355

Share
Posted on June 1, 2014 by David M Willis

355 thoughts on “Share”

  1. Jen Aside

    whoops

    [also where’s the glitter]

    1. cesium133

      “It’s insufficiently sparkly!”

  2. BL

    poor joyce

    1. KingMabel

      poor sarah. those were new batteries.

      1. Aizat

        Should’ve get those Energizer batteries.

        1. RevenantBacon

          It’s OK, they’re totally the re-chargeable kind.

    2. -Sentinel-

      She looks so adorable in the fourth panel.

  3. Kevin

    Hahahahahahahaha

  4. Mr. D.

    Well, they do share THOSE 8V

    1. TheBlueMario

      Only scissor sisters share those

      1. Aizat

        Shouldn’t they have the doubleheader?

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Some creepy old dude took the last one in stock.

        2. LiaHansen

          what the FUCK was that??

        3. Kennerly

          Requiem for a Dream.

        4. hmmm e-yep...

          Terrifying is what that was…

    2. Jen Aside

      That’s kinda gross Xo

      [hope they at least condom them up first]

      1. Jerden

        I think that’s how you get AIDS. Well, one of many exciting ways.

        1. Jerden

          Not the cndom thing. That might help, but there’s always bleach, or just hygiene I guess.

  5. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    Ah, the rabbit. Old reliable. Good choice Sarah.

    1. EvergreenFir

      Looks more like the Eager Beaver. Rabbit has two ears on the clit vibe

      1. Tunaro

        These things have friggin’ names?!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Of cause they do, which would you use, something called The Playful Porpoise or Item 4J-0900V?

        2. Saru

          As I’m a male…if something intended for male pleasure were called “The Playful Porpoise”….well mostly I’d just be curious.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          It depends on how eager you are to poke your G-spot.

        4. RevenantBacon

          Well, considering men technically *have* a g-spot(although the prostate is a close approximation) I would assume that most mean aren’t very eager to poke it.

        5. TheOtherDibbler

          Sooo… not the time for me to mention that there are toys available for men that are designed to stimulate the p-spot? (Legit called that, I did not make that name up)

        6. Kennerly

          Toys for girls have cutesy names involving animals that might be pets. If men named sex toys, it would be called the Orgasmatron or something intimitading, like the the quivering fang.

        7. tinfoil theory

          Is The Fleshlight suitably intimidating?

        8. RevenantBacon

          How about Hazel the Werewolfess, or Mary the Anthro Mare?

          Those sound intimidating.

        9. DarkVeghetta

          Hazel the Warewolfess sounds kinda hot.

        10. DarkVeghetta

          *Werewolfess even

        11. TheOtherDibbler

          Well a quick search found me the following sex toys for men:
          The Ample Invader, Men’s Pleasure Wand, Big-Boy Anal Vibe, and The Prostatic Explorer. The other names were all boring things like ‘5 function prostate massager’. So, yeah, more toward intimidating than cutesy I guess.

        12. Historyman68

          The Prostatic Explorer!

        13. zaratustra

          The worst new series from Discovery Channel.

        14. Aolbain

          I am not letting any of those things near my body!

        15. Shawn

          Maybe a different “aisle” for Masturbators: Backdoor Betty, Noon’Her Naomi, Realistic Doggy Style, Shag’n Sally, Geisha Self-Heating Love Skin®, The Super Head Honcho….

        16. maarvarq

          Something like that, but Orgasmatron is already taken.

        17. Raznaak

          And totally worth it. Seriously. I have one, and are amazing.

        18. That girl

          The Orgasmaton is a toy that exists o.o And it’s M/F

        19. radioactive man

          Woody Allen already has one named: Mid- 1970’s comedy “Sleeper” , you do need an Orb for best results

        20. guru115

          Orgasmatron, great now I’m going to have the Motorhead song stuck in my head all day 🙂

        21. nyamaru

          Actually the orgasmatron is a toy intended for women who prefer gyrations to vibrations, not joking it has about five powerful attachments .

        22. taekwondogirl

          I always get skeeved out by how cutesy they try to make female sex toys.

        23. Pat

          Everything has names. How else do you tell them apart?

        24. tinfoil theory

          Then my name shall be whatever the name of that river is.

        25. Flygod

          any gargoyle reference brightens my day

        26. biggo

          What do you call the mouse shadow on the second moon?

