517

Reprioritize
Posted on June 1, 2017 by David M Willis

517 thoughts on “Reprioritize”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “and *I* see a fool who can start walking with TWO BLACK EYES”

    THE FUCK

    1. Opus the Poet

      I was thinking more like two broken legs.

      1. Kris

        That would be more like a fool crawls in the dark.

        1. djhash

          How about making him with TWO scars!!

      2. Doctor_Who

        Only two? I don’t care where you find them, break at least six legs on that asshole.

        1. desolation0

          I actually think one particular broken appendage might be enough.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Remove all the femurs!

        3. Mr. Bulbmin

          “. . . I will break every bone in your body, then take you into my home. I shall care for you, heal you, make sure you love me and consider me your greatest, most beloved friend . . . then, I shall break your every bone again, and abandon you on the roadside.

        4. thejeff

          “I’ll be with them asleep or dreaming
          I’ll be there when they wake up screaming
          At the hour of death I will nurse them
          To have a moment more to curse them”

          Pogues – Rake at the Gates of Hell

      3. Osaru Sensei

        This one agrees.

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      I’m sorry, did you just call batman a fool?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        If the cape fits…

      2. The Other Mike

        Batman doesn’t walk in the dark. He runs, he ziplines, he glides, he takes the Batmobile…

    3. Fart Captor

      Where he’s going, he won’t need eyes…

      1. OnyxIdol

        +1

      2. zoelogical

        you say that, but all i’m thinking of is The Pale Man.

        1. Fart Captor

          Well, Even Horizon came out like 20 years ago so GOD DAMN I’M OLD NOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

  2. AnvilPro

    Fuck you “Ryan”. Not just for being a date-rapist and planning to murder two girls, but for using stupid opening lines like that.

    1. C.T Phipps

      There’s some deep seated misogyny there–not that we didn’t know that but his reaction to this is to go after the people involved rather than go into hiding or distance himself.

      1. Dave

        “How dare they expose my shitty deeds, clearly they are the ones with a problem and not me.”

        1. Pablo360

          Also, “I can totally take them, it’s not like one of them is a vigilante who’s skilled in hand-to-hand combat or anything”

        2. Knuf Wons

          Ryan: *commits assault and battery* “You guys blow the things I do way out of proportion. I’m a nice Christian boy!”

        3. thejeff

          To be fair, he doesn’t know Amber’s Amazi-Girl.

        4. Rowen Morland

          We hope.

        5. Inspector Hound

          I dunno — he seems like the obsessive type, and may be the sort of person who could see through the disguise.

          I suspect he’s going after Dorothy, and viewing Amber as inconsequential. But Amber’s been figured out before.

    2. jeffepp

      I fear that they aren’t his first this day. We may be less one character, already.

      1. kevlulz

        Ooh, that’s dark. Kinda had the same thought while I was wondering what was in his hand

        1. Michael Chandra

          Nobody dies in DoA, right?

        2. jeffepp

          Maybe, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t try. Last we saw of him, he was sneaking into that classroom.

        3. thejeff

          Phone in his hand, I assume. That’s what it was last time we saw him.

        4. begbert2

          I assumed it was a knife, because how goddamned stupid would he have to be to think that he could successfully murder two people simultaneously without some sort of weapon? I mean, sure he could try to strangle them, but he can’t exactly choke them both at the same time, leaving the other one to run or get help or roundhouse kick his head off.

    3. Reltzik

      Ecc. 2:14. New Living Translation.

      ….. goddammit, there’s a NEW translation for me to keep track of. Grrr.

      The verse can be taken a lot of ways. The obvious is “you were idiots to go walking around blind in the dark where I can see you”, and a lot of people will take a passage like that out of context just for the convenience of the easy reference to the immediate situation.

      But the larger context of the passage makes it a reference all your works coming to naught, the inevitable pointlessness of worldly accomplishments and virtues, or “no one’s going to miss you”. The wise have eyes to see this and the fools are blind to it, but the outcome is the same regardless. Super-extra creepy.

      … given that “Ryan” is, supposedly, a preacher’s son, and given that he’s had quite a bit of time to stew in hate over his exposure, and given that he’s a planner and preparer, I’m guessing he cooked this line up with an eye towards its larger Biblical context.

      1. butting

        Folk who attempt daterape and who get their bros to try to beat up anyone who challenge them really shouldn’t be quoting wisdom literature, yeah?

        1. Reltzik

          … well, I’m hesitant to say that they get to do ANYTHING, but I’ve got a low opinion of the Bible’s moral and/or wisdom content, so I’m conflicted.

          And in practical terms, the refuge in audacity has served them well in the past.

          .. nah, Ryan shouldn’t get to do anything except be neutralized as a threat to anyone.

        2. Minotaur

          You mean neutered?

        3. Reltzik

          I think he’d go on a revenge rampage if that was all that was done to him, so, no.

        4. Temperaryobsessor

          I prefer the term eunified.

        5. zoelogical

          ecclesiastes is kind of depression wisdom literature but sure

      2. Kamino Neko

        I’m not sure 20 years still counts as ‘new’ even for bible translations…

        1. Reltzik

          Of course it’s new! It says so right in its name!

        2. Pablo360

          So does the NIV.

      3. Reltzik

        ….. you know, I just realized. The context of this part of the chapter is about finding humility and recognizing that all the power you have wielded is irrelevant.

        …. I’m worried that “Ryan” is going to come at this from the “I want to beg forgiveness” angle.

        …. and I’m worried that Joyce will fall for it.

      4. Tgape

        My experience with preachers who have sons like this: they don’t view the bible as a story. They view it as a collection of phrases to use, helpfully numbered for easy reference. Larger context? Only significant if it’s part of one of the big stories. And then, only important for telling that story.

        Thus, you get preachers who claim that Jesus was against women preachers, because one of the early letters was written to a church who kept their women ignorant deliberately, and suggested that the women who had been deliberately kept ignorant should not be teaching. And stuff like that.

        1. Halpful

          Darmok, at Tanagra! 😉

    4. Twirls

      Amen to that

    5. OnyxIdol

      I don’t think he’s planning murder, “just” intimidation.

      1. Reltzik

        Yeah, he’s not after Dorothy. Or Amber. He wants Joyce. And maybe Amazi-Girl and Sal, but mostly Joyce.

        1. zoelogical

          well i mean maybe he wanted only joyce, but that was before amazi-girl beat him up.

          he probably has a hit list now

        2. Reltzik

          Except he was blaming Amazi-Girl coming after him on Joyce. Amazi-Girl didn’t distract him from Joyce. It refocused him.

          Being exposed? That’s on Joyce too.

          I’m reading this as he sees Dorothy as a way of finding where Joyce lives.

          Amber is just… a bystander. He’s looking directly at Dorothy. Ignoring Amber completely.

        3. Kole

          why wouldn’t he be after Amber or Dorothy? They exposed him lol. Clearly he has a low opinion of women in general for him to be a rape happy piece of scum in the first place.

        4. zoelogical

          i mostly meant, like, before they exposed him

          but i’m not sure that dorothy’s name was that attached to the story going around? although it doesn’t make sense that he’s following her now if it wasn’t. idk. that was something that got pretty heavily debated.

          amber. i dunno. i don’t know if the connection between amazi-girl and amber has come together for him. but this might be a slightly more realistic bend on the narrative in that people who’ve seen both amber and amazi-girl recognize them as the same body whereas if you’ve only ever seen amber or amazi-girl that shoe’s not gonna drop

        5. thejeff

          The only person so far who’s just recognized Amber as Amazi-Girl without specific clues is Dina. (And she might well have had such clues – or just been standing behind the door when Amber changed._ The only one with known clues is Dorothy.
          No one else, including people who’ve known both, has done so.

          It would be a major shift if Ryan were just to glance at Amber and know.

        6. Reltzik

          Well, to be fair, Danny figured it out with clues.

          …. pretty BIG clues, but clues.

        7. zoelogical

          IDK like. i dunno! it does seem like he might know, but it might be an Red Herring. who knows.

        8. HMH

          I mean, he’s a preacher’s son. That pretty much guarantees he has to have a low opinion of women. Treating women as equals directly conflicts with the teachings of the Bible itself. Feminism is a sinner’s game by nature.

        9. HMH

          …you know, I’m definitely gonna regret this one. I should take better stock of how angry something makes me before I decide to post about it on the internet…

        10. Makkabee

          I think it’s fair to say that there are certain factions within the Christian community for whom your comment holds true. We shouldn’t overgeneralize — there are also factions that take the “peace and love” part of the message seriously, and some sects that have strong feminist credentials.

          I’d say you overgeneralized — something most of us, me certainly, have done from time to time — but your comment has a firm basis in fact.

        11. begbert2

          It’s fair to say that there’s enough stuff in the bible that you can construct darn near *any* narrative and find things in the bible that can be interpreted as supporting it with divine force. Starting with murder, rape, and unprovoked warfare, and proceeding from there.

        12. Reltzik

          @begbert2

          Now, let’s be fair. That cuts both ways. It’s POSSIBLE to justify feminism out of the Bible. I’ve seen people do it. You have to twist a lot of passages out of their original intent and context, and ignore other passages or dismiss them somehow, but it can be done.

