139

Prosecuted
Posted on December 30, 2017 by David M Willis

139 thoughts on “Prosecuted”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    sounds fine to me!

    [/doesn’t actually hate birthdays so much as eyerolls them ever since I stopped sharing one with a sitting president]

    1. toby

      Were you also born on August 4, or is it a different president than the one I’m thinking of?

      1. Reltzik

        July 6? June 12? August 19? October 1? February 6?

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          The birthday in question is January 7. (Turns out that Ana is one of the Undead.)

        2. Deanatay

          Could be February 12! (That statue of Abe Lincoln is ALWAYS sitting.)

        3. CleverTrousers

          bad dumb tish

        4. CleverTrousers

          Honestly, if anybody ever knocks that dude down then that would make a pretty good Jeopardy question.

          “Though he lost his only senate race by five votes, he became a giant of another branch of government, sitting as president for ninety-five consecutive years.”

        5. Reltzik

          Ana, you share the same birthday as Mallard Fillmore?

          …. you poor, poor dear.

        6. Yumi

          Do you mean Millard Fillmore or does that awful cartoon duck also have that birthday?

        7. Reltzik

          The latter.

          ….. at least, so I imagine.

    2. Kamino Neko

      February 12?

  2. Shiro

    Kitten Ruth Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

  3. Mr. Random

    See, even the characters in your comic are noticing the cricket deserves to live.
    #TagTheCricket

    1. Durandal_1707

      I’m on board with this. Tag that cricket!

    2. Undrave

      #TagTheCricket!!!

    3. HeySo

      I’m in full support of Crackit the Cricket.

      1. Tev

        His name is actually Tag.

        1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Nah, his name is Test. Test Cricket. 🙂

        2. Agemegos

          No-one is going to get that.

          (Go Steve Smith!)

        3. zathael

          WHY IS NO ONE SAYING JIMINY!?!

        4. Roborat

          Too obvious.

    4. Ansel

      Willis is clearly trying to trick us into thinking the cricket is insignificant. Once he has his important, dramatic moment in the narrative, Willis will go back and tag these pages

  4. shadowcell

    “Dr. Lessick! now might be a really good time for you to think about murder.”

    “that’s my secret, Billie. i’m always thinking about murder.”

    [murder ensues]

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      If I understand correctly, the book that the current strip will be in begins with the storyline Face the Strange. So by Laidlaw’s Rule the first strip in that storyline needs to be retroactively changed as follows:

      Panel 3 (in texts):
      Billie: You going to be okay without me?
      Ruth: You’re still nearby. It’s no big deal.
      Billie: See you tomorrow.

      Panel 4:
      Narrator voice: And then the murders began.

    2. Bast

      Someone’s been watching Avengers.

  5. Leorale

    I want to see Dina’s birthday, that sounds delightful.

    1. Leorale

      (Whereas Sarah probably just wants everyone to forget about hers.)

      1. JessWitt

        Not if Joyce has anything to do with it.

    2. Deanatay

      *at 4:30 in the morning, Dina’s parents materialize behind the door*
      Dina’s mother: Daughter, you are now 19.
      Dina’s father: Congratulations and well done.
      Dina: Thank you, my parents.
      *polite bows all around*
      *Dina’s parents disappear behind door again*
      Becky (from bunk): Huh? Wuh wuzzat?
      Dina: $500 has been transferred to my back account, so that I may buy me something nice.
      Becky: Why?
      Dina: I have passed a significant milestone.
      Becky: Huh… so whatcha gonna buy with it?
      Dina: Stegosaurus hoodie.

      1. abramdemski

        This is perfect.

    3. Sunny

      You’re not the only one.

  6. Schpoonman

    She gave her a cake that SAID “Other Rachel” IN FROSTING? Jesus Christ.

    1. Kernanator

      Tbh, by this point, even Other Rachel thinks of herself as Other Rachel.

    2. ValdVin

      I like the specifics from Ruth: Not “I made” or “I decorated” or “I ordered” even, but the bare minimum involvement, which probably reflects her enthusiasm, “I handed”.

      1. Dean

        Ruth didn’t make the cake, or buy it. Probably best not to speculate about where she got it.

