329

Short
Posted on August 19, 2014 by David M Willis

329 thoughts on “Short”

  1. An Average Loser

    What a fool, indeed.

    1. Maveric1984

      What a fool beliiiiiiiiiiives!

      1. Stephen Bierce

        The wise man has the powah!

        1. Kelly

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTF_tTKRdb0

        2. Black Bumblebee

          You know, I never could make out what that line was. Thanks! lol

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Why do fools fall in love…

      1. Pink Freud

        Foolishness.

      2. nothri

        BONERS.

        1. nothri

          AND LADY BONERS.

        2. Bibblebeater

          DOG BONERS

        3. TachyonCode

          OCTOPUS BONERS
          … wait…

        4. Jen Aside

          BARNACLE BONERS

    3. Ed Rhodes

      “Uh huh, poor little fool. I was a fool oh yeah!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12H8QWnwvE

  2. Camachri

    Now Willis is just teasing us.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Everyone needs a hobby. 😀

      1. Leah Rockshard

        Hobby? I’m fairly certain it qualifies as his career by this point.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Drawing comics is his career, writing ship teases is his hobby, that and Transformers.

        2. Emoroffle

          I thought killing off characters was his hobby? Wait… is… is he writing for Attack on Titan?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Killing off characters is just good old-fashioned ratings bait.

        4. c28B

          But killing off the fan favorite character is just a good way to depress people.

        5. Pink Freud

          Or in the case of Game of Thrones, attract more viewers.

        6. Jen Aside

          psst, he’s really George R.R. Martin

        7. Cody B

          Nope. Just nope. I can’t remember the last time Willis killed of a character. I’m sure it was in shortpacked, just don’t remember when. Probably during that big universe crossover last year. And that doesn’t even count, because as we all know, people from other dimensions are not real people.

        8. AustKyzor

          The only thing that’s coming to me is when Ruth died in Roomies… and that lead to Danny and Billie getting together, so don’t do that. Bad Willis! No letting Danny drive drunk and getting Ruth killed!

        9. 3oranges

          Faz’s fate in Shortpacked! is still a mystery, and It’s Walky! just posted the deaths of Derrick and Stan.

        10. Jen Aside

          Blaine was the Purple Wedding

        11. Mr. Morningstar

          If any webcomic artist would fit that role it would be Hussie, not Willis.

        12. Boomwolf

          Either that or he works with George R.R. Martin.

        13. Roborat

          Now there is an interesting idea. What if George did a webcomic? We would be getting new main characters every two weeks.

        14. Jen Aside

          What I’m saying is George R.R. Martin is apparently too busy not writing books, while Willis has THREE webcomics going on… COINCIDENCE??

          [actually yes]

  3. MrSirk

    A poor smitten fool.

    1. Justin

      Danthan…Ethanny…either way, OTP.

  4. Miao

    I ship it.

    1. Lea

      How can you not?

      1. newllend

        Its not that hard.

        1. MLEst1

          But Ethan is.

        2. newllend

          (I don’t want to but you deserve it) +1

        3. James Rye

          Comments like this is why we need an upvote system here.
          And only a upvote system, no downvotes.

        4. Rachel Roth

          If we’re doing this, we need a few different types of upvotes. One that looks like a questionmark under a ^, a +Internets button and a regular ^ button.

    2. Tess

      That was my exact thought reading this! haha

    3. stegosaurio

      So do I. 😀

  5. Luzahn

    …Yup, this is getting rather shippy. I’m really hoping Danny’s been bisexual all this time now.

    1. Yotomoe

      I hope not. That just makes it funnier for me.

    2. Mr. Morningstar

      Isn’t he dating amber or something.

      1. APersonAmI

        He IS dating her or something, thought she does not currently respond to his calls and texts. But two consecutive heterosexual relationships does not make bisexuality an impossibility.

  6. Kernanator

    Ethan the Giant!

    Actually, this could be a fun thing: thinking up wrestler names for characters!

    1. An Average Loser

      Yeah, umm, this guy named Andre called, he said he wants his title back.

      1. C2

        Well than he has to fight for it at Survivor Series.

      2. Foxhack

        I’m pretty sure he’s dead and since Galasso doesn’t have cloning tools in this universe…

        … as far as we know…

    2. Yotomoe

      Danny the Devastater.
      Billie the Bombshell.

      1. Mo

        RUTHLESS oh wait

        1. AgentKeen

          Amazi-Girl!
          Oh wait…

        2. whatintheliteralfuck

          Mike!
          oh right.

        3. Jen Aside

          Jason the Q-Tip!

        4. ninja_jesus

          Roz the Rebel!

      2. JessWitt

        Joyce the Jubilant. She’ll nice you to death!

        1. Mr. Random

          …DinaSaur

        2. JessWitt

          Dina-Pow-Docus? That’s a mouthful.

        3. Rachel Roth

          ^ +internets LIKE Fav

          Am I missing one?

      3. Allcool-Dontcare

        We’ll me being a tall mofo I might tell you a nick name some people gave which is “Tree” and no it’s not cause of Groot

        1. Annie

          Giraffe is the one I always got. I had some friends from Kenya who could never remember my name, so they all just called me Twiga which is apparently the Swahili word for giraffe. I got to where I answered to Twiga without even thinking about it.

        2. APersonAmI

          I was occasionally saddled with the disney character Goofys swedish name, essentially “long legs”, growing up. I loathed it, and swiftly and painfully made this clear.

          Seriously, I’d probably be less offended being called “whore” than the swedish “long legs”. I guess it hurts more when it resembles one.

        3. Marisa Mockery

          How do you pronounce that? I’m not familiar with that word XD

        4. Animal

          I’ve carried “Animal” as a handle for nearly thirty years now. Not for any physical attribute, mind you, but because of… well… behavior.

        5. Mr. Morningstar

          Are you sure it’s not because you are a bear?

        6. Roborat

          And here I thought it was because you were a big fan of the Muppets.

        7. Mr. Morningstar

          I used to be taller then most other people my age (in secondary school or high school for you americanos)

          Then suddenly everyone else started to get taller.

