224

Receipts
Posted on July 30, 2018 by David M Willis

224 thoughts on “Receipts”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Mike’s gonna Mike

    [next comic, Mike’s Origin Story: in the resulting eye-stabbing battle, Blaine gives Mike a busted lip such that even when Mike IS smiling it’s like Grumpy Cat]

  2. King Daniel

    Yeah, I don’t think he’s gonna take your advice

    1. Deanatay

      “Be… NICE? To my KIDS?

      Why, is someone recording this?”

    2. Hinoron

      That’s not advice; that is blackmail.
      Those receipts are evidence of Blaine’s wrongdoings. (The exact extent of which I’m less certain of.)

  3. adjudicus

    Oh, shit.

    1. adjudicus

      This is totally gonna end in a way that won’t result in Mike getting his ass handed to him!

      1. Doctor_Who

        It’ll all end in tears. And sadly, they won’t be Blaine’s.

        1. Warcodered

          Yeah they’ll be mine.

        2. LooingIn

          Tears of joy right? Since Blaine is getting his ass handed to him in the divorce from Stacy now that she has solid evidence of his infidelities?

  4. ShinyNeen

    O-OKAY, MIKE, SURE. GO FOR THE NUCLEAR OPTION, WHY NOT!?

    (Aha, 13 years old, good to know)

    1. Daisy

      The age of arrogance ^^’

      1. woobie

        I knew everything at 13; I guess Mike did too!

        1. Annonymouse

          Then took an arrow to the knee.
          The whole world changed.
          Times are tough.
          Anybody want a peanut?

  5. BBCC

    Well this can’t possibly backfire.

    1. foamy

      Nope, everything’s going to go completely swimmingly.

      1. Yumi

        Nothing bad has ever happened in this, the most drama-free webcomic.

      2. Dave

        Well…Mike’s still alive…

      3. Deanatay

        Sorry, can’t swim when you’re wearing concrete shoes.

  6. butts

    Y’know what I take it back. Kid mike ISN’T actually secretly a massive douche.

    …still want to know what happened to him between then and now.

    1. Regalli

      Calling it now? Blaine. Blaine happened. Blaine and maybe a reprise of the teacher incident, where after Mike’s attempt to help ends up hurting him, Amber’s nowhere to be found. But since Amber wouldn’t be such a mess of inadequate coping mechanisms without Blaine, I can still attribute that to Blaine as well.

      1. timemonkey

        I think now Mike understands why Amber bails.

        1. Regalli

          I hope in the modern day, but in the past I can’t be sure. Could be Mike internalizes it the same way Amber did – I can’t fix it so why try – with maybe some ‘I want the power to hurt people because I’m tired of them hurting me,’ but for all we know there’s a fight or something coming up where Amber spells it out for him.

        2. timemonkey

          If Mike;s observant enough to notice both his teacher’s bias towards her and recognise what kind fo person Blaine is, as well as what to look for to get information then he’s aware enough to understand the effects of father’s abuse.

      2. Oberon

        Probably a good call. There’s nothing like repeatedly seeing what a shitty place the world is to turn a young man all cynical, after all.

  7. Doctor_Who

    Mike Begins. Followed by the acclaimed The Dark Mike.

    1. Tacos

      The Dark Mike Rises on the other hand sounds like Mike and Ethan’s Slipshine.

      1. rachel

        oh my god

      2. Doctor_Who

        Count on Ethan to make his pornography debut into a Batman reference.

        1. LooingIn

          it was inevitable, it’s hard to work Transformers into sexual references without it getting a bit too weird or nonsensical…

      3. Tawdry Quirks

        I hope Willis is jotting this title down right now on his to-do list for Slipshines.

  8. Vee

    baby mike blackmailing amber’s dad………………….. thanks willis for my life (altho this can’t possibly end well)

  9. Nono

    Huh, so they’re thirteen. That makes Mike’s comment about the star quarterback a bit back then a bit… weirder.

    1. Yumi

      It is weird, but we had mostly figured middle school anyway. (Though the strip were these two met was misleading.) Could be a 7-12 school, but then I’d imagine the quarterback to be decently older and it’d be weird in that way. I guess the least weird way is that they go to a junior high school that places a lot of emphasis on sports.

      1. not someone else

        As someone from SEC Territory I noticed nothing weird about a major middle school football team and a social hierarchy that includes it. It’s entirely possible the Midwest/Indiana specifically that’s the same way.

        1. Yumi

          I’m from the Midwest and know lots of other people from other parts of the Midwest. Is it weird for a middle school to have a football team? Not at all. Is it weird for it to connect to social status? At my school and the schools I’m familiar with, yeah. “Who’s on the football team” in middle school mattered about as much as who was in any other competitive school club, including Quiz Bowl. I definitely believe it can vary by school, it’s just not something I’ve actually seen.

        2. Oberon

          I’m in the ACC area, but my middle school had only 7th and 8th grades in it and no sports teams at all. The better players on my High School team were certainly well known to the entire school, but not any of the other sports even though we had baseball, tennis, track and field, soccer, lacrosse, and probably a few I’m just not remembering. If I hadn’t been on the tennis team I couldn’t have named a single other player on it, lol, and no one knew me as a tennis player that’s for sure.

      2. Khyrin

        It’s also possible that Mike started schooling at 5, which would make him a freshman in high school.

