington and IU in specific.

        Thus are reactionary social movements born.

        1. Cerberus

          You’re not wrong. And if Becky gets hired for the position she so recently vacated, then she’s got a sob story for the reactionary movement about how she was fired for trying to stand up for public decency and then had her job “stolen by hiring quotas*”.

          *Reality has never stopped whiny college applicants and job seekers from thinking that any non-dominant group member who gets hired instead of them must have only been hired to fulfill a hiring quota instead of being hired because they were the best fit for the job or there were multiple qualified candidates. This is of course slightly different because Sydney is black, but it’s still here opening with harassing them for a queer PDA, so there’s that aspect of it.

        2. WillD

          And Mike, just because

  46. Josh Spicer

    Yeah that’s…that’s about par for the course with Sydney.

  47. BenRG

    This may just be me but, from panel 2, I get the impression that Sydney not only has no respect for Galasso but doesn’t really like dealing with him for any reason. So it is quite possible that she’s been overstepping the mark for a while because she ‘knows better’ about how to achieve the shop’s goal of ‘satisfaction through intimidation’.

  48. a snow ʍousɐ

    Underclasswomen isn’t a word?

    1. Mr.Morningstar

      It might be? I’ve never heard it used though. To be fair though it seems to be a pretty gender neutral term, even the pronunciation doesn’t seem to focus on the “men” part of the word. ive only ever heard it pronounced like “underclassmin” or “underclassmun”

      know what I mean?

  49. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions (last two daysish):

    One of the things I love about Dumbing of Age being a reboot is seeing how the cartoony aspects of a character in one universe become changed by their realities in a more realistic universe.

    Like, Mike in SP! is a force of nature, but here he’s just that shitty edgelord friend who gets off on abusing those who seem vulnerable. And Carla goes from a misanthropic pie-throwing robot to someone who has thoroughly earned her disillusionment with humanity.

    So, I’m interested to read Sydney’s monologue of doom in a similar vein. And what I’m seeing is actually something that happens all the time in life and that’s the asshole who can never back down and admit fault or wrong-doing. The ones who’ll gaslight you and fight you rather than admit “oops, my bad” especially if the reason they fucked up had to do with a knee-jerk bout of bigotry.

    Like, hell, that personality type is currently our president-elect, so it’s not like there’s no real-world equivalents. And the initial incident is also familiar. Like, it starting with an abrupt and rude attempt to silence a rather cute and tame queer PDA is… common.

    Like, it happens a lot when you’re queer and fond of cuddling together with a partner on dates, where random assholes feel entitled to glare at you or demand you stop what you’re doing “for the children”* and where there’s all manner of microaggressions from serving staff.

    *I have a great story about the time that I was just closing my eyes and had an arm around my partner waiting for my name to get called and had a woman very insistively wake me up just to tell me that there were children present, because lightly hugging my partner was too “risque” so I immediately responded by telling my partner we needed to kiss now.

    Fuck, I’ve gotten the “we’re going to worsen service until you realize you should have never come in here” a fair few times simply for being visibly trans and on queer dates as well as the whole “hey, let’s um hide you in the back somewhere even though there’s plenty of open tables, so your existence doesn’t set off our more ‘traditional’ customers” dance.

    So her doing whatever she could to interrupt what turned out to Becky’s surprise to be a tame act of cuddling and saying “cease your senseless sapphic pawing” is not that far out of the universe though usually more blunt than you get most places where that shit is done to you.

    And it seems to be the combination of those two flaws that make her so alike her SP! counterpart. That she is quick to move in negative ways against people and then that she turns to gaslighting rather than admit flaw or prejudice.

    Like, in today’s comic, she’s doubling down at points where someone less married to avoiding admitting fault could easily dig themselves out, either by acquiescing to Ken’s request before her boss got summoned or using the intervention of her boss to quickly pretend, whoopsy me, silly error, my bad, Mr. Boss Man.

    Which is not to say everyone should back down meekly to employers (I mean right now, I’m straight up staring down our head of school for his shitty handling of the sexual assault on campus and the blind-eye he’s turned to sexist, racist, homophobic, and transphobic bullying on campus). But rather that at that point it stops being at all beneficial for her to keep doubling-down and that is what costs her her job.

