254

Second chances
Posted on November 23, 2013 by David M Willis

254 thoughts on “Second chances”

  1. Jen Aside

    except

    wait

  2. Herohatch

    Danny seems like the type just desperate enough to ask for that second chance.

    1. Ourorboros

      “JUST” desperate enough?
      I think he seems like the kind that is far beyond that line.

      1. That Damn Rat

        Actually Danny is really unlikely to do that. Poor bastard clearly mates for life, so if he’s going to get invested, a long term relationship has to be on the cards.

    2. Rutee

      Um, in general, maybe, but he also <3s Amazi-girl pretty bad.

    3. taekwondogirl

      Not really? Desperate for a relationship maybe, but not desperate to bang.

  3. March

    Thank you Billy, for saying what everyone was thinking.

    1. AckAckAck

      Ding!

    2. DavidMcG

      …b-but he actually HAS been dating Amazigirl?

      1. David Willis

        ssshhhhhh

  4. saltchocolate

    This cannot go anywhere good.

    1. Thor

      Of course not. Danny’s involved.

    2. Ourorboros

      Sure, growth.
      Understanding what he really has and what he really wants.
      Maybe getting a spine and starting to become a man instead of a male shaped slug.
      All without Mike slamming his face in it.
      Don’t get me wrong, I’d read a strip that was nothing but Mike getting people to face themselves (with some Dina thrown in), but in real life that’s more than a little brutal. Even for me.

      1. saltchocolate

        By this measure, anything and everything we do (or don’t do) is a positive step. We can all learn from our mistakes, yes. But I think there has to be room to describe some of our actions as moving in the direction we wish to be going, while others are headed away from where we want to go (even if they teach us how to read the map better as a result).

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Well it wasn’t a delusion before at least.

    1. Viktoria

      The sad part is, he doesn’t know that. All he knows is that his superhero girlfriend didn’t show up for a date and isn’t responding to his DS messages*. He’s probably worried sick. I suspect that’s why he went to Billie, he wanted her to get the word out.

      *I have no proof of any messages, but they seem likely.

  6. Luzahn

    Poor Danny. Everybody seems to think the worst of him. I swear, the comment are corrupting the timelines or something.

    1. saltchocolate

      I usually don’t jump on the dump on Danny bandwagon. But in the above strip . . . ?? There is no positive step he can take from this conversation opening.

      1. Derek

        Really? I’m half expecting him to try to get a best guess from her who Amazi-Girl is and try to get some resolution. That would be progress at least.

        1. JustcallmeSoul

          would it be a positive step to apologize her billie for assuming that everything he says is newspaper worthy and then explain his plight, asking for relationship adcive? because i either see this going that way, or amber coming back and seeing him talking to the reporter whom he emerged from a dorm room looking rather rumpled with… and the latter is not a positive step…

        2. John

          If it pushes Amber and Danny further apart, it’s a positive step!

        3. JustcallmeSoul

          man, im telling you, half a beer and 49 hours of sleep deprivation are hell on the ability to type coherent sentences with proper capitalization and punctuation.

        4. AckAckAck

          The drama tag will jump up and down with joy. Also it can fill a month arc easy.

        5. saltchocolate

          Okay: positive for the fandom, yes. Positive for Danny (and probably for Amber and Billie), no. But I do love a joyful drama tag!

      2. Ourorboros

        He can learn that life is not a fantasy. He can learn to act and not just wait to be acted upon.
        The last two would not come immediately and might take some straight talk, but these are overwhelming positives.

        1. BardOfPrey

          Pretty sure that’s not going to happen – David Willis would never be that merciful.

  7. Pyr05

    Oh Danny, even the truth (of sorts) doesn’t seem at all credible from you.

    1. John

      It’s not even the truth anymore. He accidentally dumped her.

      And you have to be a really talented fuckup to accidentally dump your girlfriend.

      1. AckAckAck

        Natural born fuckup XD

      2. Viktoria

        No, he quit being Ambers friend. She then broke up with him, without even telling him.

        1. John

          Danny’s the one who told Amazi-Girl he didn’t want to hang out with her anymore.

          He just… didn’t realize he was telling Amazi-Girl.

        2. Rowen Morland

          By that logic didn’t he tell Amazi-Girl that he didn’t want to cheat on Amazi-Girl?

        3. That Damn Rat

          Just becuase she avoided him, doesn’t mean they broke up. It just means Amber is avoiding dealing with it for now.

  8. Keroshino

    No chance, Danny!!!

    1. Aizat

      Danny has a chance…just as much of chance of Capcom actually releasing Megaman Legends 3 or they make a sequel to Shin Mazinger.

      1. Keroshino

        Dude, not cool!

        The pain of Megaman Legends 3’s cancelation still hurts!!
        He’ll…even just getting a New Megaman game is suffering!!!

        1. Aizat

          Hell, the pain of not having Shin Great Mazinger hurts too, you know. Especially with the fact that they pretty much teased it in the finale.

