148

Public statement
Posted on December 9, 2024 by David M Willis

148 thoughts on “Public statement”

  1. Animedingo

    Has she ever even seen amazigirl? Their builds arent even close

    1. Charles Phipps

      Yes.

      She’d also know that Sal and Amazi-Girl PHYSICALLY FOUGHT at the Desanto rally in front of hundreds of witnesses if she had the slightest bit of awareness.

      1. Proxiehunter

        Superheroes physically fight themselves or their secret identities pretty damn often actually. It’s a hazard of the occupation.

        1. Charles Phipps

          I thought the solution to Ethan’s problems might be having to fight Emo Ethan in a junkyard.

          Can we get some cigarette flavored Kryptonite for that?

        2. Furie

          Only after blowjob cat’s mouth has been forcibly shut by something.

        3. Darkseide

          Blowjob Cat would just blow it out

        4. Doug D

          I know, right? Meanwhile, regular people like us are lucky if we get to do that two, maybe three times in our lifetimes.

      2. Amelie Wikström

        Yeah there are a lot of people who could tell Jennifer about that fight, and a few who could talk about Sal and Amazi-Girl fighting crime together for a number of nights, or about how around the same time Amber and Sal had a violent fight and then Sal joined Amber’s roller derby team where Amber does her anger management while wearing a costume just like Amazi-Girl’s. . .

        If Jennifer thought that journalism meant talking to people to find out what they have to say rather than deciding what happened and then telling people so they’ll know how cool and right she is, I guess.

        1. Nedlum

          She might have seen a girl on the team who looked just like Amazi-girl, but she’d probably been to busy focusing on Carla to notice.

        2. BadRoad

          Sounds like she’d rather be a prosecutor than a journalist.

    2. Deanatay

      Ask yourself this question: in Its Walky, how long did it take Walky to realize Beef wasn’t his genetic brother?

    3. HueSatLight

      I was wrong about Carla being faceblind, but maybe Jennifer is butt-blind. she identifies people by whether or not they climb through windows

    4. anon

      A lot of time (or at least drinks) have passed since they interacted so i can imagine jen not remember specific details

    5. Freemage

      They spoke, after Amazi-Girl literally carried Billie down the hallway to end a fight. There was no way that Billie did not see:

      Amazi-girl’s lily-white complexion.
      Amazi-girl’s stocky frame.
      Amazi-girl’s rack.

      In short, this whole subplot is phenomenally dumb.

      Start here:
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/nerds/

  2. NGPZ

    Next on Sick Sad World… 9-9

    1. True Survivor

      What does 9-9 mean? It sort of looks like a person with bags under their eyes, staring off into space with the impassive incomprehension of the exhausted.

      1. Marisa Mockery

        You nailed it buddy

      2. NGPZ

        yee it an eye roll LOL

  3. ThatDerpGuy

    Oh, Billifer.

    1. Rolf of Many Doors

      Jillifer is such a card

  4. Thag Simmons

    Truly spectacular instincts on Jen’s part

  5. Raven

    Amazigirl has a totally different body type, you bongo!

    (also with Sal’s hand injury, I feel like she wouldn’t be able to do some of the climbing Amazigirl gets up to)

    1. jeffepp

      Climbing IS her preferred way in and out of a room/building. This is not defending Jenn-a-billie, of course.

      1. ktbear

        This is exactly why Jennifer thinks she’s Amazigirl though.

      2. BBCC

        We do know Sal doesn’t have 100% function in her right hand though. Seems to most affect fine motor work but I still feel that would impact the ability for her to be AG.

    2. Nymph

      Totally different build, hair color, hair texture, hair length, skin color…

      Jennifer thinks she’s a shapeshifter tbh.

      1. Sam

        Jennifer’s reasoning is basically ‘Joyce is likely racist’, Sal wears heels to seem taller, her hair could be a wig, no explanation for build, Sal is basically a Batman.

        Except you know, if she paid attention ever she’d realise she’s wrong but paying attention to other people that she isn’t dating and trying to fix is hard.

        Create pointless drama instead.

