See it? I was on it!
Used to do Extra working. Ms. Hewitt was incredibly sweet for the couple sentences she said to me and the other Extra I was paired with.
Shia Labeouf on Even Stevens, on the other hand… I have stories.
True Survivor
That is super cool. Maybe not the Shia Labeouf part but the other stuff is pretty rad.
Jflb96
How many of the cast never came back from their woodland walks?
Jeff K!
Hmm… Well, the entire other track team was only there for the first day of shoots, so I can assume they never came back from the woods!
When you said the BC whisperer, I thought of BC the person and was struggling mightily to make some kind of sense of it. Was it BC who was whispering? Was this supposed to indicate some kind of weird analogy between Roz and BC?
Roz being helpful out of nowhere despite her…Roziness, kinda reminds me of a Doctor Who fan cartoon where the Doctor has just regenerated into 13, remembers she has a letter from Missy in case that ever happens, and reads it.
The letter is nothing but a page of mad cackling…followed by “PS: Drink cranberry juice. Trust me.”
1: Inserting herself into a conversation not about her, with someone to whom she has never shown anything but abject hostility.
2: She gets it wrong, precisely because she doesn’t know jack about Joyce’s situation. Joyce needs to know about how long she should expect the meds to affect her menstrual pain, not the sexual information.
Basically, Roz is simply giving the info she thinks everyone should have, not necessarily the information they actually need, because she’s a narcissist who can’t see the world from any viewpoint but her own. Hell, Joyce isn’t likely to even remember these factoids if she does choose to become sexually active at some point, because they were dumped on her when she had no interest in them.
Then, of course, there’s the fact that she opted to do this info-dump in a crowded hallway where the class is letting out, despite Joyce clearly trying to phrase things in a very general fashion. Sure, Sarah was prodding for a more direct response, but she was leaving Joyce space to actually say it, even if she fully guessed what Joyce’s new Rx was.
The ‘same time every day’ is relevant to the overall effectiveness, including period regulation as much as pregnancy prevention. They’re not separate aspects of the medication, they’re just how it works, and it’s important info doctors might not think to give you.
And Joyce probably knows as little about STD prevention as she does about pregnancy prevention, based on my own religious upbringing. She can find answers in her own time, but it’s critical that she even knows there are questions she should be asking!
Archieve
It’s also important make sure important information is given in a way that respects privacy and gives the person agency. Blurting out someone prescription details without even bothering to ask what said person knows or if they are fine with that is not ok.
Laura
Yes, that was my thought. That her prescription was likely something Joyce had wanted to keep private, and that Roz’s blurting it out was like “outing” her in a crowded hallway. Almost like shaming her in front of her friends.
I’m also by no means sure that Joyce’s prescription actually is for hormonal contraceptive pills. It could be a prescription for a progesterone IUD. It could be a prescription for some other endocrine issue. It could be anti-inflammatory pain medication. It could be psychiatric medication. There are a lot of different types of treatment that Joyce might be wanting to keep private, especially with the nebulous “referral”.
The Wellerman, thank you for the nice shoutout. It’s nice to be thought of kindly.
Wishing warmth and gentleness to all who read this,
-your friend Laura.
Feathers
We can be pretty certain the prescription is for some sort of BC because Joyce is *so* ashamed about it – and it’s the first line treatment for problematic periods unless there’s a specific contraindication. It definitely *isn’t* for a progesterone IUD because IUDs often make periods even heavier and I think it’s pretty safe to assume that a female doctor wouldn’t make that basic blunder unless she had an ulterior motive, and I feel like “haha wow this random doctor just HAPPENS to be corrupt” is the most garbage of garbage writing.
Rose Red
Progestin IUDs make periods lighter. Copper IUDs make periods heavier.
Laura
Ehh. Many people are that secretive and ashamed about psychiatric medication and pain meds and muscle relaxers. An IUD would be particularly “shameful” because conserva-types often call it an “abortifacient” or an “abortion device”.
