Sarah was prepared to push past her social anxiety, even risk her future for even a chance at Jacob, but didn’t have it in her to take that opportunity when it was right in front of her.
Where-as no such hoops exist for Lucy. It’s not fair, it was never fair.
All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and Sarah at last is compelled to face with ironically sober senses the reality of her condition, and her relationship with others
Yeah I guess she was on to something the first time around – cynical, result oriented loner with no time for relationships. The perfect strategy for college if you can pull it off without the stress and regrets eating you alive.
That last part is something I ain’t no stranger to, except for me I dropped out because of the 2020 pandemic and wound up focusing on freelance game programming.
Opportunities are ALWAYS being missed because of factors one cannot control, and if I still feel like a loser because I ain’t got no degree or girlfriend, I just tell myself that life is much like arcade fighter games like Street Fighter 2, which were known for downright cheating the player to make them keep pumping in quarters.
That is, we are often made to feel like we’re “losers” and “missing out” because someone long ago decided it should be that way for purely selfish reasons. And all you have to do is take that power back from them, and you will be a winner.
Laura
So true!!!
We don’t give ourselves enough credit for the MOUNTAINS we have climbed!
We are salmon, swimming and leaping and flopping upstream! Thank you for the theme song!!!
My sister and I were once talking about all the “successful” people who are younger than us. Then we realized what an amazing accomplishment it is just to BE US. Every victory — staying clean and sober, staying stably housed, staying out of prison or jail, staying free from hospitals, maintaining a relationship, getting health care, meeting our daily needs, maintaining a routine… just using the spoons to get UP out of BED EVERY DAY and focus on ALL those projects is a tremendous life accomplishment!
Laura
(I don’t mean any shade to anyone who is NOT doing all those things, of course! Everyone has their own vital goals and circumstances and states of being. I just meant those were the steps that my sister and I, each personally, wanted to celebrate at that time.)
Laura
Sorry. Sorry — that came out all wrong…
D-x *Facepalm*.
I’d edit it if I could. Came off the wrong way. Did not mean to sound smug.
Just that everyone is working on climbing the stairs in front of them. That’s all I meant to say.
Taffy
Your comment didn’t come off remotely smug. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and if somebody has things a little better than someone else, they’re still allowed to be happy about what they’ve managed to accomplish. Anyone who’d hold good fortune and hard work against someone else isn’t worth pleasing, anyway.
Laura
Thank you, Taffy. I appreciate you.
Vanessa
That was lovely. Yes, a good accomplishment and worth appreciating.
And next thing you know you’re closing in on 40, still alone.
Steamweed
And the dating/romance landscape at 40 (not to mention 50, 60, etc) is radically different than anything you’ve experienced before. It doesn’t get easier with age; it goes the opposite way.
Needfuldoer
And you run and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it’s sinking
Racing around, to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older
Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death
If there is one thing I have learned the hard way, it’s that framing one’s goals too tightly can make it more difficult to achieve them, as we have also seen with Dorothy’s struggle.
Instead of attempting to answer, “how do I become president”, perhaps a better problem for her to solve would be “how do I help as many people as possible” and “how do I help them”?
As for love life, perhaps instead of asking “how do I find a partner”, perhaps a better question would be “what do I want out of a partner?” and “will I necessarily be able to fulfill those desires and not feel so lonely with the help of but a single person”?
Western culture’s established Romanticist idea that a romantic partner is necessarily the answer to all that can easily do more harm than good, as explored in this 5-minute video by School of Life I think is very much worth a watch:
I’m not seeing the “didn’t have it in her to take that opportunity” part. It’s not like she hasn’t tried. She’s been really, really forward with Jacob lately. He simply isn’t interested in what she’s got to offer. That’s not Sarah failing to act when she had a chance, that’s just Sarah never having a chance in the first place.
Like when they were at the gym, and he wanted to have a conversation with her. And she was just objectifying him. Or when he said “I would be happy to hang out with you if you could be honest about how you feel.” And she told him that she was horny. He wants a relationship that isn’t based around sex, and Sarah might not be the right person for that.
BorkBorkBork
Thank you for being the rational person here.
It’s not that Sarah’s “not attractive enough” or that he “isn’t interested in what she’s got to offer.” It’s that Sarah and Jacob don’t want the same things. He wants a relationship, and she doesn’t. Not yet at least. She’s barely comfortable with the idea of opening up her shell and trying to be friends. If it was Jacob and Sarah kissing right now, you *know* that after the kiss ended, the only “opening up” Sarah would be comfortable with doing would be Jacob’s shirt.
