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Red Bull
Posted on January 19, 2011 by David M Willis

68 thoughts on “Red Bull”

  1. Chrisby

    Her stupid FAAAAAACE.

    1. Undrave

      Great FAAAAAAACE think alike.

  2. David Herbert

    Let me guess, tomorrow we discover that the combination has turned her into Amazi-Girl’s nemesis: Hyper Drunk. With the power to flash boobs at the speed of light.

  3. JackNapier

    Should’ve gotten Four Loko. It’s alcoholic energy drink, so there’s something for everyone!

    1. NCP19

      Heh, that’s what I get for pausing. Great minds think alike.

    2. Ragnal

      Isn’t that that “blackout in a can” I’ve been hearing about? I don’t think even Billie would go to that.

    3. David

      Have you tried to get a Four Loko in the past few months? They got FDAed, dude.

      1. beeftony

        But apparently it makes great biofuel.

      2. Beachfox

        But it wasn’t banned back in September! Which is when this is still taking place, right?

        *ducks*

      3. MaxGoof

        Four Lokos aren’t banned everywhere. I just bought some and tried them in Cleveland a couple weeks ago. The real question isn’t whether or not they’re safe, but whether or not a human being could drink a whole can of that gross stuff. Seriously–most vile concoction I’ve ever tasted in my life.

        1. David

          I don’t see how anybody could drink a whole can! I can’t finish off more than half, and usually I have to go by thirds.

          But, man, that stuff really helped me do both SP! and DoA for a while. I’m kinda feeling the lack of webcomic fuel these days. Nobody here stocks it anymore.

        2. Brendan

          A fifth of MD20 and a quarter-teaspoon of caffeine powder (a quick Google search will find a supplier; it’s about $20 per cup). Trust me on this one. Offsets the sweetness, too.

        3. NF

          Four Loko fueled David Willis’ webcomicking?

          This raises so many questions.

        4. numaron

          Actually, NF, I think that answers more questions than it raises. 😉

        5. Zap

          And yet it answers so many at the same time.

        6. Wizard

          Monster Energy and tequila. Works surprisingly well.

        7. Fauxlosopher

          Had a can and a half once. I split the first can with someone, then drank the second. I remember taking the last swallow, then waking up on the couch the next afternoon.

          Black out in a can? YES. Jesus Christ, yes. And you can buy them at local liquor stores in Carbondale, IL, where Southern Illinois University is, for about three fifty.

        8. Malph

          I don’t drink (or, rather, can’t legally for another year), but I heard if you drink four light beers beforehand it doesn’t taste as much like diesel fuel.

      4. JackNapier

        Beachfox has a point. Isn’t it still August for these crazy kids? Four Loko would still be available.

        1. David

          As I discussed regarding the whole cafeteria trays fiasco, it may just be August for them, but that doesn’t mean it’s August 2010 for them. They’re in an August. Dumbing of Age isn’t intended to slowly become a period piece.

        2. JackNapier

          Duly noted. I’ll keep that in mind next time.

  4. NCP19

    Billie just needs some Fourloco (or whatever it is)

  5. Darth Shadow

    I’m not sure anyone can read her blood alcohol level anymore, mainly because there’s more alcohol in her than actual blood.

    1. Black_Fedora

      or as my Sister would say, “You got too much blood in yer’ Alcohol stream, their’s some rum hidden in the couch, fix it” 😛

      1. Malph

        Or, as my neighbor would say:

        “You’ve gots erself sum blah in yer [incomprehensible gibberish]. LES GET SLOSHED!!!”

  6. Wackd

    Is it possible for someone to be passed out and have extreme jitters simultaneously? Because I see that happening next.

    That, or Billie dies. I have to admit tomorrow’s strip starting with Sal finding Billie’s corpse in her room and completely ignoring it would be amusing. Sick, yes, but amusing.

    I’m trying to decide which would be funnier, hang on…

    1. Viktoria

      THIS. Oh god, Billie dying of alcohol poisoning and a heart attack at once would be hilarious, just for Sal’s reaction. Please, Willis?

      1. beeftony

        It’s too early for April Fool’s day.

  7. arjay2813

    i’d put money on her not showing up

    1. Undrave

      I thought the last panel happened at morning and Sal didn’t show up at all?

      1. arjay2813

        i thought it could be the sunset, but it could be morning. willis only knows.

      2. Jason

        Hmm, I didn’t think of that, but the morning interpretation does make the strip a lot funnier!

    2. Bill M.

      Sal does not sleep, she waits.

  8. Alice Macher

    BAD Billie! *smack* Don’t mix alcohol and energy drinks. Dunk your head in ice water every few minutes and you can still drink while staying awake.

  9. Eri

    Even before reading the comic as soon as I read the title I went “with whiskey, right?”

    1. Jason

      No. With his penis.

  10. Peace in Our Time

    What is it with these wuss kids today and their need for energy drinks just to get through one night? God, Billie, no wonder you’ve gotten fat.

  11. Dahlia

    Now she’s finally acting logical!