And a progestin IUD would make periods lighter — I’m getting one for that very reason.
But really, the prescription could be anything. Depends on what the underlying issue is. My money’s on the plot twist.
Needfuldoer
“Always take it at the same time every day” is good practice for daily medications in general.
Agemegos
Yeah, I take an antiarrhythmic twice per day, and it’s really not good to be even three hours late.
Yeah, for Roz to be a “better friend”, she’d have to be a friend at all, and Roz and Joyce have, to my knowledge, had literally no positive interactions before this, so, no, no dice.
I will say she is either A. giving advice about a topic she is passionate about because she wants it out there, or B. doing it as a flex to rub it in about Joyce reneging on her past stances. I am inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt that it’s A, plus I feel like it’s less likely to be B. because she wasn’t sly or sarcastic about throwing things in Joyce’s face in the past when he stance changed, she was outwardly hostile still. So, yeah, probably just Roz speaking from experience.
SeanR
There was that one time, post attempted rape.
Segnosaur
There was also the party that Joyce invited Roz to. When Joyce was asked why she was invited Joyce admitted that she trusts Roz and thinks it’s good that someone is willing to push her (if my memory serves me)
This is more akin to someone asking “I’m drawing a dinosaur, what should I do” in earshot of Dina. This is something she is both knowledgeable and passionate about.
Nah, this is a dick move on Roz’s part, clearly Joyce did not want to disclose what kind of meds she was taking it but Roz basically announced it because she wanted to sound smart
I don’t think it’s as bad as people are making it. She gave Joyce advice in earshot of two of her most trusted friends. It’s not like she shouted it out to the everyone nearby. It’s a bit obnoxious but so are most of the characters in DoA , even the likable ones.
Freemage
There are figures passing by in the background. These are, in all likelihood, other students from the same class, all pouring out into the hallway at once. Intro level class, mid-large school, figure 30-50 students, at least, all trying to get through the same doorway and down the hall. These are strangers and near-strangers passing in close proximity. And there’s no indication she’s using anything like a ‘private conversation’ voice, even if she’s not shouting it to the rooftops.
Sirksome
Are we really supposed to assume randos not even worth really drawing past shadows are both paying attention to a close proximity conversation over all the traffic noise and other assumed conversation, and also care enough about that conversation to comprehend and retain the subject matter?
Honestly it just seems like Joyce was a bit self conscious about her friends knowing which does make Roz obnoxious, but I doubt it’s gonna cause much strife for her overall.
Freemage
We’re not supposed to assume anything about them. My assumptions here are all about Joyce–namely, that she would not want some ‘randos’ hearing about what meds she’s on.
Whether or not those people are actually paying attention and listening is irrelevant to the fact that Roz has just managed to be worse about another person’s personal boundaries than Joyce at her worst.
Clif
Were was Becky while this was going on?
JBento
Telling Robin she and Dina have fucked.
SeanR
Chased off by Jennifer/Billie.
Archieve
Maybe not as bad as shouting but it still comes off as insensitive at best and passive aggressive at worst. Roz knows how to approach people quietly, she did that previously when giving Joyce a info for help if something bad happened at thst party. She could have easily approached Joyce after or offerd to message her but it’s like she just wanted to rub these facts in Joyce’s face. The look Joyce is giving her definatly makes Roz’s “congratulations and good luck” sound insincere.
Rex Vivat
It’s still not Roz’s call to make. Joyce was using evasive phrasing, read the room Roz
Autogatos
It’s not even just about it being private. It’s just really annoying to be given unsolicited medical advice. Because it usually tends to be the most basic obvious advice of the “first thing anyone would think to suggest” variety and you end up hearing the same thing over and over from dozens of people who somehow think they’re the first person ever to give you this advice that you couldn’t have possibly been told by a doctor or figured out yourself.
Just, don’t give people medical advice unless you are their doctor or they specifically ask for it, is a good rule of thumb. I say this as someone who has had to deal with this WAY too often.