        27. Starscreamer

          Mua’Dib!!!!!!

        28. Jerden

          I know how you feel. I’m named for the River Jerden.

        29. Chaucer59

          Sure, Tunaro, where did you think the name “Steely Dan” came from?

        30. bibulb

          Oh, BLESS YOU. I am grinning SO HARD right now.

        31. ProjectXa3

          Seriously?

        32. Kelly

          Read The Naked Lunch sometime 😀

        33. Bill

          Serious as a heart attack.  Refer to “Naked Lunch” by William Burroughs.

        34. Jen Aside

          Of course: Marketing

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        I remember a product called the Eager Beaver, it was a combo sweeper/vacuum cleaner back in the 80s.

        1. Anarchy 101

          It has since hit lv 30 and evolved into Eager Beaver 2.0 the super exta deluxe turbo edition sex toy

        2. RevenantBacon

          I remember a show called Angry Beavers. Is that close enough?

        3. Roborat

          Yes, I was so disappointed with that show. So not what I imagined when I heard the name.

    2. Vivvav

      The avatar just makes this really self-congratulatory.

    3. Aizat

      Wait, there are names for those?

      1. Doctor_Who

        This one is named “Jacob”.

        1. Aizat

          I would’ve expected it to be bigger….and unstoppable.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s cos the one called Jacob costs too much, she has to settle for ‘Little Joe’ for now. 😛

        3. Aizat

          Or it could have some huge risk…but think of the prize.

        4. Aolbain

          …And now DoA Jacob will forever be ME Jacob.

        5. vlademir1

          Don’t know about you, but when I think of The Prize, I expect beheading and shouts of “There can be only one!”

        6. xKiv

          I think of the Entire Prize.

    4. March

      I thought a rabbit had two ears? That said, yes. She probably had a bullet in there too. I see Sarah as a classic kind of girl.

    5. Yotomoe

      Alright everyone. Come up with a name for a vibrator. This will be a fun thread.

      The Jostler 3400 series.

      1. Tacdud2

        The Stevie wounder

        1. Jen Aside

          Robin DeSanto

        2. Historyman68

          Yep.

        3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          I would totes buy a vibrator named the Robin DeSanto.

          Willis, any chance you can make this happen?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        The Serve-X Scratcher.

        1. Aizat

          The Cave Explorer?

        2. Yotomoe

          The Gurren Longan.
          The vibrator that’ll pierce the Heavens.

        3. Aizat

          I would’ve gone with the Shin Liger…but that works too.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          The Rainbow Gash… for MLP fans.

        5. Aizat

          The Horn of the Unicorn. Why do you think it adds 700 attack points?

        6. Rybridge

          King Sombra’s Broken Horn.

        7. Yotomoe

          THE WORLD.

          Feels so good it’s like time stops. It really steamrolls ya!

        8. Aizat

          Well, Star Platinum is a tad better. Rapid action fire action and it has The World.

        9. Yotomoe

          Who are we kidding.
          Let’s get the
          SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE v1800.

        10. Anarchy 101

          How ’bout the Pretty Princess Pony Piercer 2000 : bedazzled edition

        11. Rybridge

          Pinkie Pie’s Surprise.

        12. Yotomoe

          The Defenestrator (sal’s favorite)

        13. RevenantBacon

          The Wiggling Wonder Wang!
          What?

          I like alliteration.

          Shut up!

        14. LuckyStar7

          Creamy Volcano.
          Tastes like a cherry pie.

      3. Bill

        Oh Joy Sex Toy.

        1. TsunamiJane

          Great comic!!!

          For those of you wondering: http://www.ohjoysextoy.com

        2. Betty Anne

          Oooh, new comic. And I like it already. <3 Thanks! <3

      4. Starscreamer

        The Orgasmatron 8000. It’s gas powered. And there’s a year waiting list. Can you wait that long for some c**k?

        1. AgentKeen

          Gas-Powered Stick?

      5. drs

        The Joy Stick
        The Joycetick

      6. Aljash

        The Amazi-girl.

        Do your girl justice in bed for once…

        it’s just a fist that vibrates.

  6. Geminia999

    IS that a Dexter based dildo? That button look awfully familiar

    1. Doctor_Who

      The one piece of merchandise Joyce is unlikely to buy.

      1. Yotomoe

        She’ll just kinda buy it and keep it in box so that she can say she owns every piece of merchandise.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Or she could repurpose it as an actual back massager.

