363

Reset button
Posted on March 20, 2013 by David M Willis

363 thoughts on “Reset button”

  1. Vivvav

    OH THANK GOD.
    I was tired of watching this charade.

    1. ASmellyOgre

      Now for the sweet sweet reveal.

      1. David Herbert

        There may or may not be punchings involved.

        1. Kafloobop

          I would be dissapointed if there weren’t.

        2. Skull025

          I’ve got the popcorn ready!

        3. Frostbite

          I got the red vines!

        4. MrSmiley

          If only Joyce doesn’t try to teach him to be strait…

        5. Cooledd

          I need a camera

        6. Andiemus

          One can only hope.

        7. turkishproverb

          ROCKETPUNCHES!

      2. Tom Speelman

        OH BOY…shall we expect Amber rage?

        1. kendermage72

          But, Amber only uses her powers for good… oh, wait,
          that’s Amazi-girl. Maybe Danny can call Amazi-girl to
          save Ethan from AmberHulk!) oh, wait,… never mind.

          RIP:Ethan’s dignity, spine, and reputation.

        2. Li

          You’re implying forcing Ethan back out of the closet before he hurts Joyce anymore is somehow NOT good?

    2. GoldStarz

      I have been waiting for this castle of lies to come under siege.

      1. Barf Ninjason

        Huh. Now I’ll have to seek out opportunities to use that turn of phrase… every single day for the rest of my life.

    3. Wack'd

      How does one mime heterosexuality?

      1. Omnithea

        Nacho cheese on all your food.

        1. rankplusfile

          Not quite accurate. I know one gay couple that eat like there is no mom watching – and they are both very fit – exercise, not diet (obviously). One of them told me this is fairly common.

      2. Sgore

        I try to avoid such hypothetical quagmires by sticking with Pictionary.

      3. Steven

        With your penis.

      4. tahrey

        Well, if the “best of” programme that the BBC ran last night is any example, by watching and copying Kenny Everett it would seem. For a deeply homosexual man he does appear to have a surprising penchant for breasts and short skirts on actual women – to the point of actually getting married.

        Alongside all the crossdressing and campness that is.

        Yet no-one realised until he actually came out, at the point of getting divorced.

        Come on, Ethan, you can do it … all in the best possible taste!

        1. tahrey

          * breasts, and for short skirts on …

          Commas are important kids. Oops! I mean, commas are important, kids.

        2. Notebooked

          Kenny Everett to Barry Cryer: “Oh, Baz. You’ve been married for thirty years, you’ve got four children…what a smokescreen!

        3. John

          No, “breasts on actual women” is a necessary qualifier, too.

          No one likes the moobs.

    4. teasugarsalt

      ALL OF THIS

      1. teasugarsalt

        Sweet. Amber and Amber approve of the smackdown Ethan’s about to get from Amber.

    5. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      “Like hitting a reset button” *Snicker* I have to confess that’s exactly the figure of speech I would use to describe this type of epiphany fail Ethan’s committing here.

    6. Noel Schornhorst

      Q! End this charade!

    7. Hinoron

      You can try hitting the Reset Button, Evan, but I think your corrupted last Save file is still going to give you problems. ^_^

  2. taekwondogirl

    oshiiiiiiiii

    1. Resne

      YOU DONE FUCKED UP GOOD, ETHAN.

    2. ArkhamTexan

      OH, motherFUC–!

    3. J42

      shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  3. Mr C

    DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

    1. BlueRam

      Can’t go to bed without linking THIS. http://www.dramabutton.com/

      1. Sean

        That link just put the silliest grin on my face.

        1. Jordan

          To be fair, pretty much any grin looks silly on Galasso.

      2. Doctor_Who

        Came to post this, thanks for doing it for me.

      3. Hawkwing

        We need to get this in tag form.

      4. Yes Son, I Am Space

        Equally appropriate:
        http://inception.davepedu.com/

      5. Sir Robin

        I’m thinking of Ethan’s point of view

        http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

  4. Jen Aside

    whoops

  5. JebJeb

    Oh shit. That’s a death glare that’d win gold in the dead glare Olympics.

    1. HK-A6A7

      Sorry, but she is will end up getting bronze:
      But still we don’t know who is first (and second)… Some people say that Mike and Roadblock keep staring each other to see who has the best death glare.

      Something tells me that we will never see the end of said staring contest.

      1. timemonkey

        Since when can Mike deathglare? Frowning and looking unpleasant is not a deathglare.

        1. Kelly

          Have you not seen the look he gave Roadblock?

        2. timemonkey

          When?

        3. Linkara

          Back in some of the early days of Shortpacked, when Ethan couldn’t sleep because of his GI Joe poster with Roadblock on it, they bring in Mike to stare it down. He brings the deathglare.

        4. timemonkey

          Ah, I remember that now. Thank you.

        5. RedScharron

          Here: http://www.shortpacked.com/2005/comic/book-1-brings-back-the-80s/07-body-massage-machine/a-67/

  6. jaredstar1

    anybody else hear ominous Latin chanting

    1. carl320

      http://youtu.be/FWiyKgeGWx0

      1. The E-man

        I just reread the comic with this playing in the background at the last panel and it was perfect!

  7. Wonder Wig

    *que the battle theme from Yu Yu Hakusho*

    1. Madock345

      Dammit, where’s the upvote button?

      1. jrgolden42

        GO BACK TO REDDIT!

        … I’ll see you in a few…

  8. Blob Marley

    Wait, why does Amber…

    Oh, yeah.

    OHHHH, yyyyyyyeah…

  9. SUGauthor

    Bout friken time!

  10. DanielleM

    YES. I like you Ethan but you deserve this. There is nothing okay about what you’ve been doing.

  11. John

    Okay, who didn’t see this coming?

    Anyone?

    1. SUGauthor

      I thought amazigirl would see them together, and then Amber would’ve had to get him to admit it on his own.

      1. Blob Marley

        But why would Dina tell Amber in the first place? I don’t get it?

        1. Yotomoe

          Obviousely because it’d be the first thing worth talking about since her trip to the lake.

        2. SUGauthor

          They’re roommates remember? Dina would casually mention Ethan and Joyce after seeing his picture on the wall.