Agemegos
Yep. Random acquaintances have been giving me bad stupid advice about my depression for thirty years.
ischemgeek
Complete strangers who see me using my rescue med are often very convinced Big Pharma is trying to turn me into a drug addict (not for these meds), think it’s some sort of gotcha to say I’m chemically dependent on my life saving meds (I mean, sure. It keeps me being alive and breathing so you get this one Randos), and are confident that a diet, acupuncture, yoga or mindfulness would let me go off meds entirely (nope, my lungs didn’t form right because I was born way too early, I can’t woo-woo my way out of what amounts to a mild congenital birth defect in my lungs.).
So sympathy. Can relate.
Often I get very petty and condescending if I can spare breath for it because condescending asshattery doesn’t deserve anything but a response in kind.
That said, Roz is better than most because she’s looking to inform about something stigmatized that doctors & pharmacists often gloss over, and her advice is accurate (the same time of day restriction is responsible for 2 of my younger relatives, and for me and at least one of our siblings). Joyce legitimately might not have been warned about this.
But I’m still putting her in the bad behaviour box because if you see someone who obviously doesn’t want to discuss a private health issue publicly you should not 1, out that health issue in public and 2, put they’re on a stigmatized med.
Agemegos
Also, one time that I had gout in my foot I had three separate people deliver extensive slabs of unsolicited advice about plantar fascitis, which they assumed I had just without my telling them anything or even, in one case, knowing who they were.
Shut up, medical ignoramuses! You do not know how to diagnose a disorder just because who had one once!
In my experience doctors aren’t likely to sit down and explain the possible side effects of meds. Eg, anti anxiety meds that ended up making me dizzy and screwed with my libido. Heart meds that made me tired and disinterested while making it hard for me to concentrate. If theyre not going to tell me that what makes you think they’d bother to tell Joyce anything useful? While Roz may have not been particularly discrete good on her for actually saying something.
I’m honestly kinda feeling … is this really Roz? Like, being helpful about the technical aspects of sex positivity, sure, definitely. Not a single snide word or any patronizing besides the unsolicited advice? Does not feel like Roz.
She offered unsolicited but extremely valuable advice to Joyce on counseling options after she was assaulted, and she wasn’t snarky or condescending then, either. Roz has many faults, but this is an area where she has previously shown to be straight-up helpful and not to get in her own way. This is one area where she seems to be good about withholding judgment.
I gotta say, this is good advice, delivered more bluntly and directly than most of Joyce’s friends would be willing to try, and it even tacitly conveys that Roz knows Joyce is likely going on BC for non-sex-related health reasons (even if she includes the relevant sex-related information anyway because Roz isn’t going to censor that part). It’s true that she wasn’t asked and it isn’t really her business…but *shrug* they were technically in public, she’s an outspoken advocate on reproductive health and safety, and while they aren’t friends, they’re also not strangers. Roz absolutely knows enough about Joyce to reasonably (and probably correctly) assume that the fundamentalist, evangelical Christian home-school upbringing that once prompted Joyce to tell Roz she was used goods for having pre-marital sex did not prepare her for using hormonal birth control for any reason, and that doctors don’t always tell you things you need to know about how to take the medications they prescribe. Her intent was clearly to be helpful and the impact is likely helpful, in the sense of giving Joyce essential information about managing her health she may very well not have had.
Tl;dr – unsolicited advice from people you aren’t close with can be helpful sometimes.
Roz brings out the snide and patronizing stuff when she’s trying to win rhetorically. Here she’s just trying to help, so she’s blunt and to the point
UrsulaDavina
Ending a statment “congratulations and good luck” then leaving without even having Joyce verbally acknowledge her still feels very condcending.
Taffy
Yeah, there’s an air of “Oh by the way, you should have already known this and been doing it, and this is a failure on your part”, not helped by her intense glare.
In theory, the doctor should give you all relevant information, and with any new medication you can also ask the pharmacist who’s filling the prescription for advice(they often are more aware than doctors of some of the intricacies of the meds). That said, what should happen and what does are often very different, and if you have practical experience of a med, sharing that info can be very helpful to someone who is just starting it.
