140

Simpler
Posted on December 25, 2017 by David M Willis

140 thoughts on “Simpler”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “but that means I like you!”

    “WHAT WAS THE FIRST RULE OF GARBAGE ROOF”

    1. Reltzik

      …. throwing around garbage?

      1. TemplarKnight

        THAT IS A COLLECTABLE, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

        1. Lingo

          What a waste. She’s probably not even a Dexter fan.

        2. Xenocide

          She immediately recognised it as rare, so it looks like she’s at least keeping up to date on the toy range.

        3. Deanatay

          This is AMBER. She probably knows its current market value.

        4. thejeff

          He did describe it as rare a few strips back.

        5. HeySo

          I dunno, if it bounces from her head off the roof, that distinction may change rather rapidly. 😛

        6. Reltzik

          I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s CLEARLY been removed from its original packaging.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Don’t forget the fourth rule. No littering.

      1. creativerealms

        On Garbage roof loitering is littering.

  2. Shiro

    High velocity aerial toy delivery

    Santa gets more and more efficient every year

    1. Doctor_Who

      His Kingle Kannon can hit anywhere on earth with pinpoint accuracy.

  3. MasakiSayz

    Walky Claus. I’m ok with this.

    1. Doctor_Who

      He’s makin’ a list
      And checkin’ it never because that would be studying.

      1. Michael Lanting

        I thought list making was more Joe’s thing.

      2. Deanatay

        He’s making a list
        And chucking toys twice
        Once at his girlfriend, and
        Once just to be nice
        Walky Claus is coming to Garbage Roooof!

        1. adjudicus

          He sees you when you hate yourself,
          He knows that you’re garbage
          He knows if you’re on garbage roof,
          So be garbage for garbage’s sake!

  4. Emperor Norton II

    Happy solstice, and let’s sacrifice some king or other to make the sun return again!

    1. Reltzik

      I vote Trump.

      ….. is a phrase I never thought I’d say.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Since he obviously does consider himself to be king, We hereby declare that he is a legitimate choice for this ritual.

        1. Deanatay

          Better a king than an emperor, right?

        2. Br44n5m

          Sacrifice! Sacrifice!

      2. MatsuoTanuki

        Well, he DOES seem to be a few executive orders away from going full on Caligula crazy, sooooo… maybe a blood sacrifice to the spirits of Saturnalia isn’t that far off as as possibility…

      3. Bast

        Even during the holidays people just can’t help being political.

        1. Fart Captor

          One of those people is Donald “there’s totally a war on Christmas never mind all those times Obama said ‘Merry Christmas'” Trump

        2. Reltzik

          Look, if random people you don’t normally hang out with don’t get political at inappropriate and uncomfortable times, how would we even know that it was the holidays?

        3. Roborat

          No, you are getting your holidays mixed up. Getting political at inappropriate and uncomfortable times is Thanksgiving.

  5. Emily

    So are Walky and Amber/AG gonna date now?

    1. Lingo

      She’s been marked now. She cannot escape the ship.

      1. Arawn

        Polygamy? Each of them fills a few holes in the other’s personality and fulfills some of their needs. It could be worse.

        Wow… talked about filling holes and it wasn’t even meant to be dirty…

        1. Khantalas

          “I got gaps, and she’s got gaps, and together, we fill gaps.”

    2. Lingo

      If so, it seems like it will be Amber with the boyfriend this time, not AG.

  6. Mr. Mendo

    I must say, I’m not on-board with this “no hugging” thing.

    DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM FULL HOUSE?!?!?!?

    1. Yumi

      I’m pretty sure I learned nothing from Full House.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Did anyone learn anything from Full House*?

        *As in, lessons intended to be learned. I’m sure it taught us a lot of things it didn’t intend to.

        1. Yumi

          I’ve never done drugs. Did they cover that in any episodes? Maybe that’s why.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          There was that one episode when Michelle was starting to sell weed in kindergarden…

        3. HeySo

          I thought it was uppers and ‘roids?
          Though weed would certainly explain her perpetual desire for munchies.

