243

Replicate
Posted on June 4, 2020 by David M Willis
Wack'd's Best Dumbing Of Age Character poll CONTINUES! The first column of the bottom right quadrant should go live today!  Roz V Billie!  Malaya V Dorothy!  Sarah V Marcie!  Rachel V Sal!  Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice!!!

243 thoughts on “Replicate”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    be gay doreport crimes

    1. butts

      “be gay do crimes” only applies to rad crimes, like arson

      not lame crimes, like kidnapping

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        In some states, it can also refer to sexy crimes. Like butt sex. At least until those old laws get repealed.

        1. Wizard

          Formal repeal would be nice, but at least they’re unenforceable.

        2. Chris Phoenix

          No, sex laws are not unenforceable. It wasn’t many years ago that, in a nasty divorce, a wife accused her husband of a consensual but illegal sex act – and he went to prison.

        3. SuperZero

          “I accuse you of the two of us doing something illegal together” sounds like a bad idea.

        4. Benjamin Geiger

          Where did this happen?

          In the US, Lawrence v. Texas pretty much prevents that.

        5. clif

          But that’s only since 2003. I guess it depends on what you mean by recent.

        6. Kaz

          “Enforceable” doesn’t mean it wont come up in court. It means you wont be arrested for just that. I personally refer to them as “leech laws” because they only exist by clinging onto others.

        7. SalleighG

          “Unenforceable” laws can still be charged and proceed through the court system. They can still land you in jail for the charging process, and you can still be assessed bail for them that is higher than you can afford, and if you cannot afford that bail then you can still end up in jail for extended periods awaiting trial. Getting yourself acquitted can still effectively require hiring a lawyer (because in some areas public defender funds have been slashed a lot).

          Furthermore, you can still be convicted of an offence that is on the books but which has been ruled against in the past, requiring that you appeal. You can lose the appeal too.

          You as a person living in the USA might know well that “morally speaking” your circumstances should be covered by Lawrence vs Texas, but that doesn’t stop an ambitious anti-lgbt state government from itching to make an example of someone and claim that Lawrence does not apply because “state’s rights” or claiming that Lawrence does not apply in all circumstances. Possibly even hoping that SCOTUS has been sufficiently stacked by now that Lawrence can be overturned. For example a state could decide that it was “reasonable” that sodomy should be illegal for anyone under the age at which alcohol is permitted, the idea that “for the safety of” the people and the public that some activities should be regulated until 21 or whatever age.

          A major case such as Lawrence does not prevent you from being charged with laws that are still on the books: it just means that IF you have enough time and financial resources to take the case sufficiently high then you should win.

          Look at the Obergefell experiences: some states (with full internal political backing) claimed that the decision did not apply in their state, or that OK so maybe they had to permit marriage but they did not have to pay pensions in same-sex cases, and so on.

          Prosecutors love having unenforceable laws, because it gives them *leverage*. Poor people, minorities, trans people, can’t afford to fight the cases, so people plea bargain, accepting convictions for things that would surely *eventually* be dismissed. Including in states where the conviction will result in loss of voting rights: the “unenforceable” laws are absolutely being used as a tool for political repression.

          Why does this work in law? Because rulings such as Lawrence do not wipe laws off the books, they only provide a potential defense, and in law a court is entitled to hold a trial and hear evidence about what occurred and force the defence to prove that the circumstances are covered by the major ruling.

          And imagine if you are an undocumented person or a person who has applied for citizenship: if you live in a state with the “unenforceable” laws on the books, the police know well that the laws are an opportunity to throw you into the legal system that might even convict you but very likely will throw you out of the country. It is LEGAL in some states to prevent someone on bail from appearing at an administrative immigration hearing with the result of losing right of residence, even when it is known full well that the original charges are likely to result in a Not Guilty verdict. People that this happens to often lose their immigration appeals. It is not considered an irreparable harm because in theory the person can re-apply for immigration. Police know this. Undocumented people and immigrants know this. So it is more or less blackmail material, and is used that way.

        8. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

          Arson and arsein’

      2. Rose by Any Other Name

        In some states, it can also refer to sexy crimes. Like butt sex. At least until those old laws get repealed.

        1. Rose by Any Other Name

          … crap. Something went weird and posted my comment twice.

        2. He Who Abides

          It was worth it.

        3. adam Black

          sloppy seconds happenned

        4. Kaidah

          This is the greatest reply to an accidental double post ever. Well done, sir.