What Viktoria said. Plus, this is set in Indiana. I wouldn’t be surprised if the doctor was very uninformative. Or, if they were informative, Joyce could have been not in the right headspace to soak it in. Either due to “oh my god birth control” or “oh my god I’m in so much pain and I cannot comprehend what this doctor is blathering about” or “oh no someone had to examine my capoodle I cannot even with this”.
Yumi
Or the doctor could have told Joyce all this, Joyce knew all this, and what Roz said was just a repeat of information Joyce had received from the doctor (minus the “Congratulations, and good luck” part, probably). It was just too sudden and unexpected for Joyce to jump in like, “Yeah, I got a pamphlet.”
I once had a very bad one try to tell me to use the rhythm method but accidentally explain it backwards (so the opposite of a birth control), dismissed my concerns when I said I had been hurting for over two months since I got my IUD because they don’t cause that (there was a problem and yes they can), AND recommended I use a specific brand of lube which turned out to not be pH balanced and ended up leaving me badly irratated. She worked at Planned Parenthood. I wish I was joking.
Pharmacist caught a potential allergy when I was picking up a prescription at 0200 after getting off work. I wasn’t technically allergic to the medication but I was allergic to a close relative and apparently they tend to have overlap with allergic reactions. Turns out I DID have a reaction to it. It was just a mild rash, but I will forever be grateful to that woman for catching it and advising me to either delay starting it or to stay overnight with a friend, just in case. I switched neurologists soon after that, needless to say.
StClair
It took me a moment to realize that you meant that you’re allergic to a similar medication, and not to (for example) a sibling, which would somehow cause you to have a reaction there.
Regardless of how good the doctor was, the pharmacist definitely would have handed her the standard info about the medication along with the prescription itself.
I don’t know whether she would have (or did) read it. I get the feeling those medication explainers are generally treated like a service’s Terms and Conditions. Which is a shame because those have always included relevant information that neither the doctor nor the pharmacist told me.
Those medical explainers are also written like terms and conditions, in that they are in tiny text and have to cover every little detail to the detriment of the overall important messages.
That came up earlier and there’s a pharmacist in the same building as the health center, so it’s basically like “go over to that counter to pick up the prescription I just wrote for you”. No reason not to do it right then and there.
Agemegos
Yeah, but we saw her say that she had a referral and a prescription, not a referral and a box of pills.
221 thoughts on “Private”
Ana Chronistic
the BC whisperer
True Survivor
Did you ever see that campy show “The Ghost Whisper” that was on in the late 2000s?
Jeff K!
See it? I was on it!
Used to do Extra working. Ms. Hewitt was incredibly sweet for the couple sentences she said to me and the other Extra I was paired with.
Shia Labeouf on Even Stevens, on the other hand… I have stories.
True Survivor
That is super cool. Maybe not the Shia Labeouf part but the other stuff is pretty rad.
Jflb96
How many of the cast never came back from their woodland walks?
Jeff K!
Hmm… Well, the entire other track team was only there for the first day of shoots, so I can assume they never came back from the woods!
Clif
When you said the BC whisperer, I thought of BC the person and was struggling mightily to make some kind of sense of it. Was it BC who was whispering? Was this supposed to indicate some kind of weird analogy between Roz and BC?
On a reread, I just now got it.
The Wellerman
“Blood in the water” is one way of putting it, yes. But this seems like it comes out of a place of compassion.
Like sharing helpful, potentially life-saving information with another human in need, reminds me of Laura actually, I LOVE that.
??? ?
*plays “Spirit Bomb Theme” from Dragon Ball Z CD on hacked muzak*
Doctor_Who
Roz being helpful out of nowhere despite her…Roziness, kinda reminds me of a Doctor Who fan cartoon where the Doctor has just regenerated into 13, remembers she has a letter from Missy in case that ever happens, and reads it.
