Boys and girls of Dumbing of Age
Wouldn’t you like to see Amber rage?
Come with us and you will see
This, our ruined dorm party
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Ex-pals fought in the dorm of Joyce
This was Halloween, everybody made a scene
All silence ’til the booers gone and raised their voice
All aghast, everybody scream
In this dorm on Halloween
Mike is the one Walky says is not dead
Nickels brought and moms in his bed
Sal is the one to do Malaya harm
Scowling like mad and spider on her arm
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
In this dorm, we stared, pale
Every jaw dropped to the Walky’s tale
In this dorm, don’t we hate it now?
Everybody’s waiting for the next shoe drop
‘Round that corner: Mike, hiding in the trash (sike)
Walky’s whining now to joke and Amber SCREAM
This was Halloween, poor in taste, and quite obscene
Aren’t you MAD? Well, that’s just fine
Have a snack, have some punch
Take some cookies home for lunch
Ride with the Sal (if she had her bike)
Everybody scream, everybody scream
In our dorm on Halloween
Dina’s the Rex with the angry hat face
ROAR in a flash and gone without a trace
Becky’s the lesbian who calls, “I AM!”
Ruth is the one running femur scams
Dan is the Kermit, ukulele loon
Filling your head to the brim with tunes
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Tender manchilds cooling his heels
Life’s no fun with all these bad feels
That’s the past, Mike unseen
In this dorm on Halloween
In this dorm, don’t we hate it now?
Everybody is waiting for the next shoe drop
Skeleton Sarah will give you a scare
And she’ll scream like a banshee
Because she’s NOT having fun
This was Halloween, everybody scream
Won’t you please make way to show Walky to the door
Dorothy is Dinkley to the max
Everyone hail to the future prez now
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
In this dorm Joyce calls home
Everyone bail ‘cuz this party’s blown
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la la la, WIIGIIIIIII
Sorry to hear that. Do you think you might have vocal dysphoria?
Greebs
I’m pretty sure most people who don’t have to listen to recordings of their own voice on the regular (so have to get used to it by necessity) get weirded out by hearing the sound of their own voice.
I used to think that very same thing. But then I found out about VD and was like, “wait, this isn’t something that happens to everybody? And i had this all this time and it has a name too? Damn.”
Arioch
Wait. Hold up. Other people don’t get messed up by the sound of their own voice? …. I may need to lie down….
Paradox
Usually its people who hear themselves in recordings frequently
What you hear when you speak is not what you sound like to others, because the bones in your face carry lower frequencies much better than air does, so your own idea of what your voice is does not necessarily match reality
Its not quite a dysphoria, but just about everyone goes “wait, THAT’S my voice?” The first time they hear themselves in a recording
foamy
Yeah, it’s an everybody thing. You hear your own voice differently than the rest of the world does, because, to you, the sounds are conducted through the bones of your skull as well as through the air, and the mismatch feels kind of uncanny.
But is that really what Wellerman &/or Arioch are talking about? I studied sound engineering when I was 20 and we recorded our own voices all the time for exercises and such, and it was weird and unpleasant at first but i got used to hearing it pretty soon.
I’ve known people who, from the first time the heard themselves recorded, liked the sound of their recorded voice better than how they heard it not recorded.
Bryy
I sound normal to myself, but then I hear my voice played back and I’m squeaky.
What gets me is they were all booking Halloween specifically as a day of trial for relationships. When Becky asked why they broke up Walky said “Halloween happened.” Like it was a big deal. But it turns out it wasn’t “Halloween” they were just assholes, which you can be any day of the weeks. It’s no surprise Becky and Dina “survived” Halloween. They don’t treat each other like shit and actually care about their relationship.
Rectilinear Propagation
It makes sense that Walky would describe the fight as being about Halloween since he’s trying not to think about Mike or being sad or any feelings at all.
Cerusee
It’s conceptual shorthand, and there’s a specific word for it that I’ve forgotten. But it’s the same thing as when we refer to the Executive branch of U.S. government as “the White House”, where the place name stands in for the larger and less concrete entity.
“Halloween happened” pretty clearly means “the events of Halloween happened” or “the way we behaved on Halloween”. It makes sense, especially if Halloween ends up being especially eventful, with multiple couple breaking up in a dramatic way.
Sirksome
I still don’t get it. Walky warns “There will always be more Halloweens as if the day has some significance to his breakup but it really doesn’t beyond it happening on that day. Is Halloween a day people are more likely to say something stupid as a joke? Did Ruth decide to breakup with Billie on Halloween because it’s more acceptable or easier to do in costume? They just broke up on Halloween but Halloween isn’t why they broke up.
