274

Shared moment
Posted on April 7, 2014 by David M Willis

274 thoughts on “Shared moment”

  1. Jen Aside

    Awww ^_^

    1. Clodia

      Awwwwwww…

      1. -Sentinel-

        I third the sentiment.

        1. Aeyt

          I think it needs a D.

          Dawwww

        2. Ocbrad1

          That’s my go to as well. D’awwww!

        3. Metroidwave

          Too much sentiment.
          Bwahhhhh!

        4. Aint seen nothin yet

          she got plenty of the D last night

          for a nickle

      2. Yet-One-More-Idiot

        “Back when she was a young hot college student”…

        Waitaminute, he’s saying that as though she won’t still be a young hot PRESIDENT in the future.

        Also d’awwwwww. 🙂

        1. drs

          Constitution requires you to be at least 35 to be President, and realistically Presidents are older. Not too young, especially by 18 year old standards.

        2. Yet-One-More-Idiot

          Young is relative. Sure, 18yo Walky wouldn’t refer to a (min) 35yo Dorothy as a young hot President, but (min) 35yo Walky probably would. 🙂

          Also, I kinda forgot that you actually have such a high minimum age set by law to become President. Technically, the legal minimum age to be Prime Minister here in Britain is now 18 (was 21 until relatively recently), and our youngest PM ever was just 24!

        3. JetstreamGW

          Keep in mind: That’s the minimum LEGAL age. Youngest President we ever had was John F. Kennedy, and he was 43. Pushing 44, in fact.

        4. JetstreamGW

          Oh crap, my bad. Teddy Roosevelt was apparently a bit younger. 42. Whoops.

        5. Pat

          I think it only requires you to be 35 to run for president. If you’re in the line of succession when everybody above you dies, no problem.

        6. Oruncrest

          Minimum age to run for the office is 35. Dorothy can still be hot, but referring to her as young might be a bit of a stretch.

        7. taekwondogirl

          Well she won’t be young nor a college student in 30 years, regardless of everything else.

        8. Marcos Dantas

          PILF?

    2. Tunaro

      <3

    3. Aprion

      All those feels ^^

    4. Tenn

      Awww indeed. ^_^

  2. Mr. Random

    She’s in bed with big business.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Is that what Walky calls his weiner now?

      1. Tunaro

        I believe he calls it Mr. Weiner Pointer.

      2. sps48

        I watched a recorded South Park earlier, and now you have “wiener wiener wiener” going through my head again.

        1. pyrophobia

          Floppy weiners floppy weiners floppy –

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          I didn’t watch South Park for years – so your “wiener wiener wiener” sounds like a wiener version of the “Badger Song” for me.

        3. Kelly

          Mushroom, Mushroom?

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          Snake, a snake!

      3. Yotomoe

        Oh my god. From now on I’m calling my weiner Big Business.

        1. badmartialarts

          This isn’t personal, it’s just business….Lord Business.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I may never read news headlines quite the same way again, eg: “Obama urges ‘Big Business’ to help long-term unemployed “

        3. JustCheetoDust

          Because calling it “Too Big To Fail” is just incredibly egotistical.

        4. ninja_jesus

          Any nickname that’ll invoke karmic irony on my junk would be out of bounds for me. Like, a weiner with the nickname “Too Big To Fail” is just asking to be hit with erectile dysfunction.

        5. N0083rP00F

          Or size 4 UGGS.

        6. Legasher

          After an Order of the Stick strip, I thought it would be funny to refer to it as the “Trouser Titan.” My SO didn’t really get it. Awkward…

        7. sps48

          You call it the…

        8. Legasher

          I think you meant “Oze ktpp ja asf-“

        9. Leorale

          Business time!
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqZcYPEszN8

    2. Khaner

      I wouldn’t call Walky “Big,” unless your standards are low.

      1. Tunaro

        Does your thing hang low/
        Does it wobble to and fro?
        Can you rock the bed/
        With what ya got to go?

        1. AgentKeen

          And of course my mind still fills in ‘Can you tie it in a knot?’, which makes me wince.

        2. Jen Aside

          Thanks, you two, for reminding me of that stupid Hanes commercial for briefs. [“Do your boys hang low?” etc.]

  3. Opus the Poet

    Awww!

  4. Plasma Mongoose

    Joyce wants to hear all the dirty fucking details.

    1. GoldStarz

      Joyce would explode from that classification of knowledge, that’s why Dorothy is going around that stuff.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Me thinks that Joyce is willing to risk her mind been blown.

        1. Yotomoe

          In fact, she wants to learn more about blowing things.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s all about lip-placement in the end.

        3. Jen Aside

          Lip-SERVICE, surely?!

        4. Ocbrad1

          Appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

        5. SpacyRicochet

          I still want to know where’s Jen Aside’s gravatar is from and if it’s canon in this webcomic.

        6. John

          Kickstarter incentive and sadly no, I believe.