The letter is nothing but a page of mad cackling…followed by “PS: Drink cranberry juice. Trust me.”
Freemage
Except this is still typical Roz:
1: Inserting herself into a conversation not about her, with someone to whom she has never shown anything but abject hostility.
2: She gets it wrong, precisely because she doesn’t know jack about Joyce’s situation. Joyce needs to know about how long she should expect the meds to affect her menstrual pain, not the sexual information.
Basically, Roz is simply giving the info she thinks everyone should have, not necessarily the information they actually need, because she’s a narcissist who can’t see the world from any viewpoint but her own. Hell, Joyce isn’t likely to even remember these factoids if she does choose to become sexually active at some point, because they were dumped on her when she had no interest in them.
Then, of course, there’s the fact that she opted to do this info-dump in a crowded hallway where the class is letting out, despite Joyce clearly trying to phrase things in a very general fashion. Sure, Sarah was prodding for a more direct response, but she was leaving Joyce space to actually say it, even if she fully guessed what Joyce’s new Rx was.
Lori
The ‘same time every day’ is relevant to the overall effectiveness, including period regulation as much as pregnancy prevention. They’re not separate aspects of the medication, they’re just how it works, and it’s important info doctors might not think to give you.
And Joyce probably knows as little about STD prevention as she does about pregnancy prevention, based on my own religious upbringing. She can find answers in her own time, but it’s critical that she even knows there are questions she should be asking!
Archieve
It’s also important make sure important information is given in a way that respects privacy and gives the person agency. Blurting out someone prescription details without even bothering to ask what said person knows or if they are fine with that is not ok.
Laura
Yes, that was my thought. That her prescription was likely something Joyce had wanted to keep private, and that Roz’s blurting it out was like “outing” her in a crowded hallway. Almost like shaming her in front of her friends.
I’m also by no means sure that Joyce’s prescription actually is for hormonal contraceptive pills. It could be a prescription for a progesterone IUD. It could be a prescription for some other endocrine issue. It could be anti-inflammatory pain medication. It could be psychiatric medication. There are a lot of different types of treatment that Joyce might be wanting to keep private, especially with the nebulous “referral”.
The Wellerman, thank you for the nice shoutout. It’s nice to be thought of kindly.
Wishing warmth and gentleness to all who read this,
-your friend Laura.
Feathers
We can be pretty certain the prescription is for some sort of BC because Joyce is *so* ashamed about it – and it’s the first line treatment for problematic periods unless there’s a specific contraindication. It definitely *isn’t* for a progesterone IUD because IUDs often make periods even heavier and I think it’s pretty safe to assume that a female doctor wouldn’t make that basic blunder unless she had an ulterior motive, and I feel like “haha wow this random doctor just HAPPENS to be corrupt” is the most garbage of garbage writing.
Rose Red
Progestin IUDs make periods lighter. Copper IUDs make periods heavier.
Laura
Ehh. Many people are that secretive and ashamed about psychiatric medication and pain meds and muscle relaxers. An IUD would be particularly “shameful” because conserva-types often call it an “abortifacient” or an “abortion device”.
And a progestin IUD would make periods lighter — I’m getting one for that very reason.
But really, the prescription could be anything. Depends on what the underlying issue is. My money’s on the plot twist.
Needfuldoer
“Always take it at the same time every day” is good practice for daily medications in general.
Agemegos
Yeah, I take an antiarrhythmic twice per day, and it’s really not good to be even three hours late.
GeekyWarrior
Yup, this is, yet again, a huge violation of Joyce’s privacy that is almost guaranteed to be ignored and steamrolled by her friends.
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
Via unsolicited advice, that is.
In her defense, they already know she’s a Jane Fonda wannabe and that tip about timing and effectiveness doesn’t hurt…
The Wellerman
That, and something tells me she learned at least a few of those lessons the hard way.
??????
Obviously not so pretty happening to someone like Roz or the next person. Imagine them happening to Joyce.
Sirksome
Is…is Roz suddenly a better friend than Becky?….Probably not but what if?
