Yeah, I’m gonna say that even if it would have been nice on one level, he probably would have been uncomfortable and felt guilty for no particular reason and would start the conversation off awkwardly. He’d also probably apologize and then Sal would be annoyed at him for apologizing.
Billie is in the same room as a naked Sal every night.
Yotomoe
Billie is a hot lady. Billie sleeps next to a naked hot lady. Billie was almost in a relationship with a hot lady. Billie clearly got the jackpot (and then lost the ticket)
I wish just being in a room with a girl was as much fun as you make it out to be. I wouldn’t have to bother with going any further if that were the case. A lot less work that way.
The never spoke to each other or even acknowledged that the other existed from what I remember, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s their first interaction.
No, of course not. Lilith was supposedly Adam’s first wife, and she was made from the dust just as he was. However, she denied Adam top spot, and so Adam got shitty, told God, and she was banished from Eden. Then God made Eve from Adam’s rib, thus putting her “below” Adam.
Personally I find it a load of crock, but hey, whatever. Good on Lilith I suppose.
Yotomoe
See anyone who blames Eve for humanities problems is wrong. It’s Adam’s fault! That petty asshole! I bet Lilith was a dynamite gal
Dynamite gal
Dynamite gal
Dynamite Ga-
*gets eaten*
Kennerly
After that Lilith has a bunch of demon babies (fathered by, I don’t know, satan?) and spends eternity causing miscarrages and murdering children.
ShaggyDonahugh
I thought it honestly would be Cain. After all, he was cast out of his father’s grace after killing his brother.
LeslieBean4Shizzle
Actually, fathered by Samael. Along with three other female angels, Naamah, Eisheth, and Agrat. Together with Lilith, they’re the four angels of sacred prostitution.
Enjoy weird Jewish mysticism. I know I do.
tinfoil theory
It is kind of an important point that Lilith was not banished, but left paradise of her own free will.
And then had lots of relations with coastal demons.
ShaggyDonahugh
It’s funny they were demons. Might have just been people.
tinfoil theory
ShaggyDonahugh, I am of the firm opinion that demons are people, too. Just not, you know, of The People.
Swerve
The thing is that Lillith isn’t known as a feminist role model until the 20th century. Before then she’s known for causing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, miscarriages, longer than normal menstrual cycles, and nocturnal emissions. She’s also considered so dangerous that three angels are sent to imprison and guard her. The entrance to the Garden of Eden only got two angels assigned to guard it. And that’s not to mention her time as a Herald of Unicron!
StClair
You’re making that middle part up.
(Seriously: this tells you all that you need to know about the mindset of the people men who wrote this stuff down. A woman who refuses to submit to her husband! OMG, hide your babies and set THREE powerful supernatural beings to be her jailers!)
StClair
peoplemen
I fail at markup. :p
tinfoil theory
StClair, the three angelic divorce lawyers that God sent after her to convince her to come back to Adam, and failing that killed her progeny, and are consequently invoked to prevent sudden infant death syndrome, were all female, actually.
tinfoil theory
But yes, it was written by a man, probably meant as satire.
Swerve
@StClair: Um, no, I only made up the Herald of Unicron part. (But c’mon, she would totally jump at the chance!)
There are amulets and prayers designed to ward Lillith’s presence away, usually hung next to, or recited next to, a home’s Mezuzah.
torstu
sal refuses to submit to a man and leaves to become mother to demons?
also worst slipshine ever.
…actually, that ending would be pretty awesome!
AgentKeen
Kinda had a shitty start.
‘Sure, women actually give birth and deal with all the issues that go with it, but the first woman was made from Adam’s rib, so know your place and be thankful!’
Drunken Nordmann
If you count Lilith, Eve was his second wife. Seems a bit strange to me – the Catholic Church is against divorce, but Adam got a free pass why exactly?
masterofbones
Because the whole thing about Lilith isn’t canon. It is bible fanfic.
Drunken Nordmann
Which makes some people’s opionion that the whole bible is more or less fanfiction all the more hilarious.
tinfoil theory
It is not exactly Bible fanfic and rather Torah fanfic; it is Jewish mysticism. It was a deliberate interpretation of the two separate accounts of creation in Genesis: First man and woman (Adam & Adama) are created as equals from dust; then a week later, Man is created, becomes lonely (some say he tried to get it on with every animal in the zoo), before God gifted him with a clone of his own with the Y cromosome changed to X. So what happened to the first woman?
