314

Questions
Posted on March 15, 2016 by David M Willis
Hooray!  The Dumbing of Age Book 5 Kickstarter reached $50k, meaning everybody who pledges for a paper book (versus a PDF) will get a free Amber magnet.  That's pretty sweet.

314 thoughts on “Questions”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    kinda figures what would make privileged folk board the Equality Train is the threat of violence

    [j/k some of them wouldn’t even then]

    1. Jacket

      So how do you show up this quick, anyway?

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Y’know, I’m beginning to think that Ana Chronistic is Willis himself, under a pseudonym. How else could the remark always appear first and almost simultaneously with the posting of the strip?

        1. Wolf

          OR someone close to Willis. Like his half-neighbor-teacher-cousin!

        2. gkheyf

          is that an indiana thing?

        3. Wolf

          Hell if I know.

          I read a Stephen King book, though…started exactly like this.

        4. Amazi-Girl impersonator

          OMG I read that one too!

        5. RP

          Seriously? Which book?

        6. Roborat

          All of them.

        7. Clif

          Every one.

        8. nothri

          But if we go by that logic, shouldn’t we be able to keep you at bay with an inhaler?

        9. ObiKemnebi

          Yes. Yes it is. Except one neighbor-teacher was an uncle, and the other was a second cousin once removed. I’m pretty sure I’m related to 90% of the population of that one cow town 😛

        10. Bagfaceman

          Or his fathers brothers nephews cousins former room mate?

        11. Rowen Morland

          Obviously Ana is Willis’ Machete.

        12. Mr. Random

          If you comment on an old strip, where no one can notice, you can figure out the delay between server and your host pretty well, down to the second even. Then by supporting Willis on Patreon, and therefore getting access to the strip earlier than most, you can write your own comment ahead of time.
          When the time comes, you simply copy and paste your comment, the second the strip goes live, based on the delay for the server to activate at midnight.
          It takes some doing, but defeating Ana and Sue, and even Gen is possible.

        13. trlkly

          Except the comic doesn’t go up at Midnight. It goes up around 12:04-ish.

          (One night, I was actually up, and set the page to refresh every 15 seconds until there was a comic.)

        14. ObiKemnebi

          It goes up at X:02, for me… *refreshed literally every second and a half and stole all the wi-fi to know the exact time*

      2. Abel Undercity

        It involves an accident with an RSS feed and a time machine. We don’t talk about it.

        1. Reltzik

          We used to talk about it, and then it happened, and as a result we never did talk about it.

          … no, I’m not talking about it now, I’m talking about talking about it, or rather talking about not talking about it.

        2. Deanatay

          My God, this means…

          Sue Aside is Ana Chronistic the Second, and Jen Aside is Ana Chronistic the Third… Who was Ana before that???

        3. Amazi-Stool

          A close relative of Tim and Spes!

        4. Ana Chronistic

          TRUE FACTS: it was Sue Nami

      3. Ana Chronistic

        TOP SECRET: I use Augmented Reaction mode

    2. Reltzik

      I thought the threat of violence was how some privileged people keep the Equality Train from leaving the station.

      1. Cerberus

        Too real.

        1. Bagfaceman

          Too true

    3. cricricri13

      Kinda figures that if you HAVE to use violence. Then you’re freaking doing it WRONG.

      It’s not about your ideas: it’s about how you defend them. Seriously, I fight creatards and flat earthers all the time, so it’s not like I don’t get wanting to punch someone in the face. But don’t do it. That just makes you look like the biggest problem in the room.

      1. weirderthanweird

        I like frustrating people with how I argue until they’re angrier than me. Generally by continuously asking why-type questions. If they start getting aggressive, it means I won the argument because that usually indicates they can no longer defend their opinion. I’m fairly certain someone’s going to hit me someday.

        Note: I only do this if someone’s being really obnoxious about their opinions. With more reasonable people, I genuinely like hearing opposing ideas because they may have a reasoning I’ve not thought of before.

        1. trlkly

          No, it just indicates that you’re using dishonest tactics and trying to make them angry. When you’re angry, it’s harder to think straight.

          You just indicated that you are the very type of person you say you’re arguing with. Except they may be doing it accidentally.

          You are, flat out, trolling.

        2. Liliet

          To be fair, trolling is fun.

          But yeah, it does not indicate you are right at all.

          Still. Fun.

          (I used to hang out on a very well-moderated discussion forum, and there were two people there who were very good at driving you up the wall with their discussion tactics without strictly speaking doing anything wrong. THe best time I ever had was when I found an argument between those two. It was glorious and amazing, and I actually saved it to my computer to reread in times of trouble.
          Trolling is an art. It just is a very obnoxious form of it.)

        3. Jhon

          Social Justice Troll?

  2. Jacket

    *Plays “Yasa… Yasashii Kimowhat?” on the Hacked Muzak*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnfgNBVUN9U

    1. Vagabond J

      That is a horrible choise. I’d go with your old shenanigans.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ5tx2G4foY

      1. DarkoNeko

        As long as it’s not sore ga ai deshou

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Friggin’ Pony Canyon is denying the USA some excellent soundtracks.

    2. Dallas

      Look. Jacket, if you want to put some anime crap into this “Hacked Muzak” you stole, you should at least know the name of the song.

      Here’s “Hitori Ja Nai Yo,” a song more fitting for what you’re interpreting.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBYW7m5TjY4

      1. syd

        Sound familiar?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og9lJbWKqb8

        Sorry I couldn’t find one that ends abruptly after ten seconds…

        1. Amazi-Girl impersonator

          Yes. That does sound familiar.

          That sound reminds me of the time when Wolf and I robbed that bank with that crazy guy… I think his name was Trevor or something? Franklin?

          There were other guys too, but I forget their names. One guy had a sweet goatee, though.