Doopyboop
Roz is just VERY sex positive and a strong supporter of birth control/safe sex. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/late/
DailyBrad
Yeah, for Roz to be a “better friend”, she’d have to be a friend at all, and Roz and Joyce have, to my knowledge, had literally no positive interactions before this, so, no, no dice.
I will say she is either A. giving advice about a topic she is passionate about because she wants it out there, or B. doing it as a flex to rub it in about Joyce reneging on her past stances. I am inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt that it’s A, plus I feel like it’s less likely to be B. because she wasn’t sly or sarcastic about throwing things in Joyce’s face in the past when he stance changed, she was outwardly hostile still. So, yeah, probably just Roz speaking from experience.
SeanR
There was that one time, post attempted rape.
Segnosaur
There was also the party that Joyce invited Roz to. When Joyce was asked why she was invited Joyce admitted that she trusts Roz and thinks it’s good that someone is willing to push her (if my memory serves me)
Thag Simmons
This is more akin to someone asking “I’m drawing a dinosaur, what should I do” in earshot of Dina. This is something she is both knowledgeable and passionate about.
crow
Nah, this is a dick move on Roz’s part, clearly Joyce did not want to disclose what kind of meds she was taking it but Roz basically announced it because she wanted to sound smart
Andy
Also because Roz immediately assumed Joyce would be taking it for sex reasons, which is even less of her business than what Joyce is taking
Reltzik
I didn’t read that as assuming. I read that as a “just in case” warning.
Dara
Wow I don’t read it that way at all. I read it as “This isn’t something you’re doing for sex reasons, but if you change your mind, here’s this.”
JBento
That was, textually and explicitly, definitely not an assumption Roz made.
Agemegos
Really? Where’s the explicit text that Roz actually knows what “new medication” Joyce is about to start?
Agemegos
Sorry, my mistake. You were referring to a different assumption.
ktbear
Pfp irony is ironic.
Thag Simmons
She very obviously is not assuming that
alongcameaspider
Had Joyce approached her for advice privately sure
Unsolicited advice is crappy, especially since it’s entirely likely that the doctor already went over this stuff with Joyce
Sirksome
I don’t think it’s as bad as people are making it. She gave Joyce advice in earshot of two of her most trusted friends. It’s not like she shouted it out to the everyone nearby. It’s a bit obnoxious but so are most of the characters in DoA , even the likable ones.
Freemage
There are figures passing by in the background. These are, in all likelihood, other students from the same class, all pouring out into the hallway at once. Intro level class, mid-large school, figure 30-50 students, at least, all trying to get through the same doorway and down the hall. These are strangers and near-strangers passing in close proximity. And there’s no indication she’s using anything like a ‘private conversation’ voice, even if she’s not shouting it to the rooftops.
Sirksome
Are we really supposed to assume randos not even worth really drawing past shadows are both paying attention to a close proximity conversation over all the traffic noise and other assumed conversation, and also care enough about that conversation to comprehend and retain the subject matter?
Honestly it just seems like Joyce was a bit self conscious about her friends knowing which does make Roz obnoxious, but I doubt it’s gonna cause much strife for her overall.
Freemage
We’re not supposed to assume anything about them. My assumptions here are all about Joyce–namely, that she would not want some ‘randos’ hearing about what meds she’s on.
Whether or not those people are actually paying attention and listening is irrelevant to the fact that Roz has just managed to be worse about another person’s personal boundaries than Joyce at her worst.
Clif
Were was Becky while this was going on?
JBento
Telling Robin she and Dina have fucked.
SeanR
Chased off by Jennifer/Billie.
Archieve
Maybe not as bad as shouting but it still comes off as insensitive at best and passive aggressive at worst. Roz knows how to approach people quietly, she did that previously when giving Joyce a info for help if something bad happened at thst party. She could have easily approached Joyce after or offerd to message her but it’s like she just wanted to rub these facts in Joyce’s face. The look Joyce is giving her definatly makes Roz’s “congratulations and good luck” sound insincere.