        1. thejeff

          She’s basically Batman and Batman is a master of disguise, after all.

  6. Charles Phipps

    A reminder how long Jennifer has been thinking Sal is Amazi-Girl.

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/hero/

    January 5th, ***2012***

    1. Wendy

      …That means I’ve been reading this comic for over 12 years now. Jesus Christ.

      1. Charles Phipps

        Shortpacked has the perfect comic for that.

        https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/re-wheatcakes

        Willis, as a fellow comedian, you are a genius.

        1. NGPZ

          wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff, ammi right? XD

          I’ve been reading for 7 years now, and it’s been a transformative experience all the while

        2. NGPZ

          BTW does anyone know what day of the week it is in comic?

          that seems all too easy to lose track of…

        3. thejeff

          For me it was Tuesday two days ago, which makes this Thursday.

        4. HueSatLight

          for me too

        5. Needfuldoer

          It should be January 27th.

          https://walkypedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dumbing_of_Age_Timeline

          That’s either a Wednesday or a Thursday depending on whether DoA “season 2” is following 2011’s calendar (continuing off of “season 1” using 2010’s) or 2021’s (assuming it skipped ahead on the 10 year anniversary).

        6. thejeff

          It has to be Thursday, based on “For Me it was Tuesday” being 2 days ago.

          Day of the month is harder to figure.

        7. Needfuldoer

          I thought we had it pinned down again after Ruth’s birthday?

          Somebody even deeper into the DoA lore iceberg than I am probably knows for certain. I’m just going by Walkypedia.

        8. thejeff

          We might well have. My point was just that it’s definitely Thursday, whatever day of the month it is.

      2. Opus the Poet

        I got you beat, I followed the link from Shortpacked to the first page.

    2. Seralyna

      In case anyone is wondering, this is the strip that relativley shortly followed it, which made her very confident it was sal. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/knewit/

      A few days after reailsing her roomate fit the exact amazi girl profile, she catches amazi girl climbing out of her room, the exact way that sal does.

      1. CJ

        Obviously Sal wears whiteface and a wig

      2. NGPZ

        so her thinking AG is Sal is fueled by a grudge, got it

        keep on chasing this, Jennifer 9-9

        1. Deanatay

          I mean, this IS Billifer. Her two driving forces are rage and embarrassment.

    3. Amós Batista

      Jennifer on her 60’s, shouting at Sal’s garden: “I knew ya since college, you old rrrrrrrascal…”

  7. Pocky

    Also note to self: get eyes reexamined.

    1. Charles Phipps

      Jennifer notably dismissed Sal being black and Amazi-Girl being white because Joyce thought Jennifer was white.

      And later Mexican.

      Mind you, Jennifer’s thought process is still:

      1. Joyce is unintentionally racist
      2. ???
      3. Amazi-Girl could be biracial

  8. darkoneko

    no she didn’t.

  9. Wendy

    Jennifer PLEASE

    1. Charles Phipps

      Most people would find it flattering or amusing.

      But Amazi-Girl is also a person who literally STABBED Sal.

      1. NGPZ

        yeah Jennifer here is nothin but fucking annoying, like those TMZ camera-folk bothering celebrities just doing gardening and shit

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Sal answered in a way that anyone except Billie/Jennifer, would understand.

    Today’s lesson: There isn’t one; go home.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Today I am extra glad to have Sal gravatar.

    2. Thag Simmons

      To Jen’s very limited credit “angry denial” is a much easier thing to assume is protesting too much than “hey idiot, do you have any idea what she actually looks like?” or “I’ve fought with her in public with witnesses and camera footage that can corroborate my account of events”

  11. Charles Phipps

    Daisy already knows who Amazi-Girl is.

    Dorothy is her secret fetish. She just pads her suit!

    Who else would it be but our President to be?

  12. darkoneko

    other stickers aside, Malaya doesn’t exactly strikes me as the sort of person that would write “Malaya ⭐” on their door. But then who wrote it ?

    1. Proxiehunter

      Marcie?

      1. Jamie

        … the blind girl?

        1. Thag Simmons

          Be kind of hard for her to play Roller Derby if she was blind.