        2. Aizat

          Well, at least it’s much better idea than using a gun as a back massager.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          “Your gun is digging into my hip.”

        4. Julian

          Laces out!

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes Joyce, its like a lower-back massager but it scratches the itch from your insides.

        6. tinfoil theory

          That does sound incredibly relaxing.

        7. gwalla

          Or as a hair curler.

    2. CleverTrousers

      It’s the HEAD Alien.

      1. StrawGirl

        You are the best. That is all.

      2. Jack

        Exactly what I thought when I saw it.

      3. BL

        you did NOT

  7. Idon'tcarenomore

    omg

    1. saltchocolate

      Perfect gravatar.

  8. Doctor_Who

    I like to imagine her clearing the leap up to that bunk in a single bound.

    1. Yotomoe

      She can pray as fast as a locomotive.

      1. arank11

        Didn’t we already go over Joyce’s superpowers?

        1. bodmans

          multiple times, my young padawan, multiple times

  9. EvergreenFir

    Lol, that’s all Sarah has?

    1. DailyBrad

      Girl’s on a budget

      1. KingMabel

        Two small ones or one big one?

        Save on battery costs.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      She keeps her industrial strength toys in a secret box.

      1. Tunaro

        I’ll bet she does. Couldn’t help myself.

      2. Aizat

        You mean the box with the secret string?

    3. Jen Aside

      Well, Joyce isn’t pulling them ALL out at once

      and Sarah said she had toyS

      1. -Sentinel-

        Source: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/noises/

        1. Roborat

          I had completely forgotten about that one.

    4. AgentKeen

      Well, the alt-text does say there’s no gloves in the drawer, so… No, I don’t think it is.

    5. Bill

      “Lol, that’s all Sarah has?”

      No, that was just the handiest one.

  10. iron billie

    Joyce will be burning her hand off if she ever find out what it really is and where it has been.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joyce’s hand would just dissolve from the knowledge. It would cease to be.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I think it would just turn evil like Ash’s hand in Evil Dead 2, and she’d have to cut it off.

        She’d make the most of it and put Dexter’s claw on the stump. “Trufan unlocked!”

        1. John

          Groovy.

        2. Yotomoe

          Like…Far out man.

        3. biggo

          Groovy to the MAX.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      More like WASH her hands with a nail brush until they bleed.

      1. Jen Aside

        wash hands in bleach

        shower in bleach

        break out the brain bleach

        1. Jerden

          drink the bleach

          become the bleach

        2. Krylani

          We stand in awe at that which cannot be made to stop buzzing loudly.

  11. nothri

    Well, at least she doesn’t think its a hair curler or something…

    1. John

      That would be completely ridiculous and I’m sure we’d never see it in a Willis comic ever!

      1. nothri

        Yeah, your totally right. Silly of me to even bring it up.

    2. Cholma

      That was my thought as well!

  12. etybolik

    And then Sarah walks in.

    “Why is that box buzzing?”

    1. etybolik

      Er, drawer, not box.

      Also, Joyce now recognizes the noise that wakes her some nights.

  13. Regalli

    Oh, JOYCE. I don’t think Sarah’s going to be sharing THAT with you.

    (… She might be convinced to help you go shopping, though. If it didn’t completely break your brain.)

    1. Yotomoe

      I think she’d do it especially if it breaks your brain. Sarah and Joyce may be all buddy buddy but Sarah DOES like teasin’ the shit out of Joyce (not literally though)

      1. Regalli

        Well, yes, but she can’t go shopping WITH Joyce when Joyce is already totally short-circuited.

    2. Jack Finch

      I wouldn’t underestimate Joyce’s curiosity. She can act like she knows what’s up, but underneath she’d give the Elephant’s Child a run for his money.

  14. Idon'tcarenomore

    Fell out of my chair laughing at this one. Now I want to see her face when Sarah tells her what it is.

    1. cmd1095

      you kidding? I wanna see how SARAH reacts to this

      1. Jen Aside

        “…”

        “Well, it was gonna happen EVENTUALLY.”

  15. Pteropine

    I’m eager to see Sarah’s reaction to Joyce’s curiosity and ignorance/innocence.

    1. Yotomoe

      New story for Jacob.

      1. AgentKeen

        Jacob: “Y’know, I found something like that in one of Ethan’s drawers, too.”

