384

Proxy
Posted on April 19, 2016 by David M Willis

384 thoughts on “Proxy”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    where better to get some ass than from an ass, yuk yuk yuk

    1. Driei

      ba dum dum tiss

      1. Znayx

        I always go with “Ba dum tsh”. I don’t quite get the feeling that cymbals make a “tiss” sound. There’s too much… “Ssss” in that. Feels too slippery and non-metalic for a cymbal.

        Unless we’re singing The Bloodhound Gang’s Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss. In which case, I approve. But be careful with that link.

        1. a snow mous e

          Tssh or kssh

        2. Znayx

          yep, kinda depends on the timber of the cymbal

        3. Commo

          Half open hi-hat cymbals make a tsss noise, but the timbre is indeed more tsshhh for a crash cymbal, which I think is used in this case 😛

      2. Reltzik

        Or, in this case, ba dum tush.

        1. LWS

          Dammit, you beat me to it!

        2. Willinwoods

          Bummer!

        3. Lurlock

          Ooh, so close. Should’ve been “da bum tush”.

        4. Reltzik

          Win.

        5. Deanatay

          DAT BA-DONK-A-DONK

          BA-DUM-TISH

    2. Jay Eff

      She’ll be here all week, folks! Be sure to tip your waitress.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Just not with your tip because that’s sexual harassment.

        1. Robbzilla

          As I learned in my all too lengthy corporate sexual harassment training, it’s only harassment if she objects. (I wish I were kidding, but man those videos are long and tedious and even cringe-worthy)

    3. gkheyf

      Hat tip, m’lady!

    4. SmilingNid

      Wonder if this time around Malaya is in to girls, mostly because Sal is a lot more likely to drop her in a river for breaking a heart then Les was. Which would in fact reduce the amount of ass in the comic in both forms.

      1. Mr k

        Marcie leaves Malaya after seeing her kiss a car.

        1. John

          Malaya elopes with Sal’s bike, pissing off Marcie, Sal, and, in a surprise twist, Joyce.

        2. Silvester Crow

          No surprise there. Joyce had to go through so much for ajust a ride, and Malaya gets to just run off and elope with it just like that!?

        3. Leorale

          Well, riding is only for people who can curse, and Malaya curses a whole lot more than Joyce does.

        4. Bagge

          PREMARTIAL BIKEY…um, let me get back to you on that one.

        5. Clif

          Some of the Internets.

        6. SgtWadeyWilson

          My brain auto finished that as “bikey wikey” and decided to hear it in Matt Smith’s voice.

        7. kurodansei

          PREMARITAL BIKEY SWIPEY

        8. Ana Chronistic

          PREMARITAL SCOOTER COOTER

          no wait

        9. Deanatay

          Malaya rides the bike… with the seat taken off.

        10. Benjamin Geiger

          Maybe I should rewatch Golden Boy. There’s an episode that is relevant to this discussion.

      2. caesaria82

        Well, she was into robot-girls.

      3. Viktoria

        Well, it was never made clear exactly what Malaya’s sexuality was in SP!, with “I’m into whatever that means” being the closest we get, so she could be into girls here. Or she’s into machines, which Marcie may still be able to work with.

        1. Znayx

          She basically makes it clear that 1. She doesn’t like people, and 2. She likes cool things (which is very very unlikely to be people, based on her prior experience with them). Her sexual orientation aligns with her general liking/disliking of people/things. And in a way, it makes sense: People should be with who/what they like, so long as they’re happy and it doesn’t harm others.

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      An a-hole can make themselves more appealing if they comes served with some tasty buns.

  2. Mr. Mendo

    That sweet, sweet booty!

    1. butts

      Damn, Malaya hasn’t figured that out yet? She’s pretty thick. (Like her booty.)

      1. Wheelpath

        And the freckles on that thing, hitting all the right sensors.

        1. Deanatay

          Get back, rewind it back
          Malaya got the moves, make the booty go *SMAK*

      2. gkheyf

        Dat name, yo. Props. It wits like those shorts (barely) and spreads like a disease

        1. gkheyf

          *fits

        2. butts

          Yeah, I regret not getting here sooner. This would’ve been a perfect time to beat Ana to the first post.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Who likes short shorts?

      1. Leorale

        She likes shorts shorts!

      2. Wizard

        The purple people eater, of course.

    3. AngryBamboo

      Willis’ Butts Disease is flaring up. Luckily most of us who frequent the site are already carriers. Hopefully there aren’t any newbies tonight so they can be spared this dreadful affliction.

      1. butts

        i was once a nice, normal person

        NOW LOOK AT ME

        1. Disloyal Subject

          I FEEL THE BUTTS OVERTAKING ME.
          IT IS A GOOD PAIN.

        2. inqntrol

          Oh,no. The disease is spreading.

        3. TheEighthShader

          DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB.

        4. AngryBamboo

          every day, millions of people struggle with Butts’ Disease. find out how you can help at http://www.nutsfobutts.org

        5. pjeseb

          I want to help, but I am a little afraid of where that link will take me.

        6. AngryBamboo

          nowhere. there’s no help for Butts Disease.

        7. biffzinker

          http://www.sincerelynuts.com/nuts/cashews/cashews-butts–roasted–salted

    4. Cholma

      A bodacious booty in booty shorts.

  3. Kris

    Get a clue Malaya.

    1. Mr k

      Maybe she’s still got brain damage from that fight with Amber.

    2. gkheyf

      Clueless: the sequel. 90s throwback night with malaya

    3. Yotomoe

      That’s not fair. Sal litterally needed it spelled out for her.

      1. Bagge

        Maybe Marcie should try showing Malaya the same sing.

        1. Yotomoe

          Marcie’s gonna sing? Inconceivable!

    4. leadsynth

      Wait, so Marcie HASN’T tried to get all up on Malaya yet? That’s weird. I assumed they were totes doin’ it.

      1. Makkabee

        Maybe they are and Malaya’s assuming Marcie and Sal were, too.

      2. Yotomoe

        It’s hard for Marcie feel someone up and also explain why she’s doing it at the same time. And Malaya’s not good enough at sign language or body language to pick up on either!

  4. miados

    Hmmm unsure if nice or not nice to point out what sal suspects.

    1. No Name

      Not “suspects”, knows. Marcie told her.