        2. Vanessa

          Apparently legally people participate, there is no little ball to keep track of just human bodies, right?

        3. Vanessa

          This guy, famously: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sammy_Skobel

        4. Tan

          The perhaps more salient example is how she communicates through (non-tactile) sign language.

        5. Jon S.

          Mute. Not blind. She just likes rocking the shades.

    2. Nymphie

      The star might be there to display her being jammer on the derby team

  13. Sirksome

    This is probably for the best…..lsomehow.

  14. Suet

    “Sorry Jennifer! But our Amazi-Girl is in another room!”

    Dumbing of Age would never break THAT kind of fourth wall

    1. Suet

      Other Rachel? Spider-Car? What is this poll?

      Rose? Whatever happened to her anyway

      1. HueSatLight

        Rachel Moore and Rose have roughly the same build. Spider-car was a rival/teammate of AG in the Walkyverse. Lucy was AG2 in the Walkyverse. I don’t know why Dorothy is on the list.
        It’s a trick, the real amazi-girl isn’t on the list.

        1. thejeff

          I voted Lucy. She’s the only Amazi-Girl on that list.

  15. Joe Moose

    Nice fourth wall beak in the alts

  16. Charles Phipps

    I actually understand Jennifer’s reasoning for why Sal is Amazi-Girl. Sal can scale buildings, fight off multiple men larger than her, has an absolute sense of justice, and perform blockbuster action stunts on bikes.

    It’s just you know…tall biracial black woman. Like a teenage Rosario Dawson.

    Amber…small white woman.

    1. DashWallkick

      Jennifer is one of those people who believes the first thing that she thinks of and then just insists if she thought it up it must mean it’s true. The fact that Amber is visibly bushy haired and pale is largely irrelevant.

  17. Davus

    Yeah, it does occur to me that, as a journalist, Jennifer should have done her homework. However, jennifer’s not a good journalist. (I wouldn’t be suprised if she did it so she could get a press pass or something.)

  18. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    But once you look beyond the panels, forever after will it dominate your destiny.

  19. Nono

    I’ve been struggling a bit to ‘like’ Jennifer as a protagonist. She’s been almost nothing but a pill for like 90% post timeskip, and any ‘good’ moments are swiftly erased.

    The best I can say is that at least she’s low-stakes drama and we’re just waiting for the schadenfreude payoff I guess.

    1. Jamie

      I’m not sure Jennifer has ever been a protagonist. She’s occasionally a viewpoint character, but I don’t think she’s ever actually driven the plot by her action or even inaction. (I’m not really up for re-reading the suicide pact storyline, which I think is where she was closest to being a protag.)

      1. Jeremiah

        You are pretty much wrong about that and really “the plot” is literally just the these characters lives, so anything she does advance her particular plot.

    2. Erica

      You don’t have to like protagonists

    3. Jeremiah

      Well, you aren’t mean to like her for what she does, she is a trashfire of a human being with glaring personality flaws, that is what make her interesting if not a likable

    4. Devin

      I definitely think of her as an antagonist. The literary definition doesn’t fit super well if for no other reason than we don’t really have A Protagonist per se, but she’s pretty antagonistic towards most of the rest of the cast, so I’m calling it close enough.

      1. Jeremiah

        Eeeeh, kind of a stretch, being “antagonistic” and being an Antagonist in a story are pretty different things. I don’t think she has really done anything that warrant that tittle. She can be a protagonist and be unlikable those aren’t mutually exclusive concepts.

        1. Devin

          A little stretching is good for the health

        2. NGPZ

          so long as ya remember to do it *after* exercising, not before XD

        3. Jeremiah

          That is literally what all my gym teachers say to do.

  20. Ty34er

    “Amazi-Girl is on mah Roller Derby Team. Just come to a match and you’ll see I ain’t her.”

    1. Needfuldoer

      “Wait, why wouldn’t you just tell me Marcie is Amazi-Girl?”

      “Marcie ain’t her, either!”

      1. Ty34er

        This is the correct reply for my comment. Outstanding move, 10/10, you win the DoA No Prize!

