227

Scoffed
Posted on January 1, 2020 by David M Willis

227 thoughts on “Scoffed”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Happy Hindsight 2020

    1. DarkoNeko

      Akemashite omedetou gozainya !

    2. Agemegos

      I am determined to play [i]HindSight[/i] at least once this year.

      1. Agemegos

        HindSight

        One. One lousy 5.8% alcohol beer and I completely forget what mark-up language I’m supposed to use.

    3. Happilychaotic

      This absolutely killed me, thanks for the laugh! 😀

  2. King Daniel

    Time for the Turbulent Twenties (If the last few years of the previous decade were any indication)!

    1. Clif

      You haven’t seen anything yet. Now is when things get interesting.

  3. Suet

    Brochures? Ha. That’s… hm.

    Keep reminding him about the ribs, the nose, ooh, maybe throw in a hand.

    1. TheGrammarLegionary

      I wonder if Mike ever got sent to counseling and genuinely still has a brochure with pictures from that.

      1. King Daniel

        If I recall correctly, Mike is studying to be a social worker of some kind.

        1. Kinoko

          That actually makes a lot of sense for him. Social workers need to be able to see through bullshit fairly often, I’d imagine.

        2. vitalProximity

          Oh my gosh, that is fantastic. He will definitely get all the toughest kids. I actually have a fellow educator who is… Well, she’s not a Mike, but she’s pretty abrasive with certain coworkers. She’s a goddamn miracle worker with the kids who don’t respect any other staff though, and she’s also one of my favorite human beings on the planet. ❤️ If Mike’s actually invested in that as a career path, he could do really well, as long as he can keep his natural tendencies in check enough to actually keep his job.

        3. thejeff

          He could definitely do well at it, but he’ll need to change a lot before I’d begin to trust him in something like that. Currently I’d expect him to do far more damage than good.

        4. vitalProximity

          Does anyone have the link for this info?

  4. Nono

    Blaine, multiple people have seen you. The scooter company has your details. You have no guarantee that Mike hasn’t already told people.

    You’re about as smart as the Amoeba Boys.

    1. Doctor_Who

      That’s harsh…to the Amoeba Boys. At least they had stylish hats.

    2. ValdVin

      Are the Amoeba Boys some Fantastic Voyage version of the Beagle Boys?

      1. Doctor_Who

        That’s honestly not a bad way to describe them. Macroscopic, but otherwise on point.

        They were “villains” from the Powerpuff Girls, and incompetent to the point of being essentially harmless. So yeah, basically the Beagle Boys.

        1. He Who Abides

          Actually, the boys did cause serious harm once. Admittedly they were trying to break anti-loitering laws and accidentally became plague-spreading mutants, but still harmful. Just not intentionally.

    3. AbacusWizard

      “The scooter company has your details.”

      The scooter company’s gonna have a blood sample if Amazi-Girl keeps that up.

    4. Needfuldoer

      The mask is for him, not the rest of the world.

  5. Bicycle Bill

    One more step up, Mike, and you should be able to kick a field goal with Toedad’s head.

    1. Doctor_Who

      A kick to the throat would be devastating, but Toedad doesn’t have a neck.

      1. DarkoNeko

        would that count as stepping on his toe ? Anywhere, really

        1. DaveM

          Toedad was wearing a neck brace when he was released on bail. Noticing that’s missing now, so depending on how critical it was, a kick to the head (or similar) could be potentially fatal (or crippling). He does strike me as the sort who would remove a neck brace against doctors orders because it annoyed him and “god will keep his hand over me during this trial”.

        2. BigDogLittleCat

          Toedad took the brace off Sept 24.
          It looks like it’s just a soft foam collar for whiplash/sprain. Not what’s used to stabilize the head when movement is actually dangerous.

          On the other hand, normally any kick in the head would be dangerous, but this *is* Toedad.

  6. ValdVin

    After the rollerskates, then the skateboard, nice to see that electric scooter get a field promotion to Amazi-Scooter!, a vital member of the team.

  7. bryy

    I love how Ross is just ready to tangle with this 17-year old.

    1. David M Willis

      look he’s 18 don’t get me in trouble

      1. Clif

        Also, it’s Mike. Don’t get your mom in trouble.

      2. Tan

        When in your life did you think you’d be in a position to have to give standard hentai disclaimer?

        1. Ryek Hvek

          Today we need that warning before the first crayon draws the first stick figure.

        2. HeySo

          It’s Willis, tho. “Standard hentai disclaimer” is just how he says hello.

    2. Zellgato

      To be fair.. Ross hasn’t actually attacked him. and previous panels show him less than inclined to murder a child (I mean even by his logic murder ~should~ still be bad outside of his specific ‘family murder protection” insanity.
      Still hasn’t thrown a punch, ahsn’t talked.
      and between th two kids it seems like he should be more inclined to murder the one who stopped him before… rather than the child who walkedu p insulted the other guy and then ran away.