          …. it isn’t done very often, or by a significant portion of Christianity, and from what I’ve seen in most of those cases it’s about justifying one’s own leanings rather than actually coming to a compassionate position BECAUSE the Bible “endorses” it.

          But it is, technically, possible to construct a positive narrative out of the Bible.

        13. Reltzik

          Okay, I’ve met a few preacher’s children who were pretty enlightened. Mostly children of liberal denominations, but a few of the high-church types as well. And I’ve heard stories of people who walk away from despicable things their preacher daddies teach them.

          ….. 95% of them, though? Yeah, they learn poison at their parents’ knees.

        14. Mr. Bulbmin

          One of the most tragic stories I have from experience (I knew the person, talked with them, and worked them through their issues) is of a good person, loving and forgiving, who held religion in their heart even until their unfortunate demise . . . even though said religion was the justification their “friends” and family had for abandoning them.

          I generally have a poor opinion of people in general, and those that prove me wrong are the exception, not the rule. Asshattery is not unique to any one group of humans- most of us are bad, a few are decent, and a puny smattering are legitimately good, and this is true in every religion, every race, every creed, every nationality, et cetera, et cetera.

        15. a snow ʍousɐ

          @bulbmin Well, that’s depresing.
          People have flaws and good points. Some people try to be good, some people don’t care. (And I suppose THAT can depend on context, and therein the line between “decents” and “asshats” gets smudged, because what external circumstances justifies different treatment?) There are also people who are pretty selfless just by their nature. And then there are people who willfully try to screw people over, the Marys of the world. Fuck them. Those are the people who elected Trump (along with the gullibles who just toe the party line and don’t question things).

        16. Eyebrow

          He seems to have a weapon in his right hand.

    6. Eldritch Gentleman

      It’s extra disgusting that he is quoting religious stuff. The sheer hypocrisy should give him an aneurysm… assuming he has a working brain.

      1. IllogicalBobcat

        “Nothing worse than a monster who thinks he’s right with god.”

    7. Jago

      Wait, murder? What did I miss?

    8. Lala

      I’m missing something. Who did he try to murder?

  3. General Tekno

    So he’s a fool then.

    1. Temperaryobsessor

      Pretty much.

  4. athan1214

    Bro’s got a knife…That’s going straight into his spleen. In fact, spleen stabbings for everyone! here here!

    1. Shiro

      Is it a knife? I don’t see a blade. Guess it could be folded, though.

    2. DinaWho

      So that’s what he’s holding? I couldn’t really figure it out – my guess was flashlight. (Would not surprise me too much if it was a weapon though)

    3. AnvilPro

      I would love if this is leading to a year-long series of strips where the punchline to every single one is that a different character gets stabbed in the spleen. It all takes place over one day in comic time and results in the college closing.

      1. Pablo360

        We’d run out of characters we actually WANT to be stabbed in the spleen in pretty short order.

        1. SillyGoose

          If they didn’t WANT to get stabbed in the spleen, why were they wearing that dress?

        2. Tgape

          It’s possible to be stabbed in the spleen and live. It’s even possible to be stabbed in the spleen multiple times and live.

    4. JetstreamGW

      Is it a knife? At first glace I thought it was a phone.

      You’d think he’d have the blade out if it was a knife?

      1. Halpful

        Probably one of those illegal springloaded ones. (At least, they’re illegal where I live)

        I hope those doors open easily. I hope they remember the doors exist. I hope there are people inside. Witnesses might scare him off? I hope?

        1. smashman42

          The way his hand is makes me think spring loaded knife rather than phone or flashlight.

        2. MoonLord

          I’m gonna play the odds and say it’s a flip knife

        3. Eldritch Gentleman

          What we Really need is Crocodile Dundee with his “That’s not a knife. This is a knife”

        4. begbert2

          I hope Dorothy gets inside. I hope Amber beats him unconscious – which is very possible given that Amber is Amazigirl with the limiters off.

    5. Vinny

      I was thinking he had a roll of quarters, or maybe it’s just a wienie…

      1. Viktoria

        Quarters are a better weapon, but he’s a white boy, we gravitate towards knives for some reason. Plus, knife is more angst for Amber, so that’s what it’s going to be.

        1. TheKelliestKelly

          Quarters are a better weapon? That surprises me. But yeah, it’s definitely a weenie though. He must be hungry from stalking Dorothy all day

        2. BLACKOUT

          Reinforcing a fist is better than making your fist pointy against people without fists that are also pointy, if one of them is skilled.

        3. Michael

          UGhhhhh…. No no no no! Holding a roll of quarters in your fist when you punch someone is nothing more than a good way to break your fingers.

          Though I would be greatly amused if he bought into that myth only to break his own fucking hand.

    6. Delicious Taffy

      Why do people keep saying it’s his knife? It’s his phone, like it’s been all day.

      1. Halpful

        It looks about an inch wide.

        Then again, maybe perspective is messing with us?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          He’s holding it with the screen facing upward, and the angle is just a little weird, since he’s coming up the stairs.

        2. HMH

          I’ve never seen a person threateningly hold a phone inside their upward-facing closed fist, with the thumb folded over it for support. Most phones nowadays wouldn’t even fit in your hand that way. But, that is precisely the way virtually anybody without some kind of specialist CQC training would brandish a knife, folded or otherwise.

      2. Shiro

        To be fair, there’s only a single other strip “today” where he’s holding his phone. It’s likely it’s his phone, but not 100% certain, and a knife also makes sense given the context.

      3. svata

        What was that?

    7. Whatevsman

      YOU GET A PUNCTURED SPLEEN! AND YOU GET A PUNCTURED SPLEEN! AND YOU GET A PUNCTURED SPLEEN!

      1. Adam

        You made me laugh.

      2. zoelogical

        oh nooooo i got a punctured appendix!!

    8. Reltzik

      …. so…. Amber goes on another knife-rampage, which we shall forever into the future be known as a man-spleening?

      1. zoelogical

        ok. ok ok ok. gdi that one got an AUDIBLE LAUGH out of me

        i cannot even deal

      2. XMS

        omg this is the best comment

      3. Vulcanodon

        Perfect. 😀

      4. itsaboo

        Amazing

  5. TrueVCU

    KILL HIM. KILL HIM NOW, WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE

  6. C.T Phipps

    This school is going to have so much liability….oh wait, no it’s not. The people involved were white dudes attacking women. Which I wish was an exaggeration but I’m remembering my days at Ohio U, Athens and the staggering number of violence reports I always thought were being taken care of. Ugh.

    1. StygianArcanum

      Going there now. Happy to report that only the president of the university has changed, nothing else has.

      1. C.T Phipps

        I remember a guy came into the library waving a gun when I was studying a computer and ended up getting tasered. I didn’t see it because I was listening to music at the computer. I saw the aftermath, though.

        School reaction? Like it was Tuesday.

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      White dudes attacking women?

      You seem to forget who Ryan is threatening here. He’ll be lucky if he lives.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Knives are Amazi-Girl’s weakness as they are a trigger.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Good thing he’s holding a phone, then.

        2. Thrabalen

          How do you figure? His hand is wrapped around the object. Is it the new iStick?

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Not everyone has a phone with a screen the size of a Nintendo DS.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Incidentally, I can replicate how his hand looks using a Nintendo DS.

        5. BLACKOUT

          I think they might be murderbeast mode trigger now.

      2. Hera

        I hope rage-mode Amber comes out to play, it would be a sight to behold. 🙂

        1. Aeron

          *Ryan goes after Dorothy, she pushes him away*

          Ryan: “ooh hooh, eee heeh, you’re a feisty one. I like that.”

          Amazi-girl, from off-screen: “Then you’re gonna love me…”

        2. smashman42

          The problem is if Amber goes full rage mode, she’ll probably maim/kill him and end up being the only one in trouble over it.

        3. Hera

          Not with that blade in his hand, it will fall under self defense.

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          Certainly at this point, given the situation and the angle on the thing in his hand, a good lawyer could probably make an argument for believing it was a weapon and their lives were in immediate danger, even if it is only a phone.

          –But if it is only a phone, given the way he’s holding it (screen up, like he’s been looking at it), I wonder if he’s been using it to track Amazi-Girl? In which case, he probably knows perfectly well that one of them is Amazi-Girl.

          Given how similar their looks are, though, unless he clearly remembers her hair colour, he might not be 100% positive which of them she is.

        5. thejeff

          That is the assumption, though since we first saw him out hunting using the phone near Leslie’s class, it doesn’t really make sense. I’d guess he’s targeting Dorothy somehow, though I’m not sure how.

          As for self-defense, neither of the girls will be using a weapon and since he’ll likely attack first, a pretty serious beating still falls under “self-defense”.

        6. Hera

          Either it’s a knife to kill or a phone to stalk, no one in their right mind would do anything to Amber, she has a free hand to act as far as I know the law.

        7. HMH

          Self-defense has pretty specific limits for how far it goes in most jurisdictions. Yes, the knife will have both of their prints on it, which would imply she somehow took it from him (though, realistically, a policeman or lawman may not even believe a woman Amber’s size could wrestle a knife away from a similarly-able man), but if she were to go into a fully-dissociated-from-reality blind rage and stab him 47 times in the face and chest while on top of him, she’s still going away to prison or psychiatric detention for a very long time.