  21. UrsulaDavina

    I don’t know how many times Jenifer has insisted on the theory that Sal is Amazi Girl but at this point she is sextupling down on it.

    1. Jamie

      Is there anything Jennifer hasn’t doubled down on?

      Maybe the alcoholism, I guess.

    2. Needfuldoer

      She has concepts of a journalism.

  22. IntangibleMatter

    At this point she has to be willfully ignorant, right?

    1. Opus the Poet

      Jennifer was a trump voter in the our world AU.

  23. Thing2

    And then there was https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/white-2/

    1. Charles Phipps

      Joyce, of course, gets the obvious point.

  24. True Survivor

    No wonder Ruth broke up with her; she doesn’t even act with journalistic integrity.

    1. Charles Phipps

      So, how long until Daisy commissions the Computer Club (Ken?) to make spider slayers.

      or turns Mary into the Scorpion?

      1. Thag Simmons

        I feel like she can do better than Mary

    2. Jamie

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/cnn/

  25. audkitten

    Who is Miss Sakaki?

    1. Thag Simmons

      Jocelyne’s cat

      1. DashWallkick

        And Willis’s.

        1. NGPZ

          LONG LIVE MISS SAKAKI ??

  26. Maddie B

    A brain scan for Billifer, please! We need to find out what’s going on in there!

    1. Opus the Poet

      You think she might have a TBI?

    2. Needfuldoer

      Two common-sense brain cells in a dead-heat competition for third place.

  27. William

    In the second to last panel, did she consider for a moment that she might actually be wrong about Sal and then immediately sashayed back into denial mode? Or is did she just take an extra moment to process the denial?

    1. Grayfinity

      Billifer is never wrong about anything, ever. /s

    2. Jamie

      Tbh, I think she was wondering if she had any further arguments for convincing Sal and decided she didn’t.

    3. Yumi

      “I don’t know why Sal is being so weird about this.”

    4. Needfuldoer

      She’s that Principal Skinner meme. “Am I so out of touch? No. It is Sal who is wrong.”

      Or maybe Fonzie

  28. Dday

    Jen is one of those people that comes up with an idea and straight up starts believing it, zero evidence required. Unshakable assumptions based on raw stubbornness, I’ve met alllll different kindsa people like this.

    1. Jeremiah

      They are the one that elected the president after all!

  29. staszu13

    Oh well Jennifer definitely has a future at Fox News: snotty attitude, reckless disregard for facts etc

    1. Michael Steamweed

      She might make for a good Fox “News” smiling face person. Probably would need to change her hair to blonde.

      1. Jeremiah

        And probably stop being half asian.

        1. Schpoonman

          She’d definitely be one of their token minorities, with either half emphasized depending on what target they’re trying to bamboozle.

  30. IniquitousKing

    Given how many bridges Jennifer’s burned lately, I feel like losing her position at the newspaper would be a sensible next step.

    1. Archieve

      don’t think she has a paid position so probably not but it would be nice if daisy called her out on her poor journalism. she gave Jennifer feedback at the beginning of the term and i don’t think she listened at all.

  31. AlexaSpuds

    Amber and Sal don’t even have the same skin color, how is Billie so fucking dense she can’t do the simple math of “white≠brown”???

    1. Now

      She’s talked about it before! She said the skin color is a matter of perception, and that if you expect Amazi-girl to be white she’ll be white because the whole superhero outfit obscures the rest (and then she never changed her mind because that’s Jennifer and she’s, of course, always right about everything)

      1. Needfuldoer

        Of course, now it all makes sense! Santa is Amazi-Girl!

  32. BBCC

    Well, Jennifer won’t reveal her secret, that’s for sure.

  33. Ophidiophile

    Sal is probably regretting not diving out the window when she had the chance.

  34. Zamperla

    I think the funniest part of this is that she thinks Sal would. WANT a front page quote. Like look at that big grin, like its an indulgent beguiling draw. Fascinating.

    Anyhow I personally dont think Jennifer’s stupid. She’s perfectly smart. It’s just hard to overstate how badly “i already decided I think I know what’s right” can carry people if you don’t do a lot of self reflection. Jennifer doesn’t ‘do’ self reflection. She has specifically backed away from self reflection.

