223

Privy
Posted on October 4, 2013 by David M Willis

223 thoughts on “Privy”

  1. Jen Aside

    “So, I’m… special?”

    1. Fay

      Yes. Yes you are.

    2. Wonder Wig

      “I gotta have some of your attention. Give it to me.”

      1. David Herbert

        “I got rhythm, I can’t miss a beat. “

    3. Aizat

      Yes Billie, you are S.P.E.C.I.A.L.

      1. Kirt Dankmyer

        Billie is Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility and Luck?

        1. The Candyman

          Well, she’s certainly Endurance.

    4. Wack'd

      You’re so fucking special. And I’m a freak….

      1. Boom

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXlzci1rKNM

        1. mysss

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nof6S6K9t6E

      2. JustcallmeSoul

        I’m a Weirdo-o-o-o-o

        1. Lamachine

          what the hell am i doing here?!

        2. PureFedora

          I don’t belong here……

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      “Billie, I dub thee Ms Special Snowflake.”

      1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        As our new Fire Lord, that is your prerogative, your Highness.

  2. Vivvav

    Damn you Willis. Stop ending weeks on things that aren’t punchli-
    Oh right, we get comics on weekends too now. I forget that sometimes.

    1. rachel

      I knowwww I got really excited too when I remembered!

  3. hey nonnie nonnie

    Excellent bonding, this call for a drink!

    1. Cheryl

      You are bad

    2. Kyrros

      I’d like to iron that patch…

  4. Doctor_Who

    She hasn’t seen Pirate Ruth or Space Ruth yet. Those are being saved for a special occasion.

    1. Yotomoe

      Cowboy Ruth is being saved for Billie’s birthday.

      1. BlueRam

        At what point do we see Super Kawaii Moe desu Ruth?

        1. Doctor_Who

          She only appears in fanfic.

          Though I suppose if Ruth got on anti-depressants we might catch a glimpse before she gets the dosage right.

        2. Aizat

          Never, that “thing” stays in the vault…alongside Creepy Clown Ruth.

        3. Doctor_Who

          I demand fanart of Creepy Clown Ruth.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          You mean Juggalo Ruth right?

        5. Keroshino

          Nope, “Pennywise” Ruth! 😀

        6. Aizat

          Did someone say Pennywise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEnEJrHLooY

        7. The kid

          I think a Dr. Whiteface Ruth would keep Billie up all night…With nightmares!

          …and possibly puns.

        8. nothri

          You kidding me? Creepy Clown Ruth is Ruth bored on a thursday night.

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        Re: Cowboy Ruth is being saved for Billie’s birthday.

        Along with the riding crop and harness …

        1. Tom T.

          You’re thinking of Reverse Cowboy Ruth.

        2. saltchocolate

          Your grav. Perfect for this.

        3. Tenn

          “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE RUTH!”

    2. Aizat

      Or Steel Warrior Ruth but that only happens when the planets aligned and the moon turns blue…and when they release a sequel to Shin Mazinger…and Half-Life 3….and Shenmue 3…and Starcraft Ghost.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        But if Ruth gets a talking cat, we can have “Pretty Soldier Sailor Ruth”!

        1. Aizat

          Steel Warrior Ruth gets a War Tiger.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          Let’s give her a miniature panda and see if she turns into an alchemist!

        3. Aizat

          But Alchemist Ruth comes with Howard losing his entire body and now is Living Armor.

        4. Ancestral Hamster

          That provides plot threads and character motivation. Forward the storyline!

    3. Oxyvolt

      You forgot about Lolicon Ruth. Worst Ruth of them all.

      1. Aizat

        That goes in the vault.

        1. That Damn Rat

          No, that goes in the furnace.

        2. Aizat

          Can’t we just throw the vault in the furnace?

        3. ninja_jesus

          No, that goes in the closet with Ethan. At least we know he won’t touch her, and he’s strong enough to protect her. Ethan-oniichan.

      2. thinkingofthechildren

        You are a bad person.

      3. Keroshino

        Come on, we were all thinking it…Oxyvolt was just the only one brave enough to say it! 😉

        1. LS

          Brave enough or perverse enough (not that I didn’t wish I’d thought of it first)?

    4. brionl

      Sorry, Pirates are ruthless. She has to be a Ninja instead.

      1. xKiv

        She’s both Ruth and Ruthless, so ninja pirate. Just add zombie robot and you are done.

  5. David Herbert

    So is she thinking “Aww, she trust me, how sweet” or “She needs a hug”?