        8. Hera

          She needs psychiatric help, so I fail to see the down side there.

          But if someone approaches you with something you believe to be a weapon in their hand quoting the bible, and you attacking first, in the middle of the night, it’s is self defense.

          No matter how sexist the cop may be, everyone is going to the station, everyone’s parents/guardians are getting called, and everyone should have a lawyer.

        9. Spencer

          Fuck off with that ableist bullshit.

        10. thejeff

          No one involved has legal guardians, parents or otherwise. Cops don’t call parents of legal adults – though it’s probably the best use of your phone call at that age. Definitely lawyers.

          And Spencer? She needs psychiatric help. Seriously. Preferably not court mandated as the result of assault charges, but she really needs it. That’s not ableist anymore than telling someone with a broken leg they need to see a doctor.

        11. Spencer

          “I hope she goes crazy and murders someone because then she’ll be thrown in the loony bin” is ableist bullshit.

        12. HMH

          There’s a big difference between “getting psychiatric help” and “being locked in a horrifying maximum security hell for the rest of your natural life, chemically sedated and freely abused by severely underpaid and under-trained employees, surrounded by violently mentally-ill criminals because you are also a violent mentally-ill criminal…”

        13. Halpful

          Let’s see if I can untangle this…

          Beyond what Hera actually said here, I think Spencer is hearing an echo of a bunch of hatmfully outdated notions about mental health that commenters have expressed the last few days.i can’t remember whether Hera was one of them before now.

          As for Hera’s comment, the misconception I see is that “psychiatric detention” is something helpful and not likely to be a hellhole of triggery horrors. Plus an implied assumption, maybe, that the mentally ill are in general unstable and ought to be locked up.

          Also, fuck autocorrect and this phone in particular.

        14. Spencer

          I’m sorry.

        15. Halpful

          eh, it gave me a chance to practice putting words to those feelings. 🙂 not something I can do when I’m the one full of feelings, yet.

    3. Hera

      Schools don’t want to get a bad reputation so they hide crap like this all the time, it has nothing to do with skin color.

      1. Sugarfat Blackman

        Oh, it has SOMETHING to do with skin color. Especially in Indiana. Race isn’t a solitary, deciding factor, but it’s definitely a factor.

        1. C.T Phipps

          In Ohio U, there was a big paper article about the school cracking down on a black student’s drug possession. Then there was a causal off-hand mention there was a rape in my apartment building and I couldn’t find anything about it in the papers. At times, I was grateful I was a complete loner who never interacted with anyone there.

      2. James

        It probably has at least a little to do with skin color.

        Unfortunately I have no actual sources immediately on-hand besides tired cynicism, but it’s got a pretty good track record about this shit so far.

      3. Shiro

        I mean schools are notoriously terrible about punishing rapists, but there is a reason all the Brock Allen Turner types you see in the news for ridiculously lenient sentences are white dudes.

    4. Jaime

      Okay. What the LITERAL F*CK? *RAGEFACE* I guess I had a lot of privilege at my colleges (Boston University, University of Massachusetts, and then the City University of New York Graduate Center) because NO ONE would have been allowed to get away with that shi!te.

      I currently teach at BMCC-CUNY and we have a “no tolerance” policy about ANY sexual harrassment. (A bunch of students at Baruch College, a CUNY school, are facing serious charges for the death of a fellow student who was non-sexually “hazed.”)

      I’m not trying to say my current school or my academic history is perfect, because of course they are NOT. However, it makes me feel stabby and also very sad to think that this kind of SH!TE goes on at private colleges. *RAGEFACE*

      1. BBCC

        Oh, be fair now, public ones too.

      2. Hera

        I spent one year at Concordia University-Texas (I’m from Europe), it was a hell hole, the entire place was filled with Ruths(Rage Ruth, not depressed Ruth) and Marys, and the guys where all Joes.

        On a weekly basis people got their asses kicked, especially the 2 trans girls. (MTF), though this one goth chick did try to kill her self, after which she got more or less kicked out. (She was strongly encouraged to leave)

        And that’s what i know about.

        I spent one year there before i got my ass home.
        It might be good now, but i seriously doubt it. (The school didn’t give a damn about any of us, or at least that’s how it seemed)

  7. Kernanator

    Says the guy literally walking in the dark.

  8. nobodybasically

    …he knows Amber’s Amazi-Girl, doesn’t he?

    Also, what’s he holding?

    1. Harvey Janus

      I think a pocket knife or balisong.

      1. James

        Could be some kind of recorder, if he’s hoping to incriminate them somehow. Provoking them without technically “threatening” anything or something, but that might be too subtle/smart for him.

        Also it would involve him taking another beating.

        1. HMH

          Okay, a recording device is the first thing I’ve seen suggested here that would actually make sense for him to have that isn’t a knife.

        2. Harvey Janus

          I mostly suggested the two I did because of the little black line through the middle of the shape.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      He is holding is cellular phone, just like he’s been doing all day.

    3. Temperaryobsessor

      I’m not sure. Dorothy mentioned the need to stop reporting on her earlier but she wasn’t mentioned by name in this conversation and I don’t know if he can two together or if he found Amazigirls real name on her phone.
      From this conversation Dorothy could be breaking up with Amber because Amber’s way too close to her mother and her insists that they go to all her mothers events together.

    4. Mom

      Could be a cloth with chloroform.

  9. Danni

    assbag!

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Yes! Put his ass in a bag!

  10. DailyBrad

    Ugh, what’s he holding there? I guess we’re going to find out.

    1. Kris

      It looks like a phone.

      1. Yumi

        I’d say knife, but I may be biased as someone who used to frequently carry a knife.

        1. Fart Captor

          It’s the same color as his phone when we saw it

        2. Delicious Taffy

          I can probably give you a good explanation for that.

        3. Kris

          I mean it could be a knife, it could also be a tiny brick, or a bar of soap, or a chalkboard eraser, or a thousand things we’ll debate over until tomorrow. Unless Willis of course does another cut. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Ethan.

        4. Mr Ak

          Probably sitting in the cafeteria, eating cereal

      2. Delicious Taffy

        It is absolutely his phone.

        1. Yumi

          Okay, but consider this: knife app

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Please. Those apps are nothing but malware vehicles.

  11. Kris

    I know he’s trying to be poetic or some shit but it didn’t work.

    1. Pigeon Pollyx

      i think he’s just quoting the bible or something. though i don’t see how any of it’s relevant.

      1. JessWitt

        Dumb dastard thinks he’s Jules Winnfield.

      2. Kris

        Probably just being a creepy asshole or using a quote from the bible as loose justification for whatever he has planned. Let’s hope it’s prostrating himself and begging for forgiveness as per his religion or whatever his deal is.

        1. huttj509

          I think he’s saying “you’re fools for walking alone at night.”

        2. butting

          Two of them.

          Alone.

          Yep, I can fully believe the little shit would think of any group of women, no matter how large, that isn’t accompanied by a man as “alone”.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          14 women out on the town. “Ryan” sees them.

          “Aha,” he mutters to himself, “They’re all alone. I have the advantage.”

          Smash cut to him in the hospital, missing a leg.

  12. Yumi

    Ah, yes. Anxiety over fictional characters, that’s what my night was missing.

  13. Joe Moose

    [drama button]

  14. Pigeon Pollyx

    and the dickholes won’t see when I knock them senseless. Hey riddle me this rye bread, which one are you gonna be in two seconds?

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      What did rye bread ever do to you?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        It got baked down to crunchy little chips with roasted garlic seasoning.
        Now I’m hungry.

  15. Stu

    So what’s he got in his hand?

    1. Hera

      His teeth in about 5 seconds!

    2. Delicious Taffy

      It’s his phone.

      1. Stu

        Nope – turned out it was a knife.

  16. Shiro

    Ooooh, well played, Amber. Now have Amazi-Girl kick him in the fucking head.

    (The alt text got a bitter laugh out of me cause when I went to Florida to help my brother move into his dorm, I had a panic attack because apparently there’s some kind of dominant gene pattern down there that means like a third of the dudes in the school look like the dude who raped me. Meaningless personal tmi yay.)

    1. Shiro

      Also, does Amber’s shirt say “Your princess is in another castle”?

      1. BBCC

        Yep!

      2. Eldritch Gentleman

        His teeth will be in another state.

  17. Grethelwveir

    Dorothy, contact the police! Amber, this is an appropriate time to get angry!

    1. StClair

      That’s her secret: she’s always angry.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Would be hella funny if it wasn’t so sad…

  18. Fart Captor

    Oh hey it’s a big heap of bruises and broken teeth!

    I mean, not yet…

  19. Hellespont

    Ohhhh, villain reveal contrasting with some very attractive Amber art.

    1. Hellespont

      In between those very mixed reactions. We are all sure this is the same guy that assaulted Joyce, right?

      1. Shiro

        We are pretty fucking sure, yes. Note the scar and tag.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Maybe this is a different guy, though. I mean, we’ve seen tons of guys who look just like him, when Joyce was out walking on her own.

        2. Hellespont

          And if he is, who is the not Ryan that worked for Robin?

        3. Delicious Taffy

          One of the other identical men that only Joyce can see.

