239

Rootin’
Posted on July 16, 2019 by David M Willis

239 thoughts on “Rootin’”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Malaya Eufakeyo

    1. Sarpiedon

      I forget… does Malaya have an official last name?
      Because if not, this is so now in my head canon.

      1. Blob

        Malaya Eugenio here

  2. TooOldToBeCool

    And the candle lights up…

    1. Electriccombines

      To quote Alice from many, many strips ago:
      “Finally, an epiphany.”

    2. Michelle J. Caboose

      “I’ve just had a apostrophe!”

      1. Bryan Langley

        *giggle*

  3. timemonkey

    Hey look, they’re having a civil conversation!

    1. Agemegos

      Only one gratuitous insult. Pretty impressive.

      1. Dana

        Before you know it they’ll be like bro buds who express their platonic affection for each other via homophobic slurs.

        1. BarerMender

          In my (limited) experience, college girls show affection by calling each other whores.

        2. Arawn

          Before you know it there will be a slipshine…

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          –Which would be awful for poor Marcie, if neither of them were attracted to girls enough to be with her. :c

          Dammit, Sal, why can’t you be straight with an exception?

        4. Makkabee

          The Slipshine could be a fantasy Marcy’s having — “simultaneously hot and self-punishing” is a recurring theme here, after all.

        5. HMH

          Shit, I could punish myself to that.

        6. Delicious Taffy

          Damn it, don’t make me get the spray bottle. You kids and your relentless hormones.

        7. Freezer

          So which one’s Jo and which one’s Blair in this scenario?

        8. Sunny

          That is a true fact that definitely happens.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLUabRtSmWs

        9. thejeff


          Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

  4. Nono

    Her worst nightmare.

  5. Kyrik Michalowski

    No Malaya, you just don’t know what you are, besides a massive pain in the ass.

  6. ValdVin

    Malaya has a wham panel yesterday and today? I need to sit down for a minute.

    1. Walky_Talky

      For some reason all I can think of is those “Maybe….I am the fool” comics

      1. merbrat

        next: the Malaya Joyce Face?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Most of my Gravs seem to be either Joyce, Ruth, or Malaya, so combining two of them would be a real time saver.

      2. Blanche Quizno

        See this week’s Oglaf comic (NSFW)

  7. Stu

    Wow, a rare moment of self-reflection.
    …
    …
    …
    How many panels before it goes bye-bye?

    1. Danielle

      3

      1. Clif

        1

  8. Danielle

    if malaya is not a true, then must be a fakey

  9. Schpoonman

    Yes.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Is that in response to panel 1, 4, or 7?

  10. ian livs

    It’s okay–everybody’s at least a tiny bit fakey, Malaya.

    1. Leorale

      You’re a little bit fake-y
      Well you’re a little bit too!
      I guess we’re both a little bit fake-y
      Admitting it’s a very hard thing to do
      But between me and you
      I guess everyone’s a little bit fakey, sometimes…

      1. Lone Wolf

        I understood this reference. =D

        1. Sambo

          I understood YOUR reference!
          …assuming you’re thinking of the same thing I am, of course.

  11. Lone Duck

    Hopefully it’s not a fake moment of self-reflection.

    1. Needfuldoer

      But that in itself would be fakey!

      1. Deanatay

        “I thought I was fakey once, but I was faking it.”

        (I was so good at faking it I fooled myself)

  12. AeromechanicalAce

    No, Malaya,I’m pretty sure Marcie knows you’re a complete butthole. Her hormones are just overriding her better judgement.

    1. Shen Hibiki

      Well, she does have a type. So maybe not her better judgement anyway.

      1. AeromechanicalAce

        Sal provides proof that Marcie’s type includes decent Human beings though.

        1. timemonkey

          Sal is also a jerk, just more of the dismissive and condescending type.

        2. Seregiel

          She actually stated that she could handle Malaya better because she didn’t provide splash back because she was a jerk vs Sal being good and causing splash back… so less about personality type and morals and more about what complicated Marcie’s life.

    2. All-Purpose Guru

      Yeah, pretty much.

  13. DEAD MEME

    ok so basically

    i’m fakey

  14. BBCC

    PFFFT. Damn, Sal, you broke her with one question.

    Malaya, don’t beat yourself up too much. The closet is strong and cisnormativity is a hell of a drug. Take all the time you want. Nobody should judge you for that.

    Your shitty attitude to people who do nothing to deserve it on the other hand.

    1. BBCC

      Also, Sal, you SAY that in panel two, and that may well be true for canon.

      Post canon fanfic on the other hand, I make no promises.

    2. thejeff

      Yes Malaya, you’re fakey, but that’s not why.

    3. Seregiel

      I mean… I didn’t even realize there was a closet. I just didn’t have the unlock code until I was so far down the line of other revelations I should have seen them add up. By that point I had slept walked through it and had that, “wait, what, this is weird?” Conversation. Probably helps I can pass as heteronormative.

      Knowing how much Malaya Doesn’t Care, I’m hoping this is less Becky blowing the door off and more her just turning on a series of lights and casually following it to her destination like it’s Not A Big Deal. This is probably my greatest wish for societal acceptance of people as individuals regardless of label so – you know – bias goggles towards my desired outcome.

