400

Ryan
Posted on September 20, 2016 by David M Willis

400 thoughts on “Ryan”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    wear heelies to escapepursue your feeliesquarries

    1. Ana Chronistic

      as long as Transmetal Amazi-Girl doesn’t operate like this

      1. Wheelpath

        Does she already have vacuum metalized plastic?

        1. Clif

          I just want to know how she afforded a cool accessory like that. (Of course if transforming skates are a standard kids toy now, my comment is going to look stupid.)

        2. Lan

          I like to believe it’s a variant on the Heelies thing. She applied enough pressure and shook out the wheels. You can get heelies for what a solid 50 bucks?

        3. All-Purpose Guru

          Old guy here. Heelies are just the latest incarnation of hidden roller skates. I used to have a pair of quads just like AmberAmazi-Girl’s that were actuated by pressing a button on the side of the sole, below the arch support.

          They didn’t work very well, but yes, they were badass.

        4. TachyonCode

          Maybe you can enlighten me – why’re they so goshdanged hard to find in varieties that can support adults who aren’t stick figures?

        5. Sarda

          Because the market is small and the way those work necessarily means less structural stability if you’re not willing to spend a lot on design.

        6. TachyonCode

          Clearly she’s in cahoots with Carla.

        7. PlutoniumBoss

          Or she bought a product that Carla’s parents designed for their own daughter and marketed on the side because it’s way cool.

        8. TachyonCode

          I could see that happening. Carla as the next Jayden, only cooler.

    2. Shaunock

      Is it bad that as a 30 year old I covet heelies more than most other things?

      1. Durandal_1707

        The first thing that came to my mind when I saw today’s comic was Inspector Gadget, which is a reference I think you *have* to be in your 30s to get.

        1. Valerie

          I know Inspector Gadget I’m 26.

        2. a snow ʍousɐ

          I do too, and I’m 20. Saw the movie first, then eventually started watching the animated series :p

        3. Carriethedragon

          I was about to chime in and say that even someone younger than 20 can recognize it as well, because I still perceive myself as being the kid on the internet in these sorts of discussions. But then I realized I also am 20.

        4. Robin

          Don’t worry, under-20 here to prove you right

        5. Paul

          And I’m 52, just to chime in on the age part and to let everyone know that the dumbing never stops! Ha-ha, I kill me.

        6. a snow ʍousɐ

          I can’t believe it either, how the hell am I a junior in college already?

        7. SgtWadeyWilson

          Nah, it gets reruns and new shows pretty regularly. I remember the psychotic live-action movies and watched the Netflix series pretty much instantly when it came out.

        8. Undrave

          Actually there’s recent CGI Inspector Gadget show currently airing on Teletoon and streaming on Netflix. Tara Strong plays a teenaged Penny. It’s… passable? Feels like everyone got dumber since the 80s though.

        9. Durandal_1707

          Everyone got… dumber? Wasn’t the main premise of that show that everyone besides Penny and the dog were barely smart enough to remember to breathe?

        10. Makkabee

          “Everyone got… dumber? Wasn’t the main premise of that show that everyone besides Penny and the dog were barely smart enough to remember to breathe?”

          That’s why I hated the show. It took the premise of “Get Smart” (the gadget-laden hero who wasn’t nearly as clever as he thought he was) and flanderized it past the point where the title character was sympathetic. When the bad guy’s henchmen wore the evil organization logo on their chests and Gadget still didn’t get it… too grotesque. Whenever I watched it I felt like they were saying “Get Smart is too subtle for you and you’re WAY too dumb to get the joke, so here, we’ll make it as obvious as we can because you’re almost as stupid as Gadget.”

          Even as a child I knew when my intelligence was being insulted.

        11. thomas wrobel

          The theme tune rocked though.

        12. Scoutinthenight

          That’s because the theme is a sped up “In the Hall of the Mountain King”.

        13. Undrave

          It is NOT ‘In the Hall of the Mountain King’. The new show’s theme song is a sped up ‘In the Hall of the Mountain King’ though and it sounds nothing like either of the old show’s theme song (English and French). It’s a mistake even the maker of the new show make, but they’re clearly not the same.

        14. kendermouse

          I adored that show as a kid, *because* Penny was the smart one. I wanted to be like her.

        15. foamy

          Hey, the Chief wasn’t THAT dumb, the universe just hated him.

        16. Ana Chronistic

          well if he’d stop with the self-destructing notes

        17. Needfuldoer

          You mean on the show, or in general?

        18. Undrave

          On the show! Penny actually got dumber and Dr. Claw is like a less threatening Ice King in a purple suit!

        19. HatFullOSky

          In your 30’s? I’m 16 and I know what you’re talking about.
          It’s hard to forget theme music that awesome…
          And I, too, covet my Heelies, battered and pink though they may be.

        20. Sudden Clarity Clarence

          My son is 4 and knows more about Inspector Gadget than I ever will.

        21. Tenn

          I am an unfertilized egg, and I, too, love Inspector Gadget. #UnbornInTheWrongTime

        22. No I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet

          I bet he doesn’t understand “Inspector Gadget? I barely know her!”, though.

        23. Abel Undercity

          Me, I saw the roller skates and the first thing I thought of was one of Iron Man’s more regrettable armor upgrades.

        24. Heather Jean

          Me too, but I remember them as part of his original armor, before it was two-tone and possibly even when it was still all-gray.
          I must be old. OTOH, I remember the Gadget cartoons.

        25. thejeff

          Yeah, they were early. Gold suit at least.
          Never used very often, but they kept making comebacks.

        26. Daibhid C

          First thing I thought of as well. In particular that bit in Iron Man Armoured Adventures which mocks it, by having Tony thinking they’re cool and everyone else disagreeing.

        27. EvilMidnightLurker

          Second thing, here. First was Card Captor Sakura.

          (go go gadget clow cards)

        28. A_Lad_Insane

          I’m well over 30, but I have the appropriate response.

          “Go-Go Amazi-girl Rocket Skates!”