    2. newllend

      She just stands there, “Don’t stop keep going you were getting to the good part.”

    3. Khaner

      Literally

    4. Yotomoe

      When does the creme come out of the ding-dong!?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Sometimes sooner than you expect. :3

        1. Rowanmikaio

          That’s not a comment I’d usually associate with a smiley face…

  5. newllend

    Damn Walky you are SO lucky you picked the right words.

  6. Vile Gamer

    #Dorothy4President
    #Walky4Congress

    1. Doctor_Who

      Actually, Walky’s plans sound more like #Walky4Dictator4Life.

      1. Gigafreak

        #Walky4Dicktator

    2. newllend

      #Mike4governor

      1. Doctor_Who

        #YourMom4ANickel

        1. Betty Anne

          #HeresYourInternet

  7. Khaner

    Today, I don’t have to say, “Damn you Willis!”
    I can say, “Thank you Willis”

    1. lejwocky

      Ma ha nei bu, Willis!

    2. Legasher

      No! Stop! Now he has to make it that much worse when it all comes crashing down. Way to go.

      1. Deathjavu

        The buffer’s through what, June now? I can pretty safely guarantee there’s something emotionally devastating in the pipe that Willis has already written.

        1. lejwocky

          Maybe the Soviet Union and Nicaraguans invade.

        2. Legasher

          Well… the first appearance of Amazi-girl was Oct 21, 2010… so she’s been self destructing for three and a half real-time years… I don’t think he’s got that big a buffer… though I try not to make assumptions about people’s buffers…

  8. Tunaro

    So Dorothy want’s to be President and Walky want’s to be a Supervillain?

    1. Yotomoe

      Aren’t those synonomous?

      1. Lilly

        Only if you’re Lex Luthor.

    2. sps48

      Joe is Number 2.

    3. KingMabel

      How did you get Supervillian from a shark pit?

      I got lawyer.

      1. Tunaro

        There’s a difference?

        1. MM

          The lawyers live in the shark pit.

        2. Ocbrad1

          As long as whatever lives in there has frikkin lasers!

        3. -Sentinel-

          You should read To Kill a Mockingbird.

        4. Tunaro

          Dog < Shark < Lawyer?

        5. No Name

          Scout’s dad was the exception, not the rule.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Lawyers are just RegularVillains, not Supervillains. Unless the lawyer had superpowers which would make him/her an UltimaVillain.

        1. tinfoil theory

          Like Daredevil.

    4. Drunken Nordmann

      President and supervillain can’t be synonymous – supervillains have actual power.

      1. Lilly

        Lex Luthor disagrees with you.

    5. Jerden

      That would be great for their relationship – they can spend quality time together when Walky kidnaps Dorothy as part of a sinister scheme to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

  9. Hoboturtle

    “Veevees” and “dingdongs” actually her nicknames for them neither, that’s what she believes they are truly called.

    1. Yotomoe

      Those sound like delicious snack cakes.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Well DingDongs were a Hostess brand before Hostess folded. Not sure about anything named VeeVee though.

        1. Yotomoe

          Y’know Hostess is back,right?

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I was going to comment on my findings regarding “Veevees” (read: Goggle Image search for “vagina cake”) but I bailed on that after image #3 looked like a Caucasian version of newborn Petey Wheatstraw pulling himself out of a vat of cherry cobbler.

      2. Jay Eff

        @Yotomoe “Delicious Snack Cakes,” you say??
        http://howiecat.tumblr.com/post/81965934517

    2. Jay Eff

      Yeah, her nicknames for them are actually “Vajayjays” and “Peepers.”

  10. Doctor_Who

    Joyce looks perplexed. No mention of tummies at all.

    1. Yotomoe

      So you’re telling me it’s not handheld?

      1. newllend

        I bet he follow up question would be something like “so how do I use a condom, do I eat it ?”

  11. addude

    Well Walky does believe she will be president

  12. VizardJeffhog

    I didn’t expect the gratuitous order of heartwarming, but god damn am I taking it.

    1. newllend

      Random wasn’t it?

  13. Wonder Wig

    You remember the first time you plugged a power chord into an apple computer but it was magnetic and it was perfect and you were pleasantly surprised?

    1. Khantalas

      Oh man I just wish sex felt that good.

      1. HeinousActsZX

        I love your avatar.

    2. StClair

      Power chords are for guitars.
      Power cords are for computers. (And also guitars, I suppose.)

      1. Pope William T Wodium

        I was actually confused by that for a few seconds.

        1. John

          I’m confused by anything from Apple being perfect or pleasantly surprising.

  14. JnZooer

    Just have to put this out there…

    THEM EYEBROWS THO

    1. TBeckett

      The real reason for the ‘uh-ohs:’ their eyebrows just flew off their faces and they are worried about life without them.

  15. Dr. Zeus

    Shark pit eh? So does that make Dorothy an evil President, a President with an evil husband or President who has to fight her evil ex-boyfriend?

