*waits for reenactment of American Psycho where the next panel shows the doorstop protruding from the back of a deadunconscious person at the bottom of the stairs*
Required impalement velocity unfortunately can’t be reached in this scenario. However, if the burrito were to hit Blaine in the forehead or throat, it would be enough to knock him over, smacking Toe Dad’s head into the railing with sufficient force to cause severe bleeding, and possibly make him fall back over onto Blaine and break a rib or two. And that’s a best case scenario.
As for the chances of that . . . I don’t know, what do you think I am, some kind of nerd?
Crimeman
The burrito lands squarely in Blaines mouth and he explodes like the death star. Toe dad is collateral.
Annonymouse
Not so much like the Death Star [tm] but Mr Creosote.
Diner Kinetic
see it can’t be the other way and land in Toedad’s mouth; because of course he doesn’t have one
I’ve never been to Taco Bell, would that burrito be more of a solid mass or a liquid at this point? I want to know what the probability is of a glorious burritosplosion.
It’s mostly the tortilla that hardens ime, so depending on how well it was folded we might be taliing brick or we might be talking a hard shell that opens and splats on impact like a meat-based hollow-point rifle bullet.
Annonymouse
And depending on the sauces used it could act like a non-Newtonian fluid on impact.
Have you ever microwaved cheese into gooey deliciousness, then waited too long so it congeals? Taco Bell somehow manages to up that effect by a factor of ten.
Couldn’t be since Bard’s have Bardic knowledge as a class skill and as has been shown before he isn’t doing that well at the academics at the moment.
Navaren
That IS bardic knowledge my friend. Its knowing just enough to bullshit the answer. He freely admits that he never had to try before. He’s like an INT 12 WIS 9 bard. Smart but never learned to study. Walky is totally a bard, probably of the Jester Ilk since the goofy stuff he does is how he charms people.
Wisdom seems a bit high, there. He has the occasional moment of insight, but they’re statistical bloops. And he’s got virtually no willpower at all. I’d put Wisdom at an 8.
Honestly I think the sea lion in that comic kinda has a point, considering it’s an analogy to internet arguments which aren’t the same as private discussions.
David M Willis
nobody owes you a discussion, keulen
Keulen
I don’t think they do. But that sea lion comic seems to me to be equating internet arguments which are open to everyone with private discussions in someone’s car or home. Which seems pretty silly to me.
not someone else
The sea lion comic is pretty dumb. I can mostly see the actual intention but for a good while my impression was its point was “people being loudly racist in public really, really hate being called on their shit”. Metaphors are like that, I guess.
Jon S.
The sea lion is insisting that he’s somehow “owed” an argument. That’s the point. Or are you trying to ironically sealion the sea lion discussion and I’m just missing it? Because I do that sometimes.
Keulen
I don’t see the part where everyone thinks the sea lion thinks it’s “owed an argument” or whatever. In the comic it seems to me that the humans said something bigoted about sea lions in a public place and then refused to defend their bigotry when the sea lion pressed them on it. And also the comic seems to be portraying the type of arguments that happen on the internet as if they’re private arguments in person at someone’s house.
thejeff
I think “owed an argument” is implied by the sea lion following them home and interrupting them in bed and at breakfast to continue to argue.
And it’s not a “private argument in person at someone’s house”. It was a private discussion that the sea lion overheard and then followed home. It’s only happening at someone’s house because the sea lion is pursuing it there.
The sea lion isn’t representing a race, its representing a type of behavior that it exemplifies throughout the rest of the strip.
ego
if you’re gonna talk shit, you absolutely are volunteering to back it up. not with violence, we’re not (all) children here, but by showing your calculations.
“they are the kind of assholes who will walk into your living room uninvited and unwelcome” isn’t a bad supporting argument, in this case. but in many real-world cases the OP wants to conceal inadequate argument to avoid feelings of embarrassment, and by no means does he retain that right.
David M Willis
I actually feel perfectly fine talking shit about Nazis and not feeling like I need to give them an argument back to satisfy them. I’m not “volunteering to back it up,” because that’s not actually what they’re looking for. They just want to waste my time and exhaust me so they can go murder more people. So no. I’m gonna talk shit about certain people. And I owe them nothing.
BBCC
The entire point of sealions is that they’re not asking you to engage in good faith. They ask a lot of questions that sound reasonable but they don’t actually care about the answers too and they don’t tend to leave you alone. Offer them sources or explanations and they’ll basically ignore the answer and continue asking (or, sometimes switch to new questions). Sealions are bad faith actors.