        4. Hellespont

          Who said the guy that the Aides thought Robin was talking about looks anything like him?

        5. Hellespont

          There is a reveal coming here. Just not sure what it is yet.

        6. missilentmurmur

          Maybe he is doing this The Prestige-like, his bro got an identical scar for him

        7. Shiro

          …this is the sarcasm, yes?

        8. Delicious Taffy

          Yes.

        9. Hellespont

          Of course it is, that is why it is so easy to ignore.

        10. Hellespont

          Basically, if this is Ryan and there is a not Ryan working for Robin who is also considered, by his superiors, likely to be a sexual predator. How many more are their likely to be? That fight and rescue seemed very well organised.

        11. Shiro

          Even if the Ryan from early on has, say, an identical twin or something, it seems unlikely he’d have an identical scar. Like, I suppose it’s possible, but it seems more likely there’s just some name shenanigans going on.

        12. thejeff

          Far more likely it’s the same Ryan, but somebody has the name wrong.

  20. Beter

    Need to give this conga the old left right goodnight

  21. Rosicrucian

    …leading with a pretentious quote won’t make you seem less like a villain to the student journalist there.

    Or the girl who wants to beat you up before leaving you gift-wrapped for the police.

  22. CoffeeBurps

    That looks like a butterfly knife. Literally the least threatening knife that exists.

    By the time he’s got the blade out, they’ll either be inside with witnesses or they’ll already have him on the ground.

    Never threaten someone [with a butterfly knife]. They look cool. But looking cool means its useless as a weapon

    1. C.T Phipps

      Ryan is not a deep thinker of consequences, which is both to his advantage and deterrent. His plan has gone from being a rapist shit to a murdering shit despite the fact this will immediately point back to him.

      Mind you, Ryan isn’t his real name.

      1. Cephalo the Pod

        lRyan is not a deep thinker of consequences”

        He’s forward-thinking enough to have his getaway ride call him by a pseudonym.

        1. BBCC

          Assuming he didn’t give Robin’s campaign a fake name or that he doesn’t go by a surname of something.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      It’s his phone.

      1. Guerisso

        Your stamina to explain it’s his phone is pretty impressive. That said, what if his phone is a uber rare custom model that also sports a springing knife? Wouldn’t make sense for him to threaten two girls with a normal phone.

        1. missilentmurmur

          Yep, if it isnt a weapon, no use for it to occupy one of his hands in a carefully planned entrance

        2. SeanR

          “I have already punched in the phone number/text message. All I have to do now is hit the off-hook/send button.”

          Knife is still possible, but yeah, you can threaten someone with a phone.

  23. Mr. Random

    … All 3 of them were walking in the dark.

    1. AgentKeen

      Ryan, you were literally hiding in the dark, you idiot.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        He wasn’t hiding, he was dancin’.

  24. Cattleprod

    Make his face symmetrical.

    1. Pat

      They’re gonna cure his scar!?

      1. Opus the Poet

        They’re gonna give his scar a “friend”.

  25. TimeLoss

    He has a got a knife, which may be the single biggest trigger for Amber. I have no idea how this is going to end.

    Also I joked about Mary posturing for evil cred in a past strip’s comments but I am well aware of far greater evils, like Ryan.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      It’s his phone.

      1. a4lbi

        It was his sled!

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      On the one hand, this really feels like the set-up for Dorothy to get kidnapped, as the final chapter of Book 7 will be spent looking for her along with “Ryan”. So Amber freezing up is plausible from a narrative standpoint.

      On the other hand, in universe evidence suggests that anything that reminds Amber of that One Day makes her more aggressive, not less. Unless it’s Sal herself.

  26. Passchendaele

    *reads tags before comic*

    SHIIIIIIIIII

    *reads comic*

    SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

  27. AgentKeen

    Fucker.

  28. DashingDeinonychus

    Wait, is Amber mentally capable of doing a beatdown as a civilian? I remember her dad, but that’s probably a good reason for her to want to de-escalate.

    1. Rosicrucian

      Amber is capable of starting a beatdown as a civilian.

      Amber is not capable of stopping a beatdown as a civilian.

      1. Temperaryobsessor

        So Ryan is attacking Amazigirl in her most dangerous form, which is also the form in which she will likely get the most sympathy from the police, innocent white girl with glasses. And Amber has a witness that Ryan attacked them first and she was just defending herself and her friend, and who can also take a close up of him now. Clearly this is a perfect plan on his part.

        1. SeanR

          http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MuggingTheMonster

          Warning. TVTropes is a time sink exceeded only by black holes and high fractional-c travel.

    2. thejeff

      Amazi-Girl is also capable of taking over (or being given control) without actually taking time to change into the costume.
      If she’s sufficiently triggered, Amber will probably stomp Ryan into the ground. If she’s not, she’ll let Amazi-Girl do it, with more finesse and control.

  29. Streben

    Get him Amber.

  30. Keulan

    He’s not just a rapist, he’s a fucking moron. Unless he’s got backup with him it’s two against one, and we already know Amber alone can kick his ass.

    1. C.T Phipps

      I’m of the mind that Sal is going to come to Amber and Dot’s rescue. I don’t think Dorothy has a violent bone in her body.

      1. James

        She might have some pepper spray though.

      2. tim gueguen

        Yeah, I suspect Sal is going to be involved in this somehow. Then again he may end up getting taken out by something else, like Becky imitating some trick she saw in a sitcom. Or Marcie and Malaya come along and give him the smackdown. After all we haven’t seen them for a while.

        1. BBCC

          And Malaya’s on the dumbingofage tumblr to show up in book 8! Plus she and Marcie walk home from roller derby this way.

        2. Roborat

          Or Joyce happens to wander by, spots Ryan and snaps. I could see her going ballistic on his ass.

      3. thejeff

        Unless he’s got backup or something, Amber won’t need rescuing. In a straight fight, even if that is a knife, he’s toast.

        If it is a knife, any fight shouldn’t last long enough for Sal to show up unless she’s already charging in. Either Amber will get cut bad enough to stop her or she’ll take it away and mess him up.

  31. Natsu

    FINALLY TIME TO BEAT HIS ASS!

    retribution!

  32. Some1

    The quote ends with: “but the same fate overtakes them both” I wonder if that will be important

    1. Absorbingman

      No, he just thinks that’s just a cold blooded thing to say before he pops a cap in someone’s ass.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        You can’t shoot people with a cell phone.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          “Life finds a way.”

          Especially if it’s one of those Samsung phones. /sarcasm

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Are you implying his phone is a Decepticon?

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          Nah, that would be a Nokia.

        4. SgtWadeyWilson

          No, I’m implying that one could MacGyver a projectile launching device out of a phone. Not that I think “Ryan” could… maybe Carla.

    2. TimeLoss

      Could be, I get the sense this will result in a major status-quo shakeup of some sort.

    3. BBCC

      Ryan’s not good with his scripture. Remember at the party when he said a given Bible verse was something about Jesus, but it was actually a warning about Satan?

      1. TheKelliestKelly

        Sent to him by his mother – she must have had a feeling

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/devil/

        1. Absorbingman

          Yeah, he’s kinda like the Riddler.

  33. mister gray

    make like arrow and snap his neck AMBER! Come on! Noone can learn your secret!

    1. Pat

      I’m almost certain arrows aren’t known for neck-snapping.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        The Arrow however… or was that the Hood. Maybe the Starling City Vigilante, but not that new Green fellow, he’s such a straight Arrow.

  34. achallenger

    i assume that’s just a fidgit spiner in his fist, nothing tooo nefarious of course

    1. Optimal Optimus

      Is he holding a yawara stick? It doesn’t look a knife.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        It’s his phone.

      2. Kamino Neko

        This is the most likely option, since the way he’s holding his hand (closed fist) is impossible for a phone and unlikely for a knife, especially one without the blade out that he’s planning to use. (If a stiletto type switchblade, he can’t get at the trigger, if a folding type blade, his hand is in the way.)

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      I dunno; my kid accidentally bashed herself in the head with her fidget spinner and apparently it hurt quite a bit.

      –Yeah, I know. My other kid got his lips stuck to a trampoline a couple winters ago. They’re actually quite intelligent; but not all the evidence supports that, ha ha.

  35. Tacos

    Yeah well you’re the moron walking in the dark. Though I’m sure you won’t be leaving on your own two feet.

  36. DJFlare84

    “Guys listen, I just wanted to explain myself. Look, I brought a snickers as a gesture of good will! See, I wasn’t tryin’a date-rape her… I was tryin’a indoctrinate her into my scientology cult, that’s all!”

  37. JessWitt

    *gasp* Call for help! Call the campus police — or maybe not I don’t know if they’re competent enough?

    1. Pat

      Well, they probably can’t teleport. That would probably be required for them to do much of anything.

  38. Proto

    I literally have no idea what that last panel is supposed to be. Like, I get that Ryan is threatening, but his line makes zero sense when none of them are in the dark, or at the least, he himself is the closest to the dark.

    I’d say it’s supposed to make Ryan look like a fool and it’s a punchline but this isn’t a punchline kind of strip and there’s nobody reacting, but it’s not like, a witty threat either, like a lot of comic villains use. what am i reading

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      I guess he could have gone with “You will know them by their works”, which probably isn’t 100% accurate to this scenario but could emphasize that he’s been listening in long enough to catch who Amber is.