        5. Rose by Any Other Name

          Indeed.
          I always enjoy those, so I suppose all is well.

        6. Achallenger

          Maybe they wouldn’t still be on the books if they weren’t so repealing

      3. Hex Hornet

        Or eXtortion!
        “The ‘X’ makes is sound cool!”

        1. Hex Hornet

          *it*
          (dang faulty typing fingers!)

      4. Ivresse

        Arson isn’t a rad crime.

        The idiots burning 5g towers because they think they spread coronavirus for example, aren’t doing rad crimes.

        1. EvilMidnightLurker

          Burning Minneapolis police stations, now…

        2. Vabolo

          That’s hot

        3. Strangeshapes

          Burning down 5g towers takes away my internet, driving me out of my home seclusion, ironically increasing my likelihood of getting/spreading coronavirus …
          It’s a CONSPIRACY, man!

  2. OtterBoy1

    I’m just waiting for the truck that got Ruth in Roomies! and almost got Amber and co. that last time to come and fuck everyone’s shit up some more.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Man, Optimus Prime never should have had that one night stand with Christine, their offspring is nothing but trouble.

    2. chris2315

      Maybe if he really tries, Truck-kun can isekai them all away from this shitty situation.

      Man, I really wish Truck-kun would isekai me away from this shitty situation.

      1. Nejireon

        Yeah but then you’ll end up in Byston Well and you’ll have to become an Aura Battler. Do you really want to get involved in Drake Luft’s war?

        1. chris2315

          Does it… does it have to be that one? Can’t I just go to one of the chill ones where I can be a cute anime girl and go on fun adventures?

        2. Undrave

          Look, we all want to be cute anime girls, but you’re gonna have to go face the Demon King okay?

        3. Khyrin

          I’d consider fighting the Demon King to be a fair trade for being a Cute Animé Girl.

        4. drs

          That really depends on what genre you’re in!

        5. drs

          Or maybe on what kinks you bring to the genre.

        6. Strangeshapes

          what about a Cute Animé Girl who turns out to be a Demon King?

          … hey, we all have our kinks.

    3. clif

      Yeah, I’ve been waiting for the truck to appear ever since the chase started.

  3. butts

    don’t worry faz, amber’s already got enough danger fetish for one family

    1. Hex Hornet

      Maybe it RUNS in the family!
      THAT would be awesomely horrendous!
      … or Horrendously Awesome!

      1. Kali

        Amazingly Horrendous or Horrendously Amazing?

        Seemed like a missed opportunity, haha

  4. Giguioto

    Sal can hold a 16 year old flying at her with a single arm while STILL balancing on her motorcycle. Sal is stronk!

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Or Willis just abandoned any sense of realism because we all know deep down he wants to do silly scifi action antics again.

      1. DailyBrad

        God forbid.

      2. SuperZero

        The things is, “realism” has been, uh, different. Lately.

        1. Strangeshapes

          Funny how six months ago this story arc would have been ridiculously grim-dark. And then Reality took a look, laughed at Willis and said, “Hold my beer.”

      3. Wereg

        It’s been looking that way lately.

      4. Needfuldoer

        ‘Member when Sal caught Amazi-ber before she went splat on the grille of a Peterbilt?

        1. Giguioto

          I do, but she had Joyce to counter-balance

      5. Jhon

        Sal is Amazing!

      6. BigDogLittleCat

        Laws of physics have always been optional to Amazi-Girl. It appears her field of influence has spread. As has her impact on probability and need for suspension of disbelief.

        I hope there are no sharks in the neighborhood for the van to sail over.

        1. Chris

          Freshwater sharks can swim up the Ohio River into Indiana.

        2. Chris

          Broken link was supposed to go here: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/kidnapped/

  5. chris2315

    The Unholy Dad Alliance? Is that what we’re going with? I was hoping for a better acronym, like the Dastardly Alliance of Dads.

    1. Chris

      That name is precisely targeted at her dad, the Righteous Christian Man.

      1. Kamino Neko

        The Dads of EVIL. DEVIL.

    2. King Daniel

      The Dastardly Dad Duo.

      The DDD.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Nah, the Dastardly Dad Tandem, DDT. I kill ’em…

      2. Reltzik

        Oh, definitely DDD. Toedad and Blaine are/were such big boo- *vaudeville hook*

    3. Tobias

      My vote was “Evil League of Dads”, or maybe “Dadxis of Evil”.