        Source: I was born in july and was basically a year younger than everyone else in every class.

        1. Yumi

          They’re all 13 and under here, as the robbery has not yet happened. But I’m also curious about what you mean by “started schooling.” Do you mean starting first grade at age 5? Or starting kindergarten? Kindergarten at age five is normal, first grade at age five would be unusual if one would be five for the whole year. What state are you from?
          I was thirteen at the start of my freshman year, but I turned fourteen early on.

        2. Conuly

          In NYC, the cut-off for kindy is “Five by December 31 of that school year”, and accordingly, the cut-off for first grade is “Six by December 31 of that school year”. You wouldn’t be five for the whole year, no, but you might be five for 40% of it.

    2. BigDogLittleCat

      I wouldn’t put much weight on the “star quarterback” comment. Ethan said that, and he later admitted he didn’t even know if that were true.
      But when Mike meets Blaine, the school sign says “High School,” so who knows what’s up.

      1. Yumi

        It was clarified (to me, who thought the same thing as you) that the sign actually says “Junior High School,” but “Junior” is cut off by the framing. BBCC said this, referencing Patreon.

    3. Eaglestrike

      Not really. In my middle school (east coast state) we had morning announcements that would often update us on the football teams record Monday mornings. The team would be comprised mostly of kids at the school, and I even played some pick up football with some of them in the offseason. The team fed into the high school team afterwards.

      The only thing that makes little sense is “Star” but maybe that’s because the QB wasn’t at my middle school so there wasn’t as much talk about him on our announcements/culture.

      1. Yumi

        I think that’s the part that’s being commented on as surprising– at least, for me that is. I’ve worked in lots of middle school, and talking about the school teams in the capacity you mentioned is normal, but even when I’ve been in districts where sports is a big thing at the high school level, I haven’t seen it carry much weight in middle schools.

    4. Makkabee

      In my school system we had three levels of football — varsity, junior varsity, and a third level that everybody seemed to have a different name for but which was for 7th and 8th graders. So this could be 7th grade Mike dating a popular 8th grade guy.

    5. Emily

      Honestly, I have no idea how accurate any portrayal of American school’s sports culture and hierarchy is because it all seems bizarre and ridiculous from a non-American perspective. I don’t think cheerleaders were even a thing at my school.

    6. NotPiffany

      I was a high school freshman (9th grade) when I hit 13. They don’t have to be in middle school.

      1. BBCC

        No, they are. A) Patreon canon is they’re at Junior High and B) The robbery hasn’t happened yet, because that seems to have happened in either seventh grade or very very very early eighth grade (because Sal was sent away for five years).

  10. StClair

    “It’s possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

    Drop. Your. Sword.”

    1. TheHorseCouncil

      If mike hadnt grown up to be mike he mightve made a good westley. Such a good line to reference in this scenario.

      1. timemonkey

        Westley was a pirate and murderer, he was just nice to the main cast of the movie.

        1. cbwroses

          Every member of the main cast except Buttercup was a murderer or would be murderer.

        2. Oberon

          Buttercup could easily have been convicted of attempted murder or at least aggravated assault in today’s courts. She certainly threw Westley down a hill steep enough to have seriously injured or killed him. On purpose.

        3. cbwroses

          I think that would count as self defense, but fine. Every member of the main cast was a murderer or would be murderer.

        4. Steve

          I don’t know if Fezzik has ever actually killed anyone, or wanted to.

        5. StClair

          I guess it depends on whether he’s ever actually ripped someone’s arms off, on orders or otherwise.

        6. timemonkey

          Yup, that’s what makes it a fun story, it’s not heroes vs villains, it’s a horrible person being thwarted by people who are moderately less horrible but much more sympathetic.

        7. Agemegos

          In the book, at least, the Dread Pirate Roberts was too dread to have to kill anyone.

        8. woobie

          Pirate, sure. Murderer? IF the victims were bluffed to surrender, who did he murder?

  11. newllend(henryvolt)

    Yeah now you see that’s your first mistake Blaine your not supposed to like him, tread lightly.

  12. Yumi

    If I were Mike, I’d have a hard time not puking in panel 3.

    I don’t think this goes well for Mike, but he’s a kid and I like that he’s trying.

    1. Deanatay

      ‘I like you, Mike. You’re a funny guy. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”

  13. Tan

    As Blaine swiftly goes from liking Mike to severely disliking Mike, the comments section swiftly goes from severely disliking Mike to liking Mike (or at least the Mike of this particular moment)

    1. Needfuldoer

      Compared to Blaine, Mike is as nice as his parents are.

    2. Makkabee

      Everybody gets temporary good guy status while they’re trying to kill Hitler — even Stalin.

      1. woobie

        Not Stalin.

        1. thejeff

          The Allies thought so durring WWII.

        2. Conuly

          The enemy of my enemy and all that.

  14. Bathymetheus

    We know this didn’t work. And we know Mike’s personality changed for the worse. These two things may be connected.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Hmm everything changed for Amber when she had that run in with Sal, I wonder what her interactions were like with Ethan after that.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Well…

      2. BBCC

        According to Ethan, he wanted to take care of her forever and keep her from falling apart and it stayed like that until he came out after their senior prom (so like 3 months-ish before the story began).

    2. timemonkey

      Well, it might not of worked in the direct way, indirectly it could have made Blaine so mad he acted even worse to Amber and her mother finally pushing both to the breaking point where things snapped.