        2. Keroshino

          Yes that sounds sucky too! 🙁

      2. AckAckAck

        No, just no. I still want MM Legends 3 dammit! I don’t want to make you my enemy D:

        1. Aizat

          You think I don’t want Megaman Legends 3 released too? Heck, I’m still hedging my hopes for a Maverick Hunter X 2 and Power Fighters 3.

        2. Heavensrun

          At this stage, I just kinda want Capcom’s corporate HQ to be annihilated in a meteor strike.

          I mean, if they -did- make Legends 3, it’d just be terrible and soulless, and they’d spend the next 15 years holding the franchise hostage while they sell us an endless stream of HD rereleases of it. Not to mention the overpriced on-disk “DLC” they’d try to milk us with.

        3. Jackson

          Hey, at least there’s Mighty No. 9.

        4. AckAckAck

          Mighty No.9 is great and all but it’s just basic Megaman/MM X and not Legends. Legends are great Magaman third person shooter in its era.

        5. Keroshino

          You mean like the already do now?

  9. Aizat

    Dude, not a good idea to say you’re the girlfriend of a vigiliante.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      There might be a nice big fridge in Danny’s future.

      1. Aizat

        Well, that would shut “them” up.

        1. timemonkey

          Who is them? If it’s the Danny haters a lot of them would laugh. The ones familiar with the other universe would call it karma.

        2. John

          I’m still rooting for karma payoff by truck.

        3. Aizat

          That truck better be Nemesis Prime.

        4. Keroshino

          that’ not how you spell “Scourge”!

        5. Aizat

          And that’s not how you spell Thundercracker.

      2. Keroshino

        I read that as “nice big Bridge” and thought:
        Great!, Danny is gonna get kidnapped by Green Goblin and thrown off a bridge!!!

        1. Lauren

          I wouldn’t mind Danny being a refrigerator girlfriend……just so long as no one tries to save him. Seriously, he has 0 redeeming or even interesting qualities as a person. He’s so hated that he’s getting pity support.

        2. Aizat

          Hey, at least it’s not about making a deal with the devil to save someone’s dying old aunt, I’m good with it.

        3. AckAckAck

          Blame the writer who just got out from painful divorce. That asshole decided to ruin everything good in Spiderman because of his hatred for marriage.

        4. Nena

          Willis got divorced?

        5. hexalm

          I think they meant the writer for Spidey…

        6. AckAckAck

          Yeup. This is why I have distate toward DC and Marvel ever changing writers. Some maybe hit the jackpot by pairing the right writer with the right story. But most of story ended up completely screwed up thanks to writer’s arrogancy/super ego.

      3. Roborat

        Or a shark.

    2. etyb

      Danny’s a chick now?

      1. AckAckAck

        I think he’s a duck.

        1. Aizat

          Don’t you mean a jellyfish?

        2. Keroshino

          Space-Duck!

        3. Aizat

          Such a majestic creature.

      2. Ourorboros

        “Now”? He has been a chick.
        Even his own father subconsciously knows this. His advice to Freshman Family Day was to hang on to Dorothy because she is going places. This is advice mothers used to give to their daughters. Hang on to a guy because he is going places – and will be able to provide.

        1. Pat

          Oh look. Blatant sexism.

          Is that better or worse than claiming not to be sexist? I can’t tell.

        2. V Missirian

          i dont know. it may be a female #stereotype#, but danny is following it closely.

        3. V Missirian

          but then again, danny is being judged more harshly for this behavior (by most people, including me) than a girl.

        4. Rani

          I think it’s because, and pardon my french, we are aware of how privileged he is. His personality is such an affront to us because of how little he’s made of how much we think he’s given. And because we don’t know much about his back-story, or even how his mind operates, we’re left with an average guy surrounded by incredibly well-drawn, growing characters. His characterization suffers from it.

          But I have to admit; make a social club consisting of Amber, Sarah, Joyce, Roz, Walky and Joe and I’d think twice about rocking that boat for the reasons I just described.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    She doesn’t count as a waifu until you get a body-pillow of her.

    1. Aizat

      Don’t remind me of that.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Or a Real Doll.

    2. KingMabel

      What if I use her photo as my background slideshow on my computer?

      1. Aizat

        Or have a small shrine in the closet?

        1. timemonkey

          As long as it’s tasteful. Just a poster and a few candles.

        2. Aizat

          Well, of course. I mean, it’s not like Danny have a lock of her hair or anything, right?

        3. KingMabel

          Right, just a poster…. just a …… 3′ X 5′ hand drawn poster….

        4. Wack'd

          The gum I used to construct the shrine was very tasty. Is that the same thing?

    3. John

      Faz might have one he could borrow.

  11. Aizat

    The newspaper is safe from wet-dream fueled delusions…but it’s not safe from human stupidity.

    1. KingMabel

      Nobody is safe from that. The dead still suffer and those yet to breathe already have a shit storm waiting for them.

      1. Aizat

        Yeah, best way to lose faith in humanity is just read a newspaper.