      So.. seems more apt he’s justt rying to scare the kid off and then return.
      though pretty sure he or mike’ll fall off the building

  8. Madock345

    That first panel

    Pretty sure Blaine has totally snapped now

    1. vitalProximity

      Pretty sure he was born snapped

      1. Tacos

        Then why isn’t he a pile of dust yet? Thanos is not amused.

        1. vitalProximity

          He is a pile of dust, just colorful, sentient dust grouped into a vaguely human form and cosplaying as a supervillain.

        2. HeySo

          So what you’re saying is, he’s what happens when you snort too much pixie dust as a kid?

        3. vitalProximity

          Yes, exactly, thank you.

          Alternatively, think the Vashta Nerada à la “Silence in the Library,” hijacking spacesuits to communicate with the Tenth Doctor…

  9. Zech Judy

    Evil mask or no, I can’t take him seriously with that doofy grin.

  10. Huehuetotl

    brochure or tract?

    1. vitalProximity

      Yes.

    2. abysswatcher1993

      It’s Mike, not middle school Joyce.

      1. vitalProximity

        True, but Mike is all about knowing his target audience.

    3. SeanR

      Brochure. For it to be a tract, with the targeted audience, I think Jack Chick would need to be involved.
      Somehow.

    4. Tawdry Quirks

      I would very much like to see Mike’s brochure.

      1. Dean

        All of the pictures are of Mike with Ross’s mom. One of them features a nickel.

      2. Deanatay

        Jason gets a copy of it, here. It’s really quite compelling.

        1. vitalProximity

          Omg perfect callback 10 years in the making, Deanatay. Perhaps this was the brochure in its rough draft form? Before the pictures, I mean. If Mike’s willing to spoof webpages for Walky, I’m sure his brochure would be very polished as well.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Hurt So Good” on the hacked P.A. speakers*

  12. DailyBrad

    I guess Ross already is in for a penny, in for a pound.

    1. Clif

      In for a penny, in for a pounding.

      Fixed that for you.

      1. Dara

        This is definitely the worst Slipshine.

      2. 3-I

        And I really was.

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          terrified time traveler noises

      3. Leorale

        Pounding your mom, for a nickel

      4. Michael Lanting

        In for a nickel, in for a pounding, you mean 🙂

  13. Kyrik Michalowski

    Well now we get to see how Mike handles himself in a fight against a full grown man. I’m going to put my money on Mike and Amber winning but only because betting on the other two would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

    1. Zellgato

      I’d like to vote for the two teens… but I’m pretty sure one of them will die.
      Off hand guess is mike’ll fall off thebuilding, ross not intending it but will cause it regardless.
      possibly falling on abusidad killing him because mike’ll go “…well I’m gonna die anyway. I might as well gbreak his neck”

  14. Agemegos

    The arresting officers are going to be telling stories about this one for twenty years.

    1. SeanR

      Hey, at least they’ll never have to buy their own drinks ever again.

  15. Keulen

    Keep reminding Amazi-Girl of your weak spots Blaine, that seems to be working so well for you. And I like how Mike is just backing away from Ross instead of trying to punch him.

    1. Nono

      Looks more like he’s leading Ross up the… fire escape?

      1. Keulen

        Going for the high ground. Seems like a good strategy. It worked for Obi-Wan.

        1. Sunny

          It really depends. It turns out the high ground is not actually an advantage in swordfights.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9FrN58T-VE

      2. Tacos

        Since Toedad skipped Leg Day, going up a couple of steps is probably gonna leave him winded.

    2. SeanR

      Ross isn’t actually evil. His motives aren’t actually selfish. He’s just misguided to such a degree that his actions are equally as destructive. I think Mike is trying to neutralize Ross without giving him the beatdown he doesn’t actually deserve. Maybe put a worm of self doubt into his head.

      1. WaterKey

        His fundamentalist beliefs drove his wife to suicide. He kidnapped his daughter at gunpoint with a full willingness to use it on her friends and anyone who got in his way, even if it meant he died in the process. He intended to “fix” his homosexual daughter to fit his fundamentalist Christian views which belong somewhere in the 1950’s.

        You can be misguided and ignorant while still being evil. A refusal to acknowledge his own culpability or reflect on his actions and a willingness to use lethal force against anyone who opposes his beliefs goes well beyond “misguided”. The earlier Fox News analogue also proves that he’s unwilling to accept challenges to his beliefs of the world, instead listening only to what he wants to hear.

        Ross had many chances to walk away or reflect, but instead? Instead he’s trying to once again kidnap his daughter so that he can whisk her away and force his beliefs upon her, with untold harm to Becky, her psyche, and any innocent bystanders as a direct result of his actions.

        Ross is ignorant, misguided, and a product of his environment. But that does not stop him from being a malicious and evil individual. And that is exactly what he is, justifying his bigotry and controlling nature through bible-thumping. He deserves just about every single thing that comes his way as a result of his choices and actions.

      2. James

        Forcing someone to live by your beliefs to the point of threatening people and kidnapping them with the intent of abusing them into changing their sexuality is in no way selfless, regardless of how Ross tries to justify it.