We all know that, right? If one person wants a relationship, and the other person only wants a fuckbuddy but is willing to *endure* the pretense of a relationship to get in their pants, then they shouldn’t be together, right?
Hell – isn’t that basically what Sarah is afraid Joe is doing to Joyce right now, and why she’s so overprotective?
Lucy wants a relationship with someone who will value her, respect her, and when it comes to it, defend her. Jacob can give her that.
Jacob wants a relationship with someone who is genuinely kind and caring, and who is willing to be friends first. Lucy can give him that.
thejeff
I think you’re wrong here. I think Sarah does now want more than just fuckbuddy status, she’s just trapped behind the facade she’s had up so long and terrified of letting herself be vulnerable enough.
I don’t think what’s she’s been struggling with in reaching out to him has just been to get into his pants. It’s just really hard for her.
BorkBorkBork
I both agree and disagree with you.
She doesn’t want a relationship. At best, she wants to want a relationship. Or, she wants to be the kind of person who would want a relationship. But the relationship itself is scary and uncomfortable and would make her very very vulnerable and so every fiber of her being is pulling her back.
You can say that’s “wanting it but terrified” and I can say that’s “not wanting it, but wanting to want it,” but either way we’re describing the same thing.
I mean, she literally fought with Jacob about how angry she was that he just kept giving her so many chances and being so nice, when all she just wanted to do was bone. To her, THAT was opening up. She still believes that the kind words she said about him are BS. She still says she hates people. She didn’t show a twinge of discomfort when acknowledging that she had no idea which phone number was Lucy’s. There’s an epiphany here that hasn’t happened yet: she’s taking actions because she WANTS to evolve, but she hasn’t yet learned what she needs to in order to really change.
The only ‘relationship’ that I truly think she’d willingly endure at this point was one basically like what Joyce thrust upon her – in which the other person just chose to love her, unconditionally, with infinite patience, letting all her insults and arguments and abrasiveness go, until eventually she was worn down enough to stop fighting and just accept it. And that’s *horrifying*.
I hope that this will be something that pushes her in the right direction. She can’t really be a good partner if she never really learns to be a good friend, and she can’t learn to be a good friend until she learns to love herself. Because she *hates* herself, and what she’s had to do and who she’s had to become to get where she is in the world.
Sorry. Got a bit psychoanalysis-y. Lotta that’s headcanon, I know. But I don’t think I’m off base.
I don’t think that Lucy is currently Raidah-ing, but I do think that Raidah herself will absolutely stick her unwanted nose into this once she finds out about it.
To be fair, though we haven’t focused on them as much, the hoops exist for Lucy too. She spent months interested in Walky, without being able to make a move on him to get things started. Here, she’s making her move boldly and blatantly.
Definitely a big change.
Lucy’s into sitcom schemes, but I can’t see Jacob going along with it after what happened with Joyce. He also just doesn’t seem the type. And I don’t think Lucy would do it without cooperation with Jacob.
Now you’ve got me wondering what are the official minimum specificications for “sea” and who makes them official.
Rectilinear Propagation
Most seas have are partially enclosed by land and are located where land meets the sea. The Sargasso Sea is the exception; it’s defined only by currents. I think it’s currently the International Hydrographic Organization (IHO) that makes those decisions.
I also. But don’t blame Jacob – or Lucy for that matter – for Sarah not closing the deal.
Maybe crisis not averted after all
Nono
I don’t blame Lucy for getting with Jacob, just found it a bit funny that not even a few hours ago she was making mopey faces about him going back to Dorothy after just two days.
staszu13
Considering Lucy really traded up (football star, teatotaller, nice guy, built) I would say Lucy is at the “who’s Walky” stage now
Laura
Not to mention devout!
DashWallkick
She’s Joyce without the baggage. Not a shocker he went for her.
Wereg
I think current Lucy is at least partially acting in this way because of earlier.
He and Sarah JUST had a heart to heart, where they were open about their feelings, or at least Sarah was. Jacob danced around the issue, knowing that Sarah was romantically interested in him.
And then he kisses a random stranger right in front of her not three hours later? That’s MESSED UP, dude.
If you aren’t interested in Sarah, you owe it to her to communicate that clearly and not keep stringing her along while you play the field. Both Sarah and Lucy are innocent here, Jacob’s the one at fault.
I could forgive Jacob if he was drunk, but he mad a point of saying to Sarah he was not drinking
Kelibath
It’s even worse than that; Lucy is not just clearly on the rebound, but she’s also had at least three plastic cups of booze by now – he’s not drunk, and she’s *acting* sober and in charge, but he doesn’t know for sure how in control she really is. I get the same way after a couple of drinks and while I’m definitely barely into tipsy I would still side-eye a totally sober friend being willing to jump my bones in that state. Even if I wasn’t asexual! Maybe it’s the age gap – university was over ten years ago for me now – but the dance is one thing, the kiss another, the follow-up worse.
