236

Preparation
Posted on August 22, 2018 by David M Willis

236 thoughts on “Preparation”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    supposing that was even food to begin with

    1. Pablo360

      Taco Bell’s burritos are at least 40% food and proud of it.

    2. chrisashtear

      its cheaper than food!

      1. Formedras

        Tell that to my McDonalds app.

        1. Br44n5m

          Tell that to my nonexistent bogo happy meal coupons

    3. Inahc

      somehow I’m still jealous, having never tried taco bell despite seeing many ads for it. I really wanted to try that taco-in-a-taco thing when I was a kid but I couldn’t find a taco bell around here.

      1. Pablo360

        Trust me, the novelty of food-within-food tends to wear off halfway through the first bite.

        1. Pablo360

          Okay, when I wake up I’m going to change my Grav, because this just isn’t working.

        2. Wizard

          Just what is that supposed to be, anyway?

        3. Jimi

          looks like bacon to me

        4. Marsh Maryrose

          It looks like a bacon ribbon to me. Or maybe a Gumby made of bacon, fallen on the ground.

        5. Psyme

          Looks like breakfast to me.

        6. Needfuldoer

          That there’s some Freedom Bacon.

        7. All-Purpose Guru

          Eh, turducken is not bad.

        8. cbwroses

          I really want to try turducken.

        9. desolation0

          My brother once made a piecaken inspired by that dish, was brownie inside pie inside cake.

        10. H3xx

          … That sounds amazing… I might just try setting up a pie dish with brownie batter, Not sure how you’d fit the cake in without burning it to cook the brownie batter without ruining the pie shell… You could always frost the pie top…

        11. Annonymouse

          I think this is one of those – do it one layer at a time – types of dishes.
          Like Papier-mâché, you build it up in layers else you just get a soggy mess on the floor.

        12. Tim

          I have made a Kiel-brat-dog before. It was good. Hot Dog inside a Bratwurst inside a Polish sausage.

        13. Chronos

          Turducken doesn’t sound like food; it sounds like an early experiment by Frankenstein.

        14. Djaevlenselv

          Been doing it since Roman times apparently
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_pie

        15. Djaevlenselv

          No, this is NOT the thing I meant to link. I don’t know how I accidentally wrote that instead of what I meant to. This is just a completely normal dish.

        16. Djaevlenselv

          Maybe this is what I was thinking of
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whole_stuffed_camel

        17. HenrEek

          Don’t worry, you did wanted to show us that.. It is in the “Golden age of game pies in England” section.

        18. Liquid Len

          I went to a barbecue once where a whole pig was roasted with 3 chickens stuffed inside.

        19. weirderthanweird

          I really like their breakfast crunch wraps. It’s the only thing I get from Taco Bell but I get it consistently

      2. desolation0

        Closest modern equivalent that can nearly be considered food is probably a quesorito from Chipotle. The normal burrito that will already kill you for a week as you overstuff it with two varieties of everything is then stuffed inside a cheese quesadilla.

      3. Needfuldoer

        There are copycat recipes for their beef seasoning, but then you’re still left with something that resembles food. To get it right, your ground beef should also contain a grain-based filler like oatmeal, and at least 3% Styrofoam pellets (by weight).

        Honestly, just make some Old El Paso tacos, and add hot sauce if you want some extra spice. The food and… um… “end results” will be better.

        1. thejeff

          Pretty much. And then, with time you can adulterate it more and more until you can just stop using the packaged stuff in the first place.
          It’s kind of funny how many of my standard recipes started off with some boxed thing that I eventually moved away from.

          I do still buy the taco shells. When I don’t just use wraps or fajitas or something instead.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Pretty much! The only premix I regularly use anymore is Penzey’s Sandwich Sprinkle. It’s basically just garlic salt with some extra spices thrown in, but it’s good on just about everything.

          Cooking Comically and Good Eats have taught me so much about cooking like a grown-up… Forget the microwave, slow cookers are the real magic food boxes. Time to move on to grilling, gotta get me a charcoal grill to drop streaks directly into!

        3. NotPiffany

          I hadn’t heard of Cooking Comically before. Thanks!

        4. Deathjavu

          If you’re into slow cooking and steak, what you really want is a Sous-Vide cooker. They make ones that are bluetooth and/or wifi controlled, it’s pretty minimal effort and makes literally flawless steak every time (with the addition of a quick char afterwards, that is).

          You can get 80% of the way there on a grill if you’re lucky, but there’s really no replacement for just cooking the steak slower and completely uniformly.

        5. Inahc

          oh, is that why the beef burrito I ordered from an American TacoTime was all gross and weird? eew.
          The Canadian version just tastes like ground beef, but the american version was cut with beans, and the bits of meat that remained were just… *wrong* somehow.

        6. Needfuldoer

          They probably just grind up all the tough cuts, eyeballs and anuses that even McDonald’s rejects. Only the best processed slop for the average ‘Murican consumer! (It’s not like most can tell the difference, and many others would just turn their noses at anything fancier than Flo and Earl down at the good ol’ local diner would whip up…)

    4. Marsh Maryrose

      Michael Pollan doesn’t explicitly mention Taco Bell, but he does talk about “edible food-like substances.”

    5. Inara

      Every time Futurama mentions “Bachelor Chow”, my brain just assumes that it kind of tastes like Taco Bell burrito filling.

      1. Nobody

        Bachelor chow- now with flavor!

