205

Relevance
Posted on May 15, 2020 by David M Willis

205 thoughts on “Relevance”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    oh ok, glad we cleared that up

  2. King Daniel

    Dumbing of Age Book X: The Legendary Faz Has Achieved a Return to Relevance

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      … that honestly has a high likelyhood of actually being the title.
      Or, well, it does kinda spoil the reveal, so maybe not?
      Hm.

      1. King Daniel

        On the other hand, we already had Hey, Guess What, I’m a Lesbian! as the title for Book 5 despite that being treated as a reveal in-comic, so…

        1. Thanatos

          In this case, it would still be more of a surprise because a return to relevance doesn’t actually say in a good or bad way. When we last saw Faz, we got a glimpse that he might have had a glimmer of empathy for Amber. Knowing that he would be back doesn’t indicate whether he would be there to help or hurt.

        2. clif

          Either way, I give it a descent probability.

        3. Chris

          Descent probability (n): The likelihood that someone will fall down the stairs.

        4. Strangeshapes

          We don’t entirely know that yet ourselves. I feel he could still realize that getting his sister and her friends killed is not where he wants to go in life. Particularly if he sees Amber stick up for him at some point.

    2. Tan

      Dumbing of Age Book 10: Dang, Our Two Families Sure Like to Beat Up on Each Other, Huh?

    3. Needfuldoer

      Dumbing of Age Book 10: I Think the Little Weirdo Crawled Outta The Cupboards!

      Fuckface gets the cover for this one, as a red herring.

  3. auroki

    Don’t give Faz and excuse to say he got hammered with ladies in a room.

    1. Mada

      Well that’s why one aims for his jaw.

      1. Hex Hornet

        Seconded!

  4. Hex Hornet

    A new level of somewhat subtle ‘meta’-ness.
    Wait. Was that a Brooklyn Nine nine reference?

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      I was thinking Community.
      Abed: “Cool. Cool cool cool.”
      (just rewatched that recently on Netflix)

      1. Hex Hornet

        You may be right.
        If he was doing a Jake Peralta, there’d have been, like, 14 more “cool”s in there with no spaces in between.

      2. nobilis

        Doesn’t Abed say it five times: “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool”?
        Walky hasn’t yet achieved abedness.

        1. Cholma

          Walky is still looking for his Troy.

        2. Jonrock411

          Nope, it’s definitely 4. Once, and then three rapid fire.

          Cool

          Cool cool cool

          I spent way too long in my early 20s trying to memorize the cadence

      3. OtterBoy1

        I was also thinking Community

      4. Astaphe

        Abed’s cool cool cool is rarely used ironically. Peralta’s on the other hand is always an attempt to make light of a bad situation, so I think this is more in the 99’s court.

  5. SimpleSinner

    Finally gonna get to see Dina lay down the pain. Look at those eyes.

    1. Hex Hornet

      Like a carnivore hunting in the tall grass. Tall grass that is shocked to be in the presence of Faz.

    2. Zor

      SMITE THEM, DINASAUR

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Not just her eyes, but the ones on the hoodie too!

    4. RacingTurtle

      Just here to join the Dina’s Face Appreciation Society

    5. Keulen

      She’s spotted her prey and is ready to pounce.

    6. MacareuxMoine

      Dang! She is good at going unnoticed. This is the second strip in a row where I read about her in the comments and go “Wait she’s in there? Where? Oh, right there.”

    7. fire_daws

      Dang, didn’t see her at first. Clever girl.

  6. poofdepoof

    Just here to say I hope that Walky doesn’t get framed for Toedad’s murder

    I don’t think it’s likely but it popped into my head by instinct so…

    1. Mra

      They would have to do something about the six other witnesses willing to vouch for him.

    2. tim gueguen

      A five minute talk with Walky would convince even the stupidest cop he didn’t kill anyone.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        Yeah, but also a five minute talk with Walky would convince even a mildly corrupt cop that Walky could safely be falsely accused (unless Walky happened to mention his family connections).

        See, you seem to think that cops try to find the actual killers, and try to figure out who’s innocent so they can let them go. I’m sure some cops do that sometimes. A lot of the time, like when the truth might hurt their fellow cops, they’ll plant evidence or lie in their reports.

        1. James

          Fortunately, there are currently zero cops possibly on the hook for killing Toedad, so even the corrupt ones aren’t likely to try pinning it on Walky.

        2. Reltzik

          A more common problem (though I wouldn’t go so far to say that it’s what usually happens) is that the cops will get lazy and just grab whoever’s handy rather than put in the work of investigating.