509 thoughts on “Rebounding”
Doctor_Who
Panel 4: great idea. Evolving into Walky was clearly a mistake, time to start over from scratch.
Go at least as far back as the Cambrian era to be safe, I’m sure Dina has some charts that will help.
True Survivor
Smart. You don’t have to get your girlfriend flowers if they haven’t evolved yet.
Clif
Thank you panal six for providing emphasis.
Yes, I know.
Zaxares
That was one the most fun things to boggle my mind learning about deep history. Another one: Sharks are older than trees! XD
BullCityFats
The Appalachian Mountains are older than bones.
thejeff
And the Scottish Highlands are also the Appalachians.
Clif
Re: Sharks are older than trees – But only by about 90 million years, and that hardly counts.
Decidedly Orthogonal
ehhh. ~2.4% (1/40th) of the history of all life on earth is a pretty solid head start.
Decidedly Orthogonal
*known
someone
David Swimmerton, known as Swimmy.
NGPZ
Sarah was prepared to push past her social anxiety, even risk her future for even a chance at Jacob, but didn’t have it in her to take that opportunity when it was right in front of her.
Where-as no such hoops exist for Lucy. It’s not fair, it was never fair.
All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and Sarah at last is compelled to face with ironically sober senses the reality of her condition, and her relationship with others
True Survivor
Yeah I guess she was on to something the first time around – cynical, result oriented loner with no time for relationships. The perfect strategy for college if you can pull it off without the stress and regrets eating you alive.
NGPZ
That last part is something I ain’t no stranger to, except for me I dropped out because of the 2020 pandemic and wound up focusing on freelance game programming.
Opportunities are ALWAYS being missed because of factors one cannot control, and if I still feel like a loser because I ain’t got no degree or girlfriend, I just tell myself that life is much like arcade fighter games like Street Fighter 2, which were known for downright cheating the player to make them keep pumping in quarters.
That is, we are often made to feel like we’re “losers” and “missing out” because someone long ago decided it should be that way for purely selfish reasons. And all you have to do is take that power back from them, and you will be a winner.
Laura
So true!!!
We don’t give ourselves enough credit for the MOUNTAINS we have climbed!
NGPZ
Especially given how much of that journey we spend trudging up rivers flowing downwards.
*plays “Creeping Shadows” by Shirō Sagisu on hacked muzak*
Laura
We are salmon, swimming and leaping and flopping upstream! Thank you for the theme song!!!
My sister and I were once talking about all the “successful” people who are younger than us. Then we realized what an amazing accomplishment it is just to BE US. Every victory — staying clean and sober, staying stably housed, staying out of prison or jail, staying free from hospitals, maintaining a relationship, getting health care, meeting our daily needs, maintaining a routine… just using the spoons to get UP out of BED EVERY DAY and focus on ALL those projects is a tremendous life accomplishment!
Laura
(I don’t mean any shade to anyone who is NOT doing all those things, of course! Everyone has their own vital goals and circumstances and states of being. I just meant those were the steps that my sister and I, each personally, wanted to celebrate at that time.)
Laura
Sorry. Sorry — that came out all wrong…
D-x *Facepalm*.
I’d edit it if I could. Came off the wrong way. Did not mean to sound smug.
Just that everyone is working on climbing the stairs in front of them. That’s all I meant to say.
Taffy
Your comment didn’t come off remotely smug. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and if somebody has things a little better than someone else, they’re still allowed to be happy about what they’ve managed to accomplish. Anyone who’d hold good fortune and hard work against someone else isn’t worth pleasing, anyway.
Laura
Thank you, Taffy. I appreciate you.
Vanessa
That was lovely. Yes, a good accomplishment and worth appreciating.
Laura
Thank you, Vanessa!
MadScientist520
What language/engine you using?
NGPZ
GameMaker.
Right now I’m helping Bryy make a dinosaur platformer game for his cousins, and even releasing it on Steam.
As much as I know Dina would love this, what I really wanna do when I have the time is make some more DoA fan games ^^
Needfuldoer
And next thing you know you’re closing in on 40, still alone.
Steamweed
And the dating/romance landscape at 40 (not to mention 50, 60, etc) is radically different than anything you’ve experienced before. It doesn’t get easier with age; it goes the opposite way.