    She ain’t evil, she ain’t dumb. She has a fixed idea in her head and won’t even self reflect her way into Liking Girls not being a fluke. Such it do.

    1. Schpoonman

      Was talking to a friend yesterday about that, clearly intelligent people who have missed an entire array of points so hard their appearance loops back to “idiot.”

      1. Zamperla

        It’s a known human error! We just literally have a hard time taking in new information when it conflicts with something we already believe- see also, “joyces whole incredibly difficult time pulling away from a fundy upbringing”. The difference is if you make an effort to stop, and think, and sit with the really uncomfortable feeling of Having Been Wrong.

        Which. Gestures at Jennifer.

  35. Amós Batista

    Damn, Other Rachel in second. I’m surprised and happy.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Well, yeah, since Carla wasn’t listed among the candidates. Had to go with the next logical choice.

      1. Morleuca

        I have to admit I went with Rose, because I can’t remember who Rose is.

        1. Michael Steamweed

          I went with Other Rachel because I didn’t know who Rose or Spider Car is.

  36. ValdVin

    What is the red and yellow heart-shaped thing on the door?

  37. Hof1991

    1. She’s right in that AG has no comment.

    2. Book recommendation: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts – https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/81df626a-3309-45c2-a38b-9cec1614ce7a

  38. BorkBorkBork

    You know that midwestern, conservative, lower-middle-class soccer mom attitude? The whole “Oh, I don’t see color” schtick?

    I guess Jennifer *literally* has that going on. Along with “I don’t see body shape,” “I don’t see hair color, length, or texture,” and “I don’t see the rest of the universe that I can’t pretend isn’t centered around me.”

  39. Laserbeaks Fury

    Does anyone have a close up of that Derby sticker? At this distance it looks like Carla just had a bunch of stickers of her in derby gear flipping a bird, which absolutely tracks.

  40. John

    Jennifer is just, like, the worst journalist student ever, isn’t she.

    1. NGPZ

      yuuuuup

      but even if she fails as a real journalist, she can always be a news anchor, what with all the make-up she can buy with her parents’ money (-_-)

    2. anon

      inb4 she becomes some sorta ‘grifter’ lol if not a clickbait influencer

  41. Pseudowolf

    I just don’t get how Jennifer still thinks it’s Sal. She’s seen Amazi-girl closely enough to tell that her skin is much lighter than Sal’s and that Sal is taller.
    So Jennifer is really just that convinced that she won’t consider evidence to the contrary or she thinks “Sal” is Amazi-girl in blackface and with lifts in her shoes.

  42. Kazuma Taichi

    Jennifer would never look at the comic tags to see when Amazi-Girl is tagged. They’re beneath her afterall >:3c

  43. thumb

    I suspect this is going to get Sal into trouble eventually. Either she gets punished for Amazi-Girl’s vigilante violence, or people who have beef with Amazi-Girl come for her and violence ensues. Either way, there’ll be plenty of people willing to believe the worst about Sal despite the fact that her main characteristic is not wanting to be involved with this shit.

    1. anon

      I mean a vigilante is hard to believe but i can imagine there’d be leslie who could confirm they aren’t the same person

  44. ian livs

    Plot twist: Jennifer is Amazi-Girl and is trying to throw everyone off the scent

  45. Poyo

    i find it funny no ones pointed out to jennifer the most glaring difference between sal and amazi-girl

    1. anon

      LOL if she did run into amazigirl after this /see them in the same room i can totally imagine her being liek “so is she your understudy/did you hire so extra help” or so

    2. Charles Phipps

      Joyce actually pointed it out.

      Jennifer’s response, “OF COURSE you’d think Amazi-Girl was black.”

      1. Charles Phipps

        Ah, here it is:

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/white-2/

        1. Poyo

          the way ive read this comic 3 times and STILL forget things lol. this is gonna be so funny when jennifer does find out

    3. Yumi

      Following the previous link, eventually some people just gave up on trying to convince Jennifer: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/holes-2/

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