      1. Deanatay

        I always went for ‘Coalition of Evil Dads’, because the acronym is COED, which describes their targets.

        1. Deanatay

          (And YES, I know ‘of’ isn’t usually part of an acronym, but it works better if it is in this case, so I’ve allowed it.)

  6. Kyrik Michalowski

    Nice catch Sal, also Blaine what the hell do you think you are doing? Swerving is not going to do anything but put you in more danger and likely cause a crash. What is he thinking?

    1. Hephaistos Fnord

      It’s classic zero-sum thinking. It hurts someone who is thwarting my plans, so it must be helping my plans.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        It’s scary to think how many people might think like that on a regular basis.

        1. Geneseepaws

          It’s scary to think how many Top level politicians think just like that.

        2. Chris

          We know that a certain man who currently lives in a white house believes that he hasn’t won unless someone else has lost.

        3. SuperZero

          Some stop three words in. “It hurts someone” is more than enough.

    2. tim gueguen

      Like many of us Blaine has seen years or decades of Hollywood action films. Unlike most of us Blaine seems to think he can duplicate those scenes in real live.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Clearly that mask of his is either affecting the blood flow to his brain or making him feel invulnerable and thus causing his logic to be at an all-time low.

        1. CrazyJ

          I mean if he was thinking he would have never tried bringing Joyce along with him on his escape. How many times has taking a photogenic white girl hostage worked out well for the kidnapper?

      2. Doctor_Who

        I mean, Sal’s doing so pretty well.

        Maybe this is like those Road Runner cartoons where the Coyote sees the Road Runner go through a tunnel painted on the wall, and then tries it himself. Splat.

        Sal and Amber have Action Hero Powers. Blaine just has General Dumbassery.

    3. EvilMidnightLurker

      I have been arguing lately that Blaine is startlingly irrational when it comes to the question of his ability to escape justice. I think escaping death may also be in there.

    4. thejeff

      I don’t know, it does put him more at risk, but the risk to others – like anyone at the back door to the van – is even greater. Seems reasonable to me, under the circumstances.

    5. deathjavu

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/03-when-it-crumbles/moment-2/

      He’s clearly acting on his own rage first and planning afterwards.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, that strip gives us a pretty clear idea of Blaine’s, uh, “planning”.

  7. Hex Hornet

    That stretch of road now needs a sign that says “Watch For Falling Faz”.

    1. Vabolo

      I can’t believe Sal managed to catch him in a single A press

  8. Sirksome

    So Blaine’s just okay with his own son potentially dying I guess? I mean he murdered a guy so nothing is out of question for him now I suppose.

    1. WikiDreamer

      I’m pretty sure Blaine dun give two shits for anyone who can’t help him. He’s always been quick to remind Faz of his status as stepfather.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Even though Blaine is probably his real father as well.

        1. He Who Abides

          No. At best, he’s a genetic donor. “Father” is a title that Blaine will never earn.

        2. Geneseepaws

          Hey! You can’t prove that!
          (Without a genetic sample)

        3. Chris

          I’m sure there’ll be enough of him left to get a sample.

        4. Reltzik

          Failing that, he left blood on AG’s cape.

    2. Regalli

      Well, just counting Faz, Blaine has:

      – Brought him along on a Torment Amber Outing, and then promptly abandoned him in her dorm room while he went about kidnapping random freshmen and getting in fights in parking lots. (First Appearance.)

      – Sent him on an espionage mission against Amber (Faz is Great.)

      – Brought him as an accomplice to a multiple-person kidnapping involving use of lethal force, which ended up including murder. (This current storyline.)

      And this is before we take into account the general given that Blaine is a shitty human being who doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and sees his kids only as tools and things to control. Yeah, no, this is sadly consistent.

      1. Bagge

        Plus whatever Faz was hinting at when he said that Blaine was …dissapointed.

        I was holding out for ToeDad for a long time, but I must admit it – Blaine is Worst Dad.

        1. Deanatay

          I think that was in reference to the ‘Faz is Great’ storyline, where Faz only brought him a thumb drive full of fanfics.

        2. Regalli

          Oh, yeah. I was counting onscreen actions but Faz being abused by Blaine is something I just consider a certainty.

    3. Reltzik

      Stepson. Or maybe not stepson, but Blaine insists stepson.

      And yes, it’s been established that Blaine cares very little about Faz.