        1. Yotomoe

          Only his was as big as my arm.

        2. Jen Aside

          “And it was, in fact, shaped like an arm with a fist.”

          …

          “And another one was kind of a cupped hand shape.”

        3. JustCheetoDust

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lfTfTuj9g&t=3m37s

        4. nothri

          Given the topic of discussion, there is simply no way in hell I’m clicking that link!

        5. Jen Aside

          Don’t worry, it’s just a Rickroll 😉

        6. JustCheetoDust

          “Will Arnett wielding a motor-powered fisting machine” is the new Rickroll?

        7. Jen Aside

          ThatWasTheJoke.jpg

        8. Deanatay

          A baby’s arm holding an apple, amirite?

        9. Wack'd

          “You’re sucking on my elbow.”

        10. vlademir1

          Except Ethan’s likely looks kinda like this and is plausibly custom made ;D

        11. vlademir1

          Or this even because photobucket is getting stupider every time I use it:
          http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i58/vlademir1/21c73a16-2d75-4b5c-9fd8-9f6e46db3a71_zps2beca6a0.jpg

  16. Yotsuyasan

    In the immortal words of George Takai, “Oh my!”

  17. c_ludenberg

    joyce no get out of that drawer

  18. AHR

    Nice tastes, Sarah.

  19. Kernanator

    Don’t worry Joyce, that’s Sarah’s toy drawer!

    1. arank11

      Warning: toy drawer does not contain Barbies, Transformers, My Little Ponies, or any real toy a mother would give to her child

      1. Aizat

        Well, she does have Woody and Buzz.

        1. arank11

          You sir have just made my day

        2. MM

          To infinity and beyond indeed.

        3. Bill

          Actually, Toy Story 4 is going to be subtitled “Mom’s Toys”.
          And the main characters are still named ‘Woody’ and ‘Buzz’.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          Are they still voiced by Hanks and Allen?

        5. Tenn

          “Yes, ma’am, I’m holding a big Woody here.”

    2. Jen Aside

      “Is this toy for boys or girls?”

      Q: Do you operate it with your genitals?

      Y: This toy is not for boys or girls.
      N: This toy is for boys and girls.

      1. Rybridge

        Going back to earlier, what would Joyce think of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Would it be cute or would it be witchcraft?

        1. tinfoil theory

          Cute witchcraft.

        2. darkgloomie

          eh, Celestia is clearly an allegory for the Almighty, like that other one, the big cat from that book series.

        3. tinfoil theory

          Celestia is the evil one who banished her sister into solitary confinement for partying all night?

        4. Kintrex

          Isn’t that what god did to Lucy?

        5. John

          Garfield?

      2. Deanatay

        technically, a vibrator is not controlled by the genitals. It is used to control the genitals.

        1. Jen Aside

          “Do you operate it… WITH your genitals?”

          as in, “Do you cook… with wine?”

          In the latter, the wine is not the thing doing the cooking, but a supplement to the operation. I was going to say “use with/on” but I believe that was the original phrasing in the joke.

  20. Yotomoe

    Ewww. I hope Sarah keeps those SANITARY.

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Just try to think about something else, like how there’s no sink in there.”

      “So what if the- OH MY GOD! THERE’S NO SINK!”

      1. Kennerly

        You don’t need a sink, just some rubbing alcohol. Hand sanitizer can sanitize more than just hands.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          It can also “sanitize” sobriety. Filthy, filthy sobriety.

      2. Chubsius

        Also, Sarah is the practical kind if lady who might buy the special cleaning wipes many companies offer.

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    I thought she would have figured it out from her Google search for strap-ons.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s just like a strap-on…but even more lonely.

      1. KingMabel

        1 is the loneliest number.

        But all you need is 2 batteries to forget about all that

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          D size batteries if I recall correctly.

        2. Yotomoe

          She wants the D!!!!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          The double D toi be exact. 😀

        4. Aizat

          Never knew that Double D is a chick magnet. I thought Ed’s the only chick magnet.

        5. ShaggyDonahugh

          Ya kidding me? Nerdy brains over Oafish strength every day xD
          Thanks for the EE&E reference btw ^_^

        6. Silly goose

          D? M…y roommate’s totally only takes double A. It’s a cheapie, then again.

          So I’ve heard. Ahem.

