Dumbing of Age Book Fourteen

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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October 20, 2026

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it's always sex o'clock somewhere
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‹‹ First ‹ Prev Comments(242) Random Next › Last ››

Sex o’clock

Posted In: comic
└ Tags: amazi-girl, joe, joyce

Discussion (242) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. JA
    JA
    May 8, 2025 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Does Amazi-Girl have a Virgin Alarm or something?

    • chrisashtear
      chrisashtear
      May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

      Its programmed to go off before Joyce does

      • Allandrel
        Allandrel
        May 8, 2025 at 7:09 am | # | Reply

        I understood that reference!

        • Decidedly Orthogonal
          Decidedly Orthogonal
          May 8, 2025 at 10:00 am | # | Reply

          And I understood them and yours little one too!

  2. Animedingo
    Animedingo
    May 8, 2025 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Why is midnight sex o clock?

    • OBBWG
      OBBWG
      May 8, 2025 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

      It’s always sex o’clock somewhere.

      • Eyebrow
        Eyebrow
        May 8, 2025 at 6:50 pm | # | Reply

        In Sweden, at 5:30 the time in Swedish is “halv sex”, pronounced “have sex”. Or close enough.

        It’s always halv sex somewhere.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

      Midnight is the witching hour, and traditionally Witches are sexually libertine.

      • Animedingo
        Animedingo
        May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

        I kinda doubt thats what joyce was going for

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      Because it’s when the hands on the clock are the most erect.

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        May 8, 2025 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

        Damn, that is way better than my answer.

      • Aquila
        Aquila
        May 8, 2025 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

        That’s also why people have nooners.

      • Straximus
        Straximus
        May 8, 2025 at 2:16 am | # | Reply

        Oh that’s good.

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      May 8, 2025 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      I assume because, if you are college student with no classes first thing in the morning it is about bedtime. That way they can go right from sleeping together to sleeping together.

    • Nono
      Nono
      May 8, 2025 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      The carriage turned back into a pumpkin.

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        May 8, 2025 at 5:23 pm | # | Reply

        That’s a gazebo.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 8, 2025 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

      Maybe because since it is no longer the same day it doesn’t count as sleeping with someone on the first date?

      (Which wouldn’t apply here anyway.)

    • Wereg
      Wereg
      May 8, 2025 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

      Yesterday someone said that Joyce doesn’t “want her Non-Sex and her Sex touching each other on the calendar” and I choose to take that as canon.

    • Icalasari
      Icalasari
      May 8, 2025 at 1:15 am | # | Reply

      Because it’s the opposite side of six o’clock

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 8, 2025 at 1:49 am | # | Reply

      It’s when you’re most hidden from the Sun.

    • RoyanRannedos
      RoyanRannedos
      May 8, 2025 at 1:03 pm | # | Reply

      In the high-demand religious tradition I grew up in, adults told youth that the Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight. That and the one about back rubs in the front room leading to front rubs in the back room.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 8, 2025 at 1:28 pm | # | Reply

      might have something to do with a campus legend too. https://f351jmcd.sitehost.iu.edu/2023/04/27/the-gazebo/

  3. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    May 8, 2025 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Hello AG.

    • clif
      clif
      May 8, 2025 at 1:55 am | # | Reply

      Not the threesom we were expecting

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        May 8, 2025 at 3:18 am | # | Reply

        What are you doing, step-sister’s alter ego?

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 8, 2025 at 3:21 am | # | Reply

        You work with the threesome you get, which is not always the threesome you want.

        • Arianod
          Arianod
          May 8, 2025 at 3:30 am | # | Reply

          But is it the threesome you deserve?

    • Wizard
      Wizard
      May 8, 2025 at 11:14 am | # | Reply

      Just here to save them from the wild gazebo.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 8, 2025 at 11:40 am | # | Reply

        The gazebo does not respond.

        • Giffem
          Giffem
          May 8, 2025 at 1:47 pm | # | Reply

          can i shoot it with my crossbow?

  4. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    May 8, 2025 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Dumbing of Age Book 15: I Touched a Butt and God Sent an Angry Angel!

    alternate title: guess hell’s real after all

  5. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    May 8, 2025 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Dorothy didn’t have enough ass. It all makes sense now.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      May 8, 2025 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/blbfghlpf/ Becky would definitely agree.

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        May 8, 2025 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

        Wow, your memory is beyond amazing.

        • Doopyboop
          Doopyboop
          May 8, 2025 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

          The power of ADHD! Helps me remember events in my favorite webcomics as well as the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell. Does not help me remember what I need to buy from the grocery store unless I have a list.

          • Marianne
            Marianne
            May 8, 2025 at 12:42 am | # | Reply

            I’m pretty sure you meant midichlorian. The midichlorian is the powerhouse of the cell.

            • Doopyboop
              Doopyboop
              May 8, 2025 at 12:45 am | # | Reply

              Aren’t midichlorians the things in Star Wars that give people the ability to use the force? Unless that’s the joke you’re making in which case IGNORE MEEEE

              • Masumi
                Masumi
                May 8, 2025 at 6:30 am | # | Reply

                Yeah, those are the force house of the cell. Totally different.

              • Steamweed
                Steamweed
                May 8, 2025 at 8:01 am | # | Reply

                That was totally the joke. 😀

            • Regret
              Regret
              May 8, 2025 at 1:14 am | # | Reply

              I’m pretty sure you mean MIDI file. The MIDI file is the powerhouse of the cell.