    6. Deanatay

      But Taco Bell is so flexible after it cools off! It makes a good paperweight, bookmark, pencil holder, doorstop (already mentioned), grout and/or spackle, dog chew toy…

      Not food, though. Definitely shouldn’t eat it.

      1. Annonymouse

        I was going to say Taco Bell was inspired by the culinary escapes of Lisa Douglas but no, Taco Bell predates the character by 3 years, so it must have been the other way around.

        Anyone for hotcakes and coffee?

  2. AnvilPro

    Walky and Amber are gonna drop out of college and be homeless together. And they’ll live happily ever after

    1. tim gueguen

      Nah, Amazi-Girl will reassert herself, and Walky will become her new sidekick Notveryhelpfulatallboy.

      1. Jamie

        The Walking Boy

        1. Tacos

          McNuggetman.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Meh-Lad.

        3. Dave the Inverted

          I just hurt myself trying to go from Randall Flagg to David Walkerton in one step.

      2. Heavensrun

        Walky as a superhero? What kind of bizarre alternate universe is this??

      3. Pylgrim

        “El Chico Taco”

      4. LookingIn

        will he be the Dexter to her Monkey Master or the Monkey Master to her Dexter?

        1. Charlie Spencer

          More like the Ron Stoppable to her Kim Possible. Well, Dark Kim Possible Phoenix.

  3. ShinyNeen

    Caring is a cold burrito. Err, no, I guess now caring is a doorstop? Like, a physical doorstop?

    Huh. This is complicated.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      As The Doubleclicks have aptly observed, a tortilla is a hug made of flour. (Well, many tortillas are made of corn, but usually not those intended for burritos, and anyway we all know what they meant.)

      1. ShinyNeen

        Dunno who the Doubleclicks are, but that sounds so sweet! And accurate!

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          Courtesy of their YouTube “About” page: “The Doubleclicks are two sisters, a cello, and songs about dinosaurs, Jane Austen and dungeons and dragons. ”

          They have so many awesome songs, but I can only link to one, so in keeping with the topic of the moment, here’s Love You Like a Burrito.

        2. Chris Phoenix

          That sounds reminiscent of Garfunkel and Oates… except instead of D&D you get cute snark.

  4. shadowcell

    christ’s sake, Walky, you knew this one once. Taco Bell is cheaper than food!

  5. vacantVisionary

    From Amber’s expression in the fourth panel I’m getting the sense that she’s getting a crush… if they start dating this will be the second person to have rebounded with Amber after breaking up with Dorothy.

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      Or, from another perspective, it’ll be the second person to rebound on Walky after breaking up with Danny.

      1. Doctor_Who

        It’s a double rebound!

        1. LookingIn

          The third time he gets a free cookie with every meal

    2. DailyBrad

      That would put a damper on Danny and Sal ever dating, if it meant- you know, I’m not even going to finish that joke.

      1. BBCC

        Well the solution presents itself – Sal and Danny would have to stay together forever. 😛

    3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      You know, I didn’t buy this ship before, but you’re right – that panel 4 is quite the ship-launcher.
      Still not sure what I think about it, but it floats none-the-less.

  6. Yumi

    I feel like a Taco Bell burrito will hold for up to ten minutes. Anything that’s supposed to cronch, though, you gotta eat that shit right away.

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Nachos mainly. A crunchy taco, wrapped, can last a good ten minutes. And I have no idea what Walky’s talking about when it comes to taco bell burritos – those things will last a good half hour easy, still wrapped. Depending on the burrito, you might have to let it cool down for over five minutes before attempting to eat if you still want a roof on your mouth (that’s directed at you, Chili Cheese Burrito).

      1. Yumi

        I don’t trust a crunchy taco not to fall apart on me. And there are things that are just less enjoyable without the cronch. But yeah, a quesarito tried to kill me once because I didn’t give it time to cool down.

      2. All-Purpose Guru

        Crunchy tacos don’t survive the trip home from Taco Bell, and it’s about 3 blocks away.

        Really put a damper on my wife’s fast food binges.

      3. cbwroses

        I only eat quesadillas because I’m a very picky eater and basically only like cheese and meat.

      4. Victor

        You can still get the Chilito/Chili Cheese Burrito? What magical place are you from?

        Or do you just have a time machine?

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          The American North East?
          And the Chili Cheese Burrito isn’t even off-menu anymore. It’s right there with the rest of the Burritos.

    2. ZerglingOne

      If it’s just a bean and cheese burrito, it’s about the least gross thing they sell. Taco Bell uses real cheese and beans, and a flour tortilla is literally impossible to mess up.

    3. Freddie!

      Maybe I’m lucky, but my chalupas stay food for at least 15 minutes.

  7. Purblebirb

    We gonna get to see some Garbage Roof makeouts?

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      … Walky Performs a Garbage Roof.

  8. Nono

    What does that second panel mean? ‘There was a place I’d rather be?’ Walky wanted to be somewhere else but had to come here?

    Unless it was typo.

    1. Yumi

      Reads like a typo to me.

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      Mike asked if there wasn’t a place he’d rather be.

      1. JessWitt

        I forgot just before this Mike lashed out at Walky. Surprised we didn’t see Walky converse with him about that.

        1. ego

          yeah mike could have gotten owned pretty bad there, but damnyouwillis already said the arc is running long

        2. Clif

          Willis’s first name is Damnyou? That explains so much.

    3. Tori

      It’s referencing Mike’s line from this comic. Mike was right; there was a place Walky would rather be, and it was Garbage Roof.