        1. KingMabel

          Or Youtube comments…

  12. Wonder Wig

    Danny will now be kidnapped by Amazi-Girl’s enemies in 3… 2… 1…

    1. AckAckAck

      And stuffed in a fridge in 3….2….1….

    2. Ourorboros

      She still needs enemies. An archnemesis would be better.
      I want it to be Mary, going overboard with the everybody has sinned thing. The Purifier or some other religious/conflagration themed name.
      In fact Joyce seeing the two battling would be a nice insight moment for her.

  13. Quatoria

    I’m guessing he’s going to try and convince Billie that Amazi-Girl must be in danger, since she never showed for their date. Then again, I’m always happy to be surprised by Willis!

    1. saltchocolate

      I was just thinking “Maybe he’s going to ask her to print a classified ad: Dear Amazi-Girl. I miss you. Meet me in the usual spot?”

      1. Nono

        And that’s when Dorothy strikes, revealing she was using Danny as bait all along!

        ‘YOU’VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP DANNY!”

        1. Aizat

          And then Amazi-Girl then said: I CHAINED YOUR TRAP CARD TO MY TRAP CARD and then reveals that she has Walky held up somewhere.

        2. JustcallmeSoul

          pix or it didnt happen

  14. Kernanator

    “No, it’s true! We made out by the side of the road! I still have the scratches to prove it!”

    1. Aizat

      “And pictures”

      1. AckAckAck

        “And liquid, in my pants!”

        1. KingMabel

          “Also, smell my finger!”

  15. Aizat

    Well, at least Danny isn’t actively trying to get himself in danger.

  16. Juliecat

    What is a waifu?

    1. Aizat

      From the Urban Dictionary: Weeaboo for “wife”. Don’t say this word ever, please. An even detailed definition: A term coined by Otaku and Weeaboo alike for their 2D significant others; predominantly anime and video game characters. A Waifu, in contrast to a harem, is the love between one man and his one and only Waifu. You treat your Waifu with the utmost respect and courtesy and most refuse to even fap to their beloved, seeing the act as an insult to the non-existent woman they have committed themselves to.

    2. ninja_jesus

      A phenomenon originating within otaku subculture in which fans of certain anime shows proclaim their romantic devotion to a particular character within a show. The word “waifu” (ワイフ) is the Japanese pronunciation of the word “wife”, used by men to refer to female characters they are particularly fond of. The equivalent to “waifu” for women is “husbando” (ハズバンド).

  17. John

    Hey, Billie, remember, you almost banged him, and Amazi-Girl is a total nerd too, so it’s not… whoa, right, Billie is still convinced that Sal is Amazi-Girl. She’s all, “If I can’t get in her pants with my clumsy alcohol-fueled passes, this dork sure can’t.”

    1. timemonkey

      Sal and Danny? Hooking up? That is for to laugh.

      1. Aizat

        Yeah, next you’re telling me that Mike is hooking up with Dina.

        1. timemonkey

          That possibility is less funny and more explosive.

        2. AckAckAck

          So you’re saying it made the shipping turn into ash?

        3. timemonkey

          Groovy

        4. John

          Is that the best she could do?

      2. Lauren

        I’d say even the shippers won’t touch that…….but they will :S…..

        1. Rutee

          I didnt’ read the walkyverse beyond shortpacked, so all I know of Mike/Dina is that in the Drama Tag Universe, when Alt-Mike offers a threesome and Dina (I think?) immediately objects, he amends it to a foursome to include her.

        2. John

          Mike and Dina dated for a bit in It’s Walky!. There was Drama and it… ended badly. In the D.T.-verse, due to lack of Drama, they’re apparently still happily together in Shortpacked!-era.

    2. Ourorboros

      Well she didn’t seem too worried about her failure before. It was more like she had too much sexual energy and he had guy parts.
      I think it’s more “I’m already hotter than you could get if I wasn’t too horny, Sal is WAY above your level. No chance.”

      Then again, Billie has seen Amazi-Girl and Sal’s body and heard their voices and thinks they are one and the same. So how can anybody figure out the reasoning.

  18. Bunk

    Obviously, Billie thinks Amazi-Girl is still Sal, and Danny could never be in a relationship with Sal… owait.

    Well at least she realistically thinks that there could never be anything between herself and Danny… owait.

  19. Cthulhu's Intern

    “I will never give you a second chance in any conceivable universe.”

    1. Ourorboros

      I dream of a porno-verse.
      Although it is questionable if Dan could exist in such.

      1. Norj

        He’d be the guy whose so boring in bed his girlfriend cheats on him with her lesbian room-mate.

      2. Roborat

        There is a dating sim that explores that universe. It is . . . weird, I guess is the best description for it.

  20. TaintedSpud

    I brought shovels! Let’s see how deep Danny boy can dig himself…

    1. Keroshino

      I’m betting…straight to china!

      1. Aizat

        Or he could get burned at the mantle.

        1. AckAckAck

          He’s so dense he will shovel through lava unharmed.