    I wonder how this will go. O:

  12. Noxx

    That’s a nights worth of whiskey? Phbbbt.

    1. dchorror

      Some people can nurse a drink forever. It’s a lot cheaper than buying a case.

      1. Noxx

        There’s a term for nursing a half-pint all night tho…. sobriety.

        1. dchorror

          Given that she was pulling those out of her bag, I don’t think Billie’s one of those people, she just has it stashed in her bag.

  13. HeezytheBeezy

    I’ve chugged two FourLokos before a night on the town. No blackouts, no heaves, nary a headache in the morning, but the most wonderful state of intoxication I’ve ever experienced. The secret is being Irish, I think. In this case, I don’t think those would work out well for Billie. Long live college students!

  14. John Biles

    It takes some impressive stupid to drink whiskey if you want to stay awake all night.

  15. Astragali

    From what I read on Wikipedia, Four Loko has been reformulated without the caffeine. But it’s not selling as well, and illegal sales of the caffeinated version are continuing, at about five times the original retail price…

  16. rezby

    I’m sorry Billie, I guess college is just babies.

  17. Robert in San Diego

    The one time I tried “Red Bull,” was practically vibrating. And I’m a coffee drinker. What do they put in those energy drinks, anyway?

    1. Soundbucket

      I never drink coffee, and Red Bull has nearly no effect on me.
      I think its effects depend on the user’s genetic makeup or something?

      1. Wizard

        I tried one once. Once. Didn’t really do anything for me, plus it tasted like cough syrup. OTOH, a friend of mine described as “like drinking pure energy”. So, yeah, response does seem to vary by user.

      2. Pulse5

        Or it could be how people react to electrified toxic waste

    2. Lokitsu

      Robert, the major ingredients are caffeine, sugar and something intended to boost the effect of the caffeine. Red bull uses taurine, which is made from bile.
      That’s right… bile.

    3. Undrave

      You know how they sell decafeinate coffee? Well the caffeine they pull out of coffee is sold to fine folks like Red Bull.

      Also say no to Taurine!

    4. Noxx

      Here’s a good read on the taurine / caffeine combo, with citations http://healthpsych.psy.vanderbilt.edu/Taurine.htm

      Also, if you are pre-disposed by other factors to arrhythmia, the double dose of diuretics along with ingredients that interact most actively with heart tissue can lead to some interesting times. In studies I have participated in, some people ingesting “energy drinks” begin throwing PVC’s and displaying abnormal rhythms after a single serving.

      So, not to be alarmist, but if Red Bull makes you feel jittery and weird, you should probably leave it alone.

  18. OhNoUDiNt

    She’s probably great in the sack after a whiskey and a Red Bull. Besides, if the drinking becomes a problem, Joe can fix her. With his penis.

  19. Clementine

    There is a place that has Four Loko nearby.

    And, yes, I know where you live.

    “You faaaaace is so babies.”

    1. David

      The Weber Mart on the corner of Weber and Indianola used to carry it, but they don’t no more.

      1. maggiemarmalade

        No you just have to be a cute girl and ask about it at the counter. They have it in the back.

        1. Clementine

          There’s a convenience store on High across from Taco Bell, I think, or across from North Campus Video. Somewhere in that vicinity.

          They had several flavors in the cooler and stacks of them on the floor. Clearly, they’re pushing to get rid of them. 🙂

          Maggie is also correct about your other option. Time to go drag to get your Four Loko fix.

  20. Loki

    So, the next strip is set in the hospital after Billie’s blackout and/or coma, yes?

    1. dchorror

      Too early to have a time skip. Plus, we’d miss all the juicy bits for the other characters.

  21. dchorror

    It doesn’t seem she cares about making or keeping friends, so I could imagine college being pretty painful.

    1. begbert2

      I don’t see what makes you think she’s uninterested in making friends. She hasn’t made friends with the hostile Ruth or the absent Sal, but honestly that doesn’t seem indicative of much to me.

      Well regardless, friends or not she has her booze; so she’ll be fine.

    2. Strephon

      She seemed pleased at the prospect of Joyce wanting to be her friend…until Sal came along and stole her thunder.

      1. dchorror

        She seemed pleased with the idea of Joyce worshiping her. I doubt anything would have come of it if Joyce hadn’t have proclaimed her to be awesome. She sees people as a means to an end.

  22. Zem

    She’s rooming with Batman. She could get from door to bed without her even noticing, probably.

  23. Robert in San Diego

    Dumb question — what do YOU use for stakeout fuel? I generally go with double espressos or small/short coffees. By the way, “Short” is Starbucks code for an 8 ounce hot beverage — it’s not on their menus, but they still stock the cups.

    1. Malph

      Whenever I need to stay up all night (which is surprisingly often) I use Monster or Venom. Then, in the morning, I drink coffee.

    2. KHNO

      225g of beverage or of coffee? Neither of it is short! – of course my idea of short is what we have here as ristrettos, which is in Italy way too full to be called anything else than espresso.

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