    3. Jason

      We… don’t know that. It might genuinely have worked, but something like this- and with someone like Blaine- if it “worked” it would have been pretty surface level and very temporary, much more for show for all of an hour until either Blaine slips out or Mike goes home.
      Long term, it could never work. But Mike is genuinely lovely here for trying.

  15. Passchendaele

    I *should* be worried, but last panel Mike’s expression is perfect

  16. Stephen Bierce

    Money$ Too Tight to Mention
    I can’t get an extension
    Money$ Too Tight To Mention
    I don’t qualify for my pension…

  17. tim gueguen

    It’s surprising that half a decade later Blaine isn’t in jail as a result of an “anonymous source” revealing his crimes to the relevant agencies.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Mike forgot to take pictures because he didn’t have a camera phone, just a flip phone for making emergency calls.

  18. brasca1

    I really don’t think Mike suffered any kind of trauma or if he did it was before moving from New York. If Blaine had assaulted Mike he’d be in jail. I think at some point he really couldn’t play the cute an innocent boy anymore and probably didn’t want to anyway.

    1. Mollyscribbles

      Psychological trauma is technically possible. I have no doubt Blaine knows how to leave scars without a physical mark.

  19. adjudicus

    Huh. In the first panel, Blaine looks almost normal

    1. ShinyNeen

      He demonstrates that horrifying ability every now and then, yeah. Sadly it’s a very, er, humanizing trait of his- even Blaine’s level of terrible-ness won’t be immediately evident to a casual observer.

      1. Snippy Harold

        Like most abusers, Blaine is an expert at looking fine in front of other people so that no one will suspect that he’s anything else.

      2. Conuly

        He told one of his child’s classmates that she looks like a potato. That’s a whopping red flag, even on a first meeting.

        1. ShinyNeen

          It… it really should be.

          I can only speak for my personal experience (so, primarily watching customers in the U.S. department store that I work at), but I’ve seen a good handful of shitty family dynamics that a lot of people seem to just accept as normal/acceptable family behaviors.

        2. thejeff

          It is, but he said it to a kid, which is generally pretty safe. Kids may notice the red flags, but it’s usually hard for them to convince adults they’re serious unless they’re really egregious.

          Plus he got unlucky in that it was Mike, who isn’t quite the normal junior high kid and actually gets along with Amber. I suspect, given normal junior high dynamics and how much of an outcast Amber seems to be, most kids would have laughed and used it against her.

        3. woobie

          Its red flag, but this is a webcomic. My stepfather pulled off normal to everyone, EVEN MY MOTHER, until he lost his temper in front of others.

          His facade never slipped. Relatives thought we were lying because we wanted our dad.

          I can laugh about it now. My best friend did then :\

    2. tim gueguen

      There are no women around for him to treat with contempt.

  20. Gojira

    That’s the Mike we’ve come to recognize. None of that smiling BS!

  21. Cronomatt

    I thought David Willis’ Mike character was supposed to be this ultra confrontational lazy-savant, laser focused on everyone’s faults until they feel ashamed enough about them to better themselves. Even as a child.

    This idea is asinine. There is literally a zero percent chance this turns out well for Amber or anyone even if we didn’t already know it doesn’t.

    1. BBCC

      The idea Mike’s even remotely trying to help and is some sort of savant has always been controversial at best.

      Even if he is now (which I personally doubt), he’s a kid here. He probably hasn’t developed that sense yet.

      1. Regalli

        Walkyverse Mike was a force of nature at least as much as he was ever a character. It was very possibly abductee-based. DOA Mike is a human being, and what we’ve seen of that human being largely sucks, at least in the present.

        I am starting to think more and more (especially after this strip) that there WERE good intentions once upon a time. But note Mike is also noticeably less dickish here (blowing pretty new acquaintances off to hang out with someone else is worlds away from lying to someone to make them cry and take video of it, which is recent and UNAMBIGUOUSLY WTF TERRIBLE), and that his attempts at helping Amber are much more straightforwardly helping. And so far? They aren’t working out for Mike.

        I think the shift from help to not help to active assholery was gradual and not all prompted by one thing, but trying to help Amber with her problems and it failing on every level probably contributed to it.

        1. Cronomatt

          Betrayal isn’t exactly a way lighter a moral crime to manipulating someones feelings.

          It’s already been made clear younger Mike is already quite capable of making plans and psychological analysis and manipulation, but his plans don’t have ANY planned effect to them. He’s already been quite open that he already likes gathering information about people and he’s already way more the superhuman/force of nature rather then a reactive actual person.

          But back to the point, his actions have no benefit unless it’s testing, which is asinine for helping his acquaintances. Everyone knows the cause of confronting the teacher or Blaine, but no potential positive effect exists from his actions, only negative.

          But this boils down to probems writing people as forces of nature instead of even pretending they are actually characters. I think the only time any Mike (sober, drunk or child) was ever written as a person was when Shortpacked drunk him admitted that he messed up with Jacob and sent him on a path of self destruction.

        2. Regalli

          Betrayal’s stretching it. They ask if he’ll come hang out for Amber’s birthday. Mike says he’s busy. Ethan expresses disappointment, Amber does not, Mike points out she does not. There is the dig at them not having other friends, but neither of them seems that shaken. Later Mike’s seen hanging out in the halls with his other friend. And Mike has known these two for less than a full school year and is clearly still in the more casual school friend stage.