      1. Tori

        …for the record, I didn’t mean for this to sound like Mike is omniscient or that he knew better than Walky or whatever. I’m just trying to clarify the logic of Walky’s dialogue, where he’s essentially responding to someone who isn’t present in the scene.

      2. jeffepp

        Also, it’s a rhetorical question.

    4. Keulen

      That sentence seems kinda weird to me too.

    5. toby

      It’s definitely an echo of Mike’s last comment to Walky, but dunno if it was meant to be changed more. Could be meant to read as “huh, I guess there WAS a place I’d rather be”?

      1. Yumi

        “It was a place I’d rather be” would fit better well still being an echo in my opinion, but eh.

  9. Tacos

    Walky please, you’d still eat that burrito anyways.

  10. Stephen Bierce

    *plays some Spanish-language David Lee Roth on the hacked P.A. speakers*

    1. m-m

      Follows up with the Spanish version of Hotel California

      1. Sunny

        *Sneakily inserts the finnish version in the playlist*

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_3fhR8b9Nc

    2. Needfuldoer

      Garbage Roof doesn’t call for the Cheers theme song yet?

  11. theKOT

    I guess my family and our proud tradition of leftover taco bell are outliers

    1. Solenoid

      Leftover taco bell sauce packets is valid.

      1. Yumi

        The five Taco Bell sauce packets I keep in my car are valid.

    2. Andy

      My wife does that. Leftover Taco John’s, too. She’ll pull the taco out of the fridge and toss the whole thing in the microwave, lettuce and all. Weirds me out to no end.

  12. AutobotDen

    Where’s the lie?

  13. Solenoid

    😀

  14. tim gueguen

    I’ve never eaten Taco Bell, since Mexican food is not for me. My parents have, and were less than impressed.

    1. Tacos

      As a Mexican, I would never classify Taco Bell as actual Mexican food.

      1. Yumi

        Yeah, like, I like Taco Bell. I like Mexican Food. But if I were craving Mexican food, I would never go to Taco Bell. And if I’m craving Taco Bell, I’m not going to go to a Mexican restaurant.

        1. FacelessDeviant

          Yeah. Its the same with burgers. I would never go to McD’s for burgers. I go to McD’s for McD’s…

      2. Agemegos

        I had actual Mexican food in Albuquerque last year. The oxtail tacos were scrumptious. The crumbed and fried cactus pulp I could take or leave. And tamarind soda was good.

      3. Proxiehunter

        I don’t even think it qualifies a Tex-Mex. Under certain definitions it does qualify as food though.

      4. segnosaur

        In the future, all restaurants will be Taco bell, after they win the franchise wars. (According to the documentary Demolition Man.)

        1. thejeff

          That and “Rat burger? Not bad.” are the only things I remember from that movie.
          Totally worth it for those alone.

        2. ego

          “will somebody shoot this guy? he’s starting to piss me off!”

          best action movie ever.

    2. Yumi

      Some people just don’t like Taco Bell, but I’ve also found that some people are just bad at ordering. Like, my friend says she doesn’t like Taco Bell because she only orders the most basic taco, even though one time she ate my Crunchwrap Supreme when they messed up my order and loved it. Somehow it has not translated to her that she would like Taco Bell more if she just…ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme.

    3. Mydnyt

      To repeat a meme, you don’t eat Taco Bell because you want Mexican food. You eat Taco Bell because you’re poor and you like tacos.

      1. Yumi

        Other reasons I’ve eaten Taco Bell:
        -It was 3am and I’ve never made a good decision in my life
        -I forgot my wallet at home but had the Taco Bell app on my phone
        -I crave that mineral

        1. Victor

          That last thing there, that’s always the real reason. There’s something in food that only exists at Taco Bell. And it apparently is necessary to human existence. The need grows weaker as you age, but it still appears every few months.

          (It’s not because you like tacos. They don’t actually serve tacos. They serve something else and call it tacos.)

          And suddenly I want a taco. I can’t get one, the Mexican places close at 10. Taco Bell won’t cut it, even though they’re open. And there’s a Mexican place across the street from Taco Bell, that makes it even harder to eat it when you want a real taco.

        2. Liquid Len

          Reason 1 is why I get White Castle at 2am

  15. DailyBrad

    Walky’ll still eat it, I bet.

  16. Yotomoe

    https://imgur.com/a/d3BlMIY (NSFW)
    Doodled this about a week ago. Not a big fan of it now though. I could do better.

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Oh! It’s Joyce pratfalling her way into her first orgasm!

      … I’m not sure why she’s damning Walky unless there’s something I’ve missed about what Joyce is on top of. Also, shouldn’t you have posted this yesterday when it was more relevant?

      1. Yotomoe

        It’s a direct reference to what Walky said here. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/thirsty/

    2. ShinyNeen

      Well, that’s a good thing right? I mean, what you’ve got is already really good!

  17. Pat

    Oh Walky. It’s at least ten minutes before that.

  18. Yotomoe

    I sure hope that Garbage roof temporarily becomes negligible steamy hookup roof.

    1. Pablo360

      Negligible?

    2. Bagge

      That MUST be against some of the bylaws.

      1. Pablo360

        The first rule of Garbage Roof is don’t.

        Just… don’t.

      2. Yotomoe

        But not against the Bi-laws.

    3. newllend(henryvolt)

      “Sexy hot mess roof.”

  19. Keulen

    Part of me wants them to stay friends, but another part is starting to ship these two, and this strip is contributing to that second part a bit.

  20. Bagge

    Walky will still eat it.