      1. thejeff

        I don’t think even if he’d heard the whole conversation he would catch who Amber is. That’s partly why that whole bit yesterday was so oblique.

        The only thing that’s even a bit of a clue is the shift in pronoun and that’s more confusing than anything.

    2. Tacos

      It sounds like he’s trying to say something to sound cool but like the dumb ass that he is, he doesn’t realize he just unintentionally called himself a fool.

  39. Roger Sterling

    Now that guy is just begging to be made a statistic out of.

    1. Fart Captor

      That or a fine red mist

  40. zoelogical

    was he….hiding in a trashcan

    wtf

    1. a4lbi

      Obligatory “well, he is trash” joke.

      1. zoelogical

        I KNOW

        but like. u know who else lives in a trashcan. Oscar the Grouch. Millennials.

        all of our property values just went down by like a bajillion

    2. zoelogical

      ok i think i thought the stair railing was a trashcan lid but just realized it was a stair railing

      that was confusing lmao

  41. AkerSama

    I imagine Ryan could’ve easily recorded their conversation and exposed Amber as Amazi-Girl. But nah, that’s for sane people, let’s attempt murder instead.

    1. C.T Phipps

      He doesn’t go to school there. He could have gotten away if he’d left. To which, for once, I’m grateful for evil urge to violence.

      1. Fart Captor

        We don’t actually know he isn’t a student do we? It’s a big enough campus

    2. brasca1

      The conversation doesn’t prove anything conclusive. Amazi-Girl’s name is never mentioned so from an outside observer Dorothy could be interviewing her about the kidnapping of Becky or the recent scuffle at the DeSanto rally.

      1. AkerSama

        Nothing conclusive until they were interrupted. If they went on for a while longer without noticing Ryan (might I add, he’d be probably be hiding instead of walking right up to them in that context) far more incriminating pieces of dialogue could’ve cropped up.

    3. ValdVin

      Does the conversation they had mention AG or point to it closely enough? Much of it seemed pretty oblique.

      Also not sure if Ryan has been close enough to the to heat it all.

      But I figure he know Dorothy’s writings on AG, of course.

  42. WikiDreamer

    Oh…it’s about to go DOWN! Kick his arse Dorothy! Just be mindful of the switch blade in his hands.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      That’s his phone.

  43. C.T Phipps

    I think what he’s saying is he’s wise because he knows where he’s going and they’re in the dark. However, he’s not Jules and can’t get away with turning Bible quotes into murder quotes (which many are, anyway).

    1. Mr D

      Yo CT, let’s talk bout something less dark. What do you think about the failings of the Jedi philosophy?

      1. C.T Phipps

        I generally go with Taoist interpretation or the fact that it is better to control ones’ anger than try to purge it. However, one should always beware these emotions as allowing hatred (which I define as unthinking permanent anger) into your life can dominate one’s thoughts to the exclusion of all other thinking. Consume you it will.

        1. Mr D

          My problem with the Jedi philosophy is that, well, it is about indoctrinating children. And denying emotion, the very thing that makes us human. Or sentient, rather. I prefer the Gray Jedi, allow yourself to feel, but without allowing your emotions to control you.

          Hell, in between the Jedi tendency to deny and purge all emotion [And thus fall to the dark side at the slightest push] and the Sith philosophy’s tendency to go full hitler… I dunno.

          I’m listening to this video about jedi/sith philosohpy and Kreia and it leads to several interestig thoughts, check it out.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z0S0Z8lUTg

          [Also: Bad idea to wtch this with a concussion, I had that idea and HOO boy that is a trip]

  44. Cody Connelly

    Great, not only is he a date-rapist, but he’s a pretentious one at that…

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      I mean, he was quoting the bible right before forcing himself on Joyce.

      1. Cephalo the Pod

        What I’m saying is that part’s been clear for a while now.

  45. Derek

    UM WHAT’S THAT THING IN RYAN’S HAND?? is it a fist of nickels??? this will I so bad so fast D:

    1. Delicious Taffy

      It’s his phone.

      1. Derek

        I am not entirely convinced of that

        1. inqntrol

          It must be a pocketknife, easy to carry and conceal.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          You know what else is easy to carry and conceal? A cellular phone.

        3. Derek

          so is a roll of coins

        4. ChessboardMan

          Also, Throat Lozenges.

  46. Cholma

    [music surges]
    “Amber . . . Dorothy . . . Ryan . . . ”
    “MORTAL KOMBAT!”

    1. chris73

      Ok so we’ve got a rapist about to threaten (probably) two young women so its pretty serious but damned if that call didn’t just make a whole of people look over at me when I snorted in laughter

      1. Cholma

        “Test. Your. Might.”
        [Ryan makes an obvious telegraphed knife slash at Dorothy]
        [Dorothy interrupts with a Roundhouse Kick, dazing Ryan]
        “FINISH HIM.”
        [Amber rips out Ryan’s spine]

  47. Irredentist

    Very strange situation, what is he planning here? If he wanted to attack them here and now, why would he wait until they are directly in front of the building entrance? I’m curious as to how this will play out.

    1. Arianod

      An eye for an eye? They’ve plastered his face all over the social media; now he takes a picture of them and spreads it out so every douchebago knows who to harass.

  48. Doom Shepherd

    This could be horrible or it could be hilarious. Willis will find a way to make it both.

    FWIW, I think the two of them can take him, based upon no data beyond my own experience with rage and a single fight in college.

    1. Reltzik

      FWIW, I think Amazi-Girl might take the reins. At which point “Ryan” is doomed.

      1. thejeff

        He’s probably better off if Amazi-Girl takes over. Amber’s the one with rage issues and the inability to stop.

        I mean, he gets beaten into the ground either way, but AG won’t keep stomping on his head afterwards.

  49. James

    So the smartest option here is probably to snap another, better photo of him and then book it into the relative safety of the dorm, then forward said photo to whoever started spreading the first one.

    That is not what’s likely to happen, at least not easily.

    1. Arianod

      Plot twist: it happens.
      I mean, it’d be the biggest surprise for us, as we’re expecting BIG DRAMA, and the easiest thing for Dorothy and Amber to do (easier for Amber than changing into ‘her’ in front of people and without the suit) So why not make it happen.

  50. AutobotDen

    Amber, kick that fucker’s ass and ensure he never has kids. Dorothy, call the cops. And Sarah. …. Not in that order, mind you…

  51. Queen Anthai

    SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

  52. Saki

    Oh no oh no oh no what is that in his hand oh no

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Unless he’s planning to bludgeon them with his phone, the panic is not warranted. Why is everyone suddenly forgetting he’s had his phone in his hand all day?

      1. miz

        Maybe because he’s literally only shown up twice “today”, and in only one of those two comics was he clearly shown holding his phone? “All day” doesn’t really mean anything in this case, lol…

        1. Delicious Taffy

          But it’s clearly visible in his hand…

        2. miz

          Not in *this* strip, though. I’m just saying it’s only shown up clearly that one time, which was several weeks ago, and it wasn’t the focus of the strip. It’s totally reasonable for people to forget the small detail of “he has a brown phone” when all you can see here is a small brownish vaguely rectangular object.

        3. TheKelliestKelly

          I figured that was a switch blade. You don’t really hold a phone like that

        4. Delicious Taffy

          He’s just holding it with the screen facing upward, and the angle is making it look odd.

        5. Michael Chandra

          No, he’s holding a rectangular object of which we cannot accurately estimate its width so might be a square width instead of a rectangular one, and cannot properly gauge the colour of due to it being in the shadows, while he’s making a threatening remark while up against 2 people in his lonesome. It might be a rectangular shape thus not a switchblade, and it might be the colour of his phone yes, but it’s not as clear as you are making it sound by insisting it’s 100% certainly his phone.

        6. Delicious Taffy

          The doubt in today’s comments is real.

        7. Michael Chandra

          Better to recognize the situation isn’t clear than to blindly ridicule anyone you disagree with.

        8. Delicious Taffy

          This is very true.

    2. ChessboardMan

      Throat Lozenges. Or Pez. Hard to tell from this angle.

  53. brasca1

    Okay Amber now is not the time to compartmentalize. You need to channel Amazi-Girl and curb stomp this piece of shit and when you’re done you can feel like you redeemed yourself for what you didn’t do at the convenience store all those years ago.

  54. Smiling Cat

    Yeah, young man, this will not go well for you.

  55. Rukduk

    Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

  56. Beter

    Need to give him the old left right goodnight

    1. Arianod

      Put the boots to him -medium style!

      1. Smiling Cat

        I had to shatter both his arms and legs, officer. He had a knife and I feared for my life.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          That would probably actually work, since police officers aren’t exactly famous for being able to tell a weapon from, just as a random example, a cell phone.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          “I used the minimum amount of force necessary to restrain him.”

          Had that bit of advice directly from an RCMP officer…

        3. Smiling Cat

          My father (former police officer among other things) suggests you make sure to insist you feared for your life.

  57. Whatevsman

    Ooooooh crap baskets

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Oh, you say that, too.

