111

Signals
Posted on April 9, 2012 by David M Willis

111 thoughts on “Signals”

  1. Sensedog

    Dense much?

    1. Leorale

      I know, I love when he specifically says “I’m not dense”.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If he were any denser, a black hole will form.

        1. fellixe

          Then he’d be much more attractive.

        2. Tualha

          A black hole is no more attractive than anything else of the same mass at a given distance. It just lets that distance be a whole lot less.

        3. Mkvenner

          You win science reference.

        4. fellixe

          Yay! A pocket protector!

        5. Kernanator

          So, for now, he’s just a neutron star?

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          He might even give off radio signals and everything…

        7. Kernanator

          This is incredibly funny to me after the “reading the signals” line.

        8. Kernanator

          Well he sure as hell ain’t receiving them.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          The density means that any signal just reflects off of him like an echo.

        10. Znayx

          To fair, if you go with the original black hole idea, not a single bit of the signal which hits him would reflect. The massive gravitational force of a block hole does not allow energy to leave. But then, that wouldn’t make for a fact that has an easy joke spinoff.

          You are reluctantly forgiven.

        11. Kirt Dankmyer

          Now, to be fair, he got the signals that Amber was interested. HE just hasn’t figured out she and Sal, I mean Amazi-Girl, are the same person.

    2. Rogue of Space

      Like a neutron star.

  2. Jen Aside

    Yeah, it’s not like you’ll even FIND Sal to date her!

    *psssh*

  3. Mkvenner

    You idiot.

    1. invisiblemoose

      The appropriateness of the gravatar is amazing.

  4. JayStrang

    Poor, dumb bastard.

  5. Wonder Wig

    So, will Danny be putting himself in danger to get Amazi-Girl’s attention à la the second Twilight movie?

    1. Ragnal

      Or how about SILVER AGE LOIS LANE?

      1. Bekah

        Kids these days, amirite?

        1. Bekah

          *puts on joke explainer hat*

          It’s funny because I was born almost 20 years after the Silver Age of comics ended.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t Explain The Joke or the next time, I will trope you.

        3. Kernanator

          He’d do it, man. He would.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Naturally, troping is Serious Business you know. 😀

        5. Yotomoe

          Everytime someone explains the joke a comedian rolls over in his grave.

        6. LeaLeonis

          Everytime a comedian rolls over in his grave, all the maggots afound will ask him what the hell he just did and what that was supposed to mean.
          Silly, curious maggots.

        7. Shippy McShipper

          So maybe we should exploit the rolling comedians for (presumably cheap) energy.

        8. NiK

          Kimiko Ross, is that you?!

        9. Shippy McShipper

          Ha! I wish.

        10. Ragnal

          So was I, but even then it happened pretty often enough…

      2. MichaelHaneline

        I get Ragnal’s reference. I have no idea what Wonder Wig is talking about…

      3. Wonder Wig

        So Lois Lane is just as bad as Bella?

        1. Spazman

          sssssss…….

          even as a Marvelite this makes me cringe

        2. Scoops!

          Lois Lane’s true love is journalism!

        3. Ragnal

          *sigh*

          Bella is a fool that thinks stalking is love. Lois Lane, usually, is getting attention for a story.

          VERY different motivations.

        4. David

          Depends on which Lois Lane. The Lois Lane in the crazy portions of the Silver Age was motivated mostly by trapping Superman into marrying her.

        5. StClair

          You say that like there were non-crazy portions of the Silver Age.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    EPIC FACEPALM

    1. KresyAntics

      ow ow ow ow… oh the pain can’t stand the pain

  7. Blob Marley

    I have no words. My words have failed me.

    1. fellixe

      DAMN YOU WORDS!!!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Danny’s brain has failed him.

      1. Yotomoe

        It seems to have been doing that a lot lately. it’s not very dependable.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          He needs a better OS.

        2. CWR

          They should’ve sent a poet…

  8. Cholma

    “hang out with her”.
    DUDE. When have you EVER “hung out with” Amazi-Girl? She saved your ass ONCE. Have you seen her since then? (was he at the party, or in the hallway when AG saved Billie from Ruth?)

  9. Ragnal

    Oh god Danny.

    You’re so dense I want to deliver a Gibbs slap on you so badly.

    1. Mkvenner

      I second, third, fourth and fifth that.

      1. Usayasha

        I [insert next number in sequence] that.

        1. Blob Marley

          I Fibonacci that!

    2. Cholma

      No, no, no. Don’t do that, because then Danny would try to hit on Abby, and she’s farrr too awesome for him.

  10. Bekah

    This looks like a job for…!

    Missed Connections!

    Craigslist to the rescue!

    1. Brendan

      Does anyone ever actually reconnect that way? It just seems so vanishingly unlikely that two people, however well they connected, both think to go to that page…

      1. Bekah

        I have heard no first hand accounts of it working.

        *risks being troped by mongoose*

        Hence the joke.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          You Dodged The Bullet this time.

  11. mechaqua

    Way to read the signals Danny!

    Amber for your own safety never get into a car with him.

    1. Kernanator

      He’d probably drive off a cliff saying “I know exactly where we’re going!”

  12. Splash*Boogie

    Danny if your face had a life that had a face I’d punch it.

  13. DiDi

    ROFLMAO!!!

    Oh god… this is too great.

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    If Danny was a DnD character, his INT must be the dump stat.

    1. mechaqua

      I believe wisdom would be a more appropriate skill as perception and sense motive are based on Wisdom.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Either way, he muct have rolled a 1 on his d20.

        1. mechaqua

          Wouldn’t be Danny’s first critical fumble.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Damn unlucky dice.