  21. Kiggy

    And… karma bites poor Danny in the ass. Twice simultaneously.

    1. KingMabel

      One bite per cheek?

      1. AckAckAck

        Bite the tip? just the tip?

  22. GoogerGeiger

    God damnit Danny.

    1. Lauren

      That summarizes every page that involves Danny

      1. Keroshino

        EVERY…SINGLE…ONE!!! lol

  23. OmegaDez

    Sometimes, I wonder if the worlds of Superman and Sailormoon are filled with Danny-like people who can’t recognize their OWN girlfriend if she takes her silly little mask off…

    1. timemonkey

      Sailor Moon looks different transformed to everyone but the audience. it’s just not mentioned much.

      1. Aizat

        Besides, Domino Masks have this hypnotic ability to make people forget.

        1. AckAckAck

          Oh man the doujinshi implication of that…..

      2. Roborat

        It’s practically a running joke.

    2. Ourorboros

      Superman is in a universe where a pair of glasses is a fool proof disguise.
      I like the way The Tick (Fox’s live action version) spoofed this.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        There was a live action version of THE TICK??

        Why wasn’t I aware of this before?

      2. Vex Godglove

        The movie “Mystery Men” tackled it first, although I agree that “The Tick” did a great job with it too.

  24. Jesse

    The hover-text is great.

    1. Audkitten6

      I’m on my phone. What’s the hover text say?

      1. Aizat

        In my fanfic, Amazi-girl is my waifu.

      2. John

        “in my fanfic, amazi-girl is my waifu”

      3. Keroshino

        In my fanfic, Amazi-girl is my waifu.

      4. Jesse

        Little slow on the draw, Keroshino.

  25. All Else Fails

    Amazi-Girl though?

  26. Really?

    Danny, if you haven’t kissed the girl, haven’t been on a date with her, and you don’t even know her name, she’s not your girlfriend. She’s barely even an acquaintance, you sad, sad little man.

    1. David Willis

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/exhausted/
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/compartmentalize/

      Really?

      1. Thor

        Two out of three ain’t bad.

        1. John

          67% was failing at my school.

        2. Aizat

          Below 40% is failing at mine.

        3. Thor

          Real life isn’t school. If you are, for example, a guy who invests in stocks for a living, and 2 out of 3 of the stocks pick go up in value, you are certifiably incredible (and probably very very rich).

        4. Rutee

          That’s only because stockbrokers are usually horrible at their jobs though. A 59 failed in school, and anything less than an *8* failed me when I worked customer service.

        5. Rutee

          8/10, rather.

        6. Thor

          …and in some incredibly technical professions, a 10% success rate is cause for breaking out the champagne. The point I was implying–and now am baldly spelling out–is that in real life what counts as a “passing” success rate varies wildly across a spectrum because real life comes with millions of different mitigating factors and competing conditions, unlike schoolwork where everything is standardized so that progress and achievement can easily be compared to a baseline.

          Failure ratings in school are not correlatable to anything else post-education, as some in the audience doubtlessly have yet to experience first-hand.

    2. Luzahn

      Her name is Amazi-Girl. I thought this was obvious. =P

      1. David Willis

        Frankly, I consider Danny having done all those things. He’s kissed her, he’s gone out on dates with her, and he knows her name. What a bizarre critique. Danny’s got plenty going on to grumble about without makin’ stuff up.

        1. Varangian

          Things To Grumble About Re: Danny That Are Actually Real

          -He’s criminally imperceptive, especially about relationships
          -He’s demonstrably self-centered
          -He has some sexist ideas about casual sex and responsibility
          -He’s a little bit clingy and vindictive; he also tends to be really overemotional
          -He’s sometimes pretty fucking thoughtless (telling Amber he can’t date her because she looks like Dorothy has been his cardinal sin in my book)
          -He’s a bit caught up in his own little world
          -He seems to be the favorite character of brainless MRA scumbags (this isn’t really his fault, but fuck you, MRAs)

          Things About Danny That Are Not True But People Seem To Think Are
          -He, the DoA Danny, is directly responsible for Ruth’s death in another universe.
          -He is also responsible for all his universal counterpart’s other misdeeds.
          -He is abusive.
          -He is an eternal avatar of failure.
          -He is worse than/as bad as Blaine.
          -He is pathological fantasist/narcissist (seriously guy I forget who you are but I really don’t want to hear that pet theory about this again, ffs)
          -He deserves to be killed.
          -He didn’t have a real relationship with Amazi-Girl.
          -His relationship with Dorothy was never fulfilling at all and she secretly resented/hated him the whole time.
          -He is a fedora-wearing full on MRA guy and also an oppressor himself.
          -No one is allowed to like him.
          -Amber shouldn’t even talk to him, they clearly have nothing in common.
          -He has no good qualities. At all.

        2. Nym

          You are learning, Danny! Apparently not to not reveal the info in the first place, but you’ll get there eventually.