Needfuldoer
And you run and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it’s sinking
Racing around, to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older
Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death
– Some guy named Floyd
NGPZ
If there is one thing I have learned the hard way, it’s that framing one’s goals too tightly can make it more difficult to achieve them, as we have also seen with Dorothy’s struggle.
Instead of attempting to answer, “how do I become president”, perhaps a better problem for her to solve would be “how do I help as many people as possible” and “how do I help them”?
As for love life, perhaps instead of asking “how do I find a partner”, perhaps a better question would be “what do I want out of a partner?” and “will I necessarily be able to fulfill those desires and not feel so lonely with the help of but a single person”?
Western culture’s established Romanticist idea that a romantic partner is necessarily the answer to all that can easily do more harm than good, as explored in this 5-minute video by School of Life I think is very much worth a watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltM5qYn25w
Laura
Fascinating! Thank you for that resource!
Amós Batista
I praised Lucy yesterday. Now, it’s time to cry with Sarah.
Cry because I’m her, that tried to get someone so many times and I’m never attractive enough. Or my quirkiness always take my front.
Instead, your brave words give courage to persist.
Cakemage
Yeah, same. Only without the hope. Sometimes you’ve just gotta be realistic about your prospects.
Carl Muckenhoupt
I’m not seeing the “didn’t have it in her to take that opportunity” part. It’s not like she hasn’t tried. She’s been really, really forward with Jacob lately. He simply isn’t interested in what she’s got to offer. That’s not Sarah failing to act when she had a chance, that’s just Sarah never having a chance in the first place.
Bash
Like when they were at the gym, and he wanted to have a conversation with her. And she was just objectifying him. Or when he said “I would be happy to hang out with you if you could be honest about how you feel.” And she told him that she was horny. He wants a relationship that isn’t based around sex, and Sarah might not be the right person for that.
BorkBorkBork
Thank you for being the rational person here.
It’s not that Sarah’s “not attractive enough” or that he “isn’t interested in what she’s got to offer.” It’s that Sarah and Jacob don’t want the same things. He wants a relationship, and she doesn’t. Not yet at least. She’s barely comfortable with the idea of opening up her shell and trying to be friends. If it was Jacob and Sarah kissing right now, you *know* that after the kiss ended, the only “opening up” Sarah would be comfortable with doing would be Jacob’s shirt.
We all know that, right? If one person wants a relationship, and the other person only wants a fuckbuddy but is willing to *endure* the pretense of a relationship to get in their pants, then they shouldn’t be together, right?
Hell – isn’t that basically what Sarah is afraid Joe is doing to Joyce right now, and why she’s so overprotective?
Lucy wants a relationship with someone who will value her, respect her, and when it comes to it, defend her. Jacob can give her that.
Jacob wants a relationship with someone who is genuinely kind and caring, and who is willing to be friends first. Lucy can give him that.
thejeff
I think you’re wrong here. I think Sarah does now want more than just fuckbuddy status, she’s just trapped behind the facade she’s had up so long and terrified of letting herself be vulnerable enough.
I don’t think what’s she’s been struggling with in reaching out to him has just been to get into his pants. It’s just really hard for her.
BorkBorkBork
I both agree and disagree with you.
She doesn’t want a relationship. At best, she wants to want a relationship. Or, she wants to be the kind of person who would want a relationship. But the relationship itself is scary and uncomfortable and would make her very very vulnerable and so every fiber of her being is pulling her back.
You can say that’s “wanting it but terrified” and I can say that’s “not wanting it, but wanting to want it,” but either way we’re describing the same thing.
I mean, she literally fought with Jacob about how angry she was that he just kept giving her so many chances and being so nice, when all she just wanted to do was bone. To her, THAT was opening up. She still believes that the kind words she said about him are BS. She still says she hates people. She didn’t show a twinge of discomfort when acknowledging that she had no idea which phone number was Lucy’s. There’s an epiphany here that hasn’t happened yet: she’s taking actions because she WANTS to evolve, but she hasn’t yet learned what she needs to in order to really change.
The only ‘relationship’ that I truly think she’d willingly endure at this point was one basically like what Joyce thrust upon her – in which the other person just chose to love her, unconditionally, with infinite patience, letting all her insults and arguments and abrasiveness go, until eventually she was worn down enough to stop fighting and just accept it. And that’s *horrifying*.
I hope that this will be something that pushes her in the right direction. She can’t really be a good partner if she never really learns to be a good friend, and she can’t learn to be a good friend until she learns to love herself. Because she *hates* herself, and what she’s had to do and who she’s had to become to get where she is in the world.
Sorry. Got a bit psychoanalysis-y. Lotta that’s headcanon, I know. But I don’t think I’m off base.