Decidedly Orthogonal
He’s still using it euphemisticly. Walky is correct that there are more years ahead with halloween celebrations, but what he _means_ is that there will be more days ahead where shit happens.
To consider: what is special about 9/11? In every year before 2001, nothing is. But in 2001 the big attack happened and now 9/11 happened and that date is inextricably embedded in the american psyche. People us the date as a stand-in for saying all of everything that happened on 2001-September-11.
Walky is not *blaming* halloween, any more than people blame the 11th day of september. He’s just referencing the stuff that happened on that particular day, using the title of the day as a shorthand reference.
Sirksome
Okay that makes more sense. It was confusing to me because even in today’s strip Walky is saying “It’s Halloween!” Like that’s a big deal and I don’t get what he means by saying it here.
foamy
Halloween is normally a happy day of parties and whatnot, and Walky wants it to be that because he’s grieving and needs a respite, and now he can’t.
Cerusee
I think what Walky means by “there will always be more Halloweens” is that there will always be more events in the future that destabilize things that feel normal right now. Their last Halloween apparently involved multiple unexpected dramatic, upsetting events. That can happen any time! Therefore nothing can be taken for granted and nothing is actually safe.
(I don’t remember the exact strip where Walky invoked the idea of future Halloweens, so I might be off-base here. He might just have been being superstitious, or been being performatively superstitious—where you pretend to blame all your problems on one specific thing, and keep pretending even though you don’t believe it, until you have half-convinced yourself you really do believe it. That sounds really Walky, to me.)
Laura
Is it metonymy or synecdoche? I can never remember which is which.
AlexanderHammil
Metonymy is where you use something as a reference for a thing it is closely associated with but not actually part of: “the White House” for “the presidential administration.” Synecdoche is where you use a part of the thing as a stand in for the entire thing: “fifty head” for “fifty cattle.”
Laura
Got it. Thanks!
So, “9-11,” as a reference for the attacks on September 11, 2001… which one would that be?
Laura
Or, “Halloween,” for “the fight that happened at the Halloween party last year.” Not sure which one that would be.
Clif
The date is not actually part of the things that occurred on that date, just associated with it.
Cerusee
I would say that 9-11/nine-eleven for the September 11, 2001 attacks is metonymy. It’s a tricky distinction, but metonymy uses one word of phrase to conceptually stand in for another idea. Generally, I believe using the phrase of a date that refers to an event that took place on a date is metonymy. The date isn’t *inherent* to the event; it’s just happenstance. If the same events had happened on April 1, we’d probably refer to them as the April Fool’s Attacks. Or we might use different term of reference that had nothing to do with dates at all.
“Let’s break out the bubbles!” = “let’s open a bottle of bubbly wine aka Champagne” is synecdoche. “I can’t skip leg day!” = “I can’t skip the part of my exercise routine that involves exercising my leg muscles” is synecdoche.
“The Kremlin” to refer to the Russian government is metonymy. “Kremlin” isn’t in the name of the Russian government at all. But the buildings are so closely associated with the idea of that power that they can conceptually stand in for the idea of the Russian government itself.
Bryy
Yeah, I really effing hate those two words.
Cerusee
It was metonymy! I was gonna look it up, but I moved a lot of my books around recently and I couldn’t find the one I wanted.
tunasammich
Synecdoche?
Wereg
While there’s a lot I don’t like about Becky, I have always loved seeing how much her and Dina value and try to be good to each other. Those two going about their relationship has been one of the most enjoyable parts of this comic for me.
well it was still a party to have fun more or less , though surprised he wouldn’t take a more amber like approach and immerse himself more in cartoons/fandom stuff, other than not wanting to be shut in to his dorm
I obviously get why Amber and Joyce were pissed off, but I also get where Walky’s coming from. He just really should have internalized that and let the moment of silence pass, and odds are, the rest of the night would have largely gone by as the escapism he sought. Benefit of hindsight, granted.
Yeah, Walky is an asshole here, but Dorothy is clearly meant to be a bit of one, too–this was ultimately a self-aggrandizing action. Willis seems to be doing more to emphasize her flaws lately, which I appreciate, even if it definitely feels very harsh for her.
When is Wally not an asshole? Meh. Maybe that’s a little harsh. He seems to be trying to be a good boyfriend—lately, that is—not during this flashback period. flashback
Likewise, when is Dorothy not self-aggrandizing? Okay, granted, she occasionally tries to check herself—but she does not try very hard. Or succeed.
Clif
Why are people calling Walky an asshole when he’s making perfectly good sense?