        4. Roborat

          I learned not to watch Full House.

    2. CrazyJ

      We’re going by Seinfeld rules. No hugging, no learning.
      Happy Festivus.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Festivus yes!
        Bagels NO!

      2. JustCheetoDust

        Garbage Roof would be a great place for the Airing of Grievances.

    3. Epochflame

      full house is a damn good show and anyone that says otherwise can watch reruns of it on night time television

    4. timemonkey

      I learned what happens if you raise a child letting them do whatever they want and never punish them. They become a spoiled, self-centered little bongo like Michelle.

  7. Dana

    Yeah Willis, feed the shippers.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      I don’t know, maybe in another AU I could see these two having a lot in common…assuming Willis would be willing to make another which I don’t know if he will.

  8. adjudicus

    Walky liking someone = toys thrown at that person’s head.

  9. Transgressingwaffle

    Merry Christmas!

  10. Passchendaele

    Toy delivery to “head”, ETA = 5 seconds.

    1. Passchendaele

      Also, Merry Christmas everyone (even if it’s two hours away for me)!

      1. Arawn

        That’s a lie. Your time stamp clearly states December 25th. If that’s not true then next you’ll be telling me that Jesus wasn’t born on the 25th or even in December.

        1. Passchendaele

          *gasp* did you know he wasn’t? o-o

        2. Ed Rhodes

          Oh, I can top that. Scholars have learned that the modern, Gregorian calendar, is actually about three years off. So Joshua ben Joseph, was actually born about 3 BC (Before Christ)!

        3. Agemegos

          JC was born before Herod died in 4–5 BC and while Quirinius was governor of Syria in 6–7 AD, during a census that never took place.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Elton John’s “The Simple Life” on the hacked P.A. speaker*

    1. Needfuldoer

      Can we hijack the hacked muzak for some offbeat Christmas music today? Anybody can play Burl Ives or Bing Crosby this time of year.

      My suggestions:
      “The Season’s Upon Us” – Dropkick Murphys
      “The Stocking Song” – Steel Panther (obviously NSFW)
      “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” – Cheech & Chong
      “Silver Bells” – Twisted Sister

      Or if you want to be more traditional, just play The Carpenters’ “Christmas Portrait”. They only seem to play “Merry Christmas, Darling” on the radio, but the entire album’s great.

      1. Reltzik

        For dark comedy gratuitous violence silliness, there’s always Weird Al with “Christmas at Ground Zero” and “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. And maybe No Doubt’s “Oi to the World”.

      2. Kryss LaBryn

        Please permit me to share a hallowed Canadian Christmas tradition: ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ as sung by Bob and Doug MacKenzie (whom you may remember from SCTV back in the day, you hosers):

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DTwLqR071M

        Still gets a lot of radio play in the Great White North this time of year. 😀 Enjoy!

      3. Kryss LaBryn

        Also please enjoy a song that gets regular airplay in Western Canada each year: Porky Pig’s “Blue Christmas”:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=739xhwKMmVI

        (the best part is the guy losing it in the background)

      4. Marsh Maryrose

        One of the best Christmas songs ever is Judith Owen’s and Harry Shearer’s
        The Best Things.

      5. Ed Rhodes

        How about “Santa Buddy,” by Dean Martin?

    2. Remmington Steele

      The Ramones https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y5GtaTrPHM

  12. Mad_Academic

    I guess I’m just a jaded asshole, but I actually didn’t care much for how this scene played out. As in the past few strips of Garbage Roof. While it was in character, I guess, it just felt so unfulfilling as a reader. But I’m the type to always be critical and I realize such a view is not always welcome.

    1. Joyous ☿

      You’re just a jaded asshole, yeah

    2. Fart Captor

      Amber finally breaking out of her downward spiral – even only slightly or temporarily – has been pretty fulfilling for me. It’s an important turn for both her and Walky’s character arcs.