  15. Delicious Taffy

    So, is her criteria for “fake” just “isn’t exactly what you expect at first glance”? Because that’s not others being fake. That’s her being shallow.

    1. Miri

      But does explain her issue with Sal…

      1. Rectilinear Propagation

        It’s so good to finally get an explanation!

        It’s just weird that it’s that she thinks that if people have the wrong idea about someone, it’s that individual’s fault, even if it isn’t something they are doing on purpose.

        1. HMH

          Honestly, that’s enough to finally make me interested in the backstory that made Malaya a human dumpster fire, and honestly, isn’t that the main point of this comic in the first place?

        2. Zee

          My theory’s always been that she’s just Like That. Normal family life, normal childhood, maybe was a high school bully, maybe was bullied, maybe both. I’ll probably be proven wrong but for now I just see her as another person who just grew up to be an asshole

      2. timemonkey

        Sal does put on a too cool and popular to care façade, it’s just not to the extent Malaya thinks.

    2. Keulen

      I’m pretty sure Malaya just calls anyone she doesn’t like “fake”, whether they are or not.

  16. abysswatcher1993

    The big irony is kind of karmic. Malaya accuses other people of being”fakers” as if she were Gilgamesh, but she is just faking her own persona as a bad girl just to not think about who she truly is. The irony is delicious.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Psychological projection is a hell of a drug.

    2. milu

      when i’m being insulted i assume the insulter is subconsciously talking about themself essentially always

  17. DailyBrad

    Petard is currently hoisting the shit out of ’em.

    I wonder if Sal is too engrossed in thinking about the Marcie stuff, or if Malaya’s venom just doesn’t have any effect on her once the cat’s out of the bag about the Marcie stuff? Like, maybe it’s easier to not give a shit if you’re not obligated to keep the peace.

  18. Dana

    They’re talking to each other like two respectful, reasonable human beings. I don’t trust it.

    1. Tan

      So we’re just sliding right past the “your fakey ass” in panel 1. Cool, cool.

      I mean, I’m still on board with it being an actual conversation after that because Sal declined to take the bait, but I don’t think we’re in immediate danger of breaking down into outright decorum too soon.

      1. Bagge

        That’s still respectful by Malaya standards.

        It’s not a very high bar.

        1. AeromechanicalAce

          We’re gonna need a submarine and James Cameron to find that bar…

      2. All-Purpose Guru

        Ah, but Sal’s ass is nothing but fakey.

        1. Schpoonman

          This is poorly-communicated sarcasm, right?

  19. newllend(henryvolt)

    And in the finale panel you can See Malaya pull off a astonishing Recreation of the shocked Pikachu face.

    1. Lawzlo

      We already had the triangle grin courtesy of Joyce, now we have the triangle of shock, or inverted triangle grin, if you like.

    2. Jhon

      Best Malaya face in the history of Ever!

  20. GoblinScribe

    Never change, Malaya.
    Well, maybe a little bit.

  21. Foxhack

    There’s a difference between “pretending to be someone you are not” and “not knowing what you are.”

    You’re not a “fakey”, Malaya. You’re just not a good person.

  22. Stephen Bierce

    TOM BOSLEY: Only a dummie would do something like this…
    (Mannekin with burning clothes crashes through a plate glass window and falls twenty stories to the street in The Towering Inferno)

  23. Alanari

    Welcome to reality malaya, where everyone wears masks. Including you.

    Interesting though, she didn’t say no.

    1. thejeff

      Sounds more like “I don’t think Marcie would want me, if she knew what I really am”.

      Which might be true-ish? We’ve been led to believe that Marcie’s interest is mostly physical and if so it’s tied directly to Malaya’s current presentation as a woman.

      1. Alanari

        Well, if she definitely wasn’t interested, her gender wouldn’t matter at all. “would you still like me if I was a man / genderless/ gender fluid /whatever” – “yes” – “bad luck then, because I don’t like you”.

        My money currently is on genderfluid

        1. thejeff

          That kind of does sound like Malaya. 🙂

          I agree though.

    2. Seregiel

      She’s thinking about the only person we’ve seen her value and what they want. That a good thing to do if you value someone regardless of personal wants.

      1. milu

        mmm i think Malaya’s thinking about herself, and fearing rejection, which is all-too human. or even more likely i’d say, fearing emotional nakedness, which is consistent with her character who we now see displaying vulnerability for approximately the first time.

        but that’s not what being respectful to Marcie looks like. For instance she might actually talk to her instead of running away making fake excuses like “if she knew i’m not a chick she won’t like me anymore”. You don’t actually know that!

        1. Cannonshop

          But is the “not a chick” internal, or external? Carla’s is external and soluble via surgery and behavioural counseling, but Malaya presents more as possibly “Female exterior, male interior”. Particularly she acts like a stereotype-kind of how a drag performer will in their persona, only without the benefit of makeup and custom clothing. The obsession with “fake” and “real” is also an indicator-she’s insecure in her own identity and overcompensating. It could just be that the “Inner” Malaya has a bit of facial hair and pees standing up without an appliance.