I dunno. Dorothy’s toast seemed like a perfectly appropriate addition to a Halloween celebration to me. I always spend Halloween honoring departed friends and family. It would seem strange not to.
For context: I often attend a summer conference. One year, it took place right after a particularly horrible mass shooting, and the plenary session (usually a humorous talk) started with a solemn moment of silence. I found that very appropriate.
The very next year, there was another horrible mass shooting right before the conference, which hit even closer to home. That year, there was no moment of silence — just jokes and laughing, same as every year, as if nothing horrible had just happened. I was so offended I walked out and made a complaint to the administration for the lack of respect to the victims. (I know, I know, “Can I speak to the manager?” Make your ‘Karen’ jokes now…)
All I’m saying is, I think it’s important to show respect and honor to those we have lost, even when feelings about them are complicated, and even when we are singing and dancing and laughing. Sometimes that’s the best time to honor them.
I didn’t find Dorothy self-aggrandizing at all.
Hazel
I think your comment Laura is a good example of people having different connections to things and different opinions of what is appropriate.
For many people Halloween is about costumes and silliness and having fun and regardless of the skeleton decorations, not at all about mourning. They have their own, perhaps private, ways of remembering the people they have lost. Some people find public impersonal displays of mourning (such as moments of siliences) disrespectful. Some people find them helpful. Neither opinion is wrong.
Kimi
If it was day of the dead or something, I could see it, but not a Halloween party. Starting something with a moment of silence is also a lot different than doing it part of the way through. It also sounds like it was pre-planned to have one normally at your party. Dorothy brought up something without planning it with others (and therefore giving people time to leave and miss it if it would affect them emotionally and ruin their “night off” of constantly thinking about it so to say). Something pre-planned at the start gives people a chance to be there early for that if they want to, or be there late if they don’t while also not doing a sudden mood swing in the middle of everything. Also better than doing it at the end, especially if alcohol is involved, as the party can end on a happy and fun note rather than a sad and somber one.
It’s also best to remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no perfect way. Some grieve with singing and dancing while others with somber and quiet moments. Just because someone doesn’t want to remember their grief (no matter the strength of it) while having fun, doesn’t mean that they don’t respect the dead any less than someone who does. There’s a difference between showing respect for the dead in your own way and forcing others to participate and getting mad when they don’t want to. I’m not saying that some people can’t be disrespectful, but normally that is either through bad jokes, bad comments, or forcing someone else to grieve their way. They can’t tell you not to grieve just as much as you can’t tell them to grieve. It might very well be that they excluded the moment of silence because the grief was still too close to some people and it would have caused them to break down and not have any more fun that night. It would have been possible to still have it earlier and just come later, but even the thought of it might have been too hard for some people who really just wanted a break from it and a couple hours to put aside something that is so very difficult to put aside. Of course, when anything with that much emotional weight is involved, it can be extremely difficult to think of other perspectives than what you are currently going through.
Cerusee
You have a very good point that people process death and trauma differently, and can be bringing different expectations to what they want out of an event or party that takes place after a recent death or tragedy. My experiences are much more in line with Laura’s, where *not* acknowledging a recent commonly-experienced death would not only be unusual, but would definitely offend some people. But I get that’s not necessarily universal.
Walky’s still behaving inappropriately, though. Even if he did not want to come here and be reminded about Mike, and felt blindsided by it, the best way to handle that would have been to step out of the room or just leave the party entirely, not to make a big scene and double-down on it even when it was clear that everyone else’s feelings were more in line with Dorothy’s than his own, and that people felt he was mocking Mike’s death (because, well, he was, even if pain and not contempt was what was fueling it).
I’m not calling him a monster—this is Walky, this is how Walky tends to handle depressing subjects, he’s 18 or 19 at best, without a ton of life experience, and he is not particularly emotionally mature—and Amber’s reaction to HIM is much, much worse than his reaction to Dorothy. But his behavior here was not okay, and people are upset with him for a reason. You can acknowledge that his feelings are valid and still criticize him for valuing those feelings over everyone else’s.
(Also, I don’t think it’s weird to do the moment of silence partway through the event—not everyone shows up to a party at the same time; parties often do not have a firmly fixed “start” time. And the point of public acknowledgement is for people to be there. Doing it at the “beginning”, when only a few people are there, is when it starts to feel performative, like you’ve only done it to say that you did it, and not because it actually had meaning for anyone.)