Mc
Gabriel: “God, we need to talk”
The big G: “Now what?”
Gabriel: “You *really* need to get Adam a wife of sorts…”
G: “why?”
Gabriel: “The sheep are getting STDs…”
If you’re taking that route, The New Testament is a sequel with new writers, and the Catholic Church is a reboot.
Swerve
Fred, here’s how it works out:
The five books of the Torah are the original movies. The early Prophets are the first TV spin-off. The later Prophets, Psalms, and the rest of the “Hagiographia” are spin-offs of the first spin-off.
The Midrash and the Talmud are the Expanded Universe; authorized books, video games, tabletop RPGs and comic books.
The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha are fanfic.
The New Testament is a reboot of the original which is popular with new fans, but ignored by fans of the original. The producers of the remaining try to tie it into the original, but usually ignore the original in favor of outlandish plots and a Mary Sue hero.
The Covenant of the Primes is a prequel.
Kaoy
@Swerve
My God… Its full of stars…
Swerve
Chava (aka Eve) was Adam’s third wife, not his second. First was Lillith, who was both male and female, like Adam. Then came a second wife, created out of Adam’s body, while he was awake, and Adam got kinda squirmed out by seeing the whole process. Poor woman didn’t even get a name! Finally, Adam was put to sleep, and Eve was created from Adam’s body. When he woke up he saw her fully formed, unlike the second wife, whom he saw as her skeletal structure, muscles and skin were forming.
Neil Gaiman recounts all this in an issue of “The Sandman”; you don’t need to learn Bereishis Rabbah to learn it.
Also, calling the Torah “fan-fiction” could be construed as Judeophobic. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!
Man, I could have totally done PSA’s back in the G1 cartoon!
tinfoil theory
The whole gving birth in pain thing was because whe seduced Adam, though. There were no childrenin paradise (which is probably why it was paradise.) The lesson is: Don’t have sex, or you’ll get pregnant or have to find a job.
What is especially juicy is that Eve was Adams daughter. She sprang from his rib, which no matter how you interpret is, makes her his blood relative, and it is even explicitly mentioned that they were of the same blood.
Drunken Nordmann
And all of mankind descended from them, so – that’s why you don’t take anything in the bible literally. It’s a book full of stories we should learn lessons from, not the ultimate literal truth. Otherwise you’d have a lot of logic holes like “Why is incest immoral if we’re all descended from the same two people?”
Anarchy 101
Obviously you’re not protestant then, as they believe as a whole, that the Bible is completely literal and should not be interpreted as parables or make believe stories.
194 thoughts on “Receptionist”
AHR
Wow the universe is strange Danny and Joyce are interacting and it’s adorable.
Deathjavu
As opposed to their earliest alternate universe interactions, which were less adorable and more…creepy.
Catullus
On the other hand, the earlier universe had a comedically oversized calculator, which would probably come in handy right about now.
Yotomoe
Oh No! Thanks for saving me from seeing a naked lady!
Plasma Mongoose
I mean, who could want to see something like that anyhow?
Sir Robin
Not Ethan
RevenantBacon
*Garden of Eden* style. *snickers*
newllend
Ya not like I was looking forward to that or nothing thanks a lot! (Fucker)
DiDi
Well, this is Danny. I’m pretty sure he actually didn’t want to.
This is the guy who stopped things with Billie because he was afraid of taking advantage of her.
He’d probably have a similar thought of unintentionally seeing Sal naked too.
Axel
Yeah, I’m gonna say that even if it would have been nice on one level, he probably would have been uncomfortable and felt guilty for no particular reason and would start the conversation off awkwardly. He’d also probably apologize and then Sal would be annoyed at him for apologizing.
Joyce is just saving them the trouble.
Chico
Eyes closed or not, lucky sonuva bongo.
Yotomoe
Just by being in the same room as a naked Sal he has achieved what many have thought impossible.
Nono
Billie is in the same room as a naked Sal every night.
Yotomoe
Billie is a hot lady. Billie sleeps next to a naked hot lady. Billie was almost in a relationship with a hot lady. Billie clearly got the jackpot (and then lost the ticket)
Cheryl
HAHAHA lost the ticket!
Plasma Mongoose
And yet she’s not happy because?
newllend
She’s not making out with a nother hot lady right now?
Plasma Mongoose
A good a reason as any I have heard.
LeslieBean4Shizzle
That is a very good reason to be unhappy. I know I’d be unhappy if I didn’t have another hot lady to make out with.