        2. Seregiel

          She’s literally thinking about it right now. For all I don’t like her, I’m not expecting respect for another to trump one needing time to fully embrace personal epiphanies. She doesn’t need to be forced out of her closet or erase her confusion for another’s comfort.

        3. milu

          Oh, absolutely. I say Malaya’s own insecurities probably rank higher in their preoccupations than the precise shape of Marcie’s desire, but I don’t mean that as a bad thing. Of course they should take their own time to figure themself out, and the immediacy of desire has a way of crystallising that sort of thing. Power to them, i’m sure they’re stronger than their fuckall attitude might lead one to suspect <3

        4. Seregiel

          I’m kind of agreeing with you in a round about way but it’s a matter of degrees and also how words were probably misinterpreted previously. Alanari was discussing Malaya’s interest in Marcie. My comment was geared towards she’s definitely considering Marcie’s feelings regardless of romantic interest and that it’s a little early to attach a significance to that since she has been considerate of Marcie in the past. Marcie will now be affected by her gender identity when it wasn’t an issue in friendship. I wasn’t speaking to her priorities or insecurities.

          I was trying to say this is coming to a head here and now because of her care for Marcie. She wouldn’t be talking to Sal of all people about this if it wasn’t for Marcie’s involvement. You do not casually talk to your enemy about your vulnerabilities after a month of hissing and saying you are superior.

          Up above you made the comment that if she had consideration for Marcie she would be talking to her about it instead of running away. Except Marcie was the one who wasn’t honest and left after wacky hijinx didn’t go as planned. Malaya didn’t run away. In fact, she was upfront about her confusion over the reveal with the only remaining member of the group before she headed out. Malaya is still considering the Marcie aspect, relationship desire or not, despite their own dysphoria and the fact someone they respected was not being completely truthful to them. Malaya had lamented about people not being forward right before the reveal. The fact this isn’t a trigger of “I don’t know what I am” but “I don’t know if I match expectations” speaks to caring regardless of the decision of romantic interest. It’s not necessarily fear. Plus, if Malaya never considered the possibility they might not know if they are interested yet! They’ve had other stuff to figure out! Thinking about Malaya and their expressed wants alone would have led to an instant response of “No, because Marcie proved she’s fake” and slamming that door like they do with everyone else.

        5. milu

          Oh i realize how my comment was a bit dismissive, i’m sorry. and i take your point, i think Malaya’s genuinely concerned about Marcie’s feelings and how to respond to them sincerely. So I guess it’s difficult for her to be sincere to anyone when she’s not sure she’s being true to herself right now.
          Also you’re right, the fact that she opens up about this to Sal of all people, to me signals that this has touched a sensitive enough nerve that her guard is pretty much all the way down.

        6. milu

          she/her, they/them, well I guess we’re all a little unsure here for a minute 🙂

        7. Seregiel

          I was long not to jump at you but to make sure I was clear this time. What I think is concise, others find vague and then I word vomit to over correct. No harm 🙂 yeah – I’m alternating between “her” because she hasn’t signaled a change and “them” because it’s neutral. We don’t really use zir in ‘Murcia much. The respectful vs presumptive with pronouns gets a little blurred with fictional characters who can’t correct you.

  24. Tacos

    Yes Malaya. Super Duper Mega Ultra Fakey. Or something.
    >.>
    <.<

  25. Achallenger

    That punchline got me more than it should have

  26. Bagge

    “And the monster was meeeeeee”

    1. Bagge

      https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndThenJohnWasAZombie

  27. Opus the Poet

    Sal is irredeemably straight, a zero on the Kinsey scale, a negative number even. That’s why she can’t be what Marcie needs.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      If she were irredeemably straight, we’d see her voting to take away the rights of non-straights.

      1. Dark

        …What?

      2. All-Purpose Guru

        That makes no sense. You can be completely straight, totally CIS, and have no desire to take anybody’s rights or booty away.

        Personally I have NO agenda against anybody schtoinking anybody else.

        1. BBCC

          Delicious Taffy is joking about the ‘irredeemably’ part.

        2. Jago

          Though still with emphasis on ‘straight’. So I get the reactions.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Yeah, this. I’m obviously not literally saying straight people are irredeemable.

        4. Seregiel

          You sure? You were firing Malayzars.

        5. Delicious Taffy

          Lazer faces are a symbol of the Swedish Rebellion, in which 46 brave Swedes (half the population at the time) took arms against the aggressively anti-Octagonapus government. Their relation or lack of relation to anti-hetero sentiment is beside the point.

        6. Seregiel

          Fascinating, Captain!

  28. Hazel

    Hamster face!

  29. Piotr W

    In the next strip, Malaya implodes into a very mean black hole due to shock…

  30. OnyxIdol

    Malaya demonstrates the surprised Pikachu face.

  31. Woomy

    Malaya comes to terms with her identity and comes out, just to spite Sal

    1. Bagge

      Seems like a very Malaya thing to do.

    2. Eve

      I’d say first Sal would have to give a shit about Malayas identity but Malaya could easily convince her(their/his depending on where that lands)self that Sal cares no matter how little she does.