          Kinda wished I stayed as one of the really tall guys.

      4. Kai

        I thought this girl shall be known as Billie Hurricane?

  7. MrPotamus

    Oh Ethan, this is going down a dark road right now.

    1. newllend

      One that will hurt many people but will need to happen for an important cause.

      1. Kai

        Many people? But Danny first – in his backside. #-)

        1. MerleBlue

          That shouldn’t hurt, with proper preparation…

  8. Emperor Kiva

    Wow, that’s just…wow

  9. Hoboturtle

    Well Danny. Looks like you’re getting laid.

    1. Yotomoe

      Looks like he’s busy Laying an egg right now, amiright?

      1. tinfoil theory

        He looks like a Captain Morgan commercial.

  10. MM

    Augh. Stop being adorable, both of you!

  11. John

    Geez Danny, stop flirting so hard.

    1. Opus the Poet

      I’m pretty sure Danny is going to Dan this up to Hiroshima and Nagasaki levels precisely because he doesn’t know he’s flirting.

    2. Killjoy

      Why is exhibiting a basic level of friendliness now considered “flirting”?

  12. Yotomoe

    But…moms pick out the best shirts…

    1. newllend

      Wait if he hurts his shirt so much why is he wearing it ?

      1. whatintheliteralfuck

        Because it makes it easier to hide the clothing abuse.

      2. tinfoil theory

        Right. He’s too sexy for his shirt…

  13. newllend

    More than you know Ethan more than you know.

  14. Nono

    Ethan has Thor’s chin.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Which is about 0.42 of a Leno chin.

  15. Leah Rockshard

    I know I’ll be damning Willis for this later. They are MUCH too adorable together for this universe’s capricious god to ever let them work out as a couple.

    I’m pretty sure this is the cutest flirtation the Dumbiverse has ever seen.

  16. dailybrad

    I want them to just be friends, but they both need those.

    1. Leah Rockshard

      Friends are great, but they should be friends with other people and kissy with each other! As well as friends with each other. Friends who bang. And go on dates. And hold hands. And get married!

      1. Mr. Random

        Well, I think at some point they’d be considered a little more than friends.
        Probably around the kissy.
        Which given Danny’s…
        Straightness
        would really be a bit of a strain on the relationship.

        1. Annie

          I thought everyone in this universe was bisexual. Or maybe even pansexual. It’s just that some of them don’t know it yet.

        2. Mr. Random

          Wait, why would you think that?

        3. 4th Dimension

          Because their writer is Willis.

        4. Mr. Random

          My senses of humor have apparently shut off for the night, and I can not decipher if you are serious or joking here.
          If (serious)
          Explain(statement);
          Else
          Ignore;

        5. Mr. Morningstar

          I thought that was going to be an acronym so i just screeched IEEI and i sounded like a karate master striking a blow on his mortal foe.

        6. John

          It’s been a running gag that no one in Willis’s comics is straight since the period of Shortpacked! where the list of central characters who hadn’t had a same-sex encounter was down to:
          1. Galasso.

          And he’s not real clear on the difference between boys and girls anyway.

        7. StClair

          “I think, like, everyone thinks about it or tries it out eventually. We get curious.”

        8. tinfoil theory

          “What kind of threesome was I in last night?”

        9. Mr. Random

          But that wasn’t Willis using Billie as a mouthpiece, it was Billie the character talking, based on her own experience.
          There’s a big difference, and you can generally tell.
          In books and movies, I find it’s generally the villain/hero monologuing.

        10. timemonkey

          Why so serious, Mr. Random?

        11. Mr. Random

          Don’t know. I was tired, but I probably latched on to this for a reason instead of another thing.
          Eh.

        12. Israfel

          I don’t recall Danny ever explicitly saying that he was straight. Is your viewpoint straight till proven guilty? Because that assumption has lead to many single gay boys.

        13. Mr. Random

          I subscribe to mathematics.
          There have been numerous studies into how much different sexualities work in humans, and some in animals. I personally subscribe to the roughly 90% theory, although that still leaves room for Kinsey’s theory. More or less, I believe that a majority of the population would be considered straight under that model. And that assuming everyone is bi, in order to please/help/(however you wish to phrase it) is probably something that’s more trouble than it’s worth.
          Just leads to ALL kinds of awkward.
          For both further sides of the scale.
          Which makes me think of a question.
          If we assume a 90-1-9 model, and the choices being either making an assumption, which would you choose?
          One increases awkward encounters exceedingly, and you must take into account how this would affect friendships and the like, fringe cases most likely, but still happening. (Imagine a scenario where one friend continuously tries to go after the other citing that, everyone is. Because to that society, it is the norm for everyone to be perceived that way.)
          In the other choice, the one most people run off, it forces most awkward situations onto the 9 percent. This also comes with the aforementioned “single gay boys” though.
          Keep in mind that we’re assuming a uniform tolerant society. If we weren’t, no matter what there would, more than likely be a stigma attached to those apart from the assumption.
          If we incorporate this, for the assumed bi world, most people would be societally pressured to always attempt a relationship they wouldn’t be comfortable with. Imagine the feeling a gay child has when being pressured into a relationship because most people assume that they’re straight. Applying that to most of the population.
          On the other hand, or rather this one, we have that scenario where people are pressured into heterosexual relationships, because of the assumption.
          Either way, I would still choose straight, because it is my belief that an overwhelming majority of the population is, and doing so cuts back, overall, on what I perceive to cause awkwardness.

        14. Fots

          I think it’s more like 90-3-6-1, although that’s just off the top of my head. Or, to format it more like I usually think of it formatted:
          90–3
          | |
          1—-6

          . . . I wonder why I consistently put same-sex attraction on the x axis and opposite-sex on the y?

      2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Those are the best kind of friends.

        1. APersonAmI

          Me, I like the emotionally available, hug-for-hours, very relaxed kind of friend. Where I can say I love them and they’ll know exactly what I mean by that. Because I said so explicitly at one point. Because that is a good way for people who trust eachother to know things about eachother.