    1. Yotomoe

      All presidents need to have at least one shark pit. It’s in the Constitution.

      1. Dr. Zeus

        But if he said his….
        D’aww matching hers and his shark pits, how sweet.

      2. Tunaro

        Walky would be the best First Lady ever.

        1. Opus the Poet

          First Gentleman would be the correct term.

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          I thought there was no valid term for female president’s husbands because they’re still more of an exception? Some anglophone newspapers tried to find a term to describe our chancellor’s husband a few years back but they gave up after noticing that nobody cared about that.

        3. abstract_reg

          Lets just take gender out of it and call them First Mate.

        4. Tunaro

          If ya did that Walky’d try to mutiny just for the Hell of it.

        5. John

          For Walky, I’m going with “First Dude”.

          And Joyce would be best First Lady.

      3. Roborat

        Don’t forget the head mounted lasers.

    2. brionl

      There is a swimming pool in the basement of the White House. It could easily be repurposed to a shark pit.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Why stop there? Camp David needs a shark pit, too!

    3. Robin

      And now I want a Scott Pilgrim/DoA crossover.

  16. Seerow

    That is possibly the sweetest thing Walky ever said to anybody without realizing it.

  17. ShadowWing Tronix

    Well that’s one way to look at it, I guess. Whatever keeps Walky’s head attached. (Either one.)

  18. Yotomoe

    Also I’m redoing that Comic I did the other day so look out for that tonight!!!

    1. Yotomoe

      http://i.imgur.com/5Fh2bnJ.png

      Halfway there!

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        Yotomoe, fanartist extraordinaire.

      2. begbert2

        Because licky-style deserves nothing but the best!

  19. Plasma Mongoose

    “You know how when you try to insert a USB plug into a socket and you turn it around, try again, turn once more and then it fits in? It’s a bit like that really.”

    1. Dr. Zeus

      Okay, I have to like to this after that comment.
      http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2697

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That comic works so well it’s even more relevant than even this comic.

        http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2388

        1. Totally not a murderer in disguise

          You always have it right the first time, but think its wrong and do it wrong instead.

          Does that mean we all have a bit of Danny in us?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Possibly, that or USB cables really do operate in 4 dimensions.

        3. John

          Dorothy’s the only one around here who’s had a bit of Danny in her.

        4. Deathjavu

          I’ve actually put the USB drive in correctly first try, and then promptly removed it out of habit. >_<

          Sadly, the next generation of USB cables is going to be reversible, putting to rest any and all variations of this joke. RIP USB never fitting jokes, our children will never understand the continuous minor inconvenience you provided.

  20. Fluffy

    Joe and Walky getting along =D
    Well, that’s strangely touching =D

  21. Ragnal

    Here I thought Dorothy was gonna deck ‘im. But, well, when someone believes you’re gonna be president, it doesn’t matter.

    …so what was so different about what Danny said back on the first day and what Walky’s saying now?

    1. March

      She’s into Walky right now and not Danny?

      Hey, you tend to have a type.

      1. Jelli

        Well, Danny did qualify it as “when you’re the President or whatever” and then immediately followed it up with “but maybe you’ll change your mind and stay here!” Not a whole lot of a faith show in Dorothy’s future plans, there.

        1. March

          Oh yeah…I forgot what an asshole Danny was about that shit. So yeah, maybe it’s just, “Walky isn’t a jackass about my goals, nor does he write me around his dreams”.

        2. Ragnal

          That sounds like the explanation I needed. Thank you.

    2. astraea

      Walky isn’t clingy? Don’t forget Danny was implying they’d both be working in the White House, meaning he would follow her every step of the way, in clingy fashion. Walky isn’t assuming they’ll be together that long, but he values her and her company all the same. He isn’t tying up his future in hers, but he still believes in her.

      1. David M Willis

        A+

        1. astraea

          Thank you 🙂

        2. Drakey

          Mister Willis, that is the best I have ever seen your little avatar-thingy fit one of your comments.

      2. Tom T.

        However realistic it may be, though, not everyone will appreciate the assertion that their relationship won’t last, let alone treat it as a romantic thought.

        1. timemonkey

          Except Dorothy told him right off the bat that she was out of there asap. He’s merely showing he’s actually listening to her and isn’t relying on her for his future ambitions.

      3. Fit-to-freak

        This is a lovely comment.

    3. No Name

      About three years? Remember, Dorothy and Walky are just starting, and I’m sure Danny said much the same things Walky is now. The difference is that Danny became a millstone around Dorothy’s neck, while Walky is actively avoiding such a fate as we deliberate, if only to keep his macho intact.

      1. begbert2

        And by “millstone around Dorothy’s neck” we mean “romantic and loyal”. Admittedly his way of expressing it was a little ahead of itself (being more the sort of behavior you expect once a loving couple turns seventy), but when you look at it all Danny did wrong was fail to turn cold and dump Dorothy when she got tired of him – and make one single comment that failed to present Dorothy as the sole center of the universe.