  32. Reltzik

    MALAYA wants to learn the move SELF-AWARENESS.

    But MALAYA can’t learn more than four moves!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Too bad she’s a HM slave.

      1. Jago

        I know jokes are less funny if they are explained, buuuuut could someone still explain what that means? :’>

        1. AeromechanicalAce

          HM Slaves are pokemon that players load up with HM moves that aren’t good in battle, but useful in the overworld, Like Flash or Cut, so none of their battle oriented pokemon have to waste a move slot.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          You said “useful” and “Flash” in the same sentence. That’s a very bold life choice.

        3. BBCC

          It’s useful in the caves.

  33. Bunny

    Malaya, you’re mistaken.

    Marcie doesn’t like you for who you are. She thinks you’re hot. you are a wholey unpleasant person to be around to everyone BUT her.

    1. Eve

      To be fair, Marcie and Malaya share several hobbies they seem to enjoy doing with each other. She probably genuinely likes all the non shitty parts of Malaya.

    2. thejeff

      It’s not entirely clear. That’s the impression we get, but it’s filtered through Sal who does despise Malaya. I suspect Marcie does like Malaya for more than just the hotness and it would be interesting to see a bit more of why.

      Of course, a crush can often blind someone to their crush’s faults.

    3. Seregiel

      A point for Malaya: they actually want to go out and do stuff and don’t care if it’s with other people. That was the complaint with Sal as a friend. That had to be a fresh breath. It still confuses me since the first time I remember the introduction, they were all out together in the Wal-Mart parking lot being social so it seems like a retroactive problem or one that was brewing offscreen. It’s a long comic – might be time to archive binge.

  34. Torra

    Damn am I the only one who enjoys Malaya’s character, I didn’t realise she was hated THIS much

    1. BBCC

      Nah, I love her.

    2. Lamppost

      I love her too, she is one of my favorites.

    3. Keulen

      Given how much of a jerk Malaya is to almost every other character, it kind-of amazes me that people actually like her.

      1. Uly

        None of us like jerks in real life, but some of us like them in fiction.

    4. AeromechanicalAce

      People Like Sal. Malaya has been nothing but nasty to her since Day 1.

      As for me, Malaya is like a human papercut. Not outright harmful, Like Blaine or Carol or Robin, but incredibly irritating.

    5. Seregiel

      I do not like Malaya because I’ve interacted with too many people of that mindset in reality AND I find Malaya feels like a tool of the plot more than a character in their own right to me. Actions and outcomes rarely match up, they are just along for the ride or to provide a push in a place. This revelation st the end has been made a couple times before so although it’s a big in character moment, it still feels a little for the story’s sake. Which is okay and needed sometimes but won’t make me fall in love with a character.

      That said if you like how Malaya’s character is and how a story moves around them then you find the fan base: a lot of people admire them for being brash, or owning self or find their stubbornness entertaining, or like the chaos apples sewn liberally. Another big one is representation – Malaya hits a lot of underserved boxes and people can identify and identify why that can also make you a bit abrasive. They don’t back down. They are also anti authority in their way. They are an underdog but don’t tell them that because they are first class in their mind! The fact someone abrasive exists makes her more real than a lot of goody goody characters to some.

      I GET the attraction but I’ve also gotten the impression a lot of the commenters have had the same experience as myself – and it’s hard to look past the embodiment of someone who has done so much harm or created long term irritation etc. Part of it is how it is presented too – we haven’t had the soft moments yet. Even if annoying, if people find out this is a shield/lash out pattern is due to trauma, if Malaya learns to be blunt instead of brash, if people see her grow – I guarantee the fan base will grow. This is the start but you generally don’t hug the person throwing sand in your hair for a month on day 1.

      1. milu

        “although it’s a big in character moment, it still feels a little for the story’s sake.”
        For me, this is about humanizing a character. So far (note I’ve only been reading DoA though) we’ve only seen Sal’s Malaya, se we’d be forgiven to consider them a total bongo. But people are never obnoxious without reason (i.e. some kind of insecurity). Understanding someone’s insecurities or past trauma goes a long way towards empathizing with them…

        That said, we’re allowed to not like somebody else, no matter how little or how much we know about them.

        1. milu

          oops censorship 🙂 new to these boards. i meant to use another b-word than “bongo” as the veterans will have guessed??

        2. Seregiel

          In past strips the audience has seen her struggle with her gender before. It being here is for the characters to understand the struggle, not us. It just adds to the drama.

        3. milu

          …oh, sure but, I might not get your point here; I was going to say, characters are not real persons, and this is a story, so the “drama” is really all there is?
          And as for past occurences of Malaya’s gender trouble, aside from that one offhand comment ages ago…?

        4. Seregiel

          In any singular comic she has off hand comments or acts like a device IMO. She speculated about herself as an offhand comment to strangers, she mic dropped with Carla and here it’s letting other characters in as a reveal. It didn’t feel like a natural evolution due to organic interactions/relationships with characters. That’s just an example. If she isn’t the sick burn, she feels more like a contention point rather then a person. What I meant by unevenness was despite being loud and rude, she gets smacked around in comic when she’s on low antagonism levels for her. There hasn’t been a comeuppance for any of the nasty or an affirmation of type. The closest we got was Marcie saying that the lack of integrity has less backsplash. Instead she gets people being disproportionately abrasive or completely cowed.