      2. Silly Name

        Not at all. I’m younger than you (19), but still old enough that it’s not socially acceptable for me to wear heelies.

        But I want them. They’re what I wanted through my childhood, and I can’t have them!

        1. kendermouse

          Unless the answer is “because I can’t afford them”, or something to do with a physical disability, there is no good reason for you not to have them. Don’t let yourself be trapped by societal convention!

        2. Silly Name

          You have a point, though I’m not even sure heelies are produced in my size. I wear a 12 (US Standard)/46 (European Standard), and I already have trouble when I have to shop for normal shoes. Don’t know if they even make heelies that big, considering they are marketed to children.

        3. ety

          Apparently, yes! and it looks like they even go up to size men’s 13 supposedly.

          http://shop.heelys.com/adults

        4. ety

          Seriously, several people were regularly wearing heelys in college when I was there.

      3. Mara

        Now I want heelies, too.
        And I’m not far away from 40 …

        1. wotsthisollabout

          i’m into the later parts of my 40s, and i know that if i get them, i’ll just break something…

        2. Ana Chronistic

          I got inlines just because I realized no one could stop me… twisted my ankle pretty bad going over a slight bump and couldn’t use ’em again =p

          yeah I guess I stopped me

        3. Shaunock

          Never stop believing.

    3. FireSTK

      Like…for real that used to be one of Iron Man’s ways of getting around.

  2. darkoneko

    Well that escalated quickly

    1. Emperor Norton II

      You mean that axle-lated quickly.

      1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        Did either of them get the number plate of that escape vehicle?

        1. darkoneko

          They may get it once/if Sal pursue too on her bike.

        2. miados

          memorize it while you chase it down ag just in case.

        3. Clif

          I don’t think either of them could read the plate number on account of the panel being too small to hold that much detail.

        4. Jason

          No one here has that much common sense ROFL… Speaking of the “escape vehicle”, was that guy’s brilliant plan to rescue Ryan “run them both down with the car, and hope Ryan survives and manages to get in the car”? 😉

      2. Emperor Norton II

        And I bet we all wonder how AmaziGirl will revolve this situation.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Obviously, I meant to ask how AG wheel revolve this situation.

        2. Reltzik

          That’s sounds less obvious and more like post-hoc spin.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Don’t be so negative, just roll with it.

    2. achallenger

      ryan may be the piece of shit, so how did he get so many awesome friends? willing to brawl a super (for all the wrong reasons but do they know it?) and to pull epic roadside pickup for no reason other than he called and requested it. still need AG to show him whatfor, but ignoring what side of morality they are on, have you ever tried to scoop someone into a car faster than two epic badassess can pull themselves up off the tarmac? that shit takes practice

      1. Thevoiceoftreason

        Its not easy to get roofies, Ryan might be the only supplier in town.

      2. snogglethorpe

        I suppose the implication may be that they’ve had plenty of practice… :/

      3. Kit Gossamer

        If you’re forced to walk down Frat Row in any college town enough times, you see it in real life. Terrible bros love other terrible bros.

        1. All-Purpose Guru

          True dat. I went to the a school where frat row was pretty much exactly like you see in Animal House and there were houses where my female friends just simply. did. not. go.

        2. Harvey Janus

          Someone found an entire bottle of vodka that had been roofied on frat row at my college.

  3. miados

    wheelies!

    1. -Sentinel-

      I wonder how they activate… Is there a remote control inside her glove?

      1. philip

        You close your eyes. Tap your heels together 3 times and say these words:

        “Gotta go fast.
        Gotta go faster.
        Gotta go faster.
        Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster.”

        1. Durandal_1707

          You just say “Go Go Gadget Rollerskates.”

        2. miados

          then you get skis.

        3. SgtWadeyWilson

          And probably some sort of rocket.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          Don’t forget the shark repellant.

        5. Darkoneko

          Wrong shooow

        6. Orion Fury

          Or a finger screwdriver.

  4. Doctor_Who

    Go-Go Amazi-Skates!

    1. inqntrol

      Go-Go Amazi-Copter!…..wait

      1. miados

        didn’t she want to invest in an amazi cycle at one point?

        1. ety

          When Sal drove away?

        2. Amazi-Stool

          Indeed!

    2. Julie

      Pfft. I’ll be impressed when she busts out the ROCKET skates.

  5. buddy

    both, sal. doi.

  6. ety

    Amazi-Girl is prepared for ANYTHING!

  7. Schpoonman

    And now they have a hit and run in the books.

    1. miados

      and ryans name and knows he interns for delsanto. seems like a good bit of starting to get him well known for his behavior.

      1. Fart Captor

        If only either of them was friends with Roz, she could probably get his full name

    2. Woobie

      I still don’t think they were hit, just hit the dirt to avoid the car.

      1. Fart Captor

        They weren’t. If they’d been hit, their legs would have been knocked backwards as they went over the hood. Sal pulled them back out of the car’s way and fell over.

        Apparently, that’s what the driver was going for.

    3. Reltzik

      Also, no one’s going to the cops.

      No, Amazi-girl’s about to get agressive, inline with the beatdown she laid on…

      …. wait, no, those are the wrong type of skates for that.

  8. AnvilPro

    The sun hasn’t even risen yet. This is gonna be a long day

  9. Siddlaw

    DRAW SPEED LINES TO MAKE YOU GO FASTER!

    1. Orion Fury

      Don’t forget about the red paint!

      1. Needfuldoer

        And racing stripes!

        Regular stickers will each add 3 horsepower, logos of manufacturers whose parts aren’t installed are worth +10.

  10. EdHead

    THAT’S GOTTA BE BL- OH GODDAMNIT

  11. NinjaNick

    Amazi-Girl’s skates need rocket boosters.

    1. detective boomwolf

      Thats the first rule of secret roller skate shoes.

      1. Reltzik

        I thought the first rule was not to accidentally trigger them while running down the auditorium lecture hall stairwell to your seat.

    2. Mollyscribbles

      A grappler to attach herself to the car she’s chasing might do in a pinch.

