143

Rules
Posted on August 30, 2020 by David M Willis

143 thoughts on “Rules”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Danny’s gonna Dan

    but THIS time, nothing gets Damned up

    1. Ana Chronistic

      Danned

      Thanks phone

      1. butts

        no, damned sounds right

        1. Stephen Bierce

          *plays a track from The Damned on the hacked Muzak*

        2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Danny is no longer Danny; Danny is Hat Guy now. Which means finally that he won’t be Danning any more stuff up, instead he’ll be…hatting it? xD I dunno where I was going with that one. xP

        3. kendermage

          If Danny is semi-autobiographical, is garbage roof also?

        4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Yes. But consider though…perhaps Garbage Roof is not just a place, but also a state of mind. 😀

    2. Deanatay

      Apparently, Danny comes pre-Garbaged.

      “Danning Roof” just doesn’t sound the same.

      “Hat Guy Roof”?

      1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        Or maybe as Danny is pre-Garbaged, Danny should change his name not to Hat Guy, but to Garbage (Roof) Guy? xD

    3. InTheory

      To me as an ASD, Danny appears to be every bit as ASD as Dina, so why is she adorable but Danny is a dufus?

  2. BBCC

    I mean, yeah, Danny coming here would’ve been useful this afternoon.

  3. Mollyscribbles

    Bit of a let down this wasn’t tagged “Hat guy”

    1. brionl

      Agreed. I am dissapoint.

  4. butts

    You thought it was hat guy, but it was I, Danny!

    1. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

      Thank you for this! I was hoping someone would!

    2. SuperFroakie82

      Danny gains the ability to Dan things up so hard that it overloads everyone’s brains, causing them to freeze as if time had stopped.

  5. Foxhack

    … Let’s hope Ethan doesn’t show up, because drama.

    1. River

      The quick escape might come in handy.

      1. Foxhack

        We don’t need Danny in a coma too!

    2. RowenMorland

      Maybe Garbage Roof rules are what Ethan and Danny need to air things out.

      1. clif

        Normally I’d be giving low odds of Amber not inviting Ethan, but she knows he’s camping out at the hospital.

  6. Tirachokko

    BIG GARBAGE TIMEEEEEEEEEEE

    1. Tirachokko

      dammit, i shoulda said “iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s gARBAGE TIME!”

      1. Tirachokko

        also, danny, you named yourself hat guy when you decided to rebrand yourself as the guy who wears a newsboy cap.

        1. Regalli

          He’d much rather be ukulele guy.

      2. a/snow/mous/e

        pupupupupu~!
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edLOAiPSt5Q

  7. Doctor_Who

    “Sal, what’s your garbage trait you are ashamed of?”

    “Sometimes I’m too awesome.”

    1. Spriteless Girl

      “Ah like country music”

      1. Zor

        Her one flaw

        1. He Who Abides

          Depends. Stuff before 9/11 is palatable, after 9/11 is garbage.

          Still not my favorite genre, but not gonna make me rip my ears off either.

        2. Falcon

          I like to give country music Johnny Cash even though he doesn’t strictly fit, just so there’s at least one country singer I like to listen to.

        3. Bicycle Bill

          There is still good country music once you get past all the ‘we’re gonna kick some ass’ and the ‘how terrible it was when someone done that to us’ songs that came out right afterwards.

          About the only genre I will not listen to is the chanting, not singing, to a bass beat that is known ‘rap’ — the correct spelling of which is ‘crap’ (the ‘c’ is silent).

        4. clif

          I don’t listen to it as a rule, and have as limited a tolerance for listening to it for very long as I have for heavy metal, but I have to recognize that they are doing some very interesting things with rhyme and rhythm.

        5. clif

          With reference to rap.

        6. He Who Abides

          I like some rap.

          It’s better than “Christian (insert musical genre here)” any day of the week.

        7. clif

          You do realize that Christian Rap is a thing?

        8. He Who Abides

          I do until I bust out the Irish brain bleach.

        9. thejeff

          I’m not fond of it either, but I recognize that’s because I’m old and white. 🙂

        10. Chris

          In European-tradition singing, the human voice doubles as a wind instrument. In rap, it doubles as percussion.

    2. 3-I

      “Trainin’ wheels.”

  8. Jane

    I kind of feel like this strip should be tagged “Hat Guy” instead of “Danny”…

  9. Cattleprod

    Someone introducing themself that way feels very Marvel Transformers.

    1. Regalli

      I, Regalli, have no idea what you’re talking about!

      *Awkwardly transforms into a Transformers-branded Easy Bake oven and back to demonstrate toyetic properties*

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Dan, you know how you could fix your danning things up? Apologize and use a filter from now on.

    Honestly, is there any hope for Danny?