        3. timemonkey

          Did Dina know about Ethan and Joyce before they started with the pizza?

        4. SUGauthor

          No, When they saw Dina next to them the first thing Joyce did was introduce them.

        5. TPman

          Maybe she met up with Amber in a bathroom and felt compelled to talk?

        6. Aydr

          More likely she was just there for pizza and saw them/heard the sound of Ethan being a dick.

        7. Leonou

          “The best solution is always the most complex”, therefore your needlessly simple explanation cannot be true.

        8. Aydr

          That is very true. Also, fuck, how did it not occur to me until now that MIKE KNEW EVERYTHING, so of course they aren’t there by chance. They’re there because Mike made it happen.

        9. Lukkai

          Oh, come on! That’s…

          …Actually a pretty reasonable assumption.

    2. Kernanator

      You mean aside from Ethan?

  12. Yotomoe

    NOW YOU’VE FUCKED UP. NOW YOU’VE FUCKED UP.

    1. arjay2813

      i was just telling a coworker about The Whitest Kids ‘U Know about 2 hours ago, hilarious connection is that i started by telling him about the very skit that comes from

      1. Blob Marley

        That’s a great sketch. I think that and Moon Bears are my two favorites.

    2. Shoeboxjeddy

      YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW, NOW YOU HAVE FUCKED UP!

      1. Joe

        YA DONE FUCKED UP
        YA DONE FUCKED UP
        YA DONE FUCKED UP

  13. The Sound Defense

    Amber sure knows how to cast a shadow over the land.

    1. Yotomoe

      Amber is also Apache Chief.

    2. Doxkid

      To be fair…she’s a pretty large woman.

      If she was someone’s mother in this universe you’ have to pay Mike two nickles to do her.

      1. Yotomoe

        She still only regesters a .08 on the Billingsworth scale.

      2. John

        Dude. The girl’s a close third place in the “hottest lady” poll, and without the benefits of having gotten topless on-panel, seduced her TA, or engaged in lesbian makeouts. And, tired joke-meme aside, she’s frickin’ Amazi-Girl. She can run with Billie on her shoulders, leap tall hedges in a single bound, scale walls on a rope, and kick jock ass. She may be heavy for her height, but that’s because muscle’s denser than fat. Probably the only soft weight on her is the Amazi-Rack.

        1. Roborat

          Amazi-Rack. I like it, I declare that this is now a thing.

  14. General Tekno

    Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…

    This will not end well.

  15. Queen Anthai

    THANK YOU. Tired of Ethan being a lying jerk.

    1. Khudkar

      Wouldn’t call Ethan a jerk. He’s just having trouble accepting who he is.

      1. Holypig

        Sorry, but you only get to play that card once, which he did with Amber.

        Source: imma gay

        1. Gordon

          Coming out doesn’t always take. Everyone’s different, and it’s not that simple.

          Source: Also a gay.

        2. Li

          Sure. But I think there’s a difference between saying what Ethan’s doing is understandable and saying it’s okay. I also think it’s made harder because — I’d say for most people…? — sexuality is more a continuum than a multiple-choice question. Accepting you’re attracted to people of the same sex is hard enough, accepting that you can also in rare cases be attracted to people of the opposite sex makes it worse.

          At least, that was what happened with me. “Bi” is way, way, WAY too strong; I’m like 90% gay. But that 10% had me wondering if I was “wrong” about myself for years.

          Short answer: you are never wrong about being attracted to who you are attracted to. The labeling just gets very sticky sometimes.

          Not that I think that’s what’s going on with Ethan, who seems 100% gay but certain he will never be happily married or normal unless he is married to a lady.

          Anyway. Ethan has a right to his confusion, even if it’s frustrating, but Joyce has a right to be upset when he comes clean. “You didn’t ask” will absolutely not be a valid excuse.

          Source: a mostly lesbian.

        3. Gordon

          I didn’t say Joyce didn’t get to be upset.

          I was just challenging the apparent idea that Ethan is being malicious.

          “A lying jerk.”

        4. Li

          I’m on the fence with *that* part of it, though. TBH, Willis hasn’t yet made it clear for me whether Ethan is:

          a) genuinely confused
          b) genuinely in denial
          c) neither, but genuinely convinced he will be happier if he fakes it

          So far, I can’t help reading him as C, which is why I have trouble empathizing, and why I can understand people saying he’s lying to Joyce on purpose.

          Basically: is Ethan using Joyce because he thinks marrying her will make him happy, without real regard for how she will feel? does he assume a sexless relationship is just what she wants, so his lack of attraction to her is perfect? I don’t feel like Willis has given us answers to these essential questions, but if yes? That’s pretty gross, even if it comes from a place of fear and insecurity.

        5. CC

          > I’m like 90% gay. But that 10% had me wondering if I was “wrong” about myself for years.

          Holy shit this is me, right here.

          Another mostly Lesbian here. c:

        6. Li

          /high-five!

          People want to be young forever but god would I never want to be under 25 again. So much confusion.

        7. Josh

          To be fair he did come out of the closet, then Mike talked him back into it. 😉

        8. That Damn Rat

          He talked himself back into it. He chose to interpret Mike’s sarcasm as support.

        9. Josh

          Mike isn’t sarcastic, he’s an evil genius.

        10. Lukkai

          Those are not really ruling each other out. He can easily be both. And at the same time. And quite often will be.

        11. Josh

          True, but that wasn’t the point I was making. Mike was deliberately manipulating him to cause this, not Ethan interpreting ‘Mike’s sarcasm as support.’

      2. Leorale

        Yeah, but he’s dragging Joyce into it, through their sham of a relationship. Not cool.

        1. Gordon

          Joyce is forcing the relationship just as much as Ethan.

          They just have drastically different reasons.

        2. Aegon01

          Yeah I don’t think Amber would be very angry if she knew just how ridiculous this relationship is.

        3. Aydr

          Nah, she’d still be pissed, and rightfully so. Just, you know, not all that sorry for Joyce.

        4. SUGauthor

          Joyce is forcing the relationship, but only because Ethan is leading her on. Joyce has had horrible luck this entire comic. She and Walky obviously aren’t ever going to happen, the first boy she met was Joe, the second boy she met tried to rape her, and she finally meets a nice boy and starts a relationship, and turns out he’s gay. I feel sorry for Joyce.