          … oh, look, Blaine’s handy, and with half a dozen testimonies it won’t be any work at all.

        3. Bicycle Bill

          Cops don’t need to plant anything.  Six or seven witnesses, plus Blaine’s fingerprints all over that hammer … not even Perry Mason would be able to get him off.

        4. Reltzik

          PHRASING!

          *goes to get brain bleach*

        5. Sarda

          By acting like this is how it works the majority of the time, you’re just as bad as the people who claim this never happens.

        6. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, shut up.

        7. Huehuetotl

          What is the acceptable level of cops jailing innocent people for you? Police often use the Reid Technique for interrogations, which has a presumption of guilt. It’s not designed to figure out the truth. It’s designed to get confessions. You’ve both-sided systemic injustice.

        8. thejeff

          It’s not about what’s acceptable, it’s about spinning far past the already awful reality. Yes, there are massive, unacceptable problems with the police in this country (with the whole criminal justice system in fact). But that doesn’t make all of them into cartoon villains.

          In this situation, the cops deciding to blame Walky for kidnapping his friends (and murdering Ross and injuring Blaine as well, I guess?) just isn’t plausible. There’s no way to make it work. Even if they isolated him and badgered him into some kind of confession – there’s a bunch of other friendly witnesses/victims and a trail of physical evidence that’ll blow that out of the water.

          The systemic injustice is very real, but it has its limits. Ignoring that makes it less likely people will take it seriously.

        9. anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness

          It reads as a very reasoned and reasonable argument and then I think back to some of the stories I have read and seen.
          For example the young boys accused of murdering the sister of one of them, the cop shooting a guy in the back and caught on video dropping an undischarged taser beside the body, the woman who called the cops regarding a prowler and being shot dead by the second cop as the first was talking to her while both were safely sitting in their car, the black guy out jogging shot dead on the spot [there are a few like this one], the Canadian stopped for a supposed traffic violation [driving a high end car while black] and shot dead while reaching for his wallet …..

          Those are just the ones off the top of my head from the last few years.
          How many cops actually spent time in prison as an inmate in the last two decades? Can you get to one hand? A finger?
          Please tell us. We want even just a sliver of hope.

        10. Sombrero

          A five minute talk with Linda Walkerton would convince even the most corrupt cop that confronting the mafia bosses is a relatively less dangerous activity than to mess with the favorite Walkerton kid.

    3. G97

      I’m not denying that police brutality is a thing but I’m pretty sure that the cops wouldn’t immediately look at a blood covered, brightly garbed madman armed with a hammer and immediately say “brown skinned boy being held hostage did it open fire!”. Honestly Faz is the only one I’d say has a chance at getting shot at in this entire house considering he’s holding a deadly weapon and honestly I don’t think he’s smart enough to immediately drop it at the demand of an officer.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        No, I don’t think they’d immediately shoot Walky on purpose. But if he were shot by accident, they might plant a weapon on him and claim he was a danger to them, rather than admit they shot an innocent helpless person.

        They don’t even have to say he’s one of the kidnappers. Just plant the weapon, then say he made a threatening move – or even claim they thought he had a weapon. If it hits the media, dig up records that show he’s less than perfect, and put stories to that effect in the conservative gossip rags. His skin color will do the rest. Oh, and throw his sister under the bus too – guilt by association helps obscure things.

        1. G97

          I don’t know if you are being facetious or not but I don’t think planting a gun would work considering there’s at least three eye witnesses who can say that the obvious kidnapped victim in broad daylight didn’t have a gun without fingerprints. Like, police racism and brutality is definitely real but I don’t think it gets to conspiracy levels. There’s a reason most BLM shootings happen in isolated areas at night and not, y’know, in the morning with several witnesses during an abduction investigation.

        2. Opus the Poet

          I refer you to the videos of the Michael Brown shooting outside St.Louis.

        3. G97

          I said most…

        4. Chris Phoenix

          I did not say gun. I said weapon. Anything longer than it’s wide can look enough like a weapon to get a cop off the hook. It doesn’t have to be a weapon. It just has to give them an excuse for claiming they felt threatened. That’s all they need to claim they followed police procedure while they were killing an innocent helpless harmless person. Yes, in broad daylight. Yes, while he’s lying on his face on the floor begging them not to kill him. IT HAPPENS. And THEY GET OFF.

  7. JetstreamGW

    Someone break his nose.

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      Blaine’s, Walky’s, or Faz’s?