    3. Willoughby Chase

      Requiem for a Dream

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7btwgRwudo

  3. Yotomoe

    Stand Walky in the hand! Make them Identical Twins!

    1. Cacturne

      Amazi Girl has knives in her boots now.

      1. lejwocky

        I misread that. Time to peruse some Giger paintings.

    2. Jay Eff

      Stand Walky in the hand?
      How many ORAORAORA’s will that even take??

      .

      I know that was a typo, but I couldn’t resist…

      1. Yotomoe

        Considering how strong and fast star platinum is, it’d literally only take one.
        Of course Walky’s hand would just be obliterated off of his wrist.

      2. DarkoNeko

        I almost snorted my coffee out, god damn you

    3. nothri

      So is the double post about identical twins a hilarious coincidence or brilliant comedic timing? And if it is a coincidence, will Yotomoe admit it? Survey says….!

    4. Mr k

      You need to stab him somewhere else to make him more like Sal…

      1. de Combys

        So, women are basically like men except that they lack something amiright?

        1. TheNinthShader

          Penis!

        2. NotPiffany

          That comment works with your avatar entirely too well.

    5. Strangeshapes

      You know, Walky is actually the best one to talk to Amazi-Girl about what was really going on with Sal, and why Amber needs to stop thinking of asap as a two-dimensional monster. There’s a lot of promise in this conversation, if he doesn’t Walky it up.

      1. Clif

        Waiting for the moment she realizes that Dorothy’s boyfriend is Sal’s twin.

  4. Yotomoe

    Stab Walky in the hand! Make them Identical Twins!

    1. nothri

      …..She’d have to remove other parts for them to be identical….

      1. Someone

        thank you for that horrific mental image

        1. Doctor_Who

          Add a few bits too. Amazi-Girl will have to switch majors and study cosmetic surgery to make this work.

        2. Mr k

          If Walky wants a chest like Sal, he needs to eat more McNuggets.

        3. lejwocky

          Pff, gene editing or bust

        4. butting

          I think you mean “gene editing FOR bust”

        5. a snow ʍousɐ

          +1

        6. Reltzik

          No she doesn’t. She already knows how. Remember, Amazi-Girl is prepared for anything, and that must by definition include performing sex-change surgery.

        7. nothri

          Oh come on. Is the thought of Sal with short hair really that horrible a thing to think about?

        8. Chris2315

          Eh, would be easier to just grow Walky’s hair out.

        9. Yotomoe

          http://i.imgur.com/mYreLrH.png Flip a coin.

        10. Machine of Slight Discomfort

          That is… unsettling.

        11. Bagge

          If you choose wrongly, you’ll end up with a looser who scores bad at math tests.

        12. Deanatay

          The hair of the one on the right kinda makes him look like Becky… IT’S A TRAP!! DON’T KILL EITHER OF THEM!!

        13. DarkoNeko

          oh my

        14. insomniac

          Eh, either or both is good.

        15. Xelgaex

          Porque no los dos?

        16. Disloyal Subject

          Weird. I read that in Walky and Sal’s voices overlaid by Hikaru and Kaoru’s, Legion-style.

        17. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Why are there two Beckys now?

        18. Reltzik

          Massive sugar consumption. High-frequency Becky vibration caused Becky to split into two.

        19. Clif

          This is a well known scientific principle.

        20. Spencer

          It’s part of the seminal Dumbing of Age storyline, The Becky of Two Earths, which reintroduced the Shortpacked crew as DoA’s Earth 2 doppelgangers.

          Things kinda became a mess and we ended up getting Crisis on Infinite Universities out of it.

        21. thejeff

          You think he’s kidding, don’t you?

        22. Amazi-Stool

          Joyce triangle-smile!
          It’s contagious!

      2. de Combys

        What’s with this comment trend? Please, someone explain to me how a butchered penis is similar to a vulva.

        1. Cerberus

          Uhhh… http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/SRSlink.html (initial link’s SFW, but clicking the Enter on that page most definitely is not)

          Also, this thread is starting to get slightly uncomfortable.

        2. Sunny

          Pretty interesting read.

    2. tim gueguen

      You’re confusing this with Blaster Nation, where for weeks people were anticipating seeing how one of the secondary characters lost an arm.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        That was a fun wait, at least until the arguments over whether Logan, Matt, or neither was in the right got stale.

  5. Dana

    If I share will you pretend I don’t look like her?

    1. gkheyf

      she still doesn’t know that, huh? other than him making the corners of her brain burn, she still hasn’t linked him to miss biker-gang mcstab o’target

      1. DarkoNeko

        oh that’s gonna be glorious when she makes the connection.

  6. Dara

    COOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

    COOKIES AND ROOFTOPS AND BARELY-CONTAINED VIOLENCE

    BEST DAY IS BEST

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      Amazi-Girl does not Cookie. She can, however be Cookied.

      1. Stephen R. Bierce

        http://www.toywonders.com/productcart/pc/catalog/5102d.jpg <- Meanwhile, I'm working on another project involving the Amazi-Kart and other vehicles. Stay tuned.

      2. Wolf

        Amazi-Girl is immune to bakeicism.

    2. Sporky

      Cookies and rooftops and barely-contained violence. These are a few of my favorite things

  7. nothri

    “I don’t really see the need to stab you as well.”

    “….I meant the cookies.”

    “Ah. Yes. Of course. By all means.”

  8. Bicycle Bill

    Y’know, I’m beginning to think that Ana Chronistic is Willis himself, under a pseudonym.  How else could the remark always appear first and almost simultaneously with the posting of the strip.

    1. Someone

      If its anyone its Maggie

    2. Peduncle

      You seem to be assuming that “David M Willis” is his real name.

    3. tim gueguen

      Their remarked didn’t appear first a couple of strips back.