I’d feel ambushed if I went to a party that was not a funeral or a wake and found out the host had decided everyone had to stand up and give a sincere speech about what a recently deceased person person meant to me, personally. (Hell, I’d feel encroached upon if I went to a funeral or a wake and was pushed to make a speech when I didn’t want to! I have absolutely been to ceremonies like that where I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, or just didn’t have anything *to* say.) But I really have to push back on the idea I keep seeing here that just *mentioning* something that, again, everyone in this room recently experienced together, even something as upsetting as death, is akin to Dorothy verbally assaulting people, on the grounds that they didn’t agree to it ahead of time. A moment of silence is a passive thing where all you have to do is….nothing. Literally nothing. It’s like protesting by not singing the National Anthem at a ballgame. In the privacy of your own mind, you are welcome to think about tacos, rather than about the sad thing—no one will no!
Expecting people not to even *mention* extremely recent and relevant events in their life is bizarre, and invoking the language of sexual assault to condemn them for when they do it is weird and gross. (You didn’t, but other people have, repeatedly.)
Laura
Thank you, Cerusee. I appreciate hearing your thoughtful words. Thank you for putting so much thought into sharing this important perspective.
Laura
Thank you, Kimi and Hazel. I appreciate hearing your points of view. They make a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing your opinions with me — they are helpful.
Yeah like obviously he did this in the worst possible way, but I also understand that sitting in a room by yourself when there’s SUPPOSED to be someone else there, but they will never be again, can never be again…. thats the quietest of quiet. I feel like we have some conflict of grieving styles here, mixed in with too much trauma.
I also think people are a little too eager in these comments sections to forget that Dumbing of Age is a comedy comic that makes use of a lot of exaggeration and hyperbole. Walky’s behavior would be cartoonishly unforgivable IRL, but I’m not sure we’re supposed to read it quite as heavily–just like how Dorothy’s dialogue a couple comics ago reads as hyperoblivious if you take it totally literally.
zip
this is the perfect comment. i want to pin this comment to the top of the comments section on every strip for all time. i want everyone to have to read the phrase “people are a little too eager in these comments sections to forget that Dumbing of Age is a comedy comic that makes use of a lot of exaggeration and hyperbole” before they post for the rest of time.
zip
sorry about doubling up on “for all time” and “for the rest of time.” i got excited.
Seralyna
I completely agree.
Rectilinear Propagation
Strongly Agree!
Thag Simmons
Yeah
Thag Simmons
I had intended to say more than this but you know what this’ll do
Clif
I fail to see why Walky’s behavior would be cartoonishly unforgivable IRL.
But he and Amber were still doomed. Walky needs a distraction from Mike and dating Mike’s best friend would just be painful for him. And Amber needs someone to help her sort through all her complicated feelings, and being around someone desperate to change the subject to something trivial would likewise be problematic. Amber and Walky were right for each other in Book 9, but their needs have changed since they provess trauma differently. And that’s okay!
I don’t think they were ever actually right for each other. Their problem was that this was always a relationship of convenience and attraction. Nothing wrong with that, but there was no substance there beyond dry humping and enabling their dry humping by saying how “trash” they were for it. Amber even said that being with Walky wasn’t supposed to be serious, which is why she’s chosen to bail now, because it suddenly got more serious and having an actual conversation with him about his mistake is too much work for what she wanted.
It doesn’t need to be about finding a distraction from Mike, Mike was alive when they started hooking up, nor is it about Amber needing someone more capable of emotional support. They just never had much to start with.
Alex
I always thought they were good for each other. When Amber was freaking out about Sal, Walky came after her and cheered her up with taco bell jokes. Walky understood that Amber and Amazi-girl were different people, and was sensitive to the way Amber feels inferior to Amazi-girl. I think AntJ is right that it won’t work anymore, but I felt like they had potential.
341 thoughts on “Silence”
Ana Chronistic
Boys and girls of Dumbing of Age
Wouldn’t you like to see Amber rage?
Come with us and you will see
This, our ruined dorm party
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Ex-pals fought in the dorm of Joyce
This was Halloween, everybody made a scene
All silence ’til the booers gone and raised their voice
All aghast, everybody scream
In this dorm on Halloween
Mike is the one Walky says is not dead
Nickels brought and moms in his bed
Sal is the one to do Malaya harm
Scowling like mad and spider on her arm
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
In this dorm, we stared, pale
Every jaw dropped to the Walky’s tale
In this dorm, don’t we hate it now?
Everybody’s waiting for the next shoe drop
‘Round that corner: Mike, hiding in the trash (sike)
Walky’s whining now to joke and Amber SCREAM
This was Halloween, poor in taste, and quite obscene
Aren’t you MAD? Well, that’s just fine
Have a snack, have some punch
Take some cookies home for lunch
Ride with the Sal (if she had her bike)
Everybody scream, everybody scream
In our dorm on Halloween
Dina’s the Rex with the angry hat face
ROAR in a flash and gone without a trace
Becky’s the lesbian who calls, “I AM!”
