110

Safe
Posted on December 7, 2012 by David M Willis
I'm gonna be in Austin for Webcomic Rampage this weekend!  Come see me! For those who can't, you can still sort of play along at home.  From now until Sunday night, entering the code "WEBCOMICRAMPAGE" with any Dumbing of Age store order gets you 10% off!  Think of it as a last-minute Christmas thing.  (It is too late for most international orders to arrive by Christmas, but if you're in the United States, you're still golden.)  I will, of course, tend to orders once I return from Austin.

110 thoughts on “Safe”

  1. Steve

    Wahoo, Joyce shower scene! Damn you, comic strip gutters!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Hypothetically, what manner of Transformer do you think we’d need to bribe Willis with to get the middlepanels? 😉

      1. Aizat

        Unicron.

        1. Black Bumblebee

          Oh come on, he has a Unicron. Now, send the man an Overlord, and I’m sure he’d show you all sorts of boobies.

        2. Nexev

          He’s done it before actually so who knows.

        3. Aizat

          How about a Primus?

        4. David

          I have a Primus and several Unicrons!

        5. Doctor_Who

          How about a custom Optimus that is made to scale with the Primus and Unicron toys?

          I hope you have a shelf equipped with an electron microscope to display him on.

        6. Aizat

          Or a Golden Rodimus Prime?

        7. Wonder Wig

          How about a tranformer who’s car mode is a Batmobile?

        8. ArkhamTexan

          I’m in Dallas. I’m tempted to drive down to Austin this weekend and make an in-person plea on everyone’s behalf. What should I bribe him with, y’all? Or threaten, whichever. I’m big an’ scary. 😛

        9. Aizat

          A Golden Rodimus, that kid from G2 and a baseball bat with a nail on it.

        10. Dibullba

          Fortress Maximus?

        11. David

          I’ve had one of those since 1987!

        12. Dibullba

          Wow, good on ya. Those are difficult to find, especially with the box intact.

        13. Jenny Creed

          How about a proper scale Unicron?

        14. Robin

          Except I’m willing to bet that Joyce actually showers wearing a towel in public, so even if you do bribe those middle panels out of Willis, he’ll be laughing all the way to his figure collection.

        15. Roborat

          But, I don’t really want to see HIS boobies.

      2. Alden

        Masterpiece Armada Hot Shot

      3. ShadowWing Tronix

        Pretty much this> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAvG0buqa2Q

      4. B.D

        Silver Optimus.

        …Life-size.

    2. Josh

      Dude, those aren’t gutters, Joyce is litrally just a pair of legs with a head!

      1. Portmaneau

        That changes EVERYTHING.

    3. Vabolo

      Get yer mind outta the gutters!

  2. Wonder Wig

    It looks like she’s being attacked by the red pen strokes my professor left on the last essay I did.

  3. Jen Aside

    RED SOGGIES MAY RULE

    *does not actually know what Soggies look like but is making an educated guess*

    1. Doctor_Who

      Here they are.

      If something that looks like that is left behind in the shower, it WOULD be cause for concern. This is supposed to be a girls only facility.

      1. Yotomoe

        Maybe there are Female Soggies.

  4. David Herbert

    Guest directed by Joss Whedon.

    1. John Harmon

      Or Quentin Tarantino.

  5. The Sound Defense

    We’re about to see a lot more red in that shower.

    1. Groove

      Never mind blood, now her head’s on the floor that bit of hair might touch her face!!!!!

      1. RobHagen

        Don’t you mean “FAAAAACCE!”

  6. Geegles

    Reactions in order:

    Joyce looks short.
    Joyce in the shower?? Oh, Willis is being decent.
    What on Earth is that on her foot?
    Oh it’s probably hair.
    Oh God wait her head might hit the floor I hope she’s okay…

    1. Dicrel Seijin

      Huh, my response to the last panel was: That stall has to be pretty huge for Joyce to essentially do a backflip and not hit any walls.

    2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      You forgot ‘Did Mike have something to do with that clump of red hair that just suddenly appeared out of nowhere.’

      1. Wixvhen

        He was actually watching from a nearby stall, waiting for that perfect moment. That’s why she had to have her eyes closed first.