      1. qlx

        That didn’t work out so well last time

        1. Fart Captor

          Sure it did! It just ALMOST went catastrophically bad

        2. Clif

          It would have been fine if the driver hadn’t leaned out the window.

        3. Reltzik

          She still would have left spiderwebs on another car’s windshield, broken her alter’s glasses, and ended up bleading from her head.

  12. frogger44

    Chasing vehicles doesn’t really end well for AG.

    1. Reltzik

      To be fair, it doesn’t end well for the vehicles either.

      1. Orion Fury

        Doesn’t end well for those getting chased, too.

  13. Deimir

    And then inevitably she’ll get her Transmetal 2 form, which ruins everything.

    1. Undrave

      She’d get a kickass healing factor out of it though.

      1. Orion Fury

        But then a whiny emo attitude out of it though.

    2. Deanatay

      Isn’t Transmetal Amazi-Girl basically Schtickshift?

  14. Raibean

    I ship it

  15. poofdepoof

    Amazigirl has such a good track record with car chases! This can only end well ^_^

  16. Stephen R. Bierce

    Let it roll, baby roll!–ALL NIGHT LONG–The Doors

  17. Opus the Poet

    Ridiculously badass.

    1. Dean

      Riduculass.

      1. JessWitt

        That’s a great porn name actually.

        1. miados

          took me a bit to realize it wouldn’t be a cheesy hero name. redicu-lass”

        2. Disloyal Subject

          It could be both. And either way, Ridicu-lass would probably get called Ridicul-ass all the time, whether as a joke, an insult, or just Freudian slips.

    2. Mister gray

      It’s badiculous

      1. Orion Fury

        So badiculous.

  18. Cattleprod

    Damn, I nearly made a comment yesterday about them needing Carla’s help because an evil car was introduced, and now roller skates are an important plot point.

    1. Kernanator

      You inadvertently had a vision of the future.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      What do you think the odds are that the roller-skate boots are in fact a Ruttech patent?

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Or at least a Ruttech prototype?

    3. Mollyscribbles

      Carla needs replacement skates first.

    4. butts

      Over in her dorm room, Carla is blushing and she doesn’t know why.

      1. Deanatay

        *achoo*!

  19. Saki

    By the end of this comic we’ll have seen all the characters in rollers. This thought is very satisfying and also successful at distracting me from freaking RYAN getting AWAY AGAIN.

    1. Undrave

      He’s got some serious supervillain escape skills he’s wasting on being a pathetic rapist…

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      I really didn’t need you giving me Solarbabies flashbacks…

    3. Reltzik

      Look at it this way. He didn’t actually get away last time. The most times he can get away is once.

  20. -Sentinel-

    Dunno if this has been asked before, but wasn’t Ryan’s name already known? He gave it to Joyce, didn’t he?

    Well, at least we know he used his real name.

    1. Leorale

      He actually managed not to mention his name to Joyce (word of God). But the drugs messed up her memory of that evening anyway.

      1. -Sentinel-

        Ah, my mistake. I could have sworn Joyce knew his name.

        1. segnosaur

          I thought so too. So I went back and reviewed the strips from their first meeting, and its true… Ryan never mentions his name.

        2. Roborat

          Maybe she looked down and read the tags?

    2. Idontcarenomore

      From the look on AG’s face, she did not know it.

  21. Leorale

    My only regret is that Beef wasn’t the driver. But hey they know Ryan’s name now!

  22. Just Me

    So, looks like it was a guy. Wonder who the driver is? I don’t think he is a student.

    1. inqntrol

      Looks like an adult to me. The real questions is, does Ryan have an entire army of people that help him escape the law? First the Bros and now this guy.

      1. Fart Captor

        Assholes who don’t look too closely at their friends can be found everywhere. There really isn’t any mystery to it, I’m afraid.

    2. Leorale

      I’m checking beardy Walkyverse and Dumbiverse guys off the top of my head. It isn’t this fellow: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/trickledown/

      1. Clif

        Well, based on hair color and facial hair, there is a resemblance, but if you look that guy is actually wearing glasses and the current driver doesn’t.

      2. Fart Captor

        HOW did I totally forget about the first panel from that strip?

        1. ety

          Oh, that’s a great one! haha.

      3. Cybersnark

        It occurs to me that Willis could totally make his own version of Guess Who.

  23. Kevin A.

    You sound like it can’t be both.

  24. achallenger

    that is some pro level bro curb pickup

    1. Reltzik

      Definitely a pickup arti- *vaudeville hook*

  25. Jess

    lookit her goooo

  26. Nemirthel

    The real question here is how she expects to skate fast enough to catch the car…

    1. Disloyal Subject

      By cutting corners a car can’t. They’re pretty bulky, but a person can slip past all kinds of obstacles, especially when they have her talent for parkour.

      1. Reltzik

        Also, despite wearing yellow, she’s probably not that hi-vis at night. The bromobile might not realize it’s being followed.

        1. Gwen

          Also, the plot requires it. There’s no point in having her zoom off after them if she’s not gonna at least get close to catching Ryan. If that were the plan, the chase would be ending here and now to move the narrative along.

          That said, there’s still a *ton* of possible outcomes. She could catch them, they could catch her, it could be a near miss, Sal could turn up on her motorcycle and save the day, any number of characters could get injured.

    2. Liliet

      At the nearest stoplight, probably.

    3. Untes

      I was thinking the same thing… Like, in what world is a person on skates catching up to a car? I can see a car not being chased being caught, cause they’ll observe traffic laws.

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    Do boots with retractable skate-wheels an actual thing?

    1. StClair

      Yes.

    2. Lipke the Articulate

      Not boots per say, but “heelies” are a thing. Were a thing? Meh.

      1. Woobie

        Still are.

      2. Deanatay

        Still a thing.

        1. Lipke the Articulate

          Well, sure they still exist, but not many people actually wear them… right?

        2. Roborat

          Nobody over the age of ten, no.