Scoops
Next Slipshine: Billie Making Out With Another Hot Lady Right Now
Ocbrad1
My subscription is waiting…
Ivan
If only I could draw something other than a graph.
Jen Aside
I can draw… a bath? Draw… the curtains?
Sam
After all those years of Danning it up big time, Danny finally Danned himself into a pretty sweet situation.
masterofbones
I wish just being in a room with a girl was as much fun as you make it out to be. I wouldn’t have to bother with going any further if that were the case. A lot less work that way.
Spectre
I didn’t know Eve had biker gloves.
Spectre
…Oh, right. Hover text. Forgot about that. XD
Yotomoe
See, that’s what happen when you keep a book around for several millenia. Stuff gets lost in translation.
Wonder Wig
Her name is short for Eveil Kinievel.
Swerve
No, she had to settle for regular snakeskin gloves. Get it? Yeah that was a pretty lame one.
Anyway, since Billie’s left the room, and Sal’s awake, who wants engex?
sps48
But I wanna see her!
Plasma Mongoose
How does Joyce know and besides, she still has her gloves on so she isn’t totally buff.
LimeTH
She woke Sal up once only to find out she sleeps nude.
TheKelliestKelly
Joyce knows from waking up Sal a few in-comic-days ago http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/bunk/
Plasma Mongoose
I feel kinda silly now for forgeting suchh a key moment.
Kirt
Naked and wearing only gloves is just fetish fuel. Joyce is saving Danny from a life where he can only orgasm in the presence of biker gloves.
MrSirk
Sal’s rockin the Mickey Mouse swag!
Kernanator
Joyce’s first interaction with Danny in this universe is to shield his eyes from nakedness.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
tinfoil theory
I love how Danny just goes along with what Joyce is doing.
LiamAldam
Second interaction. She first met him as Joe’s roommate.
Kernanator
The never spoke to each other or even acknowledged that the other existed from what I remember, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s their first interaction.
Yotomoe
Next Slipshine: Sal performs an Eve.
ShaggyDonahugh
Sal becomes modest, shields her nakedness, and submits to a man?
Worst. Slipshine. Ever.
Yotomoe
Oh right. I forgot that that story had kind of a shitty ending for all involved, especially Eve.
ShaggyDonahugh
It’s okay Yotomoe, if it’d been Sal performs a Lilith, it’d been the hottest one ever.
Plasma Mongoose
Which Lilith, not the one from Frasier I hope.
ShaggyDonahugh
No, of course not. Lilith was supposedly Adam’s first wife, and she was made from the dust just as he was. However, she denied Adam top spot, and so Adam got shitty, told God, and she was banished from Eden. Then God made Eve from Adam’s rib, thus putting her “below” Adam.
Personally I find it a load of crock, but hey, whatever. Good on Lilith I suppose.
Yotomoe
See anyone who blames Eve for humanities problems is wrong. It’s Adam’s fault! That petty asshole! I bet Lilith was a dynamite gal
Dynamite gal
Dynamite gal
Dynamite Ga-
*gets eaten*
Kennerly
After that Lilith has a bunch of demon babies (fathered by, I don’t know, satan?) and spends eternity causing miscarrages and murdering children.
ShaggyDonahugh
I thought it honestly would be Cain. After all, he was cast out of his father’s grace after killing his brother.
LeslieBean4Shizzle
Actually, fathered by Samael. Along with three other female angels, Naamah, Eisheth, and Agrat. Together with Lilith, they’re the four angels of sacred prostitution.
Enjoy weird Jewish mysticism. I know I do.
tinfoil theory
It is kind of an important point that Lilith was not banished, but left paradise of her own free will.
And then had lots of relations with coastal demons.
ShaggyDonahugh
It’s funny they were demons. Might have just been people.
tinfoil theory
ShaggyDonahugh, I am of the firm opinion that demons are people, too. Just not, you know, of The People.
Swerve
The thing is that Lillith isn’t known as a feminist role model until the 20th century. Before then she’s known for causing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, miscarriages, longer than normal menstrual cycles, and nocturnal emissions. She’s also considered so dangerous that three angels are sent to imprison and guard her. The entrance to the Garden of Eden only got two angels assigned to guard it. And that’s not to mention her time as a Herald of Unicron!
StClair
You’re making that middle part up.