Insanenoodlyguy
She was forward in the way that he told her he didn’t want. And he told her exactly what he was looking for, and gave her several opportunities.
MadScientist520
I’m hoping Lucy is genuinely into Jacob. My Raidah scheming senses are tingling.
PedanticJerkass
I don’t think that Lucy is currently Raidah-ing, but I do think that Raidah herself will absolutely stick her unwanted nose into this once she finds out about it.
Jamie
I think this is genuine. Like, it’s clearly a rebound, but I don’t think Lucy actually bears any malice for Sarah.
thejeff
To be fair, though we haven’t focused on them as much, the hoops exist for Lucy too. She spent months interested in Walky, without being able to make a move on him to get things started. Here, she’s making her move boldly and blatantly.
Definitely a big change.
Sarah Lea
Well, here’s my prediction:
I think this is a mutual plot/ruse by Jacob and Lucy to try to spur Sarah into being honest about her feelings.
I’m not saying it’d be a *smart* ploy.
Rectilinear Propagation
Lucy’s into sitcom schemes, but I can’t see Jacob going along with it after what happened with Joyce. He also just doesn’t seem the type. And I don’t think Lucy would do it without cooperation with Jacob.
shadowcell
FATALITY MOVE
Schpoonman
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
Thag Simmons
Walky the sea is very far away. Just settle for Lake Michigan.
Vukodlak
Lake Michigan is pretty big, if it was salt water It’d probably qualify as a sea.
Amara
The Great Lakes do qualify as inland seas!
Mark
Now you’ve got me wondering what are the official minimum specificications for “sea” and who makes them official.
Rectilinear Propagation
Most seas have are partially enclosed by land and are located where land meets the sea. The Sargasso Sea is the exception; it’s defined only by currents. I think it’s currently the International Hydrographic Organization (IHO) that makes those decisions.
Caninse
It would be only fitting for him to do so while listening to “Drown Me in Lake Michigan” by stop.drop.rewind.
Vulcanodon
Upside: long before he reaches the sea, he’ll be distracted by the need for chicken nuggets and forget all about it.
Yumi
That was fast. Not a negative, just didn’t expect to get here in the next strip from yesterday.
Doctor_Who
Second speedrunning record broken today.
Jenniffniff
Ugh, I’m heartbroken for Sarah.
Schpoonman
Me too, a little, honestly.
staszu13
I also. But don’t blame Jacob – or Lucy for that matter – for Sarah not closing the deal.
Maybe crisis not averted after all
Nono
I don’t blame Lucy for getting with Jacob, just found it a bit funny that not even a few hours ago she was making mopey faces about him going back to Dorothy after just two days.
staszu13
Considering Lucy really traded up (football star, teatotaller, nice guy, built) I would say Lucy is at the “who’s Walky” stage now
Laura
Not to mention devout!
DashWallkick
She’s Joyce without the baggage. Not a shocker he went for her.
Wereg
I think current Lucy is at least partially acting in this way because of earlier.
Clif
Earlier.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-13/04-but-dont-give-yourself-away/treat/
Laura
Yup. Vengeance is a dish best served with a side of gagh.
Clif
Now say it three times fast in the original Klingon.
Laura
bortaS qagh jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’.
bortaS qagh jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’.
bortaS qagh jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’.
clif
<3
Wereg
Oh man I completely forgot about THIS instance of “earlier”
Blume
Feeling heartbroken too but agree with you 🙁
Lumino
Honestly, I’m pissed off at Jacob.
He and Sarah JUST had a heart to heart, where they were open about their feelings, or at least Sarah was. Jacob danced around the issue, knowing that Sarah was romantically interested in him.
And then he kisses a random stranger right in front of her not three hours later? That’s MESSED UP, dude.
If you aren’t interested in Sarah, you owe it to her to communicate that clearly and not keep stringing her along while you play the field. Both Sarah and Lucy are innocent here, Jacob’s the one at fault.
Mr.Morningstar
I could forgive Jacob if he was drunk, but he mad a point of saying to Sarah he was not drinking
Kelibath
It’s even worse than that; Lucy is not just clearly on the rebound, but she’s also had at least three plastic cups of booze by now – he’s not drunk, and she’s *acting* sober and in charge, but he doesn’t know for sure how in control she really is. I get the same way after a couple of drinks and while I’m definitely barely into tipsy I would still side-eye a totally sober friend being willing to jump my bones in that state. Even if I wasn’t asexual! Maybe it’s the age gap – university was over ten years ago for me now – but the dance is one thing, the kiss another, the follow-up worse.
Bash