158

Scoot
Posted on February 14, 2013 by David M Willis

158 thoughts on “Scoot”

  1. Boom

    You know you’ve been single too long when…

    1. darcos0

      there should be a scoot tag.

      1. Resne

        Babaguuscooties

      2. TheBeneneator

        Scooties may rule!

  2. Nexev

    How is daisy a more obvious lesbian then the person litterally named lesbian?

    1. ASmellyOgre

      Because, at least so far, Daisy has made some mention of wanting to fuck a girl in every appearance she’s had, as opposed to miss Leslie Bean, who has been a very professional teacher and not had it come up yet.

      1. GrrArg42

        Oh. My. God. I have never, throughout all of Shortpacked and DoA, noticed that Leslie Bean spelled lesbian. Robin calling her “lesbian” for so long makes a LOT more sense now. I.. I need to lie down.

        1. Groove

          I entirely share your pain. I wonder if I’ve actually been awake when I’ve been reading these.

        2. Dragon Nataku

          … I didn’t notice til now either. At least my excuse is that I usually read these things at 5-6am and am definitely not awake. ^@__@^;;

        3. appoh jack

          Crap. I’m in the same boat. Slightly embarrassing.

        4. Lessica

          Three years later… Oh. My. God.

        5. Mal

          I could be wrong, but I think she was called “Lesbian” before she was ever given an actual name. I thought I remembered Mr. Willis commenting on giving her that name well after her first appearance.

        6. TheLurkerAbove

          Well, I hope you did notice Ruth’s and Dina’s names then…

        7. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

          Yeah, I had the same problem with Ronald Regan

    2. Valdrax

      She’s a journalist. She wouldn’t know subtle if it wrapped its legs around her face.

      1. Gordon Blvd

        damn………………………………….. Just………………………………………………DAMN! ROFLMAO!!!!!

      2. Wack'd

        Daisy/Subtle OTP

      3. nothri

        I’m not sure how much she would care at that point….

      4. Tucker

        Pure gold.

      5. MIB4u

        … her FAAAAAAACE!

      6. Pat

        Well, you can hardly blame her for that. It would be acting rather out of character at that point.

  3. David Herbert

    You’ve aroused her attention, Billie.

    1. Zoey

      “aroused her”…..key word

    2. LWS3

      I think it’s more than her attention that has been aroused…

      1. Yarrr

        Her suspicions too, right?

  4. HK-A6A7

    Forget A-G!
    It time for something new:

    Ruth Lessick… Hero or Menace?

  5. Piemanpie24

    Scoot is my favorite sound effect

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    “I smell a story!”

    1. Broken Products

      More like, ‘I smell a story I can shlick to!’

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That too… 😀

      2. |Agent

        “Schlick”, the female equivalent to “fap.” The more you know…

    2. TPman

      I smell a promotion!

    3. Andrusi

      Your gravatar makes this at least a hundred times better.

  7. Sensedog

    *Sigh*

    Well…

    *Makes popcorn, pulls up a chair, and awaits the inevitable shenanigans*

    1. Mkvenner

      *swipes a hand full of popcorn*

      1. Wonder Wig

        *hands out crème brûlées*

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Is that French for hand cream?

        2. TPman

          Technically no, but you’re free to use it however you want.

        3. GrrArg42

          *hands out scones and lug nuts*

        4. Izzy

          *Hands out hand outs*

        5. Borp

          *hands out hand jobs*

        6. Xydux

          *Hands out threesomes*

        7. xKiv

          *Hangs out*

      2. George

        *hands out roast goat*

  8. Axel Bordelon

    DAISY! OFFER BILLIE ADVICE TO GO MAKE OUT WITH RUTH RIGHT NOW!

    1. taekwondogirl

      You are a horrible, horrible influence.

    2. Rognik

      Screw that! Go after her yourself, Daisy! I’m sure nothing bad will come of THAT.

      1. Thor

        Which her?

        1. Jonrock411

          Both?