      3. HeySo

        Okay, evil has three main interpretations.
        1: Immoral. Anything which usurps the agency of another human is considered to be inherently immoral. Ergo, evil.
        2. Wicked AKA The intent to harm another. He went around assaulting people and threatening them with a gun. Ergo, evil.
        3. Irrational, destructive behavior. Nails this one to a T. Ergo, evil.

        Not exactly sure how you’re coming up with “he’s not evil”. Perhaps you were thinking of another word? Maybe weevil? Yeah, he’s not a weevil, that’s true.

        1. HeySo

          Putting aside such technical considerations, it’s worth noting that most “evil” in this world is done by willful ignorance, arrogance, and/or a devaluation of others (or their perspectives). Whether cruelity or whatever other consideration you’re basing personal considerations of “evil” on is involved or not is just not at all relevant. That’s just a bonus. After all, someone could wipe out an entire civilization to test a new drug, just because they don’t properly value the people involved, and it’d be commonly accepted that such an action was evil (see definition #2).

          Evil isn’t about engaging in a certain narrow range of actions, it’s about not valuing others in a way that fulfils fundamental moral standards, and about acting in destructive ways. That’s Ross, no matter how you poke at it.

        2. SeanR

          Ross firmly believes that, by doing what he is doing, he can save his daughter from the eternal punishment the she’ll undoubtedly be subjected to if he does nothing. It may be misguided in the extreme, but it is most certainly selfless. He is willing to sacrifice his own good name and freedom if it means he can protect his daughter from even herself.

          He is most certainly doing great harm, but his heart IS in the right place. He wants to protect his daughter.

          For evil, there really does need to be some malice, or at least a disregard for the well-being of others.
          For evil, look to Blaine, who will throw away anything and anyone to secure personal comfort and satisfy his need for power.

          Coming to a different solution than you would on a weighty issue doesn’t make someone evil or indicate that they are evil. It may indicate they are stupid, if they are incapable of considering the alternatives, or more likely foolish, if they simply won’t, but not evil.

          Also, do we know his fundamentalist beliefs drove his wife to suicide, or perhaps it was that she was already prone to suicide and his own fundamentalist beliefs, which she may have shared, stood in the way of her getting competent help?

      4. BigDogLittleCat

        Rather, Ross doesn’t think he’s evil, whereas if you asked Blaine if he is, he’d probably cop to it, because he doesn’t care.

    3. Jhon

      As long as Mike is backing away, he can keep talking.

      1. HeySo

        Talking is a free action in combat, everyone knows that.

  16. Reltzik

    We nae had fun around the Bros
    And punched the Ryans fine
    But we’ve garnered mony a weary toe
    Sin all dads syne

    … admit it, you don’t know what it means any more than I do.

    1. Clif

      Sin some dads syne.

      #Not All Dads

  17. EvilMidnightLurker

    Blaine was born to be a supervillain.

    Fortunately for everyone else, the Dumbiverse only supports a few minor comic book hero tropes. So far.

    1. thejeff

      Well, hopefully it supports the comic book hero trope about the heroes winning, despite the odds.

      1. JBento

        The odds are actually with the heros here – a hammer DOES hurt more than a fist, but you need to actually swing it, meaning every blow is telegraphed and AG actually has combat training, and Blaine is coming in with ribs not on par.

        And one good blow to Ross’s face is gonna make that neck scream.

        1. thejeff

          I’m surprised she hasn’t just taken it from him already – nowhere near the risk to grab for that a knife is.

          Neither of these two has shown any signs of being skilled in a fight. Amber handled Blaine easily before even if she lost control in the process.

          Mike might get overpowered if he can’t mess with Ross enough.

  18. ESM

    Much as I want this whole super-hero thing to spiral into complete insanity, I’d also be okay with Ross realizing that absolutely nothing that’s currently happening helps him in any way and he just leaves.

    Blaine: Ross! No! If you leave now it will all be for nothing!
    Ross: I mean….I could just come back tomorrow? The only reason I’m working with you is out of politeness and now you’re asking me to murder some child I don’t know for reasons that don’t concern me.

    1. Blatherskite

      Yeah, that would be nice. But that would require Ross to have at least a vestigial self-awareness, something that he unfortunately lacks. And Blaine, while a huge loser and a tool, is a good enough manipulator to control a simple-minded fool like Ross.

      1. SeanR

        Mike is also adept at manipulation, remember. So now Ross is in a tug-of-war between two ace manipulators. One who wants him to commit felonies, and one who just wants him to leave his friends in peace.

        1. SeanR

          Well…more felonies. I’m pretty sure “Vehicular Battery” probably already is one.

        2. Zellgato

          I mean Ross probably would consider that one a misdemeanor. he was driving down a road-he was legally allowed to (well past the whole I assume he wasn’t allowed to be on campus anymore by law), and the child drove into him.. and given where Mike hit, that would be backed up by the damage.
          So I assume to Ross, that will be thrown out by the court or low penalty just like his previous crimes “because I’m doing the right thing” situation.