      1. miados

        alright “hits cut on word suspects then types in knows”

  5. Alice Macher

    I. Like. Malaya’s. BUTT, and I cannot lie…

    1. inqntrol

      You other brothers can’t deny

      1. Vagabond J

        That when Malaya walks in with an itty bitty waist

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          *wonders if she’s 36-24-36 and 5 foot 3*

        2. Sokol

          Actually when it comes to females, Cosmo does not have very much to do at all with my selection.

        3. Marisa Mockery

          And a round thing in your face

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          That butt is stuffed.

        5. Sokol

          Wanna pull out your tough?

  6. Mek

    Damn.

    1. butts

      DAAAAAAYUM girl

    2. Catty

      Damn indeed.

      I appreciate sizable glutei and am incapable of mendacity on the subject.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Are your fraternal siblings incapable of dissent?

  7. Luzahn

    …Oh dear, Marcie’s going to have her heart broken, isn’t she.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Unless she’s a robot, probably.

      1. Mr k

        If she is, she needs to get her speakers repaired.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Maybe she’s like Bumblebee in the Michael Bay movies, and speaks through radio snippets.

        2. Mr k

          Willis is a much better writer then Bay.

        3. Taylor Seyfert

          Transformers wasn’t written by Bay. It was written by the Star Trek reboot guys (aka the Amazing Spiderman 2 guys). As far as I know, Bay doesn’t really write at all (although as a producer with his name recognition, I’m sure he’s gotten the chance to add a few things to a few of his movies over the years).

        4. inqntrol

          Forget speakers, she need upgrades! So she can become a Terminator.

        5. Tacos

          So… what? Does that mean she then has to be sent back in time and keep some annoying kid from getting killed by a significantly cooler Terminator?

  8. Mr. Random

    I’m pretty sure this is Marcy’s way of trying to get them to interact without almost punching each other out…. so far so good.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Seems probable.
      Sal seems to be much better at remembering not to destroy Malaya now that she doesn’t feel threatened by her… Which makes it all the funnier that Malaya’s actively trying to make her insecure about her best [only] friendship.

      1. itachi_0501

        Heh: I mentally pronounced “probable” as “probe-able” and…well, there you go. 🙂

  9. timemonkey

    Honestly, I’d pick Malaya over Sal. Malaya can be a huge pain but she’s never assaulted anyone just because they dared to spend time with her friends.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Of course not.

      She’d need friends for that.

    2. butts

      In terms of friends? I’d take ‘occasional violence’ over ‘constant annoyance’ any day.

      1. timemonkey

        You say that like Sal wouldn’t be just as annoying.

        1. Falcon

          She wouldn’t, at least for me. Sal actually has a good head on her shoulders underneath all her issues. Malaya has no judgement and no hope.

        2. timemonkey

          Sal has a constant need to maintain her image. Malaya just generally doesn’t care.

        3. Temporal

          Yes, but thanks to that, Malaya has a permanent attitude problem, and I can’t imagine why anyone would elect to spend any extended period of time with her. At least Sal’s personality is multifaceted, and she shows concern for others. Malaya just doesn’t know when to shut up. That’s her character. Coruscating.

          As for the violence, Malaya is no better. Sal grabbed her, showed no sign of further violence, and made the ultimatum that she had better shut up before it came to that. Malaya *punched her clean in the face* with no restraint. Neither of them behaved properly.

        4. Spencer

          TIL that if you kick someone who slams you in a wall and threatens to beat the shit out of you, you’re the real jerk.

        5. JQuire

          That’s a pithy and cute response and all, but it’s 1) not what Temporal said, and 2) not an accurate characterization of Malaya’s response. Yes. Sal threatened Malaya if she didn’t stop being grating (which they both were) and pushed her into the wall. But Malaya didn’t just ‘kick’ Sal and leave it at that. She started out by splitting her lip, followed it with a knee to the gut and took another swing at Sal’s face, which she caught.

          Let’s not pretend that Malaya isn’t more than happy to throw down at the slightest provocation (http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/roller-derby/) or to kick a gal when she’s down (http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/beforesunrise/).

          So yeah, Sal’s behavior is problematic. But Temporal is dead on – Malaya is no better

        6. Spencer

          As this forum’s foremost Amazi-Girl apologist, heck no. Malaya made have thrown the first punch against Amazi-Girl, but Amazi-Girl is also a noted costumed vigilante who beats people up for breaking the law and just said she wanted to fight everyone in that parking lot. Everyone else wanted to do the smart thing and leave, but trying to take down someone you see as a threat? I can’t exactly hold that against Malaya.

          Anyway, at the point that Sal decided to upgrade from just being an asshole to a violent asshole, Malaya was totally justified in reasonably defending herself.

          Sal’s a nicer person than Malaya, but in that moment she was far worse.

        7. JQuire

          Malaya is in no way intimidated by Amazi-Girl, or see her as a threat. In that first link she says as much.

          You’re absolutely right. Malaya was justified in reasonably defending herself. What was reasonable was exactly enough force to get Sal off of her. But Malaya overstepped what she was justified in doing and lost any moral high ground she had the second she escalated it.

        8. Spencer

          How did Malaya escalate when she was defending herself? Was she supposed to nicely ask Sal to stop attacking and threatening her? You think Sal was going to let her off after she started fighting back?

          Anyway, Malaya was a shit disturber during the fight with Amazi-Girl, sure. Amazi-Girl is also someone who runs around town kicking the shit out of people. There is a degree to where I feel that Malaya’s actions weren’t entirely unreasonable. Could she not have? Sure. Should she have? No, the record shows that Amber always waits before actually throwing a punch so chances are if everyone just left then she wouldn’t have gone any further (and indeed this exact scenario happens in a rejected strip for that sequence and it’s also a crucial part of how Amazi-Girl remains at all likable or sympathetic), but when you get some weirdo in a costume who seems really into beating you up, I think overreacting is, well, pretty okay. The only reason we know that trying to preemptively take down Amazi-Girl might be uncool is because Amber’s a character that we like.

        9. JQuire

          “Defending yourself” isn’t a free pass to start whaling on someone else, but that’s exactly what Malaya started to do. And my last comment explained exactly what I think Malaya should have done. Used the force necessary to get Sal off of her, and then walk the eff off. Don’t even suggest that I’m placing unreasonable expectations on Malaya, expecting her to be polite in the face of bs, ’cause I’m not.

          Sal has repeatedly walked away from fights that she didn’t need to hop into, often with Marcie’s encouragement but also without it. So yes. I do think Sal would’ve let her leave after she pushed back – so long as she left it at that.