        2. Spazman

          well, obviously.

  9. Davriel

    THIS IS RELEVANT TO HER INTERESTS

  10. Mkvenner

    She still hasn’t found a girlfriend yet.

    1. nothri

      For some reason Daisy doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl who’ll lose interest in this topic even after she is able to routinely get some.

      1. LWS3

        In other words, she’s the female Joe?

        1. Tylertlat

          Can you imagine if Joe and Daisy teamed up? No girl would be immune…

        2. drs

          Asexuals.

        3. xKiv

          You could define those to be “no girls” – always saying “no”.

  11. Wonder Wig

    Daisy smells opportunity and Billie might as well be the vault.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Daisy has a pole? This is an unexpected character trait.

      1. Izzy

        +1

  12. Raibean

    I think I have lost my side-bet on Mike being involved.

  13. Count Dracula

    Daisy might be a lesbian, people. I know that this might be a shock to your systems, but I feel that my theory has some merit.

    1. Null Set

      Is Daisy gay in this universe?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Is the Pope going to retire soon?

        1. GrrArg42

          What about his 401k?

        2. CWR

          He’s going to a convent, apparently – my wife said it sounds like they are putting him out to stud…

    2. TPman

      I’m a little concerned that you would promote that theory without precedent as to whether Shortpacked characters retain the sexual orientation of their previous incarnations.
      Just because It’s Walky Daisy was gay doesn’t mean this one will be. Statistically there’s still a ~90% chance she’s straight.

      1. Zababcd

        No precedent is needed, Willis said sexual orientations won’t change.

      2. bunivasal

        “Statistically”? This is a story written by a human being; the characters are not subject to genetics but by the vagaries of its author’s interests. And David Willis’ interests do not produce a universe that has a 90/10 hetero/gay split.

        1. Harry

          i read that as “vaginas of its author’s interest”

      3. TPman

        Dammit people! Don’t you remember the Ethan controversy?
        We never did get a firm answer from Willis on that did we?

  14. Athedia

    I was thinking “OH CRAP! If your relationship with Ruth was complicated before, imagine after outing her to the whole campus. You are screwed!” (and not in the good way.)

    1. George

      You really think Daisy is going to do more with this information than masturbate and attempt to pick up Ruth?

      1. Nerdman

        Considering how she told Billie that the paper wasn’t a gossip column, doing anything else would be pretty hypocritical.

  15. Videoman23

    … go on….

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That seems so wrong with the sly grinning Joyce avatar.

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    Daisy is thinking THREESOMES I am sure. 😀

  17. Uniqueantique

    Oh yeah! You did it now Billie. Wait until Ruths’ reaction when Daisy shows up at her door, with a 6 pack and box of candy, or some such items.

  18. Null Set

    Oh hey, hovertext.

    1. Thor

      Now DW has to go back and add hovertext to all of the previous Walkyverse comics.

    2. Phyc

      Glad someone else saw that :V

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      So very xkcd.

      1. GrrArg42

        Indeed. : ) Can’t beat xkcd hovertext. That being said, I think this is the best first hovertext I have ever seen. I eagerly look forward to its contribution to comedic timing.

        1. Thor

          xkcd hovertext is not exactly comparable because it is more like an integral Part II of the main joke.

          A better comparison would be to the explanatory aside hovertext of the abovementioned Girls With Slingshots, or the MST3K-type commentary of Guilded Age.

        2. Mr. Random

          xkcd can’t compare to this because xkcd has an app that I can use to read the alt-text on the I-devices. (Roundabout way of asking people to please post the hover-text/alt-text. Please. Pretty Please? Might I enjoy laughter too???)

      2. Jimmy

        I prefer GWS hovertext.

    4. Valdrax

      I pity the poor new readers who come later, discover the alt-text after getting into the strip and reading the archive, throw curses into the lonely night, and then start re-reading the strip to find the point the alt-text begins — only for it to be 2 1/2 years into a 5 days a week strip.