        1. Ryek Hvek

          She took it away from an orphan.

        2. Deanatay

          … named Other Rachel.

          That must’ve been hard to find. At least Ruth put a LITTLE effort into it.

    3. Sunny

      If that happened to me, I’d think it was really funny.

  7. Yumi

    My secret is I’m always anxious.

    Also, my RAs did nothing for birthdays, so that’s kind of nice.

    1. Keulen

      I’m pretty sure my RAs didn’t do anything for birthdays either.

  8. BBCC

    Jimmy lives!

  9. AnvilPro

    I’m sure Meredith actually appreciated that, that could have been the highlight of her day for all we know

  10. Antonio

    I love that Other Rachel is referred as such like it’s normal.

    1. Cattleprod

      I’m impressed it was so universally accepted as to be put on a cake that early in the semester.

      1. DinaWho

        Who’s Other Rachel’s roommate? Rachel? She’s a sophomore, so if they room together, it would make sense for Other Rachel to be a sophomore. In that case, it’s likely an in-joke from the year before.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Everybody knows it’s Dina. Duh.

  11. Keulen

    With the exception of close family members I’m terrible at remembering other peoples’ birthdays.

    1. Leorale

      My phone does that for me. Also it tells me what day of the week it is and such.

    2. Kamino Neko

      The only reason I remember my father’s is he shares it with my favourite singer (who uses it for one of her project names). >_>

      (I used to get the number of his and my brother’s mixed up, so now I have my entire immediate family down.)

    3. Deanatay

      Remember… Birthdays…?

      Isn’t that what Facebook is for?

  12. King Daniel

    Quick, someone contact the timeline guy to figure out which storylines September 9 and September 17 took place in!

    1. BBCC

      The days that would have been ROUGHLY Sept. 9th and 17th were during timeskips. The first was the day before Time Keeps On Slippin’ and the second was the day before Just Hangin’ Out With My Family.

      For reference, it’s currently roughly October 12th.

    2. McBogue

      Willis is a wily one. According to the timeline over at Walkypedia, neither of those days were covered “on-screen” so to speak. September 9 was the day before “Time Keeps On Slippin'” and September 17 was the day before “Just Hangin’ Out With My Family”.

      1. McBogue

        Scooped by BBCC! 🙂

      2. JessWitt

        Ah! Thanks for the info.

    3. JessWitt

      Did Other Rachel appear on the storyline on Sept. 9?

  13. Reltzik

    Be honest, Ruth. You didn’t write up Meredith as a birthday present. You didn’t write her up because that would have been at the Venn Diagram intersection of paperwork, job, and bullshit.

    (Granted job might be entirely a subset of bullshit, but it’s a gradated circle where some parts of the circle are more bullshitty than other parts.)

    1. DailyBrad

      I dunno, she used to be more spite-motivated, or she would just have plucked it out of their mouth or something and intimidate them, pre-Billie breakdown.

    2. Mitsukara

      Was Ruth R.A. when Sarah’s old roommate got in trouble for drugs on campus? If she knows about the fallout of that incident, that might increase her hesitancy.

      1. Gojira

        I don’t think Sarah’s old roommate ever got caught by the campus authorities. Sarah went straight to her parents.

      2. ValdVin

        I think Ruth is a sophomore now*, if so, not RA during the Dana situation. *However, we don’t know.

        1. thejeff

          I’m pretty sure Ruth is a junior and was RA last year. She already had a reputation among the sophomores at the start of the year.

  14. Tacos

    Hey the cricket lives. Now give it a name.

    1. Tan

      It has a name.

      Its name is Lettuce.

      1. Dave M

        In my headcannon, Lettuce is the name of a Mantis, and Test is the name of the cricket. 🙂

        1. tyersome

          That was a wicket thing to post …

        2. Marsh Maryrose

          I have to admit it bowled me over.

        3. Dave M

          I’m stumped to think of another pun..

        4. Dellaran

          Hindsight is twenty20. (By which I mean the cricket format, not the stock-photo website…)

        5. Remmington Steele

          Knocked him for six! And the Old Trafford End go wild!

      2. GoblinScribe

        I liked Chester, personally. Lettuce is good, though.

    2. Needfuldoer

      He’s Tag.