  17. HeinousActsZX

    Can… Can the next Slipshine be non-canon?
    I’ve got a great idea for the couple.

    1. Yotomoe

      I know I know. Faz and Dina. This ghost ship will rise again.

      1. Opus the Poet

        And the corpse will be? My bet is on Faz winding up in the unmarked grave somewhere near the ag center.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Now that, I might pay to see.

        2. JWLM

          Faz in the Lion’s Den. Yet another Biblical reference from Willis.

      2. EvilPenguin

        I am not comfortable with this.

        1. tinfoil theory

          Me neither. Where’s the grappling hook?

          The only shipping involved between Dina and Faz is Dina shipping Faz back to where he once belonged.

          I cannot fathom how anyone would think they would be a good fit.

        2. Rachel Roth

          I don’t know. . . Dina can fit behind a door and could probably make Faz fit in a box. . .

      3. Drunken Nordmann

        I support this ship.

      4. John

        Faz/lions.

    2. JessWitt

      Slipshine title: Ethan and Danny are totes adorbs!?!

      1. Yotomoe

        It’s actually just 10 pages of Danny and Ethan complimenting each other and broing out. But you’ll still fap to it.

        1. JessWitt

          Damn straight I will, Yotomoe.

        2. Yotomoe

          There’s nothing straight about it.

      2. Figrin

        Totes mcgotes.

  18. Yuripuppies

    Ethan no

  19. Equuizzicals

    Guys help. I’m starting to ship it.

    1. Aubri

      Just relax, have a glass of wine or a beer, let the fanfic flow through you.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I wouldn’t launch that ship, there are iceburgs nearby.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        “Pff please this ship is unsinkable!”
        “You know I’m pretty sure a very similiar thing was said about the ti”
        “UNSINKABLE!”

    3. MerleBlue

      You are not the only one.
      It is a small ship, and fragile, but I find myself hoping that it does not sink.

  20. GoogerGeiger

    All it took was two comics, and now I’m breaking a bottle of champagne against this fucking ship.

  21. Regalli

    … Aww, Danny, that’s actually pretty cute and likable.
    *Pats him on the back and gives him a lollypop*

    1. APersonAmI

      Yeah, Danny is very much a person one would like to spend time with right now! It’s cool.

  22. JessWitt

    This is way adorable.

  23. Lightning Spiral

    And Danny gets way more likable here. The chemistry here is pretty amazing.

    1. newllend

      Let’s hope he doesn’t too like able here.

  24. Yotomoe

    “Speaking of babes, let’s talk about how great it is banging ladies. I’m sure this is a topic both of us will enjoy”

    1. vmgx

      In his mind Ethan changes all the words “ladies” for “Danny”

  25. addude

    Anyone else think Danny is doing a better job flirting with Ethan by accident than him trying with any girl?

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Yes.
      So much yes.
      This Danny is disturbingly charming and likable. I want them to get together just to see more of this Danny. Well, that and cause Slipshine.

  26. Blackbird

    We’re all “ooh, Ethan’s getting the wrong signals”, but is he? I have never heard a straight guy talk to another guy like this. Is this a thing guys do when girls aren’t around or is it just lazy writing?

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      As a bi man, this is our subconscious mating call to those who would listen. Nuff Said

      1. MerleBlue

        Oh, I hope. I hope, I hope, I hope.

    2. c28B

      It’s a things guys do. Extremely rarely though, and never quite as thick as Danny is laying it on right now though. Unless there is a hidden motive.

      1. ShaggyDonahugh

        The ship is too adorable. Willis will sink it after milking our love for it for a while. Only when it’s about to be set in stone will Willis go, “HA! NO HAPPINESS FOR YOU!”

        1. Leorale

          I know that this is true, but for now I am just quietly going ‘squee’ and wishing it could last.

        2. Mr. Morningstar

          I honestly just want a happy relationship for ethan that isn’t about hiding who he is trying, to fix something that was never broken.

    3. dailybrad

      Guys can be playful sometimes.

    4. John

      As a straight guy, I can honestly say I have never in my entire nearly-forty-years of life talked to another guy like Danny’s talking to Ethan in the last panel.

      1. Kai

        +1

      2. Ravenholme

        I have. You do it to guys you admire/look up to. Usually when you’re young. You also have to have a self-deprecating sense of humour in the first place, which, yeah, I say Danny has cause to have.

    5. silk28

      As a straight male I definitely have, both with other guys, and also with women, so long as there was a mutually understood lack of romantic intent. I have also had cases where I was told there was no romatic interest, but that turned out to be less then true. At the time I felt like a jerk for giving the person false hope, but was later told that the person was flattered by it, even if they knew that nothing was going to happen. I think this really is Danny honestly laying out what he thinks, with a healthy glazing of his own insecurities, and Ethan being flattered. I have to agree it is adorable, but for Amber’s sake, this ship can never sail.

    6. Rachel Roth

      Oh. Oh no! NONONONONO! YOU DO NOT DO THIS TO HER AGAIN!

  27. AgentKeen

    The pair nobody knew they wanted.

    1. c28B

      I knew I wanted it. I just wanted it non canon wise.

  28. Emoroffle

    I hope this ship doesn’t run into any of Willis’ u-boats.

  29. RaijinK

    I interpret the lighter shade of blue on Danny’s Bale-voice to indicate that it’s more high-pitched than Amber’s version.

    1. Yotomoe

      Well according to Joe, Danny does speak in a tender falsetto.

  30. Carriethedragon

    I don’t want Amber to be hurt, but I can’t help it. This ship has set sail.

    1. newllend

      Please let’s be rational, the only person I see Ethan hooking up with is Duncan since it didn’t happen in shortpacks.

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      I don’t want to see Amber hurt again either, but I also never liked the Amber/Danny chemistry very much. Ethan/Danny, on the other hand, has so much better chemistry.

      Now all we need is for Danny to vomit so we can all talk about Ethan getting him pregnant.