          Also: I like how Danny is coming to realize that the romance and the whimsy of his girlfriend just appearing with no way to contact her is not so great when he actually wants to schedule a date with her himself. There is a part of me that hopes that this will lead to him realizing that he really does want to know her actual identity – and that he tells her this next time he sees her, possibly leading to an honest and fruitful conversation in which they can at least go back to being friends again. /optimism

        3. Nym

          Ope, how did this end up here instead of as a new comment? 🙁

        4. Doxkid

          Who says he doesn’t have a fedora? Every man owns a fedora.

          It’s an important emergency-item for when someone is wrong on the internet, when you accidentally shave your neckbeard so people confuse you for a normal, or for when a girl has self respect and ‘friend zones’ you instead of humping you in public like all the hentai/manga/fanfiction said girls would.

        5. Rutee

          “He is worse than/as bad as Blaine.”
          Someone seriously said that? FFS.

        6. Kernanator

          Yes. I was there.

        7. Kernanator

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/complete/#comment-154740

          Here’s a link to the comment in question.

        8. Rutee

          I believed it before, but seeing it is just…. wtf. Seriously, wtf.

        9. Pat

          “He has some sexist ideas about casual sex and responsibility”
          Joe claimed that. Joe had no evidence to support that claim.
          We, the audience, know things that Joe did not which counter his claim.
          Joe assumed that Danny was interested in casual sex without reason and demanded he come up with another explanation–that would be a sexist idea about casual sex.

        10. Kladeos

          No, we as readers know this too. We can infer from the reason he gave Joe. If he didn’t think “what if she regrets it despite not being drunk/underage/emotionally unstable” wasn’t a reasonable explanation, he wouldn’t have given it.

        11. Pat

          Joe only gave those three options and didn’t let Danny offer other ones.
          We readers know that Billie explicitly told Danny that she was expecting to regret her actions.

          And he decided not to. That wasn’t good enough for Joe, because only women can do that, apparently.

        12. Pat

          I’m not saying he doesn’t have sexist views. He might.
          It’s just not something we really know for sure.

        13. Kladeos

          No, Billie said “Now shut up before I change my mind.” That doesn’t mean she might regret it. That means if he annoys her she’ll stop wanting to bang him.

          It doesn’t matter that Joe only offered three possible legitimate reasons to be concerned for Billie’s ability to consent, because what Danny says is:

          “I just didn’t want to take advantage of her.”

          When Joe calls him out on his sexist idea (“you’re the dude who thinks he knows better than the girl about whether she wants sex”), Danny’s retort is, only confirming Joe’s accusation, “Yeah, but what if she thinks it’s a bad decision later?”

          Basically, Danny is agreeing that he is a sexist arrogant jerk, and more blatantly spouting that sexism in response.

        14. Logician

          No, that isn’t what happened. Billie wanted casual sex. Danny said no, even though he wanted to, because he “didn’t want to take advantage of her”. This is sexist, because it assumes that she, as a woman, is incapable of taking responsibility for her own decisions, and as a man, must decide what is best for her. Joe rightly called him on it.

        15. John

          It’s not entirely clear what Danny’s actual reasons
          for not banging Billie were. The explanation he gave Joe when interrogated afterwards is not the explanation he gave Billie in the moment. It’s pretty plausible that he was making up excuses for Joe because he figured Joe would make fun of his real reasons. Or maybe he was making up excuses for Billie because he didn’t want to offend her. Or maybe he was making up excuses for both of them because he didn’t want to admit that his real reason was just that he was scared. Or maybe his reasons were a combination of both, and he told each of them the truth, but only part of it. (Given how much Danny values his honesty, that may be the most likely scenario.)

          Of course, as Kladeos says, whether it was the real explanation or not, if he didn’t think it was a reasonable one, he wouldn’t have said it.

        16. sps48

          Or he has extremely low self esteem and is sure she will regret sexing him for no good reason.

        17. Pat

          And that’s the conversation where Joe says what I said he says.

          Let’s look at the actual itself, where
          A) Danny is clearly uncomfortable, and understandably so. He also pointed out to Joe (and Joe refused to accept, necessitating Danny trying to “explain”) that he wasn’t interested in casual sex with strangers in the strip           the one you linked.
          B) Billie outright told him that she expected to change her mind, and very shortly. Which meant that his explanation was actually true even if it wasn’t the only reason behind his decision.

        18. Pat

          …Apparently I don’t know how to use links here.

        19. Kladeos

          Billie didn’t say she expected to change her mind! “Shut up before I change my mind” is a pretty common phrase meaning the person you’re talking to is being annoying. It literally means, shut up so I’m not annoyed at you so we can bang.

        20. Megatron

          There’s also an assumption in saying “shut up before i change my mind.” That assumption is that he doesn’t want her to change her mind. I think that assumption is erroneous. I’ve notice that not all male fleshlings want sex all the time. This seems to confuse the fleshlings who are certain that this is true.

          I personally have a policy never to have sex with someone who says “shut up before i change my mind” before doing it.

        21. Kladeos

          Except Dan told Joe that he did want to do it.