      D. All of the above.

      1. NinjaNick

        Blaine’s, then Faz’s.

        1. Wizard

          Break Blaine’s nose, by hitting him with Faz. Seriously, no bigger than Faz is, I’m sure I could get a pretty good swing on him.

  8. Sporky

    I kinda expected a little more urgency, but more Walkying is good too.

    I suppose it’s tough to have dramatic moments in an arc when two of the key characters use humor to diffuse tension.

  9. Cattleprod

    Once it’s out of a body*, everyone’s blood is equally dead.

    *and not properly stored, I guess.

  10. Nono

    Oh hey, Amber acknowledges that Faz isn’t her half-brother.

    It’s so heartwarming to see family coming closer together.

    1. King Daniel

      Technically, he is her half-brother.

      What Amber used to insist upon was that he was her step-brother.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        Blaine very vehemently corrected it to “step-father” when Faz called him “father,” so Amber’s not the only one who doesn’t want to be related to the little creep.

        1. adam Black

          thats just Blaine denying a crime.

        2. MacareuxMoine

          So, is today’s denial a continuation of this one or the denying of Amazi-Girl’s identity or both?

        3. Needfuldoer

          Right now, Amber’s driving because there’s cheek blushes and she’s tagged.

          Blaine just sees Amazi-Girl because of the costume. He’s diving deeper into denial because she can’t possibly be Amber. Why? Because she just can’t be, no further reasoning required. If she shows him irrefutable evidence, he’s going to snap.

          It’s also looking probable that Blaine is Faz’s biological father, as a result of Blaine’s extramarital affair with Yuri. Blaine would have had good reason to deny this, because that would have been strong evidence against him during the divorce. Since that didn’t play out as he planned, yet he can’t be wrong, it makes sense that he’d cling to his own narrative.

        4. Strangeshapes

          You know, I’m now wondering if Blaine is not just a narcissistic abusive bully, but actually has full-on delusions? Maybe AmberG’s split has underlying genetic foundations that she managed to turn in a passably healthier direction?

        5. Needfuldoer

          Delusions of grandeur, maybe. He probably thinks he has leverage with the Gramps Mafia, but in reality it only extends to deciding which fabric softener to add to the money he launders for them.

          When this finally comes to a head, I bet he’ll double down on the fictional narrative he’s built around himself. He’ll be just like the crazy baker lady from that infamous episode of Kitchen Nightmares, or the interior designer with the historic house from Hoarders. These types will never admit defeat. They’ll never say they were wrong, because that just cannot physically happen in their world.

        6. thejeff

          Not merely strong evidence in the divorce, but quite possibly given Yuri’s apparent age, evidence of statutory rape.

        7. Opus the Poet

          On the apparent age, Koreans tend to look like teens to Americans until they reach middle age when all of a sudden they start looking their true age. So Yuki could have been (barely) of age when Blaine knocked her up and she still looks like a high schooler with Faz in high school.

        8. thejeff

          It’s possible. Amber seemed disturbed by the idea and she’s probably got a decent idea of her age.

        9. Needfuldoer

          Yeah, hopefully she’s at least 34. That doesn’t mean Blaine couldn’t have started grooming her when she was underage, though.

          Thankfully, Sarah’s “twenty-five, tops” assessment has to be hyperbole. If not, that flies right over “eew” and lands on “biologically improbable”.

      2. HeySo

        “Technically, he is her half-brother.”

        Did Willis ever back-track on that “Amber is Blaine’s only biological child” statement, though?

        1. thejeff

          He said at some point back in the sequence when Faz reappeared that he’d forgotten saying that.

  11. Sirksome

    You suck so hard right now Walky. You will never live this down and deserve to be covered in dead toedad blood. It is your shame!

  12. danielle

    this is not a bloody good time, walky

    1. King Daniel

      Hey now, being sanguine can be good for one’s health.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        He does have the humours.

      2. RacingTurtle

        Of the many, many puns that have graced this fine comment section, I’ve gotta say, “Walky is sanguine in this strip” has gotta be in my top 5 favorites. Hats off to you, King Daniel

        1. Geneseepaws

          It’s good to be the King (of Puns).

  13. Mra

    So does Blaine know Amber’s secret yet?

    1. tim gueguen

      He’s in denial.

      1. King Daniel

        Funny, if they’re still in Bloomington one would rather expect Blaine to be in de Clear.

      2. Nono

        Boy, I hope the prison guards laugh at him for this entire con basically being because he got beat up by a girl.

        Scratch that, he got beat up by his girl.