      …N- Not that that’s happened to ME or anything.

      1. Zababcd

        Thankyou for being the person who describes it as alt-text. I had no idea what everyone was talking about until I read this comment.

        1. Kelly

          Of course it is actually neither hovertext nor alt-text, but title-text.
          And I am pretty sure none of the authors of HTML foresaw it being use quite this way.

    5. dcmeserve

      NO fair! I’m using an iPhone to read all these.

    6. Roborat

      I have got to get new glasses, when I first read this, I thought it said “hoversex”, and I was thinking, cool, a new sex position. Could have been worse though, at least I didn’t think it said Hooversex, that could be painful.

  19. NCP19

    Please…tell me more.

  20. Raine

    Huh. Why do I feel Daisy is gonna be reaaaaally key in Billie/Ruth’s relationship?

    Not now of course, too early in the storyline for that. This might be played for a few jokes right now but I’m feeling she’ll -really- shine sometime far later.

    1. TPman

      Would make sense. Her lesbianism has gotten quite a lot of screen time after all (well compared to Daisy herself anyway). There’s probably a story purpose behind it.

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    Billie: “Why am I surrounded by lesbians?”

    1. PBManning

      “How many lesbians we got in this comic?”
      “YO HO!”
      “I knew it, I’m surrounded by lesbians.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It’s a Willis comic, sooner or later, everyone has a lesbian moment… even the guys.

        1. Spazman

          If you’re confused about that, just ask Stephen the Lesbian.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCTbFN0EsDM

      2. Gnome

        Well then, keep firing lesbians.

        (I know it’s obvious, but I honestly can’t stop myself.)

      3. Jimmy

        “Who is she?”
        “She’s Leslie Bean”
        “I know that! What’s her name?”

  22. showler

    So…isn’t this outing her? Or at least potentially doing so?

    Bad form. Especially since Billie doesn’t really seem angry about it anymore.

    1. Loquat

      So… if someone of your own gender unexpectedly kisses you, and they’re not generally known to be gay, you’re morally required to get their permission before telling anyone else about it? No matter how abusive they are, or how much you want outside advice?

      1. Zababcd

        Being outed can destroy someone’s life. What Ruth did to Billie doesn’t compare. Billie can tell someone about it, but casually mentioning it to the chief editor of the college newspaper is unintentionally cruel.

        1. Kateface

          Being sexually assulted can destroy someone’s life.
          Are you saying she should just keep her mouth shut about it because it might hurt the person who assulted her?

          As the someone who has been sexually assulted in a similar situation, I find your morality deeply flawed on this issue.

        2. Zababcd

          And I find your morality deeply flawed on this issue – ‘an eye for an eye’ is an outdated mode of thinking. I already said, quite clearly, that Billie has every right to talk about it, so no, she should not keep her mouth shut about it if she doesn’t want to. She can press charges against Ruth if she wants. She just has no right to tell it to the chief editor of the newspaper, because that’s not about the sexual assault, that’s about hurting Ruth for the sexual assault.

        3. Kateface

          Not really.

          An eye for an eye would be publishing the pictures of her passed out drunk.

          It’s the difference between punching someone back when they punch you, and telling people they punched you which will result in people knowing they have anger management issues.

          And no, I’m not comparing having anger management issues to being gay. I’m comparing it to forcefully shoving someone you have been harassing and have authority over up against a wall and sexually assaulting them.

          Why shouldn’t she tell the story about how she was assaulted? The more publicity this stuff gets, the better. It makes other victims feel a bit less alienated and maybe even give them the courage to come forward.

          Sometimes, there’s nothing more comforting than knowing that you are not alone, and that what happened to you is wrong and unfair. Alienation turns to internalization. How’s Joyce doing?

          Personally, I think this outweighs what might happen to Ruth. Who, we must remember, is the perpetrator in this whole mess.