    1. Regalli

      I figure there’s hope for all the kids in the strip who are actual characters (and not Dramatically Convenient Evil to be stabbed or punching bags for the action sequences,) except maybe Mary. I mean, Faz revealed he’s an actual character and not just an irritatingly inappropriate punchline, after all.

      Now whether any of them take any given self-awareness rope and climb out of the pit… different question.

    2. DailyBrad

      There’s honestly a lot of hope for him. Way moreso than fucking Walkyverse Danny, at least, man that guy.

    3. Spencer

      There’s hope for Danny and his name is Sayid.

    4. Sam

      Yes, but it requires him to actually introspect about why and how it went wrong instead of just going ‘well, I screwed that up!’ and throwing his hands in the air as if there is absolutely no way to work out why he decided to act like that or how to prevent it happening again.

  11. Nono

    Oh, this should be good.

    Amber should also add that the unspoken rule of Garbage Roof is that people can’t riff on you for your bad decisions.

    1. Lieutenant Dan

      But then it wouldn’t be unspoken, would it?

      1. clif

        Previously unspoken rule.

  12. danielle

    he’s ‘hat guy’ now

  13. Alex Boston

    Danny has found his place! Now he just has to stay here forever. People could organize rotations to bring him food and water, and maybe they could set up a toilet and shower up there.

    1. Geneseepaws

      No shower needed, it’ll rain soon enough.
      It always rains on Hat Guy’s parade.

  14. Dr T

    I mean, it’s kind of a dick move on Joyce’s part to keep calling him that when he told her he doesn’t like and that he knows she knows her name.

    1. Geneseepaws

      You are correct, except it’s garbage roof, and Joyce can be Joyce, even if she Dannys it up.

    2. nobilis

      Also, it’s kind of a karmic comeback for this.

      1. clif

        Also friendly teasing is allowed. Though it’s a fine line.

  15. Newllend(henryvolt)

    I really hope Danny being honest about himself is just him coming out about his bisexual angst and how jealousy tends to sometimes make him petty enough to say or do stupid things despite his good egg title.

    1. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

      Danny coming out as bisexual to Amber would sure be something! I have no idea what her reaction would be! (I really don’t need Joyce’s reaction, though, or any other character having the, “you can’t like boys and girls; is there even a word for that?” reaction again.) He probably shouldv’e had that convo with Dorothy by now, but, y’know, it’s Danny.

      If Walky reacts by jokingly hitting on him, though, it will be worth it!

      1. Regalli

        Danny has actually had the conversation with Dorothy ages ago, which helped him process things since it was new and confusing to him!

        Becky and Joyce seem to have accepted ‘you can like guys AND girls?’ since they went to church with Sierra and she came out as pan to them (in a Patreon strip soon after Becky joined the cast); it hasn’t been a source of embarrassing fundie awkwardness since.

        1. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

          I mean this angst conversation:
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/bangst/

      2. Deanatay

        Amber would probably strike the same deal with Danny that she did with Ethan: She will require extensive documentation of every act.

  16. C.T Phipps

    Joyce: I don’t like you so I don’t learn your name.

    Dan: BUT YOU LOVED ME IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!

    1. Regalli

      Look, that was a bad time for everyone involved, Danny. Joyce, you, Sal, Billie… you can all do better than that, this time around. You can all be better than that.

    2. drs

      Joyce: That was the dog.

    3. Deanatay

      The last panel is Joyce enjoying the privilege of Garbage Roof to its fullest. Ordinarily, she would have just not said anything to him.

      Up here, Joyce is free to darn Gosh, or even frick you all off

  17. Octopus Ink

    Danny is just gonna be “Hat Guy” from now on.
    No other cat-bearer (other than Mighty Max or Jervis Tetch) will be acknowledged.

  18. Reltzik

    … his name’s Rick, right?

    Hi, Hat-Rick! (Man, you’re such a turkey.)

    *flees from the zero people who got that pun*

    1. JetstreamGW

      Hat Trick: Doing the same successful thing three times in a row.

      Turkey: Bowling, three strikes in a row.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Why Bowling Three Strikes in a Row Is Called a “Turkey”

        This is thought to have its origins in bowling tournament prizes.  Late eighteenth and early nineteenth century prizes given out during these tournaments were often food items, such as a basket filled with various grocery items, a large ham, or the like.  Particularly around Thanksgiving in the United States, turkeys became common prizes.  At some point (no one knows the exact first instance), one tournament decided to give away a turkey to people who managed to bowl three strikes in a row.  This practice spread and eventually embedded itself in common bowling vernacular, long after giving away actual turkeys stopped.

        You might wonder how those individuals running tournaments managed to make any money at all when they were giving away a turkey every time someone bowled three strikes in a row, let alone prizes for other accomplishments.  After all, even complete amateurs can achieve that feat on occasion, and those who are skilled can do it with some regularity.