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                May 8, 2025 at 1:20 am | # | Reply

                MIDI isn’t really very good for power house, unfortunately.

                • Opus the Poet
                  Opus the Poet
                  May 8, 2025 at 3:07 am | #

                  MP3 is much better:
                  https://youtu.be/HnzLconK4Tw?si=5eNG24iWgMhMJWD1

                • Pizzasgood
                  Pizzasgood
                  May 8, 2025 at 12:08 pm | #

                  I hear your Powerhouse and raise you Engine Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV34KqCKE3A

                • NGPZ
                  NGPZ
                  May 8, 2025 at 4:12 pm | #

                  except unlike MP3, MIDI format is instructions for playing sounds, not necessarily the sounds themselves :p

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  May 8, 2025 at 8:31 pm | #

                  Precisely. It captures performance and not instrument. And is superior for that, both in terms of compression of information and in translating a performance to other instruments. Again you can go from a midi file to a score much easier than from a mp3 file to a score. MP3 contains mere sound while Midi captures the music.

        • Risky
          Risky
          May 8, 2025 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

          Butts disease coupled with adhd. Powerful.

        • Arianod
          Arianod
          May 8, 2025 at 3:35 am | # | Reply

          I don’t know whether it’s good memoria or ADHD, but I’ve never stopped regerring to Dorothy as Boney Poindexter in my head XD

      • JA
        JA
        May 8, 2025 at 12:55 am | # | Reply

        This was TEN REAL LIFE YEARS AGO?

      • Jeff K!
        Jeff K!
        May 8, 2025 at 9:22 am | # | Reply

        Reading forward from that link brought me to https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/exclusivity/

        And, uh, hoo boy, panels two and five seem really relevant to recent events…

        • Daibhid C
          Daibhid C
          May 8, 2025 at 2:38 pm | # | Reply

          Do you mean two and four? I’m not sure five is relevant unless we’re about to get a very surprising revelation about Joe…

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            May 8, 2025 at 5:22 pm | # | Reply

            If Willis answers prayers…

          • Jeff K!
            Jeff K!
            May 9, 2025 at 4:53 am | # | Reply

            Yes, I meant four.

  6. Taffy
    Taffy
    May 8, 2025 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    I’ve decided Joyce isn’t attracted to Joe. There’s literally no evidence, I’ve just decided it’s canon now, and that’s not divisive to say.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      Not only is she not attracted, but she actively hates him. And his tight, round ass. There was no previous strip of them on a lovely date.

      • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        May 8, 2025 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

        In fact there was never any previous strips at all, this is the first last and only strip. Who the hell are these characters?

        • Doopyboop
          Doopyboop
          May 8, 2025 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

          The webcomic isn’t dumbingofage it is just Of. Of what? Hell if I know.

        • AbacusWizard
          AbacusWizard
          May 8, 2025 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

          Little-known Fact #6875: There has never been a comic called “Dumbing of Age”.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 8, 2025 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

        It didn’t happen. It’s fan art. It’s illegal pornography. It’s a cereal box.

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 8, 2025 at 1:08 am | # | Reply

          unstable AU

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 8, 2025 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

      Nods of agreement from the 10% of people who voted that Joyce was 6 on the Kinsey scale.

    • AnonGrouch
      AnonGrouch
      May 8, 2025 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

      Well I don’t know. She could just be removing her social programming from the church. It’s currently in processing ‘I’m allowed to do this’ time. Clearly this warrants a further investigation to get to the bottom of these ham handed reactions she seems to be having. We don’t want to bun-t this down the road any further than it has been.

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        May 8, 2025 at 2:44 pm | # | Reply

        Right, because that would be a real bummer. I’m sure someone has an arsenal of arguments to the contrary, but will they have the bare cheek to use them?

    • AnonGrouch
      AnonGrouch
      May 8, 2025 at 12:25 am | # | Reply

      Dont be ass in nine Taffy. Be ass in ten out of ten…. I was going to say ‘like Joe’ but then I remembered at least half the cast allegedly has a nice ass.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        May 8, 2025 at 3:24 am | # | Reply

        Don’t half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

    • PedanticJerkass
      PedanticJerkass
      May 8, 2025 at 4:45 am | # | Reply

      What.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        May 8, 2025 at 7:33 am | # | Reply

        Taffy has chosen to reject your reality and substitute their own

        • clif
          clif
          May 8, 2025 at 9:16 am | # | Reply

          As do we all to some degree. Taffy just does it with more panache.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 8, 2025 at 10:21 am | # | Reply

        Yeah, so the basic idea here is that in the displayed comic, Joyce is attracted to Joe, to the point she’s grabbing his ass and talking about having sex with him, but there’s a little twist I’ve introduced. Now, a few people have picked up on that twist already, but it’s a little bit abstract so I’ll go ahead and explain it for ya. My decision (or claim, if you prefer) is that Joyce (the same one from the strip) is not attracted to Joe (also from the strip), and despite the displayed evidence, I’ve decided there is instead no evidence. Further, I’ve taken the liberty of calling my decision canon (or “officially part of the story”, if you prefer) and then on top of that (and if you’re keeping up so far, you’re gonna love this part), I’ve made the claim that my decision is not divisive. I know, yowzers! What a thing to say, and the audacity to call it a decision while making unilateral proclamations of canonicity! How do they do it, folks? Well, here’s the cherry on top, my good [gender]: I do it facetiously, playing on the time-honored tradition of making an oppositional, absurd claim, without even believing it myself! I know, I know, it’s pretty slick. And now that I’ve explained the bit (an industry term, you understand), the wool is pulled away and you can see it with your own eyes, plain as day. Come back anytime for more of these incredible feats of prestidigitation!