          Malaya’s just itching to fight. Even if you’re right (debatable), and Malaya saw AG as a costumed badass looking to pick a fight….that Malaya’s immediate response was to charge in swinging is proof that she’s just eager to up the ante on any situation where violence is an option.

        10. Spencer

          She hit Sal twice. While getting her off of her. How does that fall under unreasonable self defense? What’s stopping Sal from still going after her, because she sure as fuck wasn’t stopping on her own. If Malaya crosses that threshold against someone who just slammed her into a wall and said she wanted to kick her ass, then suddenly she’s fair game?

          Oh about that part about how Sal walks away from fights? Sal literally says that it’s Marcie who gets her to stop, and another time when she was so drunk she couldn’t stand she still wanted to find someone to fight. So now we have a situation with a pissed off Sal with no cricket on her shoulder. I see only good things emerging from that.

          Whether Malaya wants to get into fights or not, that doesn’t mean Sal gets to put her in one. Is she unreasonably violent against Amazi-Girl? Yeah I guess, but if I were in that situation I would err on the side of caution with someone with a known tendency to beat people who outright stated that they absolutely wanted to get into a fight with me.

        11. JQuire

          Wrong. She hit Sal twice and swung at her a third time, which Sal caught. Hence her fist being in Sal’s hand when Sal finally cocks a shot at Malaya. And honestly, all she needed to do was push Sal off. Hell, I’ll give her the punch that split Sal’s lip. If she tried to walk off and Sal pursued, I’d give the next one to her as well. But self defense only gets you enough punches to get away from the fight.

          Sal doesn’t give herself enough credit. She says it’s Marcie, but Marcie didn’t say boo the first time Sal decided to walk away from an instigating AG (though she did when AG pushed it) and wasn’t there when Sal walked away instead of engaging AG after the Ross incident. She wasn’t there when Sarah gave Sal crap for no reason and Sal just decides that they should interact less rather than become a source of contention. Yeah, two-beers-in-Sal was raring for a fight, but I can hardly credit that against someone who, as you said, literally was too drunk to stand.

          I’d really love you to point to the exact place that I argued Sal was justified in starting things off. The point was that when it comes to violence, Malaya is no better than Sal.

          What you would do with AG does not in any way change the fact that Malaya didn’t see AG as a threat. As she says right before charging at her.

        12. JQuire

          Also: Malaya has never seen Sal in a fight. She has no reason to think that she won’t back off after the first punch. She has no reason to believe that she won’t be fine if she stops swinging. But we don’t need to guess what Malaya thinks she’s doing when she throws down with Sal, because Malaya says it : “I was kicking her ass.”

        13. podian

          The problem is, she doesn’t care in the most aggravating way possible.

    3. hellofriends

      Didn’t Mayala hit Sal first in that situation? I assume you’re talking about when Sal and Mayala met up during Joyce’s Party?

      1. timemonkey

        Sal initiated physical violence.

    4. Sam

      A lot of what Malaya says aggravating so I’d take Sal still, since she tries to be nice to people on the whole still.

  10. Inkblot

    bootay

  11. Architex

    This is absolute Yotomoe fanservice and I am loving every minute of it.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      I was expecting the alt text to be something like that.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Haven’t seen a comment from him yet. Probably still in shock.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Or drawing furiously.

        1. inqntrol

          Maybe he’s not making just one.

        2. Schpoonman

          Interesting euphemism there. Never heard “drawing” before.

        3. Bagge

          pen and paper is involved.
          *SORRY*

        4. Tacos

          Watch out for paper cuts.

        5. Makkabee

          “His throbbing pens…”

        6. SgtWadeyWilson

          Wow, you just made that reference! Could it be anymore relevant?

      2. Architex

        *Breaks out trumpet*
        *Starts playing taps*

      3. Dean

        His hands are almost certainly occupied.

        1. Yotomoe

          I only need one hand to draw!

    3. Yotomoe

      Wow, y’all so immediately knew I’d like this one. I’m clearly much too predictable. And if y’all’re wondering where I was, I was asleep.
      (Also I am bulk uploading a giant imgur file of every DOA related fanart, from the cute, to the gross, to the more controversial ones that will probably make some of y’all hate me. Ciao!)

      1. Bagge

        *Willis post a butt*
        *Yotome post ALL THE BUTTS*
        I can get behind this escalation.

        1. merbrat

          and Willis posted all Yotomoe’s butts on his Dumblr!

        2. merbrat

          (screenshot of a page-full)

      2. Deanatay

        EEEE!!!

  12. Leorale

    See, Malaya’s a jerk, she’s trying to drive a wedge between Marcie and Sal! It seems to have failed, though.
    Also Willis likes jerks, and butts, it is proven.

    1. Mr k

      So he’s jerking off to butts? Not sorry.

      1. butts

        hahaha YESSS

    2. Yotomoe

      She’s not trying to. She’s just poorly putting 2 and 2 together. Even Sal thought Malaya was driving a wedge between them until Marcie pointed out she just wants to tap some slender freckled brown booty.

  13. NinjaNick

    I can’t stop looking at Panel 6. *wolf-whistle*

    1. Schpoonman

      Dude, right?

      1. butts

        Seriously. Dat booty.

  14. ridtom

    Malaya’s words do not match her eyebrows and it’s concerning.

  15. jepmz

    Hahahahaha

    Sal make it sound like she’s sent Malaya to the pit of lust wolves

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Silent but horny!

  16. Reltzik

    “Look, I don’t need to tell you. There’s a moderate chance you can find it with both hands, a compass, and a treasure map leading to booty.”

    1. butts

      Please. Malaya’s booty so big, it has its own zipcode.

      1. Reltzik

        Uh…. I thought zipcodes were assigned less by their size and more by how many people are in them.

        1. Eyebrow

          Sure looks like most of the 250+ commenters here want to get in this one!

  17. NotAnElf

    Now I want siopao for some reason 😉

  18. Jay Eff

    Hear that?

    That’s the sound of Yotomoe’s head exploding

    1. inqntrol

      Expecting fanart in a couple of minutes.

    2. Architex

      Godammit Malaya

    3. butts

      This is the way the world ends
      This is the way the world ends
      This is the way the world ends
      Not with a bang but with Yotomoe fansmut

    4. Yotomoe

      Which one?

      1. Schpoonman

        Yes.

        1. merbrat

          Appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

  19. Vagabond J

    *Takes out portable speaker and plays some Jonathan Coulton*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6mAeipSTvs

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      *hands over the keys to the music library locker to Vagabond J for the rest of the week*

      1. Vagabond J

        *Hands them back, knowing he’ll ruin everything by the end of the week*

      2. Sokol

        THIS MAN OWNS A MUSIC SHOW! HE CAN’T HAVE THE LOCKER HE’LL JUST CLOG IT UP WITH CRAP!