        4. Roborat

          Billy didn’t out her, she just said she was kissed by her. She could be bi, or poly, or just really affectionate. Girls kiss all the time, doesn’t mean they are necessarily gay.

        5. Zababcd

          To me, saying she was kissed by Ruth is outing Ruth, and she doesn’t have to imply anything else. Ruth still kissed a girl, and Billie is outing her for that.

          Besides, I think in this context we (and Daisy) can be fairly sure that Ruth wasn’t just being really affectionate.

      2. showler

        If Billie still seemed angry about what Ruth did, I could understand her actions. However, she still seems to go back and forth between fury at Ruth and concern for her. At the moment she seems caught between concern for her and concern about her.

        1. dcmeserve

          Perhaps her brain really hasn’t processed what happened yet, so she’s blabbing it to everyone she talks to in a semi-conscious attempt to get help in understanding it.

    2. ender1200

      She kinda kissed billie in a public coridor… I don’t see bystanders looking at her in the strip, but it was most likely a pretty public scean.

      Beside, billie isn’t thinknig straight at the moment.

      1. George

        I bet a lot of people heard the slam and looked over. If anything, Billie only telling Daisy about the kiss will make the “outing” less painful because the newspaper story won’t mention the violence.

        1. begbert2

          There were several seconds between the slam and the kiss. Plenty of time for everyone in the hall to scoot (scoot scoot scoot) out of range of the upcoming uncomfortably violent scene.

        2. George

          I suppose that’s possible, but surely some of them came back once they realized they were out of popcorn.

          Seriously though, I doubt Ruth was expecting the hallway to clear, especially considering that people could always crack their doors or something to keep watching from a safe distance. Therefore, even if nobody technically saw, it’s perfectly reasonable for Billie not to think Ruth wants this to be secret.

      2. xKiv

        > Isn’t thinking straight

        Heh, heh 😉

    3. Thor

      Bah. Billie already outed Ruth, in a much more public way.

      https://twitter.com/Billie_B97

  23. Lancer

    And thus hovertext began showing up in the comic. Glad I caught it when it started… or is this just gonna be an off-and-on-thing?

    1. ASmellyOgre

      Good catch!

    2. dcmeserve

      So what does it say? I really don’t get a chance to see the strip except on my iPhone. Thanks!

  24. Arkadi

    Scoot on, girl.

  25. Leon

    Yeah, she might want to look up subtlety in the dictionary.

  26. John

    Sadly, Daisy’s more subtle than most of the commentariat.

  27. Wixvhen

    INB4 RUTH IS OUTED ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER!
    Phew, totally called it first! *looks at the other comments* I think.

  28. slicedtoad

    It kind of looks like Daisy is sniffing Billie at first glance

  29. Björn

    I still here Daisy’s lines in the voice of J.K. Simmons. I wonder if that will persist in the coming strips.

    1. Björn

      *here = hear

  30. nothri

    Lesbian senses…tingling….

    (that and her lady parts)

  31. Kirby

    I see three options up ahead:

    1. Daisy surprises us and offers some useful and thought provoking advice.

    2. Daisy turns this into a story for the paper, even further shattering Ruth and/or Billie.

    3. Daisy shows up on Ruth’s doorstep (as it were) in her underwear.

    Any bets?

    1. Kirby

      And now that my avatar has become Joe, I am obligated to pick the third.

      1. Zoey

        rofl perfect^

    2. xKiv

      1+3+?: Daisy and Billie show up at Ruth’s doorstep in her[1] underwear.

      [1] not a typo

  32. LS

    After receiving her first real success since arriving at college, Billie will leap at the opportunity to expose Ruth, without considering the consequences.

    Being outed as a lesbian is bad enough, but Ruth would probably be thrown entirely out of college for this level of inappropriate behavior.

    Ruth will commit suicide by swerving her car into an oncoming semi. Billie will be utterly destroyed by the guilt of causing Ruth’s death.