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/casualbang/

        22. Pat

          He also said “I’m not dead!” which would imply that wanting to there refers to physical desire.
          In the comic before your link, he told Joe that he was not going to have casual sex with a stranger. Joe refused to accept this answer–likely due to sexist assumptions about casual sex (A girl wants to have sex and a guy refuses? Impossible!). Everything after that is his poor attempts to come up with an answer that Joe would accept instead of the more reasonable response of calling him a moron.

          It’s not wrong, though. Even though his answers to Joe’s three blunt yes or no questions were all “No,” it was still pretty obvious that Billie was likely to regret her actions.
          Actions in which he did not wish to participate in the first place, which was the first truth that Joe didn’t accept.

        23. Rutee

          Come on, really? Danny admitted he was projecting his views onto her. I don’t have high standards here.

        24. Rowen Morland

          Were his views on casual sex sexist?

          (also, what is MRA?)

        25. Kladeos

          Yes. He thought he knew better than Billie what’s good for her.

          MRA is Men’s Rights Activists. Not people who actually care about the wellbeing of men, but people who put down and derail the feminism movement by trying to make everything about the men, ie, reinforcing the patriarchy.

        26. agentksilver

          “You know me. I’m not going to have sex with any old stranger who throws herself at me. I have my principles.”

          Exact words.

        27. itsnoteasybeinggreen

          is that a bad thing?
          Danny only had sex with one other person before Billie came in and jumped on him.
          And hey- talk about sexism. if Danny was a girl and Billie was a guy who came in, stripped, and wanted to have sex, no one would consider Danny the villain. So since Danny is a guy, its ok for Billie to have sex with him when he is clearly uncomfortable?
          And his answers/excuses to Joe were more defensive then real.

        28. Kladeos

          If a girl said, “maybe he’d regret it?” it’d still be crappy, but you’re ignoring a huge history of men deciding for women what is and isn’t okay for their sexuality. All this “if you flipped the genders/races/whatever” talk is ignoring the cultural context we’re in.

        29. David Willis

          “if you flipped the genders” is my least favorite thing, it’s only used for evil and not good

        30. Kladeos

          If you flipped his gender, Mike would be pretty hot.

        31. Roborat

          If you flip his gender, you have the main plot line of 83 % of Mangas and Anime.

        32. Pat

          That’s… not remotely sexist.
          Heck, it’s not even a view on casual sex; it’s his own behavior regarding casual sex. That’s not the same thing.

        33. What was the question again?

          Yeah well you can’t kill my headcanon with FACTS Warlock Willis! We all know that when danny talks about his “girlfriend” he’s really talking about Loli-chan, his previously unmentioned creepy lovepillow that joe keeps trying to (quite rightly) burn.

          Any minute now he’ll drop the “flat is justice, amazigirl is justice, ergo Amazigirl is my perfect 2D lovepillow waifu, QED.” syllijism.

    3. Ourorboros

      I’m assuming the link to Danny and Amazi-Girl making out at the side of the road has been show.
      The only reason they didn’t have sex was superheroine tights related.

  27. AckAckAck

    It will be interesting if Danny thought that Billie is Amazi-Girl. Then it will turn into one big circus.

  28. Aizat

    Thank you.

  29. Someone

    What is the hover text today? I’m not on my computer.

    1. Aizat

      See my reply to Audkitten6

      1. Someone

        Thanks!

        1. Aizat

          You’re welcome.

      2. Roborat

        That’s a strangely specific hover text.

  30. Varangian

    Man I wonder what people think Danny’s going to do here this seems like a–wait, that’s stupid, all the comments are going to talk about is how Danny is the root of all treachery and how much they wish he would die, it’s a bigger meme than Spider-Car

    1. Valdrax

      …than femurs nickle faaaaace?

      (Actually, that sounds like some kind of old-timey Dick Tracy villain.)

      1. Wack'd

        …I need fanart of Femurs Nickleface yesterday

        1. Glynvel

          I’m thinking drug kingpin, looks like Thomas Jefferson, and his cane is made out of human femurs.

        2. Valdrax

          I am stealing this and using it next time I run/play in game set in the 1920s.

        3. Aizat

          Yeah, anyone seen Yotomoe?

      2. Varangian

        Than femurs, nickel, face, anything to do with a hypothetical car superhero what shall not speak its name, Amazi-Girl being Sal or what the fuck ever, it’s bigger than all of those.

        Really if Willis wanted to do an arc that was blatantly pandering to his fan base, all he’d have to do is lots of strips full of various fan ships making out and getting naked counterposed with a series of fourth panels in which Danny is tortured to death like an extra in Hostel. Everyone would laugh about it and agree that while it was unpleasant, Danny had it coming to him.

  31. Shaggy-Donahugh

    Maybe…he tries to convince Billy that he is dating amazigirl, get her back on the case, find out who she is. Then GASP! The whole thing’s resolved and everyone quits hating danny so much.