        1. Jürgen Hubert

          No, he refused to acknowledge that Dorothy has dreams and aspirations which might be incompatible with his own. In that, he disrespected her.

          Dorothy never asked Danny to make her “the sole center of the universe”. She didn’t ask him to accompany her to this college, and in fact tried to dissuade him. Danny wouldn’t listen, and thus the situation was his fault.

        2. David M Willis

          Trying to talk sense to begbert about Dorothy is like trying to talk sense to Lex Luthor about Superman.

        3. Gigafreak

          …So that means bergbert will be president and Dorothy won’t?

        4. begbert2

          Funny thing is, I don’t have a real problem with Dorothy in general. Yes, she’s selfish and short-sighted and inconsistent, but she’s a freaking teenager. We don’t expect perfection and brilliance from teenagers; that’s just silly. Well, unless the teenager is DANNY, in which case he is held responsible for all his failures, and all Dorothy’s failures, and all Amber’s failures, and possibly Joe, Roz, and Mary’s failures too. It’s all his fault, somehow.

          That’s the part that really cheeses me off, see. It’s not that Dorothy got tired of being with Daniel, or even that she didn’t bother to tell him this until after she knowingly let him follow her to college. It’s that he’s the one that gets called a “millstone around Dorothy’s neck” for the whole affair. Sorry suckers, Dotty’s not a perfect Mary Sue no matter how much you want her to be, or how much you want to dump shit on Danny. Dorothy’s made mistakes too, and, yes, Danny has done things that were, if not right, at least reasonable and well-meaning.

        5. David M Willis

          you are super creepy about dorothy dude

        6. begbert2

          If you say so.

        7. Lel

          ‘Danny is love, Danny is life’ – begbert

        8. No Name

          I never said Dorothy was perfect. Neither did I say Danny was a perfect failure. Both have problems, both have dreams, both are teenagers. I don’t like how Danny always gets the short end in the comments section myself, because I see that he has a Freudian excuse: his parents outright told him Dorothy was a keeper and when he told them she dumped him, they immediately assumed it was his fault. Heck, Willis himself said the Wilcoxen could not outright compliment Danny. Danny has problems, and needs a better relationship than the emotionally uptight (at the time) and extremely ambitious Dorothy could provide. And since Danny couldn’t or wouldn’t take the hint, he hung on for three years and ruined his chances of a relationship with her. Dorothy had to break his heart because her subtle nudges weren’t working.

        9. timemonkey

          What Danny failed to do was acknowledge and respect Dorothy’s wishes and feelings. Being romantic is fine and dandy but not when completely ignore everything the other person is saying to you and then passively aggressively indicate you think they should give up on their goals to live out your poorly thought out romantic fantasy.

          Contrast Danny’s treatment of Dorothy’s goals and stated boundries and Walky’s treatment of the same and it’s very clear why Walky’s a better match for her.

          Hell, Danny basically did the same thing with his relationship with Amazi-Girl, even encouraging her not to tell him anything about herself so he could live out his fantasy without reality getting in the way.

        10. KKoro

          Without seeing himself as part of her life, bragging that she could be the president comes off more flippant — he’s not really investing himself in that, so what does it matter?

          As far as what danny said, what i know is for the things that everyone around me told me i could excel at (primarily suggested by my dad), if i didnt do perfectly i freaked out and began contemplating suicide (somewhat similar, but more extreme, to dorotht missing class). For the things where peope were proud of me for doing well, but made it clear they would still love me regardless (pretty similar to danny), i felt way more accomplished for succeeding, and not nearly as bad for falling short.

          I dont know if perspective is an issue for the readers castigating danny, or even the author, but as someone who grew up similar to dorothy, comments like walkys are why i sometimes cry myself to sleep for “only” being an engineer, while comments like danny’s are why sometimes i dont feel like a worthless piece of shit.

          And maybe im just fucked in the head, but it means i have a hard time hating danny or understanding why dorothy reacted so offended. After all, my stuff was mixed in with constant criticism for not being the best, so maybe my ego just isnt as defensive as dorothy.

        11. KKoro

          S/b “for what its worth”, not “after all”

        12. fit-to-freak

          I mean, how ever flippant of a comment it might be, it clearly matters to Dorothy.

          There’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. It makes perfect sense. But it also make sense that Dorothy feels the way she does, given what we know about her as a character. Dorothy puts pressure on herself personally to achieve this goal, and generally wants that goal respected and taken seriously.

          Danny…didn’t really do this. Its not a case of this being the only correct approach for anyone (I mean obviously, as it’s not ideal for me or you or many other people) but it’s the correct approach for Dorothy. And Danny either ignored this or didn’t know this about her in the first place. Neither things speak positively about their relationship or Danny attachment to her.

          I mean Danny’s young, people mess up relationships. And I expect that he’ll grow and change with time. It’s not the end of the world, but he didn’t handle things appropriately.