        5. Aydr

          I feel sorry for Joyce, but this relationship itself is so messed up for her part that I don’t feel as bad for her for what Ethan’s doing as I normally would.

        6. Josh

          I would actually say Joyce forced him into, that combined with Mike caused this.

        7. timemonkey

          Becausae Ethan doesn’t have the ability to choose or say ‘no’.

        8. Josh

          Ethan is a total pushover, it’s not in his character. 😉

      3. Gaiash

        This page however he’s lost that defense. Before you could argue “well he was avoiding saying anything” and that both he and Joyce wanted to be in a relationship so much they just let it happen. But here is cheerfully accepting the lie as a good thing for him and Joyce, he’s embracing it.

        Is Ethan a jerk in general? No. Is he being a jerk? Yes. His actions are that of a jerk, an otherwise lovely person can still be a jerk.

  16. lifefire

    GAME OVA MOFOZ! GAME OVA!

  17. Kelly

    ohshit!

  18. Count Dracula

    Amber got so scary there that Danny’s chin retreated up into his face.

  19. Sensedog

    Well, it may not be triggered by Mike, but this impending train wreck will be will be one hell of a spectacle regardless.

    Mike could very well be at a nearby table, quietly watching while enjoying his meal, possibly even waiting for the best moment at which to assert himself.

    1. HLY

      mike’s the one who cnvinced ethan to try dting girls again, and is possible he could have tipped amber off

      so we can’t write out the evil genius yet, now can we?

  20. Madock345

    Danny looks funny in the last panel. I’m not exactly sure what that facial expression is supposed to convey.

    1. Yotomoe

      “I’m sorry for the ass kicking you are about to recieve”

    2. Milosh

      “What’s going on? Who’s this guy?”

    3. Brian Lynch

      Polite, mild confusion. It’s pretty much Danny’s only expression.

      1. Yotomoe

        and emotion.

    4. Nerdman

      “Wait, so my ex is on double date opposite of your ex? Is everyone connected here?”

      1. Milosh

        Where’s Robin’s blackboard when you need it?

    5. Groove

      ‘Something interesting is happening and I’m involved?!?’

      The look is a mixture of shock and happiness.

  21. Yotomoe

    I’m guessing the next comic will be taking place in the hospital?

  22. Ragnal

    YES! YES! YES! YES!

    FINALLY! It feels like forever since this started, and it finally has an END.

  23. Deemah122

    Ethan RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN

  24. LS

    Anyone else find Danny’s completely blank stare hilarious when placed next to Amber’s righteous fury?

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    Amber uses HITLER CAM
    It is super intimidating.

    1. Khrene Cleaver

      ETHAN used Sweet Kiss!

      JOYCE is immobilized by love!

      A wild AMBER appeared!

      The wild AMBER’s intimidate made ETHAN’s dignity fall!

      The wild AMBER used Mean Look! Ethan can no longer escape!

      What will Bystander Danny do?

      1. Andiemus

        Implying Ethan has dignity left.

  26. Bobo

    SHIT

    SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

    OH FUCK. Ethan is so fucked right now.

  27. Robbie C

    Poor Ethan. He just wants to fit in, guys.

    1. Yotomoe

      He’s gay. Of course he wants to fit in guys.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        +1 for pun.

        1. Queen Anthai

          +2.

        2. Jehosaphat

          +3

    2. Kensou

      I am NOT without sympathy to him. But what he’s doing is in no way, shape or form fair to Joyce. Normally I like my schadenfreude at her expense, but only when she’s at fault.

      1. Robbie C

        I don’t think Amber’s wrath is directed at Ethan because he’s leading her on. I think it’s more that last we’ve heard, Amber spent her summer in Ethan’s defense and doesn’t want her time utterly wasted. Not that Joyce doesn’t deserve better. She’s like my favorite character. Don’t want to see her hurt. (By the way, what’s up with seeing her 6th in the hottest DoA girl poll?!)

        1. timemonkey

          People have greater perverse sexual lust for the other ladies. And Sal is sculpted from caramel with a river of chocolate for hair. There’s not really any way to compete with that unless you’re an awesomely hot redhead, and the comic is devoid of those.

        2. Audiophillie

          What about Penny? She’s a red-head, and with green eyes to boot.

        3. timemonkey

          She has the physical attributes but lacks in demonstrated awesomness so far.

        4. TPman

          A promising candidate, held back by lack of exposure. Let’s all vote for her and turn what is currently a sad story into an inspirational underdog story.

        5. TPman

          Also I should point out her go get ‘er attitude. A real requirement for a loveable underdog. Also, in the Walkyverse she was awesome… in a way.

        6. timemonkey

          In the Walkyverse she failed at everything she tried to do, got a bunch of her own people killed with her overconfidence and demonstrated a complete lack of common sense.

          I am not holding this againt DoA Penny though, she shall be judged on her own merits.

  28. Nono

    If Ethan hadn’t used the whole ‘NEW GIRLFRIEND’ line here, I might even have felt sorry for him for what’s about to happen to him.

    Now? Eh. Let the bloodbath commence. He’ll still live, even if he’s already lost his spine.

    1. Yotomoe

      But if he loses his femurs it’s all over. He needs those to live.

      1. timemonkey

        He’ll need to cover his faaaaaace as well.

  29. Kernanator

    Joker voice: And here… we… go.

    1. Aizat

      The Joker’s voice inside Ethan’s head: Whoopsie, time to run!

      1. Ryorin

        I will now and forever imagine Ethan with a Mark Hamill Joker voice. I…I’m not sure how I feel about this.

        1. Aizat

          And thanks to your statement, all of the Joker’s remarks to Batman turned from undertones to overtones.

        2. StClair

          They weren’t already?

  30. collythewolly

    Ya dun goofed, Ethan.

    1. Yotomoe

      After several weeks it is no longer a goof. It’s a faux pas.

      1. timemonkey

        But it hasn’t been several weeks for them.

        1. Yotomoe

          It’s been about 2, I think.

        2. timemonkey

          Joyce and Ethan have beena couple for about 52 hours. Maybe 53 now.

        3. Yotomoe

          Yeah but he’s been stringing her along for way longer than that.