    1. GrrArg42

      … but … she … only a kiss …

      THAT escalated quickly. (yes I know the reference, but still)

  33. Alex Stritar

    This is the perfect strip for Valentines Day. XD

  34. Aeyt

    EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! PSYCHO R.A. KISSES EX-HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER!

  35. Dr.Z

    Billie?

    You REALLY need to learn who to confine in.

    As a former cheerleader, ya should be old hat about this stuff.

  36. Pinja

    …

    I don’t much like Daisy

  37. Notebooked

    Hmm. Two points:
    Number one, I think it can safely be said that Daisy is out, or at least she seems to be casual about speaking about who she’s attracted to. Even though she seems quite casual and comfortable about her sexuality, we don’t know if she was like that all the time. Whether through this or just common sense, she ought to know a public outing — let alone one to all the school, to someone who’s in a position of power and needs to know people will listen to her — can ruin someone’s life. It remains to be seen if she’s desperate enough for a big story to do that.

    Two: Daisy didn’t believe Billie when she said Ruth was a tyrannical despot. Billie doesn’t have any proof. Daisy may just think Billie’s trying to destroy her reputation again. However, Daisy’s previously expressed annoyance at the lack of lesbians (man, I’ve never written that sentence before) in the school, so she may believe her out of sheer wishful thinking.

    Er, three things: Billie’s not entirely comfortable with this whole thing, either. Publishing something about how Ruth kissed Billie wouldn’t exactly be neutral for Billie. (Plus, I’m doing this assuming entirely that Daisy’s scooting up to Billie for more interest in the story — what if she’s interested in her? If that’s the case I imagine some sort of “fuck off, Daisy, I’m not a lesbian” lash-out response — Billie’s still pissed off and uncertain — and then a conversation about sexuality which may be entirely private and not for the paper at all.)

    Several conflicting motivations? Potential for a new relationship? (Okay yes, I realize a whole “I don’t know if I’m attracted to girls” “Well, we’ll check” scene would be cheesy as hell and, since Billie isn’t yet at ease with issues, probably wouldn’t work. But the Friday cliffhanger’s coming up soon! It’s going to be Daisy and Billie kissing with Ruth staring at them, shocked, from the distance, I tell you) Ensuing drama? Bless you, Willis!

    1. Notebooked

      (er, Billie doesn’t have any proof that Ruth’s a lesbian. Dangit, I rarely forget to just leave out an entire part of a sentence.)

      1. bunivasal

        I think you’re expecting Billie to adhere to a standard of evidence that would be pretty out-of-character for her.

        Aside from the awkwardness associated with outing a possibly-secret lesbian, it also bears remembering that Ruth is an RA and subject to a code of conduct that she almost certainly violated with pretty much her entire treatment of Billie. Putting this story in the paper could (justifiably) get her fired, ejected from the dorms, kicked out of school, or even brought up on charges, depending on how strict the RA code of conduct is, what the local DA is like and…

        Okay, so I’m fairly confident we won’t have to sit through a lengthy legal ordeal when wacky hijinx could solve it in a much more satisfying, Willisean manner.

        1. Notebooked

          True, expecting Billie to adhere to a standard of evidence would be out of character, but not for Daisy, who’s already shown herself disinterested in what Billie says about Ruth without confirmation.

          Yep — it could ruin her professional life and her private life. It’d get her fired, which would take her away from the school, which would make us lose one of our important players (I think! All the action so far has taken place on or around campus, or, in the case of the field trip, in the presence of a great deal of students, but I don’t know if the fact that it’s a high school comic makes campus the only possible setting), which would make the drama between her and Billie sort of…unresolved. Which wouldn’t be satisfying.

          So you’re probably right — no lengthy court hijinks for us, which might mean no school newspaper publishing. (Also also — Billie still has self-preservation instincts. Ruth’s job is all she has. If she’s fired due to Billie? Oho…before, there were tears, but now there will be blood. But it remains to be seen if Daisy realizes what big a deal this is or/and runs the story anyway.)