        13. 3oranges

          One single comment that didn’t make Dorothy the center of the universe…from a guy who you’re saying was being romantic and loyal, what at first glance looks like he was making her the center of his universe.

          Did you miss what that mismatch showed? Here we saw for sure: Danny might have been romantic and loyal to something, but it wasn’t actually to Dorothy as a person. She’s made mistakes, but seeing that this wasn’t a relationship with real respect for her wasn’t one of them.

        14. fit-to-freak

          nah

    4. Beige

      Danny both insinuated dorothy wasn’t going to make it, suggessted she’d be happier giving up and even then said outright they’d still be in a relationship and he’d pretty much be her shadow

      Walky is just saying she’s going to be president – showing total faith in her goal – and is implying nothing else. heck, from the wording it seems more like he’s expecting them to have broken up by then 😉

      hopefully not though. the two of them make a cute couple

      1. John

        I could totally see First Dude Walky telling foreign heads of state that he totally banged the President when she was just a young hot college student.

      2. Fit-to-freak

        I had forgotten why I wasn’t superfond of Danny… Now I remember that itsbecauseof how things went down between him and Dorothy.

  22. gangler

    That’s so sweet!

  23. Kernanator

    Walky as Galasso’s apprentice.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I would kill to see that, actually.

    2. Beige

      For everyone else’s graduation they just get a robe and a hat. Walky get’s a badass cape, power armour and the proud congratulations of lord glasso when he deposed him and stole his orginizaton through use of a shark pit

      Fear our caramel overlord

  24. SilverArrowArtemis

    Walky is so appreciative, being so sure she’ll be prez in 30 years.

    Also, WALKY, TRIANGLE MOUTH INCOMING!!

    1. newllend

      And in 30 years when she is President they’ll hook back up again and do it in the presidents office.

      1. gangler

        The shark tank is filled with a lubricant designed to be breathable to both sharks and humans. They like to have sex among the remains of those who crossed them.

        1. timemonkey

          And in the next room Danny is fixing the computers still not understanding where things went off course.

        2. begbert2

          If he ends up fixing computers in the white house, he hasn’t gone off course. By any measure that’s a pretty awesome career.

          Well, aside from having to deal with the overbearing ex, but hey, bosses. You know how it is.

        3. gangler

          By any measure except Danny’s.

          He’s very forlorn in the whitehouse because he’d rather be working with his beloved wife. They’re both in jobs they don’t really like right now raising money so she can start up a business of her own. Just five more years of this and then they can spend their entire days together.

          It’d be easier if she didn’t already have three kids of her own from a previous marriage, but he’d never wish for that. He loves those kids. He helps them with their homework. Last week the youngest one called him “dad” for the first time, and he was super proud.

          He talks to Dorothy about his family a lot, and she’s very happy for him. Likes to sneak him a Christmas Bonus that’s a little bit bigger than is strictly professional to help move the dream along.

          Walky and Dorothy both use their own work to support eachother’s work. You can be the president who’s a little unprofessional at times when you have that kind of relationship with a supervillain.

        4. Bill

          But do the sharks have frickin’ laser beams on their heads?

  25. Count Dracula

    Ignoring the obvious, this is also one of the only strips where Joe is nice to Walky (usually he’s neutral to dismissive). I WONDER WHY.

    1. tinfoil theory

      Vicarious sex..

  26. March

    I feel bad for Joyce, in a weird way. I don’t feel bad about her faith, or anything, because there’s nothing wrong with that, but I do feel bad that her parents’ dogma has left her so ignorant of her own body and sex when that is something she should know everything about. Joyce might not have sex until marriage, but she should know what sex is, what her own body is telling her, her own needs, and that it is nothing to be scared of. She should know what consent means, what feels good, everything, simply because it is her body.

    I really hope Dorothy or Sarah (or Billy, even) can help her learn these things, with her going at her own pace with it, no matter how she decides to use the information.

    1. No Name

      One can only hope. I am honestly surprised she got this close to the “Precipice of Worldview Collapse” I mentioned earlier without falling to her doom.

      1. March

        Well, I don’t think Joyce is quite like her parents, in some sense. She is religious, yes, but she’s a logical young person, and I think she can learn to reconcile her faith with the truths of the world. She might be perfectly content to wait until marriage/her one, without faltering, but I think she can eventually work her way up to knowing just what sex will be/should be and knows what she should get from sex when it happens.

        It might take her a bit though.

        1. Maveric1984

          Especially if her friends keep talking about cartoons instead of telling her details like “penis goes in vagina repeatedly & it feels really good”. The poor girl doesn’t even know that much yet!

        2. drs

          They just need to show her the right cartoons.

          I know someone who said she learned how to masturbate from La Blue Girl.

        3. Maveric1984

          You mean that poor person can’t masturbate without tentacles & penises larger around than most peoples’ thighs?