      1. That One Weirdo

        Them is fighting words, mein good sir! Come! Peel off thine clothes and meet me in the arena, where we shall mud wrestle to decide whose ship is worthy to sail!

        The valkyries themselves shall hold watch over our struggle, and carry off whoever falls into the halls of Willishalla, where the drama tag has been pulled not! There all sunken ships sail on the docks, the gentle breeze of happiness pushing them away from the earthly rocks of drama and pain upon which they shattered!

        Come, brother! Face me in battle! Exclamation mark!

      2. John

        But they haven’t even kissed yet.

        Or do guys get gay-pregnant from noogies? They haven’t actuallly done that either, anyway.

    3. JepMZ

      I think she’d be more happy than sad. That’s a free threesome right there.

  31. ShaggyDonahugh

    Never thought I’d say this, but this ship is better than Damber/Amny

  32. Just Me

    Don’t be fooled, it’s just a Ghost Ship. Soon to vanish into the lost realm of yesterday’s comics.

    1. Yotomoe

      Gone the way of EthanxJocelyne.

      1. timemonkey

        But Danny isn’t really a woman so the ship will remain silently sailing alongside the good ships Doryce and Sallie.

  33. Lord Geovanni

    Adonis is jealous of Ethan’s good looks.

    1. Lord Geovanni

      and Narsis changed his name to Ethan so he could try to fathom what it is like to start at Ethan all the time.

  34. Lord Geovanni

    Mean while Danny is trying out for Reverse Waldo

  35. Kimberly

    B-but… I want Danny with Amber!

    ..If Danny is bi, I wonder at what point Willis decided that he was. Wasn’t Danny originally based on Willis himself?

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      You have to look at where Danny would fall on the Kinsey (sp?) scale. Honestly, though he might not sit right in the middle, I couldn’t see him being far left (strictly straight)

      1. Lanval

        He seems like an insecure dude who is looking for positive reinforcement anywhere he can get it. That said, he doesn’t seem like someone who’d be particularly secure about his sexuality; I can see him maybe bedding a guy who played to certain emotional needs, only to freak out and withdrawl later. This could change, but I think if it did, he’d also be less likely to seek relationships with the same gender [barring circumstances where he got fairly comfortable with his sexuality and finding romantic emotional needs in guys before growing out of some of his needs]. With that in mind, I’d say mostly straight.

        Granted, that’s only my impression based on behaviour and dynamics; how much Danny likes Penis v. Vagina is something that can’t really be said too easily at this point.

    2. Lord Geovanni

      and the community talks a bout danny so badly. man willis must be a paitent and belevolent man. the main 2 requirements to have a seat among my court.

      1. gwalla

        Benevolent? You must be new here.

  36. That One Weirdo

    Y’know, I’m actually kind of torn on this one. On the one hand, Danny seems to be at his most likeable when around Ethan, and Ethan seems to like Danny a fair bit.

    On the other hand, Danny has given off pretty straight vibes so far without posturing and being über-macho, and seems pretty dead-set on helping Amber through her issues as best he can.

    That and DannyxAmber is my OTP, so bias may exist within the depths of my dark, lonely, extremely fat soul. Like a kid who got lost in a candy store a long time ago and has managed to survive only by developing type 2 diabetes and a crushing desire to wipe out all who are happy and-

    Wow. That got dark FAST.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Go on… This entertains me.

  37. Beachfox

    Oh god, I recognize Ethan’s bodylanguage there. “He’s straight, he’s straight, he doesn’t realize he’s being adorable. Don’t get your hopes up, even if he is adorable and snoggable as heck. Damn it.”

    1. Lord Geovanni

      sounds like that one dark time i had on maple story before

      1. gwalla

        What is the deal with Maple Story? Is it set in Vermont?

        (And doesn’t it mean the person you were pining after was like nine years old?)

    2. Leorale

      This exactly. DoA has the best body language of all the Willis comics; that last panel is just perfect.

  38. zebrathinker

    danny. danny you’re flirting. you’re definitely flirting put this comic in front of a judge. you’re gonna get kissed. and I’m- I’m not entirely sure if you’d be opposed to it???

    (i would dig a bisexual danny)

    1. Roborat

      From the research I have read, everybody is bisexual, the only issue is how much.

      1. xKiv

        I suspect this is just as true if you scratch out the “bi”.

      2. Fots

        That was just Kinsey projecting his personal biases on his data. He was bi, so he wanted to prove that everybody was bi. He was wrong. Under some definitions he doesn’t qualify as “so very, very wrong” (though I tend towards the ones where he does), but he was unambiguously wrong.

        Then again, I’m not without biases myself. Illogical as it is, I take it as a bit of a personal attack that Kinsey specifically ignored asexuality. Sexual orientation never has and never will fit in one dimension.

        And, of course, to inaccurately paraphrase xKiv, this is just as false if you scratch out the “bi.”

  39. NF

    This is the saddest ship ever.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      I don’t think we can be friends.

  40. Idon'tcarenomore

    I think he was Kimberly.
    I said it before and say it again.
    Danny is coming on strong.
    Ethan is responding strong.
    I like them as friends, but sure friendly lovers. Why not? In this strip its got a half-life measured in seconds.
    Also said, I don’t think this is going to shatter Amber. Why should it?
    She has made a big stride forward, has admirers and knows it, and has a good friend in Dorothy.
    She’s ready to move on.

    The only thing that will screw Amber over is when bastard daddy shows up, any day now ….. see Willis hiding him in the bushes nearby?

  41. carolyi

    Love Danny’s Batman quote. It’s a favorite in my household, we’ve even got our three year old saying it.

  42. Stil

    I just can’t wait for Danny’s trademark obliviousness and Ethan’s conflicted motives to stretch out the silent crush for what seems like ages until Mike does or says something that seems dickish but causes a crisis leading to immediate reconciliation.

  43. Jon P

    That last panel, Danny’s being delightfully self-deprecating, but his “I could have any babe I want” bit seems to be forgetting that Ethan DOES have a girlfriend, having been a bystander at the Galasso’s confrontation.