        7. Roborat

          Really, most of the ones I am familiar with take double a, usually four.

        8. Rybridge

          Win.

    2. John

      She doesn’t recognize it without glitter.

      1. Jen Aside

        or the belt

  22. EvergreenFir

    There’s no sink in the room. (Archer reference)

  23. derick

    This is the best one. It’s all down hill from here.

    1. MM

      She could still call in Dina to investigate for her.

  24. DailyBrad

    Well, the secret is out. Sarah is a Jedi, and that’s how she knew to go to that party with the bat. You found her lightsaber handle.

    1. Reltzik

      Feel the Force FLOWING through you.

  25. Tunaro

    There is no part of this that I don’t love.

  26. arank11

    I’m now picturing Joyce actually using it as a microphone.
    “Dooon’t stop… Beliiiieeeving! Hee hee. It tickles my hand”

    1. lejwocky

      Just like Rammstein

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Could you be refering to Rammstein’s Pussy?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX7ur4Ey5X4

        1. lejwocky

          Actually I was referring to the dildo-microphone Till uses in the music video for Ich Tu Dir Weh:
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLPE4vhSBx4

  27. Ragnal

    “Sarah Performs a Nope”, the next Slipshine comic where we see what Sarah REALLY does when she walks away from the storyline/character development.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      So “sitting alone in your room and quietly fuming at the world’s idiocy” was just code?

      1. gangler

        She was nervous and fumbled her words. The phrase she was looking for is “letting off some steam”. Sitting alone in your room and quietly letting off some steam over the world’s idiocy while wearing a mouth guard to prevent enamel wear.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Noted, although my comment above was for fatuousness.

  28. Aizat

    I am at lost for words….never seen the thing in real life, really.

  29. JustCheetoDust

    “Sarah, I smell your lightsaber.“

    1. Aizat

      You know, it’s a good idea to put your nose real close to a lightsaber….unless you really hate your nose.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Eh, those things are a gyp.

        1. Aizat

          Well, it’s against Brock Sampson. You know, Ash William’s great, great, great grandson.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          To be fair, that thing was built by “Dr.” Venture. I suppose his brother could’ve made one that was actually lethal.

        3. tinfoil theory

          Well, it still looks cool.

          Laser Swords at Dawn

  30. Yotomoe

    Ew it has the butt part. Grown-ups are grooooss.

    1. Salmo

      That’s not a butt part, man.

      1. Yotomoe

        Vibrators are also wierd!!!

        1. Sageress

          Sweet, innocent Yotomoe.

        2. Yotomoe

          Innocence is Wierd!!!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I know, poop comes out of butts after all.

    3. timemonkey

      …how do you know less about women’s sex toys than I do? I don’t even like ladyparts?

      1. Yotomoe

        I find them gross. And I’m straight. It’s really wierd.

        1. Chubsius

          Might I respectfully suggest that a lack of information and understanding may be coloring your perception? May I recommend ohjoysextoy, the toy review webcomic, and a tenga 3d for some self-acquaintance?

        2. deathjavu

          Seconded, OJST is supremely interesting even if you’re not making any purchases. It’s downright educational, and on topics you might have difficulty learning about elsewhere.

        3. Yotomoe

          Everything’s gross D: Toys are gross. Hands are where it’s at!

        4. Chubsius

          Ah, but our dexterous hands have allowed us as a species to build tools to help us in every aspect of our life. I admit some toys are more tasteful than others, realistic one are a bit uncanny valley for me, but quite a few are really rather artful.

    4. Silly goose

      Friend, that is the BEST part.

    5. Maveric1984

      The “butt part” is actually the clit tickler. It is positioned so that when the big part is inside, the little part is in juuuuuuuust the right spot for a little external stimulation.

  31. Karfsma778

    To Be Continued… on Slipshine.

  32. KingMabel

    Hey the batteries are still good!
    Continuity error? maybe?

    1. Aizat

      Must’ve been new batteries.

      1. KingMabel

        Oh good. I think shirtless Jacob is coming up soon. She’ll need that.

  33. Michael

    So. Now we know that Sarah’s needs aren’t going unattended.

    1. Yotomoe

      Well…partially? Y’know…like owning a dog when you really want a child.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Unlike children, you don’t need to pay for your dog’d college.

        1. Aizat

          And they don’t ask much.