  7. wednesday

    Suddenly, the entire locker room shows up and begins throwing elastic bands at her: “PUT IT UP! PUT IT UP! PUT IT UP!”

    (What? It’s a scary red splodge in the communal shower.)

    1. MarcinMN

      Just going to say that I get the reference. =P

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      I thought it was “PLUG IT UP!”? It’s been a while…

      Also, Joyce, it is only hair. Calm yo’ tits.

  8. Cholma

    It’s amazing Joyce lasted a whole week without taking a shower. I guess swimming at the lake counted as a bath for her?

    1. David

      Joyce showers every day, but it’s a very stressful ordeal.

      1. vlademir1

        As many times as we’ve seen some version of Joyce deal with the issue of hair in the showers, I can well believe it 😀

  9. Dudeface

    I think this is in top five of Willis’ material.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    The only thing missing is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfthzU3V4zo"Psycho Shower Music.

  11. Aizat

    Well, I take it back. Hair, apparently, can kill people.

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    The only thing missing is the Psycho Shower Music.

  13. Aizat

    Hair: You think a pair of sandals can stop me, Joyce?

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    Damn, even Ruth’s hair is dangerous.

    1. Resne

      It’s nearly as aggressive as she is.

  15. Uniqueantique

    And this is going to leave Joyce, and us, up in the air until Sunday midnite?

  16. Fey

    Well, at least after all that water running over it, the hair is at least clean? #DormLifeLies

  17. NinjaNick

    Attack of the ninja red hair!

  18. Kernanator

    Ah, shower hair: the deadliest of assassins.

    1. begbert2

      It’s an abduction; It has grabbed her by the foot and then shot upwards, flying away with her. Monday’s comic will be a nude Joyce breaking through the ceiling of the building feet-first.

  19. Egg

    Backwash hair swept in on a tidal wave from adjacent stalls: endless endless grossitude

  20. Yotomoe

    I actually thought that Joyce’s foot just spontaneousely started bleeding messy squiggles of blood.

    1. Mogotoo

      Same.

  21. Yotomoe

    ok. I dunno why. But these last few weeks of strips seem to have had a color direction overhaul. From mornin’ light to wet hair. What’s the deal!?

  22. Robin

    Now I’m left wondering what the hell webcomi crampage is. (Because that’s how you split WEBCOMICRAMPAGE into words, obviously.)

    Although, I guess crampage is what Joyce is about to get.

  23. Just for kix

    Honestly, even I have issues with shower hair. Luckily the mop that is used by our floor cleaner is kept outside. I just use that to clean up one of the stalls myself before using it. Joyce is kinda lazy to wait for a clean stall (it ain’t gonna magically happen).

  24. hmrc4evr

    Don’t worry Joyce! It will all be over soon!

    You know what they say….”hair today, gone tomorrow!”

    1. Jackson

      You must admit, she’s found herself in a bit of a hairy situation.

  25. Endless

    For some reason, while viewing this coming, I read the title above as “Plumbing of Age”.

  26. Dr.Z

    It LIVVVVVVVES!

  27. Ziaheart

    Joyce is rather… stationary when taking a shower. I would be touching my hair and my face.

    1. Tom T.

      Yeah, we know what you’d be touching…

      😉

      1. phlebas

        The middle panel?

        1. Roborat

          So to speak.

    2. begbert2

      I get the impression that that these panels take place over the span of seconds. She barely has time to bathe in the reassurance her borrowed sandals give her before…it comes for her.

  28. T Campbell

    Dumbing of Age is pretty close to my platonic ideal of a webcomic. And David has my permission to quote that in his marketing.

    But this installment’s a little problematic because I don’t know which context to read it in– the context that Joyce is goofily skittish about her showers and falling over is fun slapstick, or the context that Joyce is recovering from serious trauma and may be suffering hallucinations and injuring herself due to hallucinations and oh man what if Sarah was right about her?

    I guess this issue will probably sort itself out in the archives when we cut away from this plot thread and then see Joyce acting normally in her next appearance, but there it is.

    1. Jackson

      This whole time I’ve had a feeling of foreboding about the shower for precisely that reason. For me at least, the entire scene has been haunted by the ghost of Friday night.