  28. Chris H

    Some friend if he friggin’ HIT Ryan in this escape attempt, probably nearly killing him. After last strip, it actually seemed like the car was someone deliberately trying to kill him, maybe to quell some sinister government conspiracy. I’m glad that’s not the case, as that sounds pretty shark-jumpey.

    1. darkoneko

      I see two people in the car, beside Ryan.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Only one. Look really close at donut beard, and what does at first look like a silhouette of another person is in fact his car seat.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          oops, I think I might have misunderstood you. Never mind.

        2. Big Box

          Funny, because I totally thought ‘donut beard’ meant you were saying that guy was the donut guy who gave Leslie the sign, and was about to point out the differences in clothing, hair color, and hairline when I realized you just meant his beard was donut shaped.

          Derp.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Trying to find out where I’ve seen him before (I swear I have), I have found out that

          a) There are in fact quite a few random people with donut beards in DoA, and

          b) They also look quite different. Heck, even their donut beards are differently shaped.

          Conclusion: Willis has a talent for creating unique donut beard random characters.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          And also

          c) We cannot really just call the character in this strip Donut Beard. We’ll have to give him a more unique nickname.

          Maybe RRR: Rapist Rescue Ranger.

        5. Orion Fury

          One of the least popular Rangers.

        6. Emperor Norton II

          The only one even less popular is the Going Back In Time To Stop Other Time Travelers From Killing Hitler Rescue Ranger.

        7. Orion Fury

          Yeah, but arguably that one fall under the scope of HTTE, so that Ranger could be considered a necessary ‘evil’ then.

        8. Emperor Norton II

          Still not very popular, though.

        9. Orion Fury

          True.

          Also, while I’d like to continue the tread of horrible Rangers as a joke, it may get a bit too dark.

        10. Emperor Norton II

          The “Trying to Convince People Highlander II Was the Best Of the Highlander Movies” Ranger.

          Too dark?

        11. Orion Fury

          Yes. Monster.

        12. Gwen

          There are definitely two people in that car besides Ryan, if it’s a car that’s legal to drive in the US. Steering wheel on the left, donut-beard on the right. Someone’s gotta be driving.

      2. Big Box

        Yep, and that raises an implication: the car’s a two-door, and they clearly didn’t wait to lower the seat and let Ryan in the back. Ryan is either awkwardly sitting on passenger seat guy’s lap, or awkwardly trying to crawl in to the back over passenger seat guy.

        Here’s hoping he accidentally gets a knee/elbow/hard car part in the dick during it.

    2. Foxhack

      So they DID hit them with the car.

      Those are some bad friends. Or maybe the driver is tipsy somehow? I dunno.

      1. Tacos

        I’m pretty sure Ryan just fell to the ground while he and Sal jumped out of the way of the car.

  29. darkoneko

    Carla confirmed for Amazi-girl’s mechanics.

    1. Orion Fury

      Head-canon till I hear otherwise.

      1. Gwen

        Wasn’t Carla the one who helped her clean up her head injury last time? I think Amazi/Amber’s got too many trust issues to confide in anybody else, but it would be cool if that resulted in enough of a connection that “Amber” got some skates from Carla.

  30. Idontcarenomore

    Here we go again. And Sal without her bike.

    1. Undrave

      No matter where she is, when she calls for it, it will answer her call.

      1. Tacos

        So like Geralt’s horse, Roach?

        1. merbrat

          “Kitt, I need you!”

        2. Undrave

          Wasn’t there a bike at some point?

        3. Andorxor

          Streethawk,but that bike just had turbobusters,a laser,and a machine gun,but no artifical inteligence or remote control.
          Or the bike that the technician that installed the pursuit mode build,which had no gadgets or ai.

        4. Orion Fury

          “Hi ho Silver”?

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        It just miniaturizes itself onto her magic charm bracelet.

        1. Undrave

          Nah it’s in her magical sports bag, which is also miniaturized into her pocket!

        2. Undrave

          Kudos to anyone who gets the reference.

        3. Orion Fury

          Damn, guess I’ll just have to go by some.

      3. Woobie

        I’m thinking like a Ranyhyn.

        1. thejeff

          So it’s actually already on its way, to arrive moments after she calls it?

          Unless she doesn’t, in which case, it never started.

      4. Reltzik

        Except that one time Sal pissed it off by giving it the wrong grade of gasoline, so it was in a prissy mood and DIDN’T come when called.

        Sal was disapoint. Without her bike, she went off and moped.

        ……

        *flees for dear work-only-in-text-punning life*

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          How dare you say such a thing! I am totally motorfied!

        2. Amazi-Stool

          These puns are too much to enduro!

      5. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        I want to make a joke about aibar machines, but that is probably too obscure even for this crowd.

        1. ety

          Melody of Oblivion and sadly I’d have got that reference. Unless I’m totally off base in which case this’d be embarrassing.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          No you’re right. Though we haven’t seen Sal’s bike transform into a bishie guy. Yet.

        3. ety

          It wasn’t just me in thinking that show really fell apart towards the end right?

        4. ety

          Okay… maybe not just the end.

        5. ety

          It was pretty awful and somehow I watched all of it anyway.

        6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          I only half watched the second half. Couldn’t tell you much about what happened.

      6. Cybersnark

        *plays Epona’s song*

    2. Deanatay

      “AH CAN FUCKIN’ SKATE. I… just don’ wanna.”

  31. (((Mkvenner)))

    This won’t end well.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Did you forget what web-comic you’re reading?

    2. Orion Fury

      I’d like to repost a joke I’ve made about this, but it’s probably too soon to reuse material.

      1. Reltzik

        Nonono, if it’s too soon then when you repeat the joke it becomes a recurring theme and callback.

        Just like when we get to see Sal save Amazi-girl with her bike AGAIN. …. though that would be less reused and more recycled.

        1. Orion Fury

          So is that a request for the joke then?

        2. Anorak

          i believe so

        3. Orion Fury

          The only way this ends well is if Willis creates a character named Timmy.

  32. Terry

    This is the greatest alt-text in the history of webcomics.