        4. Bill

          I can imagine a Joyce who becomes knowledgeable about what sex is, how it’s done, and why it’s done in a purely clinical sense, but at this point I still can’t visualize her becoming one of the “if it feels good do it” crowd.

    2. begbert2

      Not that she would understand how sex feels any better if her parents had described it to her. The true crime is the denial of the one true educator: internet porn.

      1. timemonkey

        Internet porn is a masterbatory tool, not in any way shape or form something that should be used to educate someone on how sex actually works.

        1. Bill

          Watching porn on the internet may teach you the mechanics of the act, i.e. what goes where and why, but a pair of anatomically correct Barbie and Ken dolls would do the same thing and not give one such warped ideas about the rest of what makes a relationship.

        2. Leorale

          Agreed — it’d be like trying to learn basic social interactions solely from Kabuki theater. Highly stylized, not accurate.

        3. StClair

          “But where do the face paint and the bright red wigs fit in?”

        4. Deathjavu

          Now all I can think of is clown porn.

          I’m 99% certain it exists, but my curiosity just isn’t strong enough to go verify.

  27. Tess

    Awwwwwwwwwwww

  28. caesaria82

    Dorothy in that last panel, sooo friggin cuuuuuteeee omg.

    1. begbert2

      Joyce in that last panel, sooo friggin boooooored…

  29. Gram91

    Wow, Walky found the right string of words to impress Joe and make Dorothy impressed. I could not think of another way to do that.

    1. Gram91

      “Dorothy happy” I don’t know how I keep doing that.

  30. Next Strip...

    Ding-Dongs and Veevees

  31. Davethedavedave

    Dorothy is just an avatar for “best girlfriend ever.”
    …
    …

    I’m okay with that. She’s a *very well written* avatar.

    1. begbert2

      Well, best girlfriend for Walky, anyway.

  32. Lizardizzle

    Daaang that went well.

  33. Baker

    Based off the hover text Joyce may be considering getting a Slipshine subscription since Dorothy’s explanation wasn’t sinfully explicit enough.
    Ethan is in more trouble than he thought.

    1. tinfoil theory

      Based off Dorothy’s description, it sounds like sex is exactly like watching D&MM together.
      Which is something Joyce and Dorothy have done.
      No wonder this explanation, pregnant as it is, leaves Joyce wanting for more.

  34. Beige

    Good to see Walky sticking to the previous ambition of supervillany. a goal in life will do the boy good

  35. Tealjoy

    “The ding-dong and the veevee stuff”? hahahahaha

  36. Tahkuya

    i do enjoy this moment because guy brags he porked her without her getting upset over the matter

    1. Hoodiecrow

      Because it’s not “I banged this chick and I’m awesome” but “I banged this chick and SHE’S awesome”?

      1. Hoodiecrow

        Right on, Joyce! Don’t buy the mushy!

        1. Hoodiecrow

          Duh. That was supposed to be a toplevel comment, not a reply to myself.

    2. Fit-to-freak

      This is kind of an ugh comment. Guys ‘bragging that they porked you isn’t always an okay experience. There’s often a lot of judgement and betrayal in having a sex partner talk about you behind your back. Even with comments that are intended to be complimentary, ie “she had huge t*ts”, it can make you feel more like a thing or a game than a person. Not to mention they way other guys sometimes take that as open season to make sexual comments to and about you. That’s not what’s happening here, and that’s great. But let not act like its a silly thing to ever get upset about.

      1. begbert2

        “Not to mention the way other guys sometimes take that as open season to make sexual comments about you. That’s not what’s happening here”? This is JOE. Well in a way you’re right; he already thought her had the right to treat Dorothy like a slab of meat prior to this, so technically this changes nothing.

        1. fit-to-freak

          I mean, I think ‘nice!’ is probably fine. I don’t particularly remember Joe’s past interactions with Dorothy. I can’t say positively that Joe will be an ass about this, I wasn’t really including speculation about the future in my comment. I was more trying explain why it’s unfair to judge girls for reacting negatively to these situations.

  37. Eebiot

    Odd. Walky’s and Joe’s heads in the 2nd and 4th panels only differ in their eyebrows and mouths, but the context makes it seem as though their heads and eyes have turned. A very interesting illusion.

  38. Barf Ninjason

    Dorothy is not annoyed that Walky is immediately bragging to the local vagina addict about having had sex with her, because he believes in her childish fantasy. Dorothy sometimes reminds us that despite being pretty smart and reasonable, she is in fact 18.

    1. timemonkey

      She’s discussing it with Joyce, why shouldn’t he talk to Joe about it? Joe also happens to be someone she’s friends with.

      Is there a particular reason you refer to her ambitions as childhood fantasy? Pretty disrespectful for no reason.

      1. Tom T.

        Well, saying “she’s going to grow up to be President one day” is stereotypically something one says about a smart child.

        On the other hand, calling someone “childish” is rather insulting.