          So, I don’t think it would count as attempted manslaughter or felony assault from that situation. Well it a good prosecutor could easily turn it into a felony–by citing the past domestic abuse and domestic violence, and violence on school property charges. But.. considering he got out of jail relatively easily…. There isn’t a good prosecutor apparently.

          Honestly hoping for an off duty cop to shoot one or both of them.

        3. BBCC

          He’s out on bail, which must be given except for murder cases, and hasn’t actually been sentenced yet.

        4. Blatherskite

          That is also true. So far during this scene, Mike’s manipulating has been focused on just getting Blaine and Ross to follow him away from his friends. He’s still doing that with Ross. The question now is, what is Mike planning to do now that Ross is focused on him?

        5. vitalProximity

          Except Ross has already put his faith in Blaine, and NOT in Mike, so Mike will automatically have to work harder to manipulate him because Ross has no reason to trust him, and in fact has some reasons to actively distrust him. Not saying Mike can’t do it, but it might not be easy, even though Ross seems easy to lead.

  19. Cass

    Amazing that how we’ve seen him act up until now is Blaine thinking that he’s restrainting himself for his family (among other things, but that’s the one that stands out ’cause like hell you ever sincerely thought about their good for two second shithead)

    1. DSL

      Nah, everything Blaine’s saying in this strip can easily be translated as: “Without the mask, there’s a chance I’ll be caught.”
      Not that that makes any kind of sense, but since when does anyone’s motivations have to make sense to anyone else?

      1. DSL

        … Herman Wouk put it best in “The Caine Mutiny”: “Sir, please don’t ask me why officers do anything.”

  20. abysswatcher1993

    Without his mask Blaine is a loser. He is a scumbag working for the Korean mob, wasting money, and abusing others to feel good about himself.

    With his mask he is just a loser with a mask.

    Mask or not mask, you are what you make of yourself, good, evil, weird, etc.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Moral of the story: don’t be a Blaine.

  21. pjeseb

    NO Mike. Don’t go up the stairs!

    1. abysswatcher1993

      I WARNED HIM ABOUT THE STAIRS BRO! I TOLD HIM, DOG!

      1. vitalProximity

        It JUST KEEPS HAPENIND

        1. Dara

          This is pretty much the best “so long, 2010s!” comment thread.

    2. vitalProximity

      Why not? Get Ross most of the way up the stairs and then one solid side kick to the chest sends Toedad a-tumblin’.

      1. Clif

        Mike isn’t going to kick him. He can read people. He’s going to go for what really hurts. He’ll let Ross punch him and then turn the other cheek while loudly praying for Ross’s soul and asking God to forgive him.

        Maybe.

        1. Savail

          I…kinda want to see that. Kind of.

        2. miri

          That would be amazing!

        3. JBento

          Mike’s actually versed in scripture, so this should be fun.

        4. jufreire

          oh PLEASE LET *THAT* HAPPEN

        5. vitalProximity

          That would be fantastic.

    3. Tacos

      How else is Mike gonna emulate Skywarp if he can’t push somebody off the stairs?

    4. Marsh Maryrose

      Down the stairs is Ross. Mike staying where he is…is Ross.

      Obviously at some point Mike should jump over the rail. But first he should lure Blaine up the stairs as far as he can and still have a safe jump for himself.

  22. Sirksome

    I’m really starting to think mental illness runs in Amber’s family.

    1. vitalProximity

      No shit? ;P

      Although, pretty much everything Amber exhibits can be attributed to trauma. It could just be Blaine with a non-acquired mental illness

      1. Clif

        Taking up with Joe’s dad may not be the stablest of decisions.

        1. miri

          But he does seem to really like Amber’s mother, even if part of that is a massive ego boost (she’s considerably younger apparently, and he gets to rescue her and be the good boyfriend after she dated somebody so bad he’ll never screw up on the same level)…

        2. thejeff

          That, combined with getting with Blaine in the first place, seems more like being easily swayed and a poor judge of character, rather than any kind of mental illness.

        3. vitalProximity

          Agreed. Also, people who had a narcissist for a parent (and didn’t have another strong, healthy relationship modeled in their lives) may be more likely to end up with a narcissist themselves, simply because their behaviors and worldviews don’t trigger the red flags they do for most people. I feel like I read a statistic about that somewhere at one point, but I’m not positive so don’t quote me on it. I could definitely provide a number of separate cases as anecdotal evidence, though… 😛

          Anyway, the whole thing with narcissists is they’re typically capable of being quite charming and charismatic, so if you jump into a relationship quickly, you may not realize you’re getting a facade until it’s too late and you’re stuck with the real deal.

      2. not someone else

        Abuse also runs in families, so it could be both!

  23. tim gueguen

    Something tells me Blaine, unlike Amber, doesn’t actually have any martial arts training, and that his “moves” consist of badly aping things he saw on Walker, Texas Ranger.