    4. Shade

      He doesn’t give a shit about Amber except for the money her college costs him, so not really surprising he wouldn’t give a shit about his stepson.

    5. NotPiffany

      I wouldn’t call thinking Blaine’s strong suit. Keep in mind, though, that he can’t see what’s going on in the back of the van; he didn’t look behind him when the back door opened, he panicked when he saw the “door ajar” light.

  9. Screwball

    Is it just me, or is Sal getting pretty good at catching airborne Humans while still controlling her bike?
    Is that bike actually a Cybertronian? Helping control itself in this situation?

    Maybe I should have scanned a motorcycle…

    1. Axel

      for a realistic-ish answer, maybe weird skate (-board and roller-) tricks and stuff with Marcie etc?

      1. Axel

        *are why

        1. Foxhack

          Assuming Carla hasn’t tinkered with her bike on her own.

        2. a/snow/mous/e

          UltraBike?

        3. Opus the Poet

          It’s in the realm of possibility. In their universe.

    2. Geneseepaws

      Motorcycles become much more stable at higher speeds, due to the gyroscopic action of two wheels spinning like that. See: trying to ride a bicycle at the speed of a slow walk vs 10-15 mph.

    3. Keulen

      Sal’s definitely caught someone while controlling her bike at least once before.

      1. Meagan

        Looking back at that section, I realized that Joyce hitting Ross may have been the first time we had a red panel in the background.

      2. Needfuldoer

        This time she doesn’t have a passenger, and is trying to catch less mass.

      3. JessWitt

        Counterbalance is logically not going to work this time.

        1. Captain Oblivious

          No, but counter-rotational-inertia of motorcycle wheels is pretty huge. (as is the mass of the bike itself)

        2. Needfuldoer

          Yeah, 500 pounds of “I want to stay upright and moving forward” will probably just swerve a bit depending on how Sal pulls on the handlebar.

    4. davidbreslin101

      …now I want Willis to follow up his old Shattered Glass Ravage comics with “The Amazing Adventures of Arcee and Sal.”

      1. Strangeshapes

        +1 would subscribe to this comic.

  10. Nep

    You know what, Faz? Big mood.

    1. Madock345

      I’ve definitely had that thought before

      I just didn’t say it out loud

  11. Lumino

    I love it when the Alt Text displays that Willis just gives zero fucks for the laws of physics.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      –“heads break before laws of physics.” Dominion by Masamune Shirow.

    2. clif

      I’ve run into that kind of thinking my entire career. Though usually with reference to computers instead of motorcycles. Computers can’t do X because I.can’t think of a way for computers to do X.

      On the other hand the laws of physics may need a little tweeking for the force from the swerve to simultaneously pull Joyce to the left and Faz to the right.

      1. thejeff

        If Joyce grabbed the rail, they could both be being thrown to the right, it’s just that she’s holding on, so it’s only her feet.

        1. clif

          You’re probably right, tho going from from holding Faz over to where she could grab the rail is either precognition or a bit of a stretch.

  12. Mordecai

    If Sal doesn’t win the character poll, we’re doing something wrong.

    1. Mordecai

      (Friendly reminder that she’s also the reigning champion of the Hottest DOA Character polls, for whatever that’s worth?)

      1. Regalli

        I mean I have rarely been gayer than that last panel because nothing says confidence and Strong like catching a teenager one-handed while driving a motorcycle, so it is certainly a factor!

    2. clif

      f Carla doesn’t win the character poll, we’re doing something wrong.

      Fixed that for you.

      1. Mordecai

        The abundance of good or loved characters on the roster makes just looking at the bracket terrifying.

  13. Loki

    What is Becky trying to achieve by this long rant? She hasn’t even stated the name of her dad.

    Does she hope people doxx her and by extension her dad?

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      I suspect people will look up her first kidnapping and thus know who her dad is from the report. So she doesn’t need to state his name, just draw attention to what is going on and prevent Blaine from getting away with it.

    2. Regalli

      Becky’s name is pretty public knowledge, “That’s right, this is the second one” aside – Robin’s been VERY willing to use the Homeless Lesbian Teen Who Was Kidnapped By Her Father sob story for her campaign. Ross’s name is no question.

      The key one here is Amber’s name (specifically her last name, and I’m sure she’s going to bring up anything she could find about Blaine before this is through,) with anyone else’s being identifying but not super necessary.