        1. Bill

          Most smart kids know better than to want to become President.  If they do, it’s because it was just something along the way to power and glory.

          You know, that would be an interesting question to throw, unrehearsed and unprepared, at the candidates at a debate.  Never mind questions about foreign policy or the economy or civil rights.  Let the moderator look each candidate in the eye and ask them to tell the audience just *WHY* they want to be the person in the Oval Office.

        2. Pope William T Wodium

          You might think it would be a good question, but I guarantee you that the candidates would get back “on message” so fast it’d be like you’d never even asked.

      2. Tom T.

        “‘Cause they told me when I was younger /
        Said boy, you’re gonna be president /
        But just like everything else /
        Those old crazy dreams /
        Just kinda came and went”

      3. tinfoil theory

        Maybe because she wanted to be a president since she was a child?

        1. timemonkey

          That would be ‘childhood’ fantasy, ‘childish’ fantasy indicates it as foolish and not something serious.

      4. Barf Ninjason

        “Being the President” seems like a childish fantasy to me is all. She’s not an American aristocrat, she doesn’t seem particularly evil (and willingness to murder people for foreign policy is pretty much a requirement), and seriously, whose ambition is that they want to be the President outright? Not go into politics, or “help people out” or whatever; she wants to cut straight to being the most powerful person in the world. Might as well wish for laser eyes.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Spoken like someone who gave up on all their dreams to settle for less. Don’t worry, buddy, I’m right there with you. 🙁

          In all seriousness, though, it’s been established since day one that she’s very commited to this goal. I think you’re just being too cynical to see it as an actual possibility. 😛 Maybe she wants to be the first not-evil, not-sociopathic, intellectual and amitious female president. :O

        2. Barf Ninjason

          “Too cynical to see it as an actual possibity.” Yep, sums that up. Hm. I’m just a cynical jerk. Curse my entirely appropriate gravatar. Best of luck, fictional character.

    2. John

      She’s 19.

    3. 3oranges

      Dorothy is not annoyed that Walky is immediately bragging because he believes in her, full stop. That he treats her wildest dreams as if they were certain instead of considering all the odds against them is romantic fantasy not childish naivety. It probably doesn’t hurt that he calls her hot, either.

  39. timemonkey

    And I continue to ‘ship Dorky. Also I wonder if word will get back to Danny.

    1. begbert2

      He already knows about Dorky; they came to him begging for shoes, remember? And he’s busy enough with his own girl problems that he seems to have stopped thinking about Dorothy at all.

      1. drs

        Another problem solved by Amazi-Girl!

      2. timemonkey

        He knows about him but he had that ‘you better not already be sexing him up’ comment. Granted, Amber’s a bigger concern but it could eb a nice distraction.

        1. John

          I’m sad because Walky didn’t make it in inside that two-week Danny-jumps-out-a-window deadline.

    2. Barf Ninjason

      “Dorky” – is that newly coined? Cuz I gotta say, usually I hate all those cutesy “ship” names, but that’s freaking hilarious.

      1. timemonkey

        I can’t remember seeing it used before. I hope it catches on though.

  40. Henry

    That was… oddly heartwarming, actually.

    1. -JAD-

      I was going to say “sweet”, but your word choice is better.

      1. Trisar

        Personally, I was going to go with “heart-meltingly adorable,” but that may just be me.

  41. Shadow12000

    Dem eyebrows

  42. Well_Played

    Pretty sweet thing to say Walky. In a dudebro kinda way.

  43. S.Ai

    You know it’s all over when your eyebrows abandon you

  44. Vincent

    Joyce wants to learn about the birds and bees. And how sometimes the bees are less into veevees and more into dingdongs, and would prefer if the bird wore a rubber dingdong to put in the bee’s bumdilly.

    1. David

      I knew a Chinese secretary who, well, did not get the talk. When she returned from some train trip, she told her sister that she, well, was pregnant. Because although she tried very hard, she fell asleep while in the same compartment as a man and probably inhaled his breath in her sleep.

      Her sister then took it upon herself to explain to her how pregnancy came about. With the result that she refused talking to her parents at all after that for months because they had committed such abhorrent acts.

      I’m not sure she ever tried them herself. She got married to a man living on another continent, and they spent few weeks each year together on vacation. She/they later adopted two children from siblings (not too uncommon in China) and raised them here.

      Joyce looks considerably more vulnerable to temptation than that.

  45. saltchocolate

    Dorothy is in my pantheon of “comic strip feminists we love.”

    1. -JAD-

      Who else is there?

  46. Idon'tcarenomore

    Walky and Dorothy probably have the most stable relationship on the campus. They’re in for the fun and enjoying each other. She made it clear she’s not into long term, he listened and apparently isn’t either so no problems there.
    And in his weird way, Walky laid a damn nice compliment on her. And in her weird way, she picked up on it.
    Meanwhile, don’t think any of this is what Joyce wants to hear: probably got a version of that from her parents: “share yourself with one whom you care about and cares for you, and all with be flowers and hearts yada yada yada..: I think she wants to get down to the nitty gritty….but what do you actually DO…the mechanics, so to speak.