        1. Some1

          Granted the homicide makes it a lot less funny.

      3. Tirachokko

        “You can’t be Amazi-girl! You’re…you’re not cool enough to be Amazi-girl!”

      4. bryy

        Blaine 100% knows, especially by the wording he used in the last panel.

        1. SuperZero

          The one where he said he’s “absolutely not” her dad?

    2. SuperZero

      He’s denying that he’s Amazi-Girl’s father, but not denying that she’s Faz’s sister. So..

      idk

      1. Strangeshapes

        Which, if you recall his description of her during the fight where Mike got hurt, means Blaine is actually saying he absolutely can’t be cool enough to be her father. Which, okay, gotta agree with him there.

  14. Bristingr

    You forgot to tag Faz in the comic.

    1. Hex Hornet

      I think that was deliberate.
      It’s FAZ, after all.

    2. tim gueguen

      Neck comic will reveal it’s his twin brother Zaf.

      1. King Daniel

        Zaph’s over at Forest Hall.

  15. Tirachokko

    Welcome to the Family, Walky

    1. Newllend(henryvolt)

      Oh oh this is a good time for this-
      https://youtu.be/cZl5TCi-uyg

  16. Cmasta1992

    I was starting to wonder if Blaine would have vague pride in Amber being Amazi-Girl something along the lines of “wow my little girl actually stood up for something and showed spine for once” which would make Amber feel gross in a whole different way

    But nah that dude took the Egypt Express straight to Denial.

    1. William Leonard Reese Jr.

      I think only ‘Ghost’ Blaine approves of Amber learning to kick ass and take names. Of asserting herself through violence.

      Real Blaine is so up his ass and self perceptions that there is **nothing** Amber could ever do to make him proud of her.

      So I think that Real Blaine has just set up shop on Denial and fishes along it’s banks.

      . . . Which kind of makes the whole ‘Ghost’ Blaine thing kind of more . .is tragic the right word there? Horrifying?

      1. Regalli

        A manifestation of her most vicious self-loathing, doing to herself what even he can’t (but would probably delight in knowing he takes up her headspace like that,) proving that in many ways AmbG truly is her own worst enemy? But only because Blaine so thoroughly screwed her up first that she can’t see how much better she truly is than him, even if she’s far from perfect?

        Which, yeah, tragic and horrifying are snappier descriptors there but it’s still hard to encapsulate all the depth of pain in that.

        I’ll settle for, ‘go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw, Blaine.’ Also does the job adequately.

    2. Nono

      I would not be remotely surprised if at least half his denial was due to gender bias, because Amber’s a girl.

      1. James

        How’s that work considering Amazigirl is also a girl? Besides just massive hoop-jumping and double-think.

      2. Regalli

        Remember that, because he didn’t know Amber was the one who beat him shitless the first time, he went with ‘a bunch of men beat me up in the McDonalds parking lot’ and not ‘a wannabe vigilante, what the hell’s going on THERE?’

        Absolutely gender bias. Note that he’s willing to involve Faz in his schemes as well. (Granted, Faz is clearly both competent and willing/cowed enough to participate in actively criminal schemes, but still, when did he realize Faz was competent? Because that is not an impression one gets from him until he’s fucked your shit up! Also, he’s 15, go fuck yourself Blaine.)

        1. SuperZero

          While the police can’t be too happy with Amazi-Girl, who is a violent criminal, she does legitimately go after criminals.
          If he told the truth, “Amazi-Girl attacked me!” could lead to asking why. It’s possible that’s the only reason he lied.

          But also it’s gender bias.

    3. Tirachokko

      lol ofc he wouldn’t, b.c that would mean accepting that he doesn’t know every aspect of her personality and being. He likely sees her as some parents view their kids, an appendage that’s gone rogue and refusing to be the perfect accessory b.c “why else would people want kids”. If she ever fell in line (not the way he thinks he wants – he’d be mad at her for still being uncontrollable), he’d probably lose interest and treat her like he does Faz (not as controlling b.c usually indifferent). Faz is viewed as a vague annoyance (when he’s viewed at all), but does a lot of things Blaine wants and can be used b.c Faz is conditioned on top of predictable and attention starved, which I’m pretty sure is then repaid by more neglect.

  17. Agemegos

    Walky! Clap your left forearm to your chest, trapping Blaine’s hand with the hammer in it, and then half-pike sharply forwards. Pick your feet up, too, for extra. The hammer isn’t going to go off, and Captain Ball-Peen can’t cut your throat with it.