    1. Dave

      My first day of Tae Kwon Do class was our instructor showing us exactly how easy it was to dodge or block a bar-brawl style roundhouse punch. XD

    2. Icalasari

      Good news for Amber, then!

    3. HeySo

      “and that his “moves” consist of badly aping things he saw on Walker, Texas Ranger”

      I dunno about martial arts, but that’s exactly what I reference when I’m trying to dance! ..on another note, this is why I don’t dance without copious amounts of alcohol within me.

  24. Doom Shepherd

    Don’t do it, Ross! Mike has the high ground!

    1. Icalasari

      Now I’m imagining Ross as Darth Vader. He’d end up tricked on a bus to a different galaxy far, far away while Palpatine just groans

  25. Woomy

    LPT: put a thin piece of fabric over your eyes, that way you’ll no longer be subject to the constraints of society and it’s laws

    1. Clif

      Good to know. Let’s see, I have some fabric here somewhere.

      1. Tacos

        Ah, don’t forget to cut some eye-holes at least.

        1. DSL

          Nah, let ’em figure that part out on their own.

  26. Dave

    This is just reminding me that these guys somehow decided it was a good idea to go being dumb thugs while they still have healing ribs and vertebrae.

  27. BarerMender

    No freaking way a father doesn’t recognize his own daughter.

    1. SeanR

      You’re assuming he’s a father. He’s her biological male parent, yes, and yes, she lived in his house for several years, but he’s hardly father material.

      1. Booker

        Hard agree. I’ve seen plenty of people who don’t deserve the title of father or dad. Heck….biological donor is about as clinically generous as I would venture

        1. Bagge

          In addition, Blaine is a self centered idiot.

        2. miri

          Come now: biological material and severe, mentally destabilising childhood trauma donator…

          He really is a horrific piece of work.

      2. Blatherskite

        And in addition to that, it’s night time and there seem to be no street lights nearby. Even recognizing someone you do know from a dimly lit silhouette is actually quite difficult.

        1. vitalProximity

          Especially when they’re talking in the blue text voice! (…And also have totally different posture and body language than you’re used to. And, like, actually make direct, even confrontational, eye contact with you and stuff. Body language and physical mannerisms are a HUGE part of how we identify people we know, especially if we can’t see their faces, hair color, etc.)

      3. BarerMender

        Doesn’t matter if he’s a “real” father. He lived with her for 12 or 13 years. He’d know her at a glance.

        1. thejeff

          And this obviously isn’t his potato of a daughter.

    2. thejeff

      And there’s no way this aggressive, confident stranger could be his pathetic, whimpering daughter. That’s ridiculous.

    3. tim gueguen

      80 years of Robin have shown us that the domino mask is one of the most effective disguises known to man.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Second only to a pair of horn-rim glasses a la Clark Kent.

    4. HeySo

      Amazi-girl has a completely different voice, doesn’t slouch as amber does, and has a significantly different hair-style. Moreover, he keeps only encountering her at night, when she’s hard to see. Add in that her movement and posture is completely different than he expects, and the fact that he never paid his daughter much mind in the first place, and the fact that he’s completely egocentric..

      I dunno, seems plausible enough.

    5. Zellgato

      Certainly might. But I really doubt he actually cares.
      Why would he care? he’s broken and he wants to murder that person.
      in the broken mind he probably doesn’t actually understand that murdering one causes the other one. He probably thinks he can urder amazigirl to force out any form of resistance in amber.
      actual consequences aren’t remotely in his brain. as evidenced by the mask and the armour.. he somehow? was carrying

    6. BigDogLittleCat

      Blaine cannot see Amber as anything but a weak, cowardly waste of space. Amazigirl’s fierce competence is a disguise he cannot see through.
      He probably dismissed as luck the punch she landed on him on Parents Day.

  28. Agemegos

    Watsonially, my prognosis is that this is all over in thirty seconds, with Blaine and Ross enjoying a special opportunity to start their pre-trial detention with a nice stay in the prison infirmary.

    Doylistically, I’m waiting for the Asher shoe to drop. Willis won’t leave a Chekov’s nark dangling. Given Asher’s known M.O. I expect to find that he has dropped a dime on Blaine. the question is, with whom? Asher’s gramps won’t find Blaine’s conduct amusing. On the other hand, Blaine can’t do a deal with the police by ratting Asher out.

    1. Blatherskite

      Re: the Doyle clause, have we seen what kind of position Blaine has in the organization? Sincere question, because I don’t remember if it was ever mentioned. Maybe it’s been established that Blaine is a low-level mook who doesn’t have any real authority and is seriously pressing his luck. But if it hasn’t, I wouldn’t bet that Asher’s grandpa would particularly care.

      1. Agemegos

        I don’t recall it being definitely established what Blaine’s status in the mob is. I can think of two pieces of evidence suggesting that he is pretty lowly, but neither of them is conclusive.

        The first is that Richard described Blaine to Joe as “…a real piece of work, an actual mob stooge“, where a stooge is someone who allows another person to use him for profit. But Richard can only be reporting what Stacy told him, and she might not have been both fully informed and precise in her speech. (I.e. that’s unreliable for the reason that such hearsay is not admissible evidence.)