        2. Yotomoe

          But they won’t support you in your old age. Also they will die pretty quickly and so you have to spend more time being sad.

        3. cmd1095

          only DoA comments could make this kind of analogy work so long

        4. JustCheetoDust

          Not really, no.

        5. timemonkey

          Yeah, but if your dog is an asshole you can get rid of it and get a nicer one.

        6. Aizat

          Apparently you didn’t know about a certain pink dog.

        7. Anon

          Forreal. That dog supported them in their old age and REFUSED to die quickly ahah I <3 Courage

        8. JustCheetoDust

          Panel 2

        9. Jen Aside

          Why You Should Never Ever Ever Get a Tattoo (But Having a Baby Is Fine)

      2. caesaria82

        Unless all you really want is a dog right now and you’re perfectly fine with just the dog. Maybe some day you’ll have the child or maybe you won’t. Some people are fine with just dogs, y’know?

        Basically, what I’m saying is, sex with yourself is totally a valid life choice and does not neccessarily have to be a subtitute for anything else.

        1. torstu

          +1 from a libidoist asexual!

    2. Alex

      She already established she had toys to give her the only thing she needs from boys.

  34. Rhy

    Destruction of Joyce’s innocence one comic at a time.

    1. Aizat

      By the end of university…Joyce will be broken.

      1. takashid

        in a good way

  35. caesaria82

    I love absolutely everything about this strip. Just laughed out loud at 6 in the morning, well done, a+++, 10/10, would read again.

  36. John Madden

    [evil laughing begins and intensifies]

    1. Mass Confusion

      [cackles internally]

  37. Joebo

    Yep, your younger self would be reeling from this comic.

  38. DrBear

    Come to think of it, “Monkey Master” would be the perfect name for that device, whatever it is.

    1. caesaria82

      That really totally does sound like the name of a vibrator.

      1. gangler

        And now I know that I’m ignorant of vibrator naming conventions.

  39. Rybridge

    This could be the opening to the next Dumbing of Age Pornagraphique.

  40. AgentKeen

    Rub it on your tummy, Joyce.

  41. NinjaNick

    Now you need latex gloves to switch it off. 😛

  42. Pyr05

    There’s no tag for that bad boy?

  43. Jimmy

    Maybe it’s an electrical ear cleaner.

    (Bonus points if anyone gets the movie reference)

  44. B

    Well, if she didn’t suspect it’s a dildo, she wouldn’t be looking at it from so far away, with a tight grip on her bed, now would she?
    Also, what’s that small part for if it’s not for her butt?

    1. Ry

      It’s for clitoral stimulation.

    2. tinfoil theory

      I think she was just scared from the noise and the sudden vibrating.

  45. Saucy Sarnac

    There’s a good and bad ending to this. The good: Joyce discovers the female orgasm and is more comfortable with her own sexuality as a result.
    The bad ending: Ruthless catches Joyce and publicly embarrasses her.
    The DAMMIT WILLIS ending: Sarah has a venereal disease that is passed on to Joyce.

  46. Nick Piers

    Between this and Walky Performs a Sex, DoA is oddly starting to enter Menage a 3 territory. And I’m strangely okay with that.

  47. Robert

    Aaaaaaannd its back to the sweater vests for Joyce…

  48. saltchocolate

    Smiling!!!!

  49. Chico

    kick it into the hallway, it might still be alive

  50. newllend

    You can’t rule that out so quickly though Joyce, try holding it closer to you face.

  51. Jesse

    I’d ask what the hook is for, but I might not want to know.

    1. Salmo

      For the clitoris.

      1. Jen Aside

        I’m sure Willis can draw a Slipshine if you need illustration =3

        [please?]

      2. Jesse

        Oh. I thought maybe it was an anal thing, what you said is less disgusting.

        1. Roborat

          Actually, some girls use it for that.

    2. David M Willis

      so joyce isn’t the only one who is amazingly unfamiliar with vibrators

      1. Jesse

        I never really had a use for one.

        1. Runcible Spoon

          Me neither, but I still figured it out.

          After seeing the number of people whose first instinct is to think that it’s for the butt instead of the clitoris, I’m starting to understand why the female orgasm has a reputation for being so elusive…

        2. Chubsius

          Like iDevices, sex toys satisfy needs you never even knew you had.

        3. Jesse

          No, I mean I’m anatomically incompatible with vibrators.