  13. DailyBrad

    That’s pretty cute.

  14. Keulen

    OK I’m starting to ship Walky and Amber, even though I already ship Walky and Dorothy.

    1. spriteless

      Well, since I ship Amber and Dorothy, I think it might just work.

    2. Hoodiecrow

      Catamaran

      1. The Lurker

        Ya’ I think “deriving its stability from its wide beam,” is certainly approriate for this ship.

  15. Danni

    walky: 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

  16. pjeseb

    Walky’s method of hitting on women is certainly unique, but time will tell if it is effective or not.

    1. Reltzik

      100% success rate so far…

      1. Reltzik

        …. though, presumably, he tried this techinque on Billie sometime during childhood. But 100% that we know of.

        1. MM

          I mean, he also probably did it to Sal at some point, so it may be a more general expression of affection than romance.

        2. DailyBrad

          Yeah, I am inclined to think it’s just affection from him. Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t bean Billie, though, since he’s described her as like a sister to him multiple times. Of course, she also drunkenly hit on Sal, so who knows how she feels about that. She did go lay in his bed when she was upset about Ruth.

        3. BBCC

          I don’t think Billie and Sal have ever really seen each other as sisters.

        4. Bagge

          They got a moment of sisterly bonding here
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/familyyy/

        5. BBCC

          Yeah, but considering Billie seems to consider Walky off the relationship table because he’s like a brother, whereas Sal was definitely on the ‘I’d bang her’ table, I don’t see them as sisterly.

        6. Bagge

          Joyce ships it.

  17. JessWitt

    It’s the only way he knows how to love (or show appreciation).

  18. Ivy

    Ship confirmed?

  19. Hoodiecrow

    Thingley belts, Thingley belts
    Toys at someone’s head
    It is not because he’s mean
    It means that he likes you

  20. Tacos

    Dammit Walky, this is Garbage Roof. Not Bean-Someone-In-The-Head-With-A-Toy Roof.

  21. tim gueguen

    Given Amber’s nerdiness what Walky did with that toy is almost blasphemy in her eyes.

  22. Lingo

    Ah, Garbage Roof season, it’s my favorite season of the year. May the spirit of Garbage Roof infect everyone tonight! Dab bless!

    1. motorfirebox

      dab

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        dab dab dab

        1. Deanatay

          Now DAB look what DAB you’ve DAB DAB DAB

        2. adjudicus

          DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB

    2. Lingo

      Wasn’t sure which verb was most appropriate. Infect? Infest? Infiltrate? Inflict? Inflame? Infringe?

      1. Reltzik

        Inflect.

  23. Opus the Poet

    Chef Alien? That’s gotta be a one-of-few.

  24. motorfirebox

    I think this is the beginning of a godawful, terrible friendship.

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    Hitting on Amber/AG, does that mean he wants a threesome or is it foursome?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      You always know what to say to make me laugh Mongoose.

    2. Reltzik

      Unless Amber/AG are present at the SAME TIME, it is at most a rotating threesome.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That’s the limits when you share the same body.

      2. JustCheetoDust

        …it is at most a rotating threesome.

        *pictures a spitroast*

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Now the real question is, who’s the one(or possibly two) that is getting spit-roasted?

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I’m sure everyone’s fair game.

        3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          **opens mouth**
          **closes mouth**
          …I’ll be in my bunk.

    3. Deanatay

      When Walky hits on girls, he literally hits them

      He aims well.

  26. newllend(henryvolt)

    WALKY ! How could you I thought throwing valuable toys at the head was a intimate thing only you and Dorothy shared.

    1. Nobody

      Throwing and eating stuff is just his way of expressing emotions he doesn’t understand, attraction, gratitude, shame, etc

  27. saltchocolate

    Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays, Willis and DOA fandom!

  28. Bagge

    …I didn’t ship Walky and Amber.

    …until now.

    Walky throwing a toy is SERIOUS level of flirting.