          And I am really unconvinced that Mike is trying some kind of stealth helping people thing at any point in his trajectory this universe. How the fuck is telling Ethan ‘sure you’ll be miserable in the closet, but you’re still better off there’ helpful? What helped Ethan ultimately start accepting himself was the get-together in Walking With Dina and Danny. How about telling Amber she’s like her father? That was one of the catalyst points for Amber and AG getting dramatically worse in a very short period. Any of his attempted sabotages of Walky and Dorothy’s relationship? All of them failed spectacularly and he stopped trying, and their breakup was for an entirely different reason. If Mike really is trying to help people in the most assholeish way possible in the current strips, he’s actually gotten WORSE in his attempts because now he’s become a direct cause of harm instead.

          And hehad some pretty human moments with Amber in the later parts of their arc – the strip with him right after Donna is born, for instance.

        3. Regalli

          And if he was doing Dorky sabotage because he wanted them together, he sure didn’t act like that. The Pajama Jeans incident was even the opposite – a seemingly nice action designed to get them broken up because of Dorothy’s standards so Mike wouldn’t have to deal with them being couple-y around him anymore. Which is how we know the Ethan hookups are similarly malicious, combined with actual on-panel instances of him plotting this.

          Mike’s an Internet Edgelord and a manipulator. Good timing sometimes, more dedication than some, but he mostly targets people who are very set in routines to begin with and the level of obsession seems pretty believable to me given the effort you see with, say, the entire concept of doxxing.

        4. Cronomatt

          I disagree. His actions have thus far been fully within the realms of self-actualization, being tougher skinned, and dealing with issues now instead of issues growing and growing and blowing up the future. The stuff you list as Mike being the initial cause is just nonsense and you know it, they were aware of the issues long before he brought up. The only real ossue is that the ideas from Willis regarding Mike are poorly convcieved. But do you actually think Mike started the idea that Amber was saddled with her father’s habits? Seriously? She knew that already years ago. The only thing that that conversation led to was Amber being more aware of Dannys place in the relationship while she is still a wreck.

          And NO. His level of obsession collecting people’s weaknesses are not even REMOTELY believablely human to anyone other then yourself by aNY standard. Seriously, who are you even trying to kid?

        5. adjudicus

          Really. Mike is NOT a helpful character. For every nudge from him that helps his “friends” realize truths about themselves, there’s an action that is completely unhelpful, with him being an ass for no reason. How is manipulating Walky to believe that his favourite comic was cancelled simply to get him to cry and then RECORD it helping him self-actualize? How is rubbing salt into the wounds of Dorothy and Walky helping them to be “tougher skinned”? How is framing Dorothy as a passive-aggressive nag to sabotage her and Walky’s relationship helping them? How is seducing Ethan to turn Danny into a “jealous, whimpering mess” helpful in any way?

          Also, Mike didn’t start the idea that Amber had her father’s habits. He implied that Amber was destined to follow her father’s footsteps into becoming an abuser. The only thing Amber got from her dad was her rage and a buttload of psychological issues. Outbursts of rage and snapping at people do not an abuser make. Even when her yelling at Danny got into the abusive zone, she recognized it, was horrified, and immediately stopped. How is telling someone that they’re going to become their abuser, even when it’s clear they’ll not, helpful in any conceivable way?

          Even if you believe Mike is helpful to the cast, how does that justify his methods? He always leans towards the most harsh and cruel way of getting his point across, in ways that might cause the receiving end to go back further into denial. I think that undermines his intention, no matter how good they are.

        6. King Daniel

          The idea that Amber, or any abuse victim, is “doomed to her father’s (or insert abusive parent-figure here) habits” is, flatly, bullshit – and to say this to her face is to make the situation much worse than it already is.

        7. Cyfarfod

          Making out with Ethan-

          Ethan has literally, AFAIK, ever had any sort of romantic contact with a person he is actually attracted too. Mike blatantly, outright told him that he is not attached to Ethan and that he wishes Ethan would find someone else to make out with because it’s unhealthy. Still, Ethan now actually knows how to kiss someone.

          Making Walky cry-

          Dude NEEDED to bawl his eyes out and I don’t think he has the kind of self-image that would let him to it without someone pretty much pushing him into it.

          Telling Amber she’s just like her dad-

          Amber is a self-destructive crazy person. The fact that this is a comic and she hasn’t killed someone else or herself yet doesn’t change that. She needed to hear it.

          I’m not saying it’s IMPOSSIBLE that Mike is just a douchebag, but I do still feel that all of the worst things he’s done can still be presented as having good consequences.

          I also strongly support Mike as a force of nature rather than a person.

        8. adjudicus

          Nope. He explicitly says in this strip that he plans to seduce Ethan to turn Danny into a whimpering mess. The makeout is part of that.

          In making Walky cry, it isn’t stated when this happened, so Mike is essentially doing it for shits and giggles. And anyway, making him cry was NOT what Mike really wanted, he wanted to RECORD him crying.

          Saying Amber is destined to become her dad is really, really harmful, and also bullshit. Amber has demonstrated she is very much not her father, and then Mike tells her she basically is. On what earth is it ok to tell an abuse victim they’re destined to become their abuser?