    1. Michael Haneline

      You really think Walky would know to do that?

    2. Reltzik

      Do you really think Walky’s strong enough to actually pin his forearm to his chest?

      Walky, who was apparently overpowered by Faz?

      1. Madock345

        On the one hand, Walky’s greatest achievement so far this comic has been eating 40 McNuggets in one sitting.

        On the other hand, we’ve seen him naked and he’s not in that bad of shape

        1. Agemegos

          I hate him with the white-hot intensity….

          At his age I could deadlift one end of a car¹. I finished third in the annual fitness test at my SLSC. But I looked like Raymond Burr.

          ¹ Sure, its was the rear end of a small front-whell-drive. But still….

      2. Needfuldoer

        Faz had the element of surprise on his side. I bet he was able to sneak up behind them and free Blaine’s hands, then Blaine overpowered Walky while Faz took the cape off his head.

  18. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    I have to admit that I am kind of impressed with Walky managing to stay calm here and just keep snarking. It’s obviously a defense mechanism and all but he’s handling this shockingly well! I’m almost proud of him.

    1. G97

      Plot twist! Walky was actually Spiderman the whole time! The quips were the giveaway!

      1. King Daniel

        [insert “Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man” meme, except it’s Walky and Sal]

      2. Reltzik

        He doesn’t talk to himself enough, though.

        Let’s see. Quips in the middle of a deadly and bloody fight, jokes about his sexuality, jokes about injuries people have suffered, lots of pop culture references…

        …. I think he’s Deadpool.

        1. Some1

          Eh Deadpool is just Spiderman but for annoying people.

          I just made a lot of people very angry.

        2. NelC

          Do you mean “for the purpose of annoying people” or “for people who are annoying”?

          Or both. Both is good.

        3. Some1

          I mean the second one, but both work.

        4. adam Black

          Nah, Spiderman is just the spiderman for annoying criminals.

          Deadpool is the spiderman for Annoying Peter Parker

        5. Strangeshapes

          Deadpool is in Wuuuuuuv with Spider-Man. I kinda ship it.

        6. Deanatay

          Spideypool OTP

  19. BBCC

    Oh dear.

  20. segnosaur

    Nobody seemed to mentioned Dina standing between/behind Joyce and Amber, and from the look of her eyes she looks… pissed.

    1. adam Black

      oh i see her.

      funny how no one notices her jump from place to place.
      like when shes behind faz next and tapes him up

      1. Bathymetheus

        They used up all the tape.

  21. abysswatcher1993

    Blaine is still delusional with his belief that Amber isn’t Amazi-Girl. Also, can Ethan or Dorothy do something? Blaine is a bloody mess and Faz is a weakling.

    1. Nono

      Pretty sure Sarah could solo them both.

      1. sharktrs

        I’m pretty sure she’s currently collapsed outside though

        The only other person who could come in to help right now, then, would be Dorothy, and I dunno how well she’s equipped to fight someone

        1. Nono

          Why would she be collapsed? That makes it sounds like she’s asleep or knocked out.

          Probably uh, not the best noun there.

    2. Regalli

      Ethan’s already left for the hospital; Dorothy and Sarah are outside and could help provided they can hear what’s going on INSIDE (and also the goons haven’t sprung back up out of the snow like daisies.)

      So um, how close is Bloomington to a major airport? Because that would GREATLY affect the probability of the house being soundproofed. Seems relevant at the moment.

      1. Ron again

        Sarah left for home, it’s just Commander Dorothy out there

        1. Strangeshapes

          I thought Dorothy told Sarah she could go home but Sarah decided to stick around, possibly for this exact scenario?

    3. DaveM

      Cue another hero in a red jumpsuit with a red mask leaping into the fray.
      “Release them and surrender! For I am” (dual wields femurs) “RUTHLESS!”

      1. HeySo

        Yes, but are they organic, fresh-harvested femurs?
        We have an image to maintain, after all.

  22. Some1

    This comment becomes super disturbing if you take five seconds to consider what taking a hammer to a 15-year-old would actually entail.

    1. King Daniel

      And when we had someone in the comic actually die from taking a hammer just a few strips ago.

  23. Van Jealous

    Not only has Faz “returned to relevance”, he’s just garnered himself an “Aiding and Abetting” charge (that is if anyone in authority, who happens to be honest and not in cahoots with Our Boy Blaine – now forever known as “MR. PEEN”) ever arrests these clowns (I guess we need to wait a a couple of weeks for that one).