        • furubatsu
          furubatsu
          May 8, 2025 at 12:24 pm | # | Reply

          And here I thought we were just still clowning on Megan from yesterdays comment section.

          • perpetual sea
            perpetual sea
            May 8, 2025 at 5:02 pm | # | Reply

            I’d hope not! That’d be genuinely shitty!

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            May 8, 2025 at 6:35 pm | # | Reply

            What the fuck would be the point of that? What a waste of my limited time on this planet.

        • jonathan young
          jonathan young
          May 8, 2025 at 3:32 pm | # | Reply

          not a hot take at all. a perfectly reasonable take. what is your opinion on global warming?

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            May 8, 2025 at 7:02 pm | # | Reply

            Fuck it, I blame Sweden.

        • Nymph
          Nymph
          May 8, 2025 at 5:18 pm | # | Reply

          Please tip your wait-staff, we do not pay them a living wage. Also remember to pick up your paper cups and throw them at the second act once Taffy is safely off-stage.

          • Clif
            Clif
            May 8, 2025 at 8:35 pm | # | Reply

            I dunno. Blaming Sweden has potential.

    • Erica
      Erica
      May 8, 2025 at 1:55 pm | # | Reply

      Yup. Look at this compulsory heterosexuality. There’s definitely no actual attraction here. No girls actually like boys

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        May 8, 2025 at 5:19 pm | # | Reply

        Exactly! I’m not sure why Taffy is out here announcing obvious facts that everyone agrees on, but I guess the comments section is for all sorts.

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      May 8, 2025 at 11:02 pm | # | Reply

      There is absolutely evidence. Joyce has said explicitly that she does not like boys ever. This whole thing is just forced and out of character.

    • Li
      Li
      May 9, 2025 at 2:25 pm | # | Reply

      I mean, Hot Take and all, but it IS actually okay for lesbians reading stories about bi girls to find them relatable to their own experiences as a lesbian and thus headcanon that bi girl as a lesbian.

      It’s okay for trans men reading stories about cis lesbians to find them relatable to their own experiences as a trans man and thus headcanon that cis lesbian girl as a trans man.

      Where it gets a little dicey is when folks start making these things statements of definitive fact, yelling at people who disagree with them (up to and including the relevant creator), etc.

      But yeah, like. “Fellas is it bi erasure to find a bi character relatable to one’s own lesbian/gay experiences…” No.

      (Taffy didn’t say any of this, and I enjoyed the joke, but this is something I wanted to say yesterday and this thread gave me another jumping off point for it.)

      (Also I’m bi too, and I’ve been Kinda Prickly myself and feeling like folks who call Ruth and/or Jennifer a lesbian are somehow taking something away from me……. it’s a bit of a crab-bucket mentality and something I think we all fall into from time to time due to Society being the way it is and representation being thin on the ground.)

  7. IntangibleMatter
    IntangibleMatter
    May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Amazi-Girl is showing up to make sure they have some Amazi-condoms

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      May 8, 2025 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

      This. Bingo.

    • Adept
      Adept
      May 8, 2025 at 7:00 am | # | Reply

      I’m a little worried Amazi-girl is here to get Joyce, because Dorothy has spun out even harder and done something. I hope not.

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        May 8, 2025 at 5:14 pm | # | Reply

        I would be shocked if that’s the case.

        • Nymph
          Nymph
          May 8, 2025 at 5:16 pm | # | Reply

          The Amazi-girl coming to get Joyce thing, not the Dorothy spinning out thing. I am very certain she’s crashing out hard.

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      May 8, 2025 at 8:04 am | # | Reply

      Possibly also to chivy them inside, for sex that is both safer and legal. As opposed to outside, in the freezing cold, at night, and trespassing.

      Alternately, to upbraid Joyce on her shoddy treatment of poor Dorothy.

      • Adept
        Adept
        May 8, 2025 at 3:19 pm | # | Reply

        I hope it’s the ”safe and legal” thing, that would be in character and also sweet.

  8. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Did you learn nothing from Finding Nemo, Joyce? Never touch the butt.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      May 8, 2025 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      yeah, best to let those scuba divers Pass Over you XD

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      May 8, 2025 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

      Tina Belcher does not endorse this message.

  9. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    I wonder what brings Amazi-Girl around.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      Butts, maybe

      • Steamweed
        Steamweed
        May 8, 2025 at 11:37 am | # | Reply

        I think Amber has the Butts Disease. (so sad) Amazi-Girl doesn’t have the disease; she is the cure.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      Joe’s milkshake?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        May 8, 2025 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

        No wait, they’re stepsiblings. Gah!

        • John Campbell
          John Campbell
          May 8, 2025 at 2:08 am | # | Reply

          Are they? Are they really?

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            May 8, 2025 at 3:17 am | # | Reply

            Joe’s father whose name escapes me beyond “Mr. Rosenthal” married Amy, Amber’s mother. That makes them stepsiblings. Or stompsiblings if you will.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              May 8, 2025 at 3:23 am | # | Reply

              Their names are Richard and Stacy, respectively.