    4. Jay Eff

      Ana Chronistic is definitely not Willis.
      Nor is she Maggie.
      I know who she really is.
      I’ve for longer than some of you can imagine.

      But I’ll never tell.

      *COUGHShesHermoineGrangerUsingMagicToPostCommentsFirstObviouslyCOUGH*

      1. Jay Eff

        [continued from my previous post:)
        rstCOUGH*

        whoops, guess that line was a li’l too long…

    5. David M Willis

      Look, Ana posts even before I get here.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Sure “she” does… 😀

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        So Ana is a forerunning time-ghost of you?

      3. Xelgaex

        Obviously, Ana is the Hiveworks’ resident AI.

        1. Lamia M.

          Headcanon accepted.

    6. AgentKeen

      Nah, I see it without comment sometimes, though I’m not fast enough to also read the strip and type something.

      1. Uniqueantique

        Just for the heck of it, I tried just saying hi without reading the comic first, and stalking the moment it flipped….never have beat Anna.
        Don’t really care, but it is kinda spooky 🙂

    7. Reltzik

      I’m sticking with my super-fast strong AI theory.

    8. Random832

      The theory only has value if Willis posts the strip manually – the fact that the time is so consistent (and that it’s – at least, Ana’s comment isn’t) never before midnight is an argument against that (unless Willis is a robot).

      1. Ntrovert60

        Willis is not a bot.

        A Transformer, perhaps, but not a garden variety bot…

  9. Reflex76

    Cookies, stabbing, same difference.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Two great tastes that go great together!

  10. Marie

    I want her to open up to the stranger to vent, and Walky to realize it’s his sister (as if he’s not already scared in the last panel).

    1. neeks

      yeah, i really appreciate the irony(?) of the fact that they’re both avoiding sharing things (stabs and cookies) with the same individual. small world!

    2. -Sentinel-

      Yep. It’s high time for the Sal and Amber situation to move forward.

  11. Leorale

    Oh hey, AG is against stabbing Sal (again)! Progress!

    1. Orion Fury

      I rather liked the beat too.

  12. Cheshrin

    Nothing tops off a heaping helping of emotional trauma and an inability to deal with one’s own anger like a nice hot batch of Race-Based Favoritism Cookies!

    (Now part of a societally imbalanced breakfast.)

    1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      Best sales pitch ever.

    2. John

      Racism cookies that rightfully should have gone to your nemesis.

      1. Orion Fury

        She may have been traumatized for life, but at least she gets the last cookie.

  13. Skizz

    What is this “share” of which you speak?

  14. Vangeln

    ‘We can share them with your other self too’.

  15. Rodimiss

    Man, if they knew they were talking about the same person, “the one I should have shared cookies with” “the one I almost stabbed again.”

    Does Amber know that Walky is Sal’s brother? I’m not sure that their circles have overlapped enough for that, but if Amber knows it would be interesting if Walky talked about his sis a bit, gave Amber another side to see. But that would also hinge on Walky expressing feelings, which isn’t really something he likes to do.

    1. Cattleprod

      walky+amber brings up 9 results, walky+amazi-girl brings up 16, and a lot of those they’re in different scenes or it’s the time Walky and Dorothy are chasing Amazi-Girl, so they’ve had almost no interaction where they actually talk.

    2. a snow mous e

      I wonder if that’s Willis’s plan. Walky talks about his sister, and AmaziGirl has no idea who that is, but she starts empathizing with the tough life his sister has faced. Then she realizes that it’s Sal, and she panics, but eventually decides to try burying the hatchet, and even forgiving Sal if at all possible.

      1. Lamia M.

        I’m not expecting such a well-adjusted response from Amazigirl/Amber but this is definitely something I’m hoping for. Not full forgiveness, because Sal did give her trauma, but understanding and a cessation of the desire for stabbing, maybes.

        1. Clif

          It also depends on where she buries the hatchet.

        2. Kalosec

          Hopefully not in Sal

        3. Spencer

          I don’t think either of them are ever going to get friendly with one another. Sal took Amber’s best friend hostage with a knife and Amber actually stabbed Sal.

          Ultimately, though, I do think Sal will prove instrumental in Amber eventually moving to more positive ways of dealing with her anger and her DID. I’m not even sure if she hates Sal specifically, but more the idea of Sal in her head as the Cause of Trauma and Fear that Amber sees her as.

    3. Amazi-Stool

      She does not, but there’s just something about him that sets the corners of her brain on fire.

      1. Cerberus

        Oh shit, subconscious for the uh-oh.

  16. Cerberus

    So let’s see here, that’s at least twice now where the Amazi-girl alter has taken full and complete control of the body for the “greater good”.

    I think her constant pushing of her alters to separate farther and farther from each other is starting to get dangerously close to breaking what little integration and communication they have now. If the alters start to think they have to wrestle the other to the ground to get presence, things’ll get really really bad.

    And when you think of how the Amber alter is being treated more and more like a lead weight who’s not worthy like Amazi-girl, we could see the Amber alter acting out more and more in response.

    So basically, super healthy. Great coping.

    1. Whoops

      I find it interesting that she went with ‘her other self’ in this one, instead of ‘I’m not Amber!’ entirely. I don’t know if that means anything.

      1. Cerberus

        That moment could be either positive and negative.

        Positive because it could mean that the Amazi-girl alter at least is recognizing that they are two pieces of a whole, instead of just repudiating Amber’s “weakness” and “unfocused anger”.

        But also potentially negative, cause it can mean that Amazi-girl and Amber are starting to see each other as more a dark half rather than an individual to converse and engage on an equal later. “My other self” is dehumanized compared to using the other alter’s name and given the takeover happening at the same time, could be a sign that Amber is starting to lose the rough integration she had.