  33. Lipke the Articulate

    I definitely have to agree with Sal here…

  34. Retrikaethan

    UGH! TAKE A PICTURE OF THE CAR, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!… she really needs to play more games with tactics involved. i am almost literally foaming at the mouth at this silliness. RAGGLE FRAGGLE!

    1. Zatar

      Its not Ryan’s car.

      1. CJ

        Doesn’t matter:if she can identify the friend she has him.

        Long term planning is not her style…
        Also, it just don’t look badass.

        1. Orion Fury

          [Insert Obligatory Comic Title Drop Snide Remake Here]

    2. Reltzik

      Those are useful tactics if Ryan gets away and she has to track him down later.

      Right now her tactic is to not let him get away.

    3. Lipke the Articulate

      Rackum frackum!

  35. Shiro

    ….huh. Heelys. I, well…I guess that works.

  36. Lawzlo

    I hate to say it, but I’m having a flashback to that scene in Batman & Robin where ice-skates pop out of their boots.

    1. JessWitt

      Ditto.

      1. miados

        zubat

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Nidoran.

        2. Some1

          diglett

        3. Foxhack

          MEOWTH, DAT’S RIGHT!

        4. ety

          You are all out of order.

        5. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Chainsaw chainsaw chainsaw!

          *if you know what this is referencing you might be too nerdy*

    2. Zatar

      I was wondering when someone would bring that up.

  37. lia47

    do shoes like that actually exist? I’ve always thought that would be a better set-up than heelys

    1. Woobie

      I think in-line skates would be better for speed. And fast cornering.

  38. Synnerman

    Uh oh. Calling it: Ryan goes to hospital, meets Blaine. Blaine finds out secret identity.

    Joker is born.

  39. Tenchan

    Batman would have been proud…specially, the Adam West-type.

    1. Undrave

      Even more if she had ice skated after them.

      1. Michael

        No, that is Batman of the nippley type.

  40. Kernanator

    But do they have jet propulsion?

  41. JessWitt

    Looks like she took a page from Batman and Robin (’99) when they were on Mr. Freeze’s ice rink.

  42. J. A. J.

    I’m really starting to notice that Amazi-girl is biting her lip very often:

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/satisfied/

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/listentome/

    Has this been a thing, or is it becomin’ a thing? I’m afraid she’s gonna cut her lip.

  43. Neeks

    Well, she can skate. Maybe amber can use roller derby as an outlet for her aggression/alternate personality if she ever has to hang up the cape for any reason.

    Which I’m sure has been pointed out by a commenter before, but whatever. 😀

    1. Spencer

      I’m just saying it’d be the best thing ever.

    2. Orion Fury

      No less than 50, if I had to guess. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has kept count. Perhaps with proper begging and scraping Emperor will let us use one of his counters from his dungeons to let us know.

      1. ety

        Don’t give me any additional reasons to write more scripts to regex search html web pages and process information.

        regex, because I enjoy regex. I wouldn’t really use it for the DOM, though…

  44. Janbon

    That was ridiculously badass.

  45. Chandra

    “… not sure if that’s badass or ridiculous.”

    1 vote for badass, right here.

    1. Gwen

      Why do we have to choose?

  46. JessWitt

    Amazi-Girl joins the roller derby!

  47. Mitara

    How did he manage to get up and into the back of a two door before either of them got up? I mean, the other guy would pretty much have had to get out. Unless Ryan sat on his lap, I suppose.

  48. Some1

    Amazi-Girl…I don’t think you can catch a car on roller skates…

    1. Chandra

      You actually very well can, provided that the vehicle driver isn’t crossing red lights and ignoring intersection rules trying to get away from you.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Being able to cut corners through houses’ yards while the car has to go the long way around probably helps too. Assuming AG is willing to trespass on private property.

        1. Foxhack

          She routinely jumps around from high place to high place, she’ll catch up to them in no time.

    2. Gwen

      You also can’t get to heaven. ‘Cuz you’ll roll right by those pearly gates.

  49. Mimi

    Ridiculously Badass

  50. Tacos

    Ok so it isn’t one of the bro clones coming back for Ryan like I thought yesterday. Who is this guy though?

    Also I’m so sure AG will be able to catch up to a speeding car with just roller skates. /sarcasm

    1. Fart Captor

      I had a friend in college whose car topped out at 30mph.

      If he took all the MtG cards out of the trunk, it could sometimes hit 40. As long as it was downhill.

    2. Thevoiceoftreason

      What male Shortpacked or Its Walky villain have we not seen yet?

      1. Lipke the Articulate

        …Head Alien? But somehow I doubt it’s him.

        1. Dr. T

          Head Alien is now Dexter, a cartoon character that Dorothy, Walky, and Joyce all love. He’s been mentioned aplenty. Joyce even has a hat and tights with his face on them, so we’ve even seen him.

    3. Michael

      It’s probably Amber’s dad.

  51. nothri

    Sal, you say that like those two things are mutually exclusive. Which is silly, since I feel they often describe your personality.

  52. Haven

    Amazi-Girl always wins with prep time.

  53. Zaidyer

    Night time scenario, check
    Caught the rapist, check
    Stolen information possibly still in play, check
    Got blindsided by a sudden impact, check
    Skates, check

    All we need now is the griffith park tunnel and a manure truck.

  54. Cerberus

    Not to demean your talents AG, but I’m pretty sure he’s gone.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Depends on traffic, intersections, and whatnot.

      And in any case, she’s damn well going to at least try.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, they are in a town near a political rally. On the other hand, it’s midnight on a Sunday. On the *OTHER* other hand, college town so you never know, people are fuckin’ weird and no one moreso than college kids.

        So probably gone, but you can never be entirely sure.

    2. Fart Captor

      I dunno, if that car’s as crappy as what my friends drove in college, she might have a chance

      1. Orion Fury

        Looks like a recent model sports car, to me at least, so I’m figuring no on the crappy modifier there.

    3. Bagge

      Nice try, but Amazi-girl is immune to criticism.