          Heh, considering all the speculation about what will happen after Billie tells Daisy, it’d be pretty Willisean (my new favorite word, by the way) if Billie just let it drop there and went to class.

        2. bunivasal

          On the other hand, Daisy has no obligation to shush the story simply to allow Ruth to keep her job. After all, she has been systematically harassing and bullying Billie for the entire semester, in addition to what could possibly qualify as sexual harassment. Regardless of Ruth’s troubled past and confused sexuality, nobody should feel any sympathy for her if she’s fired as a result of her own actions.

          I know Roomies partially moved off-campus when it introduced Ruth and Billie because they were non-students (?).

        3. Notebooked

          Yeah, I probably should have said that clearer–I said it in my first post, that Daisy probably knows it can ruin her life but there’s no telling if she wants a story enough to do that. (Or possibly the slightly more considerate option — keep it out of the paper but report it to the school board. Daisy doesn’t really like Billie, but if the choice is between ‘stuck-up ex-cheerleader’ and ‘dining room tyrant’, chances are she’d go with Billie.)
          And Daisy doesn’t know about Ruth’s harassment, though, does she? She didn’t believe Billie when she told her. I get what you mean about the sympathy bit — I still occassionally get this knee-jerk reaction of “but she’s troubleeed”, but that really makes no sense. These are her own actions and they shouldn’t go unpunished. I just don’t think she’ll get her karmic retribution here, because Daisy doesn’t believe Billie about Ruth’s violent behavior. (Also a more meta reason — because if Ruth gets thrown off campus so soon after all this, then there’ll have been a lot of build-up for a little payoff, which wouldn’t be a very satisfying storyline. You could argue that Ruth being fired would be pretty big payoff in itself, but I think this whole situation would keep worrying/preying on Billie to the point that her just being fired won’t solve Billie’s problems with her.)

          Ruth had a house nearby, I think, while Howard was a student. (I keep wondering if Howard’s going to return in DoA. He was a one-sided nerd in the original — an update would be interesting.)

  38. Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)

    Scoot! is the word!

  39. tahrey

    Oh crap, Willis has discovered Tooltips / Alt Text. We’re totally screwed, now. #DAMNYOU

    1. Tandel

      I’d say he’s screwed, not us. Assuming he uses this for the glorious double punchlines ala XKCD, it means more work for him and more hilarity for us.

      1. Notebooked

        Two daily webcomics, now with double the jokes! In other news: David Willis has not slept for two years.

    2. Darkflame

      The only screwed people are iphone users! ha! take that! 😛

      (actually come to think of it, this must apply to any phone OS? Unless theres phones with wacom screens I dont think any can support a “hover” action)

  40. Roborat

    Hmm, Billie seems to have activated her lesbian magnet.

  41. Spazzy

    I just thought you weren’t doing hovertext cuz you didn’t want to XD

  42. drs

    For the record, I got the impression IU Bloomington is a pretty good place to be gay. Lots of gay pride solidarity signs around campus. A transwoman-run cafe seemed to get a lot of support. “Liberal college town” not “Indiana”.

    Granted, Ruth’s family might be another matter entirely.

  43. Jen Aside

    Just wanted to point out that my BF caught me reading today’s Roomies! with “Ponytailed girl with glasses who isn’t Billie” and thanks for being all clever and putting Billie in this strip for quick reference =D

  44. Andy Leighton

    YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU CAN ADD HOVERTEXT AND I AM SO EXCITED TO READ YOUR HOVERTEXT HABLABLABLABLA

  45. Aaron B.

    Gomer Pyle Hall?

  46. Maycroft

    see, that’s the type of stories that get attention.

  47. Orion Fury

    Because of a comment from Roomies yesterday, I am doing an archive binge on this strip. As of right now, Willis has not been evil enough to go back and randomly add alt-text to past strips.

    1. Jenny Creed

      No, just one strip.

      That’s considerably less evil, right?

      1. Orion Fury

        Really? I wonder which one.

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