        The second is that Asher said “my gramps owns you.” That sounds to me as though Blaine is a vassal of Gramps’ mob, not a member. But it’s not conclusive.

        Anyway, there is evidence that he is a lackey of Gramps’ mob, and there is no evidence that he a member of or enforcer for it. Could be that our evidence is wrong or misleading and that Blaine is something we have no evidence of. For example, Blaine could be the long-lost heir of the dukedom of Saltire. There’s no evidence that he isn’t.

        1. Blatherskite

          Yeah, neither of those is really all that informative. Richard’s info, as you note, is hearsay at best. And Asher is on the outs with his grandpa, and contemptuous of Blaine, so there’s no reason to think he knows the details beyond “this asshole works for my grandfather”.

          Ultimately, I’m pretty skeptical Blaine’s boss will care much about this, as long as Blaine doesn’t get him and his crime-business directly involved. And it appears he hasn’t yet.

        2. Tacos

          Well Mike’s been also calling him a mob stooge in the past few strips.

        3. DaveM

          When Blaine threatened Asher by saying he could always make his Gramps be ““, Asher backed down. This seems to suggest that Blaine either has the ear of “Gramps”, or that Asher believes he could sabotage him without being detected. In either case, Blaine would seem to be more than a low level disposable thug. On the other hand, we’ve seen no evidence that Blaine is capable of being anything less than a hired thug.

        4. DaveM

          And one of these days, I’ll get that “a” tag correct. (mumble, grumble)

        5. thejeff

          Or that Blaine has evidence that’ll piss Gramps off, even if he isn’t particularly trusted.

        6. DaveM

          Yeah, but to get Gramps to look at that evidence either requires that Blaine is trusted enough for Gramps to accept his evidence, or that Blaine is trusted enough by someone who Gramps trusts enough to present evidence. We don’t know which one is true, but we do know that Asher assumes one of them is true. Mind you, the fact that Blaine has recruited ToeDad as a minion does suggest he doesn’t have underlings of his own to send on his personal revenge plans (or if he does have underlings he doesn’t have the authority to use them for such things).

        7. BBCC

          I mean, the bail money for Toedad came from somewhere. Blaine, ostensibly, doesn’t have enough money for more than one kid to go to college, and a whole community couldn’t raise enough to get Toedad out.

        8. vitalProximity

          Yeah but Blaine launders money for them through his fake business. There’s no way the mob thinks his current mission is legit enough to be worth them financing it but NOT worth actually assisting to be sure it succeeds, so I think he’s in deep shit no matter what, because I’m pretty sure he’s gone rogue with some of that money he’s supposed to be laundering… And I’m not sure how he’s expecting to pay it back. Eventually they’ll notice… Probably pretty soon, honestly.

        9. Needfuldoer

          Don’t forget the whole “laundering millions through your fake carpentry business” bit. I think they just use him as a fall guy.

        10. Jon S.

          Which might make the Boss disinclined to permit Blaine to be closely questioned by police, particularly in relation to incidents on a campus where Asher is a student. The longer that goes on, the higher the chance that Blaine could say something that could incriminate the Boss.

          Thing is, it’s easier to dispose of the low-level people in such an organization – there’s always someone else greedy enough or dim enough to take their place. Those with actual influence are also sufficiently experienced that they can be hard to replace.

  29. Tacos

    At least Mike now doesn’t have to hope that he dented Toedad’s car when he crashed the scooter into it. Looks like Blaine’s fucking up the car for him.

    1. Clif

      Sure, except for the fact that it’s Blain’s car, or at least identical to one we’ve seen him driving before. Plus or minus a few dents.

      1. Tacos

        Dohoho! Even better!

    2. Needfuldoer

      That’s Yuri’s car. (When they took it to pick Faz up from campus, Amber didn’t react as if it was Blaine’s.)

  30. LeslieBean4shizzle

    It looks like the insidious Peen Hammer is ringing in the new year.

    1. Jhon

      And Blaine is a lefty.

  31. He Who Abides

    I cannot be the only person who sees Mike and Ross’ interaction, just to think of Ellen asking Gineus (butchered that name, I know) if they’re supposed to be fighting during the Painted Black storyline from EGS. Please tell me that someone else thought of that.

    1. miri

      I hadn’t but YES!

      Guineas I think BTW ?

      1. He Who Abides

        Yeah, that spelling looks more correct, thanks. Makes me wish Dan had a search function on EGS.

  32. Dara

    Also, I adore Mike in Panel 3. “It’s got pictures.” xD

    1. Dara

      “_There’s_ pictures.” C’mon, me. It’s not even late.

  33. Rikunda

    I don’t think there is a phone call to the police… I am starting to think Mike is becoming a victim.

    1. AeromechanicalAce

      I doubt it. Ross was able to be decked by JOYCE. Mike is a hell of a lot meaner than she is, and ross still hasn’t fully recovered from last time.