    2. Olly olly oxen free

      Welp time to go into my forward travelling time machine to see tomorrow’s page.

    3. Aizat

      Consequences will never be the same.

  31. Derc

    RUH ROH RAGGY

  32. Mr Soviet

    Oh dear, this can NOT end well. That said, its about time. I really want to see how this unfolds.

    Oddly enough, I definitely heard the “There is a tank approaching” music (from the Left4Dead games) in my head when I saw Amber in the last panel

    1. lordphulish

      It was Metal Gear Exclamation Point noise for me.

  33. Kernanator

    Oh, it looks like you’ve finally finished digging your own grave, Ethan. I’ll take my shovel back, now.

  34. Chase the Ace

    I don’t know why, but Danny looks scary on that last panel.

  35. Plasma Mongoose

    Hypertext: “it was at this moment that danny knew he should have pushed for kilroy’s instead”

    Can anyone explain what it means?

    1. timemonkey

      He should have insisted they go there to eat instead of Galasso’s where shit is obviously about to go down.

    2. Scoops

      Presumably Kilroy’s is another restaurant.

    3. Sri

      My guess is that is a restaurant choice.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Thanks guys, I should have worked that out on my own, my intellectual biorhythm must be on the downward path or something.

    4. Yotomoe

      Instead they’re eating at Killethan’s.

    5. Kelly

      “Hyerpertext”? I know you know better than that, Plas!
      How about “hovertext”?

      1. slicedtoad

        Actually, it’s ‘alt text’. But ‘hover text’ is used widely enough that I suppose it’s acceptable.

        1. John

          No, it’s hovertext, so called because it appears when you hover the mouse pointer over the image. It’s produced by the ‘title’ attribute. The ‘alt’ attribute happens to match the ‘title’ here, but that is not a necessary condition.

        2. TPman

          But don’t some languages call alt text exactly that?

        3. Li

          I’ll admit I don’t completely understand what you’re saying because I don’t know what state HTML is in in other languages. HOWEVER:

          ALT = “alternative” = text that is meant to REPLACE images when they fail; in most situations, it would ideally describe the image, so that the visitor isn’t missing out. In modern browsers, the only place you’ll see alt text is when an image breaks. Alt text is also read aloud by screen-readers for the vision-impaired.

          Although alt text once appeared on mouseover, and so came to be used for that purpose and referred to in its “hover” state by that name, again, it doesn’t in modern browsers.

          TITLE is an entirely separate attribute, intended to be the title of the picture, and also appears on mouseover in modern browsers.

          Neither are really “hovertext”, but you know.

    6. Whittier

      Kilroy’s is a sports bar in Bloomington, just off campus and *extremely* popular with the college students. It has been around for many years, and is just kind of a default setting for a lot of students. It will be packed to the gills during March Madness.

  36. BigMadDraco

    “I’ll put an end to this charade or my names not Ama…ber O’ Malley.”

    1. StClair

      Everyone’s got something to hide.

  37. 31stwalker

    Uh-oh, its about to become battle of the exexs!
    Shit is about to go DOWN!

  38. timemonkey

    And it’s not even a friday!

    Now, will Amber just storm out, make a scene or sit down and watch Ethan sweat as he digs himself deeper and deeper?

    If she does out him this has considerable potential to get out of hand.

    Panel two was pretty cute though. And it took me a few minutes to figure out why Danny would eb there, somehow completely forgot he knew Amber.

    1. Lukkai

      Please. We all know the next two comics will be a cut back to Billy and Sal. 😉

  39. Pivitor

    I really wish Joe was there so that we could have all of Joyce’s romantic interests ever in the same room together.

    1. timemonkey

      But if Joe gets too near Ethan he’ll have to have sex with like thirty women to counteract the gay!

      1. John

        DoA Joe doesn’t seem to be particularly concerned about that.

  40. Joebo

    And now we watch as the brown effluvia collides with the air circulation device.

  41. Mkvenner

    1. Ryorin

      Well said, Mkvenner. Well said.

  42. Khrene Cleaver

    Oh shiste on a on a Christ… Forgot about this…

  43. Yotomoe

    He’s gay in every universe. ALL of them. It is the sole universe constant.

    1. Aizat

      Well, in some stand point, it is true that there would always be something that stays constant in every universe but on the other hand, the universe love diversity.

      1. The1exile

        “The universe love diversity” sounds like a band name.

        1. Lukkai

          And a good one at that. Indie band obviously.

  44. Regalli

    YES! KNEW they were gonna show up here eventually!

    *Sits here quietly in anticipation for the next 23 hours and 30 minutes*

  45. Plasma Mongoose

    Ethan is about to be verbally sodomised in public and by a girl no less.

    1. dcmeserve

      He’d better just pray she doesn’t find a corn popper…

    2. Aizat

      I want to make a joke about Ethan and sodomy but…the last time I did a joke about sodomy, someone sent a decapitated horse head.

      1. Lukkai

        Horse head or Sodomuffin head?

  46. Ridureyu

    The TRUTH shall set you free! Free from Joyce!

  47. Brian Lynch

    I literally just started waving my hands wildly in the air like a cartoon stereotype of an old black lady in church.

  48. calmcalamity

    I don’t think Amber’s going to out Ethan. I think she’s just going to blacklist him till he sees the error of his ways, or the relationship implodes. I can’t see her either directly hurting him, or being able to be around him while he’s being such a lying bastard.

  49. Lucca

    AWWW SHIT NAW DAWG

  50. Audiophillie

    W-Willis, I think somehow, Daylight Savings threw your entire week off… Today isn’t Friday…

    1. Ryorin

      It is a cliffhanger so massive it warped time itself.

      Happy New Friday.

    2. Aizat

      They decided to change from Wednesday to Friday 2: GARBAGE DAY

  51. Aulayan

    I fully expect that tomorrow’s strip will be four panels of Amber’s hair getting scrunchied. (Possibly the next few days worth of strips so that way there’s a proper Friday cliffhanger. It is possible I have been reading too much of Jacques work)

  52. Tagg

    Dun dun dun

    Oh shit, Ethan’s in trouble now. Amber’s gonna rip him a new orifice.