    1. Regalli

      As has been pointed out, Faz does have a better defense than any other goon present – clear parental pressuring to put him IN this scheme, and given Blaine is both an abusive fuck and larger than Faz without accounting for the body armor and deadly weapon, Faz can’t really say no – but that depends ENTIRELY on how much Yuri can spend on a lawyer and how willing she is to throw Blaine under the bus in the process.

      Assuming, as ever, that Blaine doesn’t die in a holding cell under mysterious circumstances, but YOU KNOW.

    2. Geneseepaws

      Yeah, but still a mino,so likely in Juvie, and a STERN talking to.

      1. Geneseepaws

        But even as a minor, his smugness irritates. He’ll only be in Juvie until his Mom can sort things out.

        1. DaveM

          Can I just point out that unless the “Legendary Faz” persona is an elaborate facade, and that behind that is a reasonable human being with a smattering of self preservation that he can drop when not needed, then he… lets just say “wouldn’t do well” in Juvie?

        2. Geneseepaws

          @DaveM: I not only approve of your comment, cool icon/avatar/jpg, too.

  24. Regalli

    For the record, just assume every comment I make for the rest of this arc ends with ‘And also, fuck you, Blaine.’ It feels like a safe bet for more strips than not until this storyline’s over.

  25. Cinnamon Bunny

    Fuck, I love Walky.

  26. G97

    I’m disappointed in you Willis. Blaine’s “absolutely not” desperately needed an explanation mark to punctuate his denial. I’m willing to forgive this punctuation error if you have Blaine immediately slip on Toedad’s blood and knock himself unconscious by hitting a kitchen counter on the way down right as he tries to run away.

  27. Agemegos

    Much will be forgiven if Blaine is hit in the head with a skillet.

    1. Geneseepaws

      OMG: This!

  28. Rabid Rabbit

    So this is where Amber decides that the best way to deal with this is to blow Blaine’s mind by not fighting him, just turning back into herself so that he can’t deny it’s her, right?

  29. Bagge

    GET YOURSELF A BETTER ROLE-MODEL, FAZ!

    1. RacingTurtle

      If KJ’s excellent hypothesis in yesterday’s comments is correct, Faz is participating in this because he wants Amber to come home. If Faz really is attached to Amber, she’d certainly make a better role model than Blaine

  30. Some1

    I feel like if Faz ever commits a heel-face turn, it will have to involve him frowning. It sounds weird, but Faz smiles literally all the time and I’m starting to think it might be a self-defense mechanism. Therefor Faz not smiling would represent his freedom from Blaine’s influence or something, kinda like a reverse Eri.

  31. Dean

    Returns? When was Fax relevant before?

    1. King Daniel

      Back in the ’80s, I hear.

    2. HeySo

      You’d be surprised how many (especially governmental) institutions still seem to want to insist on fax over e-mail. Had to do that just, uhm, maybe 4 years ago, still. Maybe that has finally fixed but, given that we’re talking bureaucracy, not going to count on it.

      Well, you did ask about relevancy, not utility. 😛

      1. Regalli

        Also useful for things like lawyers requesting documents of hospitals and the like that need a written signature. I think some courts still allow filings by fax as well.

  32. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Blaine still refusing to believe the obvious. It’s like a reverse Vader & Luke scenario.

  33. Moon

    hspjhsl

    1. King Daniel

      Translating this through rot19 gives us the name “Alicale”. What could this possibly mean?

  34. Ron again

    Anyone notice how Walky has lost his good humour? Hope he’s not completely broken. It does look like he may grow up a bit after this.

    1. Newllend(henryvolt)

      Still seems to be cracking jokes.

      1. DaveM

        Yeah, that’s a defence mechanism. “See me, I’m so funny, so silly, so helpless, so not challenging your dominance”. I wonder how long it’ll take before Sal realises that their parents damaged him even more than they damaged her.

        1. Regalli

          I think next storyline (where we’ve seen preview panels showing Linda) is a contender. If not then it’s likely to be simmering there for a while yet. But if Sal DOES get involved here, she’s likely to get a good view of Walky’s humor coping mechanism as well with it CLEARLY being what’s going on, and she’s perceptive enough to make that leap.

        2. Schpoonman

          I wouldn’t say Walky is more damaged (he didn’t watch his best friend be maimed and then brushed under the rug), but I eagerly await someone telling Linda to go fuck herself.