      1. thejeff

        Evidence for Mike being tougher than Joyce? Meaner yes, but not in a physical sense. An enraged Joyce hits hard. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Mike in a fight before and have no reason to think he’s good at it.

        Normally he just talks to you and messes you up that way.

        1. BarerMender

          Mike evidently has spectacular abs, says Amber, so he must keep in shape. He can probably render a sharp blow.

        2. Jhon

          After all his taunts, Mike is still alive. He must dodge pretty well.

        3. vitalProximity

          Okay but she decked Ross when he was totally not expecting it. He was trying like… Explain to her or something why he was in the right. He LIKES Joyce, probably thinks she was a good influence on Becky. I don’t think he ever even considered as a possibility that she would be actually ANGRY… Let alone mad enough to punch him.

          Mike, he is definitely expecting some resistance from.

  34. Jess

    Ya know. I have a feeling that while Amber is fighting daddy dearest, that toedad will push Mike off a roof… Just a weird feeling.

  35. p!enapple

    Happy New Year, Dave and all here!

    1. Agemegos

      Thank you! A peaceful and prosperous new year to you, too.

      The chamber of commerce in the town I live in put on a New Year’s Eve fireworks display last night. They held it at 9:30 PM so that people wouldn’t have to stay up late.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Our community did two of them … one at 6:00 PM on New Year’s Eve for the benefit of young people and others who wouldn’t be able to stay up late, and then the extravaganza at midnight.

  36. DarkoNeko

    Toedad is still going for it after all. And there it looked a bit like he doubted Blaine. err I mean, EvilDad, earlier.

    1. Savail

      I liked someone’s suggestion yesterday for AbusiDad. Can we make it stick?

      1. Deanatay

        Still prefer Dad-Joker.

      2. DarkoNeko

        Abusidad does sounds thematic with Amazigirl

    2. Wraithy2773

      He hasn’t thrown a punch yet, the most he’s done is gotten in the way of Mike with his car. Might be me being too optimistic about, ya know, humanity and shit, but I can still see him being conflicted about this.

      Previous strip’s show him being “convinced” that Mike’s just bluffing, which just happens to line up with someone not wanting to get into violence.

      1. DarkoNeko

        it’s hard to see whether Toedad is conflicted about something, when his facial emotions are those of a dead cow

    3. 3oranges

      The Human Toe wasn’t a good enough villain name?

      1. ego

        only if The Tick makes an appearance.

    4. Zellgato

      I feel like he isn’t intending to murder Mike. probably intending to knock him out or otherwise disable him so he can run off with his daughter.
      if anyone he’d be inclined to kill amazigirl after previous time

      that said. I think he’ll end up knocking mike off the roof (with or without him) and mike’ll fall on Abusi-dad/shit for brains supervillain

  37. NinjaNick

    I hope Mike finds a toe-like mask for Ross. XD

  38. Zatar

    Blaine talks about the mask freeing him to do what he wants as if he was ever not a piece of shit.

    And Mike…..Honestly by this point Blaine might be such a fucking Dork that Toedad would be cool in comparison. And that’s kind of sad.

    1. Bagge

      That’s a very good point.

      Blaine without a mask: “Time to murder a teenager with a hammer!”
      Blaine with a mask: “Where were I? Oh yeah. Time to murder a teenager with a hammer.”

      1. JBento

        “I have become the mask.”
        “No, Blaine, you always were the mask.”

    2. DarkoNeko

      Blaine “it frees me of the constraints of family” eeh yeah, like he ever really bothered with that one.

  39. Tan

    So I’ll be honest, Blaine (Terrib-Dad?) is kinda rocking the supervillain look…. Except for the hammer. I think it’s just too small relative to the size of his fist? That it just makes him look ridiculous. Buy a bigger hammer next time. Or pick a different weapon entirely.

    1. Tan

      Sorry. I have been corrected. Abusi-Dad

      1. EvilMidnightLurker

        The Belligerent Ball-Peen.

        1. Deanatay

          Dad-Joker.

        2. vitalProximity

          Um, hello, the Peenetrator??!

        3. vitalProximity

          Awwww, I messed the link up. Here. Hopefully that’s the right one this time… It’s the comment by Oddball. 😛

    2. Stanistani

      Best villain name for Blaine is Small-Peen Hammer.

    3. trades

      Looked it up cause I was interested. The reasoning behind a ball peen hammer as a weapon would be that if you’re on parole you can get in trouble carrying a weapon. With a tool like a ball peen hammer, you can both easily conceal it and justify carrying it either for an occupation or for checking tire pressure, then use it for smashing windows, or superhero freshmen.

      Blaine presumably has it for that express purpose or just to generally avoid a mess with cops.

  40. Bagge

    So, Blaine took a good look at amazi-girl and thougt “That looks kinda cool. I want to try it for myself”

    That’s… kinda good attitude right there. I never thought I would say it, but that’s the spirit, Blaine.