        9. BBCC

          That just reminded me how absolutely precious Donna is. Dang, she’s gotta be like 6 years old over in the Walkyverse.

        10. DinaWho

          It may be just my wonky people-reading skills, but I actually interpreted the convo with Ethan about the closet completely differently? To me it more seemed like he was being sarcastic about it being a good idea and was kind of ‘wtf?’ surprised when Ethan decided to go back in the closet.

          This isn’t the case for all Mike stuff though.

        11. timemonkey

          Yeah, it seemed pretty obvious Mike was being sarcastic and his reaction when Ethan actually goes for it backs that up.

      2. thejeff

        Well, he’s definitely got some level of the “observing everyone’s weakness” thing already. He commented on it in one of the first flashback strips.
        It’s less clear so far how he’s using it, but it doesn’t seem as malicious as it does in the current time.

    2. Cronomatt

      It occured to me that Ive compared David Willis to the tired tropes of Stephen King many times, hence, if one just replaces Maine with Indiana and replace Writer to Transformers Nerd, as one can basically predict how every plotline goes down as quickly as its introduced. An altered Stephen King drinking game would kill you instantly.

      It just occurred to me where Mike fits in the drinking game…he’s the unexplained psychic child. While he doesn’t actually have psychic powers, he fits the role too perfectly. He can find the weaknesses of all the characters, none of his peers ever say anything about him being particularly gifted despite having advanced intelligence, and having an unexplained psychic/savant allows to create emotional resolutions that the writer can’t do with emotionally functional people. Even without SEMME superpowers, Mike is the unexplained Superhuman, who has no noted traits to hint why he has these skills besides the ability to do so.

      1. BBCC

        Mike has never demonstrated super advanced intelligence. Half the time he harasses people it’s going after the low hanging fruit, and there’s plenty of emotional resolution outside of him in different plot lines.

        1. Cronomatt

          There is nothing human or normal about Mike in any sense. He is simply a writing tool. He doesn’t need to be the cause of all emotional resolutions because if he was the DIRECT source for all of them, it wouldn’t be real. Whether it’s superhuman intelligence or superhuman focus, I honestly don’t care how you phrase his obsession with finding everyone’s weaknesses with entire notebooks of notes, recordings, fake wikis and all sorts of emotional responce needed to get people to where they need to be at a certain point in time.

        2. BBCC

          I don’t agree. Nothing Mike’s puzzled out or done really seems so impossible to me, especially since, again, half the time he just reaches for the low hanging fruit. And it’s not always helpful – what, exactly, did making Walky cry thinking Dexter and Monkey Master was cancelled help?

        3. Sam

          I agree with you BBCC. I almost commented earlier as well that I have no idea where they got the idea that Mike was lazy or a savant. He is not superhuman, he is just a particularly meticulous edgelord and an abusive friend. We’ve even seen him ask if people are afraid of spiders and admitting that his notes have gaps to Dorothy. On a few occasions it could be argued as an attempt to help… but usually he sends them straight down a path through denial brambles and further pain, not to immediate improvement.

    3. Emily

      Mike is a bully. That’s it. He’s not some asshole sage who is secretly trying to help people and even if he were he’d still be a shit human being because there’s no legitimate reason to couch advice in abuse and harassment. He’s just a regular asshole who enjoys making the people around him suffer for his own amusement.

      1. Clif

        Yes, you are completely correct. Mike is a bully who is attempting to make Blaine suffer entirely for his own amusement.

        1. thejeff

          As far as I’m concerned the jury’s still out on flashback Mike. This could be development that leads to his current full edgelord status.

          For modern Mike, Emily’s spot on.

  22. Kyrik Michalowski

    Mike you’ve got an impressive heart and courage greater than your foresight underneath that asshole exterior but, I have to wonder where this is going to go downhill. This is mostly par for the course for what was expected out of Mike’s backstory, there has to be something that sticks out as the obvious red warning lights, right?

    1. Pablo360

      I’m guessing it’s this right here, where he picks a fight that we all know is out of his league. I’m assuming the fallout of this is what breaks him and fills him with the selfish, apathetic cynicism that will come to define him.

  23. Matthew S King

    I get the feeling that Mike is always been this way. It’s just that he doesn’t hide his asshole nature when he got older. There was no underlying incident that changes his outlook.

  24. Derek

    so how is Mike alive in the present?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Maybe he has just enough black mail on him

    2. Mollyscribbles

      Blaine realized killing him would be too easy to trace back to him. I mean, 13, you can’t drive, so he probably had someone drop him off at the house, Amber and Ethan would expect him to at least say something before leaving . . . his dissapearance would be noticed quickly.

  25. Nono

    Man, so the convenience store stabbing, Blaine and Stacy separating, Ethan coming out, and Amber creating Amazi-Girl all happened in the timespan of about 4-5 years.

    That’s a LOT of stress for one person to take.

    1. BBCC

      The stabbing and divorce were both at 13. So, yeah, vicious year.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, that really splits out into 2 sections. The stabbing and divorce at 13.

        Ethan coming out and all the real time stuff in the last 6 months or so.

        It’s not quite clear when Amazi-Girl was created. I don’t think she saw much exposure before college – though Ethan knew of her. The roots go back to Blaine and the robbery of course.