        3. Regalli

          Yeah, I’d say they’re both deeply screwed up in distinctly different ways, but Sal knowing (even if she still hopes, after everything, things will be different) that she really shouldn’t trust Linda or her judgment does help a bit on that particular front. Sal does not give a single solitary shit what Linda thinks she should major in, and frankly I don’t think Linda has anything approaching Expectations for Sal’s future.

          Please, let someone tell Linda to go fuck herself.

  35. NinjaNick

    That’s not Amber’s dad, he’s an evil monster with a bloody hammer.

    Dina looks like she’s ready for attack. I hope she kicks Faz to the next state.

  36. Aprion

    Faz needs the mother of all ass kickings, delivered post haste.

  37. GUIGUI

    Amber the platypus? How did you get here?

  38. Miri

    I notice he’s so used to denying he’s Faz’s father that he doesn’t object to Amazigirl being his sister despite his adamant denial to being her father…

    Wait, I see a pattern here: does the Peen think he’s sterile? Does he think Amber isn’t his either?

    1. Miri

      Also, reverse Star Wars! “I have no child.” “Vader, I am your child.”

      Also also Vader looks like it should be a Germanic language word for father… Dutch maybe?

      1. King Daniel

        It is indeed the Dutch word for “father”. Though that’s almost certainly a coincidence, since Lucas didn’t originally intend for Darth Vader to be Luke’s father (that was only changed during the writing of Episode V).

    2. Nah

      To be fair, with what’s been said about Faz’s moms age by others, admitting to being Faz’s father means admitting to sleeping with a teenager, which is likely something he doesn’t want anyone having proof of.

  39. Coco

    Anyone else feel like this is foreshadowing Sal coming in to beat some ass too?

    1. Bagge

      Together with that piece of shit asher, yes, that’s what I think too.

      1. King Daniel

        If Sal knows the police are likely to be on their way, would she be coming? She seemed pretty intent on avoiding being “the black kid with a record” around the police on the scene of the last incident involving Toedead.

        1. Bagge

          Sure, that would be the smart thing.

          Sal repeatedly fails to do the smart thing when people threaten her friends.

        2. Regalli

          Especially given this involves WALKY being kidnapped as well. She’d do something risky if she genuinely thought Amber or Joyce was in danger (and they are,) because despite her jadedness Sal isn’t going to leave people behind if she can help it. But throwing Walky in the mix bumps that up an alarm level, too.

    2. Sombrero

      I feel more like this is foreshadowing of Linda Walkerton cutting Blaine up into little pieces and throwing him to feed her pet piranhas.

    3. NinjaNick

      I want Ruth, Carla, Marcie, and Billie there, too.

  40. JepMZ

    Why is Faz unFaz’d with the presence of a bloody hammer?

    1. Needfuldoer

      Only a death glare from Robin can break his smug expression, at least in the old continuity.

  41. ValdVin

    “Sooooo, Walky is there to inspire, quip, and keep spirits high?

    Give him a lute. He’s a bard.”

    –Me, almost two weeks ago.

    Are bards always this…disadvantaged in battle?

    1. Exarch

      Hey, it’s a support class

    2. anonymsly

      Depends on the edition and the player. Bards can be tough.

    3. Deanatay

      Danny: AWWWWW *sullenly hands Walky his uke*

    4. King Daniel

      Walky needs to take a level in Dashing Swordsman.

  42. Shadotterdan

    Is Faz aware that his dad’s last assistant is chilling downstairs?

  43. jufreire

    I’m glad at least Joyce and Amber had the same reaction to Fsz that everyone in the comment section had, yesterday

  44. thumb

    Blaine should really learn to listen

  45. FacelessDeviant

    So I’m thinkin maybe they get TWO dead dads instead of one soon?

    Sounds good to me.

    1. FacelessDeviant

      Jeez, I went too dark.

      1. Daniel M Ball

        no such thing suh, as too dark, so long as the light is worth the wait.

        1. Captain Oblivious

          ^^^^^ This. ^^^^^^
          100% and with both barrels.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Fuck it. Kill em both, and throw in a third one for free.

        1. Axel

          Who’s the third one?

          (I don’t have another dad suggestion offhand, but we could throw in Ruth’s grandpa)

      3. Regalli

        I mean it’s dark, but Blaine dying seems like the most surefire way to remove him from the strip so he can’t escalate things anymore. (And after murdering someone as a supervillain, we do not want to see him escalate.)

        Jail is also a possibility, but I don’t think his bosses are going to want him there where he can flip, and this unspeakably stupid plan has probably demonstrated he’s more trouble than he’s worth if he went free.

        1. FacelessDeviant

          I’m just not used to being okay with death for anyone.