      Also, after she caught ToeDad on a skateboard I’m not counting off anything.

    4. trlkly

      She was able to catch Toedad with a much bigger head start.

  55. Fart Captor

    Okay, I’m a little disappointed that Ryan still isn’t lying face-down in a pile of his own teeth, but I really like how determined AG is to catch that sack of crap.

    Also that I was right about that racist guy with the beard from before.

    1. Fart Captor

      Damn, not the same guy, unless he changed his shirt and got a haircut really fast

      1. Lipke the Articulate

        And, like, got a dye job with the haircut. This dude’s hair is noticeably lighter, to the point where it is unlikely that it’s a lighting thing. (And if it were it’d probably be darker anyway, lol)

        Amazi-Girl is immune to criticism, including any criticism of herself. Normally when I give up on something it’s do to criticizing myself, so Amazi-Girl is probably immune to giving up.
        Go Amazi-Girl!

  56. Disloyal Subject

    wat

  57. Cyberfox

    Both, Sal. Both.

  58. Brasca1

    So I was wrong about the driver. Doesn’t look like an adult Leland.

  59. Ryan

    As a proud Ryan-American I am offended by this strip!

    1. Orion Fury

      Just this one? Also, I read your comment before your name. Not the recommended read order there, I gotta say.

      1. Lipke the Articulate

        Same here… I was trying to figure out what a “Ryan-American” could possibly be for like ten seconds before I saw his name.

        1. Orion Fury

          Better than me, I was figuring on someone like the Ryan in the comic first. I apparently go to the dark places fast.

    2. Ryan (no relation)

      Agreed! Why couldn’t you have named him something nobody else would be named, like WxrtHltl-jwlpklz? (Not a typo – search it.) Or Pontius Pilate?

  60. tim gueguen

    So, is this a hint Amber has an uncle whose initials are TS? Probably not, or she’d be Iron Maiden instead of Amazi-girl.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Other TS, he said swiftly…

  61. Rikunda

    How would a pair of skates keep up with a car?! It seems Ryan’s friends know what he did and don’t care. I can’t think of friends who would do that without knowing what is going on. I do know my friends would not accept “bongo be crazy”. I know I wouldn’t. I would let it go to get more information to find the truth though.

    1. Lipke the Articulate

      I’d probably do that without having all the info, because otherwise I’d be letting one of my friends get beat up. Of course, first thing I’d ask him after pulling him in the car would be “Why is she chasing you?” and I also certainly wouldn’t allow any nonsense about bongos (or the term that is being autofiltered, for that matter) to be considered a legitimate answer.

      Of course, I also know none of my friends would do anything like that. My best friend is one of the nicest damned people I’ve ever met despite his own insecurities and angst. My other two closest friends are an uber-passive asexual and a ridiculously lazy stoner. I find it literally impossible to imagine any of them doing anything worse to a woman than refuse to show mercy in MTG.

  62. LooksLikeDaniel

    Obviously, those skates are rocket powered. She just hasn’t turned on the thrusters yet. Duh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2VXOd3uXh8

    1. adam Black

      Well, duh

  63. Moose

    Carla thinks it’s badass.

  64. Shanunu

    How did she get those shoes in like 4 days that’s amazing

    …amazigal

    1. Bicycle Bill

      “How did she get those shoes in like 4 days?”
      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
      Here’s how.

    2. Roborat

      Probably did a montage.

  65. Black Bumblebee

    Yesssssss

    1. Orion Fury

      Read in the voice of how Willis pictures his voice to be.

  66. Pedantic Peanut

    It’s ridiculous.

    1. Amazi-Stool

      More indication that Carla has a hand in this!

  67. vlademir1

    OK, where does she get the money to build/buy such wonderful toys? Those wheels came out, from the way the art shows it, with enough force to lift her body weight. That is going to be really expensive tech in the footprint available to house it. We’re talking maybe a half inch space, tops, under her foot to house the wheels, the deployment mechanism and any control circuitry. Meanwhile the most likely deployment mechanism I can picture fitting in that form factor is going to mean retracting them is near impossible without manual intervention and require some manual resetting to be able to deploy them again. All this is before you get into the materials physics of the system…

    Obviously rule of cool applies here, but this is near breaking WSoD for me.

    1. OnyxIdol

      Completely agree.

    2. Orion Fury

      Well I think it stems from how the Dumbiverse is our word, but sits between our world and the Walkyverse. There’s some bleed over from there. It’s how we get the car chases, blue memory ghosts, skateboard riding kings, etc.

    3. Joe Archer

      Why would there be any controlling circuitry? A mechanically blocked spring mechanism would hold those wheels in their hidden position, possibly activated by clicking her boots “There’s no place like home”-style.

      Amazigirl already told us that her boots give her an inch or two height advantage over Amber. The modification of her boots would have to hide in plateau soles in order to accommodate those wheels. I am more concerned how this reduces their utility for running and landing after jumps from great height, unless those wheels fold sideways and act in a similar manner to the rest of the soles.

      And the release mechanism has to be rather secure. Imagine those wheelies popping up after a hard landing. E.g. on that bus she jump-glided on when Walky and Dorothy chased her.

    4. trlkly

      They’re called Heelys, as people have revealed above. They cost $50.

  68. caesaria82

    Heh. I’m sure Carla would approve!

  69. Bagge

    Now that’s a bro.

    That’s not necessarily a good thing.

  70. OnyxIdol

    Apparently, AmaziGirl isn’t only a skilled Programmer, but also a skilled engineer.

    Where was she hiding those wheels, though? Is she wearing plateau shoes? Or are you just giving physics the finger again, Willis?

    1. Fart Captor

      PHYSICS CAN EAT ALL OF THE BUTTS

      1. butts

        You rang?

        1. Orion Fury

          Apparently Physics did. And it being capable of doing so would imply that it’s already doing so.

    2. adam Black

      She willed it out a her chassis.
      Oops Spoiler–Shes really a Transformer.
      Sorry Willis, I spoiled your Comic.