    1. Wack'd

      Probably a little of both.

    2. John

      She’s thinking, “Damn, Ruth’s got a sweet ass … wait, is she still talking?”

      1. Norj

        No she’s thinking I want to see Ruth’s O face.

        1. John

          Isn’t Ruth’s face she’s looking at.

        2. GrrArg42

          FAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

        3. Josh

          Femurs*

  6. Yotomoe

    Well not all of them. You still don’t know I’m Amazi-girl.

    1. NightmareWarden

      “Oh REALLY? Besides her fists, what is her Amazi-weapon of choice?”

      1. BlueRam

        Amazi-femurs of course.

        1. NightmareWarden

          Are they connected with cartilage to make Lemur-nunchucks?

        2. Wack'd

          ZOBOOMAFOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

        3. The Candyman

          I get this reference. And that makes me happy.

        4. Badeyes

          This would be so easy to make with a couple hose clamps and a pair of lemurs.

          “Ow OW OWWWW SHIT %$$@GF#$^#$ QUIT BITING ME YOU LITTLE #@!$@#$!!! ”
          “Hey… what are those penguins holding over there? Looks like a tiny RPG?!?!?”

        5. NightmareWarden

          Err, FEMUR-nunchucks. Although, lemurs could be her animal companion… This idea has potential!

        6. Ocbrad1

          Akshully, probably amazi-boobs.

    2. taekwondogirl

      Damnit, Yotomoe. That joke should be dead!

      1. Roborat

        It is undead. It is a zombie joke.

  7. Mr. Random

    I’m Billie to some people, not the sexuality, but I seem to attract people’s personal revelations. It’s like a weird super power.

    1. Yotomoe

      My power is to be equally awesome and awful simultaneousely.

      1. ninja_jesus

        I think that having the power to give people personal revelations would be the single-most deadly thing in the world.

        1. Shade

          Yes. With this power, we can reduce the world to a simpering mess, and then remake it in a better image.

    2. Barf Ninjason

      Are you kind of bonkers and people implicitly trust you because of it? Cuz I got that too.

      1. Mr. Random

        Slightly, it’ said combination of if I talked not many people would believe me since I just say outlandish stuff to be funny, I don’t actually seem like someone who’d talk, and they really, REALLY need to talk.

      2. Wack'd

        It’s the reverse for me. I attract these revelations because I somehow manage to be the sanest person in any group of friends I have, like a perpetual sitcom protagonist. It’s kind of weird.

        1. Tryatt

          I know how you feel.

        2. Roborat

          And that laughtrack probably gets really annoying.

    3. rachel

      I once taught the noble llama to mix plaster!

  8. spriteless

    Oh man Billy’s like “but I can’t be responsible for another person”

    1. AgentKeen

      “Crap, shit just got real….

      I need booze! oh wait…”

      1. Yotomoe

        And that’s when Billie started smoking weed.

        1. Lavaticmay

          Enter Sarah with bat

        2. Aizat

          While singing “Lucy’s in the sky with diamonds”.

        3. Doctor_Who

          Lucy’s gonna make an appearance? And she brought diamonds?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          The William Shatner version.

        5. Aizat

          And then followed up with William Shatner’s version of Rocket Man.

        6. saltchocolate

          … Can’t … unhear… ow ow ow…

        7. ninja_jesus

          @saltchocolate: ROCK… IT… MAN!

        8. AgentKeen

          So it turns into something like this:
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXdiXK_yHfM

        9. The kid

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hTtsqiFCc

          you are welcome.

    2. Aizat

      “I can’t be responsible for another person, I’m barely responsible for myself.”

      1. Cholma

        That’s *my* mantra.

        1. Wack'd

          My mantra is “if you’re wondering how he eats and breaths, and other science facts, just repeat to yourself ‘it’s just a show, I should really just relax’.

        2. Cholma

          Everday at midnight Eastern time, do you also yell: “COMIC SIGN! WE’VE GOT COMIC SIGN!”

        3. Wack'd

          No, because I don’t view reading Dumbing of Age as inescapable torture the likes of which I can only survive by mocking it.

        4. John

          That’s for Roomies!

    3. AI

      I think hat billie has state previously that she’s used to being alpha-bongo/mother hen.

  9. Darbs

    I just love Billie’s face in the last panel, like, “Oh shit, I’m her closest friend. Now what?”

    1. Yotomoe

      Her closest lover.

    2. NightmareWarden

      7 minutes in heaven?