Whoever is responsible for making the red panels vanish —
Amber and Walky are in the only staircase from the roof. Sal prefers windows to doors, but unless she is ready to go down six floors on the outside of the building, she’s going to have to walk into the stairwell. And then?
Inahc
and then… best case, amber’s defused enough to take a deep breath and respond based on thought instead of ptsd. maybe she’ll still make an ass of herself but at least it’ll be by choice.
268 thoughts on “Satisfaction”
Ana Chronistic
*waits for reenactment of American Psycho where the next panel shows the doorstop protruding from the back of a
deadunconscious person at the bottom of the stairs*Clif
Fine, as long as it isn’t Dorothy.
Diner Kinetic
well obvs it shouldn’t be Dina or Becky or anything. I vote… hmmm…. Yeah, Mary deserves to be hit in the head with a depleted Taco projectile
HMH
It’s the same as depleted uranium, but denser, sadder, and more toxic.
autogatos
Are you describing the burrito, or Mary?
Shen Hibiki
… but does the poor ex-taco deserve the cruel fate of touching Mary?
NotPiffany
It knows what it did.
nobodybasically
What were the chances Blaine was breaking into the dorm at just that moment with Toe Dad riding on his shoulders?
And that the burrito would have the velocity needed to impale both on the way down?
Mr. Bulmbin
Required impalement velocity unfortunately can’t be reached in this scenario. However, if the burrito were to hit Blaine in the forehead or throat, it would be enough to knock him over, smacking Toe Dad’s head into the railing with sufficient force to cause severe bleeding, and possibly make him fall back over onto Blaine and break a rib or two. And that’s a best case scenario.
As for the chances of that . . . I don’t know, what do you think I am, some kind of nerd?
Crimeman
The burrito lands squarely in Blaines mouth and he explodes like the death star. Toe dad is collateral.
Annonymouse
Not so much like the Death Star [tm] but Mr Creosote.
Diner Kinetic
see it can’t be the other way and land in Toedad’s mouth; because of course he doesn’t have one
toby
I’ve never been to Taco Bell, would that burrito be more of a solid mass or a liquid at this point? I want to know what the probability is of a glorious burritosplosion.
Yumi
I mean, it’s definitely gonna splat real good.
shadowcell
at this point i think it’s actually used in certain munitions, like depleted uranium but worse for you
TerribleName
Cold Taco Bell burritos harden into a sort or organic brick. You could probably build a sturdy house out of them
not someone else
It’s mostly the tortilla that hardens ime, so depending on how well it was folded we might be taliing brick or we might be talking a hard shell that opens and splats on impact like a meat-based hollow-point rifle bullet.
Annonymouse
And depending on the sauces used it could act like a non-Newtonian fluid on impact.
Tacos
5 minutes have passed. It’s more a murder weapon at this point.
space
@Tacos These are the comments that make me want to have a Like Button
Bruceski
Have you ever microwaved cheese into gooey deliciousness, then waited too long so it congeals? Taco Bell somehow manages to up that effect by a factor of ten.
Dark
And yet, it’s still delicious.
Stu
I do have to wonder if Walky suspects she’s Sal’s alter-ego now.
Tacos
Walky already knows Amber is Amazi-Girl.
Beef
When did he find that out?
Questionor
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/hunt/
Joe Helfrich
To be fair, he might have forgotten. It is Walky.
Varangian
holy shit Walky threw a toy at a girl and hooked up with her AGAIN
fucking pro flirt move right there
Elsendor
wait when did he throw a toy at amber, i’m drawing a blank and i must know
thejeff
A couple of strips after the one linked above.
Beef
cheeze how’d I forget that
Freemage
Yes, but he still believes her name is Agnes Marshmallow.
AnvilPro
Dude this ship is so good
Clif
Yeah, they’re good for each other.
Keulen
I’m glad this ship isn’t dead yet, and they are definitely adorable together.
TrueVCU
Walky: Chaotic Good
CaptainObvious
Walky is a Chaotic Good Rogue with +15 to Charisma
cbwroses
I’d have said Bard.
Annonymouse
Couldn’t be since Bard’s have Bardic knowledge as a class skill and as has been shown before he isn’t doing that well at the academics at the moment.
Navaren
That IS bardic knowledge my friend. Its knowing just enough to bullshit the answer. He freely admits that he never had to try before. He’s like an INT 12 WIS 9 bard. Smart but never learned to study. Walky is totally a bard, probably of the Jester Ilk since the goofy stuff he does is how he charms people.