      1. Orion Fury

        Huh, I thought you had a unique Gravatar. And I wouldn’t worry about spoiling Willis’s comics. You should though. I’d recommend against running though.

        1. adam Black

          I should gravatar?

        2. Orion Fury

          Maybe you’re just a different Adam Black then. Sorry.

  71. Jason

    A lot of commenters wondering how she’s going to catch this car seem to have forgotten the last time she chased down a car. And that car had a bigger head start.

    1. Tacos

      That car wasn’t hauling ass like these guys probably are and also she had a grappling hook stuck to the bumper for half the chase.

      1. Anorak

        who says she doesnt still have the grappling hook?

  72. Owlmirror

    During the day, AG might have a chance. At around midnight, I can totally see these bros blowing through lights and stopsigns.

    Say, I wonder if Sal’s ride is nearby?

    Oh, no. I just had a vision of Sal driving up with her motorcycle next to Amazi-Girl, and saying “This is totally nuts — but grab on.”

    And they zoom after the car, AG’s skates sparking on the pavement.

  73. adam Black

    Is there a slew of Terminator Jokes above me?
    ( How many Things make a “slew” , anyways? Does “rapists” have a Plaual flock? A Mean of Rapists? Meatsax?

    How many something

    1. Orion Fury

      I’ll cop to it, don’t recall seeing any Terminator jokes up there. No lie. But I don’t always have a full command of what I see at night. Been up all day, all the way.

  74. Bagge

    Guess who just got a shiny new DoA-book in the mail???
    THIS DUDE!!!!!

    1. adam Black

      I did?
      That’s so nice. I don’t deserve it.

      1. Bagge

        Of course you do.

    2. Fart Captor

      I’m totes jelly. Since I missed the kickstarter, who knows if I’ll be able to get my hands on book 5 before the trumpocalypse sends us back into the dark ages! Will there even be electricity?

    3. Roborat

      Hah! I got mine last week.

  75. Emperor Norton II

    Since somebody had to check this:

    The female speed record for 200 meters on roller skates is 17.677 seconds. It doesn’t say, but I am assuming standing start. Meaning it should be possible to get it up to 50 kph for at least a little while*.

    Cars are obviously faster. Cars in traffic may not be. Cars that are driven recklessly will be. Will this car be driven recklessly for more than the initial escape, or will they assume they got away?

    *Although, as we all know, M.S. Escher designed the place so that it’s all upward going anyway; this will presumable slow AG down considerably.

    1. Fart Captor

      Junkers driven by college students might not be! It isn’t making horrible grinding noises and billowing smoke now, but there’s still time!
      [/forced optimism]

    2. Orion Fury

      But depending on the route she takes to intercept, it could be uphill for the car, but downhill for her.

      1. Joe Archer

        Walky already told us that all of the campus is uphill…

        1. Orion Fury

          So she’ll just skate backwards then.

      2. BenRG

        The Rule of Awesome insist that Amazi-Girl will drop down onto the car’s roof from above after having skated across the roof of several buildings.

    3. BenRG

      You’re assuming that the Amazi-Skates don’t have something even more ridiculously badass in them like micro-fission cell-powered motors or something giving her a top speed in the range of 60mph.

  76. Crumplepunch

    It’s both.

  77. adrien

    http://i1.wp.com/www.comicmix.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/accessory-iron-man-skates-1.jpg

  78. Mx Miki

    Are they transistor! powered like Iron Man’s?

    1. Orion Fury

      Mass Relays.

  79. Corpus_no_Logos

    If she’s as good with computers as the comic has made her about to be, she should know it is trivially easy to recover an erased file. It’s not like Ryan had time to download specialized software to delete the file in a way which couldn’t be recovered.

    Besides, they now know his first name, what he looks like and that he was an intern for the campaign. It would be relatively easy to find him again. Even if he quit the internship, the campaign would still know his name and have it on file. Even if it didn’t have his name for some reason, several of his friends were interning too. Find any one of them, and you could use them to find Ryan. And if for some reason that didn’t work, there are only going to be so many Ryans in the area. Look for one with a recent scar and there you go.

    The only thing chasing Ryan at this point does is let her have a chance to beat him up tonight instead of some other night. It’s not good superheroing.

  80. A Scientist

    She has his first name. That might be enough to find him. There’s probably a way to get access to a volunteers list for that event, and that should narrow it down, at worst, to a few Ryans. She can then look in the student directory to find out which ones live in fraternity houses, since it’s a decent guess he might, having let her know he’s in one. Even if he doesn’t live in one of the houses, finding a different Ryan who does (not an unreasonable option) she could parlay into getting the rest of his identity by asking the right questions.

    As cool as they are, now is the time for detective work, not a car chase!

  81. Simulacrae

    Aw man, but that’s MY name ;-;

  82. BenRG

    Why can’t it be both, Sal? We need a portmanteau to express both: ‘Badassiculous’? ‘Ridiculass’?

    BTW, the getaway driver doesn’t have a tag so, lines or no, he’ll never be more than an extra.

    Now, I wonder if Sal is going to go chasing off after this unlikely group on her bike or if she’s going to do the sensible thing by shrugging, going back to the dorm and sticking her head under the pillow until the canteen opens for breakfast?

    1. thejeff

      Willis has left tags off before, only adding them after the dramatic reveal.

      1. Dr. T

        This suggests that the driver is someone we might know, but why not tag the passenger since we can already see his face?

        Regarding the driver, it sure looks to be a guy. My first concern was that it might have been Ron (the party host where Ryan roofied Joyce), but his car is completely different.

        Failing that, I started wondering about which minor characters we have already met or have not shown up from the Walkyverse yet that it could be. Considering the car, I suspect it is someone whose parents have money.

  83. Orion Fury

    “Huh, I wonder what these gizmos are for.”

  84. Orion Fury

    Plus, I thought the first rule of superheroics was not to talk about them. That last panel is a face filled with determination.