      1. BlueRam

        It’s going to take a lot longer than seven minutes to get to heaven the way they’re doing it.

        1. John

          They’re following Dante’s route.

        2. saltchocolate

          Winner of tonight’s internet!!

    3. John

      In a moment, she’ll realize that Ruth’s still a step up from her previous best friend.

  10. Aizat

    Wait, Ruth is into girls?

    1. Barf Ninjason

      Well, there’s this one where Billie asks, “what AMI I to you?!” or something and Ruth launches a wild kiss attack that I totally don’t replay in my head all the time, and I figured Ruth was a lesbian or bisexual fictitious beautiful redheaded girl person*, but her implication in this comic seems to be that shoving her mouth junk on Billie’s was a wild impulse and she had not realized her attraction to the ladies previously.

      *”G’lahhhh” – Homer Simpson

    2. matthewgm

      Yeah, hence the whole awkward but adorable kiss. But, it remains to be seen if she and Billie are going to be an item. Of course, sexuality isn’t always black and white, and people sometimes change their orbits (though there’s nothing wrong with whatever orientation you are!)

    3. John

      She’s into Billie, anyway. But who isn’t?

      (Sal. Much to Billie’s disappointment.)

      1. Aizat

        I told you, Billie is secretly an asari.

        1. Norj

          What would her and Ruth’s offspring be like?

        2. David Willis

          http://25.media.tumblr.com/23a0dc39280eff79c9a66d72611e08e8/tumblr_mknxb8Kj0B1qkinreo8_1280.png

        3. Rutee

          …I can’t say I’m the most up on all your work, but I’m pretty sure that makes even less sense.

        4. ninja_jesus

          OOOOHHHH MYYYYY GOD

          MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

        5. K

          That is seriously the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen QuQ

        6. Jackson

          Someone get a mop for the exploded remnants of my mind.

        7. Narf

          YES
          YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

          YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

          *rolls around cackling with glee*

        8. Jack Finch

          They must clone or whatever they would have to do. It has to happen. Destiny. Destiny. No Escaping Destiny. Destiny. Destiny. No escaping Destiny!

        9. nothri

          Oh hey, its the unspoken one.

        10. John

          Isn’t fair posting that when we can’t say her name.

  11. i300

    Aww 🙂

  12. Pizzathehutt

    Billies got that look like “Oh thats right! She’s into chicks!…aw crap.”

  13. caesaria82

    Is squeeeeeee the correct reaction? I’m not sure. But, like… squeeeeeee.

  14. Pyr05

    “You might be privy to all my sides, but Bobby Whiskey has known ever since I took my first drink.”

    1. Yotomoe

      My good pal, Jack Daniels, has been with me through thick and thin.

      1. RobHagen

        What about Johnny Walker and his cousins Black, Red and Blue?

      2. Pizzathehutt

        You know him too! I should introduce you to my other friend Captain Morgan. 😀

        1. Kiggy

          Let me introduce you to my pal, Don Q.

          I hear he’s smoother than Bacardi.

        2. Cholma

          Surely Billie is aware that Ruth is Bad To [her] Bones.
          FEMURRRRS!

        3. Mr. Random

          Oh Captain, my Captain!

        4. ninja_jesus

          Which is what Billie would be shouting at Halloween with Ruth in her aforementioned Pirate Ruth outfit.

  15. Jay Eff

    I want an iron-on patch, too!

    1. Aizat

      I want an iron patch.

    2. EvergreenFir

      Billie can replace the D on her RAGONS jacket with it

      1. Aizat

        So, what you’re saying is that Billie wants a D….for her jacket?

        1. Yotomoe

          Well if she doesn’t get the D, all the other girls will RAG ON her.

        2. vsophi

          +1

        3. ninja_jesus

          That sounds disgusting depending on what kind of “rag” we’re talking about.

        4. Narf

          I knew someone would say it.

        5. EvergreenFir

          She asked Danny for his D. Would that make him Anny?

        6. That Damn Rat

          only if he gave it to her, and he didn’t

        7. begbert2

          And now we know why – he didn’t want to suddenly break out into song.

  16. David

    Annnnnnnnnd…pow, right in the guts

  17. Giant Speck

    So, she’s kind of like Sarah now.

    1. NightmareWarden

      None of the characters like her, but we all love her? That DOES sound like Sarah!

      1. timemonkey

        Pretty sure the only person who doesn’t like Sarah, of the main cast, is Billy.