        5. milu

          Oh, so you’re saying you don’t like Malaya because you feel like they’re always putting on a show of some kind, and not the fun kind of show? You know, fair enough. You don’t like them, that’s your reason for it. Cool.

          But I mean, “natural evolution”, “organic interactions”… those are personal feelings i think. Malaya’s definitely not chirpy or kind, but i’ve never felt like they were calculating or fake. Rather like, they push everyone away and pretend to be constantly aloof only as a (pretty obvious) way to hide their insecurities. And that’s just been their default attitude for so long that it just comes naturally to them now. “Spontaneity” is another word for really dedicated acting.

          Personally I do feel them as a person, not just as a plot bot.

          Also, I actually think I like them better than Sal?? No idea why. Maybe cos Sal’s “coolness” is just so in your face, and I’m maybe irked that everyone around her seems to look up to her so much.

          Final note, I really like Marcie and the fact that she is infatuated with Malaya makes me think there’s more to them than meets Sal’s eye.

    6. Corey

      Nah I like her as a character as well. Having people that are sweet and nice all the time is boring. Shes probably going to get character growth at some point but I hope shes still somewhat of a jerk, because having everyone fix every personality problem they have is also boring.

    7. timemonkey

      I’ve always enjoyed her.

    8. Zatar

      She’s hit or miss for me. Sometimes (Like in this comic!) I find her super entertaining, other times she’s just annoying. but being kind of annoying is part of her character so I feel this is definitely the intended reaction.

  35. Pocky

    a lot of world-shattering revelations today

    oh hey; more things you two have in common!

  36. All-Purpose Guru

    Reality is that Marcie wants your body, Malaya. I have a feeling your brains are totally optional, and possibly not even desired.

  37. Cass

    I don’t think there’s been a single moment in this comic’s run that has made my old-ass self think “Man, you really are just a kid” at all these teenagers like those last couple panels did. Not even Walky’s Walkyness!

  38. ObiKemnebi

    Projection: it’s a hell of a drug.

  39. Ophidiophile

    Malaya realises that Marcie has a type, and the two people who are currently members of that type are Sal and…..

    1. Ophidiophile

      Image of fuck truck and Malaya’s brain.

  40. Proto

    But doctor, I am fakey

  41. BenRG

    In which Malaya is finally slapped in the face by the cold fish of reality!

    1. Geneseepaws

      Ah, yes, the Finnish fish slapping dance.

      1. Jhon

        Please tell me they actually do this in Finland now…

  42. brasca1

    Is the real Malaya any better than the fake? That’s the real question.

  43. facedepu

    Why does Malaya suddenly have scruples about her identity after sleeping with all those guys?

    1. BBCC

      She’s only had sex with, at most, two guys we know of, and she wanted to sleep with one more to spite Sal. One was Joe and the other was in the Welcome to the Fuck Zone slipshine (assuming it’s not also Joe).

      1. K the Nerd

        It is also Joe

    2. Delicious Taffy

      What does one have to do with the other?

    3. Seregiel

      Assuming this is conflating sex with attraction versus the thing she felt she should do… if she was actually attracted to men and her final conclusion of self ends up being say a trans man at the end… Then it’s a two for one epiphany of othership. She’s trans and gay or bi or what have you versus just the discovery of orientation. It’s more then one reveal to herself and one more thing that puts her in a threatened group. It should not matter at all to anyone. But that’s still going to matter a lot of that person.

      Now, we haven’t seen her be attracted and appeased in her forays if I remember correctly so it could also be the light bulb “no wonder!” Moment,

    4. JBento

      Malaya can be not a cis-she and still enjoy fucking dudes. That’s three letters of LGBT+ right there, even if you don’t count the ones that are usually subsumed by the + sign.

      1. Seregiel

        That whole you can have sex with someone and get nothing from it too are further down the alphabet soup.

        1. Jago

          I like ‘the alphabet soup’.

        2. Seregiel

          It wasn’t mine originally, so I can’t claim it. I just like the inclusivity of it. Tasty tasty inclusivity. Together, we are delicious!

      2. Nep

        Thank you.

    5. woobie

      She would be the first person EVAR to realize that later….

  44. Willoughby Chase

    Agree with Malaya

  45. Ojiejojie

    Prediction: Malaya is trans and that’s why she hates who she currently is and is calling out other people for being fake – because she’s being fake trying to be a woman

    1. Nep

      I think genderqueer rather than trans, but I don’t think Malays knows yet, so I’m prepared to be wrong.

      1. Seregiel

        For representation alone and how Malaya described herself in a previous life as “I don’t know – I guess whatever is attracted to (ultracar).” I’m right there with you. Attraction and identity don’t line up at all, more the fact that the former was the only thing that was solidly claimed.

  46. Shane Wegner

    If you are, that would only undermine practically your entire shtick. But props for asking the real questions.

    1. thejeff

      Undermine and explain. 🙂

  47. Lacuna

    My favorite thing about Malaya is her willingness to tell the truth – as she sees it – no matter what.