    2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      That’s kind of Willis’ trademark, T. Think of this strip as a cliffhanger where we find out which down the line. I see your point, however.

    3. Uncle Rylon

      It’s pretty clear to me that both contexts are valid and important to understanding this comic.

  29. Jimmy

    Now I can’t get the screeching violins from Psycho out of my head.

  30. Vizard

    WHEN A PROBLEM COMES ALONG,
    YOU MUST FLIP IT

    WHEN A HUMAN DOES YOU WRONG
    YOU MUST FLIP HER

    FLIP HER GOOD

  31. tahrey

    So did that wash in from an adjoining stall, or what?

    1. Tenn

      They are sentient pubes, surfing the cold floors of public showers, feeding on feelings of disgust.

  32. ADHadh

    Nice use of the medium.
    Also, one for the most vanilla weird fetishists.

  33. Yotomoe

    Protip: if the hair on the floor makes you flip out, try to prevent launching your face into it at break neck speeds.

  34. Mal

    … and that’s how she died.

    1. Effie

      “My name is Joyce Brown, and THIS is the story of how I died.”

      1. davidbreslin101

        ….after which, [ANCIENT DR WHO SPOILERS!] it turns out she’s not dead, just stuck forever in a parallel universe. With aliens.

        1. hmrc4evr

          Sorry, but as much as I might like Joyce she’s no Rose.

    2. Hippoman

      “and that… was the first time I died”

  35. nothri

    So much is added to this scene if you have the Jaws theme running through your head while reading it…

    1. nothri

      Alternate joke: Next time she needs to borrow Sal’s biker helmet. You know, for safety.

  36. 13thprotector

    Odd mishaps, why did she not just pick up the hair and throw it away? That’s what I do when I see hair in the shower, is it so wrong for her to have not leaned over and picked up the mangled clump?

    1. begbert2

      I think it was a flinch reaction – she felt something creepy on her foot, jerked it up, lost traction on her other foot, flipped end-for-end, smacked her head on the floor, and died.

      It could happen to anybody.

      1. Darth Cariss

        For some reason this struck me as really funny.

      2. 13thprotector

        But she knew it was there! Why would she not pick it up, and trash it? A simple solution to a stupid problem.

  37. fangshinobi

    This may have happened to me before. I used tissue.

    1. fangshinobi

      Oops, I meant the hair clump being too close for comfort, not the falling over and almost killing myself.

  38. Eposi

    dare I ask what her head trauma induced dream will be like? I mean her stress dream was way out there

  39. Somebody

    She looks really sexy with wet hair; it’s too bad we can’t see all of her. And I hope she isn’t too badly hurt.

  40. Andiemus

    Looking at this on my phone. Thought someone had reached under her stall and stabbed her in the foot.

  41. das-g

    Breakdancing in the confined space of a shower stall takes real skill. And a lot of practice.

  42. Bill Murphy

    That’s probably how the hair got there in the first place. 😛

  43. imperator

    Now this is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down….

  44. ASmellyOgre

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RETETzLcjDI

  45. brumagem

    Oh Joyce, that’s the OPPOSITE of what to do in that situation.

  46. JA

    Can’t blame Joyce; unexpected wet hair is unnerving.

  47. Zababcd

    Hmm… opportunity for artistic interpretation.

    You all hoped that I was going to artistically interpret the ‘middle panels’. I know the internet.

  48. Boom

    I’ll never get people who freak the fuck out at stuff like this. You already sit for long hours in enclosed spaces with a bunch of people and that is way more disgusting than letting somebodies hair touch you.

  49. Marianne

    I don’t know why people are talking about missing middle panels… Obviously, the shower has magically transformed Joyce into a Q*bert. @!#?@!

  50. Whittier

    I just want to say this is an ingenious use of panel transitions.

  51. chibibo

    … It’s hair. Of course it’s hair. Why did I think Joyce was getting the stigmata?

  52. Lis

    having your own shower after a communal shower is like suddenly being allowed back in civilization from some sort of horrible place

  53. Ocksgrough

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/08/13

  54. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    This was funny until I realized she’d probably be unconscious and bleeding after that last panel

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