        4. Joebo

          Incompatible with their mainstream use at least…

        5. David M Willis

          This poor guy doesn’t have a butthole!

        6. Jesse

          LOL – but no, I’m not into shoving things there, so it doesn’t count.

        7. Chubsius

          Vibrators can also be attached to penises, you know, and can be enjoyable for both people involved. They even have disposable versions in with the condoms in the pharmacy section.

          The more you know.

        8. Anon

          Also, its hilariously incorrect to think sex toys are only for women. While I’ve never used em (on myself, at least ;), guys have assholes, prostates, testicles, penises, and nipples: the possibilities are endless.

        9. DesiDesiDesi

          Ya can also use dildos on your partner if you don’t feel comfortable usin’ one on yourself! Sexy fun for everyone involved!

    3. Jesse

      I feel kinda like a Joyce right now.

  52. Corsair114

    Sarah is gonna be *pissed* the next time she goes to use that and the batteries are dead.

    1. Jesse

      And it’s been rolling around on the floor, that can’t be sanitary.

      1. Anon

        Not really a big deal. That’s the least of “my” problems.

  53. Dutch

    Well its not a bumblebee.

    And there’s no sink in the room….

  54. Crumplepunch

    I’m always losing my gloves in my vibrator drawer.

    Wait.

  55. acher4

    Buahahahahhaah!

    Oh joyce.

  56. Just Me

    Ah, aside from the Juvenile Humor Factor, why didn’t Joyce just go outside the building and pick up her gloves? Or better yet, why doesn’t she just go shopping and buy herself a pair of cool gloves?

  57. Oxyvolt

    Next pornographique will be about Sarah having some solo time. I might be wrong, but now, I can tell you “Ha, see, I was right!” if it happens.

  58. Taigan

    Funny as this is, I’m a bit perplexed why Joyce would be rooting around the drawer without looking in it. Even if she can identify gloves by Braille, wouldn’t it be faster to just look?

  59. Alex C

    At least she didn’t scream.

  60. Kathleen

    Does the bible say anything against female masturbation or is it just implied? I know men aren’t supposed to put their seed in the ground, and yer not supposed to lust over other people before marriage but if you somehow managed to not think of someone while you did it, would it be Christian?

    1. Eromer

      Kathleen, back in my days of living with a rule-based faith as my main priority, the question you just posed would torture me. You framed it exactly as I would think over it. I still have no answers….but my faith is more fluid and mystical now (think Alan Watts ) and I just accept ambiguities as a beautiful part of life…..and I have a lot more inner peace because of it 🙂

    2. Silly goose

      Hopefully this becomes a full Joyce storyline. With her budding sexually it would be nice to see her at another crossroads with her faith and her feelings.

      I have a feeling she’d be one of those wondering if she would even still be a virgin if she used one of those.

    3. insomniac

      Of course, Onan’s deal was that he was supposed to be knocking up his brother’s wife and pulled out, so the connection to masturbation is pretty tenuous. Even if the passage is taken as a general rule against jizz on the ground, it doesn’t say anything about gym socks or tissues.

    4. Salmo

      Masturbation = lust
      Lust = sin

      It’s just that easy. Plus, in the patriarchy/purity culture, which is at the very least an influence on Joyce’s family, having sexual thoughts is considered morally equivalent to cheating on your future husband.

    5. RandomRedMage

      The real question is, if one were to masturbate without ANY impure thoughts at all, would the penis stay hard to ALLOW the masturbation to actually occur?

    6. Bill

      Frankie say: Relax, don’t do it.

  61. Van Jealous

    Say “Hello” to my little friend!

    1. Roborat

      Not all that little.

  62. CianM1301

    Oh God.

  63. Deanatay

    I thought Joyce had read up thoroughly on ‘sparkly plastic man-dangles’… then again, she may have scrubbed her mind clean of such info, afterwards…

    Pity, she could really use of these, to deal with her… strange dreams…

    1. ZORK

      I was wondering the same. A strap-on looks most likely very similiar to a vibrator, after all.

      I maybe she’s in some sort of denial here, because she doesn’t want to think too much about the sex life of her room mate?

      1. Jen Aside

        The hook bit might’ve thrown her off.

  64. SilverArrowArtemis

    *dies of laughter*

  65. Nebulous

    That’s an odd looking Sonic Screwdriver.

  66. BlackIo

    This is pretty much the best thing.