        1. Tan

          Alternatively, she could just be protecting her secret identity, as Walky doesn’t (or at least isn’t supposed to) know

        2. Cerberus

          Yeah, that’s probably the actual thing this means.

        3. Pat

          She can’t use Amber’s name while talking to Walky, though. Secret identity and all.

        4. Pat

          Ah, perhaps I should have refreshed the page, since I loaded it so very lng ago.

        5. a snow mous e

          I think AmaziGirl started out as a compartmentalization of her feelings rather than any real dissociative identity. However, they are beginning to dissociate, and although she can still pretty much retain control with the mask, she feels like they’re not exactly the same person. But she also knows they are the same person, just different sides of herself. Things aren’t black and white.

    2. StClair

      yup. 🙁

    3. Bagge

      Suuuuuuper healty, of course it is! Especially since the very few people who know her well enough to maybe be of some help has to spend most of their time to worry about her killing herself in a superhero stunt rather than addressing the personality split.

    4. Orion Fury

      I’ve always taken Amazi-Girl as being a coping mechanism, as a fully separate identity, with Amber as viewing her civies self as weak, but using the hero to overcome obstacles. Perhaps that could work in the short term, ala roleplay to overcome trauma, but long term?

  17. Shiro

    Chocolate chip cures everything!

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Even revolutionaries like chocolate chip cookies.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        The comic strip from whence came the line.

        1. Clif

          Also the line make this country great again.

    2. Deanatay

      Don’t think they’re chocolate chip – probably ginger snaps, like Sal got.

      1. Captain Button

        What are the inclusions for ginger snaps? I recall them being homogenous.

      2. John

        That’s Billie with the gingersnaps. Because snappish gingers are Billie’s favorite. Looks like chocolate chip is Walky’s favorite. Sal’s is probably a coupon for half-off hair straightening at the local salon.

  18. syd

    They’re the cookies you deserve, but not the cookies you need right now.

    So we’ll eat them.

  19. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Et tu, Walky?

    1. Willoughby Chase

      Beware the Ides of Amber

  20. gkheyf

    this is one of those conversations where they don’t realize that they’re talking about the same person =3

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      So will they cut a deal to exchange crimes, so that the police won’t be able to find a motive?

      1. gkheyf

        “i stabbed my sister!”
        “but this tape shows you passed out in a pile of cookie crumbs at the time of the assault.”
        “…”
        “…”
        “i stabbed her, but i definitely didn’t hog the cookies!”
        “…ok, 5 to 7 it is, then.”

      2. a snow mous e

        Strangers on a train, perhaps?

    2. Roborat

      Meanwhile, off-screen, Sal is sneezing constantly.

      1. gkheyf

        Turns out she’s allergic to Danny’s detergent

  21. Mangaseeker

    Well, that concerning

    1. Cerberus

      I don’t see why. I mean, it’s just Amber admitting she’s struggling with violent and potentially homicidal thoughts and impulses in response to a PTSD trigger that she currently is unable to even find the outer edge of to be able to handle healthier and so is coping by further pushing her alters away from each other and allowing an alter to straight up hijack her body for “the greater good”…

      So yeah, what’s there to be concerned about? Everyone’s fine. Fine and sharing happy racism cookies.

      1. StClair

        (“this is fine” dog goes here)

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        “Walkerton Cookies made on these dates have been recalled due to possible racism contamination. Return the uneaten portion for refund or replacement.”

      3. Reltzik

        At least she can recognize that stabbing Sal is a bad thing and take effective steps to prevent herself from doing it?

        Silver linings and all that.

        1. Cerberus

          That is a good silver lining. Like if the options are stab someone or let an alter hijack the body, then she chose very very wisely.

        2. Clif

          At least Walky can recognize that not sharing his cookies with Sal is a bad thing and take effective steps like going up to the roof to prevent himself from doing anything rash. Silver linings and all that.

        3. Reltzik

          A key difference there is that Amber turning into AG and going up on the roof PREVENTS the stabbings (presumably), while Walky going up on the roof to nom cookies ENSURES not sharing.

  22. Tacos

    So…uh…now what? Is Amber gonna try to maintain character and brood silently on the roof while Walky wolfs down cookies right next to her?

    1. Pat

      That or eat cookies. Those are her options.

      1. Reltzik

        Actually, silently standing near someone as they wolf down cookies they refuse to share is pretty effective for enhancing one’s brood. Also works for sulking, angsting, self-pitying, or raging.

        1. NotPiffany

          Of course, Walky short-circuited that by offering to share. Way to go, Walky!

    2. Bagge

      That’s such a Batman and Flash-moment right there.

  23. Madock345

    Walky’s hair looks really great in this strip 🙂

    1. caesaria82

      Right? I love it. Windswept romantic hero realness 😀

      1. Silly Name

        It’s the rain. Er, the wind.

        1. Clif

          Oh definitely the rain. But as yet it’s just minor sprinkles and math tests.

  24. Just Me

    Wonder how Walky feels about the person who stabbed his sister in the hand once? Or about what his sister did back then?

    Though I do love how Walky can disarm any tense situation. AG, take the cookies.

  25. JessWitt

    So she Amazi’d herself to not dole out action for once.

    1. JessWitt

      Emphasis on the NOT

    2. Amazi-Girl impersonator

      AMAZI-LOGIC STRIKES AGAIN, I’d say!

      1. Emperor Norton

        It seems weird and strange, yes, but there is in fact a logic to it:

        Amazi-Girl is the one that (mostly) is in control of herself. She is the one that is meant to have all the good qualities that Amber does not have. She is meant to be capable of dealing with things that Amber is not capable of dealing with.

        And one of those things that AG has to deal with is the fact that Sal is no longer a threat. The past is still the demon that haunts Amber… But AG is meant to think about it like a hero. She’s the one that can face the change of Sal; face that Sal is in fact no longer a horrible person. Both AG and Amber has now encountered Sal being helpful, but Amber’s still unable to process this in any way but panic reactions.