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    Marcie wants to figger Malaya out if you know what I mean. *waggle waggle*

    1. Schpoonman

      I maaay have read “figger” as “finger” at first and thought “Uh, the ‘if you know what I mean,’ isn’t really appropriate here. You just SAID it.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I was raised on innuendo thanks to 60s & 70s Britcoms so not going for innuendos would feel just plain unnatural at this point.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Perhaps you’re cut out to be in a bawdy 1970s hospital.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Ohh Matron!

      2. John

        The lesser-known single entendre.

  21. Larkle

    I feel like these two could actually make pretty good friends if they’d both get rid of the chip on their shoulder. Of course that seems a bit unlikely…

    1. Rukduk

      Here’s how I imagine such a situation going down. Sal and Malaya are arguing like normal. All of a sudden Joe walks by. Being Joe he notices the two girls arguing, apparently about relationships and another girl, and thus shouts out, “Just make out already!” Sal and Malaya proceed to bond over beating Joe into a pulp. Later that week, Malaya, Marcie, and Carla drag a passed out Sal bag to her room after one of their parking lot parties, and Sal says in her inebriated state that she’s glad to be with three of her best friends in the whole world. The comments become a collective “aww”, and this storyline comes to a happy conclusion.

      What?

      I said possible, not likely or realistic.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Joe prefers to say: “Now kiss.” If I remember correctly.

  22. Chandra

    Almost read “figger” as “finger.” xD

  23. caesaria82

    #butts

    I mean, she does have nice… assets. Ahem.

    And I love Sal but she’s so jealous here. It’s kinda cute in a way, but she’s also super grumpy, even more so than usual. I hope we see her with Marcie again soon, their interactions are some of my faves 🙂

  24. AeromechanicalAce

    Malaya in a nutshell. Pretty on the outside, hideous on the inside. Marcie can do better.

    1. Yotomoe

      Hey, we don’t know how ugly Marcie is on the inside. It might be a match made in hell.

      1. Tacos

        Everyone is ugly on the inside. That’s where all your guts and poop and stuff are.

        1. Yotomoe

          Not me. I’m hallow inside. I’m just full of indecent thoughts and laziness.

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          You’re holy inside? How many times did you sneeze before you got that blessed?

  25. JessWitt

    Novels? Clues? Sounds like we have a mystery on our hands.

  26. Fwip

    Man, what a bongo.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Which one?

      1. butts

        Two, actually.

        1. Yotomoe

          That’s good. Two bongos allows for a much richer rhythm. That accompaniment is gonna sound beautiful.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/10-29-2015/-2O9hi.gif

  27. Bagge

    Sal is talking about Roller Derby of course.

  28. Disloyal Subject

    “Certainly sooner in those pants”? Jason must be rubbing off on Sal, because those shortshorts don’t seem to have much in common with trousers.

    1. caesaria82

      I like how you made the assumption that the alt text is being said/thought by Sal instead of being author commentary^^ It’s kind of a cute idea lol.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Jason has done a heck of a lot more than just rubbed off Sal. 😀

    3. Kamino Neko

      This is exactly the opposite of taking the Britishism.

      Short pants are still pants, and her underpants are not at all visible.

  29. Cerberus

    Super curious to see how Malaya’s orientation works out in this universe. Will she still be robosexual? How would that be interpreted in this universe? Will she turns out to be functionally homoromantic asexual or even a form of demiromantic or demisexual (similar to the eyes only for Carla way it played out in the other universe?

    And what will that mean for Marcie? Will this universe’s Malaya try it out but find it’s not for her like the other universe’s Malaya? So many questions…

    Also, I’m pretty sure that my first response to the comic is to muse on all of this instead of making butt puns is probably one thing among many that proof positives my asexuality.

    1. DinaWho

      And you say this much better than I ever could.

      1. Bagge

        Cerberus usually does… Gives us something to aspire to 🙂

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          I always wanted to be a three headed guardian of Hades when I grow up! Oh, that’s not what you mean, is it?

    2. John

      By the end of the semester, the sliding timeline will have made robot girls she can get with an everyday thing.

    3. butts

      but… butt puns are all i have

      1. Reltzik

        You have to go with your assets.

    4. Rukduk

      As someone who did not read Shortpacked, this is quite intriguing. I understood that the characters in dumbing of age carried over most if not all of their traits from previous iterations, but I did not know that Malaya’s attractions and orientation were so…complex.

    5. Orion Fury

      I came here looking for not butt puns/jokes/etc. Seems far and few between. I too was wondering about that, in addition her general personality, which seems to be another topic of mild discussion. If there ever is a storyline that gives her a greater focus/backstory/growth, it’ll be another good read.

    6. Arian

      I’m not asexual, but I skipped all the predictable butt puns and looked for your thoughts on today’s offering. – Hehe, as did Orion Fury, it seems. 🙂

      Mind you, it probably helps that I’m not into girls. Or indeed guys. I’m into “small subset of humanity, membership of which is not determined by gender”, and Malaya isn’t one of them.

    7. JQuire

      Malaya’s sexuality can’t transfer too neatly from the Walkyverse, ’cause no talking cars or robots for them to turn into. But I truly do not believe that she was demi, or will carry over as such. She stated clearly that though she loved and felt a strong connection with Leslie, it just wasn’t happening physically and attributed that to ‘not being into girls’. But at the same time, she was clearly into this dude she just met (and actually ditched as soon as she realized that they’d been in grade school together): http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1601

    8. Deanatay

      Maybe Malaya just loves vibrators.

  30. DinaWho

    Not to sound like I’m bringing back the whole ‘is Ethan gay in this universe’ thing, but do we know Malaya’s sexuality in the Dumbiverse? With most of the characters it’s pretty straightforward (haha, ‘straight’), but ‘attracted to robot ladies’ is a bit more complicated in a universe that doesn’t have sentient robots.

    1. Kingmabel

      I believe she’s pansexual. I could be wrong

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Why do all the pans get the attention, why don’t grills get more loving?

        1. Tacos

          What about skillets?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Skillets are just pans by a different name.

        3. Tacos

          Fine. A comal then.

        4. Yossarianduck

          A comal over you!

          I’m sorry.