      1. BBCC

        Also….Blaine’s now easily traceable as a kidnapper. So, uh, ….how’s that mob thing working out, Blaine?

        Yeah, this ends with him “committing suicide” in his cell, doesn’t it?

        1. Regalli

          If he doesn’t die on the scene. And that’s a fairly large ‘if’ in my mind.

      2. Strangeshapes

        Also she very clearly notes both that AG is being framed and that AG relayed information to her while Amber was back being kidnapped, making it clear they are two separate people in case Blaine’s friends in the police try to pin the kidnapping on AG.

  14. Confuzor

    Blaine just helped Robin get re-elected didn’t he?

    1. Opus the Poet

      [Cowboy Bebop]Seems that way[/Cowboy Bebop]

    2. Meagan

      Yep. And what effect will a freaky fundamentalist being part of the kidnapping team have on her future platform?

      Wait, never mind, he’s dead, he’s going to be spun as another victim and get sympathy.

  15. BigDogLittleCat

    Faz made a sex joke that was funny! I didn’t think that was possible.

    What is Blaine trying to do? I can only assume he saw Sal in the side mirror, because wildly swerving across the road isn’t going to shut the van door. Too bad he just killed the person who could have told him that driving like a maniac won’t save you from AG and Sal.

    Amber needs to beat the tar out of him, as Amber, while he knows it’s Amber so he can suffer the i dignity of being beaten up by his “worthless” daughter.

    1. timemonkey

      He likely assumes Joyce is trying to escape so he swerves to smash her against the side of the van and hurt/knock her out.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        One of the early airplane pilots was transporting a lion that got free, and survived by banking the plane continually to keep the lion off balance and seasick. Sorry, a quick web search didn’t find the story.

        1. davidbreslin101

          “I’ve had enough of this mother****ing lion puke on this mother****ing plane!”

        2. BigDogLittleCat

          And might slam the door shut.

      2. Needfuldoer

        You’d think stomping on the brakes first would be more effective.

        1. Chris

          It would be, but he’s panicking.

      3. BigDogLittleCat

        Which shows he’s an idiot. Swerving like this is more like to toss her out of the van. It you want her to stay in the van, slam the brakes. Throws her into the van and probably hurts her enough to keep her quiet.

    2. clif

      He didn’t see Sal in the side mirror (as far as we know). He saw the “door ajar” indicator and presumably thought Joyce was trying to escape.

  16. Chrissy

    Yeah, getting caught by Sal on a motorcycle does sound pretty dreamy… poor Faz is right, he will never be able to replicate this

    1. Chrissy

      Oh gosh perfect wrong avatar

  17. woobie

    When is a door not a door?

    When it’s a jar.

    1. Johnny Austin

      When it’s in love… (adore)

    2. BigDogLittleCat

      When I was very small I had a book of riddles that included this one.
      I hated it because it made no damn sense.
      Note to authors and editors of children’s riddles: “ajar” is not in most 4 yo’s vocabularies.

    3. Strangeshapes

      I learned that one during the riddle game on the train in the Wastelands, one of Stephen King’s Dark Tower books.

  18. Rikunda

    Faz is going to have such a complex fetish. He will never get an erection.

    1. Tobias

      So complex he’ll need a whole new set of charts. Van ejection trajectories, motorcycle brands, the works.

    2. Strangeshapes

      “Faz is going to have such a complex fetish. He will never get rid of his erection.”

      fixed that for you.

      1. He Who Abides

        Well, he can’t apologize for it . . .

  19. Icalasari

    That first panel is RIPE for becoming an exploitable meme

  20. woobie

    “J’et adore!”

    “Shut it yourself.”

    I’ll show myself out….

    1. Deanatay

      “Je t’adore” when you leave.

      1. NelC

        ^^^ Under-appreciated comment, as the kids say.

        1. woobie

          [facepalm]

  21. Kravis

    “I hope this situation does not become a fetish because it may prove difficult to replicate” shall be the name of Book 10.

  22. abysswatcher1993

    Blaine almost killed his so-I mean “step son”. Just admit you are horrible, Blaine!

    Also, with how extreme these situations get Willis should give up on realism and just add aliens back.

  23. PB

    … It’s weird when Faz is the most relatable character in a strip.

    1. SuperZero

      My feet have left the ground and I am tumbling erratically through the air with no ability to sense or influence what happens next.

    2. Strangeshapes

      I’ve felt that way for the last three months.