              • DailyBrad
                DailyBrad
                May 8, 2025 at 5:16 pm | # | Reply

                Yup, and honestly not an un-cute couple in their way.

                Richard’s a bit of a sleaze, but he does seem like he really feels for the shit Stacy’s been through and wants to do right by her. Let’s hope it lasts.

            • Steamweed
              Steamweed
              May 8, 2025 at 8:06 am | # | Reply

              Are they actually married by now? I thought they were planning but it wasn’t done yet.

              • Mr.Morningstar
                Mr.Morningstar
                May 8, 2025 at 10:27 am | # | Reply

                Even if they weren’t yet it easier to step sibling than “my dad’s, fiancé’s daughter.”

              • HueSatLight
                HueSatLight
                May 8, 2025 at 7:12 pm | # | Reply

                yes https://www.dumbingofage.com/guarantees/

                • Steamweed
                  Steamweed
                  May 8, 2025 at 8:28 pm | #

                  Excellent! I had forgotten. I need to re-re-read the whole dang thing. (brb gotta spend 3 days)

            • John Campbell
              John Campbell
              May 8, 2025 at 11:55 am | # | Reply

              Joe and Amber are (or will be) stepsiblings, but are Joe and Amazi-Girl? I’m not sure.

              (In any case, given that they knew each other, as adults, before their parents even met, I’m not really sure why it should be a problem, other than the potential awkwardness at family gatherings.)

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      May 8, 2025 at 12:30 am | # | Reply

      She’s keeping an eye on the gazebo in case it tries to attack anybody.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 8, 2025 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

        Nah, she is watching out for one of those slasher movie killers who attacks you for having sex.

      • Effie
        Effie
        May 8, 2025 at 7:17 am | # | Reply

        Gazebos have angry angles.

        • Clif
          Clif
          May 8, 2025 at 8:39 pm | # | Reply

          That’s what makes it a Dire Gazebo.

      • Steamweed
        Steamweed
        May 8, 2025 at 8:06 am | # | Reply

        Best answer. She knows those things are dangerous!

    • Zaxares
      Zaxares
      May 8, 2025 at 4:15 am | # | Reply

      She’s probably here to warn J+J that bumping uglies out in the snow is a great way to catch hypothermia and potentially land both of them in hospital, so get back to your rooms before engaging in pre-marital hanky-panky. 😉

  10. StClair
    StClair
    May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Joyce is… still very much a work in progress.

    (Also I wonder how much of this is autobiographical.)

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      May 8, 2025 at 8:07 am | # | Reply

      Childhood trauma stays with you for quite a while. Difficult stuff to resolve.

  11. Elf grrl
    Elf grrl
    May 8, 2025 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Damn I felt that snap back into old christian habits on Joyce. Those last couple panels gave me some ptsd

  12. Dara
    Dara
    May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Amazi-Girl, angry angel, not necessarily so different

  13. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    May 8, 2025 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    force of habit XD

  14. Suet
    Suet
    May 8, 2025 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Must be her lookout point. Which is fair, but do we really need the sloped edges

    what else is considered as “the girlfriend toll”

    • Envy
      Envy
      May 8, 2025 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

      Having to share any order of fries you get, even if she says she doesn’t want any

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 8, 2025 at 1:19 am | # | Reply

        Reminds me of a picture I saw long ago in the dark ages, of a menu with an add-on called “She’s Not Hungry”, equivalent to a size upgrade on your fries.

        • deliverything
          deliverything
          May 8, 2025 at 3:21 am | # | Reply

          I wonder how much of this is related to being trained into suppressing hunger due to society insisting women both remain thin and devalue their own needs (and so claiming not to want fast food), and then that training being overridden by the basic animal instinct to eat when encountering food while hungry.

          Maybe I’m just reading too much into things, though.

          • eh, whatever
            eh, whatever
            May 8, 2025 at 4:18 am | # | Reply

            No, I bet that’s it.

          • Adept
            Adept
            May 8, 2025 at 7:16 am | # | Reply

            I also think there’s a sound psychological, even evolutionary aspect to it. A prospective mate or romantic partner who is upset about you eating some of their fries is very selfish and not inclined to share. It’s a good, subtle test of their character.

            I don’t mean that the test would be pre-meditated as such, but it’s one of those small interactions that can reveal a lot about the other person.

            • Big Z
              Big Z
              May 8, 2025 at 8:07 am | # | Reply

              IMHO, there’s a two-way street to that test, too, in that I’ve dated people who’d insist they weren’t hungry and then ate half my fries. Sure, fine. Next date, I say, “Should I get extra fries?” and if they do the “no, I’m not hungry at all” again and then persist in eating half of my medium fries, well, that’s ALSO a good subtle test of character.

              (My partner’s been letting me order “Combo X and another medium fry, too” for over two decades)

              • Adept
                Adept
                May 8, 2025 at 3:16 pm | # | Reply

                Yup, nothing wrong with that Big Z

                Communication and all that

          • Steamweed
            Steamweed
            May 8, 2025 at 8:09 am | # | Reply

            Former lady friend o’ mine said the sexiest thing she ever saw was her guy (me) cooking for her. Her parents’ culture was pretty patriarchal, and made the women do all the cooking.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              May 8, 2025 at 10:44 am | # | Reply

              Cooking is sexy. Anyone who makes it un-sexy should be executed in the street.

              • Steamweed
                Steamweed
                May 8, 2025 at 11:48 am | # | Reply

                That’s lotsa executions. Gonna be a right mess. Who’s gonna clean all that up?