Rex Vivat
It’s still not Roz’s call to make. Joyce was using evasive phrasing, read the room Roz
Autogatos
It’s not even just about it being private. It’s just really annoying to be given unsolicited medical advice. Because it usually tends to be the most basic obvious advice of the “first thing anyone would think to suggest” variety and you end up hearing the same thing over and over from dozens of people who somehow think they’re the first person ever to give you this advice that you couldn’t have possibly been told by a doctor or figured out yourself.
Just, don’t give people medical advice unless you are their doctor or they specifically ask for it, is a good rule of thumb. I say this as someone who has had to deal with this WAY too often.
Agemegos
Yep. Random acquaintances have been giving me bad stupid advice about my depression for thirty years.
ischemgeek
Complete strangers who see me using my rescue med are often very convinced Big Pharma is trying to turn me into a drug addict (not for these meds), think it’s some sort of gotcha to say I’m chemically dependent on my life saving meds (I mean, sure. It keeps me being alive and breathing so you get this one Randos), and are confident that a diet, acupuncture, yoga or mindfulness would let me go off meds entirely (nope, my lungs didn’t form right because I was born way too early, I can’t woo-woo my way out of what amounts to a mild congenital birth defect in my lungs.).
So sympathy. Can relate.
Often I get very petty and condescending if I can spare breath for it because condescending asshattery doesn’t deserve anything but a response in kind.
That said, Roz is better than most because she’s looking to inform about something stigmatized that doctors & pharmacists often gloss over, and her advice is accurate (the same time of day restriction is responsible for 2 of my younger relatives, and for me and at least one of our siblings). Joyce legitimately might not have been warned about this.
But I’m still putting her in the bad behaviour box because if you see someone who obviously doesn’t want to discuss a private health issue publicly you should not 1, out that health issue in public and 2, put they’re on a stigmatized med.
Agemegos
Also, one time that I had gout in my foot I had three separate people deliver extensive slabs of unsolicited advice about plantar fascitis, which they assumed I had just without my telling them anything or even, in one case, knowing who they were.
Shut up, medical ignoramuses! You do not know how to diagnose a disorder just because who had one once!
ktbear
In my experience doctors aren’t likely to sit down and explain the possible side effects of meds. Eg, anti anxiety meds that ended up making me dizzy and screwed with my libido. Heart meds that made me tired and disinterested while making it hard for me to concentrate. If theyre not going to tell me that what makes you think they’d bother to tell Joyce anything useful? While Roz may have not been particularly discrete good on her for actually saying something.
Norah
Not better, especially, just more knowledgeable about sexual and the reproductive system, and without the brainwashing Becky went through growing up.
Jamie
I’m honestly kinda feeling … is this really Roz? Like, being helpful about the technical aspects of sex positivity, sure, definitely. Not a single snide word or any patronizing besides the unsolicited advice? Does not feel like Roz.
I’m a little impressed?
Cerusee
She offered unsolicited but extremely valuable advice to Joyce on counseling options after she was assaulted, and she wasn’t snarky or condescending then, either. Roz has many faults, but this is an area where she has previously shown to be straight-up helpful and not to get in her own way. This is one area where she seems to be good about withholding judgment.
I gotta say, this is good advice, delivered more bluntly and directly than most of Joyce’s friends would be willing to try, and it even tacitly conveys that Roz knows Joyce is likely going on BC for non-sex-related health reasons (even if she includes the relevant sex-related information anyway because Roz isn’t going to censor that part). It’s true that she wasn’t asked and it isn’t really her business…but *shrug* they were technically in public, she’s an outspoken advocate on reproductive health and safety, and while they aren’t friends, they’re also not strangers. Roz absolutely knows enough about Joyce to reasonably (and probably correctly) assume that the fundamentalist, evangelical Christian home-school upbringing that once prompted Joyce to tell Roz she was used goods for having pre-marital sex did not prepare her for using hormonal birth control for any reason, and that doctors don’t always tell you things you need to know about how to take the medications they prescribe. Her intent was clearly to be helpful and the impact is likely helpful, in the sense of giving Joyce essential information about managing her health she may very well not have had.