    1. cbwroses

      Exactly. Who’s he trying to fool?

  21. Kyrik Michalowski

    It might not be the most popular opinion, but I love Taco Bell. I know it isn’t high quality, but it is cheap and it satisfies my cravings. If I had easy access to burritos another way I’d never need it l but I don’t even have easy access to Taco Bell.

    1. David M Willis

      I love Taco Bell, but I know its limitations.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Fair enough, it only just qualifies as food so again, fair enough.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      Taco bell kids FTW

    3. thejeff

      I just couldn’t go back after I watched them pour the meat out of the bag. 🙂

    4. Roborat

      I used to like Canadian Taco Bell, I still have it on occasion. I refuse to consider American Taco Bell to be food.

  22. newllend(henryvolt)

    Meeting #1: had a heart to heart and shared cookies

    Meeting#2: had heart to heart and shared a toy.

    Meeting#3: had heart to heart and shared a pizza

    How many of these are they going to have before they have a full blown picnic dinner date on the roof?

    1. Bagge

      When that happens, Walky will live the dream.

    2. Yotomoe

      He’s gonna nudge meatball onto her plate like Lady and the tramp. He’ll use his nose and everything it’ll be super gross. Amber will eat it anyway

  23. ProfessorDetective

    *me in the back* Kiss! Just kiss already! You’re both single and have good chemistry, so KISS!

    1. cbwroses

      It didn’t work when Joe tried it. It won’t work for you.
      But I wish it would.
      *Kiss, damn you!*

      1. Sunny

        Didn’t it work for Lucy, though?

    2. Jay

      *me behind you* Don’t kiss! don’t kiss! He’s Dotty’s god dammit the moment the two of them stop being dumb

      1. Agemegos

        Dotty can do better. I like Dotty and Jacob.

        1. Jay

          Dotty can do smarter. I wouldn’t say better tho. Walky actually got her to relax and not stress out every 5 minutes. Too be fair it lead to her almost having a mental breakdown but that isn’t walky’s fault she’s setting insanely high expectations for herself.

          If you judge someones worth by their intelligence then you’re a sad person

        2. the final pam

          There was nothing implying anything about Walky’s worth by his intelligence tho? It was just “Dotty can do better.”

          And like, there’s a lot that Jacob could provide Dotty that Walky couldn’t, such as being someone with a similar work ethic to Dotty. They’re both aiming for the top, so they could help each other and motivate each other at the same time. Jacob is also a bit more emotionally mature than Walky, so it would feel more like they’re on equal grounds.

        3. thejeff

          But is that what they need? Does Dorothy need someone to encourage her to study more and to schedule her life more?
          Or does she need someone who’ll give her the chance to goof off a bit?

          I think Dorothy and Jacob are too much alike to make a good couple. They reinforce each other’s strengths, but don’t do anything for their weaknesses.

          (And I think the point wasn’t judging “Walky’s worth by his intelligence”, but that Jacob might be smarter, but wouldn’t necessarily be better.)

        4. the final pam

          Okay but that last sentence “If you judge someones worth by their intelligence then you’re a sad person” implies that was what Agememos’ comment was doing.

          Dorothy needs someone in the middle. Someone that can stimulate her intellectually and also remind her to take breaks. More than anything though, Dorothy needs to realize on her own how to handle her school life, whether that means talking to someone in student services or something before she completely burns out. Because, as much as Walky helped Dorothy relax, just having a goofy boyfriend doesn’t fix Dorothy’s problems. And Dorothy was only able to relax so long before her needs to be perfect kicked in again and led to her current spiraling, so honestly? I think Dorothy and Walky are too different to make a good couple.

          But full disclosure, I greatly dislike m/f couples where there is a vast difference of emotional maturity between the two. Hyper-competent woman meets manchild is boring and tired. Dorothy and Walky’s relationship has always felt unequal to me because of that. Just because they make each other happy doesn’t mean they’re good for each other either. And if a significant part of their relationship is Dorothy ‘mothering’ Walky to stop picking on Joyce or to be more responsible? That’s just.. eugh. It’s not great.

        5. Agemegos

          Perhaps it does.

          I don’t think Walky is dumb, though. I think he’s a pretty intelligent kid who got badly let down by his high school in that it let him coast through and didn’t teach him either to work or how to learn. He’s not dumb. But he is much more childish than Dorothy. On the other hand, there’s no particular evidence that Jacob is especially smart. He’s above-average intelligence and he works to keep his grades up. Quite possibly Walky has more raw brainpower. But Jacob is more diligent, focussed, ambitious, and mature.

          The reason that I think Jacob is a much better match for Dorothy than Walky is not much to do with intelligence. It is much more about having compatible values and similar levels of maturity. Dorothy is high on oxytocin, but she doesn’t actually like Walky the way he is. She wants to make him study, she wants to make him dress more stylishly, she wants to make him bathe more frequently and wear clean clothes, and when the freshman fifteen start to blur his carved caramel abs she it going to want to make him eat sensibly and exercise. The mothering girlfriend is not a healthy role. It will exacerbate Dotty’s tendency to chivvy and chide. On the other hand, Walky does not really respect Dotty’s ambition. All they have in common is Monkey Master and fucking.

          Jacob, on the other hand, shares and will respect Dorothy’s ambitiousness as a shared value. He will bathe daily and dress nicely without being driven to it. They would be able to work out together or sit and study in companionable silence both doing something they wanted to do for itself: together time with sweetie would no longer by a rival alternative to how they want to spend their time. They would be able to discuss political issues and social policy together. They are just an outright better match.