                • Taffy
                  Taffy
                  May 8, 2025 at 12:04 pm | #

                  Not I, said the queer.

                • Nymph
                  Nymph
                  May 8, 2025 at 5:12 pm | #

                  Whoever doesn’t cook is the one who cleans, so it’s kind of a problem actually.

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            May 8, 2025 at 5:12 pm | # | Reply

            This is absolutely it

    • Fuzzy
      Fuzzy
      May 8, 2025 at 1:08 am | # | Reply

      There’s the hoodie tax, of course.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      May 8, 2025 at 7:29 am | # | Reply

      Her dessert is about three spoonfuls’ from the middle of my dessert.

  15. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    May 8, 2025 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    hey what the f

  16. Nono
    Nono
    May 8, 2025 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    If you skip leg days, you won’t get freezing hands on your butt.

  17. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    May 8, 2025 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    I’m going to choose to believe this is a coincidence and that Amazi-girl doesn’t creepily stalk all her friends who stay out past 10pm.

    • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
      MeghanTheDreamCrusher
      May 8, 2025 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

      I mean…you’re talking about the same girl that tracks people’s phones

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        May 8, 2025 at 5:11 pm | # | Reply

        Name accurate.

  18. BBCC
    BBCC
    May 8, 2025 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Not sure who is getting the worse end here, Joyce being scared to death by AG or AG having to hear this about her step-brother. XD

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 8, 2025 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

      That someone touched his butt with cold hands? I suspect the word date makes Amber assume much more than that.

      • Ray Radlein
        Ray Radlein
        May 8, 2025 at 1:13 am | # | Reply

        Did Roz drop the sex tape before they were stepsiblings?

        • clif
          clif
          May 8, 2025 at 1:59 am | # | Reply

          Yes. Why?

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            May 8, 2025 at 5:10 pm | # | Reply

            Then Amber probably watched it already and knows wayyyy more than butt-touching about her step-bro.

    • Adept
      Adept
      May 8, 2025 at 7:21 am | # | Reply

      Step-brother is not the same as a brother you grew up with. They don’t magically become icky to think about in sex context.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        May 9, 2025 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

        I wasn’t thinking of ‘icky’ in that sense, more like ‘I do not need to be hearing this about this fucking dork I spent Christmas break with’.

    • GholaHalleck
      GholaHalleck
      May 8, 2025 at 1:22 pm | # | Reply

      Meanwhile, Amber is pounding her mental keyboard writing the smutfic.

  19. Dante
    Dante
    May 8, 2025 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Jokes aside. The last time we saw Amazi-girl, she was about kicking an incel’s ass. He was one of Ryan’s pals, and the connection with Tony def gave her a lead. I think it’s safe to say she’s back to superheroing

    • deliverything
      deliverything
      May 8, 2025 at 3:28 am | # | Reply

      To be fair, it’s hard to meet someone like Incelerator and not be tempted to do a little ass-kicking. My current headcanon is that Amazi-girl had been retired from superheroing at the time but couldn’t resist going after that guy, then concluded “guess I’m doing this again”.

  20. AnonGrouch
    AnonGrouch
    May 8, 2025 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

    It just occurred to me that Joyce’s outdoor voice probably rivals that of an umpire.

  21. segnosaur
    segnosaur
    May 8, 2025 at 12:21 am | # | Reply

    Just trying to remember…

    What does Joe know of the Amazi-girl/Amber dynamic? Does he know they are the “same” person? Does he know she seems to have some sort of split personality?

    (Looking through the archive the only strips they seem to have interacted was after Amber took on the “incel-erator” villain in the cafeteria.)

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      May 8, 2025 at 12:30 am | # | Reply

      Given that he apparently didn’t even know Amazi-Girl was real, I can’t imagine he’s aware of any connection at all between her and Amber.

      • Steamweed
        Steamweed
        May 8, 2025 at 11:42 am | # | Reply

        Huh. He’s got some surprises coming with his new family.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 8, 2025 at 7:30 pm | # | Reply

      Amber mentioned it once, but it appears he either didn’t hear or took it as a joke.

  22. Axel
    Axel
    May 8, 2025 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    I understand Joyce’s thin. I’m not religious and never was, but my brain still fall for lots of things I no longer am. I’ve been out as trans masc for 8 years and still sometimes go ‘me?’ internally when someone says ‘ladies,’ and I dropped out of college a decade ago but still occasionally think ‘I’ve never done that’ when someone describes a brand new trend amongst students.

  23. Li
    Li
    May 8, 2025 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    THIS IS REALLY CUTE, no notes. 🙂

  24. Qube
    Qube
    May 8, 2025 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    chalk it up to old habits

  25. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    May 8, 2025 at 12:28 am | # | Reply

    Joyce’s testing the water.

  26. Francoinblanco
    Francoinblanco
    May 8, 2025 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

    nothing amuses the devil as much as hearing that he doesn’t exist

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 8, 2025 at 12:49 am | # | Reply

      Then who is 9 Chickweed Lane written for?

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 8, 2025 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

        Nobody. The author can’t even remember what happened one panel ago.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          May 8, 2025 at 8:12 am | # | Reply

          I had to stop reading that one. Ugh.

      • Straximus
        Straximus
        May 8, 2025 at 2:22 am | # | Reply

        We’ll sooner learn how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop before anyone figures that one out.