  58. BBCC

    Okay, Amber

    Step one – Get Dorothy inside. She’s not a fighter (physically) and needs to get to safety. Tell her to tell the desk person to call 911. And tell her to get Sal, just in case you’re not able to hold him off.

    Step Three – Kick his ass.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      What about Step Two?

      1. BBCC

        Frigging typos.

      2. Cephalo the Pod

        1. Warn everyone
        2. ??????????????
        3. ASSKICKING

    2. Fart Captor

      Step Four – kick the rest of him

  59. Reltzik

    Alt-text: But Florida’s too sane to want him.

    1. Valerie

      That’s saying something!

  60. TamiDOA

    The way Willis loves a unexpected twist, I’m betting we’ve ALL guessed wrong about what’s coming next!

    Or would he do a twist on a twist on twist and do EXACTLY we’re thinking?

    My head hurts.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Has Willis ever actually written something that surprised everybody (or even just most people).

    2. Tarmaniel

      He’s probably just going to threaten them and leave, there’s not enough strips left in this storyline for there to be an extended fight and an aftermath.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        It’s not an extended fight if Ross shows up through a time hole and blows “Ryan” away with his shitgun.

      2. BBCC

        And the next storyline never picks up on where the story before left off! Like at the rally where we last saw this piece of shit.

    3. Reltzik

      I guess that’s what’s coming next, either tomorrow or after one or two more days of buildup, are pictures of Dina and Becky cuddling in bed and a notice that the chapter has ended.

    4. zoelogical

      the twist is that we’re all going to be drunk by the time next strip hits

  61. Tristin taylor

    Oh shit!!!kick his ass!! Don’t let him speak! Just kkock him out!

  62. newllend(henryvolt)

    Son of a bongo finally shows himself

  63. Joya

    This whole chapter is just going to be a whole lot of “Why?”

  64. Larkle

    I guess it wasn’t a good idea to talk about Amber being Amazi-girl in a public space.

  65. nlips

    Of course Amazi-Girl can handle him.

    But can she handle him without revealing her secret identity? After all, she’s not going to KILL him. How can she fight him without him blabbing about it afterward?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I mean, without the costume, what’s he got to go on? For all he knows, she’s just another short, white brunette.

      1. nlips

        A short, white brunette who kicks his ass with crazy martial arts.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Or she could just deck him in a few key spots and call it a night.

  66. Pic of Ice

    Given the way he’s holding it, and that the phone he had was a RED smart phone when we last saw him holding an identified phone,

    That’s a switch blade, baby. He’s planning for some payback for the “shame” that dorothy gave him with that photo upload.

    For the love of the spaghetti monster, let this fool be put down for good so that we can have some sort of closure, at least.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      It’s the same color as his phone, because it is his phone.

      1. Pic of Ice

        Phone was red, this looks grey.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/presidential/

        on the last two panels, see how its red, even on the sides?
        thinner horizontal-wise too.

        this object looks like a grey folded up butterfly knife.

  67. Bagge000

    “Can I interest you fine ladies in the words of our lord and savior? Only 9.99 for this fancy bible, now with 20% more stuff they cut out from early Christianity included.”

  68. Bagge

    “Can I interest you fine ladies in the words of our lord and savior? Only 9.99 for this fancy bible, now with 20% more stuff they cut out from early Christianity included.”

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Is he selling a Bible or shampoo?

      1. Bagge

        BIBLE SHAMPOO!!!!

        1. Reltzik

          Great for working fanatics up into a lather!

        2. McBogue

          Lather. Rinse. Repent.

  69. Twirls

    … Ryan you realize they can just go inside, right?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      He doesn’t realise rape is wrong, so the function of a door is probably beyond him.

    2. zoelogical

      i mean, depends on the security of the door. if it’s a keycard entrance, then it might take more work to get the keycard out and into the door than it would be to run. but if it’s just an open door, it might be real difficult to keep it closed from him. and opening the door means they have to be faster than he is in order to get it closed before he can get inside

      idk. logistics

  70. Arianod

    Not only do they walk in the dark, they get straight under AmaziGirl’s feet too.

  71. Owlmirror

    [trying again, comment disappeared]

    I’ve been trying to think why Ryan would have his phone in his hand the whole day, and the most plausible reason I can think of is, maybe he’s been tracking Amber/AG’s phone via Bluetooth. That is, he paired his phone with hers (theirs?) while he had them both together, and is looking for that signal.

    Of course, for that to work would mean that Amber keeps her Bluetooth on all the time, which seems unusual to me in one so tech-savvy.

    But I guess we’ll find out.

  72. Saaaam

    he’s on stairs. stairs are for pushing rapists down.

    1. Valerie

      Yes.

  73. OnyxIdol

    [Insert Jules Winfield’s variant of Ezekiel 25:17]

  74. OnyxIdol

    Question is, who is the fool here.

  75. miz

    honestly, he could be holding a rocket launcher and i still wouldn’t understand this dumbo’s plan. they’re RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. whatcha gonna do, ding dong? they could literally just knock on the glass and someone would probably see them.

    (which, of course means he probably has some actual diabolical scheme that we’ll never see coming, or something)

  76. Meep

    Motherfucker you are standing in front of a woman’s dorm room after having your face plastered all over and they’re the fools? And is that a switchblade he’s holding? This is what we call compounding the error.

    1. BBCC

      It’s a coed dorm, but still a bad idea.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        So, we’ve finally identified the item in “Ryan”‘s hand. He is holding a coed dorm. The situation is even more dire than it seemed.

        1. Sam

          +1 internet for you, that made me laugh.

  77. BBCC

    So what’re the odds Sal HAPPENS to be watching from the roof or she’s driving around on her bike and she’ll see this mess?

    1. TheKelliestKelly

      I misread this and thought you were supposing that Sal was watching from the roof WHILE driving her bike.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Let’s be honest, nobody would expect it, and it would be more realistic than Ruth’s demon teleportation.

        1. TheKelliestKelly

          And more fun!

  78. Hellespont

    Having the most awful day ever. I can hardly breathe and I am having trouble following even a webcomics story back.

    Screw this, I am going to the ER.

    1. BBCC

      I hope everything is okay!

    2. zoelogical

      -offers hugs and well wishes-

  79. NinjaNick

    Quick! Ninja kick Ryan in the balls.

  80. BenRG

    So. We are about to find out if Amber really can be Amazi-Girl when it is needed.

  81. Shariku

    Face punching powers, Activate!

  82. zoelogical

    on a side note i am really enjoying the way light and shadow are played with in the last panel like: dorothy and amber getting the most light, while ryan? gets most of his body in shadow. also his face is hooded so i mean u know u know

    good going

    1. zoelogical

      but like also everyone’s eyes are in shadow WHAT DOES IT MEAN

  83. Kole

    “you… do realize… you had to walk in the dark to follow me, right?”

  84. Dandi_Andi

    Ecclesiastes 2:14For the wise can see where they are going, but fools walk in the dark.” Yet I saw that the wise and the foolish share the same fate. 15 Both will die…

    Willis has used scripture with Ryan in a tricky way before. I do hope this is not foreshadowing something more sinister than expected.

    1. phildog

      Davis has said that no one would die in this comic, but he never said anything about them going to prison or being committed to a mental health facility.

      1. phildog

        Sorry, I thought I was posting a general reply, not a threaded reply. Your analysis of his use of the bible quote was spot on though.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      The fact that Ryan comes up with scripture may be meant to show that he *IS* actually a pastor’s son, as he claimed when he targeted Joyce.

      1. Jhon

        WoWillis is that, yes, he is.

  85. Zatar

    Oh fucking hell.

  86. SgtWadeyWilson

    I was hoping(more like wishing) “Ryan” had died off-panel by now…

    …and now he’s actually going out of his way to be a villain, like, legit spouting bile at a vigilante while they’re out of costume trying to intimidate them into giving up. I feel bad that this is gonna screw with Amber more either way, but I hope she gets to take down this amoral asshat. She could use a win.

  87. acher4

    ohnonono…

    what’s in his hand?

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Maybe it’s a knife? Perhaps a candy bar… who knows?
      *Shrugs sarcastically.*
      I’m sure Delicious Taffy can fill you in.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Why would you assume I have any idea what that is?

        1. Michael Chandra

          Because you have posted in 15 different subthreads in this thread your absolute statement on its identity. Why are you doubting the sixteenth time?_?

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          Because I started a sarcasm party and everybody was invited?

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Yeah, I’d have to be pretty ignorant to think nobody would see my apparently-15 other threads regarding the status of the object, before they saw this.

        4. Joe Covenant

          Sixteenth time’s the charm.

    2. ChessboardMan

      Throat Lozenges. He thought that Amazi-Girl could do with a couple.

  88. ADLegend21

    oh the next few strips better be him getting the ever loving piss beaten out of him……

  89. Nenja

    The strip didn’t load on my phone at first, so I read the tags … the strip seemed to load even slower after that. AAAAAh he’s here!

  90. Yakumo

    No, it’sa very foolish predator who, having followed them Iin the dark, waits until they are the very well lit doors that look like the main entrance (and I don’t know the campus, but c’mon, even if there somehow wasn’t anyone there, he couldn’t know that). This isn’t scanning very well even if he’s desperate.

  91. BenRG

    AMBER: “You will turn around, walk away and never come near Dorothy ever again.”