          And I think Jacob would do well to have a partner with ambitions she intended to achieve for herself rather than by annexing him.

        6. thejeff

          That’s a completely different read on pretty much everything than I have. It’s funny how we can read the same comic and interpret everything so differently.

        7. Agemegos

          Different experiences of life, in different countries, and probably in rather different eras, will give people different points of view. My freshman year was 1982, at the University of New South Wales (in Sydney, Australia), and there has been a lot of water under the bridge since then.

        8. Jay

          Also not gonna lie but I think Jacob and Raidah are perfect for each other. One’s a perfectionist elitist bongo and the other wants to be perfect to impress his brother.

        9. thejeff

          I still ship JacobxPizza.

        10. Inahc

          piiiizzzaaaaaa

          …damnit, now I want pizza. In a taco.

      2. Fart Captor

        “Being dumb” would be passing up on something that has a good chance of working really well to wait around desperately hoping to get back together with someone who dumped him

        She’s not his only chance at love any more than he is hers. If he’s ready for it and he thinks it might work, he should totally go for it.

  24. tirachokko

    no no nO NO NO NOT THIS SHIP NO THEY’RE GOOD AS FRIENDS NO NO NO DON’T MAKE ME EAT THE WORDS I SAID TO BUTT NO

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      I-I….don’t feel like I want to fight against this…

      1. tirachokko

        FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

        1. Proxiehunter

          But they can’t fight that feeling anymore. They’ve forgotten what they started fighting for.

        2. Victor

          You are a bad person.

    2. tirachokko

      Also, dang Walky, it’s actually something of a shocker you have taco bell standards, not to drag you or anything but I just assumed you’d be cool w it if you were cool with 50 nugs (which, tbh, stop being crunchy and delicious after the first 15 at most, even if they’re still warm. Saying this from experience, I was that friend in hs who’d buy at least 60 chicken nuggets at the mall before trailing after my friends b.c i was gross/obnoxious/a bottomless pit for food/it was the most cost efficient way to ensure I’d not go broke eating enough in the mall while friends would swipe my food. I once bought 100 and had fun shocking the very fit teenagers next to me)

    3. Deanatay

      Don’ worry, it’s Willis’ nature to rev up a ship, get as many passengers on board as it’ll hold, and then sink it. He likes to watch his victims as they splash about impotently.

  25. newllend(henryvolt)

    God I’ve actually been anxious for another garbage roof meet up. What’s this doing to me?

  26. BarerMender

    I really like the new style of art.

  27. Dellaran

    Amber just looks so *healthy* in this strip, it’s easy to hope Walky might actually be good for her. So now I’m nervous.

    1. tirachokko

      that’s usually how new relationships start though, you seem so hopeful, so fresh, so innocent, bUT THEN HEARTBREAK (this may be only the trend for relationships when you’re younger though)

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      See your first mistake was to have hope in this universe. Life will be along shortly with your swift kick to the gentleman’s/lady’s/etc. area and a reminder not to have any hope. Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed, assume the worst and you will always be prepared, and if anything better happens? Well then it was a pleasant surprise and you add to the short list.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Actually I got two of those bavkward, it should be “Assume nothing and you will never be disappointed, expect the worst and you will always be prepared(…)” but either way works I suppose, one is just slightly less pessimistic.

    3. HMH

      The thing is, the whole point of garbage roof is that they’re with people who are uncritical about their flaws and failings, as opposed to people who intuitively and automatically treat those failings as a list of itemized problems which must rapidly be solved. Especially for Amber, learning to not take failures so catastrophically seriously is something they both need to do to take steps towards being functional and healthy.

      …the other shoe dropping is the big downside. An environment or relationship where they can be casual and accepting about these things is a dire need. But, that doesn’t mean those things aren’t also an itemized list of problems that they need to make a great effort to solve. The continuous focus on that is a negative that they’ve desperately needed to escape the stress of, but escape needs to be a respite, not simply the replacement behavior for actual self-improvement. That is where Walky and Amber would inevitably be bad for each other, for the precise reason they’re also good for each other.

      1. Dellaran

        That’s a really insightful analysis. It doesn’t bode well for Amber and Walky, but I think you’ve got it exactly right.

      2. thejeff

        It’s a step worse even, because not only can you not work on solving their real problems, but you can’t even focus on any of their good points or argue that some of those problems may not be real problems at all.

        Garbage roof serves a good purpose, as long as it’s limited and you get the actual positive reinforcement elsewhere. Otherwise it can be a trap that just drags you down in a spiral of negativity.

  28. Wraithy2773

    …….the thing I want most of all is for Walky to come to Los Angeles so that he can eat some real goddamn Mexican food.

    1. wwwhhattt

      Why not go to… Mexico?

      1. Wraithy2773

        2 reasons:

        1: Because I live in LA, and I know how much goddamn great Mexican there is here.

        2: One of the things you also get in LA is interesting twists on good Mexican food. Korean-Mexican fusion might seem like a completely bonkers and insane idea, but then you try some of Kogi’s Blackjack Quesadillas and you just goddamn melt…

        It’s the aspect of American Melting Pot cuisine that I really do love: Taking the old classics, and seeing what can be done with them…

  29. Defensor

    This is the way I see it… If Walky is content to remain as he is now then Amber is the girl for him. If he wants to be something more than what he is then he should try to win back Dorothy.