      • Freezer
        Freezer
        May 8, 2025 at 3:12 am | # | Reply

        The voices in Brook McElwordswordswords’ head.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 8, 2025 at 1:53 am | # | Reply

      no. nothing amuses the devil as much as telling that tedious fineas and ferb joke. when you see or hear it, that person is the devil. And not the cool the devil, the terrible one.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 8, 2025 at 9:59 am | # | Reply

        The stupid coins one?

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 8, 2025 at 10:44 am | # | Reply

          exactly

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            May 8, 2025 at 10:46 am | # | Reply

            Boy, if I had a nickel for every weird nickel I twice but if I a lot if I had a time it if every it twice I happened if it I ni ckel I weird it but I

    • Nymph
      Nymph
      May 8, 2025 at 5:09 pm | # | Reply

      That’s fine as long as someone thinks I’m funny.

  27. Kyulen
    Kyulen
    May 8, 2025 at 12:40 am | # | Reply

    Now I’m wondering if Amazi-Girl was following Joe and Joyce, or if she just happened to be passing by the area with the gazebo at the right time.

    • Big Z
      Big Z
      May 8, 2025 at 8:08 am | # | Reply

      I assume, honestly, that she’s been looking for Incelerator to cause issues at the protest that’s been happening in the background noise of the storyline.

    • Mr.Morningstar
      Mr.Morningstar
      May 8, 2025 at 10:30 am | # | Reply

      If she is it’d likely be at Dorothy’s request, I don’t see any reason for her to particularly care if joe and Joyce fuck

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        May 8, 2025 at 10:56 am | # | Reply

        Or she noticed something was wrong with Dorothy and is investigating.

    • Buck Ripsnort
      Buck Ripsnort
      May 8, 2025 at 11:22 am | # | Reply

      She’s just looking for a tall structure to strike a Classic Comics Pose.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 8, 2025 at 5:32 pm | # | Reply

        buck gets it

  28. Jesse
    Jesse
    May 8, 2025 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

    Jesse Dusk
    ·
    21h

    ?You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy’s hole…?

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      May 8, 2025 at 12:51 am | # | Reply

      Goddammit, I copy-pasted this from the Patreon update and accidentally copied the part before the comment.
      Anyway, it’s an Always Sunny joke in case anyone’s wondering.

  29. Freezer
    Freezer
    May 8, 2025 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    Amazi-Girl: The Cock Blocking Returns

  30. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    May 8, 2025 at 1:36 am | # | Reply

    Thank god for Amazi-girl, she stopped Joyce from catching Butts Disease!

  31. Foolissa
    Foolissa
    May 8, 2025 at 1:38 am | # | Reply

    See I KNEW they were planning midnight sex in the gazebo! Like I said yesterday, and someone was tryna tell me it wasn’t so

  32. Zamperla
    Zamperla
    May 8, 2025 at 1:43 am | # | Reply

    Brains default back to old patterns under sudden stress. Amazi-girl honey I don’t think theyre gonna do any public indecency its not Equipment Working temperatures.

  33. staszu13
    staszu13
    May 8, 2025 at 1:48 am | # | Reply

    Amazi-Girl on Sex Police duty

  34. Quinn
    Quinn
    May 8, 2025 at 1:56 am | # | Reply

    Cock-blocking or not, AG looks badass as usual. I am curious to real reason she’s there for. Maybe a popular spot for pushy men.

  35. Acher4
    Acher4
    May 8, 2025 at 2:22 am | # | Reply

    Sister coming for the/a rescue….?

  36. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 8, 2025 at 2:25 am | # | Reply

    Bah, she can believe in angels and be an atheist. Believe they’re enforcers of the Simulation Admin.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 8, 2025 at 3:35 am | # | Reply

      How is that different from theism?

      • AGV/Ruby
        AGV/Ruby
        May 8, 2025 at 4:28 am | # | Reply

        Have you seen Dr. Who? The Weeping Angels? Pretty sure those are sci-fi

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        May 8, 2025 at 9:15 am | # | Reply

        I’m confused at how aliens = theism.

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 8, 2025 at 10:49 am | # | Reply

          If they are supernatural and significantly superior to humans because of their supernatural traits, they’re gods. “Simulation” is dressing up supernaturalism with science fiction.

        • 3oranges
          3oranges
          May 8, 2025 at 8:13 pm | # | Reply

          And I’m confused how believing someone made our universe and has agents to enforce their will on it != theism.

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      May 8, 2025 at 3:43 am | # | Reply

      I think that’s basically Evangelion, except in that the angels come from The Human Condition, or some shit.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        May 8, 2025 at 9:15 am | # | Reply

        Then Shinji can marry Lilith.

        🙂

      • Li
        Li
        May 8, 2025 at 11:27 pm | # | Reply

        Fun fact: Anno’s been quite forthright that Eva’s Christian symbolism was 1000% them being cool and edgy about a religion they didn’t really understand or care about (something like 2% of Japan is Christian), and he’s admitted that they probably would’ve put more effort and thought into it if they’d expected the series to ever go international.

        I think it’s fun. I think more countries should do this, treating Christianity the same way we treat the Greek and Norse pantheons.

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 8, 2025 at 3:46 am | # | Reply

      now there’s an interesting take on the Matrix…

    • Buck Ripsnort
      Buck Ripsnort
      May 8, 2025 at 11:20 am | # | Reply

      “Enforcers of the Simulation” would be Mr Smith and the other agents from the Matrix.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        May 8, 2025 at 3:42 pm | # | Reply

        Which are angels if we go with Gnosticism.