    1. tinfoil theory

      It’s not that, it’s that someone such as Ethan is willing to spend time with someone such as Danny. Unlike Joe, who doesn’t spend time with Danny so much as stand next to him in the vain hope it makes him look desireable by comparison.

  44. Vanessa

    Oh, you guys are so funny! Loving the comments.

  45. TheStranger

    If Danny ends up being bi, does this lead to EthanxDannyxAmber?

    1. Zach

      I suspect it would go far worse than Ethan/Mike+Mike/Amber.

      But then, there are stranger ships at sail near me.

  46. newllend

    People trust me I want Ethan/Joyce to end as much as ,hell maybe even more than anyone else and I also want them both to find someone who actually likes them for who they are and not for they’re own selfish reasons. But if this ship were to happen ( witch I don’t think it will) than it would do more damage than it needs to.

    1. tinfoil theory

      It’s a hellburner.

  47. Ry

    Why is straight boy flirting heavily with a guy he doesn’t know is gay like catnip to me? This should be the opposite of what I want for so many reasons, and yet. AND YET!!! (obligatory “damn you, willis.”)

    1. Ry

      …….UNLESS DANNY ACTUALLY *IS* BI IN WHICH CASE THIS IS CAN ONLY END IN TEARS

      1. Rachel Roth

        Maybe this will end in a threesome. . . it would be an aquard start, and I don’t even know how those would happen, but it could work. . . they all do like each other.

  48. Tom T.

    Keep in mind that from Danny’s own perspective, he’s not flirting, he’s hero-worshiping. He’s totally devoted to Amazi-Girl, and Ethan is someone who saved Amazi-Girl from harm and nurtured the development of her identity.

  49. Digit Gidget

    Oh no. I’m shipping it.

  50. RAZ

    Well that is 3 steps in my count. Unless the steps is in multiple of 3.

    1. Sam

      He is exaggerating me thinks.

  51. IncandescentFlame

    If the ships haven’t made their maiden voyage yet, they may not get the chance to colonize the new world that is DannyxEthan.

  52. Salmo

    Danny’s flirt game is pretty strong.

    1. Deanatay

      Sure, with people he’s not attracted to.

      1. Salmo

        (Two days later)

        SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW.

  53. Jody

    Don’t he dare get a crush on Danny, DON’T ETHAN DARE

    1. Leorale

      Too late!

      1. AgentKeen

        He ships it!

  54. poofdepoof

    Basically this storyline is just making me incredibly attracted to Ethan…

  55. Leorale

    It’s true about short people and posing on tall things. I’ve known a lot of stilt-walkers in my day, and none were above 5’5″. 🙂

  56. Kerry

    I’m dying please I can already see the shipwrecking iceberg up ahead

  57. MacBone

    This is hilarious, and I still don’t know which way this relationship is going to go (honestly, it could go anywhere at this point), but I’m a little troubled at the thought that a gay guy and a presumably straight guy can’t be friends without romantic feelings developing.

    1. Luzahn

      I mean, they can, but that’s far less fun than unresolved sexual tension.

    2. Carriethedragon

      True, but- funny, it’s almost like that’s the exact assumption society makes about a straight guy and a straight girl.

    3. Em

      I see your point, but Ethan has other straight male friends who are not romantic interests. I also think a lot of people develop little mini crushes on their friends, that aren’t actually serious “lets date” kinda things. More like “oh wow look at how cute you are.”

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        does Mike count as a friend?

        1. Jen Aside

          Does Mike count as straight?

          (I was thinking spite-sexual)

        2. Rachel Roth

          Half an internet to you sir.

  58. Rabid Rabbit

    I ship it, but only because they deserve each other.

  59. Ryune

    Like fed ex at christmas time.

  60. Lonas

    The butterfly is flapping its wings extra hard today.

  61. Lonas

    Also being reminded of Shortpacked.

  62. Kristen

    All of a sudden a new ship hits me, all the stronger for it’s rapid and unexpected nature.

    1. Kai

      … and its name shall be Naglfar?

  63. DT

    Jacob, Jocelyne, Danny… Ethan kinda crushes on every guy he interacts with, doesn’t he?

    1. Jen Aside

      maybe not Blaine

      or Faz

  64. Jade

    http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1731
    *pushes together* now kiss!

  65. danshive

    The solution is clear. These two get together and Amber supervises.

  66. roe

    Dang I totally forgot they were in the middle of this conversation BC it started august 2nd

  67. Don't Mind Me

    Is Ethan referencing A Midsummer Night’s Dream here? I can’t tell for sure.

  68. Dragon

    I ship it, but I’m afraid it will not make it past the docks.

  69. Darwin

    Well, now Willis is just teasing us.

  70. Megatron

    This is starting to read like a James Roberts comic.

  71. Malchus

    No, I refuse to latch on to a ship that I know is just here to tease us. I refuse!

    …

    …….

    Alright, which one of you is the captain? I need to report for duty. Dammit.

    1. Rachel Roth

      Damn you wills?

  72. APersonAmI

    This… damn, I just got emotional.

    It’s just… *sigh* I barely have any male friends because, well, people think I flirt with them. Or something. I like people, I express this, and maybe everyone gets the impression I am sexually attracted to them or something? And a lot of males I’ve met and tried to be friends with have not been comfortable with that.

    I… don’t think I flirt? I’m just really secure in expressing whatever emotions be passing through my mind. Because I know they are usually gentle enough that they don’t hurt people.

    But yeah, with me never realizing it as it is happening, this has seriously crippled budding relationships with people not used to that sort of thing, quick to label it as something they are uncomfortable with.

    *sigh*.

    1. Jen Aside

      Everybody thinks everybody who talks to anyone else is a flirt. Fucking seriously.

      And we wonder why no one has any “real” friends.

      (or maybe that’s just me (and the whole internet))

  73. The kid

    Someones about to Danny this up….and I am not so sure its Danny.

  74. Ben

    Dang it Danny! You’re not helping things!

  75. Christopher Camacho

    That’s right, Danny; just keep danning your way onto the good ship lollipop.