        And all of this leads to a conundrum. True, AG is in fact not a particularly healthy outlet for Amber, especially not in the long run. But if someone just took AG away from her right now? That could potentially be even worse. Before AG can go away, we need to be able to imprint AG’s better qualities into Amber.

        1. Cerberus

          Yeah, the alters need to communicate and work together. Acknowledge that they share one life and one body and so need to have each other’s back. Amber allowing Amazi-girl some measure of self-preservation and flexibility. Amazi-girl allowing Amber full participation in love and allowing her a more healthy means of coping with anger and letting past traumas settle into the past.

        2. Charles Phipps

          I’m very much of the mind people make a serious mistake believing Amber is real. She’s not. Amber is a creation of Blaine and is where Amber stores all of her self-hatred and weakness. Amazi-Girl is the real Amber. The one she won’t let herself believe she is. The confident, honest, noble girl. She doesn’t believe she can be that person because Blaine made her hate herself. Amber is the fiction, not Amazi-Girl. She just “looks” real and that’s tragic because the healthiest thing is for Amazi-Girl to fight Amber in a junkyard and kill her so she can emerge as her true self. At least that’s how Superman 3 did it.

        3. Amazi-Girl impersonator

          Lemme guess, my real name is Ama-Zing?

          Yeah, I was told that from a guy with a cyborg, and his maid.

        4. JessWitt

          Amber isn’t real. This is some scary, though potentially true, thinking here. And all this talk of split personality is intriguing.

        5. Emperor Norton

          1: That is actually a very interesting perspective.

          2: I believe you were busy writing this comment when I made a reply to Cerberus a bit below. Which means that we both independently thought about the junkyard fight between Superman and Clark Kent in Superman III tonight. Quite a coincidence, huh?

        6. fizzywafflezsuperstore

          GOOD THEORY

          (There is no sarcasm in this statement)
          (Like, really)
          (This isn’t sarcasm)

        7. Xelgaex

          She (they?) might view it as weakness, but Amber actually has a lot of positive qualities that Amazi-girl needs. Of the top of my head, she has the ability to compromise, allows herself to make and admit to making mistakes, and, rather importantly, has a much better sense of self-preservation than Amazi-girl does.

        8. Emperor Norton

          “[Amber] allows herself to make and admit to making mistakes”

          I personally disagree with this. Well, I do admit that she’s admitting mistakes, but if there is one thing I think Amber is not good at, it’s allowing herself to make mistakes; not without falling back into the downward spiral of keeping on blaming herself for everything bad that’s happening, even when it’s not her fault.

          And when Amber makes a mistake, or even perceives that she’s made a mistake, it just cuts into her far worse than it should. There was f.ex. the time when she’d made that script for her class that was way above and beyond was required. When the teacher (or TA) was not impressed, she immediately got a serious downer, of the sort “I can do nothing right. I don’t belong here.” Not a healthy response at all, that.

          And right now, we’re seeing AG because AG is the one with self-control and, I would argue, self-preservation enough to not go and stab Sal again. Although I guess one could also argue that Amber had enough self-preservation to run away and become AG before the stabbing happened. OK, that’s a tricky one, really…

        9. Charles Phipps

          Yeah, people keep thinking getting rid of Amazi-Girl would help Amber but the truth is that Amber is the psychotic murder one while Amazi-Girl is the one who wants to rise above it.

        10. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          So despite the name, Amber is a ghost of the Broken Pattern?

        11. Cerberus

          Interesting theory.

          I still think she’s DID and thus both are real in that they are both her alters, each one taking a different thing from her experiences surviving Blaine’s constant abuse, but this one is really intriguing and I would definitely be happy if it was true.

        12. Gigafreak

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/compartmentalize/

          Amber and Amazi-Girl have both stated at different times that Amazi-Girl is not a complete personality. (It was one of the several “I’m Amazi-Girl!” hints that flew right over Danny’s head.) Can’t deny the possibility that “Amber” may still be a construct, but it doesn’t seem likely that “Amazi-Girl” is the “real” person when both known sides believe she is not, and have a rather valid reason for it.

        13. StClair

          IMO, Amazi-Girl is becoming more real as Amber tries to shuffle all that is good and admirable and secure out of “Amber”, leaving that self as just a dumping ground – which is what her father did too, of course.

        14. Spencer

          Yeah, I think at this point it is a full blown separate identity, rather than just being a coping mechanism anymore.

  26. Luzahn

    Now we just pray that Walky never wears a wig as part of some sort of amusing hijinks.

  27. tim gueguen

    This strip brings up the issue of the police being interested in Amazi-girl. I doubt the Ross incident was the first time they’ve wanted to talk to her.

    1. RP

      IIRC, they also wanted to talk with her about the incident with Blaine.

      1. Clif

        And for many acts on campus, improving the security of without authorization.

  28. Wizard

    But if Walky starts throwing things at other girls, wouldn’t that be cheating?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Cowering behind an upraised tribute of cookies is probably fine.

  29. AgentKeen

    “Please don’t stab me…”

  30. Cerberus

    Also, this scene puts this moment in new context:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/kindness-4/

    I mean, she was holding the mask but her cheeks showed the blush. That means, that was the Amber alter with the Amazi-girl alter working the legs, trying to get her away, neither wanting to waste a single second or distraction in their power-struggle.

    And that means her alters are straight up wrestling each other for control and viewing each other more and more as the enemy. She’s doing exactly everything wrong for handling her DID and she’ll be lucky if her alters don’t stop sharing memories with each other pretty soon.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Picturing a cartoon fight furball with Amber and Amazi-Girl alternately popping out and getting dragged back in.