  47. Horrible Person

    They say Walky’s eyebrows never came down that day.

    1. Opus the Poet

      DoA-verse eyebrows are symbiotic creatures that live on people’s faces and react to their emotional state. In cases of extreme panic they leave their hosts completely, and sometimes never return. People tend to shun people without eyebrows because they are either easily scared or tend to get into situations that cause eyebrows to flee.

  48. Sporky

    It took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on in the last panel. Then I realized that Dorothy was touched by how Walky believed she really had what it took to be the president. That’s kinda sweet.

  49. Joe

    It took me a while to realize that wasn’t Joe’s leg lying on Walky’s lap. I must be more tired than I thought.

  50. Pyr05

    Nothing like the feeling of belief when your current bang-boy is bragging about how he tapped you now in the future when you’re successful.

  51. Cybersnark

    “That boy girl is going to be Hokage President someday.”

  52. Crumplepunch

    Wait, so did Walky and Joe just do a sex?

  53. Angel

    he may kiss and tell, but at least he doesn’t make her sound trashy.

  54. N0083rP00F

    Shark pits are so 1970’s. Immortal flesh eating scarabs has been done twice I think. Ravenous ants or locust swarms are hard to contain in a pit. Snakes are always fun if cliche. Cats …. no too evil. Now slime mold would be slow but terrifying when you realize it moves and will eat you oh so slowly.

    1. Jerden

      I’m guessing piranhas are too cliché… and there was a Jellyfish tank in Alex Rider… Bear pit sounds antiquated…
      How about electric eels?

      1. 3oranges

        Maybe a room with a moose?

        1. Lel

          Just wait until rutting season… then I will introduce you to your death in my MOOSE ROOM

          MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  55. AHR

    So…Dorothy and Joyce walked ahead of Walky…to find Walky in the classroom already?

    1. Schist

      Walky is, as his name suggests, really good at walking.

    2. Barf Ninjason

      Walky *does* seem like the kind of hyper-intelligent fuck-up that would have magic powers like in Lev Grossman’s The Magicians, so I assuming that “Walky secretly has magic powers” until it is proved otherwise.

    3. Heavensrun

      They also stopped outside to whisper about sex while Walky kept going.

    4. David M Willis

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/less/

      …only if you think Dorothy shut the door in Walky’s face, rather than letting both him and Joyce walk through first.

  56. Ikaru

    *laughs* Dorothy is sorta awesome that way. But Joyce is like “not answering my question”

  57. ajm5007

    I get the feeling when Joyce is all “What’s it like?” she means like, what what body parts touch what other parts and what actually physically happens during sex.

    1. Pope William T Wodium

      I’m not sure that Dorothy is aware of the true depths of Joyce’s ignorance.

  58. Megatron

    This makes me sad. I have yet to find that special someone who both trusts me and believes that I will one day vanquish prime.

    1. begbert2

      You were just born in the wrong continuity – other Megatrons had the likes of Inferno and Lugnut standing behind and supporting them. Admittedly they were both freaking insane, but then again you can’t have everything.

    2. Optimus Prime

      You reap what you sow, Megatron.

      1. Megatron

        Hey, find your own webcomic Prime!

    3. Galatine

      I believe in you, Megatron! You’ll get him someday!

    4. nothri

      Oh, I don’t think that’s true, Megatron. I think maybe you just need to take the time to notice that special someone that’s been there all along….

      Be honest with yourself. Would you have really put Starscream as your second in command if he was REALLY as apparently incompetent as he appears? Have you ever thought that maybe, deep down, all he really wants to do is get your attention? Show that he cares about your interests? That he wants your respect and admiration? I think you know the answer to these things.

  59. Jaxx Sentinel

    walky; too chill for his own good .
    banger of future presidents

  60. LiamAldam

    Hate to say this but Dorothy’s probably my least favorite character. I have no investment whatsoever in her character and the most interesting thing about her is her relationship with Walky. Things aren’t going anywhere for her fast and I get the feeling the whole President thing isn’t gonna work out but that’s never gonna come to light; therefore, everything she does has little point and isn’t as entertaining as every character around her. Oh no you missed your class, too bad the long term repercussions will never come to light.

    1. Anderhail

      Good thing you said something you hated to say then.

      1. waterbuffalo

        (burnsauce.)

  61. waterbuffalo

    AAAAWWWWWW this made me tear up a bit!

  62. The Gentleman Mummy

    In point of fact, having managed to wrangle the ditzy-lazy-funness that is Walky, why has Dorothy not thought of asking for some political career advice from Sen. DeSanto? At the very least, she at least understands a little of the “Crazy on Sugar and Pop Culture” dialect of English now…

Leave a Reply to Tess Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.