  76. vmgx

    Seems like everybody is forgeting Amber

  77. oxbonkus

    oh no i ship it

  78. Usayasha

    Danny and Ethan are so happy and comfortable together, with just so much playfulness and flirtatiousness, that it is REALLY hard not to ship them.

    I’m reminding myself of how Amber will react, but it isn’t working.
    The cuteness is taking hold.

  79. Robin

    Oh Danny.

  80. CommentSpawn

    Man, now I wish I’d voted for Danny in that sidebar poll thing.

  81. Jimmy

    Danny’s pretty awesome. Just my opinion. Please don’t hurt me!

  82. timemonkey

    Guys! A few things to consider when considering the potential consequences of an Ethan/Danny ship. 1) Amber may very well be ending things with Danny anyway, their whole relationship was built on a fantasy and supported by lies and manipulation, Mike’s point about searching out weaker partners she can control may have hit home and she’s not even talking to him right now. 2) Amber wants Ethan out of the closet and to find someone he can be happy with, and she knows Danny is a guy like that. 3) Amber finds guy on guy to be totally hot.

    So, things might be a tad awkward but if they were to get together it might not be the disaster people are afraid of.

    1. APersonAmI

      Thank you. This comment section felt a little one sided in that regard, for me, until you intervened.

  83. hof1991

    The next step in this ship? A drawing of Ethan and Danny riding a dragon.

    1. Deanatay

      If Walky were drawing it, it’d be a T-Rex.

      1. Deanatay

        If Amber were drawing it, they’d be riding Grimlock.

  84. lordhaw

    Ethan may feel Danny is flirting with him, but to me it speaks to just how comfortable Danny is around Ethan. Speaks well to a good developing friendship. Whether it comes to be more (or less) depends on Willis. He may be happily stringing us along thinking this might be more than it seems or he may be telling us this is exactly how it seems. Don’t know, but can’t wait to see how it all works out

  85. Jon_Sered

    Next stop, sexy-time town!!

  86. Sean

    Could also end up as a very pretty threesome, but I’m ruling that out as a canon option right away. Most people aren’t comfortable with the idea that polyamorous relationships can be an actual thing outside of porn or fanfiction.

    1. APersonAmI

      *Sigh* You are too right.

      As a polyamorous person, and also a polyamorous person who takes quite a bit of crap for that life choice, I’d really like more positive presentations of polyamorous people in fiction.

      It’s especially fascinating to me that it is a fairly popular thing in fanfiction and porn, which implies that people identify with or are drawn to it at some level, but have decided that it’s just not a thing people do.

      I had a conversation with a guy once, where I talked about being in love with more than 1 person at once, and he expressed that he definitely identified with that – but when I said that is how I choose to live, his reaction was “But you can’t do that, obviously!”. I felt uncomfortable afterwards.

      1. Opus the Poet

        It’s almost like Poly is the “new gay” for people to “not understand”. Most people can wrap their heads around “love lots of people” in a way, but the ones that really grok it are probably poly themselves. And people can’t even claim it isn’t Biblical, because of all the times Jesus told people to “love one another” and “love your neighbor as yourself”.

        1. Slinx

          Your argument about it not being Biblical is garbage, as that is obviously not what was meant by “love” in that translation. However, much like arguments against gay marriage, that is only relevant if the people involved care about getting Christian-married.

        2. Slinx

          Also, Soloman had many wives. That is something in the Bible worth mentioning in this regard.

      2. Slinx

        I am sorry you have been taking crap about being poly. I disagree with this threesome being “very pretty”, though, given Ethan’s lack of sexual feelings toward Amber. I feel it would break down into a fight over Danny.

        1. Gangler

          I’m not exactly educated on the subject of polyamory, but wouldn’t some degree of sharing be inherent to that sort of arrangement?

        2. AriBerri

          My husband and I tried polyamory with a couple we are/were best friends with (I’ll explain the are/were in a second). Sharing is a really big part of it and I think that’s why so many people can’t really do it – because of possessiveness and jealousy. They’re attracted to the idea because it brings on a whole different level of sex and it’s nice to think you can love so many people equally and have so much support but… It’s hard to have that sort of mindset when we’re all being raised with the idea of each person only has one partner and if they or their partners want others then something is lacking and that’s a problem. Reality is that being attracted to other people doesn’t mean something is lacking, it just means you’re attracted to them, period. In the end, our four-way ended after about a month and a half because I couldn’t stop my jealous feelings whenever I saw him with the other girl and same for him when I was with the other guy.

          The are/were is because this happened back in March and since then we haven’t been as close because we’ve all just been crazy busy and so only saw each other about once or twice a month. Then, towards the end of July the couple broke up, and since then the guy has been living with us (I’ve been super close friends with him since elementary school so we middle offered) and the girl we only just started seeing again last week.

        3. AriBerri

          I feel like Mike is frowning at my comment. o.o

        4. APersonAmI

          @ AriBerri:
          I do not pretend to speak for everyone who is poly, but I see a lot of possessiveness and jealousy in the choice to be poly or not, good and bad. Because I see a lot of possessiveness and jealousy in love itself.

          Does one “own” the people one is romantically involved with? Certainly that is how it was presented to me when I first encountered it in school, the picture of some wierd man with a wierd culture and wierd religion who owned 5 wives and would get 72 virgins when he died. I can’t know for sure, but I think some of the fascination with fictional polyamory and threesomes is the idea of “owning” multiple lovers.

          I feel like there is a trope for a character explaining that they love another character, and how they came to realize this, which I do not have a name for but like because, yay, open communication!

          But oh, so often, that speech consists of “I saw you with a person of the opposite gender and I became filled with anger/sorrow/angst, and that is how I know what I feel for is true love.”