        But in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, bowling three strikes in a row was extremely hard to do owing to the fact that they didn’t have nearly the refined, pristine lanes we’re used to today.  Furthermore, the pins were set up by hand, sometimes in a not-quite uniform fashion; bowling balls tended not to be well balanced; and people running the tournaments would often use tricks, such as adding weight in the bottoms of the pins to make them harder to knock down, or blatantly illegal tactics like not setting up a full rack (although it sounds easier to knock down only nine pins rather than all then, as a former pinboy myself I know that removing the inner 5-pin from the set-up makes it almost impossible to bowl a strike).  So bowling three strikes in a row was exceptionally hard to do, even for those who were highly skilled.

        1. Geneseepaws

          Why do they call the little ones duck pins?

        2. Bicycle Bill

          Because they are shorter and fatter, like ducks sitting on the water.  They are also lighter and a smaller hand-held ball (without fingerholes) is used, making it harder to knock them down.  There are also candlepins, which are basically tall, narrow cylinders, and are bowled with a ball similar to a duckpin ball.

          side-by-side comparison of the three pins and balls, along with rules for duckpin bowling

    2. Jamie

      Ah, see, I thought the pun was “hatrack” and didn’t understand the turkey reference as a result.

      1. JetstreamGW

        I’ve actually seen this exact pun (almost) before.

        A comic where a dude was talking about getting 3 strikes (bowling). Another guy said “You’re out!” and his friend replies “That’s a hat trick, you turkey.”

  19. KSClaw

    No Danny, you are hat guy now.

  20. JessWitt

    Oh Danny, don’t take the garbage roof rules to heart reiterate the hospital conversation to Ethan.

    1. JessWitt

      *heart and

    2. DailyBrad

      I mean, unless he wants Sarah to probably give him a fist bump.

  21. Jonah Sanville

    i see dannys tagged but all im seeing is “hat guy”

  22. Bagge

    I love how Dorothy just let the background snark and smartassery fly by her in panel two while she’s waiting for amber to answer.

  23. rachel

    change the tag to hat guy coward

  24. abacuswizard

    We are all Hat Guy sometimes.

  25. NinjaNick

    Hi, hat guy.

  26. SuperFroakie82

    Once Danny eventually removes the hat (I hope) he will just become guy.

    1. Geneseepaws

      Become Guy? Or Change into Some Guy, transformer style? Or actually become Just Some Guy?

    2. BenRG

      No, he’ll be Danny and Joyce will ask where Hat Guy has gone, raising the possibility that she is somehow psychologically incapable of seeing Danny and Danny wearing a hat as the same guy.

    3. Bagge

      He will still have his ukulele

    4. StClair

      “Do I? DO I? For all you know, I’m ‘Crewman Number Six’!”

    5. Rheinman

      He could adopt a ‘orrible Quebecois accent and become Guy. Then he and Ruth could argue hockey teams.

  27. Valdrax

    Danny at Garbage Roof is gonna be like a guy who brings a knife to Fight Club.

  28. Rikunda

    I don’t know if Joyce is ready to find out about bisexuals. She has come a long way with gay and lesbian but… I think bisexual might be too much for her. “Wait so you are straight and gay?!”.

    1. He Who Abides

      Apparently there’s a Patreon strip where she finds out about, and is cool with, pansexuality. I doubt bisexuality would be that difficult for her to accept.

    2. timemonkey

      She’s already aware of Ruth and Billie.

  29. BenRG

    I wonder if Joyce will ever learn Danny’s name or if it will just keep slithering out of her mind as if there were some kind of magical censorship in action?

  30. Nelly Dreadful

    Poor Danny’s like Perry the Platypus to Joyce’s Doofenshmirtz, but in reverse.

  31. clif

    So here on one roof we have Amazigirl, the Ding-Dong Bandit, Hat Guy, Future President, Generically Beige, and …

    Am I missing anyone?

    1. Jamie

      I’m… not sure who Generically Beige refers to, but if it’s all three black people present then that’s a little uncool.

      1. SuperFroakie82

        I’m pretty sure Walky referred to himself as that at some point.

      2. BBCC

        It’s a reference to Walky, who called himself that a few years ago (as opposed to his sister, who he IDs as Black).

      3. Bicycle Bill

        Self-reference by Walky.  Joyce rather clumsily questions Walky about the ethnic makeup of he and Sal (“…what, um, flavor of human you two are?”) here, and he states that while his sister is black, he is ‘generically beige’.

        1. thejeff

          One of our first hints about the racial issues in that family.

    2. Keulen

      Walky could also be Night Guy or The Duke of Thingley.