      1. Emperor Norton

        I’m picturing the fight between Superman and Clark Kent in Superman III.

        1. DSL

          Amazi-Girl sitting at a bar, flicking peanuts at the bottles on the back bar, but they just bounce off.

        2. Tomas

          I’m picturing Fight Club.

        3. Reltzik

          Windmill scene from Army of Darkness.

    2. thejeff

      I don’t think so. Only Amber is tagged. She’s holding the mask, not wearing it. She might have it on in the third panel, but I doubt it.

      I don’t think it’s Amazi-Girl wrestling for control, but Amber running to get somewhere she can become Amazi-Girl so that she won’t give in to the anger and attack Sal.

      Not seeing AG as the enemy, but again as the refuge when Amber can’t cope.

      1. Cerberus

        Point.

        I might also be seeing too much of myself potentially in that moment, because an incident where alters were fighting for control over different parts of my body was when I realized that my way of handling my DID was not working and just making things worse.

  31. caesaria82

    Gdi Amber, don’t stab both Walkerton siblings, that’ll make it look like a pattern xD

    1. Pat

      Oh, they’re talking about the same person. I didn’t even think of that.

  32. DarkoNeko

    “Depend, wanna get stabbed ?”

    It just occured that since the US switched to summer time, us (the rest of the world) have the comic one hour earlier ’til the last sunday of march.

    1. Marbar

      At which point, those of us in the southern hemisphere will get them even earlier!

    2. Uniqueantique

      Switch is to Spring, but yeah summer does get dragged along. 🙂

      1. No Name

        Britain calls “Daylight Saving Time” “Summer Time”.

  33. newllend(henryvolt)

    So the real dangerous one here is Amber not Amazi-girl.

    1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      Interesting…

    2. Bagge

      That’s the way Amber sees it. Amaziegirl exists to a large extent to keep Amber in check.

    3. Reltzik

      … now I’m imagining Amazi-Girl removing her mask and saying “let’s get dangerous…”

  34. Liz

    Maybe…maybe Walky will be just capable of handling this? Amazigirl seems…much calmer than Amber.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Well, I noticed that rather than just cut the conversation and went away, which she would have done if she really wanted to be alone, she just let Walky off with a warning.

      1. DarkoNeko

        so IMO she really needs the company right now.

      2. Pat

        Warning? She volunteered to leave.

  35. Rukduk

    Cookies, unfortunately, do not solve all problems. However, they can ease someone towards a solution.

  36. Uniqueantique

    Walky needs to find a real good excuse to leave. If she recognizes him as Sal’s brother, that could trigger interesting reactions.

    Which maybe is dawning on Walky in the last panel. Wonder if stabbing may trigger that his sister was stabbed? but that would be a very long shot to connect it to AG as she wasn’t around then, only Amber. And he doesn’t know Amber stabbed Sal. I think. Humm…nm.

    I think I’ll leave now.

    1. zoelogical

      yeaaah. i don’t think Amazigirl has stabbed anyone??

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Probably not. Amber, however? Has. I doubt David knows that, but his sister having been stabbed in the hand might leave him with a slightly more visceral reaction to the mention of stabbing than others.

    2. TheNinthShader

      *TRIGGERED*

  37. Bagge

    Enjoy your cookie, Walky

  38. Russ

    HE’S REALLY TRYING

  39. Ragnal

    Trying to avoid the person she stabbed while talking to her twin brother?

    IIIIIT’S A SMALL WORLD AAAAFTER ALL…

    1. Reltzik

      A small floor of the dorm building, at least.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      I was stuck in the Disney Land ride for 2 hours with that playing.

      I was a broken man after that.

    3. Localvigiliante

      A study was done on what song received the most radio play and ‘it’s a small world after all won’.

  40. Tomas

    Wow, it’s crazy how Willis keeps finding new ways to write conversations about Amber and/or Sal while still keeping their shared history a secret.

    Look at this. Walky is talking about sharing his cookies with Sal, and Amazi-Girl is talking about stabbing Sal and neither of them knows THEY’RE BOTH TALKING ABOUT SAL. How does this keep happening?

    1. Willoughby Chase

      Sal, Walky and Danny don’t talk to each other that much.

      Although the Sal -> Danny -> Amber connection is about to get interesting.

      1. Spencer

        Even in another universe, Sal complicates Danny’s relationships.

  41. Megatron

    If you don’t want to share your cookies, go ahead and just eat them in front of your inferiors. Hiding from them just make you look weak.

    1. zoelogical

      …inferior is a very bad word choice in this context, i think.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Do not question the Master of the Decepticons.

    2. Reltzik

      …. wait, metallic robots that transform into guns consume cookies? As opposed to, I dunno, energeon? Maybe both? Can energeon be rendered into cookie form?

      1. NotPiffany

        Of course. You use it in place of chocolate chips.

      2. StClair

        “Energon goodies.”

        Just don’t run out when facing a bunch of hungry Sharkticons (which is to say, Sharkticons).

  42. Bruno

    I feel like everyone should have a little walky in there lives… but conversely if there was a real walky in there lives experiencing their drama he would grow as a person and maybe become a more mature person and would thus not be that immature person that would help guide them by being less mature while still maintaining core values.

  43. Orion Fury

    Am I alone in being concerned that one of those boxes contains dry ice, and in said dry ice contains a package of Klondike Bars? The lengths these people are will to go to to enjoy cookies fills me with dread if one of those bars appears.

    1. inqntrol

      I guess you are not fond of them.

      1. Orion Fury

        I like them just fine. I was referencing an old ad campaign.

    2. zoelogical

      what would you doooooo for a klondike bar

      1. TheNinthShader

        Maybe my login had an ‘r’?

        1. TheNinthShader

          There we go, I couldn’t remember my login.