    (everything else you have ever done in this comic is Bad Form, though. You maybe should ease up on that whole ‘hurt kids out of spite’ thing).

  41. BenRG

    Nice callback to the Walkyverse in this strip – Amazi-Girl using a scooter as a weapon. Readers of Shortpacked may remember Amazi-Girl’s first appearance and using a roller-popper as a makeshift warhammer!

  42. Ray Radlein

    yes yes Blaine keep pounding your own car into submission with your tiny tiny hammer yes yes that is good

  43. Synnerman

    Blaine reminds me a lot of Hal Jordan with that mask on.

  44. Judas Peckerwood

    I am so NOT betting on the Bad Guys here.

  45. RedComet

    Can’t tell if the first panel is a reference/nod to that one Green Lantern cover from the early 90s with deranged Hal Jordan or if that’s just Blaine’s new vibe .

    1. JBento

      Oh, gods, he’s Purple Parallax.

  46. DaveM

    Hang on, hang on.
    A belief in his own superior intelligence despite all proof otherwise.
    Overly (and needlessly) complicated plans.
    Takes disproportionate revenge based on minor or quasi-imagined slights.

    Is Blaine Nale?

    1. DaveM

      Which would make Ross Thog I assume.
      By Lao Tzu’s crucible it kind of works…

      1. Daibhid C

        Okay, but running through the League of Shitty Parents from there, I ended up with Carol as Sabine, and now I need to scrub my brain with a pad of steel wool.

        1. DaveM

          Well, if you’re looking for shitty parents, the Dumbiverse does have a veritable Cornucopia of options.

          Me, I was going with Yuri being Sabine, and Faz as Pompey (the half elf wizard who worked with the Linear guild for just under 150 strips).

          That said I do agree that Carol as Sabine is disturbing on a visceral level, but Linda could sub for her easily. Let’s face it, we’re spoiled for options here.

        2. DaveM

          Oh my lord, is Walky Elan?
          Should we expect “Nightboy” to enter the fray soon?

        3. King Daniel

          Nah, the role of Elan will fall to a character never before seen – Enialb.

        4. DaveM

          Oh good, that’s reassuring. 🙂

  47. kilgaen

    Man, those masks speak for themselves. In superhero comic book dialogue.

  48. hof1991

    AG was dazed and confused but now she’s back on task. The mask gave EvilDad #1 an advantage for a minute but now that’s gone.

    Betting on police involvement at some point, just because that’ll end the EvilDad’s as characters for the school year.

    And Joyce should have answered her phone. Hank wasn’t checking on her church attendance, he was trying to prevent murder. Her first day as a Christian doubter has not been very successful.

    1. Vulcanodon

      Also Hank should learn to text. All she needed to know is “Ross is out of jail”

    2. Zellgato

      I mean dad should’ve texted. AND left a damn message.
      AND informed campus police.

  49. Alaric

    This being a Mike Warner/AmaziGirl team-up, I keep expecting the two evil dads to suddenly unleash their secret weapon- their newest recruit, a giant mutant frosted honey bun.

  50. BBCC

    Happy new year and new decade, everybody!

    Ringing it in with Blaine reminding AG of his ribs is a good start.

  51. Zellgato

    Whelp who will be the first death of this new universe.. 4 current takers~
    Kind of guessing it’l lbe one adult and one child though.
    Mike+ probably one of the adults.
    It’ll be weird if the idiotdad dies narratively though, as that’ll entirely derail her storyline.
    though if mike dies that’ll probably send amazigirl out the window narratively.

    off hand feel like it’ll end up with Mike leaping off the building ot kill the new supervillain to save amazigirl and also die. Given Mike’s depression and his urge to actually help lately.
    Much less the history of those two characters (mike and amazigirl/amber)

    1. Zellgato

      Also…. They both used their own credit card on the cycles.. which now have DNA from various people in it.and those are GPS tagged so they’ll be hard to hide without relating it to whoever dies tonight.
      so thats a thing.

      Much less cameras that likely exist given how much crime occurs in that area that results in injuries this year. or at least police should patrol nightly

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Willis has assured us over and over again that no one will die in this strip.  I’m depending on him to keep his promise.
      However, that does leave the window open for someone being seriously maimed, however.

  52. Cardinal Country

    Welp…none of this is going to end well. That said…it would do Toedad well to just walk away. Never underestimate Mike.

  53. TemperaryObsessor

    Toedad already publicly showed up on a college campus with a gun and threatened an innocent student with it. He’s out on bail. The not becoming a criminal chance has passed for him. But he could decide not to dig himself deeper.

  54. TheLurkerAbove

    Holy shit, Amazi-Girl is strong, those e-scooters are like 12 kg!

    1. Bicycle Bill

      About the weight of the average bicycle, in other words.

  55. motorfirebox

    Those scooters all go at the same speed. The speed… of JUSTICE.

    1. vitalProximity

      So like, 15mph? … Sounds about right.

  56. Joe Covenant

    How did he get the hammer back?
    It went flying when he was chest-kicked…

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