  24. Moon

    I laughed but I’m not happy about it

  25. Johnny Austin

    Doa book x: I hope this situation does not become a fetish as it may be difficult to replicate.

    1. poofdepoof

      I don’t usually like the titles, but I would like this one.
      Maybe that means it won’t actually be a title. Hmm.

    2. Keulen

      This may be the best one of all the potential book titles so far.

  26. Opus the Poet

    And you know that impact has got to cause Faz some internal injury.

    1. SuperZero

      Not really. They’re moving at similar speeds.

      1. abacuswizard

        I’d be more concerned about the off-center force of impact causing enough torque to destabilize the motorcycle’s motion.

        Hahaha, lookit me trying to apply physics to superheroes again.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Bikes going more than 8-ish MPH want to stay upright. The sudden, off-center application of weight might make the bike swerve a bit, kind of like counter-steering, but Sal should stay in control even without comic book physics.

          Thanks, gyroscopic forces!

        2. Chris

          I’d be more concerned about Sal’s ability to maintain a grip on that hundred pound load with one arm.

  27. DailyBrad

    Holy shit. Blaine just gets worse and worse.

    Also, I have to wonder if Ross is the first person he killed.

    Great catch, Sal, and Faz making a pretty solid joke. I think it helps that this one is a pretty inwardly targeted joke, and therefore less skeezy.

  28. SuperZero

    Sal that is a bad idea. I mean you did pull it off, but it was not a great idea.
    Also she is strong.

    1. clif

      She hasn’t.caught Amber yet.

      Actually I’m guessing Amber manages to hold on, but who knows. Other than patrons I mean.

      1. abacuswizard

        Looks to me like she’s got a sturdy grip on the SWWERRRRRVE sound effect.

        1. CianM1301

          One of Amazi-Girl’s lesser-discussed powers: medium awareness.

  29. FacelessDeviant

    Oh my, don’t we have a posh dashboard?

    Not “Door Open” or just a door with a red warning triangle. Nay, my liege, this door is AJAR!

    Laaa-tee-daa! 😛

    1. CrazyJ

      He probably also calls his car hole a garage.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Well, a Sprinter is made by Mercedes.  Be thankful it doesn’t read something like “Tür angelehnt”.

    3. Needfuldoer

      But the door’s a door, not a jar…

    4. clif

      I’ll admit that the Door Ajar indicator is fancy, but what is really impressive is the Faz Ejector button next to it.

      1. clif

        I mean, every car should have one standard.

  30. vlademir1

    How did I never notice the face Sal’s front fairing looks like before this?

    1. Geneseepaws

      Like it is sticking out its tongue at us?

    2. clif

      I kind of assumed it was a take off of some cartoon character logo I had never seen. Tons of cultural references fly over my head on account of being old.

  31. Some1

    I feel like Faz’s smile is somehow representative of his relationship with Blaine and when he stops smiling it will mean that Blaine no longer has emotional control over him.

  32. Wack'd

    “But Sal, you should never jump out of a moving vehicle! Why, I shouldn’t even be standing up!”
    “Just this once! You have my permission! Now jump!”

  33. Dean

    Last panel Faz is already wondering where he can source an inexpensive white van and motorcycle.

    1. NelC

      That’s the easy part. Hard is going to be finding a strong female protagonist who’ll catch him.

  34. Bagge

    at this point, I think Blaine is actively trying to one-up ToeDad as Worst Dad.

    “Oh? You climbed out of your car in trafic nearly getting a teenager killed… what if I sverve around to make sure anyone climbing in the back of the truck falls off…. INCLUDING MY SON WHO HAS SO FAR ONLY HELPED ME???”

    1. RedCat

      If we have to compare the two evils, he is definitely the worse one.

      1. Bagge

        He killed the competition with a hammer. Seems like a pretty solid way to determine worst dad to me.

        1. clif

          To be fair, when the only weapon you have is a hammer, every Toedad looks like a nail.

        2. Falcon

          When all you have is a hammer, every Dad looks like a toe.

  35. Bagge

    Nailed it, last panel Becky-tweet. Toedad was VERY afraid for what Becky would ackomplish. Rightfully so.

    and just think – in an alternate universe somewhere there is a Ross who would actually be proud of such an ackomplished daughter.

  36. BBCC

    God I love Sal.

    And Becky. And Joyce. And AG.

    I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR!

    1. clif

      Including Faz?