    The funniest thing about Malaya is that she says “oh no!” when she’s upset.

    1. Lacuna

      As opposed to, say, “fuck!”

    2. Jhon

      +1 for an actual admirable (if often annoying) Malaya trait.

  48. K. Ivan Ruppert

    And tomorrow she walks herself back to the place she normally inhabits, where she is the only genuine person in a world of fakers and lame-os.

    1. Jago

      Malaya is like someone I used to be friends with: ‘I’m a honest person, and not a lot of people can handle that. Sometimes people are really put off by that.’ No, dude, people dislike you because you’re a butthole. You can be honest _and_ nice.

      1. Jago

        (Didn’t even mean to post that here. Sorry! Comment section confused me.)

  49. Br44n5m

    Malaya was secretly a semi-decent Faz all along

  50. Amelie

    What? Next you’ll be talking about growing and figuring out who you are, and maybe even being allowed to do those things?!

  51. Shane Wegner

    Fakey? If you are, that would only undermine practically your entire shtick on calling others out on it almost nonstop. But props asking the real questions.

  52. Callid13

    Well, that’s not a “no”…

  53. Felian

    Well, Malaya, we all edit our lives for public consumption. And people will always just see parts of us. it’s up to you what to show to Marcie, and up to her to figure out if she likes it. Dating for a longer time will anyway bring out the less beautiful parts in us, and yes, that’s scary!

    But hey, this is the first strip where i don’t hate Malaya… that’s something. i really dig self reflection i guess…

  54. Megan

    #CALLED IT

  55. He Who Abides

    Mind . . . BLOWN!

  56. Anna

    So. Marcie is into women (and perhaps also men? not sure).

    Marcie is into Malaya, presumably because of 1) Malaya’s body; and 2) Malaya’s personality, hobbies etc.

    Malaya wonders if she really is a woman. But if she is in fact non-binary but otherwise content with her body as it is (which she seems to be) and her personality, hobbies etc as they are, why would her identification as not-a-woman change anything about Marcie’s attraction?

    Because usually, we’re not attracted to someone’s innermost identity, but to the way they move through the world and interact with people. That’s why a straight woman can fall for a gay man, for example. And why Ethan could intially crush on Jocelyn: all he saw and was presented with was an attractive man named Joshua (until he learned otherwise).

    Or am I missing something here? I’m happy to be educated on this front.

    1. Nono

      Marcie’s officially bi, yeah. She was also shown definitely being attracted to Sayid a while back.

      Anyway, there’s definitely a thing where people attach physical attractiveness to gender. People can be straight but find that the same aspects on a woman, like curvaceous hips or soft demeanour, they could find unattractive on a man. Part of it is cultural and societal (toxic masculinity was and is still a thing), but sometimes it’s just hard to dissociate the two in your brain.

      Also, Malaya and Marcie’s issues are separate. Even if Marcie would be totally fine with Malaya if she identified as male or non-binary, Malaya might still be working through it herself. Wouldn’t be fair of her to project it onto Marcie, but understandable.

      1. Felian

        Malaya seems a bit threatened that if she is liked by someone who’s into women, that must make her a woman (or seen as one). I know that feeling, but i’ve also resolved it is not my business. my gender isn’t dependant on the identity of who’s attracted to me.
        i am trans*masculine. i’ve been flirted at by a cis-male friend who seemed to reason that because he’s attracted to me, and because he is hetero, that equals me being female.
        Dude. you are attracted to me despite me not being female. That means at the very least that you are hetero with one exception.
        As long as Marcie likes Malaya for what she sees in Malaya, and doesn’t try to change Malaya into something else that fits her image, it will be fine…

      2. BarerMender

        Marcie was not shown definitely attracted to Sayid. She was shown hanging with Sayid as a friend, presumably as a fellow skate boarder. Attraction level: unknown. Sal was definitely attracted to Sayid.

    2. Sam

      Marcie is not attracted to Malaya for 2. It has always just been about ‘Malaya’s physical form is attractive to me and I would like to have sex with her’. That is why one strip’s punchline was Malaya calling Marcie a genuine friend with no ulterior motives when their friendship was in fact, built on ulterior motives.

      1. thejeff

        Well, Marcie definitely has ulterior motives, even if she also likes Malaya’s personality, hobbies etc. That’s enough for the punchline.

        1. Sam

          She has solely expressed interest in Malaya’s physical form, that was the entire point of getting close to Malaya. Sal also pointed this out in a different strip that Marcie gets different things from them alluding to Marcie’s ulterior motives even if Malaya couldn’t see that. She is physically attracted to Malaya but has not expressed actual romantic interest in her and I don’t see why she would have romantic interest either when she flatout admitted to Sal that Malaya lacks integrity so she isn’t blinded to her faults.

        2. thejeff

          OTOH, she spends a ton of time with Malaya, doing shit that they both find fun – which was commented on by Carla early on.
          And all our explicit info on what Marcie wants out of it is filtered through Sal – who isn’t exactly impartial and who Marcie may have been happier leaving it there rather talking about how she actually does like Malaya, despite her flaws, because that would have challenged Sal’s “we only need each other” thing. Which she wasn’t up for back then.
          Now though, she’s just told Sal that they can still be friends “in the same way I’m going to be friends with Malaya”, which I think makes it pretty clear that she still wants to be friends with Malaya, even if they’re not going to fuck.