  37. SvenTS
    SvenTS
    May 8, 2025 at 2:29 am | # | Reply

    No atheists in a tush-hole… wait….

  38. mel
    mel
    May 8, 2025 at 2:34 am | # | Reply

    me sensing a situation not about me

  39. Adept
    Adept
    May 8, 2025 at 2:35 am | # | Reply

    Pneumonia blocked by Amazi-girl.

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      May 8, 2025 at 11:41 am | # | Reply

      Did she bring a couple Amazi-thermal-blankets?

      (which are those little $2 emergency mylar blankets with the A-G logo done in sharpie)

  40. Rectilinear Propagation
    Rectilinear Propagation
    May 8, 2025 at 3:22 am | # | Reply

    For half a second I thought Joe’s butt made a metallic sound when she grabbed it.

    • AGV/Ruby
      AGV/Ruby
      May 8, 2025 at 4:29 am | # | Reply

      Same. Glutes of steel!

  41. George the Archon
    George the Archon
    May 8, 2025 at 6:57 am | # | Reply

    This campus has a bad case of Amazi-Girls. They’re kinda like squirrels, but occasionally beat up evil-doers.

    • Nymph
      Nymph
      May 8, 2025 at 5:05 pm | # | Reply

      So, exactly like squirrels.

      • Li
        Li
        May 8, 2025 at 11:28 pm | # | Reply

        Like squirrel girls, if you will.

  42. George the Archon
    George the Archon
    May 8, 2025 at 7:03 am | # | Reply

    Honestly? I suspect Amazi-girl to be checking that everything’s consensual, given her compartmentalised experiences of Joyce (and possibly Joe)

    And hey, we may see the re-appearance off the Amazi-condoms! (“Amazi-girl is prepared for everything!” I think was the line when they were introduced.)

  43. Sillygoose
    Sillygoose
    May 8, 2025 at 7:46 am | # | Reply

    Don’t you mean hypochondria, which is the powerhouse of the frail?

    • Sillygoose
      Sillygoose
      May 8, 2025 at 7:47 am | # | Reply

      Well that was a feeble joke to begin with, and now it posted so far from the intended comment it makes zero sense, well done me

      • Masumi
        Masumi
        May 8, 2025 at 8:45 am | # | Reply

        Still giggled.

  44. Steamweed
    Steamweed
    May 8, 2025 at 7:54 am | # | Reply

    Joyce, you done touched a penis before, too. Touched it a lot, moreover. You even spilled some seed on that table. No angry angel at that time. Your guilty conscious expecting one now??

    • Mr.Morningstar
      Mr.Morningstar
      May 8, 2025 at 10:23 am | # | Reply

      Looks Joyce’s neurosis’ isn’t always consistent

      • BorkBorkBork
        BorkBorkBork
        May 8, 2025 at 11:15 am | # | Reply

        Nah, it’s consistent. With how devout Joyce was, she knows that the Sex Vengeance Angels™ are spread very thin, and typically only intervene when there’s a looming risk of consensual intercourse. That’s why churchy kids will do absolutely everything else *except* sex during college.

    • Kevin K
      Kevin K
      May 8, 2025 at 12:51 pm | # | Reply

      Maybe there’s a lot of butt angels, but a shortage of ding-dong angels. That’s my theology and I’m sticking to it.

      • Steamweed
        Steamweed
        May 8, 2025 at 8:29 pm | # | Reply

        Makes as much sense as the whole cherubim-are-cute-chubby-toddlers thing. Please send your submission to the Nicean Council 3.0 (don’t ask what happened with 2.0), and they’ll get back to you within 3-5 business years.

    • Nymph
      Nymph
      May 8, 2025 at 5:05 pm | # | Reply

      They weren’t outside that time, the angels couldn’t see them.

  45. Big Z
    Big Z
    May 8, 2025 at 8:10 am | # | Reply

    I’m putting my money on “Amazi-Girl is here coincidentally, as she’s been looking for Incelerator to cause trouble at the protest all day.”

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      May 8, 2025 at 8:15 am | # | Reply

      But it’s midnight now. Is that protest still going on? They’re camping out maybe?

      • Big Z
        Big Z
        May 8, 2025 at 8:40 am | # | Reply

        It wouldn’t be unheard of if it mimics other modern-day campus protests for there to be camping out or people still there past midnight.

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 8, 2025 at 11:00 am | # | Reply

          AG climbing buildings while there’s cops everywhere, including with scopes on top of buildings. Betting she gets caught or nearly caught.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          May 8, 2025 at 11:38 am | # | Reply

          Dang. Considering that cold, I hope they’re all well-prepared. Sufficient gear,
          plus medic people, plus food and water supplies, etc.

    • Buck Ripsnort
      Buck Ripsnort
      May 8, 2025 at 11:19 am | # | Reply

      My prayers go with yours. I had this sick feeling Amazi-Girl was “keeping an eye on Joe” so he doesn’t “prey on the innocent Joyce.”

  46. WAhydrohead
    WAhydrohead
    May 8, 2025 at 8:22 am | # | Reply

    It’s a little like religion and a lot like gumbo, you should never know when you’re going to get it next.

  47. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    May 8, 2025 at 8:50 am | # | Reply

    A favorite C-A-D has Ethan reacting to Lila’s icy feet on his legs, and her replying “We’re married. Half of your body heat is legally mine.”