    1. Jay

      This. As much as I want Dotty/Walky to sail this is the healthier relationship if he doesn’t wanna be more then what he already is (no offence to what he is)

      1. HMH

        The problem is, he clearly does want to be more than he already is. He just doesn’t know how to process what he would actually have to do to accomplish that, and he doesn’t know exactly what he would like to be, and he’s habitually treated the kind of introspective self-reflection it takes to figure that out like it was poison for his whole life, because actually taking anything with any stakes seriously or living inside his own head has perpetually terrified him on an existential level for basically his whole life.

        On one hand, his desire to be successful and not be seen as a failure is heavily rooted in the very unhealthy source of his extremely well-supported knowledge that the love and care of his family is legitimately contingent on whether or not he meets their expectations. He’s seen first-hand the uncomfortable truth that peoples’ regard for you is transient and reliant on you meeting their own unique standards for what you should be, and so of course he wants to be seen as “good enough” as a core behavioral drive. But, in his desire to never really think about the implications of this – because for him, they’re very uncomfortable, and require facing stuff like the difference between how he and his sister are treated – combined with his generally successful coasting strategy for life has led him to a worldview where the ability to succeed or fail is such a binary, innate characteristic for any given challenge that it’s futile to try at anything. So, he’s resigned to failure, but he hasn’t truly taken the time to examine whether his failure actually is inevitable, or whether he’s as comfortable with it as he thinks he is.

        Despite the negative root of his desire to be “good enough” in every nebulous sense for what he “should” be, Walky doesn’t want to be a total piece of shit. He’s just internalized that you either do or do not succeed because of who you are, and when you don’t succeed, you’re a piece of shit, and that’s just how things are, so now he’s apathetically committed to being a piece of shit because in his eyes he actually can’t do anything about it, even if he does try. But I really don’t get the impression that’s the result he wants. He’s just unwilling to believe there’s another option, because it would require him to examine the glaring flaws in his immature worldview…which is a constant source of stress for him in the context of dating Dorothy, and why this emerging relationship with Amber – which feels easy, which is basically Walky-ese for “satisfying” – is both a blessing and a curse. He needed a reprieve from the constant nagging voice that he’s not good enough and needs to better himself; respite is healthy. But, utterly abandoning the concept of success, improvement, and happiness isn’t, and that’s what a long-term relationship leads to when it’s built on this particular foundation.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          I’d just like to say thank you for writing this so that I didn’t have to.

    2. Blackouthart

      Respectfully, I disagree. I’ve never been much for Dotty and Walky because there’s always been this weird imbalance where Walky is trying to reach for Dotty’s standards. There was inherent toxicity where both of them tried to live up to dorothy’s frankly impossible standards and it didn’t really work for me. I think Walky just needs to be with someone where he isn’t constantly striving all the time to reach their level. That’s exhausting, and it’s not growth. Walky didn’t try to improve for himself, he tried to improve for Dorothy, and she was a crutch for him to not actually think about why he should be better but more “shit this girl is amazing I have to be amazing too” instead of “I’m a freshman who’s overwhelmed by my first year and I need to learn better discipline, not just because my girlfriend is like a Rhodes Scholar.” I’m not saying I’m rooting for Amber and Walky either, as that could go horribly wrong, but my 2 cents.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        This is interesting.

        I mean, on one hand, I do think it’s only natural and, in moderation, healthy to strive to improve yourself somewhat when you are in a relationship* (romantic or otherwise). It shows appreciation and respect for your partner.

        But that has to come from a healthy starting point to begin with. And as HMH’s comment goes into, Walky’s not approaching this from a healthy starting point. At all. And for all that Dorothy tried to assure him that her love for him wasn’t contingent on him being a Straight A Student (and it wasn’t), he never stopped feeling that it was.

        And -that- made it exhausting and damaging for him. Which is a shame, since some of the things Dorothy did push him into improving -was- healthy for him.

        And then, in turn Dorothy got exhausted from having to stay on the “complete perfect in every way” pedestal that she’s been putting herself on half her life; and which only got reinforced by the way Walky worshipped her. For her, “C” is the same thing as an “F”, and while Walky was in no way the person who instilled this kind of thinking in her, he did not help. She was as shamed to admit the C to him as he was admitting his Fs to her.

        *One can argue that one should strive to improve no matter what, and I don’t really disagree per se. But it is through close relationships (friendship or romantic) with other people that we can most easily see a tangible effect of what happens when we make an effort vs. when we don’t. At the end of the day, we do need other humans to help being better humans ourselves.

        1. thejeff

          It really isn’t clear to me how much the relationship drove any of that. As you say, it wasn’t Walky that instilled that in Dorothy and it also wasn’t Dorothy who instilled in Walky – his self-esteem was rooted in being an effortless A student from the start. Blame his parents, if you will.
          He did think he’d lose her over it, but he’s also dreaded his mother finding out.

          I still think they both were good for each other – her loving the snarky goofball side as well as the times he stepped up and gradually accepting that she couldn’t push him too hard to change. While he supported her goals and didn’t push her to join him in slacking off, but did give her more chances to do so, which she desperately needs.

        2. the final pam

          Dorothy’s problem isn’t actually that she needs to slack off more. It’s that she needs to lower her expectations for herself and to not burn herself out. A C is still passing. And for most things, it doesn’t matter what grade you get, as long as you passed. What Dorothy needs is to talk to an academic advisor or someone that can help her sort out her stress without leading to a breakdown.