  37. BenRG

    This is the thing that I’ve noted for a while – Amber and Sal really do what it takes to be masked vigilantes.

    1. Puckish Rogue

      Only in this universe

    2. Sombrero

      Well, there is a running theme of Sal being at least as accomplished as Amber, explicitly refusing to do the superhero thing, but been continuously dragged to it, with some nice reverberations of previous universes: Sal is a natural, Amber had to made herself AG by hard training, Sal knows by personal experience that superhero life is shitty, etc.

  38. Meagan

    WHAT is up with Blaine’s face. It looks like he has a literal crack in his head. Or are we viewing him through a cracked windshield? Also is that supposed to be EXPOSED MUSCLE along his jaw? Because that is disgusting.

    1. SuperFroakie82

      The crack is just some strands of hair

    2. SuperZero

      His face wasn’t cut up, it was spattered with blood. Looks like he tried to wipe it off with his fingers and got only some of it.

  39. DaveM

    And a quite attractive girl just put her arm willingly around Faz, not to restrain him, but to protect him from harm.

    Oh, this is going to be Faz’s fetish all right. 🙂 🙂

  40. NinjaNick

    Amazing catch! Now let’s save Joyce from Blaine Bastard.

    1. BenRG

      I’m rather afraid that Joyce and Amber will need to save themselves. Things are probably about to get… critical and rather quickly.

  41. CJ

    If there is a goddess of physics, she is crying….

    1. BenRG

      Superheroes laugh at Newton’s Laws of Motion.

    2. SuperZero

      Sal has done this before, and this time she was set up for it.

      1. CJ

        Doesn’t change the fact, that the law of conservation of energy ….
        makes it necessary for the energy to go somewhere.

        1. BenRG

          Don’t forget that Sal’s bike is going at essentially the same speed as Blaine’s van. Because of that, Faz’s energy relative to Sal is probably quite low. The biggest risk would be him unbalancing her because of the energy moment being significantly inclined relative to the bike’s axis of motion but it looks like he came at her head-on to that.

        2. CJ

          Yeah, as long as they have been traveling in the same direction, this would have held true. Given that he came at her in a 90 degree angle or thereabouts, there is no way the bike could stay upright if conventional physics applied.
          Still looks cool.

        3. ensiform

          Talking about laws of physics when discussing superheroics in comics makes baby Stan Lee cry.

        4. Chris

          Inertia says that he and she are traveling at about the same speed in the same direction. He isn’t going sideways; he’s going forward while the van goes sideways. She needs some serious acceleration to catch him like this before he falls too far.

    3. Radar

      totally agree. She is displaying real life superpowers here. defying the laws of physics and human strength.

      1. Radar

        and I didn’t even see Amber defying all laws of physics and human abilities by jumping off a moving bike, forward over all of them. Just wow!

        1. CJ

          She has light speed ?.

    4. Alan in DC

      There IS a goddess of Physics, and right now she’s saying, “Ehh, just this once. Sweet move, sister!”

  42. RedCat

    That fuck would’ve killed his kid if not for Sal.

  43. Pocky

    gay saves the day

  44. DarkoNeko

    what’s WRT, again ?

    1. Needfuldoer

      ‘With Reference To’, I think.

      Or sometimes it’s ‘Wireless RouTer’ but probably not in this context.

    2. clif

      With respect to.

  45. bemisawa

    Blaine’s face is the most perfect a-HURR moment… such a sincere oh-crap moment, completely out of bravado, just taken by surprise in this moment, just scared out of his mind as he sees himself losing more control. Wondering what his plan is here.

    1. deathjavu

      As we saw immediately after he hammered Ross and then wondered how to fix it out loud, there is no plan, just sociopathy.

  46. Puckish Rogue

    I’d say Ambers a gonna but I’m sure she managed to hold on with one hand

  47. Eric

    What would actually happen.

    1. thejeff

      To paraphase the alt-text, “He can’t do that on a motorcycle.”

      That obviously wasn’t Sal driving.

  48. Rabisch

    It’s nice to see that even in this terrible situation Faz has stil the strength to do funny jokes.

  49. Jhon

    All for Max Drama!

    ( and now faz will be hanging on to sal as hard as he can fetish )

    1. Needfuldoer

      “The great Faz is elated to be in the embrace of a woman he is not related to.”

      Disgusted, Sal slows down to “tuck and roll” speed, drops Faz, and catches back up with the van.