  57. The Great Goblin Wizard Kazamaraz

    I FOUND YOU, FAKER!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I’ll make you eat those words.

      1. Schpoonman

        Do you know who I am?

    2. Schpoonman

      In recent news, I saw someone post a picture on Twitter of Shadow in Vergil’s DMC3 get-up, complete with Yamato, and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything in a game more than Shadow voiced by Daniel Southworth.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Meningitis is a human affliction, Sonic.

  58. DarkoNeko

    That haircut… 😐

  59. Ryek Hvek

    Next up, the entire cast performs a line dance to the music of Achy Fakey Heart

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I just don’t think they understand.

      1. JBento

        Apropos of nothing, that Malayzar gravatar is hilarious. Kudos.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Thanks. It was originally gonna be just the Shoop Da Whoop face over Malaya’s, but I figured the big red lips would probably rub folks the wrong way. Not everybody can be expected to be hip with dead memes from 2007.

  60. PSadlon

    Sal knew and sometimes openly admitted parts of her public persona were a facade though she likely wished some were true.

    Malaya just realized she’s not as open and upfront about herself as she though. Next revelation should be that includes with herself though she might continue that by blowing off the possibility.

  61. AbelUndercity

    How does it go? We hate most in others, what we despise in ourselves?

  62. DonDueed

    Malaya: actually is Spartacus.

  63. Arianod

    Don’t act surprised, Malaya: you’ve known all along.

  64. JohnF

    Here in a Commonwealth country, the term “rooting” describes sexual intercourse. So with the title “Rootin” and Sal and Malaya I was hopeful, but ultimately disappointed.

    1. Jhon

      Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, amen!

  65. Zoe

    Twist: Malaya is just really into IRL Femslash and has been “sabotaging” Sal because it interferes with her OTP.

  66. Rabisch

    HOORAY! Finally Malaya can see her major contradiction! Its time to have an existential crisis and start to questioning her own behavior? Dunno, but sure her relationship with Sal looks improved. They may become good roommates. Maybe even friends.

  67. Seregiel

    And no one is surprised this is where we are. I expect to see “called it’s” for miles around for one aspect or another of this convo and how it’s being interpreted.

    Okay – so haircut. I do not care about any individual’s issues with others orientation/presentation/etc when making this comment so I don’t want anyone restarting the Becky Hair Disaster as I’m now naming it. (I care about personal struggles not discomfort or broad dislike about other’s personal decisions). This is purely sartorial! Malaya is themself and can do whatever they want to get who they are across.

    That said: it makes them look like they are wearing a helmet perpetually and I feel like the message is “I got tired of roller derby helmet hair so I just have hair that looks like a helmet and am done with it.” Most of the people I knew that had that problem just shaved it off but Becky’s already halfway there so at least this gets us greater look diversity. Would be awesome to have a bald person in comic. finally, somewhere, a Leslie is starting to sing “never knew it could be like this” while chanting “baby [insert final identity here”] under her breath very quietly.

    1. JBento

      Yeah, “tired of the helmet messing up my hair, so I just cut the hair to fit” was the first thought that occurred to me. It doesn’t help that she seems to have given it a LOT of volume.

      There’s at least two bald characters in the comic: one is the dude that flirted with Ethan, though granted he doesn’t have many appearances. The other?

      FOOL! HOW CAN YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MIGHTY GALASSO?! ONCE MIGHTY GALASSO RULES THE DINER INDUSTRY, HE SHALL MAKE YOU PAY BY CHARGING YOU EXTRA FOR BREADSTICKS!

      1. Seregiel

        Man, I forgot them both since they have been around so rarely. I rescind my pander whine.

        1. JBento

          No, no, keep it up. Anything that ups our chances of more Galasso is heartily approved.

        2. Seregiel

          Maybe after Walky and Amber finish up with bad decision time they will recoup and talk it over at Galasso’s? That seems the place for revelations and the dumping steps are Danny’s territory.

      2. Seregiel

        The fluffy side effect could just be less weight plus humidity in new dorm due to no ac. I can’t do shorter hair without turning into a chia pet.

      3. Liquid Len

        I think you’re thinking of Thad?

        1. JBento

          Yep, him’s the one, thanks. I suck at names.

        2. Seregiel

          Rereading that, I see why I forgot him.

        3. Liquid Len

          He had a much bigger role in Shortpacked!, but now I guess he’s mainly background.

        4. Seregiel

          If any small time character was going to enter the plot Right Now, I’d want to to be Sayid. Because Marcie and Sal were both into that, he works at the meeting ground that is Glasslos and knows Becky from her one working there. All plots can merge into one drama blob and boil over deliciously.

    2. Roborat

      It never occurred to me that it might be derby helmet related, you might be onto something there. But I really do like her haircut, it looks good on her.

  68. FacelessDeviant

    Goodbye, Malayas eyebrows.