        2. Axel

          Maybe killed by the korean mob in or before prison rather than right now? I can’t imagine that this is the first stupid, impulsive, and public shit he’s done, especially re bragging that he’s got plants everywhere.

        3. Regalli

          Yeah, I’m counting ‘erased by the mob because he’s a liability now’ as ‘dead by the end of/as a result of this storyline.’ Also the outside possibility that Yuri is the one to kill him.

          Both of which I vastly prefer to him dying before the hostages are firmly safe and not responsible for it, but there’s an outside possibilty because Willis feasts on our anguish.

    2. NinjaNick

      Add one stepchild to the mix, because everyone hates him.

  46. Rabisch

    Meanwhile, the feral Dina is hiding behind the bigger, but more exposed, two exemplar of Friends. Waiting for the best moment to attack her natural enemie. An example of Disturbing Faz.

  47. Deanatay

    Walky: Augh, yer gettin’ dead-guy blood in my hair, too!

    Blaine: That’s MY blood, you idiot!

    *Sarah whacks Blaine in the head with her bat, he falls*

    Sarah: Nah, he’s still got it right.

    *proceeds to wail on him*

  48. Captain Oblivious

    Apparently not..?

    Blind Blaine still can’t see his daughter?!? Her cape is gone, her voice is normal and she even has her cheek blushes! That mask really is Amazi-ng!

    1. Daibhid C

      It’s not the mask.

      Blaine CANNOT believe his daughter is Amazi-Girl. In his head, everything he’s done is justified (somehow) by who he thinks Amber is, and if that’s not who Amber is, then the whole structure of why he’s Totally Right collapses. So the more obvious it becomes, the more hysterically he denies it.

      I’ve a horrible feeling that learning about the split personality would actually come as a relief to him. “Oh, you’re not actually Amber, you’re just something she created to make up for how useless she is? Sure, that makes sense.”

    2. Regalli

      I think by now Blaine’s sheer Refusal To Believe Amber Could Ever Amount To Anything is letting him cognitive dissonance away an OVERWHELMING amount of evidence.

      Dude doesn’t really see Amber as a person to begin with (he called her a POTATO!), but his perception of her is still stuck at where it was when she was thirteen. And I don’t even think he acknowledges that her actions in the convenience store aftermath (not just the stabbing, but also getting the knife from the evidence and managing to stab Sal with multiple police officers there) are a sign she DOES have potential for violence, once cornered. And that his sending her to self-defense classes meant she was more likely to resort to violence as a trauma outlet. And also that he is a fuck and she hates him.

      It takes a LOT of ‘fuck reality’ energy to get punched in the face by your daughter, her to successfully bait you out of a room and set a hallway full of people against you while she runs because the safest way to handle this situation is for her to not be in this fight, and then COMPLETELY REJECT this as an outlier of her ‘humiliating’ you. But then, I can see Blaine’s resistance to Faz being his biological son also, perhaps, being him trying to deny reality through the sheer force of magical thinking, because he doesn’t want to be Actually Responsible for Faz in any way.

      See my previous comments re: Blaine, rusty chainsaw, intimate acquaintanceship.

    3. Shell

      Mask courtesy of the Clark Kent Glasses Collection.

    4. Sam

      Blaine doesn’t want to believe it is Amber so he can’t see it. He is in absolute denial. But also, people are not as observant as they would like to believe they are. Literally look at celebrities entering look-a-like contests. They *are* the person without disguising it and people don’t even recognise them as themselves. People are really damn bad at putting 2+2 together even when they reasonably should be able to, they get even worse when they don’t want to.

  49. bcb

    I bet if Amber takes off her mask right now Blaine will be so shocked that he’ll drop Walky.

    1. Shadotterdan

      Amber takes off the mask, taking the hammer from Ball Peen. She then ensures that the last thing he sees is her face as she brings the hammer down and makes sure he can never hurt anyone again.

  50. Opus the Poet

    It was at this point that Well Ackchually from the Mat Bors comic made an appearance.

    He’s very smart.

  51. Agemegos

    It occurs to me that if Blaine survives to be questioned by the police his vehement denial that Ambi-Girl is Amber will help to prevent the police and DA from prosecuting Amazi-Girl’s alleged crimes.

    I wonder whether there are any actual criminal complaints against Amazi-Girl for the police to act on, or whether all the men she’s beaten up have decided not to tell the police.

    1. King Daniel

      Well, vigilantism is a crime in and of itself. That alone’d be a reason why the police already have an interest in her.

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