        1. BBCC

          Ethan coming out is probably closer to 3 or 4 months. He did so to Amber immediately after their senior prom, when they were going to have sex. He stopped them because he knew he couldn’t make Amber happy the way she wanted. After that he came out more broadly. Senior prom is usually early May-ish and it’s mid-October. The strip began in late August, so around three months before the strip starts, 4 and a half months now.

    2. ShinyNeen

      Heck, widen the view by another year (so 6 years, specifically) and you can include everything that’s happened in the comic so far and, given the comic’s pacing, plenty more storylines worth of stress yet to come.

    3. TheHorseCouncil

      I have someone close in my life who had a lot of traumatic experiences happen to them in their junior high years. And while things are better now they are still dealing with the way those events molded who they are now.

      Its is a lot for one person and sometimes life feels like it needs to kick someone hard for a certain period of time and let a lot of awful rain down all at once. Idk it feels familiar to see so much trauma in Amber’s life. Like not similar but just the quantity in that short length of time.

      1. Yumi

        Middle school sucks. Like, my middle school years weren’t even particularly traumatic, and they were still traumatic. The last few months of eighth grade in particular were a suck-fest.

      2. ShinyNeen

        Life really doesn’t have any sense of pacing at all, does it?

  26. Regalli

    Mike. Mike. You are so far out of your league here right now.

    Time to comfort myself with the funeral strips again, I guess!

    1. stoodmuffin

      You are right on the first part, but you can’t be on the second, right? He makes it to College!

      …

      I really hope you aren’t right on the second one in any capacity.

      1. Regalli

        Oh, no, I meant BLAINE’S funeral strips over in Shortpacked!, where he died a couple years before the strip ended. It was great. Mike wore a party hat, and Amber got to tell his corpse how much he sucked and had failed say destroying her.

        1. King Daniel

          Speaking of which, anyone know where that collage someone assembled by combining Dumbing of Age flashbacks with the Shortpacked! funereal strips went off to?

        2. Regalli

          Wasn’t in the comments on Blaine’s last tag. Maybe Tumblr? I say, no longer actually using Tumblr.

      2. Sol Karas

        They probably mean Blaine’s funeral in Shortpacked!

  27. stoodmuffin

    Holy shit Mike, well played.

    But you’re right. you’re only 13.

    I’m worried for you.

  28. Platypus King

    *close-up on Mike’s eyes, framed by black letterbox*
    *close-up on O’Malley’s eyes, framed by black letterbox*
    *tense musical sting*

    “FIGHT!!”

    1. cbwroses

      Suddenly I’m getting Frieza saga flashbacks.

      1. Schpoonman

        Blaine wishes he were a hundredth as terrifying as Freeza.

  29. Tacos

    Repeatedly stab someone in the eye? Well Blaine’s there. He could be the volunteer.

    1. Reltzik

      I vote younger-Dagon.

  30. ARoseJess

    When I was a kid, I was always into situations with adults like this (I’m quiet and love to people watch)… it rarely turned out well…especially, if I guessed the situation correctly.(but I would have been berated by my parents for going through ANY adult’s stuff).

  31. Solenoid

    holy fucking shit. kid-mike doesn’t play the long game. kid-mike goes for the jugular.

  32. Larkle

    Mike really takes a lot of risks in life, doesn’t he?

    1. Fart Captor

      He did before he discovered punching down instead of up at least

  33. abysswatcher1993

    Mike may hate nerd stuff, but he hates more people that are assholier than him. Just like Godzilla is the king of monsters and will defend his turf, Mike is the king of jerks and will defend his friends.

    1. Keulen

      I don’t think Mike has gone full asshole yet at this point in the flashbacks. Though I’m betting this encounter with Blaine here contributes to it considerably.

  34. Mollyscribbles

    Weird, I thought forensic accounting was a nerd thing. Transformers is more of a geek thing.

    1. mrnoidea

      So what’s a dork thing?

      1. Reltzik

        Puns.

        1. King Daniel

          Does that mean that you hold in your hand a way to unlock a secret passage to the Pun Room from which all puns are generated?

          A door-key?

  35. BigDogLittleCat

    13 year old Mike is awesome.

  36. Keulen

    This is not going to end well for Mike is it?

  37. TrueVCU

    Mike: Lawful Neutral

    1. Reltzik

      13-year-old Mike, maybe. Present-day Mike is more Neutral Evil.

      1. sdrainbow

        Does anyone else get confused by the midpoint of both axes being called “neutral”? I get it, certainly, but I wish one of them was a different word.

    2. Yossarianduck

      Honestly I see Mike as Chaotic Good, with a heavy emphasis on the chaos. Most of his actions up to this point have been about unsettling characters who’ve accepted a certain status quo. Sure, that status quo may exist as a protective measure, and he may even cause hurt in the process, but I suspect for the most part he does genuinely care about the welfare of people around him.

      His “Help” sure ain’t pretty, though.

      1. King Daniel

        Ah yes, concocting an elaborate scheme to trick Walky into thinking Dexter and Monkey Master was cancelled until he started crying in his sleep (and then recording it and showing it to Walky’s fellow classmates), or telling Walky that Billie was eaten by a bear, or buying Walky pajama jeans so Dorothy would break up with him, or insulting Walky in class (a class which Mike himself wasn’t even supposed to be in!), were all just for Walky’s own welfare. Gotcha. /s

    3. de Combys

      How is Mike Lawful in any way, shape or form? He’s clearly Chaotic. And probably Chaotic Neutral, imo. He seems to be pretty distressed when the balance between Good and Evil is off to either side.