    RYAN: “If I refuse?”

    AMBER: “Then She will not be able to protect you from me.”

    1. StClair

      (he’d probably think that means Dorothy, but if not)

      “And who’s ‘She’?”

      “You like to claim piety. So: pray that you never find out.”

  92. DarkoNeko

    OH SHIT

  93. Bicycle Bill

    I find it an interesting coincidence that Ryan was wearing a sweater with two stripes on it when he roofied Joyce and now, as he accosts Amber and Dorothy, he is wearing a hoodie with two stripes on it.

  94. Emily

    RIP Ryan he will not be missed.

    1. JBento

      Indeed he won’t. All hits will be on target.

  95. abczyx

    So, this is the part of the Willis story where someone dies then.

    1. StClair

      “Hello. This is the part where she kills you.”

      Book 7-04: The Part Where She Kills Him

      Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where She Kills Him
      This is that part.

  96. AlexDenton

    The fuck? Is he high?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      He had a headache earlier, but got his aspirin and his roofies mixed up.

  97. Eldritch Gentleman

    Oh My Goodness XD He decided to show his face IN FRONT of Amazi Girl, without his douche-bros as backup XD Oh dear gods this is just precious XD

  98. L!ghtn!ng

    Oh fuck.

  99. Retrikaethan

    i haven’t belly laughed that hard in weeks. hah. i needed that. hopefully amazigirl knows how to handle people with knives.

    1. Hera

      Amazi-Girl uses brass knuckles.
      It’s super effective.

  100. XMS

    What color phone are people seeing? Because it sure doesn’t look red to me:

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/presidential/

    1. Michael Chandra

      To be fair, right now the thing is in the shadow. If we assume it is a red-brown originally, then this colour would be quite fitting when it’s in the shadow.

      1. Halpful

        To my eyes, it looked orange. … and so does the phone. hmm.

  101. Deviant

    The reality of this shit is about to go up to a 100% percent.

  102. Bluewind

    I wonder how the public will shift their feelings on him after this? Will his popularity go down or up? Could this effect Robin?

    I know this is an odd thing to think of after reading this comic, but I know whatever he tries to pull, they will be able to either defend themselves or outrun him. They are two strong women in great shape. Then again, he could try to explain himself to them or the like which won’t work but would be weird.

    1. BenRG

      A lot depends on how smart he is. If he’s smart, he’ll deliver a few unactionably vague threats and then walk away. If he’s dumb or over-confident, he may decide to ‘teach their place’ to Dorothy and Amber which could leave him in ICU if Amber is seriously triggered.

      1. Bluewind

        Still, him going up and vaguely threatening two women at night is enough to take a few points off his approval unless he shoots back with a denial on how these two students are trying to get attention by “ruining his good name”.

    2. JBento

      *A*ffect. *pets his peeve*

      1. Bluewind

        No problem. I have plenty of my own, but I still have trouble with a few such as dilemma right here. I end up thinking about it and inserting whichever sounds correct and cross my fingers.

        1. JBento

          I’m sure it doesn’t help that there’s two “effect”, one being a verb and the other a noun.

          Bonus muddling: when you affect something you cause an effect.

        2. Bluewind

          How about the next time I need to use it I just post dur… and have you rescue me? 😛

        3. JBento

          If it makes you feel better, apparently a Beverly Hills clinic just made the same mistake you did in a public notice FOUR TIMES, so you’re qualified for a high-paying job in the communications area. You go, Blue!

  103. BenRG

    I’m wondering if he’s going to try to justify himself to Dorothy and Amber. If he does, then my guess it will be a sorry mix of misogyny, gynophobia, crypto-fundamentalism and entitlement that will actually be both horrific and piteous at the same time.

    1. Shiro

      With a heavy sprinkling of evopsych too, no doubt

      1. JBento

        And economic anxiety.

  104. Vulcanodon

    Just before Dorothy arrived Amber was sitting there feeling devastated by Rachel’s comments. Damn Willis set it up so we don’t know what she’ll do now.

    Jules Winnfield can pull off quoting a bible verse before killing them, but Ryan, you’re no Jules Winnfield. You just look pretentious.

    ‘Ryan’ might be holding a knife, and he intends to slash their faces. (Amber, this is no time to freeze up.) Or it’s a phone, which he’s been using to track them (and he may know Amber is Amazi-Girl). In which case, it’s phone-stompin’ time.

  105. missilentmurmur

    Actually, this verse made me think that it could be a coded call for help from Ryan. He is the fool, walking in the dark and he looks for resources to come back to the light. I know it is not so, but it comforts me to think this.

  106. JasonAW3

    Oh boy… Looks like Amazi-girl might have to fight without her costume!

    I hate it when the bad guy goes all psycho and brings a flip out knife to a fight!

    As I said before, someone needs to eliminate this A-hole, messily and quick!

    1. Hera

      Middle part, this happens often to you?

  107. Shawn Levasseur

    Cue up the Wonder Woman theme from Batman v Superman.

    Business is about to pick up!

  108. Hampsterpig

    Hey, no! Florida doesn’t want him! We have enough wackos here!

    1. JBento

      Feed him to the gators and hope no-one charges you with animal abuse.

      1. Hera

        Or feed him to “Florida man”.

  109. JBento

    On the one hand, probably knife. On the other hand, if there’s ONE thing Amber/AG probably learnt how to handle are people with knives.

  110. Mechajin

    Ryan looks like he’s got a bit of a jojo pose going on there

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      The only thing in Jojo he deserves to be is that shitty vampire underling Dio had in his mansion in Part 3.

  111. Aprion

    Gonna make me some popcorn and watch this shit go down. Anyone else want some popcorn?

    1. Hera

      Sure, butter in the middle and on top, please and thank you! :3

      1. Aprion

        You got it 😉

  112. Guairdean Beatha

    Cell phone? Knife? Why not both? https://www.krudoknives.com/product/samsung-galaxy-s5-phone-case/

    1. JBento

      Outdated. The S7 has a built-in explosive device.

      1. Brotato

        You’re thinking of the NOTE 7.

  113. hof1991

    We just finished with a “there is no redemption” series. So it time for some redeption. Amber / AG redeems herself for letting Ryan get away. Dorothy redeems herself by having her decision to seek out Ryan work out. And Ryan will get his just reward. There is no way to convict for rape, but this is a straight up assault coming up. They are entitled to nearly leathal self-defense and he can be arrested for this. Put him to sleep AG, since chapters always end with someone going to sleep. Then let the police carry his unconscious body away.

    1. JBento

      A counterpoint in that neither Amber/AG nor Dorothy did anything that they need to redeem themselves from concerning Ryan.

      1. Temperaryobsessor

        While neither of them need redemption for that they might feel they need it. Amazigirl caused a distraction which gave him time to get away and didn’t defeat him last time, Dorothy didn’t insist on Joyce not coming with her. They in hindsight could have done something different that looks like it would have made things better. Sure we don’t know that it would have, and there actions were perfectly fine but thats not always how guilt works.

  114. pjeseb

    “…Well, that was melodramatic. Now then…”

    Unzips backpack. Pulls out an adult saltwater crocodile.

    “Androcles… BRING ME HIS HEART!!

  115. Valerie

    Okay, so regarding whatever Ryan is holding:

    Evidence that it is his cell phone:
    – same color
    – similar length

    Evidence that it is something else:
    – screen is not showing, even when you look close up (though that could be a detail that was too small for Willis to draw in)
    – why would he have his phone out? he has pockets, and the light from the phone could have given him away while following the ladies
    – his fingers are wrapped around the object in a fist; based on the last time we saw him holding his phone, it seems too big for that

    Basically I guess I can see both sides, slightly leaning toward “not phone.”

    Either way we’re probably gonna find out tonight or tomorrow.

    1. Valerie

      Also, my avatar is different between posting on my laptop and posting on my phone. Apparently my phone likes Josh/Jocelyn and my laptop likes Becky.

      1. Makkabee

        They both have good taste.

    2. Mom

      Or a cloth with chloroform

    3. ChessboardMan

      Throat Lozenges. They’re a peace offering for Amazi-Girl.

  116. Ryek Hvek

    {quietly adds soundtrack to final panel}

  117. Charles RB

    “HOW DARE YOU TELL EVERYONE I’M A CREEPY CREEP,” Will Announce Man Covered Up By Intimidating Clothes, Quoting Eerie Comments At Women From Sudden Appearance At Night

  118. Makkabee

    Please, let this end with rapist pate smeared over the sidewalk.

  119. Sarpiedon

    Why doesnt that tag say Ryan the Rapist?

  120. Joe Covenant

    Mary walks out of doorway…
    Her eyes meet Scarface’s…

    …

    1. BenRG

      “Sempai-sama, is that you?”

    2. JBento

      …aaaaand you’re putting a woman (shitty though she may be) in the hands of a rapist. Bad Covenant. Bad!

      1. Joe Covenant

        ‘m sorry… (contrite)

        (What if she’s a demon though?? Yeah!!! One of those demony-christiany types all the kids are talking about these days!?)

        I was thinking more along the lines of Bonnie and Clyde, though!
        …OF EVIL!