    1. Deanatay

      He’s already been biting his lip, that’s a strong sign of attraction, for him…

  29. Jaime

    I know I pop in and out of here sporradically, but Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates! (I do, but I also celebrate the Solstice and Hanukkah. In general, I am down for any holiday that = parties + good food + maybe presents.) 😉

    If you don’t celebrate, enjoy the day and remember: there are going to be a LOT of sales on things December 26th – and that includes delicious, delicious candy! (Y’all have NO idea how much candy I’ve eaten since the beginning of December…)

    🙂

    1. Hannah

      I think I’m a bit late for commenting, but happy holidays. I’m having a lovely day with my family and I hope everyone else is, whether this is a day of special significance to them or not.

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      I am reasonably sure that, at this moment, a good 30% of the weight of my ass by volume is mince pies.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      You can still celebrate Agnostica, too. It began on December 14, but it has a half-life of ten days and is generally at a detectable level well into January.

      Moebius Chains and Glögi for everyone! Don’t look in that unopened box. Do grab something from the Random Bag of Fun.

      1. Jhon

        I wish I could throw a toy at your head.

  30. Alan

    “HO HO HO!… I mean, in the ‘jolly laugh’ sense. Not in the… Other sense. ”

    Anyways, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Enjoyable Saturnalia or Entertaining Midwinter Blót, or whatever else holidays or gods you may or may not worship out there, to all of you.

  31. Goki

    Well I am glad someone finally did it.

  32. adam

    Uh-oh

    We have walky foreplay

  33. BenRG

    In his simple way, Walky can be sweet sometimes. However, as matters stand, Amber feels unworthy of being the bearer of Limited Edition Chef Dexter.

    1. ValdVin

      I hope Amber realizes she is at least worthy of Ranger Guy.

  34. gen

    Wow, I finally made it through the entire DoA archive.

    Can’t wait to see Billie and Ruth reunite.

    Merry Christmas, Willis and everyone!

  35. DarkoNeko

    Oooi don’t go court Amber, Walky.

  36. wynne

    Well that’s a throwback.

  37. Delicious Taffy

    Merry Christmas, all. Even if you don’t celebrate it, I hope it’s a good day for you. If you’re up to it, try to have some company today. Nobody should be alone on Christmas, if they don’t want to be.

  38. Arianod

    Gonna trust you so hard, baby.

  39. Aggrax

    Given what happened the last time Walky threw a toy at a girls head, I think he just inadvertently invited Amber to a 3some.

    1. Blackbird

      “inadvertently”

    2. Jason

      He thinks he’s inviting A-G, he doesn’t know Amber at all. Which means it would be a spectacularly awkward threesome!
      …Which I suspect is actually fairly common for those who don’t do it frequently.

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        As someone has set up some a few successful threesomes and foursomes, I can tell you one thing – it is NEVER not awkward. Experience lets you steer into the awkward, make it a joke, but it is always there. Always.

  40. Liliet

    I love Walky.

  41. Ryek Hvek

    Seasons Greetings, oh puny humans – pardon me if I hack the Muzak and play Nunc Dimmitus

  42. Sporky

    “Sorry, I’ll take it back.”

    “I didn’t say that.“

  43. Reltzik

    …. since it’s gone unmentioned so far, let me just call out how Panel 4 Walky is thinking about how Panel 3 Amber’s speech bubbles apply to him.

  44. podian

    …yeah, I ship it.

    Toys thrown at heads don’t lie.

  45. Heavensrun

    Watch out, Amber, that’s a Walky mating call.

  46. Remmington Steele

    *attenborough voice* And here we see the lesser spotted Walkington displaying his courtship behaviour.

  47. Pat Myers

    Quick, someone update the Dumbing of Age TV Tropes page under “callback”.

  48. BBCC

    Happy holidays, everybody!

  49. Pocket

    I can’t even get into how many times this comic has saved my life. Thank you Willis. <3

  50. Nameless_Steve

    I give it to you!

  51. Roborat

    I knew that this thread was working up to a thrown toy.

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