Zaxares
Str 13
Dex 12
Con 15 (got good abs)
Int 16
Wis 14
Cha 16
Freemage
Wisdom seems a bit high, there. He has the occasional moment of insight, but they’re statistical bloops. And he’s got virtually no willpower at all. I’d put Wisdom at an 8.
ShinyNeen
Did Walky seriously just defuse Amber’s red panels? That’s incredible!
Doctor_Who
He is the chosen one!
wwwhhattt
Not to mention the similarities with the other ‘verse: https://shortpacked.com/comic/sealions
Marsh Maryrose
Don’t say that out loud!
Keulen
Honestly I think the sea lion in that comic kinda has a point, considering it’s an analogy to internet arguments which aren’t the same as private discussions.
David M Willis
nobody owes you a discussion, keulen
Keulen
I don’t think they do. But that sea lion comic seems to me to be equating internet arguments which are open to everyone with private discussions in someone’s car or home. Which seems pretty silly to me.
not someone else
The sea lion comic is pretty dumb. I can mostly see the actual intention but for a good while my impression was its point was “people being loudly racist in public really, really hate being called on their shit”. Metaphors are like that, I guess.
Jon S.
The sea lion is insisting that he’s somehow “owed” an argument. That’s the point. Or are you trying to ironically sealion the sea lion discussion and I’m just missing it? Because I do that sometimes.
Keulen
I don’t see the part where everyone thinks the sea lion thinks it’s “owed an argument” or whatever. In the comic it seems to me that the humans said something bigoted about sea lions in a public place and then refused to defend their bigotry when the sea lion pressed them on it. And also the comic seems to be portraying the type of arguments that happen on the internet as if they’re private arguments in person at someone’s house.
thejeff
I think “owed an argument” is implied by the sea lion following them home and interrupting them in bed and at breakfast to continue to argue.
And it’s not a “private argument in person at someone’s house”. It was a private discussion that the sea lion overheard and then followed home. It’s only happening at someone’s house because the sea lion is pursuing it there.
Deathjavu
http://wondermark.com/2014-errata/
The sea lion isn’t representing a race, its representing a type of behavior that it exemplifies throughout the rest of the strip.
ego
if you’re gonna talk shit, you absolutely are volunteering to back it up. not with violence, we’re not (all) children here, but by showing your calculations.
“they are the kind of assholes who will walk into your living room uninvited and unwelcome” isn’t a bad supporting argument, in this case. but in many real-world cases the OP wants to conceal inadequate argument to avoid feelings of embarrassment, and by no means does he retain that right.
David M Willis
I actually feel perfectly fine talking shit about Nazis and not feeling like I need to give them an argument back to satisfy them. I’m not “volunteering to back it up,” because that’s not actually what they’re looking for. They just want to waste my time and exhaust me so they can go murder more people. So no. I’m gonna talk shit about certain people. And I owe them nothing.
BBCC
The entire point of sealions is that they’re not asking you to engage in good faith. They ask a lot of questions that sound reasonable but they don’t actually care about the answers too and they don’t tend to leave you alone. Offer them sources or explanations and they’ll basically ignore the answer and continue asking (or, sometimes switch to new questions). Sealions are bad faith actors.
thejeff
“nazis, SJWs and other racists”?
Am I missing something?
Yumi
@thejeff: I don’t know, but now I definitely am.
BBCC
@Yumi – a comment was deleted. Don’t worry.
jeffepp
Defused, turned it around, and made it give them pony rides.
Leorale
Laughter is the best.
Annonymouse
Yes.
Yes it is.
YAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA [naga]
ShinyNeen
*Korok Voice* Ya-ha-ha!
Viktoria
Amber fought off her red panels yesterday on her own. Today Walky helped her recover from the fight.
Marsh Maryrose
Whoever is responsible for making the red panels vanish —
Amber and Walky are in the only staircase from the roof. Sal prefers windows to doors, but unless she is ready to go down six floors on the outside of the building, she’s going to have to walk into the stairwell. And then?
Inahc
and then… best case, amber’s defused enough to take a deep breath and respond based on thought instead of ptsd. maybe she’ll still make an ass of herself but at least it’ll be by choice.
but somehow I doubt it’ll go that well.
Clif
Nah, by the time Sal gives up on waiting for Amazigirl, Amber and Walky will have gone back to her room. Not Walky’s room because Mike.
irimar
How’s Sal going to get in? Walky took the door stop.
Yumi
I can’t tell if you’re joking, but good one if you are.
erejnion
Of course Sal prefers to go down from the outside.
Felian