  38. JessWitt

    Blaine and Mike have yet to meet again in the present on campus. Is a revisit imminent?

    1. King Daniel

      We do know that Blaine was having Faz gather dirt on Amber for him “yesterday” (in-universe present time, that is).

  39. Mr. Random

    I’m sorry Mike, but you’re letting on to the fact that you care about someone who only cares about himself. I have no doubt that he may cave for now, but blackmail is a stopgap unless you can get two solid pieces that’ll affect different aspects of their life.

    And if he doesn’t cave?
    He knows you’re a problem and he has control over someone you give a shit about…

  40. Fire_daws

    Elsewhere in the Dumbiverse Sal is planning to hold up a convenience store…

    1. Needfuldoer

      “Planning”? If she was planning, she’d know that a clerk behind bulletproof glass won’t be scared of a knife. I bet she was planning to do something, but specifically robbing a convenience store was spur of the moment once she got the knife.

      1. BBCC

        That whole situation reeked of spur of the moment (or very recent) desperation. I’m guessing something drastic, neglect wise, happened in the Walkerton house before that.

        1. Yumi

          This would be pretty exaggerated, but my first thought was them forgetting Sal’s birthday.
          You know, while remembering Walky’s.

        2. BBCC

          Maybe not her birthday but it’s definitely possible they forgot about her or left her out of something important.

        3. Ryek Hvek

          maybe the knife was her birthday present, in contrast to Walky’s receiving something far more opulent

        4. BBCC

          I can’t imagine Linda or Charles giving their daughter a knife. It goes against their image of perfect, achieving upper middle class family-ness. And I doubt Marcie’d have the money.

        5. Needfuldoer

          Ooh, yeah. Unless they were born on both sides of midnight, that one would sting…

        6. Reltzik

          My theory is still that she needed the money to help out Marcie in some way or another.

        7. thejeff

          It makes sense in a way, but I’d really rather have it be more of just the acting out screw up than something with noble motivations.

          I think the character’s growth is better that way.

        8. BBCC

          Marcie lost her voice when they were 12. I think it’s already too late on that score. So it’d have to be helping with something else.

  41. Bagge

    How is that whole “nicer to your daughter”-thing working out for you, Blaine?

    Also, fudge you, Blaine.

  42. darkoneko

    ..uuuh.

  43. BenRG

    “This is blackmail. I trust that you’re smart enough to realise this as I don’t have the patience or empathy to deal with friends who have had a close family member thrown in prison.”

    Mike needs to be careful here. Like a weasel, I’m sure that Blaine is very dangerous when cornered.

    1. JepMZ

      Is that common weasel knowledge?

      1. BenRG

        It’s a common Mustelidae knowledge. It’s just that much more surprising given how small weasels are.

      2. thejeff

        Yes. Weasels are quite aware of how dangerous Blaine is when cornered.

  44. Jago

    Angry eyebrows! Well, more like stern eyebrows.

  45. Dara

    This is glorious. I wish it was going to work out better, but… this is glorious.

    1. Jon Rich

      Hell, yes. This is why I love Mike. Young!Mike is now officially my favorite character.

  46. CJ

    I don’t think 13-year-old Mike is equipped to stop Blaine. Now that Mike is older, hmm, if he decided to do go after him now, …

  47. Reltzik

    …. okay, I’m officially calling my “Mike is crushing on Blaine” theory dead.

    Good.

    1. Schpoonman

      …You had that as a theory at one point?

      1. adjudicus

        Though to be fair, with evidence it did seem kinda plausible

        1. Clif

          Not dead or implausible at all. This is just Mike’s advanced foreplay.

          Or not.

  48. BenRG

    Just purely FWIW, I’m still predicting that a Mike/Amber/Ethan triad is the end point for their mutual arc. It might even have been what Mike was aiming for in these blue flashbacks.

  49. FacelessDeviant

    Didn’t turn out so well :/

  50. Zaxares

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad that Blaine is just a regular, run of the mill abuser. If he was somebody like a crime boss, this is the exact point where Blaine’d be going, “I like this kid, but he’s too smart, AND smartmouthed for his own good. Take him out back and put a bullet in his skull.”

    1. BenRG

      FWIW, it occurs to me that Mike knows his mark well enough, even at this young age, to know which buttons to push and when.

    2. King Daniel

      We don’t know that he isn’t a crime boss. Joe’s dad said he had “mob connections”, and that’s how Faz was born in the other universe – Yuri was the daughter of a member of the Korean Mafia.

      1. BBCC

        The actual words used were ‘mob stooge’ so I’d say he’s likely not very high up. He’s not the guy ordering kids taken out back and shot, he’s the guy buying that guy’s coffee.

        1. thejeff

          Actually this may tie to the “construction business” in the Patreon flashback with Yuri.
          Maybe he really is just a stooge – not in the mob, but running a construction business and taking payoffs/laundering money, etc. (hiding bodies in the foundations).

        2. BBCC

          That would also make a lot of sense.

        3. King Daniel

          IIRC, aren’t a lot of construction companies in some regions owned by the mob? No reason why it can’t be both.

        4. thejeff

          Yeah, that’s kind of what I’m thinking. Just that he’s more owned by the mob than an actual mobster himself.