      2. DinaWho

        In the other universe she thought she was attracted to Leslie at first but then realised she wasn’t, but she was sexually attracted to Ultra-Car in her humanoid chassis. I know she made out with a guy in a crossover comic but I can’t really remember if her attraction to guys was discussed?

    2. caesaria82

      I’m sure we’re going to find this out soon. (or “soon” because time in this comic is a different thing than our time :p)

    3. Tacos

      They never really established Malaya’s sexuality. The most that was said was that she “was into whatever that is” in reference to how Carla described herself in SP!

      1. DinaWho

        No, I know that.^^
        It’s just ‘whatever that is’ is something that doesn’t have a clear equivalent in the Dumbiverse (in comparison to say, Billie being bi, or Carla being an ace trans woman).

        1. Cerberus

          I’m actually putting a sly bet forward for demisexual or demiromantic, where the broad categories don’t do it for her, but certain people she’s gotten to know over a period of time…

          And if that’s the case, Marcie might be on that wheel when it spins or she may not. And neither might know for awhile.

        2. Orion Fury

          She likes who she likes. It’s simple, unless you’re some kind of normal person, trying to figure it out.

        3. Leorale

          “Questioning” is a valid category, too. 🙂

        4. zoelogical

          maybe she’s just kinda sexually fluid and will never be able to define herself or sort her romantic partners

      2. Deanatay

        *this converstaion takes place in the SP universe, where Carla is a robot*

        Carla: So, are you a lesbian?
        Malaya: Nah, girls are stupid and gross – and I should know!
        Carla: So, are you into guys?
        Malaya: Eugh, no, those are even worse!
        Carla: So, you… just like robots, then?
        Malaya: Not really, most of them are too ‘Three Laws nice-nice’, I hate that.
        Carla: So, just mean robots, then?
        Malaya: Well, most mean robots are boring, they just want to kill and blow shit up, I don’t like that, either.
        Carla: So, you like robots who aren’t nice, but aren’t boring, either.
        Malaya: Yup. Oh, and they need to have a third hand coming out of their chests, too.
        Carla: That seems… incredibly specific.
        Malaya: *looks pointedly at Carla* YUP!

    4. Tom T.

      She kind of screams out “fear of intimacy”in every universe.

  31. Kamino Neko

    I wouldn’t be entirely sure Malaya’s wrong. Marcie have prematurely fallen into the Girlfriend Hole.

    1. Kamino Neko

      ‘may have’…that sentence makes much more sense if you don’t that word.

    2. Yotomoe

      She isn’t in that hole yet, but she sure would like to be.

  32. Some1

    After that 6th panel, the commenters are mainly going to be made up of straight females, and gay males, and anyone asexual.

    Any straight male or lesbian will have other business to attend to.

    1. Vagabond J

      Why do people think I’m gay? Is it something that I say?

      This is for the straight dudes in the audience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9D4TiHyZ9A

    2. inqntrol

      Why of course sit, I am reading the comments while drinking my coffee and then getting ready to leave. It can’t be anymore straight than that.

      1. inqntrol

        *sir

    3. Yotomoe

      Are you implying I can’t type with one hand?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Of cause not, after all it takes two hands to handle a whopper.

    4. StClair

      Meh. The package is nice, but the contents…

    5. Orion Fury

      Hey, my sexuality is of a very specific nature. Lumping me in with everyone else, how rude. Good day to you sir.

    6. Rukduk

      Ehh, I’m straight, but I’m personally more of a leg man myself.

      1. Yotomoe

        The butt is attatched to legs which Malaya’s got pretty decent of as well.

        1. Rukduk

          True. Very true.

  33. Bagge

    I get the distinct feeling Malaya wants to talk about something. She sticks around to ask question and do smalltalk (for these two) and her body language says that she is pretty stressed but tries to act cool (not an unreasonable attitude for someone who just woke Sal up).

    I think her last question is completely honest – she has picked up that Marcie wants SOMETHING, but she is not sure what.

    1. Architex

      Not sure if it’s more impeding conflict or some step to relieve some tension between these two, but I’m picking up on what you’re feeling.

    2. Gordon

      Yeah, I’m thinking her “Marcie sent me with a message” is just a ruse to have a reason to talk to Sal about Marcie.

      If Malaya thinks Marcie and Sal are/were a thing and is also interested in Marcie, that could be why she’s doing the “maybe Marcie doesn’t need you anymore” thing.

    3. Cerberus

      I can see that. Which brings up an interesting thing. Malaya hates Sal and has good reason to owing to Sal’s harassment and open loathing for her. So if she’s wanting to talk to her, that means she’s got literally no one to go to for talking things out except maybe Marcie.

      Misanthropy so powerful she has no one to turn to when she does need to talk things through.

      1. Gordon

        Maybe that’s where the enmity between them comes from, at least on Malaya’s end. (Not that Sal hasn’t done the work of earning it, too) That Sal exhibits similar traits she has herself and it leads to an instant dislike.

        Because it’s real rich of Malaya to harp on about Sal driving people away and being alone and such when she’s seeking her out for advice about Marcie because she’s got no one else.

      2. Bagge

        I’m not sure she hates Sal. She doesn’t like her, sure, but I dont’ think Malaya mind their current frenimy interaction. After all, she need someone to gloat to. Malaya may or may not have friends outside the parkinglot club – we know for a fact that she is part of the roller derby team.

        Regardless, It DOES make sense to go to Sal because Sal is the only one who knows Marcie. I mean, she could perhaps go to Carla or her team mates, but they know Marcie even less than Malaya.

        1. merbrat

          Doesn’t like her, but is rather jealous of Sal being able to communicate with Marcie, I’m thinking.

      3. nightsbridge

        That, or maybe Marcie is trying to get the two of them on more cordial terms.

  34. MadiX

    Malaya: Still shitty after all these years.

  35. Janbon

    Oh Malaya, don’t be so ass-inine.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Her ass certainly rates at least a 9. 😛

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Well you at least haft to admire her assets.

  36. Brute

    oh no, it’s the Butts Disease

    1. Jay Eff

      Some would say it’s a gift, rather than a disease–

      1. Bagge

        Those people make asses of themselves. Butts to them.

  37. Owlmirror

    I’m pretty sure that the message was/will be something like “Can you please try to interact with M without whalin’ on her?”

    (Sal: “ha ha ha sigh I said I’d try, didn’t I?”)

    Oh, wait. That’s too simple. How about something more awkward?

    Marcie: “Can you try and find out if she’s into girls without sounding like you’re hitting on her yourself?”