  44. Tan

    I am now picturing that Sal’s “care package” is just straight-up a box of crumbs. Just whatever crumbs were left over from making Walky’s and Billie’s and Dorothy’s cookies, dumped straight into a small box and mingled together.

    Which is downright villain-level dickery, and yet I can believe it from Sal’s mom.

    1. ClaudeWicked

      How can you believe that? We currently have two examples of Mrs. Walkerton’s favoritism: when she was forced to choose between the two for a part in some tv show, and the current issue. I very much doubt she’d actively do something so obvious for her.

      1. RP

        I believe that could happen because despite the comic literally starting that there is race-based favoritism, there were still people insisting Sal must have between wrong about it or that it wasn’t that bad.

        So while it shouldn’t have to be that obvious, it wouldn’t surprise me if David decided it needed to be something over the top awful.

      2. Amazi-Stool

        Linda not talking with her daughter at all at parents weekend is no such example?

      3. Tan

        And where, precisely, is the evidence that Linda is any better than the worst mom imaginable to Sal? What leads you to believe she can’t be that dickish? What interaction between them suggests that she should be given any ‘benefit of the doubt’ in what lows she’ll stoop to express her disappointment in her daughter in their current relationship?

        1. Spencer

          I see Linda as somebody who is convinced that she’s a good mother who did everything in her power to lead her Hoodlum Daughter back on the straight and narrow. I feel that, if Linda is motivated by active malice against Sal, rather than unconscious prejudice, she becomes a less effective character. She becomes less someone we could be, and more just another asshole parent.

          I am actually angling that she sent some kind of hair straightening product in Sal’s gift. It’d be too perfect.

        2. Cerberus

          It would. Just a “see honey, I care” that was nothing but knives and symbolism.

          And I agree, Linda is a dick to Sal and I bet has justified it by rewriting the timeline in her head and making it out that Sal was the wild bad “reckless” child that always needed to be “reigned” in. But Linda has personally done such good work to turn her around and get her the discipline she needed to at least make it to a college, but oh, she is so proud of her good little boy who will be the bestest doctor ever.

          Just subtle digs that tear Sal down and make it not even worth it to confront her, because she’ll just be yelled at for being “ungrateful” after “all (Linda) has done for her”. I mean, even in this case, she made sure to include a gift for her and Dorothy, and why should she even try next time, blah blah blah.

          Which I think is why Sal has long since gone with absorbing whatever her mom throws at her and taking it rather than pushing back, because after the arrest and hand-stabbing, it’s just not worth it to get mad anymore.

          Also, realistically, I think if the care package for her and Dorothy are cookies, its a couple of the random cookies from the Billie and Walky batches and whatever else she was cooking up at the time. I mean, it would be so nice, a little of everything, that also conveniently how little she even cares to know her daughter compared to her son and pseudo-adopted daughter.

    2. JQuire

      Naaaah. I’m betting it’s like, a spare box of tampons and bobby pins. Essentials, but nothing really nice like cookies.

      1. JQuire

        And maybe one of those ‘wacky’ toys they sell at the grocery store? The kind of thing that says ‘I did not put any effort into thinking about what you personally would enjoy but look! A Fun(!) thing! “

      2. NotPiffany

        Linda saw Sal with her curly hair during Freshman Family Weekend, but stopped paying attention before Sal told Charles she had a hair appointment, so I’m betting she sent Sal some hair relaxer.

        1. JQuire

          Ouch. Yeah, I can definitely see that happening. In that “I think I’m being a nice, observant and thoughtful mom….but actually this is awful” kind of way.

        2. Spencer

          Yeah, I think if we see inside the box, it ends up being something like that. It’s kind of the perfect gift in that it accurately sells that Linda is a terrible parent who thinks she is a nice supportive one.

  45. Disloyal Subject

    Fuck yeah, chocolate chip.
    Walky, I applaud your taste.

  46. BenRG

    At some point, Amber is going to have to train herself not to stab people.

    Seriously, the terror of herself that haunts her is really awful. Does anyone except Danny know that Amber has these fears?

    1. Liliet

      that’s exactly what Amazi-girl is for
      also, she has yet to stab anyone out of that particular traumatic situation (and does not carry a knife)
      at some point, Amber is going to have to convince herself she is not, in fact, going to stab anyone and can keep her violent impulses in check
      that’ll probably help more

  47. BenRG

    Sorry about the double-post. However, there are two things that came to me from my second reading. Maybe it’s me but it’s a genuine impression I get:

    1) This is the first confirmation we’ve got that the police believe that Amazi-Girl exists and are reacting to her activities (a nice change from the cops in Gotham insisting that Batman is an urban myth and not worth the effort to investigate);

    2) It may be me, but what Amazi-Girl says in panel 3 suggests strongly that she plans to surrender herself to them in the fullness of time.

    1. Cerberus

      Could be. It could also be a sign of what you write above. That she’s recognizing her stabby thoughts and violent impulses as needing to be dealt with sometime, possibly with therapy, but for now, this gets her out of immediate danger.

    2. Silly Name

      In favor of the police in this universe, they have photos and videos of Amazi-Girl, plus several eye-witnesses who are not criminals, drunkards or junkies. It’d be pretty hard to deny Amazi-Girl.

      1. Captain Button

        Don’t forget the butt-print on that lady’s windshield.

    3. Spencer

      I think Amber knows that there’s going to be a finality to Amazi-Girl, but I wonder if perhaps she thinks the cops are going to forcefully arrest her, rather than surrendering.

      1. Spencer

        Though I don’t think surrendering herself is out of the question either. If she found out that, say, Danny was taken by the cops for questioning, she’d probably give herself up.