          Me – “Really? That seems less than healthy…”

          So why am I poly? Because that’s how I make clear I don’t own the people I love, the own themselves. Because any feeling is okay to feel, and talk about, even the bad ones, if you don’t hurt anyone because of them. Because we don’t have to focus on when “friendship” suddenly became “romance”, but instead on what feels right for us and makes us in this relationship happy. And it means they don’t have to pressure me into things I am not ready for or vise versa, and our relationship can be what we both want, and only what we both want, because if one of our needs is not met in this relationship, a sexual one for instance, we can find it in another rather than force it into this one. Poly means, if I do feel angry because my romantic partner interacts with someone else, my first thought is not “they must stop seeing eachother for the sake of my feelings” but “oh, these emotions seem a bit uhealthy, maybe I should see if I personally or our relationship as a whole has a few issues that should be dealt with carefully and thoughtfully.”

          Poly, to me, means happiness in my romances. I don’t think everyone has to be poly, or that it is for everyone. Have the relationship that makes you happy. Always have the relationship that makes everyone involved happy. That is the only right answer, when it comes to love.

          Thanks for sharing, AriBerri, and I’m sorry if the experience was unpleasant. I wish you happiness, in the future.

          @Slinx:
          Thanks for your condolences! I agree that not all threesomes are “pretty”, and indeed not healthy. Like I said, to each their own.

      3. Sean

        That does suck. =( I also know people who seem quite proud of being all understanding when it comes to homosexuality, but anything beyond that is still a sort of no man’s land to them. Polyarmory – god beware consenting adults make their own choices about their relationships. I’m aromantic myself (as well as ace) which seems equally hard to grasp to a lot of people. -__-x

        1. APersonAmI

          Oh, yeah.

          I identify as a panromantic asexual/demisexual myself (Not yet quite sure If I never feel sexual interest to anyone, or only occasionally feel sexual interest to specific people I am romantically involved with. Not sure it’s set and stone, but it’s cool, like I said, I do what feels right in all my relationships.) and yeah, actually a very large amount of peoples initial reactions have been very uncomfortable for me, especially when I just came out.

          The first person I came out to asked me if “asexual” meant I only fucked animals, because, while they could imagine finding things they did not find sexy sexy, they couldn’t imagine having zero sex drive.

          The second person I came out to decided I was gay but afraid to say so.

          The third person said “no, you are not what you said you are, you are obviously bisexual!”. I have no idea what their logic was.

          Eventually, much later sadly, I found people who understood and respect me for being me, but new people more often than not have trouble grasping me.

        2. Jen Aside

          I wonder if you had specified “nonsexual” if they would’ve had the same response. Or what they think of priests/monks who take a vow of celibacy (“closet pedophiles”?)

          Sucks that people can’t accept that other people have ideas that are maybe different! Like that coffee is gross! =p (not that that’s remotely comparable, but I’ve had to find teas I like just to get the coffee folks to shut up)

        3. Rachel Roth

          Wait, you worked to get them to shut up? I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite with me; they work to make me stop talking! Also – I REFUSE to enter a starbux. Can’t even stand the smell of that stuff!

        4. Fots

          It’s kind of fun collecting uninformed opinions about your orientation, if you approach it from the right perspective. Apparently I’m just going through a phase, or I’m afraid of commitment, or I just haven’t met the right person yet, or I’m a sexual deviant (which I suppose is true, in a way) who is completely incomprehensible, or I’m just not trying hard enough to be bi (this from a friend who is trying harder, but so far remains boringly heterosexual).

          . . . I need to send out more spies; my opinion collection is stagnating, and I’ve definitely exhausted the people I know who will say this sort of thing to my face. And I need to ask my friend’s mom what could possibly be so hard to understand about the simplest possible orientation. Asexuality is hard to understand like pure math is a soft science.

  87. John

    ETHAN/DANNY/AMBER THREESOME NOW

    WE CAN BRING JACOB IN AND IT WILL BE A FOURSOME

    SARAH CAN JOIN IN AND IT WILL BE A FIVESOME

    BRING ROZ AND JOE IN BECAUSE WHY NOT

    1. Rodrigo

      And put Mike too, so you have an octosome and a make it on a chart! You can blame the love octogon on the drama tag!

  88. Cynthia

    I now ship it. Who’s with me?

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      from what i remember when it comes to ethan willis loves to show us a little of it, see how it might work if they are together AND THEN CRUSH ANY AND ALL CHANCES FOR ETHAN TO BE WITH THIS PERSON

      I think he may take pleasure from ethan shippers tears.

  89. Sarah

    I really need Amber to walk up and see this happening. Everyone will think she’s about to go all rage-table-flip, but then she calmly walks back to her room and starts writing an erotic fanfic about her ex(es?) having a passionate romp amidst a pile of Spiderman comics. Then she posts it online. And Joyce finds it. Joyce then becomes a closet yaoi fan.

    1. Tenn

      “Th-this is the most perfect thing I have ever seen.”

  90. Amanda

    Noooooooooo it’s too cute stop everything! FRIENDSHIP-SLASH-SHIP IT

  91. Em

    Oh no oh no I’m shipping it! But he’s still dating Amber, right? So I sincerely doubt Ethan would ever make a move.

    1. Jason

      Danny’s not even sure they’re dating anymore. Amber refuses to talk to him.

  92. Pat Myers

    Awwwwwww Ethan’s got a crush.

    Beat the sin out of yourself, Ethan. Beat it!

  93. TARDIS With A Hat

    Just kiss already

    1. TARDIS With A Hat

      I don’t know what to feel about my Mary avatar

      1. Opus the Poet

        Work it girl, work it!

      2. APersonAmI

        I like the handle! Makes me smile.

  94. brumagem

    WILLIS QUIT MAKING THEM SO CUTE TOGETHER I’M SERIOUSLY CRYING RIGHT NOW.

    1. Sam

      I KNOWWWW.

  95. pumpkincat

    Adorable byplay. (But not biplay. So far.)

  96. a4lbi

    Is this a bad time to mention that I now ship this?

  97. Lonas

    Remember how,in the Walkyverse, Amber and Ethan were fighting over Mike for a while? Hopefully that doesn’t happen.

    1. Jason

      Now I’m trying to imagine Danny acting like Mike.