    1. Varangian

      Dude have you even read the comic?? It’s far more likely that he’ll find out who Amber is and lecture her on being a fake geek girl while forcing her into his fantasy role and abusing her for being too much like Dorothy, then join a white supremacist group or Westboro Baptist.

      I mean, it’s all there in his background, though the WBC thing is more from the Walkyverse.

      1. Rutee

        Wait what? Willis usually has his characters exert basic human decency to each other (Except Mike and Blaine), so I don’t think Danny’s going to lecture anyone on fake geek girls. I mean, other stupid nonsense, maybe (I haven’t read most of the Walkyverse, so if you’re kidding about the WBC part, now’s a good time to say), but that one seems unlikely.

        1. Rutee

          Oh right, and Faz. …and Dina. And Malaya…. and joyce’s parents… and David’s… okay maybe the ‘basic human decency’ thing isn’t so ironclad…

        2. Kladeos

          There’s nothing wrong with Malaya. She’s a pretty believable person and what she’s not deliberately being short with people she’s okay.

          Also Dina??? She definitely exhibits basic human decency.

        3. Baker

          Guessing “Dina” is just really bad spelling for “Mary”.

        4. Rutee

          Eh, she seems like she’d have trouble with the basics of properly showing empathy to really fall into that category. I don’t think she’s hateful, though, to be clear. And ‘believable’ has nothing to do with it.

        5. Henry

          If we’re not limiting purely to the Dumbiverse, then even Faz, Linda, and Joyce’s parents have shown some basic humanity, too. Same for Malaya. And you can probably make a case for Mike even in this universe, even if he’s got a weird way of showing it.

          Really, Blaine is the only one who hasn’t. He’s like a singularity of douchenozzle across ‘Verses.

        6. Henry

          …peripheral characters aside (“Buckets of Blood” Guy, “In My Fanfic” Guy, most of the more persistently-obnoxious customers in Shortpacked), that is.

        7. Rutee

          …having not read anything but SP!, I assume you’re also adding in Head Alien? Because he was kind of nothing but a titanic dick in SP.

        8. Rowen Morland

          He was a titanic dick in every appearance ever.

          (hehehe, titanic dick)

      2. taekwondogirl

        If Danny was the one to give a lecture about fake geek girls, he would have already done it the countless times he and Amber have had a geeky interaction. Stop freakin’ projecting.

        1. Varangian

          …I would like to make it belatedly clear that that entire thing should’ve been in enormous sarcasm quotes. I don’t think Danny would do any of that, though there seems to be a contingent of readers who think it’s not unlikely.

        2. Rowen Morland

          You had me up to the white supremicist bit. My guess is that most people who responded couldn’t stand to read your full post after reading so much Danny hate.

  32. chris73

    Well I’m a bit of a romantic but I hope it works out for Danny, his only real crime is being a bit oblivious and maybe trying a little too hard (but who here can say they’ve never done that)

  33. newllend

    Holy crap is this really happening, was David listening to the comment I left 2 days ago, if so thank you

    1. Varangian

      While the Willis may read the comments, recall that he has made all these strips months in advance. The future is already going to happen.

      1. saltchocolate

        Willis definitely reads the comments. In fact, a few days ago, to my surprise, he said he reads basically ALL the comments! But, Varanglan is still right. The future is set in digitized stone for . . . :::scrolls up and checks::: . . . the next three months (and rolling forward).

        1. Ophannin

          I think the implication is that Willis is omniscient when it comes to fan comments.

        2. saltchocolate

          And this is true.

  34. Nono

    The first time I read the alt-text, I read it as ‘in my waifu, amazi-girl is my fanfic.’

    Which kinda works too.

  35. Alexis

    NO Amazi-Girl is MY waifu

    I will FIGHT you

    I bet you have more than ONE waifu, don’t you. That’s DISGUSTING. That’s IMPURE.

  36. Sir Robin

    Danny is going to make things even worse isn’t he?

    1. Jack Finch

      Oh yeah. Danny, Amber/Amazi-girl, Billie, are all going to make things worse (for now). That’s a given. All but a few of the parents are going to make things worse. The misanthropes like Sarah and Mary might, but they might be so offputting that they can’t get involved enough to do real damage.

      Oh there’s going to be a festival of making it worse…that stock will always be a buy in a Willis universe.

  37. hof1991

    He is going all Lois Lane here. He wants to know AG’s secret identity and will recruit Billie to help him. This s a positive development for both of them.

    He needs to find the actual girl behind AG, so he can have a less weird relationship.

    Amber needs to decide whether she wants a non-masked relationship or if she is going to stay a masked alien among the cast. If the last, she is a Batman without money, Alfred or even Robin. Yes, Batman jokes follow, but its no way for a lonely 18 year old to live.

    Even Superman with Lois Lane turns into the Plutonian because living all alone with friends isn’t protect from being hurt, it will make you even more psycho. Amber NEEDS Danny, but does she need him more than she needs to be AG?

    1. hof1991

      Edit Superman without a Lois Lane turns into the Plutonian and then is an unstoppable killing machine. Amber without someone to talk to isn’t going anyplace pleasant.