      Tag, the cricket.

  15. laladoria

    I’m glad the awkward silence is at least gone. I was worried there for a minute.

    …

    Now I get to spend my worries on something else, like when the next problem is going to pop up with the two of them.

  16. Passchendaele

    “Let’s do something productive.”

    “Like murder?”

    “…Damnit.”

  17. Owlmirror

    Murder is not cricket at all.

    Celebrating birthdays is by not writing people up is not quite cricket.
    (Actually, was it even Meredith’s birthday? Or is Ruth all “Meh, it’s probably someone’s birthday”?)

  18. Stephen Bierce

    *looks for some Grateful Dead to play*

  19. Bo Lindbergh

    Davy Cricket.

    1. Reltzik

      The problem with naming the cricket is that he might die.

      See, if I call him Davy Cricket and then see him get smashed, Iscream, because he just got alamoed.

      …..

      *flees for dear punning life*

      1. Danni

        davy cricket’s locker

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      King of the wild frontier!

    3. Kamino Neko

      No, Davy was a Monkee. BUDDY was a Cricket.

      1. Clif

        Holly Cow.

  20. Nono

    Sarah’s birthday, you say?

    Who’s ready for Joyce’s grin to break the panels?

    1. Reltzik

      That’s probably also Walky’s birthday.

      …..

      ….. crap, the parents are going to come out for that, aren’t they?

      1. BBCC

        Nah, Walky and Sal were born on April Fool’s. Assuming Willis is keeping that from the Walkyverse.

        1. Reltzik

          Oh, wait, Sal =/= Sarah.

          …… my brain just isn’t working today.

          …….

          …….. Anyhow, I vote surprise birthday party for Sarah, with everyone jumping out and launching into a happy birthday song. What could possibly go wrong?

        2. BBCC

          I’d love to see Sarah have her birthday party. I’m sure she’d LOVE it.

      2. tyersome

        … what kind of coming out are you envisioning here …

  21. Danni

    the cricket still isnt tagged?

    1. Reltzik

      #TagTheCricket

      …..

      ….. Willis is going to make that hashtag a banning offense, isn’t he?

      1. Clif

        Nah, he’ll just use the bongo switch to change it to something else.

        1. Reltzik

          He knows that will just ENCOURAGE us to…

          …. oh. Clever.

  22. gen

    Maybe I’m just used to some other webcomics creating easy drama by never letting their characters be happy, but I would be more surprised to see a Billie/Ruth relationship that slowly gets healthier than to see a relationship where they fall out of lust/love now that some of the excitement has been resolved.

  23. BBCC

    Honestly, this just reminded me that Sal’s birthday is April 1st, or it was.

  24. Cass

    I find your green cricket creepy and wrong. Green is for grasshoppers!

    (I know they do exist, I’ve just never seen one, all the crickets in my area are dark brown/black.)

    1. David M Willis

      He started out a proper color, but he disappeared into the beige desk too easily. So I made him green, sorry.

      1. Clif

        What Carla uncaged was a cricket of beige,
        But they’ll have a green green cricket.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Another name for a green cricket is a katydid (Tettigonioidea).

      1. Clif

        #TagTheTettigonioidea

        1. Pablo360

          Katy did, but I got no idea.

        2. thejeff

          “Katy tried
          I was halfway crucified”

  25. bleepbloop

    Since we’re in October (I think? Or are we in November by now?), with the order Billie read those names, Sarah’s probably a Libra and Dina’s a Scorpio! If we ARE in late October by now Sarah’s definitely a Scorpio and Dina’s either also one or possibly a Sagittarius. Dina feels more like a Sag to me.

    1. BBCC

      It’s roughly October 12th right now.

  26. spoopyfox

    RAs are supposed to do shit for people’s birthdays?

  27. Inspector whatevsman

    Man, Ruth goes all out and them some. Some people don’t even get names on theirs

  28. showler

    By Jiminy, that was a close one.

  29. JessWitt

    Just “Other Rachel”? No “Happy Birthday Other Rachel”?

  30. MM

    Is the alt text that Ruth’s secret isn’t a secret? ‘Cause it’s not.

    I like how my iPhone tries to autocorrect to “Ruthless.”