Ruth is the one running femur scams
Dan is the Kermit, ukulele loon
Filling your head to the brim with tunes
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Tender manchilds cooling his heels
Life’s no fun with all these bad feels
That’s the past, Mike unseen
In this dorm on Halloween
In this dorm, don’t we hate it now?
Everybody is waiting for the next shoe drop
Skeleton Sarah will give you a scare
And she’ll scream like a banshee
Because she’s NOT having fun
This was Halloween, everybody scream
Won’t you please make way to show Walky to the door
Dorothy is Dinkley to the max
Everyone hail to the future prez now
This was Halloween, this was Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
In this dorm Joyce calls home
Everyone bail ‘cuz this party’s blown
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la lala Halloween Halloween
La lala la la la, WIIGIIIIIII
AntJ
+1
The Wellerman
OK this is pretty fucking sweet, great work Ana!!! ?
RassilonTDavros
…if the sound of my own voice on recordings didn’t aggressively displease me I would totally record myself singing this.
The Wellerman
Sorry to hear that. Do you think you might have vocal dysphoria?
Greebs
I’m pretty sure most people who don’t have to listen to recordings of their own voice on the regular (so have to get used to it by necessity) get weirded out by hearing the sound of their own voice.
The Wellerman
I used to think that very same thing. But then I found out about VD and was like, “wait, this isn’t something that happens to everybody? And i had this all this time and it has a name too? Damn.”
Arioch
Wait. Hold up. Other people don’t get messed up by the sound of their own voice? …. I may need to lie down….
Paradox
Usually its people who hear themselves in recordings frequently
What you hear when you speak is not what you sound like to others, because the bones in your face carry lower frequencies much better than air does, so your own idea of what your voice is does not necessarily match reality
Its not quite a dysphoria, but just about everyone goes “wait, THAT’S my voice?” The first time they hear themselves in a recording
foamy
Yeah, it’s an everybody thing. You hear your own voice differently than the rest of the world does, because, to you, the sounds are conducted through the bones of your skull as well as through the air, and the mismatch feels kind of uncanny.
milu
But is that really what Wellerman &/or Arioch are talking about? I studied sound engineering when I was 20 and we recorded our own voices all the time for exercises and such, and it was weird and unpleasant at first but i got used to hearing it pretty soon.
“vocal dysphoria” sounds like a different thing.
The Wellerman
Yes it’s a real thing that usually happens to trans people, but in my case it’s mostly down to my neurodivergence.
Nathan
I’ve known people who, from the first time the heard themselves recorded, liked the sound of their recorded voice better than how they heard it not recorded.
Bryy
I sound normal to myself, but then I hear my voice played back and I’m squeaky.
Marvelman
Great work!
Twig
*APPLAUDS WILDLY* WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Doctor_Who
Well done.
True Survivor
*Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap*
Chaucer59
Brava.
Jeff K!
Amazing! Full length parody, on cadence, with Turtle Power levels of plot recap!
A+++!
Savail
I almost hit “flag” and then I remembered that it was not meant as “flag if awesome.”
PirateTawnee
I give up, I’ve been staring at it for 20 minutes and I can’t make it fit anything I know.
What’s the reference? (preparing to kick myself when it turns out to be something I do know)
Darastrix
“This is Halloween” from The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Wellerman
I can’t believe I didn’t get that reference this whole freaking time. ?
PirateTawnee
All good then, never seen it.
milu
The title of the chapter itself is a reference to that song.
I didn’t remember the song very well so I went and listened to it while reading Ana’s lyrics.
That was scary good Ana!
You… nailed it (like a coffin, yeah?)
It was …dead-on!
OK that’ll do
Nazmazh
Utterly amazing!
sun tzu
*applause*
Ed Callahan
Definitely above and beyond the call of duty.
Acher4
ROFL!
Amazing!
+11 Internets!
Bryy
Well. Done.
Sirksome
I mean Halloween doesn’t really have much to do with anything here besides being a day, but go off kids, I guess.
AbacusWizard
They’re wearing costumes while eating snacks and talking about death; that’s gotta count for something.
Sirksome
What gets me is they were all booking Halloween specifically as a day of trial for relationships. When Becky asked why they broke up Walky said “Halloween happened.” Like it was a big deal. But it turns out it wasn’t “Halloween” they were just assholes, which you can be any day of the weeks. It’s no surprise Becky and Dina “survived” Halloween. They don’t treat each other like shit and actually care about their relationship.