    2. Jack Finch

      That last bit about Amber….frighteningly true.

    3. Henry

      What if Robin quits Congress to be Amber’s side-kick? Then she would be a Batman with a Robin, if without all that other stuff! /badjoke

    4. Logician

      I think Amber made it fairly clear when she and Danny first met that she wanted a non-masked relationship with him. He said no (because she was too much like Dorothy) and anyway, he’d rather date Amazigirl. He also said he didn’t want to know her real identity.

      My reading of this has always been that Amber was settling for a masked relationship as second-best. After parents weekend, she realised that second-best wasn’t good enough, so she’s been avoiding him in both guises.

      1. taekwondogirl

        He said he would like to know her identity once she was ready to tell him. That’s way different.

  38. Pat Myers

    You have terrible journalistic instincts, Billie.

    1. Kernanator

      Let us never forget that Billie somehow thinks that Sal and Amazi Girl are the same person, despite them having completely different body types.

      1. Mr K

        and skin color. Seriously, she needs new glasses. Does alcohol permanantly affect your vision?

      2. Blue Dragon

        Walky told her that his sister was, basically, batman. This planted the seed of an idea. Sal used to enter her room via the window. Amazi-Girl used the same window to sneak in and find out the truth about Danny and Billie’s interaction. Billie caught Amazi-Girl in her room and assumed this was proof that her roommate was, in fact, Amazi-Girl.

        1. Bill

          When Walky said that his sister was “basically Batman”,he was talking to Joyce and Mike was in the background.  Billie was nowhere in the scene, so how did this information get back to her?

        2. John

          Billie wasn’t in-panel there, but she was in the class they were leaving, and could easily have been in earshot.

  39. Baker

    I wonder what Danny is up to here. Is he trying to get a message to her through the newspaper? I’m not sure how often Amber even reads the newspaper, seems like that would take away from comics and spider killing time.

  40. Henry

    …this is such a weird fandom. I’m not sure why Danny’s getting hated on as much as he is. He’s hardly the first character in this, or any other comic to act like an idiot. Certainly not enough to justify the level of hate he’s been getting in the comments for as long as he has been.

    1. Rani

      I am a taste-maker, and I say it is perfectly okay for this fandom to hate Danny. For he is an ethically retarded small minded douche, a charisma black hole that reminds the best of us, of the most middling in us. Worst than all of that, however, is that he’s a real boring fuck.

      May his sorrows shine light upon ubiquitous darkness.

      1. TPman

        Actually his ethics are pretty sound. Can’t argue the point on charisma though.

        1. Rani

          Besides him deciding not to cheat on a psychically deranged alter ego because said alter ego would stop 3DSing with him, I can’t think of one time he’s ever sincerely thought selflessly.

          He isn’t…unethical. He’s pretty average if we’re talking at the level of, like, me. But he’s demonstrably worse than most people on the strip.

        2. Rani

          Except, you know, for the actual psychopaths.

    2. taekwondogirl

      It’s pretty obnoxious, isn’t it?

  41. Lel

    Danny pls.

  42. man in black

    Great page

  43. Rani

    All Danny-hatred aside, I’m sure the neutral little shit is relatively harmless. That being said, I feel like the guy has so much heel-heat on him that even if he was a hundred degrees removed from a bad thing that happens, we’d still blame him for disturbing the butterfly or taking the nail that set it in motion. I say “we”, because I’d join em.

    Which is a long winded way of saying that if Danny blows the lid off Amazi-girl’s disguise and damages Amber because of it, I don’t think there’s anyway back for the little fucker…

    …short, of course, of him donning an animal themed costume and taking the head of the date rapist from god knows when.

    1. taekwondogirl

      As you said, he doesn’t need to do anything to make people hate him, and it’s so entrenched that it’s pretty impossible for him to do anything to make people LIKE him.

      1. David Willis

        challenge accepted

        1. chris73

          Excellant

        2. Bill

          Because of the buffer we still won’t see any changes until well past Valentine’s Day….. but according to a comment from Kladeos yesterday Willis has alluded that he is going to break our hearts sometime in February.  Maybe that’s how he’s going to do it — make Danny likeable.

          But how and with whom?

        3. Rani

          The one thing Danny has over everyone else on the strip is sanity and freedom. We give him shit but in theory Danny can do things, take blows, and make decisions other characters can’t or won’t. He can be someone’s consigliere, someone’s therapist, or someone’s punching bag. (Guess what he’s been so far) Our hatred stems from our knowledge of all this wasted potential.

          Danny becomes Amazi-boy Beyond. Yeah that’s all I got.

        4. Brando

          You’ve got people who like him already Willis! We’re with you!

  44. Psycoticfart

    ;ladskfjas
    i dunno

  45. ZORK

    Oh geez, the alt-text instantly reminded me of Omnios. You know what that mean?

    Omnios creeps into the Dumbiverse through the alt-text.

    Brace yourselves.

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