    1. kirocontoy

      I would imagine he would enjoy having another pleasure hole. Though, it probably wouldn’t be all to pleasurable at first XD

  53. Dean

    Amber is right to be upset. Ethan should have offered Joyce’s head to the others before hogging it for himself.

  54. Corsair114

    Oh yes, this is gonna be good.

    I just checked my freezer and appear to have a stockpile of frozen burritos that should last the duration of arc and more, so I’m just gonna settle in and enjoy the fireworks.

    ….

    I haven’t bought frozen burritos in months, though.

  55. jaimehlers

    FUBAR, incoming.

  56. ridtom

    There may come a time in a mans life where he is recieving the GLARE. You do not question the GLARE, you do not challenge the GLARE, all you can do is mumble apologies and pray to god that you are unconscious during the Royal Asskicking that are about to recieve. Ethan is looking at that GLARE.

  57. Kernanator

    Well it’s about damn time. Trainwreck commencing in 3…2…1…

    1. Aizat

      So, you could say it’s a day of “wreck”oning?

      1. slicedtoad

        Wait, what? you turned his metaphor into a pun… that’s just… i don’t even know.

        1. Aizat

          It takes a special kind of mind to turn a metaphor into a pun. 🙂

      2. Kernanator

        …Well played, Aizat. Well played.

  58. Mr. Kitty

    YES!

    YES!!!

  59. Aizat

    Wow, I’ve been gone that long and Ethan is kissing Joyce? What else did I miss?

  60. Romanticide

    This can only end in tears…

    1. Aizat

      Isn’t it already going to end in tears even if Amber didn’t find out?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Should have used the “no more tears” formula.

        1. Yotomoe

          But it DOES make you cry…

  61. Karloaf

    sides vibrate into infinity

  62. cookie1995

    this is going to be fun
    *grabs popcorn*

    1. James

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WSe9ugpXIw
      In deed. though I am shocked Willis didn’t save this until Friday.

      1. Sir Robin

        This makes me fear for what happens on Friday

        1. Whittier

          Indeed!

  63. Ben

    well… i… can’t help but feel a little sorry for ethan, and a whole lotta sorry for Joyce. her gay bf is about to be forced out of the closet by Amazigirl so hard his adopted children’s children are going to feel it. plus Dorothy will have a whole new mess to talk poor Joyce down from… poor Joyce…

    1. bhtooefr

      That’s not Amazigirl.

      We know Amazigirl is Sal, clearly.

      /me runs

      1. SUGauthor

        Everyone knows Amazigirl is Ruth. Why else would Billie be so obsessed with her?

  64. Arkadi

    Amber’s glaring at Ethan for all of us.

    Now commence the punching!

  65. Luffy

    Dat’ righteous fury.

  66. Salidar

    A lot of people here seem to be thinking Amber is going to out Ethan. That’s about the worst thing I can think of someone to do to someone else and I very much don’t believe that will happen. Most likely I would expect to see Amber want to talk to Ethan privately and then would start the ass chewing, but if she actually did out him in public like this I would lose any and all respect for her.

    1. Noel Schornhorst

      What if she just punches him?

      1. begbert2

        *WHAM*
        (Stalks off)

        “Ethan, honey, what happened? Who was that?”
        “… Jealous ex.”

    2. SUGauthor

      He’s hurting Joyce, it would be immoral of her not to end the relationship.

  67. JoeMerl

    OOH, things are about to get awkward! I mean, Danny and Dorothy just ran into each other with the new people they’re dating!

    …Oh, and hey, Amber knows Ethan is gay, doesn’t she? 😉

    1. Jesse

      She knows better than anyone. Ethan realized he was gay when his and Amber’s attempt at sex failed miserably.

    2. timemonkey

      Danny’s not involved with Amber, he’s involved with Amazigirl.

      1. Sir Robin

        Now what if AmaziGirl walks in and notices Danny with Amber??

        1. Arkadi

          What indeed.

  68. Jesse

    Oh, snap!

  69. ambiguousArsonist

    You done goofed Ethan

    1. Josh

      Consequences will never be the same.

  70. Turkey Dave

    Oh you’re done. You’re so done that successfully cooked cookies and other baked goods have come around to induct you into their Hall of Done-ness. You’re more done than a thing which is really really done. That’s a lotta done for one person, but you nailed it.

    Go you

  71. Uniqueantique

    Indeed Amber knows very well Ethan is gay. He discovered or realized or faced the fact, that he was gay – while the two of them were in bed on prom night, if I remember correctly.
    If Ethan doesn’t die of fright from the Glare, it is going to be very interesting to find out what’s next.

  72. Harry

    Uh oh.

  73. Lancer

    Release the drama llamas!

  74. Nina

    OOHHHHH SNAP!

  75. Quinctia

    Yeah, Ethan, that would only work if you went farther away for school. I went two states away, and even then I did spot someone in a letter jacket from my high school once.

  76. Andiemus

    Come on, amber. PUNCH HIM.

  77. Farmer_10

    It is on in a manner that is reminiscent of Donkey Kong, female hound exclamation point.

  78. James

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J-y2rFfny8&feature=player_embedded

    ALL HANDS PREPARE FOR SHIP TO SHIP COMBAT!!

    1. Aizat

      Combat? Should’ve used the music from Amok Time.

  79. wynne

    On the one hand, Amber has every right to be super pissed at Ethan right now.

    On the other hand, outing your friend before he’s ready is a super shitty thing to do.

    There is no way this can end well.

    1. Bekah

      Ethan was already out. He’s just since decided to get back in.

    2. John

      I’m hoping Amber’s response is more along the lines of dragging Ethan off somewhere private and impressing upon him the fact that he’s being a cockhammock and needs to do the right thing than loudly and publicly outing him in front of strangers. (Amber hasn’t actually met Walky or Joyce, has she?)

      1. begbert2

        Amber stalks off.
        Ten minutes later Amazi-Girl swoops into the restaurant and beats the living shit out of him without saying a word.
        As she swoops out again Galasso tries to hire her.
        The end.

      2. John

        To answer my own question… Amber’s encountered Joyce and Walky before, as “Dorothy’s companions”, but she didn’t even get their names, and Joyce was hiccuping and Walky was in freaked-out-by-Dorothy mode. Joyce and Amber were both at the floor meeting, but they didn’t interact. Amazi-Girl was at the party, but Joyce wasn’t in any shape at the time to talk to her.