    More interesting to me than all of that is wanting to know how Sydney got this particular set of flaws.

    Cause I mentioned Trump earlier, but Trump gets away with it by being a rich white man. Mary gets away with a somewhat tamer version of it by being a middle class white straight woman who always punches down, but Sydney?

    She’s acting like someone using gaslight to intimidate those below her, but she’s a poor* black woman and one who may be more “non-traditional” than she realizes given that rad haircut. She doesn’t have the social power to get away with this shit, so I’m wondering how it stuck in the first place and if there’s a tragic backstory of abuse in Sydney’s past where showing weakness or admitting fault was used as a sign of weakness inviting abuse**.

    *She’s working at a pizza place, QED.

    ** My ex had this raising environment, where admitting fault meant you got abused and had that fault used like a weapon against you for years after. This is largely why she ended up doing some stuff that was gaslighty and emotionally abusive when she fucked up and did something hurtful to me, because admitting fault was so dangerous growing up that she had automatic coping strategies instead.

    1. ischemgeek

      Plus, real world can get pretty damn cartoony at times, sez the closeted trans out bi guy who was called a “vindictive gay,” a “gay Nazi,” and was told I am “racist” against the Salvation Army, called a sex pervert and then told with a straight face that I am the one with hate in my heart this week.

      Like seriously it was basically interacting with the personification of Toedad.

    2. BenRG

      African-American culture, where it merges with Caribbean urban culture, can and does have strong misogynistic and homophobic elements. Even if Sydney isn’t consciously sympathetic to those cultural mores, it would be very difficult for her to avoid picking them up from her father, uncles, brothers and so on.

      Add to that what seems to be massive undiagnosed paranoid narcissism and you have an explosion waiting to happen.

    3. Bagge

      That’s a good point and I hope we get to hear Sydney’s story.

      Maybe we haven’t seen the last of her, after all

  50. Cerberus

    More comic reactions:

    I also worry that if Becky uses this opportunity to get hired, that she may end up with a free stalker who blames her for the stalker’s firing. Also, I like Galasso’s real worldification.

    He’s still a terrible boss and service professional, but his edge is tempered and he doesn’t seem to encourage only bad service in the way he did at SP!, instead only demanding either good service or bad service that also intimidates and dazzles customers rather than confuse and alarm them.

    1. thejeff

      I do expect Becky will end up working here and with a free stalker (Now with every pizza (or sub)!)

      That’s very likely the point of this little sequence. Or at least the point of having it at Galasso’s, since everything about the actual scalp plotline has its own point.

      I do suspect and hope it will be more of a straight up workplace-you-got-me-fired plotline, with plenty of wacky hijinks, since it’s Sidney Yus & Galasso, rather than a homophobia focused stalker plot. I’d rather have wacky hijinks here, thank you.

    2. BenRG

      FWIW, Becky doesn’t need the job to have earned Sydney’s eternal ire and enmity. She’s the sort of personality who would want to persecute Becky just for her peripheral role in her getting fired. It’s just that, from a narrative perspective, it would be simpler to have Becky at Galassos when it all starts coming down.

  51. Falling Star

    KEN!!!

  52. Victor Riley

    This better be orgasm-inducing Pizza, because I wouldn’t want to put up with that kind of abuse from servers and the manager for just “really good pizza”.

    1. Amake

      I seem to remember the college kids love the place because they think Galasso’s plotting for world domination is a wacky gimmick. I guess if you’re straight, white, etc. enough not to feel threatened by Sydney’s sort of behavior it’s going to be fun.

      1. thejeff

        Well, Sydney is being fired for it.

        And Galasso’s bombastic approach is sufficiently undirected and over the top to not actually seem threatening.

  53. kater

    I do not remember Sydney being this cute in Shortpacked.
    Like, yeah the hair is awesome but did she have the nose too! I love the nose!
    (I want Becky to work at Galasso’s if only to see more Galasso!)

  54. JepMZ

    I wonder if she’s going to be a leader of some sort in the university

  55. smooti

    Sydney is one of those “got too into the company culture” people, ain’t she? Anyway, hopefully Becky can swing in and get the job! She’s just as loud as Sydney but would give people correct pizzas!

  56. Storel

    Galasso has peculiar standards.

Leave a Reply to Falling Star Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.