Tl;dr – unsolicited advice from people you aren’t close with can be helpful sometimes.
ktbear
Thank you Cerusee. Fully agree.
Thag Simmons
Roz brings out the snide and patronizing stuff when she’s trying to win rhetorically. Here she’s just trying to help, so she’s blunt and to the point
UrsulaDavina
Ending a statment “congratulations and good luck” then leaving without even having Joyce verbally acknowledge her still feels very condcending.
Taffy
Yeah, there’s an air of “Oh by the way, you should have already known this and been doing it, and this is a failure on your part”, not helped by her intense glare.
True Survivor
Sometimes I worry “Sounds private. What is it?” is far too close to how I sometimes conduct conversations.
brionl
Doesn’t the doctor have a pamphlet to give you or something?
Viktoria
In theory, the doctor should give you all relevant information, and with any new medication you can also ask the pharmacist who’s filling the prescription for advice(they often are more aware than doctors of some of the intricacies of the meds). That said, what should happen and what does are often very different, and if you have practical experience of a med, sharing that info can be very helpful to someone who is just starting it.
Doopyboop
What Viktoria said. Plus, this is set in Indiana. I wouldn’t be surprised if the doctor was very uninformative. Or, if they were informative, Joyce could have been not in the right headspace to soak it in. Either due to “oh my god birth control” or “oh my god I’m in so much pain and I cannot comprehend what this doctor is blathering about” or “oh no someone had to examine my capoodle I cannot even with this”.
Yumi
Or the doctor could have told Joyce all this, Joyce knew all this, and what Roz said was just a repeat of information Joyce had received from the doctor (minus the “Congratulations, and good luck” part, probably). It was just too sudden and unexpected for Joyce to jump in like, “Yeah, I got a pamphlet.”
Bluewind
I once had a very bad one try to tell me to use the rhythm method but accidentally explain it backwards (so the opposite of a birth control), dismissed my concerns when I said I had been hurting for over two months since I got my IUD because they don’t cause that (there was a problem and yes they can), AND recommended I use a specific brand of lube which turned out to not be pH balanced and ended up leaving me badly irratated. She worked at Planned Parenthood. I wish I was joking.
Savail
Pharmacist caught a potential allergy when I was picking up a prescription at 0200 after getting off work. I wasn’t technically allergic to the medication but I was allergic to a close relative and apparently they tend to have overlap with allergic reactions. Turns out I DID have a reaction to it. It was just a mild rash, but I will forever be grateful to that woman for catching it and advising me to either delay starting it or to stay overnight with a friend, just in case. I switched neurologists soon after that, needless to say.
StClair
It took me a moment to realize that you meant that you’re allergic to a similar medication, and not to (for example) a sibling, which would somehow cause you to have a reaction there.
Caro
Joyce might have already been told those things or have a pamphlet. Roz has no way of knowing though lol
Rectilinear Propagation
Regardless of how good the doctor was, the pharmacist definitely would have handed her the standard info about the medication along with the prescription itself.
I don’t know whether she would have (or did) read it. I get the feeling those medication explainers are generally treated like a service’s Terms and Conditions. Which is a shame because those have always included relevant information that neither the doctor nor the pharmacist told me.
Clif
Joyce knows how to use the Internet. Hopefully this includes finding credible sources on the Internet.
Deathjavu
Those medical explainers are also written like terms and conditions, in that they are in tiny text and have to cover every little detail to the detriment of the overall important messages.
Agemegos
I don’t think Joyce has been to the pharmacy yet.
thejeff
That came up earlier and there’s a pharmacist in the same building as the health center, so it’s basically like “go over to that counter to pick up the prescription I just wrote for you”. No reason not to do it right then and there.
Agemegos
Yeah, but we saw her say that she had a referral and a prescription, not a referral and a box of pills.