Rectilinear Propagation
It makes sense that Walky would describe the fight as being about Halloween since he’s trying not to think about Mike or being sad or any feelings at all.
Cerusee
It’s conceptual shorthand, and there’s a specific word for it that I’ve forgotten. But it’s the same thing as when we refer to the Executive branch of U.S. government as “the White House”, where the place name stands in for the larger and less concrete entity.
“Halloween happened” pretty clearly means “the events of Halloween happened” or “the way we behaved on Halloween”. It makes sense, especially if Halloween ends up being especially eventful, with multiple couple breaking up in a dramatic way.
Sirksome
I still don’t get it. Walky warns “There will always be more Halloweens as if the day has some significance to his breakup but it really doesn’t beyond it happening on that day. Is Halloween a day people are more likely to say something stupid as a joke? Did Ruth decide to breakup with Billie on Halloween because it’s more acceptable or easier to do in costume? They just broke up on Halloween but Halloween isn’t why they broke up.
Decidedly Orthogonal
He’s still using it euphemisticly. Walky is correct that there are more years ahead with halloween celebrations, but what he _means_ is that there will be more days ahead where shit happens.
To consider: what is special about 9/11? In every year before 2001, nothing is. But in 2001 the big attack happened and now 9/11 happened and that date is inextricably embedded in the american psyche. People us the date as a stand-in for saying all of everything that happened on 2001-September-11.
Walky is not *blaming* halloween, any more than people blame the 11th day of september. He’s just referencing the stuff that happened on that particular day, using the title of the day as a shorthand reference.
Sirksome
Okay that makes more sense. It was confusing to me because even in today’s strip Walky is saying “It’s Halloween!” Like that’s a big deal and I don’t get what he means by saying it here.
foamy
Halloween is normally a happy day of parties and whatnot, and Walky wants it to be that because he’s grieving and needs a respite, and now he can’t.
Cerusee
I think what Walky means by “there will always be more Halloweens” is that there will always be more events in the future that destabilize things that feel normal right now. Their last Halloween apparently involved multiple unexpected dramatic, upsetting events. That can happen any time! Therefore nothing can be taken for granted and nothing is actually safe.
(I don’t remember the exact strip where Walky invoked the idea of future Halloweens, so I might be off-base here. He might just have been being superstitious, or been being performatively superstitious—where you pretend to blame all your problems on one specific thing, and keep pretending even though you don’t believe it, until you have half-convinced yourself you really do believe it. That sounds really Walky, to me.)
Laura
Is it metonymy or synecdoche? I can never remember which is which.
AlexanderHammil
Metonymy is where you use something as a reference for a thing it is closely associated with but not actually part of: “the White House” for “the presidential administration.” Synecdoche is where you use a part of the thing as a stand in for the entire thing: “fifty head” for “fifty cattle.”
Laura
Got it. Thanks!
So, “9-11,” as a reference for the attacks on September 11, 2001… which one would that be?
Laura
Or, “Halloween,” for “the fight that happened at the Halloween party last year.” Not sure which one that would be.
Clif
The date is not actually part of the things that occurred on that date, just associated with it.
Cerusee
I would say that 9-11/nine-eleven for the September 11, 2001 attacks is metonymy. It’s a tricky distinction, but metonymy uses one word of phrase to conceptually stand in for another idea. Generally, I believe using the phrase of a date that refers to an event that took place on a date is metonymy. The date isn’t *inherent* to the event; it’s just happenstance. If the same events had happened on April 1, we’d probably refer to them as the April Fool’s Attacks. Or we might use different term of reference that had nothing to do with dates at all.
“Let’s break out the bubbles!” = “let’s open a bottle of bubbly wine aka Champagne” is synecdoche. “I can’t skip leg day!” = “I can’t skip the part of my exercise routine that involves exercising my leg muscles” is synecdoche.
“The Kremlin” to refer to the Russian government is metonymy. “Kremlin” isn’t in the name of the Russian government at all. But the buildings are so closely associated with the idea of that power that they can conceptually stand in for the idea of the Russian government itself.
Bryy
Yeah, I really effing hate those two words.
Cerusee
It was metonymy! I was gonna look it up, but I moved a lot of my books around recently and I couldn’t find the one I wanted.
tunasammich
Synecdoche?
Wereg
While there’s a lot I don’t like about Becky, I have always loved seeing how much her and Dina value and try to be good to each other. Those two going about their relationship has been one of the most enjoyable parts of this comic for me.
anon
well it was still a party to have fun more or less , though surprised he wouldn’t take a more amber like approach and immerse himself more in cartoons/fandom stuff, other than not wanting to be shut in to his dorm
DailyBrad
I obviously get why Amber and Joyce were pissed off, but I also get where Walky’s coming from. He just really should have internalized that and let the moment of silence pass, and odds are, the rest of the night would have largely gone by as the escapism he sought. Benefit of hindsight, granted.