  121. ChessboardMan

    “Ah, He has devolved into only speaking in random bible quotes… Time to hit the ol’ interstate trail…”

    1. Scar Man!!!

      just what I was thinking

  122. White Rice

    Christ, this isn’t what I needed to wake up to today. Freakin’ Ryan (or whatever his name might actually be if the aids weren’t lying themselves) Can we get him to just go live under a bridge, harassing goats & leaving everyone else alone?

    1. Joe Covenant

      Hey!
      Whatchu got against goats!?

      >:(

      1. Knayt

        Probably nothing – harassing goats near bridges is an activity with a pretty bad track record for success (Asbjørnsen, 17)

        Asbjørnsen, Peter Christen. The Billy Goats Gruff. New York: Harcourt Brace, 1962. Print.

        1. White Rice

          Exactly, he’s so full of himself he’ll keep getting himself into various forms of trouble/harm via his goat messings.

  123. Varius

    Plot twist: Ryan manages to beat Amber (while she protects Dotty) and deliver his threatening soliloquy while destroying her phone.

    Sad.

    1. Mr.Morningstar

      Theres not really any point to destroying her phone at this point is there? His face is already on the internet

  124. Guairdean Beatha

    He’s so cute. He thinks he has the advantage over two helpless females out alone in the dark. He has no idea who Amber is, and no idea how violent Amber will become when she sees the knife. All he has is a fatally flawed plan and a security blanket in his right hand. His only hope for salvation might be one of his fellow frat-rats lurking somewhere as backup, but that plan will surely fail if his backup senses failure and jail time.

  125. Spencer

    Ryan’s back, Transformers Till All Are One cancelled. This days sucks.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Also Sense8.

      And the Pheonix Point gameplay vid is late.

      Shit tier day.

      1. JBento

        I love you forever for making me aware of Phoenix Point.

        Did you pledge? Never having dealt with that Fig thing, I have a question, if you don’t mind:

        If I back it at, say 30$, the pledge says I get a free Chaos Reborn Steam key – but if I actually CLICK it, it takes me to a menu that makes it seem that I don’t get that CR key, but it’s instead an extra I’d have to pay more for? I don’t get it.

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          It’s for an extra key, of either game, so you can share.

        2. JBento

          Ah, thanks. Wasn’t very clear – probably is buried somewhere either on the project or the Fig’s instructions, but I’m too excited to read stuff right now!

        3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Go for the Luxury Digital edition, it’s the best value – little early DLC and you get the art book and soundtrack – which is going to rock, as it’s by Broomhall, the original XCOM guy.

        4. JBento

          I was very tempted, mostly for the compendium, but I loathe reading things digitally – experience tells me I wouldn’t get any decent mileage out of it (it’s going to take me the weekend to read the short stories on the site alone). Even if they had a print version at the same level I probably still wouldn’t, because the shipping would be MURDER.

        5. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Ur loss, the fiction is pretty good.

        6. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Yes, I pledged. In the first week.

        7. JBento

          Joining you right now!

        8. JBento

          Huh. Rereading that question, it strikes as it could be taken as ridiculously intrusive, therefore, clarification of intent: I asked if you had pledged in the sense of “do you know how Fig works, because I have this question here.”

          …

          In retrospect, if I had asked “are you familiar with how Fig works” instead of what I actually did, I could have saved the possibility of intrusiveness. And this clarifying post. *cough*

  126. kirbiliusclausius

    One of my favorite superhero movie fights isn’t between superheroes. It’s Peter Parker vs. Harry Osborne in Spider-man 3.

    This looks very much the part.

  127. MutantSentry

    He attacks them, gets beat down, goes to jail, shares a cell with Toe-Dad and the Amazi-Girl Revenge Squad is born.

  128. Fire_daws

    Damn, I wish Amazi-girl is around. They might need help.

  129. a snow ʍousɐ

    Scrolling through the first section of comments, interesting to see the debate on whether the object in his hand is a knife or something innocent like a cell phone. Now you know how it feels like to be a cop, I guess :p

    @alt-text: He’s totally wearing a hoodie STAND YOUR GROUND GUYS

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      This is more sophisticated than a cop by far.

      They’re more like:

      Upper class wanker – phone, ignore and go about you bizness citizen.

      Anyone lower classes or, god forfend, non-white:

      “SHOOT THEM, IT’S A MACHETE!”

      1. JBento

        I feel this is much like Bush now that we’ve got Trump – we long for those times when black people had to have something in their hands for the cops to get away with shooting them, instead of them already being on the ground and subdued or walking away with their hands up and already tased.

        Guess that ‘economic anxiety’ thing is hitting the cops pretty bad.

  130. Delicious Taffy

    If the object in his hand is not a phone of some description, I will change my Gravatar to something humiliating and leave it that way for a week. Leave your suggestions below.

    1. JBento

      I dunno. It seems like an awkward way to hold a phone, and whatever it is is clearly bisected to boot.

      My vote goes for a knife of some description, establishing a parallel between “girl attacks my friend Ethan with a knife” and “guy attacks my friend Dorothy with a knife.” It should do wonders to give the A/AG duo’s mental health a bunch more kicks. On the other hand, if this does happen and Amber manages to save the day, this might help – if it was Sal’s attack event that gave rise to AG, Amber successfully handling a similar event could result in a “I don’t actually totally and completely suck after all.”
      It would also contrast with Rachel’s speech – if Amber DOES save Dorothy from the same situation that she didn’t save Ethan from, it’s pretty much an effective rebuttal.

      1. a snow ʍousɐ

        Maybe it’s a flip phone? xD

    2. JQuire

      Suggestion box:
      1) https://i.ytimg.com/vi/1NxyynwWd-8/maxresdefault.jpg
      2) Mary and Ross photoshopped into one another’s horrible embraces.
      3) A frame from an Adam4D strip.
      4) THE KNIFE.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Had to look up Adam4D. Why does everyone look like a mashup between Slender Man and a stereotypical old person?

        1. JQuire

          Because it’s a terrible, terrible comic that wants to be a conservative christian version of the Oatmeal.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          I like how they randomly decided atheists want Godzilla to just be named Zilla, because the original name is forcing religion down our throats.

        3. Fart Captor

          That’s especially insulting since that’s what Japan calls the American Godzilla from 1999

          Why would anyone want to be associated with that garbage lizard

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Honestly, do you expect someone who thinks atheists would riot over something like a giant lizard’s name, would know about something like that?

      2. egg

        I second THE KNIFE

        1. Delicious Taffy

          I just hope there’s a panel with a clear shot of this KNIFE, otherwise my Gravatar’s gonna be a jumbled mess.

        2. egg

          If it’s not a phone but also is not a knife we’re all going to look like fools (as is your gravatar)

    3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      I invoke Toxx clause.

      Hmmmm…. let’s see….

      http://orig06.deviantart.net/6c0c/f/2013/057/9/f/hurrse_jpg_by_eulogy_jones-d5wcfuv.jpg

      Yes. That will do.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        What’s a Toxx clause?

        1. JBento

          The Toxx Clause means either you do it or you get banned (I assume she meant it tongue-in-cheek, seeing as only Willis wields the banhammer) – the name comes from… an incident in the Something Awful forums concerning a poster by the name of, you guessed it, Clause. I mean, Toxx.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          So, basically, “Put up or shut up.”

        3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Incidentally, being properly gendered (well, ‘They’ is equally applicable) feels really fucking good right now.

        4. JBento

          I’m sorry, I’m working on little sleep and it’s 1am here, so my reading comprehension is way lower than it should be. Are you saying that I used the right pronoun, or the wrong one? I was under the impression that you were a woman – if I’m mistaken, I apologise.

        5. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          No, you have it right. Fucking feels good.

        6. JBento

          Oh, phew, no resetting the fuck-up clock just yet. Seeing as you added a “right now” qualifier up there, I hope everything’s okay on your end.

        7. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Dysphoria, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, the usual.

        8. Halpful

          *jedi hugs*

        9. Halpful

          ….with the comments about jedi today, suddenly that phrase seems… less appropriate.

          I like Cerberus’ “*appropriate gesture of support* but it’s a PITA to type out and anxiety gives me shit about even *considering* such a sensible option. maybe if I abbreviated it… AGOS? does that even?

        10. Fart Captor

          Holy crap that brings me back.

          Toxx was a poster on the Something Awful Forums, like 15 years ago.
          He posted a thread promising to duct tape his dick to his balls if it got enough replies or votes. It reached the stated goal, but he didn’t do it, so he was banned. (Though if he had done it and posted the pictures, he still would’ve been banned, for posting nude pics of himself)

          It really makes me wonder what kind of useful information could have been stored in that part of my brain all these years

        11. Delicious Taffy

          I feel like taping your junk and posting it online is a little more high-stakes than phonesplaining.

        12. a snow ʍousɐ

          well then…
          really a catch-22 there, lol

          (but then, who would make that kind of promise on an SFW site?)

  131. Sam

    Ohh no

  132. Brian

    Watch this latest development get no resolution either, as is frequently the case in this comic. Are we braced for another emotional roller-coaster?

  133. Jenny Islander

    blah blah self-justification blah blah clobber verses blah blah I’m a clean-cut whiet boy with a future, Judge blah blah

  134. motorfirebox

    This is either going to be really good, or really bad.

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