        5. BBCC

          And probably banging their daughters still, yeah (since we know he was cheating on Stacey, though HOPEFULLY not with Yuri).

        6. Inahc

          yup

  51. Eduardo

    I know there’s 0 chance I’m the first to say this but THE ASSHOLE WE NEED!

  52. TheHorseCouncil

    A thought has occured to me but, are any of those pieces of paper a cause for divorce?
    It just seems like if mike did eventually do s ok mthing with those and it led to a divorce amber at the time mightve had a less than positive reaction… at least if mike had been hoping to achieve a positive reaction.. idk… could be a stretch.

  53. Ainara

    oh noooooooo

  54. Eldritch Gentleman

    Mike is starting to look more and more like a non-violent (well that one episode with Joe aside) Dexter…

  55. Commodore Counterintuitive

    My sister is 13 years old right now and I can confirm this is how 13 year olds behave.

  56. Precious Roy

    WHY does Mike have to take the longest way around just to do something decent? Why not just be decent instead of projecting it at everyone?

    Why, Willis?

    1. Clif

      Because Mike.

    2. Creativerealms

      This was Mike when he thought he could use his powers for good. Then he reailed it wasn’t worth it.

  57. JBento

    Even if Mike13 doesn’t understand what he’s looking at in the receipts, he sure as hell understands what he’s looking at in Blaine’s facial expression change from panels 3 to 4.

    Of course, we already know how this ends: Blaine ISN’T nicer to his daughter and those receipts make their way to the hands of someone who most certainly understands what they’re looking at on them (possibly as repercussion of store robbery incident), which is why Blaine is in financial difficulties now. He also gets his ass kicked 10 ways from Sunday, so hey, guess he should’ve taken Mike’s advice.

    1. Chris B

      I don’t think it’s the store robbery that’s causing all the financial difficulties. What’s more likely for Blaine’s background, is that he’s cheating on Amber’s mom with Faz’s mom, and, assuming he’s a salesman or contractor, he’s trying to mask all the money he’s spending on her and his own luxuries as part of his business expenses.

      More likely, Blaine is self-employed, and like friends and I have seen in the consulting world, failing small home businesses run by one person are often propped up by the spouse until they wind up in bankruptcy and divorce court. In at least one case my friend worked for, the husband had taken out a second and third mortgage on their home, maxed out their credit cards, while the wife wined and dined deadbeat customers while she couldn’t manage the business’ cash.

      This would also fit the “macho” persona of Blaine: he needs to feel like the provider, but he doesn’t have the discipline to manage a business. Instead of just quitting and getting a job as an employee somewhere, he tries to stick it out, though. The legal trouble they get into later on doesn’t help, but there’s personal liability insurance for that.

      1. JBento

        I might not have explained myself clearly: I think Blaine is in no financial difficulties at the time of this strip. I think he’s cooking all the books to make more money than he legally should. I think his treatment of Amber after the store robbery prompts Mike to make sure someone responsible for that sort of stuff gets wind of Blaine’s book-cooking, and THAT’S why he ends up in his current financial issues.

        1. JBento

          Sidenote: At least he CLAIMS to have financial issues, though that may just be a way to turn Faz and his mom against Amber, while still spending all the money he wants, including cheating on her. Her meaning Faz’s mom, not Amber.

      2. thejeff

        Per Richard, as apparently learned from Stacey, he’s not a salesman or a small businessman, but “an actual mob stooge”.

  58. Jdorr

    Blaine “I like you kid”
    *A few seconds later*
    Maybe not so much

  59. foxy

    Mike is trying to do a really decent thing here, what turned him into current Mike?

    1. Drunk Mike

      This seems more like a transitional stage between nice Mike and current Mike. I think after trying to be civil with the teacher failed, he decided to start playing dirty. When blackmail doesn’t work(Blaine is still a dick) he steps up his game. The more Mike does these kinds of thing the more he likes it. He still schemes to help others, but he also starts schemeing for his own enjoyment.

      1. foxy

        Oh I completely get this is transitional, I just want to know what was the impetus for his current level of edge-lord dickitude.

  60. Cmd1095

    These flashbacks of “nice” Mike are great

  61. Derek

    why is the dumblrofage tumblr down? Did Willis delete it?

    1. David M Willis

      https://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/

  62. Clif

    Young Mike makes his next move in his master plan to step by step engineer the creation of Amazigirl.

    1. thejeff

      Next we see him talking Sal into robbing a convenience store that Blaine just happens to stop at with the kids.

  63. Rabid Rabbit

    I like the detail that Blaine was deliberately trying to show up late. “I didn’t miss it? Damn, missing my daughter’s birthday was the best one I’d come up with in days…”

    1. BBCC

      Yeah, that look on his face when he says ‘I didn’t miss it?’ is positively infuriating.

  64. Roger Sterling

    I’m beginning to think the main lesson Mike takes away from all this is to only choose targets that are either incapable or disinclined to physically check him when he mouths off.

    Tl;dr the metamorphosis isn’t the breaking of Mr. Warner, only his becoming a craven punkass.

    1. Rowen Morland

      I dunno, if this mike is anything like in the Martian invasion….

  65. Vi

    God I do love Mike.

  66. Logan Hawkes

    Suddenly, I like Mike a lot more.

  67. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    Mike: Origins

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