    Sal: “GAH! *poop emoticon*”

    1. Bagge

      +1+1+1

  38. Bagge

    I wanted to take a crack at the jokes about Malaya’s cheekiness too, but I’m afraid I would be the butt of the joke.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      At least you won’t end up as a bottom.

    2. Yotomoe

      Wouldn’t want to make an ass out of yourself.

    3. newllend(henryvolt)

      Hm…. I think my jokes would be lacking behind in great A quality, but I would love to make jokes to the crack of dawn if I could about her good side.

    4. Deanatay

      I’m so bummed out. I’ve got glueteus all over everything.

  39. Saaaam

    Jesus CHRIST Malaya, that’s an awful thing to say.

    1. Bagge

      Yeah, it’s rather shitty

  40. showler

    For maximum awkwardness, Malaya actually wants to bang Sal. She’s one of those there ‘dere thingies from anime.

    1. Liliet

      ‘dere’ means gentle
      im pretty sure malaya is not that

      1. podian

        A lot of tsun though.

  41. Bicycle Bill

    To be honest with you, I’m still patiently waiting to find out why Marcie is mute now even though she was able to speak when she was younger.

    1. Cheryl

      typo?

    2. Cheryl

      wait…stuff happens http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/fun-2/

  42. Yotomoe

    She’s long and she’s strong and she’s about to get the friction on.

    1. David M Willis

      Oh, good, you posted. I was worried today’s strip had murdered you.

      1. Cholma

        Don’t fool yourself. We all know that’s an imposter. The REAL Yotomoe’s head exploded the moment he saw Panel 6.

      2. Yotomoe

        Oh Willis. I will simply counter this by drawing even MORE lewd Malayas! I cannot be killed by something so tame, any more.

        1. Deanatay

          Links, man!! LINKS!!

      3. Orion Fury

        I laughed harder at you comment than the comic.

      4. Some1

        It actually did murder me, however I came back from the dead, based on the power of pure sexiness alone.

      5. Bagge

        “David Willis once killed a man with a drawing of a butt.”

        Is that streetcred in webcomic artist circles?

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      Enouch friction to make it fiery hot.

  43. wafflebob

    OMG Malaya’s Ass is woah!

    1. Bagge

      woah indeed

  44. newllend(henryvolt)

    You know I’m trying to Imagine Malaya with a Boston accent.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Maybe, if she used more double negatives and less of the letter R.

      Wickit pissah.

  45. Cheryl

    Did she say something about hitting that. but i am not sure of the context.

  46. LimeSheep

    theres no way this relationships gonna go well, right?
    is this going to be another arc of malaya being depicted as a shit person for not being into the girl that likes her

    1. Spencer

      That isn’t what happened last time at all. SP!Malaya was just kind of a raging dick but the comic never shamed her for not returning Leslie’s affections, and later on it it was clear that she still deeply respected her.

      She just wasn’t into girls. She doesn’t have to be into girls.

      1. timemonkey

        Yeah, it was the readers who ripped into her for daring not to be a lesbian.

  47. Tenzhi

    Love those thigh freckles…

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Thunder thighs with freckles.

  48. Arianod

    Still thinking Marcie can do better.

    1. Idontcarenomore

      Agree

  49. Yotomoe

    Alright y’all. I promised. Here’s the bulk of ALL the DOA I’ve done this year. Even the ones I was nervous to post. A lot of these are NSFW and some of them may be offensive (I say may be because I LITERALLY have no idea anymore but I’m just covering my ass). If you do find issue with some of them you can let me know, but don’t hound me for months about it and don’t bring it up weeks and weeks down the line whenever I make a comment. If you feel like you’re that kind of person I’d rather you not click the link at all! 😀

    Now…I’m off to draw…*sweats* more Malaya….
    http://imgur.com/a/IWkrg

    1. winter

      I chose a good day to scroll through the comments!

      Thanks Yoto, for all the arts!

    2. ggggp

      Wow, uh I’m commenting for the first time just to say that stuff was… something else. You asked for feedback, and the only thing I’ll say is that the stuff with carla seemed a bit off. I guess just because i’ve never seen her as a sexual being. I have a feeling this comment chain might get removed for being NSFW though.

      1. ggggp

        Just to add that I did enjoy looking at it all though.

      2. Yotomoe

        I dunno! I’ve posted NSFW here before and never even been reprimanded for it, but there’s a first time for everything. I did have a warning at least :D.

        Also yeah, Carla’s a little Ooc. So is Carol and Mary to an extent. Some of my interpretations are much looser than others. I just like Carla so I drew lewd Carlas 😀

    3. biffzinker

      Thanks Yotomoe

    4. Orion Fury

      Becky interacting with Browns is best Becky.

    5. Bagge

      …I’ll be in my bunk.

      Seriously – AWESOME!!!!

    6. Idontcarenomore

      Which is more amazing – the art work or the imagination.
      Nice work Yotomoe.

    7. Rukduk

      THIS IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!! I HAVE LOST MY INDOOR VOICE DUE TO EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF APPRECIATION AND MY MOBILE DEVICE IS STUCK ON CAPS FROM IT AS WELL!!! I FEEL LIKE MR. TORGUE!! THANK YOU YOTOMOE!!!

    8. newllend(henryvolt)

      You always did do good work, by the way are we talking about all the work you’ve done over this year or the years in general ? Because you might have missed a few if it’s in general.

      1:http://m.imgur.com/zL7hirk?r
      2:http://i.imgur.com/QXMHFBq.png
      3:http://i.imgur.com/EAG8Qo6.png

      1. Yotomoe

        Oh there’s way more “in general”. I’m mostly posting some from this year but a couple of older ones are in there too
        (I reformat my art folder every year so that I start over from scratch. Most of the older ones are from my NSFW folder which I don’t reformat)

        1. trlkly

          Still haven’t figured out the why you decided that Carol is a bit bigger. She looks the same size as everyone else in the comic to me.

          Though it is nice to see some bigger people.

        2. Yotomoe

          As a way to differentiate her more with Joyce. Although in general I just made the Brown’s a LITTLE bit curvier. That said Joyce DOES have a decent sized chest/hips so it’s not THAT much of an exaggeration.

    9. Pinja

      Noice

    10. Clayton

      Topless Sal saying “Yo, sup?” had me rolling. Thanks

    11. Sporky

      I wonder if Yotomoe likes girls :U

      1. Arianod

        Now, now, why’d you think that?

    12. Emily

      Cool, now I low-key ship Carla and Mary. That wasn’t something I needed or wanted to know about myself but thank you for taking me on this journey of personal discovery.