Imogen
Yeah, Walky is an asshole here, but Dorothy is clearly meant to be a bit of one, too–this was ultimately a self-aggrandizing action. Willis seems to be doing more to emphasize her flaws lately, which I appreciate, even if it definitely feels very harsh for her.
Chaucer59
When is Wally not an asshole? Meh. Maybe that’s a little harsh. He seems to be trying to be a good boyfriend—lately, that is—not during this flashback period. flashback
Likewise, when is Dorothy not self-aggrandizing? Okay, granted, she occasionally tries to check herself—but she does not try very hard. Or succeed.
Clif
Why are people calling Walky an asshole when he’s making perfectly good sense?
Laura
I dunno. Dorothy’s toast seemed like a perfectly appropriate addition to a Halloween celebration to me. I always spend Halloween honoring departed friends and family. It would seem strange not to.
For context: I often attend a summer conference. One year, it took place right after a particularly horrible mass shooting, and the plenary session (usually a humorous talk) started with a solemn moment of silence. I found that very appropriate.
The very next year, there was another horrible mass shooting right before the conference, which hit even closer to home. That year, there was no moment of silence — just jokes and laughing, same as every year, as if nothing horrible had just happened. I was so offended I walked out and made a complaint to the administration for the lack of respect to the victims. (I know, I know, “Can I speak to the manager?” Make your ‘Karen’ jokes now…)
All I’m saying is, I think it’s important to show respect and honor to those we have lost, even when feelings about them are complicated, and even when we are singing and dancing and laughing. Sometimes that’s the best time to honor them.
I didn’t find Dorothy self-aggrandizing at all.
Hazel
I think your comment Laura is a good example of people having different connections to things and different opinions of what is appropriate.
For many people Halloween is about costumes and silliness and having fun and regardless of the skeleton decorations, not at all about mourning. They have their own, perhaps private, ways of remembering the people they have lost. Some people find public impersonal displays of mourning (such as moments of siliences) disrespectful. Some people find them helpful. Neither opinion is wrong.
Kimi
If it was day of the dead or something, I could see it, but not a Halloween party. Starting something with a moment of silence is also a lot different than doing it part of the way through. It also sounds like it was pre-planned to have one normally at your party. Dorothy brought up something without planning it with others (and therefore giving people time to leave and miss it if it would affect them emotionally and ruin their “night off” of constantly thinking about it so to say). Something pre-planned at the start gives people a chance to be there early for that if they want to, or be there late if they don’t while also not doing a sudden mood swing in the middle of everything. Also better than doing it at the end, especially if alcohol is involved, as the party can end on a happy and fun note rather than a sad and somber one.
It’s also best to remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no perfect way. Some grieve with singing and dancing while others with somber and quiet moments. Just because someone doesn’t want to remember their grief (no matter the strength of it) while having fun, doesn’t mean that they don’t respect the dead any less than someone who does. There’s a difference between showing respect for the dead in your own way and forcing others to participate and getting mad when they don’t want to. I’m not saying that some people can’t be disrespectful, but normally that is either through bad jokes, bad comments, or forcing someone else to grieve their way. They can’t tell you not to grieve just as much as you can’t tell them to grieve. It might very well be that they excluded the moment of silence because the grief was still too close to some people and it would have caused them to break down and not have any more fun that night. It would have been possible to still have it earlier and just come later, but even the thought of it might have been too hard for some people who really just wanted a break from it and a couple hours to put aside something that is so very difficult to put aside. Of course, when anything with that much emotional weight is involved, it can be extremely difficult to think of other perspectives than what you are currently going through.
Cerusee
You have a very good point that people process death and trauma differently, and can be bringing different expectations to what they want out of an event or party that takes place after a recent death or tragedy. My experiences are much more in line with Laura’s, where *not* acknowledging a recent commonly-experienced death would not only be unusual, but would definitely offend some people. But I get that’s not necessarily universal.
Walky’s still behaving inappropriately, though. Even if he did not want to come here and be reminded about Mike, and felt blindsided by it, the best way to handle that would have been to step out of the room or just leave the party entirely, not to make a big scene and double-down on it even when it was clear that everyone else’s feelings were more in line with Dorothy’s than his own, and that people felt he was mocking Mike’s death (because, well, he was, even if pain and not contempt was what was fueling it).