    I’m also having difficulty making out the plate number in the third panel, anyone else having that problem? Normally the resolution on my monitor can get it, but not today. Weird.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      I’ve blown the strip up 3x and don’t see anything.  I think Willis has definitely left it blank 1) just to mess with us or 2) because he knows that no matter what made-up license plate he might use there’s the possibility that someone out there has it in real life, and his millions of fans would make that person’s life a living hell.  Look what happened to the poor bugger who had 867-5309 as his telephone number.

      1. Orion Fury

        Headcanon now is plate is JNY-867.

        Also the phone number’s been trademarked, by a plumbing company.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          In their own area code, maybe.
          There are over 300 3-digit area codes — not counting toll free and pay-per-call WATS numbers — in use in the United State alone, and another 36 in Canada.  I don’t imagine they’ve got it so any and all of them connect to their particular company.

        2. Orion Fury

          United States Trademark. They’ve actually sued another company that used the number, with an 866 area code, and won a basic judgement. They can’t us it in their market.

  85. Reltzik

    I’m not sure whether that’s technically counting as badass or ridiculous, but either way it’s skating the line.

    1. Bagge

      I’m not sure if that COMMENT is stupid or genius, but either way you’re on a roll.

      1. Orion Fury

        With this being like the 10th time this comment as been made as a top level one, it may be out of control.

      2. Roborat

        So is Amazi girl.

  86. Acher4

    Go Amazi-Girl! Go!!!!!

    1. Orion Fury

      Go! Go!

  87. LooksLikeDaniel

    It just occurred to me: Why don’t they just use Sal’s bike?

    1. BenRG

      Time is of the essence; every moment she isn’t in visual contact with the car is a moment when they could vanish into a building’s garage, never to be seen again.

      1. Orion Fury

        And we can’t have his wanted level drop to 0 stars.

        1. BenRG

          Amber is a gamer, isn’t she? Why shouldn’t her life be a computer game? 😉

        2. Lipke the Articulate

          Weird, I have the strangest sudden urge to go put a certain disk into my XBOne…

        3. Orion Fury

          Ain’t no justice like mob justice?

  88. Dana

    I guess boot wheels are more convenient than having Sayyid follow her around everywhere.

  89. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Can it not be both, Sal?

    1. Josito

      ¡Ridiculass!… ¿Badalous?

      1. Josito

        Pff, already done… I should read before answering… like thinking before acting.

        Ok, we all know I won’t.

      2. WaytoomanyUIDs

        Ridiculass sounds like a rejected Harley Quinn sidekick

        1. Orion Fury

          Or Ron Weasley messing up another incantation.

  90. Dara

    Badass is just ridiculousness that works.

  91. Keulan

    Badass or ridiculous? Why not both?

    And now Amazi-Girl knows his name, that’s good.

  92. Shizuka

    That’s ridiculously badass…

  93. thumb

    2nd rule of superheroics: These two things are not different.

  94. Willoughby Chase

    They see me rollin’ …

  95. Willoughby Chase

    You spin me round … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU

    1. Orion Fury

      What about this?

      1. Willoughby Chase

        The base-line on both videos grates on my ears, my teeth ache aarghh … I’d forgotten just how bad it was …

  96. Questionor

    So I have to assume she orders her equipment online, but I’m wondering do you think she puts on the mask while in her room sitting at the computer doing the ordering?

    1. BenRG

      No, The Watering Hole (the friendly, family-run store where she and many other costumed vigilantes, like Ninja Rick, get their toys) has a strict ‘no mask’ policy.

  97. Vulcanodon

    Does AG know the name of the strip she’s in? Because she’s really living up to it right now. I hope she just follows them at a distance. There must be a super-hero rule about also learning from a distance.

    1. BenRG

      She’s already invoking ‘What does not kill me makes me stronger’; I don’t think that there is any rule that supercedes that one!

  98. Mr. Random

    Yes.

  99. Dex

    The only way this could get better is if Marcie shows up with the roller derby team and they super-hero team up with AG to take down the bad guys.

    And then Amber joins roller derby. 😀

  100. Carolyn

    I just thought of something, was Ryan able to pick up his own cell phone again after Amazi-Girl kicked him? Because if not, they might have another option for identifying him/getting a photo.

    1. Fart Captor

      Ooh, good point! He doesn’t have it in his hand, so unless they picked it up and handed it back to him, that definitely seems possible.

      But will his be locked?

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        He has something in his left hand in panel 1. I was assuming it was his phone.

        1. Carolyn

          Damn, you’re right. That looks a lot like the color of the phone he was speaking into two pages ago. There goes that theory. 🙁

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          On the other hand, since Amazi-Girl is always prepared for anything, she might have pre-hacked phones in a selection of colors, to swap out with phones she is stealing.

        3. Fart Captor

          Dang, I looked right at his hands and missed that

  101. philip p petrunak

    You know, I want to hate that driver guy too, but “Beat It” is my favorite MJ song I so I really can’t.

    Just beat it; beat it; beat it; beat it….

    1. Potted Moose

      I prefer Weird Al’s version “Eat It” 😛

  102. vinegrape

    Introducting your friendly neighborhood bad guy taxi service, Douche-Canoe!*

    *DISCLAIMER: May not actually use a canoe.

  103. Robert

    Taking a page out of “The Stupids” are we?? 😕

  104. Arianod

    Why not both?

  105. Victor Riley

    Um…. Amazi-Girl? Sal *does* have a Motorcycle, ya know…

    1. thejeff

      Which is parked where? How far away will Ryan be before they reach the motorcycle?

  106. Willoughby Chase

    “I thought we agreed on Mr Pink?”

  107. Captain Whoever

    Mostly ridiculous, but with points added for the inspector gadget-tier deployment.

  108. Tenn

    Aww, Dudebeardbroguy didn’t get a name, and Silhouetted Driver didn’t even get a face.

  109. maninblack

    A little of both

  110. Fwip

    … Her face looks like a muppet. Not just me seeing that, yeah?

  111. Roborat

    Wait, how did Ryan get into the car that quickly?

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