          Blowing off her homework to have fun is not actually helpful to Dorothy’s situation and “fun” procrastination is still procrastination. Accepting that it’s okay to get anything less than an A and that putting in a good effort is better than overdoing it and burning herself out would be better for her in the long run.

    3. Fart Captor

      There is absolutely no reason Walky couldn’t date Amber AND get his act together, and even LESS reason to think dating Dorothy would help him do that, seeing how he was already failing before they broke up. Hell, his putting Dorothy on a pedestal and treating her and her needs as more important was directly adding to the pressure he was putting on himself, which was already too much.

      More importantly, trying to “win back Dorothy” would be a shitty thing to do. She dumped him. She’s made it clear what she wants. On TOP of that, she’s made it clear that the problem wasn’t that she didn’t like him, but that she doesn’t have the time and energy for ANY relationship right now. Walky should absolutely NOT start pestering her to get back together.

      1. the final pam

        Yeah, agreed. And not only would Walky trying to ‘win back’ Dorothy go against what she explicitly said when they broke up (that she couldn’t make time for a relationship and focus on her schoolwork and that it’s not fair to Walky), how exactly would them getting back together actually fix any of their current problems? As they are right now, the two of them would just fall into the same routine. Before anything, the two of them should work on themselves first before running into the same situation they’ve tried at least twice now.

        Also the implication that Walky can only improve himself by dating Dorothy makes me go euhghg. Not only is that unfair to Walky, but that has a connotation of like.. Dorothy’s responsible for Walky’s own personal growth, and that’s incredibly unbalanced for a relationship. It’s not Dorothy’s job nor obligation to make Walky better himself, no matter what kind of relationship they have.

        1. Sam

          To be fair the main person who actually creates the narrative that he can only improve while dating Dorothy is Walky himself. HE is the one who actually hinges his ability to grow on having someone to grow FOR and let himself slide back into bad habits/behaviours. Walky honestly needs to realise he can grow… just because he wants to do better.

        2. the final pam

          That’s true, and Walky definitely needs to grow out of that. That doesn’t mean we should encourage that mentality outside the comic, though. Ideally, yes, you (general you) should be growing and learning together with your partner, but the emphasis is on together. It’s not your girlfriend’s to raise you. It feel very reminiscent of the manic pixie dream girl trope, where the dream girl only exists to improve the life of the protag and lead his personal development, but what does that leave for her? What’s she getting out of it?

        3. Fart Captor

          100%

          Besides, Walky’s current biggest problem is that he’s fleeing in the face of pressure and a need to keep succeeding without much effort. Talking with Amber has helped him calm down and not worry so much about being perfect. He still needs to actually learn good studying skills and push himself to do the work, but not being so afraid of failure that he skips class entirely is a major step in the right direction

        4. thejeff

          Of course there’s a certain assumption there that splitting up fixes any of their problems either. If it doesn’t, and I’m pretty sure it won’t, then why not get back together?

          For all Dorothy’s protestations of how she doesn’t have time for a relationship, I’m pretty sure the resolution to her arc will not be “And then she broke up with Walky and had plenty of time to study and got herself back on track and all was well.”
          I strongly suspect she’s going to still be on the burnout track she was working on and it’s very likely Walky’s going to be part of the resolution when it hits a crisis point.
          Whether they get back together there is another question, but I see the problems they were having as actually having very little to do with each other and therefore no real bar.

        5. the final pam

          Their problems are exacerbated when they’re together, though. The solution to Dorothy’s problem isn’t to learn how to slack off sometimes and blow off her schoolwork. It’s to learn how to prioritize her schoolwork and accept that in many places, a C is just as good as an A because you passed. She does need to learn how to take time for herself and give herself room to breathe, but Walky doesn’t encourage that. He encourages completely ignoring problems until they’re screaming in his face.

          And being with Dotty wasn’t helping Walky out either with his problems. They still have problems!! And no, splitting up isn’t going to solve their problems because there’s more going on than the two of them being in a relationship, but being in a relationship isn’t going to fix anything either. The solution comes from outside the relationship, and frankly considering both their problems concern their schoolwork, it would benefit the both of them to try to get a handle on that before running into the same problems again and again.

          Like I was saying, they’ve done this song and dance before. Until they actually fix their problems, nothing is going to change or improve if they just get together back again. If Dotty does nothing to fix her current burnout track, but gets back together with Walky again? They’re going to do the same goddamn thing and break up again.

      2. Inahc

        ” Walky should absolutely NOT start pestering her to get back together.”

        not that he would anyways; he was about to break up with her when she suggested the “pause”.

        1. thejeff

          He won’t of course.

          From all indications and everything we’ve seen in their relationship (and since), it’s Dorothy who’s likely to reach out for him.

  30. papayapunkpixie

    I’d eat it. Guess Walky ain’t as crusty as he acts

  31. Diner Kinetic

    something is clearly wrong with me because my first thought was “But Willis writes heartbreak *so well* I want them to be happy and then sad and then happy again, at least until Galasso finally succeeds in conquering all emotions except for hunger and wrath (Y’know, to sell more Pizza)”

  32. Proto

    Walky turning down Taco Bell shows that this is truly a whole different universe

  33. stoodmuffin

    Was? A place I’d rather be?

    1. BBCC

      Last time Walky showed up, Mike asked ‘isn’t there someplace you’d rather be?!’ This is Walky saying there was, in fact, a place he’d rather be.

      1. David Doty

        Thanks. I was totally confused.

  34. Jay

    AMBER. STAHP. YOU’RE RUINING THE CHANCES OF MY SHIP EVER SAILING AGAIN. DAMMIT.