      1. clif

        How could I forget Duke of Thingley.

    3. Kamino Neko

      Angry Girl and Cool Chick.

  32. The Lurker

    FEELS LIKE THE END OF THE STORY LINE!

  33. Keulen

    From now on I’m going to assume if Danny ever becomes a superhero his superhero name will be Hat Guy.

    1. SuperFroakie82

      I thought it was Wonderbread

      1. Kamino Neko

        I don’t think Danny wants to cut down the rainforest.

        (And if you don’t get that reference…I envy you.)

  34. SpaceshipPilot

    Is Hat Guy Hat Kid’s older cousin, or another alias of Black Hat Guy?

    1. RowenMorland

      Maybe Danny is their origin story.

  35. Peter

    Too bad Danny wasn’t on Garbage Roof when he said what was on his mind, earlier.

  36. DarkoNeko

    it’s pretty windy up there

    1. BenRG

      It’s narrative magic; the focus characters at an emotional crossroads need their hair and/or capes swept by a convenient wind! If I were there, I’d be looking out for the first hint of some kind of musical interlude starting. Probably a romantic one. So that I could Michael Palin and scream: “No singing!!!”

  37. Eskimolos

    Dumbiverse danny and Joyce dynamic never stops being amusing when considered from walkyverse.

  38. Rabisch

    Danny has finally found his place in the world! Now is time for all of them to say something, just to test that this will not end up in a huge fight between them.

  39. Eska

    It will always be funny that Joyce in this universe couldn’t care less about Danny.

  40. BenRG

    I do hope that, at some point, Joyce tells Danny that she just likes calling him ‘Hat Guy’. Danny then has to decide if he’s happy for Joyce to join Sal in the ranks of girls who have cute pet names for him or if he wishes to stand up for his name and a clear sense of self-identity.

  41. hof1991

    Today’s recommended reading.
    The man who mistook his wife for a hat and other clinical tales By Oliver Sacks. Not fiction, but a look at how brains function by examining unusual clinical cases.

  42. FacelessDeviant

    Ah, Dan is here to stress test the garbage roof to the limits!

    1. Bagge

      The master has arrived

  43. Jake'm

    It’s definitely a point of interest that he felt the need to announce his own name in that sentence.

  44. Eldritchy

    Easy there Danny. Remember you Are on the roof. Accidents happen.

  45. thumb

    Danny playing second fiddle to both Joyce and Walky will never not be funny.

    1. Bagge

      He’s playing the ukulele, silly

      (But yes, I agree)

  46. Deanatay

    Everybody from the dorm party is here, now – Except Ethan. And Jacob and Raidah, I suppose.

    1. Deanatay

      Drat, no – Becky and Billie aren’t here, either.

      Neither is Ruth, I’m way off.

      1. He Who Abides

        Or Dina.

    2. Spencer

      Jacob might be down for Garbage Roof considering what went on with Joyce and his brother.

  47. bcb

    Okay, crossover between Dumbing of Age and XKCD coming right up! Danny vs Black Hat Guy!

    1. a/snow/mous/e

      rip danny

  48. Keith Curtis

    I thought Danny _wanted_ to be Hat Guy??? Or was it Ukelele Guy? Whatever, he’s a Good Egg.

  49. Major Matt Mason

    Besides, Hat Guy is ALWAYS Michael Nesmith.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      But that was always a stocking hat, also called a ‘toque’ (see Stan and Doug MacKenzie in “The Great White North” skits on SCTV).  Was Michael Nesmith Canadian?

  50. Spencer

    Danny Did Nothing Wrong

    1. clif

      What do you call being attracted to Ethan and not Sayid?

  51. Juanoku

    More like Danny roof

  52. Victor Riley

    I feel like this is going to ruin Garbage Roof.

    Now that so many people know about it, when some folks want to go and feel like Garbage, certain folks are going to try and “cheer them up” so they don’t feel like Garbage… which is the opposite of Garbage Roof.

    Garbage Roof is to feel your feelings, no matter what they are. Sometimes, people need that. Sometimes, we want it.

  53. Falcon

    I love Dorothy’s incisive yet respectful approach.

    1. Bagge

      That’s the Dotty we know and love.

  54. JA

    Nope, Danny is now Hat Guy.

    Wait, is Danny cool enough to be Hat Guy? xkcd already has Hat Guy, and Danny is not like xkcd Hat Guy.

  55. Dedlok

    You know, I read this, forgot that Hat Guy said his name. Finished it, thought “Wait… He said his name? When?” Glanced through the final panel 3 times and didn’t see it. Gave up. Then decided to look again then finally saw it again.

    The joke is becoming too real.

  56. Roborat

    Why do I get the feeling that garbage roof is going to turn into the hotel room in “A Night at the Opera”?

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