        1. begbert2

          And from the minor cast, she’s stalked by bullies.

  18. RobHagen

    This Ship. It floats…. 🙂

    1. Bloody_Jerk

      Gently down the Shippers Stream…

      1. AI

        i lost this leg in the shipping wars.

    2. Keroshino

      This ship is Unsinkable! 😀

      1. The Candyman

        Willis will take this as a challenge, I know it.

        1. Bloody_Jerk

          Why did you say that? All my hopes, and dreams… and Fantasies!

  19. Lavaticmay

    “Wait, you like girls? I thought that was just another form of your bullying?”

    1. saltchocolate

      “Wait — am *I* one of the girls you *like*?”

    2. ninja_jesus

      Hey, if she were into guys, I wouldn’t mind her bullying me.

  20. hmrc4evr

    I really hope they finally discuss the elephant that has been following them around for the last few weeks (i.e. since Botcon for me cause I asked Willis about this there).

    Hope we see them talk about that so we can get an idea where Billie stands.

    ( and que sexual position jokes in 3…2..1…)

    1. bustagus

      Nope.

      The sexual position jokes aren’t FOR you.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Yes; they’re for Billie and Ruth, one of which will be standing with a strap-on behind the other. SEXUAL POSITION JOKES!

  21. EvergreenFir

    Anyone worried about Howard following old-Ruth’s fate?

    1. Aizat

      Don’t worry, Willis assured us yesterday that it’s not going to happen through a Doctor Who GIF….oh wait.

      1. EvergreenFir

        I’m ashamed to say, but I know little about Doctor Who… what’s the “oh wait” for

        1. Aizat

          First rule: The Doctor lies.

        2. Heavensrun

          That’s an eleven thing, tho. The one that he quoted was nine.

        3. Aizat

          But remember, the Doctor has been around since forever, who’s to say he haven’t been doing that since before Eleven.

        4. Heavensrun

          Because I’ve been watching Doctor Who since four, and “The Doctor Lies” was never a thing until Eleven. ;p

        5. RobHagen

          Ah, but he might not tell the whole truth *points at the Seventh and his manipulations*

  22. GoSpeedRumpist

    Now… kiss?

  23. Kirstizoe

    Cannot even handle how much them I want them together. THEY ARE THE WARMEST OF FUZZIEZ (with the biggest of dramas)

  24. Gottawonder

    EvergreenFir, yeah, I posted about Howards fate yesterday.
    As far as today …. wow. So Ruth opened up bigtime…and scared Billie spitless?
    They’re cute in their own screwed up ways and here’s hoping they get it on.

    1. EvergreenFir

      amen

  25. Arkadi

    You know her weak points, Billie. Now abuse that power.

    1. Norj

      Do what Leslie would do when she starts abusing power.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “Sweet Billie’s Ass!”

        1. Aizat

          If you mean it literally, no. Billie’s ass taste like Jack Daniels.

  26. ridtom

    A lot of faces, but tell me Ruth which one is real!?

    1. begbert2

      This one: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/pizza/

  27. Bloody_Jerk

    Almost as worthy as the Medal of Honor. Just that you only can fly for free to Canada and not the whole world.

    I’m happy, that this is a Webcomic. In the real World, that wouldn’t mean a thing and a person like Billie would most likely don’t give two shits about that and Ruth would be a very, very lonely person.
    I know that, because I share a lot of Ruth’s character features, not all of them, of course, but I know, that this kinda people tend to be left out.

    On the other Side, I saw what Willis did to his readers through the comics, so I’m not sure, if everyone will be as happy as it could be….

  28. saltchocolate

    Billie is processing so much stuff at once, she couldn’t walk and process at the same time. Specifically:

    1) Ruth has let me get closer to her than maybe anyone else.
    2) Ruth didn’t know she liked girls until she suddenly had an overwhelming urge to kiss ME.
    3) Ruth just told me that she likes me.
    4) Ruth ALREADY told her brother that she likes me!!

    Conclusion: Billie may not move from that spot for hours.

  29. Super Duper

    I’m a RUTH! Ruth’s have layers!

    1. Boom

      Like a cake! Except it makes you cry. Like an onion! Except onion’s aren’t as tasty.

      1. KingMabel

        But everyone likes parfaits! Parfaits are delicious.

  30. Emoroffle

    Hug her Billie. Let the moment take over.

  31. Jo

    But can she be privy to her privies?