    Also also, Billie’s shaping up to be a good RA.

  31. Biblioholic

    Ruth is my spirit animal.

    I hope she does ok.

  32. EvilMidnightLurker

    Ruthless is gamma mutate confirmed.

  33. Undrave

    TWO COMICS! The Cricket deserves a tag now!

  34. Bagge

    Just hand the birthday list to Joyce and call it a day (and go apologize to Sarah for letting Joyce know her birthday)

  35. Pablo360

    If other Rachel is anything like other Kevin from tabletop game club at my college, she wouldn’t like being referred to as other Rachel. Just call her Rachel, and call the first Rachel “squid”.

  36. BenRG

    Could Billie’s natural aptitude be ‘social secretary’?

  37. Marsh Maryrose

    In a perfect world, “My Secret Is I’m Always Thinking of Murder” would also be a book title.

    1. Clif

      In a perfect word, The Cheese would be food for thought.

      1. Clif

        In a perfect world auto-correct would ask you before changing world to word. Also there would be a way to edit comments to correct errors that you would never make because it’s a perfect world.

        1. Clif

          In less perfect worlds the edit feature is disabled to keep Mike from carrying on arguments and then going back and editing his posts to make the other guy’s responses look like those of an unreasonable jerk.

  38. Woobie

    Ruth is channeling Bruce Banner?
    Her eyes have turned green; the rest of her will apparently follow.
    Soon.
    Any strip now.

  39. Reltzik

    I’ve been going back and forth on this for a few days now, as most of you are aware.

    I’ve gone some…. pretty dumb places of late.

    I mean, they seemed good ideas at the time.

    But in hindsight, they obviously weren’t.

    Frankly, I was all over the place.

    But I’m better now. I’ve got a clear answer now. I’ve got the RIGHT answer now.

    ….

    That damn cricket’s name is Tag.

    TAG THE CRICKET.

    1. Remmington Steele

      Easy, Tiger.

      2018 hasn’t begun yet.

      1. Reltzik

        EXACTLY! I want to end 2017 on a high note, all chipper and chirpy.

  40. ValdVin

    Ruth must reeeeeeeeeally like slamming insects with books to do that on a desk. I don’t envy whoever gets to clean that.

  41. Dara

    Mine too, Ruth. Mine, too.

  42. DarkoNeko

    Panel 2 : the insect now moved away. Good luck finding it.

  43. Arkady

    The cricket lives! Long Live The Cricket!

  44. StriderHLC

    So, is “My Secret is I’m Always Thinking of Murder” the next book title?

    1. Reltzik

      Only if we can talk him out of “up here we can be garbage” (exact wording might vary from my sleep-deprived memory).

      Though he DID ask us to…

  45. Reltzik

    Okay, is anyone else getting that stupid Ford ad that says, “Hey, I don’t care if you’re trying to scroll down to a lower part of the comments section, I’m up here, your browser has to be up here too, NO YOU DON’T GET TO LOOK AT ANYTHING ELSE.”

    If so, is there a setting in Firefox I can disable that gives me back control of my browser?

    1. BBCC

      Aggressive ads are the worst.

    2. Remmington Steele

      I used to recommend blocking Java/Shockwave – doa used to kill firefox on my Ubuntu box. But I can see FlashBlock add-on is disabled, and I can no longer disable JS or Java in the settings. Yet DOA performs well.

      Get the latest browser I guess.

      1. Remmington Steele

        Later versions of Firefox do not use the java plugin.

        https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/npapi-plugins?as=u&utm_source=inproduct

      2. Reltzik

        Well, I’ve got the latest version… but I did check my addons and there was this weird one I couldn’t account for so I disabled it. Maybe that will work.

  46. Matthew

    Dig the Avengers reference: My secret is I’m always angry lulz

  47. Portland

    #Tagtagthecricket

    The cricket’s name is Tag!

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      I think you misspelled “#tagthelettuce.”

      This one is nicknamed Red Leaf.

  48. Mr. Anderson

    “I understood that reference.”

  49. PB

    … I’d say not getting written up for the weed was a pretty good present.

  50. Josh Spicer

    To be honest that’s actually not too terrible of presidents.

    Against her job, sure, but all in all?

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