      1. Spencer

        Such is the power of Yotomoe.

    13. Deanatay

      I’m so happy right now!

    14. The Candyman

      Funny and sexy. What all lewd art should aspire to be.

    15. Roborat

      These are great, and some I have not seen before, so bonus for me. Good artwork and great sense of humour in both the drawing and the writing, you get my vote.

    16. OnyxIdol

      Good stuff, Yoto.

    17. ChrisHerself

      Can’t wait to go through these. You draw adorable curvy ladies and I really like your loose linework. It’s really expressive and comes across effortlessly.

    18. Some1

      me after looking at your art

      http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140325231000/senpai-club/images/0/0a/20130327044306!Nosebleed.gif

  50. acloudofbeesinatrenchcoat

    there’s the ol’ Butts’ Disease flaring up again

  51. Vi

    I’m actually pretty bothered by Malaya insinuating Marcie doesn’t care about Sal anymore. They love each other and she’s Sal’s best/only friend and that just feels like such a mean weird bullshit move. I mean, I guess it is Malaya, but still.

    1. Idontcarenomore

      Exactly. That is Malaya.

    2. Gangler

      Would’ve hit way too close to home for Sal if Malaya had said this last week.

      Wonder if Malaya’s got a knack for finding those sorts of sensitive spots or if it’s just a coincidence.

    3. Charles Phipps

      Well, Sal is literally trying to save Mal out of Marcie’s life for the sole purpose of having Marcie all to herself. So, really, Mal is completely right to do it.

      1. JQuire

        Did you miss where Sal made an effort to befriend Malaya so that she could hang out with her and Marcie? Then when she learned Marcie’s interest in Malaya she backed off and gave them space to hang? I mean, Sal’s efforts to befriend were shitty and shallow at best but that’s so far from “Sal literally trying to save Mal out of Marcie’s life for ht sole purpose of having Marcie all to herself.”

        1. Spencer

          That would be the part where Sal likened Malaya to menstruation and then tried to beat the shit out of her for not being contrite enough.

          She backed off because her best friend in the entire world told her to knock that shit off.

        2. JQuire

          Yea that would be exactly the part I was referring to as “shitty and shallow at best”. My point is Sal GOT that Malaya was gonna be in Marcie’s life and did not try and shove her out so she could monopolize Marcie.

        3. JQuire

          Which would have been super selfish and borderline abusive of Sal (double post because ugh. Posting from phone)

    4. Pinja

      They don’t like each other and have been high rude to each other at every meeting.

      Didn’t they fight just a few days ago in comic-time?

      1. Kamino Neko

        A week or so, I think. That happened before the Ross Incident (in the previous book, in fact), and there was a timeskip of most of a week between the Incident, and now.

      2. Kamino Neko

        To be a bit more specific… There was at least one whole day between Butterflies Won’t Fly Away (when Sal and Malaya had their fight re: Marcie) and Those Who Would Ground Me (when the Ross Incident happened), during which Walking With Dina happened.

    5. trlkly

      Yip. First reason I’ve actually had to think she’s actually horrible, and not just, well, nothing.

      Still, she’s also very clearly jealous, so I’m giving her a bit of slack–for now.

  52. thatoneguy94

    Dat ass dough….

    1. Kamino Neko

      How dare you imply Malaya’s ass is doughy!

      1. Yotomoe

        It’ is dough….
        Because I kneed(need) it.

  53. Kris

    I have to inquire if being in a literal high speed car chase with a gun toting maniac and an actual caped vigilante counts as “nothing goin’ on”? That was what two days ago? Although I’m guessing Malaya’s not the type to keep up with current events.

    1. Bagge

      Sal made sure not to advertise the fact she was involved.

    2. Tacos

      It was like a week and a half ago.

      1. Kris

        I genuinely lose all concept of time in this comic. How long has it even been since Joyce first got to IU? It feels like a year but I know it’s not. My best guess is three to six months.

        1. MadFlenser

          Saw a Timeline somewhere that put it at like six weeks. So yeah.

        2. John

          Today is Saturday of Week 5, the 35th day of the comic.

          The car chase was Monday of Week 5. Tuesday through Thursday were skipped.

          My name and gravatar are (usually) a link to a detailed timeline. I’m currently only caught up to about halfway through yesterday, though.

        3. trlkly

          I honestly think this thing might do better if were on a wiki, so the load could be shared. It just looks like the sort of thing that is usually collaborative. I even instinctively looked for the Edit button the last time I saw it and realized it was a bit behind.

        4. Briny

          If it were on a Wiki, everyone with a headcanon and a fan-theory would edit it to fit what they think it was.

          Good work, John!

        5. Bicycle Bill

          Uhhh … the timeline IS on walkypedia
          http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dumbing_of_Age_Timeline

        6. John

          If you want to put a more detailed timeline on Walkypedia (as Bill says, there’s a basic one there already), no one’s stopping you. I’m not moving mine over there, for any number of reasons, and I’m sure as hell not setting up a wiki of my own that I’d have to moderate.

          (I notice that the timeline that is on Walkypedia is also only up to date through the last storyline, and all it needs is one line for the current one.)

          And note that there are reasons, beyond my laziness, that I don’t keep the timeline perfectly up to date. (I’m here at midnight almost every night; I could without much trouble.) I prefer to let things shake out a little so the context of stuff is clear instead of trying to do a play-by-play in the middle of events. (Though I probably should get it caught up to at least the beginning of this storyline.) And for the purposes I use it for (which are, frankly, its sole reason for existing; anyone else getting use out of it is just a nice side effect), it’s at least as easy to just use the character tags for recent stuff.

        7. John

          Incidentally, I’ve caught it up to the beginning of the current storyline now.

  54. Yotomoe

    http://imgur.com/aEonGrq
    Fun Fact: I’ve liked Malaya since January 27th, 2012.

    1. Bagge

      Fun fact: So has Marcie

      1. Needfuldoer

        Yotomoe is actually Marcie CONFIRMED.

        For our next myth, is Jamie flammable?

  55. BenRG

    Fundamental, Malaya’s vile attitude comes from a combination of possessivness and insecurity.

  56. Palamdrone

    Unless Marcy has a retractable robot hand that comes out of her chest, I don’t think she has much of a chance.

    1. Yotomoe

      Y’-You mean not everyone has one of those?

    2. inqntrol

      Oh right, Shortpacked Malaya really liked Ultra Car’s third hand.