        So, yeah, Amber probably recognizes their faces, but has never actually met them.

  80. macbone

    Man, Ethan’s one of my favorite characters. This is going to really hurt both him and Joyce, but it’s for both of their own good. Surgery is never fun.

  81. Bloobleep

    I could see shit not going down, actually.

  82. Azrael

    Ooh, Amber has her smite face on. Run away, Ethan. 😛

  83. Mr. Morningstar

    yup, saw this coming from the very start

  84. Galeus

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    1. Galeus

      SHEEEEEEEEEIIIIIITTTTTTT

  85. Dara

    I just see the last panel with a big caption that reads “JUDGING YOU.”

    1. Andiemus

      Not harshly enough.

  86. Zaxares

    DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!

  87. Shobo

    Why is Mike wearing a Danny costume?

    1. begbert2

      Mike suggested to her where they should go for their date.

      1. Shobo

        Wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaat.

        1. begbert2

          I’m guessing!

          But I can totally believe it. And that he told *both* couples where to go.

  88. Noel Schornhorst

    Oh, Ethan, be glad toy popcorn popper lawnmower thingies were outlawed in Galasso’s… ever since ‘the incident.’

  89. Aizat

    Ethan, to quote Lincoln, now you fucked up.

    1. Notebooked

      Now you fucked up! …Now you fucked up! …now you fucked up! …now you fucked up!

      “That’s it, I’m shooting him.”

  90. Caffienated

    YES! GOD YES! I’ve been waiting for this!

  91. Jimmy

    Whew…if looks could kill Ethan would be dead instantly.

    1. Josh

      He would be a pile of scorched ashes on the floor.

  92. Josh

    How is Joyce higher than Penny in the poll?! Shame on you all.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She hasn’t exactly seen much action in DoA as of yet, hell even Raidah had more screen time than Penny has.

    2. John

      DoA Penny hasn’t shown up enough to override my memories of the Walkyverse version, who I wouldn’t even do with Mike’s dick for a nickel. There are some kinds of crazy that you really don’t want to stick it in.

      I voted for Sal, Billie, and Marcie. Because Leslie’s not in the poll.

  93. Notebooked

    OOOOH DAMN

    Ohhh things are going to go DOWN they are going to go DOWN like your eyebrows going into a FROWN like the down in the Bronx because that is DOWNTOWN the fecal matter has hit the fan and it is BROWN the seeds to your doom have been watered and SOWN (there is a reason I am not a rapper guys)

    Also, remember that Ethan’s mentioned his “new friend” to Amber before! She thought there was a subtle implication in that and that he was beginning a relationship as he was, so discovering he’s going back into the closet, fooling both this girl and having lied to the friend that helped him cope, is probably adding to the anger she feels at this!

    Outing Ethan in public would be a really shitty thing to do, yes, but this Amber seems like maybe she might do it without thinking about it. This is a more decisive Amber, a more confident Amber, one that’s less socially awkward (or at least, who can manage small talk and banter fine, who can conceal her insecurities), one that put on the Amazi-Girl costume and fights crime each night. She may respond with action rather than inaction if she isn’t sure what to do.

    Plus, we can compare this to the Danny-Walky-Dorothy situation! Danny got pissed at Dorothy for dumping him due to keeping a focus on her studies before getting together with Walky, thus making him feel like a special case/like the circumstances she cited weren’t entirely true. Amber, meanwhile, has mentioned several times that Ethan’s reveal hurt her a lot, and she seemed to have been quite involved in their relationship. Now, Ethan’s gone back to another relationship, and she’s pissed at him for both — denying the revelation that took him a while to get to terms with (and that she supported him with), and the fact that he’s stringing along another girl who will inevitably get hurt like she was.

    Will she out him in public? Will she out him just to Joyce? Will she pull him aside and have a quiet talk with him? Will Danny, rather clingy as he is, get worried about his friend-who-is-a-girl seeming so emotionally involved in this other guy? Will Amazi-Girl swoop in to save the day?

    Well, we’re coming up to a Friday, so I’d say the first one will probably be the case, being the one with the highest drama potential. (On the other hand, it’d also strain relationships immensely, which leads to less future drama potential!) Only time will tell.

    1. Andiemus

      I’m personally hoping she clocks him with a pizza tray first.

  94. Raoullefere

    Exterminate! Extermin… wait Expel from closet! EXPEL FROM CLOSET!

  95. mechaqua

    So after reading through the comments, I am surprised no one has brought the possibility
    that tomorrow the comic may suddenly switch to a different story line. Which would be hilarious.

    1. Notebooked

      Willis wouldn’t be that–oh wait. Yeah. Yeah, that’s what’s gonna happen.

  96. Arturo

    Is this Dark Amazi-Girl we’re about to witness in action?

  97. Zeus

    RELEASE THE KRAKKEN!

  98. clodia

    Oh my god, she said go out for pizza like 50 strips ago. This should have been looming over this get-together the entire time!

  99. JetstreamGW

    Shit just got real.

  100. Sir Robin

    Oh crap …

    http://youtu.be/ImgHoGgCn8U

  101. Sir Robin

    Of all the things that could happen to Ethan, this is the … WORST … POSSIBLE … THING!!!

    1. Dr.Z

      Perhaps it’s for the best, long term?

      I can’t see it going well the further they get into their relationship when the truth does come out.

    2. Ragnal

      Did you change your icon just for that?

      1. Sir Robin

        No, I’ve had this for a while

  102. GizmoRyda

    THE JIG IS UP!!!

    1. Raoullefere

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3viQHsBFc4

  103. Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)

    Is it considered Bashing if he deserves a beat down for being a jerk?

  104. Memyself

    Kinda horrifying how many people here are anxious to see Ethan potentially outed against his will.

    1. timemonkey

      No, we thirst for drama and consequences to stupidity! Him being Outted doesn’t have to happen.

    2. Nono

      If Joyce knew Ethan was gay at least and still went along with the relationship, sure, whatever floats their boat. That’s a whole other kettle of problems, but if they’re both fine with it having full knowledge of the situation, well, it’s their lives.

      Here, it’s just manipulation and in the long run, not healthy for either person. Just think of the AU Ethan and Amber, but with the far less sane and husband/children-crazy Joyce.