      1. Ikaru

        Ow. That broke my fragile mind… ><

  98. Jerden

    Danny has a very similar sense of humour to me. Self depreciation is the best form of humour, it’s so easy and doesn’t offend anyone. Well, except people who like you, but they get used to it. Oh, and they don’t exist, because nobody has any reason to befriend me.
    (See what I did there?)

  99. bob99938

    Ship Ship Ship Ship

  100. Minder

    Danny. DANNY. You know that Amber’s had relationship issues in the past from unwittingly dating gay dudes, because Amber told you that like three years ago in your first week of class. You also know that Ethan was Amber’s most serious long-term relationship.

    DO THE MENTAL MATH ALREADY AND STOP LEADING THE POOR BOY ON.

  101. Jen

    Even though I don’t necessarily see it happening with these three, it would be interesting if Ethan, Danny, and Amber got into a polygamous relationship. I think (correct me if I’m wrong) that’s one of the few types of relationships/sexualities that hasn’t been explored in the DOAverse.

  102. Kathleen

    Honestly, I think Danny is just SO STRAIGHT (or naive) that Ethan being gay isn’t even on his radar.

    Also, you guys are thinking too small. OT3: Ethan x Danny x Amber. Wouldn’t that be the cutest threesome?

    1. timemonkey

      Until they tried to have sex and Amber’s ladyparts kill Ethan’s boners.

      1. John

        They can use Danny as a sort of buffer. It’s not straight with a dude between you!

        1. gwalla

          So it’s sort of the inverse of “It’s OK, if it’s in a three-way / It’s not gay, when it’s in a three-way / If there’s a honey in the middle there’s some leeway”?

  103. Maycroft

    I’m loving this bromance.

  104. chisci

    Danny calm the fuck down or watch your own heterosexuality vanish into the void

    Ethan, he jokes about dinner and you get all flustered, but he tells you an entire paragraph of worship and you keep cool? Please don’t tell me that tomorrow you’ll be segueing your comment with some flirtatious bs, specially if it turns out Danny’s straight after all -I’ve dealt with the type, so fixated on their own perceived shittiness that they don’t realize how much they compliment other people. I remember a dude who would talk about me being so intelligent and nice and level headed and cute and stuff, but segue it with talk about how I reminded him of family or some girl trouble he was having.

    Er, point is, Danny sounds like he’s flirting, Ethan has history of reacting too strongly, but they’re so cute together so they could have it all and I’m scared they both will end up rolling in the deep 🙁

  105. mrmudkip

    Danethan? I ship it

  106. Sam

    I have read this at least 10 times today. So heartwarming and adorable.

    1. APersonAmI

      Me too! So, so many times. I, too, find it adorable.

  107. AgentKeen

    I just remembered. That Bi-Awareness image Willis did had Billie with Ruth and Danny, so sure, it’s Bi-llie and her two partners but… No one has ever said that Ruth isn’t Bi (and I think there are hints she is?), so maybe Danny isn’t the odd one out…

    (I know, I know, I’m reading too much into it…)

    1. Sean

      That doesn’t sound like reading too much into it. Billie and Ruth could be seen as confirmed bi (seeing how they’re interested in another woman right now but haven’t previously), so why wouldn’t that be true for Danny, if he was explicitly in that image? Plus, having another queer character would be cool. =)

    2. Kintrex

      Willis has had to say a few times that Ruth isn’t a lesbian, so while that doesn’t guarantee that she’s bi, it’s probably a good guess?

      1. AgentKeen

        I was pretty sure he had said something along those lines, but couldn’t remember for certain if it was about Ruth. I know he’s had to (still) say “Or maybe Billie’s bisexual? ‘Cus she is.” many, may times to people saying she’s straight or lesbian.

    3. Leorale

      Then there is hope!!

    4. takashid

      man, if it turns out that that “all eyes on me” pic for bisexuality awareness wasnt just Billie but all three of them, that would be so awesome. Id be down with it, though i like the idea of ruth as a lesbian more then her as bi

  108. Tenn

    BAM! Called the Bale-ish voice.

  109. Trent

    I WANT THEM TO BANG.

    1. Jen Aside

      a gong?

      1. AgentKeen

        On a drum all day?

  110. scabbert

    Do…do guys get chin envy? Is that a thing?

    1. AgentKeen

      I mean, there are some pretty spectacular chins out there.

      I remember the first time I saw my dad without a beard (since he always had one before), and his chin is on the smaller side; I’m pretty sure he always has a beard because he doesn’t like his chin and the beard makes it look bigger.

  111. halcyon1234

    Wait, Ethan is TALL?

  112. Cody B

    I think I’m beginning to understand why Joe is friends with Danny boy. He’s a hell of an ego booster.

  113. MichaelHaneline

    Man, even Dan wonders why anyone would want to hang out with Dan.

    1. Minder

      i would not wish that kid’s self-esteem on anyone

  114. Rachel

    …dammit, I’m shipping hem so hard now. OuO

  115. Some Dude

    It is a good shirt, though. Good eye, Danny’s mom.

  116. Jess

    Oh my god this is so adorable. And as someone who’s been a fan for years and seen Danny and Ethan at their worst, can I just say kudos for making them both so likable (while still flawed and realistic) this time around?

  117. jayllenrup

    Well now that I’m jumping aboard this ship, all that’s left to figure out is who would be the little spoon/big spoon. Even though Ethan is taller, I think that he might be the little spoon.

  118. Ghola

    I am all for danny/ethan. This needs to be a thing that happens. Danny is the perfect height for Ethan chest nuzzles.

    I think they would fight over who to dress as for smexy times though. Ethan seems the purist with batman and robin, but I think Danny would be all out of the box and try for Xavier and Magneto.

  119. sarah

    please make ethan end up in a happy healthy relationship same with billy it would be really nice after seeing LITERALY every non straight character be super sad all the damn time

  120. imeanreally

    Why, Willis, just whuy? You make me build an entire fleet in my head, only to crush my ships the most cruel way you can.

  121. Onion

    OH GOSH THE BANNER

    1. Onion

      wait what it’s not there anymore

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