        3. mrelegos

          Clearly, he didn’t make appropriate sacrifices to the dice gods.

        4. LurkerAbove

          He should have pre-rolled the 1s out of them.

  15. John Madden

    Not the brightest bulb in the box, are ye, Danny?

  16. Jackson

    To me, the most hilarious thing about this strip is Danny thinking he has a chance with a superhero.

    …Actually, the most hilarious thing is that he kind of does.

    1. Kernanator

      You’re right, that is funny.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Well, he DID have a chance…

    2. Yotomoe

      Danny CLEARLY has a high oppinion of himself. He just looks in the mirror and goes, “I’m kind and trustworthy and any girl, super or otherwise, would be crazy not to date me”

  17. Uniqueantique

    Actually, it may be that he will never get the connection.

  18. Kernanator

    Oh Danny. You are so depressingly unintuitive that it wraps all the way back around to hilarious.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      With his level of density, he might even have a gravitational pull to rival DD-cup breaats, now that’s impressive.

  19. TheTJ

    “Oh yeah, and don’t take this the wrong way, but Amazi-girl is WAY prettier than you. also, taller, stronger, and faster.

    …Because you are different people, see? Totally not you in disguise.”

    1. Crumplepunch

      And, unlike you, she’s immune to criticism.

  20. Azukar

    Is Amber… possibly implying that she’s got some kind of advanced knowledge of Amazi-Girl’s whereabouts and actions?

    Wait! I get it now! Amazi-Girl must be… Amber’s roommate!

    1. GenericScreenName101

      Totally!

    2. Steven

      With all that practice hiding behind doors and things.

  21. Aegon01

    I want to throttle Danny.

    1. Splash*Boogie

      I second, third and fourth this sentiment and it’s now my slogan for the upcoming election.

  22. Not Danny

    Most people lines go something like “Oh Danny, you idiot. I’ll throw a rock at your face! (in your face)(for a nickle)”…

    Don’t you notice he IS actually right? AG DID chase the criminals because she liked him… the only problem is that he didn’t notice Amber and AG are one and the same.
    Besides that, he is totally right.

    1. Aegon01

      You know what? If Amber is smart, she’ll do something kickass in front of Danny as AG, then when he tries to talk to her, she does a big reveal.

      But that’s not what she’s going to do. She’s probably going to go into a WoW-coma.

      1. lordphulish

        Or she has AG be an asshole to him instead

        1. Aydr

          Yeah, that wouldn’t surprise me. AMAZI-GIRL GOES ROUGE?!

        2. Aydr

          (and Sal ends up back in juvvie because of it)

        3. Steven

          I think Amazi-Girl looks fine without make-up.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          I believe the word you want is rogue not rouge.

      2. Shippy McShipper

        Last comic I was suspecting she was going to casually mention that she happens to be friends with Amazigirl, and proceed to set them up.

        But now I think he blew even that one.

  23. Aria

    I’m hoping to see Amber get frustrated as all hell before finally outing herself to Danny, only to have him respond “I know.”

    Then FEMURS!

    1. Maycroft

      Femurs for a nickel.

    2. begbert2

      70 comics later: “Hmm? I knew the whole time. I was just messing with you.”

  24. BigMadDraco

    So DoA Danny has become Lois Lane?

    1. Not Danny

      Lois Danniel… sound good enough.

  25. LiC

    Oh Silly Danny… How can you not realize the obvious?

    Surely Amazi-Girl will be too involved in her crime-fighting career to pursue a relationship with you! Tsk-tsk. Silly Danny.

  26. Yotomoe

    I’d be very very impressed if you DID manage to be around Amber and Amazagirl at the same time. That’d be awesome!

    1. Fignewton of my Imagination

      If one day she shows up in a half Amazi-girl/Amber outfit, she could turn and face him one side at a time and he would do a “Where did Amazi-girl/Amber go, she was JUST here?”

  27. Furie

    Geez, superheroes always end up with someone who figures their identity out for themselves (Batman & Tim Drake for example). So Amazigirl will be with Billie.

    1. LiC

      Actually, I’m pretty sure super-heroes always end up with the person who needs to be told their secret ID. Superman and Lois. Batman and Catwoman. Tim Drake and Spoiler. etc…

      I think if they figure out the identity for themselves, they usually end up leaving the hero after a certain point (“I can’t deal with this anymore, boo-hoo”). Or dying. Or getting their marriage erased by Satan…

  28. MateodelOso

    ….And again your everyman continues to be a chump. Such a shame.

  29. Ryan Balis

    Youre not dense Danny, you’re stupid lol

  30. Midarc

    The love interest falls for your alterego.
    Thinks the real you is a bit of a doofus and hits you with a friendzone piledriver.

    Kudos.
    This is how you know you’ve ‘arrived’ as a superhero.

    All she needs now is a nemesis.
    I nominate ‘rapist guy’, but he’ll have to start wearing a cape.

    1. Aydr

      Nah, he’s got the perfect scar now. No need for a cape.

  31. Martin S Smith

    Danny is too stupid to live.

  32. jaimehlers

    There are two ways to screw up, seeing a pattern where none exists, and not seeing a pattern where it exists.

    Billie did the former. Danny did the latter.

    Is it wrong to think both are amusing?

  33. Roborat

    I know, he will become Amazi-Girls sidekick. And she will call his character Oblivious-Boy, and he will never understand why.

  34. waldosan

    this will only end in blood sweat and an inordinate amount of tears.

  35. Chris

    OH MY GOD FUCK YOU DANNY.
    Your density knows no bounds!

    He frustrates me, yet I still laugh.

  36. Aisling

    I love the gender-swapped superman romance going on, too funny.

Leave a Reply to Plasma Mongoose Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.