        1. Silly Name

          Well, I actually wonder what would happen if the cops tried to arrest Amazi-Girl: Because, on one hand, a fundamental trait of AG is “respect of the laws”, but on the other hand I can’t imagine she won’t at least try to escape. I guess the question is which AG values more: her (and Amber’s) well-being, or the laws and morals she upholds?

        2. Spencer

          No doubt she runs. She knows that she’ll get into a lot of shit if she’s found out, and given the mention here how the police are after her, I think it’s inevitable we get a sequence of Amazi-Girl getting chased by the cops, and she still tries to be a vigilante even though they’re after her.

  48. Willoughby Chase

    So Sal, Walky and Danny know different bits of thee Amazigirl/Amber puzzle but none of them talks to each other …

    1. DarkoNeko

      Walky may be the one to make the connection and tell Sal first, in the end.

      1. Silly Name

        I think he needs a few more “hints”. Ok, his twin sister was stabbed in the hand by a little girl in a fit of anger* after Sal tried to rob a convenience store. Now he’s talking with a girl who once stabbed somebody. It’d be quite a leap of logic to deduce “this is the same girl who stabbed my sister!”

        *actually more complex, but this is from Walky’s point of view

    2. Silly Name

      And Sal is talking with Danny about AG right now, too.

  49. de Combys

    Am I the only one who’s bitterly disappointed that Walky didn’t actually even try to share the cookies?

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Yes you are.  They are *HIS* cookies and he doesn’t have to share them with anybody if he doesn’t want to. I know that I wouldn’t.

      1. thejeff

        Not the only one. He doesn’t have to share his cookies, but we can still be disappointed that he didn’t. Even he’s disappointed in himself for not doing so.

    2. timemonkey

      He probably knows Sal wouldn’t accept them even if he tried.

  50. TheEighthShade

    Heyo!

  51. Leila

    Walky has brushed by an uncomfortable truth…

  52. TheNinthShader

    Next up in slipshine! Knifeplay with Walky and Amber!

  53. hof1991

    In the Amber into Amazi-girl process, it seems unlikely that Amber was a vigilante in high school. High school was all of six months ago. Though its been years for us, its only been weeks for her.

  54. Silly Name

    Walky just can’t enjoy these freaking cookies

    1. inqntrol

      Because they are hate cookies, now with extra favoritism.

  55. Deanatay

    Realize that, if all the boxes contain cookies, that Sal DID get shorted?

    Let the anger SWELL within you…

    1. inqntrol

      Hmm, Billie did ask Carla to deliver half of her cookies to someby. That might be Sal, hope she likes ginger.

      1. inqntrol

        *snaps(don’t get any ideas folks)

      2. Bicycle Bill

        My immediate thought was she was passing the cookies on to Ruthless.

      3. TheNinthShader

        Next on slipshine, Sal and some random ginger.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Billie got ginger snaps; Walky got what appears to be chocolate chip.
      Sal got cookies too; she got rum balls, those little dense nuggets of alcoholic goodness.  And because they are smaller than chocolate chip cookies or ginger snaps, her CARE package wouldn’t have needed to be the same physical size as the other two.

      1. thejeff

        I love the desperate attempts to pretend everyone is just wrong about this.

  56. ChrisHerself

    Amidst all this fascinating discussion we’re neglecting the most intriguing detail of all–what’s with the disappearing mole on Amber’s neck? WHAT DOES IT MEAN

    1. Captain Button

      Killjoy: I think it is the hollow just to the right side of her Suprasternal notch which is just above the threshold of visibility in p2 and just below it in p3 and p5 because her head and neck are in slightly different positions.

    2. Roborat

      It’s a bug.

      1. Reltzik

        A mole? It’s a feature, not a bug.

        1. Joey245

          Technically, it’s a mammal. Many believe that it’s a rodent, but that’s a common misconception.

        2. Captain Button

          Stop making a mountain out of a mole!

    3. Spencer

      It’s one of Amazi-Girl’s rogues gallery planning an assassination, that was narrowly thwarted by Sal and Danny.

  57. Joey245

    Not much to say about today’s strip. Walky continues to be fantastic, as usual.

    So instead I want to talk about the fact that I just noticed that the next storyline titles are listed in the archives drop-down menu.

    “Return to Nothing” and “It All Returns.”

    Willis.

    Why.

    Why do you do this to us?

    1. Spencer

      I predict nothing but good things happening.

      A feel good romp for the whole family to enjoy.

      1. Cerberus

        I’m sure those promise only awesome wonderful things and no sadness whatsoever… yup, just gonna keep telling myself that.

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Per his Twitter feed, for some reason Willis was looking for a picture of the front of his old church today.

          No doubt for the scene where the whole congregation is begging for forgiveness for their sins of intolerance.

          Right?

    2. Captain Button

      We can’t forget the past.

      He can’t forget love and pride.

  58. Tim C.

    So why can’t Sal and Amber/AG have a reconciliation and forgiveness fest? Each learning from the other and recognizing the shared awesomeness they each have? Please? Is that to much to ask?

    1. Captain Button

      If only this webcomic was titled “Smarting Of Age”. If only people were always saying “Bless You Willis!”

      1. Clif

        What fun would that be? Why would all us drama junkies keep coming back?

  59. Lan

    Smooth Walky. Real smooth you goon. I’m going to award you one of those “you tried” gold stars.

  60. Foolong

    Unfortunately, this is not a charity.

  61. Joner

    everybody loves racism cookies

    1. TheNinthShader

      Er.. Next up on slipshine, some racist cookies and sal!

  62. winter

    I just realised we’re two strips in with these two and, if Ctrl+F isn’t lying to me, nobody has said they ship it yet.

    I am disappoint, but proud, but also disappoint :/

    1. TheNinthShader

      Ctrl+f has failed you.

  63. Clif

    Doesn’t the mouse-over comment show that Willis is unoficially shipping them? It is Walky’s time-tested technique.

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