  50. Radar

    oooooh kay. Sal has literally gained super powers. Hey Willis, there’s a little something called ‘suspension of disbelief’ in writing. I am stumbling on the brink. Bring me back buddy – I trust you! (faithful reader – don’t ban me!)

    1. DSL

      Radar, ol’ cheese, that train left the station a long time ago, jumped the tracks on the curve and is now on a ballistic arc high above the gorge while DYW is shouting: “Shut up and help me fly this thing.”

    2. Needfuldoer

      What, just now?

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/truck/

      1. thejeff

        It all would have been perfectly realistic if she’d had a completely unskilled rider to “Counterbalance”.

  51. Barf Ninjason

    Oh, of the New Hampton Somelastnames?

    1. clif

      Hey, at least Ethan got mentioned. Our favorite future president in training didn’t even get that.

      1. Sombrero

        Never give Twitter mentions to your enemies for free.

  52. OBBWG

    This strip has gone too far. I cannot suspend my disbelief any further. The interior door handle in panels one and three is on the wrong side of the door!

    1. Sombrero

      That’s not the door handle. It’s the head of a tiny alien. God listens to abysswatcher1993 prayers.

  53. Twitcher

    All of this really makes me wonder what exactly it was that Willis’s mom did to make Willis estranged from her. Was it this bad, or almost this bad? Did she sell out her church to the Mob? Did she have children kidnapped and sent to reeducation camps? Did she harass, harangue and abuse Willis’s LGBTQ friends and family? Should I just shut up because I have seen/am going to see literally everything she did laid out in painstaking detail in this very comic? I guess what I’m saying is, is the denouement of Dumbing Of Age going to be Joyce at her mother’s bedside, saying, “You did your best?”

    1. Regalli

      Think more Carol in that case, but every horrifying “wait people think this” anecdote of things like “Joyce and Becky aren’t allowed to watch Disney movies that encourage questioning adult figures” is taken from life, and the Bring Back Roomies commentary pages talk a LOT about the fundie deprogramming Willis went through.

      Ross is basically the worst case scenario for the Abusive Controlling Fundamentalist Father – conversion therapy camps are still very much a thing, and the threat is always “can do so with force if you make me”, but not drawn from life to my knowledge.

      Blaine is a fucking mobster who has, possibly by coincidence and reading Far Too Much Into This but possibly intentionally, worked as a metaphor for the Christian right’s alliance with Trump this storyline, and also kind of the antichrist but see previous. (And given Willis has tweeted the Joyce vs Toedad “you’re allying yourself with a fucking mobster, do you really think you have the moral high ground?”/”God will deliver” strip recently when alluding to Trump, it’s definitely not COMPLETELY crazy at this point.) So um, completely outlandish but at the same time, metaphorically not more outlandish than reality.

  54. Lunias

    All y’all are talking about how unlikely it is that Sal can catch Faz like that moving at this high speed, but since both vehicles are going the same-ish speed the issue wouldn’t be getting knocked off the bike, but maybe tipping over if she doesn’t counterbalance for all that extra weight like… Immediately.

    The more immediate problem, I think, is “Blaine just swerved like, a full 70° at high speeds in a van.”

  55. Leadsynth

    Has anyone made an “amber alert” joke yet

    1. Roborat

      Well, they have now.

    2. HeySo

      “Amber alert criteria: The child is 17 years old or younger; The child is at risk of serious injury or death; and. There’s enough descriptive information about the child, the captor, or the captor’s vehicle to issue an alert.”

      Well, Faz’d qualify for it. So I guess it’d be more of a Faz Alert. Which.. honestly, just sounds more like a warning to others than it does a request for assistance.

    3. Chris

      I think there was one when Amber went from defeated to determined at the start of her team-up with Sal.

  56. Roborat

    I know we are pretty much throwing the laws of physics out the window (door) here, but how is Amber managing to hang on up there, there is nothing to grab, and swerving an empty van that much would probably cause it to flip on it’s side.

    1. HeySo

      Amazi-Suction-Cups? Amazi-Grapple? I mean, we’ve seen both in the past, I think, so it wouldn’t even be a new introduction.

    2. Needfuldoer

      She’s hanging onto the giant “SWWERRRVE!!” that sprouted out of the top of the van.

  57. RedComet

    Maaaybe it’s a good thing for the gang that Amber’s dad didn’t actually see the tweets before accepting their threat level.

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