I’m not calling him a monster—this is Walky, this is how Walky tends to handle depressing subjects, he’s 18 or 19 at best, without a ton of life experience, and he is not particularly emotionally mature—and Amber’s reaction to HIM is much, much worse than his reaction to Dorothy. But his behavior here was not okay, and people are upset with him for a reason. You can acknowledge that his feelings are valid and still criticize him for valuing those feelings over everyone else’s.
(Also, I don’t think it’s weird to do the moment of silence partway through the event—not everyone shows up to a party at the same time; parties often do not have a firmly fixed “start” time. And the point of public acknowledgement is for people to be there. Doing it at the “beginning”, when only a few people are there, is when it starts to feel performative, like you’ve only done it to say that you did it, and not because it actually had meaning for anyone.)
I’d feel ambushed if I went to a party that was not a funeral or a wake and found out the host had decided everyone had to stand up and give a sincere speech about what a recently deceased person person meant to me, personally. (Hell, I’d feel encroached upon if I went to a funeral or a wake and was pushed to make a speech when I didn’t want to! I have absolutely been to ceremonies like that where I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, or just didn’t have anything *to* say.) But I really have to push back on the idea I keep seeing here that just *mentioning* something that, again, everyone in this room recently experienced together, even something as upsetting as death, is akin to Dorothy verbally assaulting people, on the grounds that they didn’t agree to it ahead of time. A moment of silence is a passive thing where all you have to do is….nothing. Literally nothing. It’s like protesting by not singing the National Anthem at a ballgame. In the privacy of your own mind, you are welcome to think about tacos, rather than about the sad thing—no one will no!
Expecting people not to even *mention* extremely recent and relevant events in their life is bizarre, and invoking the language of sexual assault to condemn them for when they do it is weird and gross. (You didn’t, but other people have, repeatedly.)
Laura
Thank you, Cerusee. I appreciate hearing your thoughtful words. Thank you for putting so much thought into sharing this important perspective.
Laura
Thank you, Kimi and Hazel. I appreciate hearing your points of view. They make a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing your opinions with me — they are helpful.
Suzi
Yeah like obviously he did this in the worst possible way, but I also understand that sitting in a room by yourself when there’s SUPPOSED to be someone else there, but they will never be again, can never be again…. thats the quietest of quiet. I feel like we have some conflict of grieving styles here, mixed in with too much trauma.
Imogen
I also think people are a little too eager in these comments sections to forget that Dumbing of Age is a comedy comic that makes use of a lot of exaggeration and hyperbole. Walky’s behavior would be cartoonishly unforgivable IRL, but I’m not sure we’re supposed to read it quite as heavily–just like how Dorothy’s dialogue a couple comics ago reads as hyperoblivious if you take it totally literally.
zip
this is the perfect comment. i want to pin this comment to the top of the comments section on every strip for all time. i want everyone to have to read the phrase “people are a little too eager in these comments sections to forget that Dumbing of Age is a comedy comic that makes use of a lot of exaggeration and hyperbole” before they post for the rest of time.
zip
sorry about doubling up on “for all time” and “for the rest of time.” i got excited.
Seralyna
I completely agree.
Rectilinear Propagation
Strongly Agree!
Thag Simmons
Yeah
Thag Simmons
I had intended to say more than this but you know what this’ll do
Clif
I fail to see why Walky’s behavior would be cartoonishly unforgivable IRL.
AntJ
But he and Amber were still doomed. Walky needs a distraction from Mike and dating Mike’s best friend would just be painful for him. And Amber needs someone to help her sort through all her complicated feelings, and being around someone desperate to change the subject to something trivial would likewise be problematic. Amber and Walky were right for each other in Book 9, but their needs have changed since they provess trauma differently. And that’s okay!
Sirksome
I don’t think they were ever actually right for each other. Their problem was that this was always a relationship of convenience and attraction. Nothing wrong with that, but there was no substance there beyond dry humping and enabling their dry humping by saying how “trash” they were for it. Amber even said that being with Walky wasn’t supposed to be serious, which is why she’s chosen to bail now, because it suddenly got more serious and having an actual conversation with him about his mistake is too much work for what she wanted.
It doesn’t need to be about finding a distraction from Mike, Mike was alive when they started hooking up, nor is it about Amber needing someone more capable of emotional support. They just never had much to start with.
Alex
I always thought they were good for each other. When Amber was freaking out about Sal, Walky came after her and cheered her up with taco bell jokes. Walky understood that Amber and Amazi-girl were different people, and was sensitive to the way Amber feels inferior to Amazi-girl. I think AntJ is right that it won’t work anymore, but I felt like they had potential.
Suet