      1. Palamdrone

        Its the only thing she liked.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Somebody clearly didn’t read the arc.

  57. Pinja

    My fave character just became more fave

    ‘Dat ass

    1. Clayton

      ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Willis taketh, but Willis giveth away

      1. Mordecai

        *butt

  58. notquitestup1d

    This will be a sweet addition to the butt collage.

  59. Lordess of madness

    Yes you will Sal, yes you will

  60. BenRG

    I’m really hoping that Marcie gets wind of what’s going on here and bangs Sal and Marcie’s heads together until they either both lose consciousness or both realise that she is not choosing one of them over the other, ever because they both have an equally important role in her life.

    That said, I’m wondering if she’s limiting contact with Sal because she’s worried that her inability to find friends beyond her is stunting her emotionally (although Sal doesn’t need much extra external cause for having emotional issues).

    PREDICTION: Sal confides in practically the only person who has treated her as people – Danny. This leads to… complications with Amazi-Girl.

    1. BenRG

      I meant “Sal and Malaya’s heads” of course. The perils of posting in a hurry!

    2. thejeff

      I think Sal’s pretty much figured it out, now that she knows Marcie wants something different from Malaya, though she may still be upset about getting less Marcie time.
      Malaya, OTOH, apparently doesn’t know yet,but will probably understand once Marcie makes a blatant enough move.

  61. OnyxIdol

    wiggle wiggle wiggle, just a little bittle.

  62. MisterGunpowder

    …Wouldn’t the apostrophe make it differ’nt, not diff’ernt? Or possibly it was intended to be diff’rent?

    1. TheEighthShader

      Its her accent, making it sound like Diff-earnt.

    2. Spencer

      Maybe David Willis learned southern accents from Chris Claremont, y’all.

    3. Yotomoe

      diff’rent strokes I guess.

    4. smooti

      Southerner here: I’ve heard it both ways, though “diff-urnt” is more Alabama than Tennesseee, which is where the Catholic school was.

  63. LWS

    “certainly sooner in those shorts;” more like “certainly sooner she’ll be out of those shorts!”

  64. TheEighthShader

    BUTTS

  65. smooti

    I love how even Sal, who hates Malaya and does not appear to be attracted to women, can appreciate.

    Marcie’s a lucky woman.

    1. Heavensrun

      Marcie is not necessarily a lucky woman. We don’t actually know if Malaya would reciprocate her feelings. In Shortpacked!, Malaya was a robosexual who broke Leslie’s heart by being not-gay after all. Now maybe she was actually just not into Leslie, but that still means her sexual preference in this continuity is kind of a question mark.

      1. smooti

        True. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that since Malaya wasn’t attracted to most people in Shortpacked!, in this less fantastical world it means she’s demi or grey ace instead?

        Who knows yet though. I think Malaya not getting it here is more Malaya not being good with people than Malaya not seeing Marcie as a potential partner.

  66. Sigurther

    I’d say ‘dat ass tho’, but everything else about Malaya just ruins her.

    1. Deanatay

      Malaya: Dat ass, with dat ass.

  67. Yotomoe

    http://i.imgur.com/uoOOiyk.png
    at this rate I’ll be making the porn before Willis can even get to a slipshine point.

    1. inqntrol

      And then you should charge people to see it. ‘Cuz why not?

      1. Yotomoe

        I’d never charge people to see such a thing. Especially since I’m far too lazy to actually make it. Unless I was commissioned :P.

    2. smooti

      WHY DON’T THE COMMENTS HAVE A LIKE BUTTON

  68. nothri

    SO basically she wants Malaya’s ass, which works at well because she’s always acting like one! HA!

    1. Spencer

      I’ve started to wonder if Sal, perhaps, thinks that once Marcie bangs Malaya then she’ll be done with her.

      1. Bagge

        That’s how it worked with Sal and Jason after all, and that fits with how completely Sal changed her tune once Marcie explained what she wanted from Malaya.

        Right now we simply don’t know what either Sal or Marcie – or Malaya want. The only thing we can be sure of is that they will talk it out calmly and respectfully without leaving room for misunderstandings.

  69. Ryan

    God what an objectively awful person.

    1. Arianod

      Nah. You should have known her in Shortpacked! This version of Malaya isn’t half as awful as the old one (so far, at least)

    2. chris73

      Yeah Sal is unpleasant, maybe she’ll mature a bit

  70. Shadow12000

    So what you’re saying is, the longer she’s in those pants, the sooner the new Slipshine comic comes out.

    1. Shadow12000

      Why does it seem like every time I post something, my gravitar has somehow changed to match it?

      1. Arianod

        Because it gravitates towards it ^^

  71. nibblrrr

    Ahh, the butt. Truly, an exquisite element of the universe! Otherwise known as the ‘arse’, it expresses nearly every element of our lives, and what defines our culture today.

    1. nibblrrr

      …
      (ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS)

      1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        I appreciate this reference.

  72. Keulan

    Butts disease flaring up again, Willis?

  73. Arianod

    The thing is, what will happend when she finds out.

  74. Dave

    Saw a girl on the sidewalk with short shorts yesterday and her bum cheeks were hanging out the bottom. Is that a thing now? That’s the 3rd or 4th such sighting. I predict more car accidents this summer if that’s a thing. And I mention that simply to point out that Malaya is being fairly conservative by comparison in her choice of clothing.

    1. Arianod

      I wouldn’t be surprised if she voted for Trump.

      1. Yotomoe

        Trump’s not liberal enough to appeal to something as liberating as short shorts.

      2. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        Thats…an interesting assumption, to say the least.

    2. ChrisHerself

      The first time I saw that I started reflexively clutching imaginary pearls, and knew then without a doubt that I was officially Old People.

  75. EnchidnaBean

    I think the character pages should up updated with buttshots for each of them. We need butt-equality!

  76. PerilsoRosella

    DOes Mayala not get it? I totes thought she did.

  77. Scar Man!!!

    Ok, waking someone up rudely is one thing, but telling them that their best friend in the entire world, who makes almost her entire support network, is going to abandon is just wrong.

    You know what, censors better catch this one, because screw it.

    Fuck you, Malaya. Fuck you and your family unto the the seventh generation

  78. Mick the Nerd

    Oooooooooooh boy I weirdly feel bad for Malaya here. She CLEARLY has no idea Marcie wants her.

  79. Aaron Bourque

    Wait, is Malaya suggesting that Marcie should remove herself from all other social attachments and that the only person she should have in her life is Malaya?

    Yeah, that’s not creepy or anything.

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