  32. Rufus Saltus

    Wait, did Ruth only realize she was lesbian when she became attracted to Billie?
    I know Howard didn’t know (making me realize that Ruth came out to him by telling him, “I saw her first,”) but wasn’t clear if she knew before herself.

    1. vsophi

      I’m pretty sure Ruth is not a lesbian.

      1. Keroshino

        she is straight. with an exception.

        …and that exception is Billie!

        1. taekwondogirl

          She’s probably bi.

        2. pyrophobia

          She’s a dominate-sexual – she’s attracted to those who she has to work to subdue.
          Billie is a challenge she particularly… enjoys.

        3. taekwondogirl

          …That makes way too much sense to not be true.

        4. John

          Billie is the only person of either sex in any universe that Ruth has demonstrated a definite attraction to (I’m not counting Ryan because of the way she responded to their encounter), so, by the evidence, it looks more like “asexual with an exception”. Maybe she’s just Billiesexual.

      2. Leonou

        Do you have evidence to support that statement ?

        Because up till now, she’s only shown interested to (one) girl. And when Howard asked her about it, she did not correct him. She only said that wether she was hetero, lesbo, bi or watev wasn’t the biggest deal in her life.
        And my understanding of Willis’s comments on Tumblr is that she’s definitely lesbian.

        1. Leonou

          Still, Pyrophobia is making quite a strong case with his “dominate-sexual” hypothesis.

        2. David Willis

          I have corrected people multiple times on Tumblr when they have said Ruth is a lesbian. She is attracted to both sexes.

          (Mind, as of yet, she hasn’t claimed a sexual identity either way, but “lesbian” is not terribly accurate in absence of that.)

        3. Leonou

          I stand corrected.

  33. Crumplepunch

    Yaaaaaay?

  34. acher4

    Truly i have come to love this pairing, they seem so nice together. 😀

    Oh crap, Willis is surely goign to break them up downt he road, isn’t he? 🙁

    1. TaintedSpud

      Or murder one of them in a horrible fashion.

      Willis drinks your tears and excretes shadenfreude.

      1. Bill

        S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q45x4EOEPI

  35. vsophi

    i love you ruth

  36. Leonou

    I’m starting to like Ruth’s character more and more.
    I totally ship them, they’re so, so …. Squeeeeeeee !

    Great strip.

  37. Miles Dryden

    HUG HER.

  38. Schist

    Guh, after seeing the head shapes thing on Tumblr, all of their heads are being categorized in my head -_-

    1. Luzahn

      I started to do that, but then I laughed about the Howard Box and it stopped.

  39. Jack Finch

    This ship has all kinds of potential for trouble and for them being good for each other, or not. I predict heavy seas.

  40. TJ Baltimore

    Ruth puts on a lot of FAAACEs!

    1. Narf

      I think this is a solid indication that this joke’s finally dead.

      1. Norj

        I’ll help bury the body.

        1. Narf

          *gets a pickaxe & shovel*

  41. Pinja

    KISS HER YOU FOOL!

  42. owltawny

    I love this pairing so much.

  43. Robin

    Achievement unlocked!

  44. ninja_jesus

    Ohhhh, yeah; Ruth is totally the girl in this relationship. Mmm.

  45. dropded

    If you asked me a month ago I would have said my favorite thing about DoA was the relationship between Dorothy and Joyce, but now I think it’s a dead heat between that and whatever Billie and Ruth’s relationship is becoming.

  46. JHTriune

    Dang, even that last panel made me blush a bit.

  47. Darnel

    From where I’m from,… that would normally be an invite to get naked,…
    I wonder if people still use such ancient societal clues like – “Only you understand me – come an’ get it?”

  48. Jack Finch

    Sooooo….how’d you like to see me without my…uh…mask on?

  49. All Else Fails

    <(Is…that supposed to be a good thing?)

  50. Charles Phipps

    MORE HOWARD!

  51. nothri

    Huh. So Ruth kissing Billie wasn’t a “I am being a horrible manipulative abusive person hoping to win your affections vie stockhomish tactics” and more “I’m so emotionally stunted that I try to attract your affections like an 8 year old boy yanking on a girl’s hair in preschool”. I…guess that’s an improvement?

    1. Robin

      Wait, what gave you the impression it was the first?

  52. ninja_jesus

    I’m sorry, but every time I see Ruth and Billie together, all I can hear is Electric Feel playing in my head. Forever.

    Billie x Ruth is my OTP.

  53. Vree

    Dramatic narrative now demands that Billie dies in the next panel.

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