(Seriously: this tells you all that you need to know about the mindset of the people men who wrote this stuff down. A woman who refuses to submit to her husband! OMG, hide your babies and set THREE powerful supernatural beings to be her jailers!)
StClair
peoplemenI fail at markup. :p
tinfoil theory
StClair, the three angelic divorce lawyers that God sent after her to convince her to come back to Adam, and failing that killed her progeny, and are consequently invoked to prevent sudden infant death syndrome, were all female, actually.
tinfoil theory
But yes, it was written by a man, probably meant as satire.
Swerve
@StClair: Um, no, I only made up the Herald of Unicron part. (But c’mon, she would totally jump at the chance!)
There are amulets and prayers designed to ward Lillith’s presence away, usually hung next to, or recited next to, a home’s Mezuzah.
torstu
sal refuses to submit to a man and leaves to become mother to demons?
also worst slipshine ever.
…actually, that ending would be pretty awesome!
AgentKeen
Kinda had a shitty start.
‘Sure, women actually give birth and deal with all the issues that go with it, but the first woman was made from Adam’s rib, so know your place and be thankful!’
Drunken Nordmann
If you count Lilith, Eve was his second wife. Seems a bit strange to me – the Catholic Church is against divorce, but Adam got a free pass why exactly?
masterofbones
Because the whole thing about Lilith isn’t canon. It is bible fanfic.
Drunken Nordmann
Which makes some people’s opionion that the whole bible is more or less fanfiction all the more hilarious.
tinfoil theory
It is not exactly Bible fanfic and rather Torah fanfic; it is Jewish mysticism. It was a deliberate interpretation of the two separate accounts of creation in Genesis: First man and woman (Adam & Adama) are created as equals from dust; then a week later, Man is created, becomes lonely (some say he tried to get it on with every animal in the zoo), before God gifted him with a clone of his own with the Y cromosome changed to X. So what happened to the first woman?
Mc
Gabriel: “God, we need to talk”
The big G: “Now what?”
Gabriel: “You *really* need to get Adam a wife of sorts…”
G: “why?”
Gabriel: “The sheep are getting STDs…”
Fred
If you’re taking that route, The New Testament is a sequel with new writers, and the Catholic Church is a reboot.
Swerve
Fred, here’s how it works out:
The five books of the Torah are the original movies. The early Prophets are the first TV spin-off. The later Prophets, Psalms, and the rest of the “Hagiographia” are spin-offs of the first spin-off.
The Midrash and the Talmud are the Expanded Universe; authorized books, video games, tabletop RPGs and comic books.
The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha are fanfic.
The New Testament is a reboot of the original which is popular with new fans, but ignored by fans of the original. The producers of the remaining try to tie it into the original, but usually ignore the original in favor of outlandish plots and a Mary Sue hero.
The Covenant of the Primes is a prequel.
Kaoy
@Swerve
My God… Its full of stars…
Swerve
Chava (aka Eve) was Adam’s third wife, not his second. First was Lillith, who was both male and female, like Adam. Then came a second wife, created out of Adam’s body, while he was awake, and Adam got kinda squirmed out by seeing the whole process. Poor woman didn’t even get a name! Finally, Adam was put to sleep, and Eve was created from Adam’s body. When he woke up he saw her fully formed, unlike the second wife, whom he saw as her skeletal structure, muscles and skin were forming.
Neil Gaiman recounts all this in an issue of “The Sandman”; you don’t need to learn Bereishis Rabbah to learn it.
Also, calling the Torah “fan-fiction” could be construed as Judeophobic. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!
Man, I could have totally done PSA’s back in the G1 cartoon!
tinfoil theory
The whole gving birth in pain thing was because whe seduced Adam, though. There were no childrenin paradise (which is probably why it was paradise.) The lesson is: Don’t have sex, or you’ll get pregnant or have to find a job.
What is especially juicy is that Eve was Adams daughter. She sprang from his rib, which no matter how you interpret is, makes her his blood relative, and it is even explicitly mentioned that they were of the same blood.
Drunken Nordmann
And all of mankind descended from them, so – that’s why you don’t take anything in the bible literally. It’s a book full of stories we should learn lessons from, not the ultimate literal truth. Otherwise you’d have a lot of logic holes like “Why is incest immoral if we’re all descended from the same two people?”
Anarchy 101
Obviously you’re not protestant then, as they believe as a whole, that the Bible is completely literal and should not be interpreted as parables or make believe stories.
Drunken Nordmann
No, I’m Roman Catholic – we interpret the bible.