    1. jeffepp

      Relax, this could be a Lady and the Tramp spaghetti moment.

      1. Deanatay

        If they’re doing that over an hour-old Taco Bell burrito… EW.

  35. Jay

    Why do all the great and healthy relationships in this comic get ruined by one of the two in the relationship losing all of their IQ points and going full dumbhead

    1. Solenoid

      It’s not named “Smarting of Age” :V

      1. Jay

        *sigh* I know. But like, does EVERYONE have to be dumb ALL the time 🙁 Dotty and Walky literally improved each other so much, dotty by making walks care about his grades and future and want to improve them and walky by getting dotty of all people to let off steam up until she got that bad test.

    2. BenRG

      You should always take the last panel with a degree of ‘only semi-canonical’ because, in strip cartoons, the last panel always has to be the funny pay-off.

      1. Jay

        I wasn’t referring to this specifically lol

      2. BBCC

        …No. No you should not do that. And there are so many strips in Dumbing of Age that do not end with a ‘funny pay-off’. A lot of things said or done in last panels are discussed or have ramifications later, especially when the characters are conversing and the last thing said will be responded to. There’s nothing semi-canonical about it.

        1. alice

          omg, is this actually a thing? if i’m reading a story i’m invested in and people i care about and they decide to throw out all the canon just to put a fucking goof in the last panel of the strip? i can’t even imagine how jarring and enraging that would be.

        2. alice

          uh, that was not well positioned in this thread. sorry…

        3. thejeff

          Even when the last panel is a “funny pay-off”, it often ends up having ramifications later.

        4. BBCC

          Exactly!

    3. Deathjavu

      Well, there aren’t all that many healthy relationships in the comic anyway, and we don’t focus on them much because, to paraphrase Tolstoy, happy people are boring.

      But, happily, Dina and Becky still exist as mostly a counterpoint to your statement.

      1. Jay

        For now

  36. Rex Vivat

    Last time we saw Walky: «Mike: “Walkerton, isn’t there a place you’d rather be?”»

    1. Rex Vivat

      Damn, that was meant as a response.

  37. BenRG

    I think that Amber may have got it right the second time: I suspect that Walky would get more gastronomic and nutritional value from an actual doorstop!

  38. JessWitt

    Never ate at Taco Bell; it never set location in my part of the world unlike McDonalds or Pizza Hut. Should I be grateful?

    1. Andy

      Yes, very.

  39. alice

    wait i thought walky loved taco bell

    1. 3oranges

      Walky loves it enough that he never takes so much as five minutes to finish it, and does not consider it the same substance if you do.

    2. Heavensrun

      He does, that doesn’t mean he has any illusions about what it -is-.

  40. Reltzik

    It’s currently October in-comic.

    Indiana’s rainfall patterns are bimodal. One of the two peaks of precipitation is in November.

    … I sense something’s going to rain on the garbage parade.

    1. King Daniel

      “It’s the rain.”

  41. Teddae

    aww. this is the kind of friendship I aspire to have.

  42. Wright

    I went and looked in the archives – it’s now been four months since we last saw our pal Joe. Four months, when the last we saw of him was falling off the wagon with Malaya, being kicked out in an extremely disrespectful way. The last time someone spoke to him it was Sarah, wondering what he would learn from this.

    He wasn’t at class earlier today, either.

    Kinda concerned about ol’ Joe right now.

  43. Cute Carla

    ok, I totally want them to bang. happy to see a shipwreck afterwards, but there’s a lot of tension building up

  44. nlips

    It better at least last until the drive home!

  45. mister gray

    Is it weird that I ship them so hard?

    1. George

      Not at all. They’re kinda adorable together, and I feel like Walky would be good at not bringing the kind of social pressure Amber dislikes.

      1. thejeff

        Walky is however completely unprepared for all the baggage that comes with Amber. If this is going to turn into something beyond a casual garbage roof friendship, she owes him full disclosure.

  46. Bunk

    One thing I never got was why Willis always went to burritos for a go-to Taco Bell item. The Burrito Supreme is the absolute 100% worst most overrated item on the menu. I’m glad it was taken out of the boxes because it DID NOT BELONG.

    1. Bunk

      Give me Gordita or give me death

  47. HMH

    oh my god these amber and walky faces aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    1. Roe

      prime cuteness

  48. abysswatcher1993

    At least Walky is aware that Taco Bell is mediocre. Good tacos are Taco Palenque, Tacotote, etc.

  49. Mr.Morningstar

    Hm

    Dorothy and Danny Date
    Dorothy and Danny break up.
    Amber and Danny date
    Amber and Danny break up.

    Walky and Dorothy date
    Walky and Dorothy break up.
    Walky and Amber…?

    1. Dafydd

      Dinosaurs eat all the students
      Faz inherits the campus.

      1. JimmyP424

        Dina becomes dinosaur queen
        Faz and Dina…?

        I regret even typing that.

  50. Wendy

    Are Amber and Walky gonna get together, I wonder…! They do seem to have an actually positive effect on each other – they’re both very open with one another without trying to “hide” their negative sides, while supporting each other’s growth.

    Though I do think it’s funny that this is the second time Bland Harmless Kinda Wimpy Guy moves from Dorothy to Amber.

  51. Schpoonman

    Panel 4 with Amber looking slightly away is so fucking adorable, goddamn.

  52. ValdVin

    Very good job with the eyes, and the edge of Amber’s glasses.

  53. Clif

    Shipping. Shipping. Shipped.

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