    But yeah, fakey and abrasive. A rough combo.

  69. Vulcanodon

    Yes you are, Malaya. But don’t feel bad; pretty much everyone has a reason to keep their real selves hidden. I just hope you take this opportunity to learn to be kind about it. As a friend once told me, “People have their defenses because they need them.”

  70. Bagge

    I like the confirmation that Malaya ships Sal and Marcie

    1. BBCC

      Same.

  71. Robin Lionheart

    Isn’t that always the way? People criticizing others for what they most dislike in themselves.

  72. SonicBlueRanger

    That feeling when you base your entire personality off calling out other people’s fakeness only to realize you’re just as fake.

  73. rustfire

    I’d take Malaya more seriously if she just said poseurs instead of fakey, but I guess the idea is exactly the same

    1. BenRG

      I wonder if Malaya would argue that using a ‘refined’ term like ‘poseur’ is, in itself, fakey? XD

      1. rustfire

        I don’t think of it as that refined, its real common lingo in the punk scene. Calling someone a poseur is like the nastiest insult a punk can tell another punk. So that word would feel way more real to me.

  74. TheFlamingonator

    “Gasp! People create ideas of others and the people who are put into categories aren’t 1000% genuinely just one Thing?”

    All jokes aside I am quite Done with Malayas attitude. I hope this epiphany helps her dial back her assholery a smidge.

  75. wakeangel2001

    from her I get that she’s mean and contrarian, I don’t know if I ever got a faker vibe from her though

  76. PB

    But it WASN’T a dream, Auntie Em, it was real! 😀

    (For real been waiting for this for a loooong time. And I know I’m not alone, reading the comments.)

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Did we ever get a real verdict on whether the Witch of the West was a racist caricature?

      1. Jago

        That was a thing?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Something about her being green, last I saw.

        2. Reaver

          Verdict is in: People are dumb

        3. Emperor Norton II

          https://twitter.com/Iron_Spike/status/1129178639420071936

          There. That link tells you about the green-ness not being an anti-semite thing…

          …but how practically everything about the Wicked Witch -was- meant to be a misogynistic thing.

        4. Seregiel

          If you read the comments there are a lot of people not agreeing with her and explaining how it’s still also antisemetic.

  77. etherealdesiign

    i wonder if we’re ever going to figure out where malaya’s neurotic hatred of perceived “fakeyness” comes from…

    also: damn, been following this comic for years and only now actually made a comment. hello world!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Your Grav appears to be some form of Joyce-adjacent. You’ll do well here.

      1. etherealdesiign

        i was torn between finding the most ridiculous robin, the angriest joyce, or the most adorable joyce, but neither the angry joyces i found nor the one of Robin wearing leslie’s Gaypron had easily cropped dialogue. so, here we are.

    2. Jhon

      As long as you read the comments before you post, you’ll be fine.

  78. Emperor Norton II

    Narrator:

    The answer was “yes” in more ways than she could possibly realise in one go.

  79. Author X

    ALL ABOARD THE GENDER TRAIN

    Or, well, perhaps off the gender train, whichever is appropriate.

    1. Author X

      More seriously, though, it seems like Malaya’s starting to feel some guilt or self-doubt based on the fact that Marcie’s attracted to women and also attracted to her (as Carla put it). As obnoxious as Malaya can be (and even setting aside that Marcie has been attracted to non-women before)… that’s not her fault, and I hope she realizes that (or Sal even tells her that). Marcie didn’t tell her “hey I want to hang out because I am attracted to you because of your perceived womanhood”, she just hung out (as far as she communicated) because she wanted to be friends, so Malaya didn’t do anything misleading to cause that, she was just Being Malaya.

      Maybe if Marcie had made that clear and Malaya had not told her she wasn’t interested (or that Marcie was making assumptions with her interest) that could be called “fakey” but… hoo boy, gender and gender presentation are complicated, and I sure can’t fault someone for not being clear to others on their presentation when they aren’t clear on it themselves. And even if she did know, and was in the closet, it’s not her duty to disclose that to anybody that she’s not interested in dating (Marcie’s one-sided interest doesn’t count, either).

      So…. I dunno, Malaya can be grating but I hope she doesn’t start feeling guilty about this, in particular. But maybe if she does figure out why she feels like a big fake, she’ll be less antagonistic about other people? Who knows.

  80. TheHabbadasher

    Take care, ye who drops pennies, that the penny does not drop on thee.

  81. WingedBeast

    Yes, Malaya, yes you are.

    Nothing to do with gender, though. Just from the constant need to one-up everybody with how not-fake and rebel you are.

  82. raaabr

    First about this comic: A moment of self-realization. Hopefully it sticks! It’s been pretty clear she’s projecting a hell of a lot with her hang-ups about authenticity, so this is the first step in that case.

    Second: I imagine Willis doesn’t control ads on the site (Probably hiveworks?) but I have ad personalization off, and no matter how often I try clicking the close ad button and telling google that the ad is inappropriate, it keeps showing this collection of 5 very obviously NSFW lewd manga/light novels, complete with a basically naked lady, and something about…Renta? And it’s really making me awkward.

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