      If you read Shortpacked!, do you have the same protest against Robin outing Ethan to himself?

      1. Memyself

        No. I don’t have the same problem with Robin outting Ethan to himself. Confronting friends with truths about themselves is not the same as exposing truths about a friend to others.

        Intent matters. And Ethan in Dumbing of Age is not attempting to manipulate Joyce. He’s attempting to hide from aspects of his nature that are painful to him. He’s attempting to be the person he thinks he should be rather than the person he really is. He’s deeply troubled over his identity, and is as much a victim of conservative culture as Joyce is.

        Should Ethan have revealed his sexual past to Joyce? A woman he has only kind of barely started dating? Why? I mean, to the observer the reasons are obvious, sure. We can see where this is headed. But Ethan doesn’t have that same omniscient foresight. He’s trying to reinvent himself. He’s hoping that he’s chosen the correct course. It’s wrong, yes. But he doesn’t necessarily know this.

        And he should have a right to privacy, regardless of potential trouble this could cause down the road.

        1. Andiemus

          I’d agree with you, if he hadn’t already come out. Not to Joyce but he had before, he knows he’s gay. He’s already admitted it so he knew it would have become an issue. That is manipulation.

        2. Memyself

          As Ethan already stated in a previous strip: being gay doesn’t come with a manual. He doesn’t want to be gay. He’s trying to be straight. While that effort may be misguided, borne out of self-loathing and doomed to fail, that’s not manipulation. Thoughtless of the potential consequences? Sure. But again, that’s not manipulation.

        3. Andiemus

          It is manipulation, he may seriously want to not be gay, but he knows he is. He knows there’s no way he could be otherwise, and he’s indulging in Joyce’s desires for the sake of playing make-believe.

        4. Memyself

          How exactly does he know there’s no other way he can be straight? Again: Ethan already stated that being gay doesn’t come with an instruction manual. He doesn’t want to be gay. He’s trying to live (what he perceives as) a normal life. Is he wrong? Sure. Is he going about things wrong? Yes. Is that manipulation? No.

        5. Andiemus

          Because he knows he’s gay! If he thought he was straight he wouldn’t have pulled this shit with Amber in the first place.

        6. Memyself

          And he’s hoping he can live a straight life anyway. It’s been made pretty clear that he thinks that’s what he should be doing to be happy.

          His mind and his body want two different things. He’s confused and trying to figure out how that works. It happens.

    3. clodia

      I think this is a situation where the majority of the audience knows that it won’t be as awful as it could be in real life. In real life, Amber should absofuckinglutely not out him.

      Here, it’s not a good decision if she does, and there will be ramifications, but it probably won’t completely ruin his life. Probably. None of the characters are going to try to ruin his social circle or call him names. I think that all of these characters, with the exception of Joyce, would be okay with him being gay, but disappointed by his lying. As for Joyce? I think if she weren’t dating him, she’d try to process. Because he has been lying to her, she would be rightfully furious. But I don’t think she’d do anything to retaliate.

      I think the best thing for Amber to do as a moral person is to blacklist him until he’s honest, and maybe even say that he’s lying. I think the second best thing for her to do is to pull Joyce and Ethan to the side, and try to talk to them both privately. I think the most dramatic thing to do is to bust out some truth. I’m okay with that happening because I trust that the consequences, while dramatic, will not be utter tragedy.

      1. Memyself

        It’s not so much about what others think of Ethan, but about what Ethan thinks of himself. He’s already deep in self-loathing over being gay, and has made it clear that he feels being gay has been horribly destructive for him. Then a public outing? And Joyce? He may not be attracted to her but he likes her. So how many friends will being gay cost him? How many will he perceive being lost to him?

  105. Joe

    Tomorrow and Friday:
    More Billie and Sal!
    Or a lot of grumbling from Amber, without anything actually being revealed.

    1. John

      Given that Twitter has Billie contemplating whether showing Sal her tis [sic] will get her more booze, I’m down with a scene change.

  106. Jay

    That horrible gut wrenching moment when reality and the dream world suddenly crash into eachother…
    -Grabs popcorn, soda, chocolate, and man-sized diapers-
    OHhohohoh This should be good =D

  107. Stephen

    Prediction: Ethan knows about Amazi-girl and either a) uses that to stop Amber from revealing he is gay somehow or b) outs Amber as Amazi-girl as revenge

  108. Paul1963

    Anyone else hear a thunderclap under that last panel?

  109. Gnome

    Looks like a storms a brewin’.

  110. Dr.Z

    FFFFFfffffffffffff…

  111. SeanNOLA

    Uh, this is the first time I’ve noticed the hidden “hover punchline”. Now I have to go through every single strip to see what I’ve been missing…Workday saved!

    1. SeanNOLA

      Wait, nevermind. It only goes back to the Billie/Billie’s Boss kiss. Back to work, I guess.

  112. Felix Featherstone

    OH. This is bad. This is really bad. I know I saw it coming but this is going to be ugly.

  113. Charles RB

    LOOKS LIKE TOTAL NUKE-OUT!

  114. Frank

    Is that somthing people do? Go back into the closet i mean.

  115. Kafloobop

    This is going to do wonders for Joyce’s growing distrust of men.

    1. Dr.Z

      Interesting point.

      Do you think she’ll reject men and only date women after this?

      1. timemonkey

        She and Walky shall have an epic duel to the death over Dorothy.

  116. Dr.Z

    I voted for Joyce.

    I love her creepy, inhuman blue eyes with no pupils, only a second iris.

  117. John Madden

    I believe this is appropriate for those last two panels.

    http://dundundun.net

  118. Whited

    That might be the most terrifying comic panel I have ever seen.

  119. bunivasal

    Has anyone considered that Amber may think that Ethan was lying to her about being gay in order to get out of their relationship? He is kind of a spineless doormat, so relying on subterfuge to get out of relationships wouldn’t exactly be an olympic-level conclusion jump for Amber.

    Plus, it doesn’t really speak well of his high school friends when he’s relieved to meet new people and hit a reset button.

    1. Greenygal

      Amber might find this plausible if he’d only come out to her, but he came out to his whole family and then apparently spent the summer doing damage control with Amber’s help. If you’re trying to avoid pain and awkwardness, that is not how you do it.