  48. fawndolyn
    fawndolyn
    May 8, 2025 at 11:01 am | # | Reply

    Finally, she’s able to actually say the word Sex!

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      May 8, 2025 at 11:35 am | # | Reply

      Gravatar face is (*chef’s kiss) appropriate face.

  49. Felian
    Felian
    May 8, 2025 at 11:05 am | # | Reply

    I don’t like the girlfriend toll.

    I don’t like the hetero dynamic where a woman overrides her man’s comfort on account of gender.

    You don’t get to complain about the cold because i’m a woman and you have to warm me at your own expense.
    I will put my foot down about how you do anything in life, because i’m a woman and you are clearly my toddler project who needs to be taught to tidy his room and play less video games.
    I will eat your food because i have refused to plan ahead when we ordered.
    But i’m PRETTY so i get away with all that!

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      May 8, 2025 at 11:07 am | # | Reply

      Look, I’m sorry she did that to you, but it’s really not so deep.

    • Mr.Morningstar
      Mr.Morningstar
      May 8, 2025 at 12:30 pm | # | Reply

      Jesus christ dude it’s really not that deep.

      I guarantee you if he actually expressed discomfort with this situation joyce would but have grabbed the butt.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      May 8, 2025 at 1:55 pm | # | Reply

      excuse me

      it’s FEWER video games, not less

      because they’re countable

      • Dwampre Scorrigank
        Dwampre Scorrigank
        May 8, 2025 at 8:16 pm | # | Reply

        *videos game

      • Alan Lafond
        Alan Lafond
        May 8, 2025 at 8:56 pm | # | Reply

        That was literally my first thought when reading that as well! But then I re-read it, and it actually makes sense, if you interpret “less video games” as “less time playing video games” which is what I think he was going for.

      • Big Z
        Big Z
        May 9, 2025 at 8:15 am | # | Reply

        Maybe the way YOU do it. My video gaming is a continuous stream unmarred by demarcations, a veritable heap if you will.

    • Nadamás
      Nadamás
      May 8, 2025 at 2:46 pm | # | Reply

      Man, chill out, sometimes you gotta learn to separate your personal issues with the fiction you are reading.

    • Nymph
      Nymph
      May 8, 2025 at 5:03 pm | # | Reply

      Yikes, buddy. Take a nice bath and breathe, maybe get a snack.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      May 8, 2025 at 5:25 pm | # | Reply

      Man I missed a lot of comic strips where Joyce not only took on Joe as a pet project but also ate all of his food, tried teaching him to clean his room, bossed him around and told him what to do, ordered him to play fewer video games, and backed up all of this by stating it’s because she’s pretty!! Man, where have I been?

      • Sere
        Sere
        May 8, 2025 at 5:46 pm | # | Reply

        Honestly? Joyce eating Joe’s food would be growth and they’d both acknowledge that. It means she ate something complex.

        • Doopyboop
          Doopyboop
          May 8, 2025 at 6:07 pm | # | Reply

          You’re absolutely right and you should say it even louder.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 8, 2025 at 8:39 pm | # | Reply

      That toll does indeed sound unreasonable, and you might be justified in throwing her tea into the harbor then. But between that and “guy won’t even accept her touching him if her hands are cold” there is a lot of room for healthy relationships.

  50. Boh No
    Boh No
    May 8, 2025 at 11:26 am | # | Reply

    Very curious if Dorothy’s trauma induced anxiety got the better of her and she asked AG to check on them. I’m not disappointed I’m just, worried and sad for Dorothy. I don’t think we’ve seen a serious explored polyamorous relationship in this comic as I know of and I think having a jointed three-part relationship with Dorothy and Joyce dating and Joyce and Joe dating and all platonic on Joe-Dorothy, is the best hope on all this I can ideally see

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 8, 2025 at 1:04 pm | # | Reply

      I think they’d give it the old college try, but I see Dorothy’s jealousy eating away at her too much for it to last. Especially with her pre-existing dynamic with Joyce. What happens when Joe helps Joyce solve her problems?

      It might be interesting to watch them try. And if there’s a way they work it out that’s not just a sudden “everything’s ok now”, even better.

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        May 8, 2025 at 4:59 pm | # | Reply

        Maybe the thing that happens when Joy helps Joyce solve her problems is that Dorothy learns to relax and use the spare time. Maybe she works better in a dynamic where she can accept that all the pressure to be mature isn’t on her.

        • Nymph
          Nymph
          May 8, 2025 at 5:00 pm | # | Reply

          Joe, not Joy, lmao.

  51. Yeet
    Yeet
    May 8, 2025 at 1:37 pm | # | Reply

    so is amazi girl here because people are being intimate in the gazebo and she wants to make sure it’s consensual or maybe just stop them either way because bluh bluh laws or because dorothy sent her or is she just out doing her thing and happened to show up at the time or does she perhaps crave mess as much as amber does

  52. Erica
    Erica
    May 8, 2025 at 1:58 pm | # | Reply

    Not believable. No girl actually likes boys. /s

  53. Thebatman22
    Thebatman22
    May 8, 2025 at 4:08 pm | # | Reply

    It’s always Sex O’clock in Margarittaville come to think of it.

  54. Joy
    Joy
    May 14, 2025 at 9:39 pm | # | Reply

    It spite of my extensive history of internet role plays… Joyce is sorta where I am presently when it comes to IRL sex. It’s… kinda nice to see, actually.

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