  67. Walky

    I shall call it the pump action shotgun!

  68. RootyToot2oot

    You continue to be a genius in comic storytelling. Happy, happy, happy. Don’t you ever quit.

  69. Chubsius

    Willis, can it be canon that Amazigirl owns this “batman” themed dildo, because Batman? I kind of want one just because, Batman, don’t you?

    http://www.docjohnson.com/collections/super-hung-heroes/superhung-heroes-thecapedcock-black.html

  70. MrSirk

    Joyce is having a rather unique and enlightening morning so far. At fhis point anything can happen.

  71. Jack

    Joyce, no! What would Chastity Churchmouse think about this?

    1. Kintrex

      Hey, it doesn’t count if it’s made of plastic.

      1. HorchataShake

        actually, silicone is much more sanitary and prefered. Plastic harbors bacteria.

      2. Jack

        She’s not 23 though, so her dad owns her vagina.

  72. HorchataShake

    Also Willis, TIL how young your user base is.

    1. WeezerLuvr3030

      How patronizing and accepting of the Madonna-Whore dichotomy is the user base?!

      *reads thread*

      Feminism is dead.

  73. Jen

    I think Joyce should educate herself by reading the webcomic http://www.ohjoysexytoy.com . Then, when she encounters the random vibrator, she’ll know exactly what it is and how well it performs. 😉

  74. Ironbillie

    Man Sarah that is one nice ( and pricy ) sex toy you got there.

  75. Gareth

    We’ll I’ve binge read all of dumbing of age, I now has something to fill the gap when shortpacked finished. Though I can’t help but imagine the following scene when I read Monday’s shortpacked

    Shortpacked: you reek of binge reading…you’ve been reading dumbing of age haven’t you? Haven’t you?

    Me: No shortpacked, you’re the only walkyverse comic for me

    Shortpacked: don’t lie to me! It’s because she’s younger isn’t it!

    (Despite all the doubt and friendship related paranoia the inside of my head is a really fun place to be at times)

  76. Fen_Star

    Sarah, you should put your toys in a clearly labled opaque box, along with anything else people don’t want to know about. No one would open a box labled “sex toys.”

    1. JetstreamGW

      … That’d be the first box they open!

  77. Tenn

    Oh, Joyce. X-toy!

  78. man in black

    Question is who is going to be more embarrassed?

  79. Anon

    My comments got deleted? I’m just curious as to why, Willis, and I’d really appreciate an explanation. Thanks!

    1. David M Willis

      New commenters have to have their posts approved by me first before they appear on the page.

      They were not deleted. I was just taking a nap.

  80. Eebiot

    Sees comic, laughs.
    Sees comments section, “WTF did I just walk into?”

  81. XMinusOne

    It’s The Milkshake Maker from Ronco, Joyce. Just put ice cream and milk in a glass, turn the MM on and stick in in. In minutes, you have a nice frothy milkshake and don’t worry, it’s waterproof. Nothing is more pleasurable than a good milkshake. Offer void where prohibited by law.

    1. Jen Aside

      Does it bring all the boys to the yard?

  82. Bagge

    Darnit

  83. Tealjoy

    I didn’t think we’d come back to this so soon haha first strap-ons now vibrators

  84. LuckyStar7

    We have all had this weird moment as a child.
    Yes, I’m willing to bet even you,Yotomoe.

  85. Heavensrun

    I can’t believe in over 300 comments, nobody has asked for a large version of panel 3. Panel 3 is comedy gold. Panel 3 is the punchline of the comic, as far as I’m concerned.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      I can’t believe Willis actually takes requests from the comments section, as opposed to Tumblr or Twitter.

  86. Keith the verbos and boring

    FGBLOTD…priceless. Better than a dog with a bone.

  87. Roborat

    While I was expecting a vibrator joke to show up eventually, I anticipated it to be Dina finding it, then wandering around the floor asking people what it was.

    1. Roborat

      And to Sarah, you should look into the Hitachi Magic Wand, that sucker plugs into the wall, and has a VERY powerful motor. And technically it is a legitimate muscle massager, so you have a cover story if somebody does see it.

  88. JA

    Oh Lawds…

  89. tahrey

    Panel 3: wide eyes
    Panel 5: sudden sharp intake of breath in place of public gales of laughter
    “What is … describe your reaction to this strip?”

    Well played once again, Willis.

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