    2. madd

      “Plus, it doesn’t really speak well of his high school friends when he’s relieved to meet new people and hit a reset button.”

      You mean the friends he can’t lie about being straight to because they were the ones who helped support him when he came out to his friends and family back home? The one who helped him the most having been his girlfriend at the time? Ethan’s problem with his high school friends is he can’t pretend to be something he’s not with them, especially after all the emotional drama they went through with him during his whole coming out process. Not to mention that they wouldn’t quietly stand by and let him date a girl who’s clueless about his orientation and likely to get her feeling mashed up in the end.

  120. Nena

    Uh oh! What’s that whirling sound followed by a splatter? Oh. That’s shit hitting the fan.

  121. Ray

    Ohhhhh. Ethan really was playing along. I guess I thought he was just dense and hadn’t picked up on the signals from Joyce. Well, up until the kiss. I thought we’d be heading towards some awkwardness as he tried to let her down easy. Instead, this. He’s trying to go straight again? I suppose he has reasons that he’ll be explaining rather soon. Maybe he just thinks Joyce is such a sweet girl and didn’t want to hurt her feelings. This is unwise on his part at best and a dick move at worst.

    1. Aydr

      Yeah, he explicitly spelled this out before when he was talking with OH MY GOD AMBER AND DANNY ARE HERE BECAUSE MIKE TRICKED THEM INTO EATING HERE.

      1. Andiemus

        Way to go Mike.

  122. Jay

    –^
    OMG I dont care if its DoA Mike or not, it has to be his doing!
    Awesome 😀

    1. turkishproverb

      It is actually Shortpacked! Mike’s doing.

      He’s just that good.

  123. shortstop

    I guess everyone was coming to Galasso’s.

  124. Soozi

    No matter what Ethan’s justifications are, Amber has every right to give him a good long lashing.

    Ethan has betrayed her, lied to her, and I’m assuming deeply emotionally hurt her, not just once but now twice. She encourages him when he comes out, even though (from how I’m reading the story) she had feelings for him and was hurt by his rejection, she spends a summer helping him out of the closet, and tries to help him accept himself. But he goes behind her back, and “tries again” to be straight? Sure, most of the time he’s sweet but damn that is cold. He has broken her heart, and now betrayed her friendship. He has broken every little bit of their friendship, and as someone who has been in a similar situation (minus the “secretly gay” part) I hope she gives him the talk of his lifetime and hope she never gives him the time of day again and finds better friends.

    1. timemonkey

      On the other hand, his coming out went very badly, he was lonely and depressed and she decided to stop spending time with him because she needed space for a while. When your best friend is lonely and depressed and you leave him alone in a new place where he doesn’t have anyone else it’s not that surprising that’ll he’ll try and do something stupid to make himself feel better.

    2. Memyself

      You’re skipping the part where she stopped hanging out with him. It’s kind of important.

      1. Josh

        And you’re skipping the part where she needed space after being dragged through the mess of him coming out the first time.

        1. Memyself

          Where am I skipping that? That’s already said by the poster I was responding to. The part I point to, was NOT.

          Context matters.

      2. Soozi

        She didn’t completely stay away from him though, she just needed space. It’s not like she said “hey i don’t want to be friends” it was more a “i need time to mend my heart after helping you fix your shit”.

        Sure, context matters. but the context isn’t “he’s justified because she backed off” the context is “he did this already, to amber.”

        1. Memyself

          She needed space because his being gay affected their friendship. His being gay was affecting everything in his life in a way he felt was negative. So go figure, he wanted to try and fix” himself.

          If Ethan decided he wanted to attempt to take his life (and his sexuality) in a different direction, that’s his business. It isn’t Ambers. No matter how involved they had been, it’s his sexual orientation and his decision when and how to include other people. He isn’t suddenly beholden to Amber to keep her up to date on what he is doing with his penis or his feelings, no matter what their past.

          Mind you, I think he could be doing some things in a more considerate manner. But go figure the character is going through a bit of a broken and selfish arc. Your response: Cut him out of her life and find better friends because he is a traitor.

  125. Manly Bowler

    Ethan, Mister Lincoln would like a word with you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY

  126. averystrangeplace

    [Insert “Battle Without Honour Or Humanity” here.]

  127. Tarkada

    Just laughed so hard it was on a frequency I can’t hear.

  128. Angelicfiend

    Ethan….no….don’t do this…be who you are, love yourself, don’t hide. oh ethan…

  129. Angelicfiend

    also, i’ll say it is wrong to out anything without their consent, and Ethan is going through A LOT of issues, but he still has no right to use Joyce as a beard or to try to use her to become straight, there is a lot of things wrong with this…but again..Ethan…no….baby…and joyce…be gentle…

  130. A, Hayes

    First post, I had to in this case. Boy, all I have to ask is, “what you want done with the remains”?

  131. Maycroft

    And that ladies an getlemen, is how ethan died.

  132. The Aussie Bloke

    Stick a fork in him, he’s DONE.

  133. vlademir1

    Ethan in this verse has bothered me for quite a while with this, and now the inevitable has come knocking. The issue at hand really is the fact he’s leading Joyce on trying to use her as a beard, and Joyce, no matter her shortcomings, deserves better than to be treated like that.

  134. Krimson

    OMG! Amber is Grumpy Cat!

  135. Roborat

    Where is the flash of lighting and crack of thunder in the last panel?

  136. Pingback: Dumbing of Age - Grumpy Amber by Dan Dubinsky

  137. Hinoron

    Oh LOOK, it’s the old Save Game!

  138. EdoKara

    doooooooooooooooooom

  139. newllend

    oh,buuuussssted wow about time too, I was sick of watching this shit…ok then, dance monkeys =D

  140. Lord Geovanni

    All hail the dark overlord who I have allowed to rule for millions of years and holds dino fwathers . Amber

  141. James

    Am I the only one who heard Vader’s Theme when I saw Amber in the last panel?

  142. discountmusketeer

    i am laughing too hard at danny’s dumb face

    he’s all like “whaaaa”

  143. Onion

    Dramatic iRONY PLANE IS GOING DOWN
    I REPEAT
    WE ARE GOING DOWN

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