253

Six-top
Posted on July 17, 2023 by David M Willis

253 thoughts on “Six-top”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    by “right kind of girl” you mean…

    1. Laura

      “The white kind of girl for him.”

      1. NGPZ

        The students are like pawns to her, only fitting she’d keep white on her right. -_-

    2. Lysbeth

      Yeah, something is not qright white. Er, quite right.

  2. Sirksome

    I mean have you seen how black she is!? A mother knows how to be racist with deniability!

    1. Leorale

      Not much deniability, tbh

      1. Qube

        I disagree, I wager she’d be in heavy denial if accused outright

        1. David

          Well, you know the Justice Thomas strategy: the only way to stop racism is by ignoring its existence. If you point out to Linda that she is acting racist, that only proves that you are the racist. Logic that is good enough for the Supreme Court should certainly be good enough for Linda.

        2. Wizard

          The idea that maybe new and better racism isn’t the best way to fight old racism is not remotely the same thing as ignoring the existence of racism. People who are just a little too eager to find racism under every rock can do a lot to alienate people who might otherwise be perfectly willing to cooperate with them. (And yes, I also regularly deal with people who seem to find it hard to recognize actual racism even when it’s pretty much staring them in the face. They’re not doing themselves or anyone else any favors either.)

        3. Decidedly Orthogonal

          What is actual racism as compared to something that isn’t racism?

        4. Taffy

          For one thing, you won’t find as many people trying to write something off as racist, compared to how many will bend themselves into knots trying to say that same thing isn’t.

          So like, if I upload a YouTube video “debating” the idea that Japanese people are overworked, versus if I upload one that’s just me brushing my teeth.

        5. Jeffrey

          Hey, it’s a ‘Moderate’:) You can tell because they’re always Very Concerned that racism be opposed in the Right Ways. And by who they went to ask what those Right Ways are.

      2. Hoboturtle

        Considering I’ve seen people straight up say they believe black people are generically dumber and still claim they aren’t racist as long as a racist doesn’t say they’re racist they will feel like they have enough deniability.

        1. Hof1991

          Neither their bones nor their hearts are racist.

        2. Needfuldoer

          They’ll bend their minds into a pretzel, if it means they don’t have to confront the thought that maybe they’re not the perfect, flawless protagonist of life.

        3. Wizard

          There’s at least some evidence suggesting differences in intelligence between races. Pre-judging people on this base is pretty stupid, though. First off, race as a scientific concept is more than a little questionable. Second, these are only averages and they were very small, much smaller than normal variation within each race.

        4. Decidedly Orthogonal

          [citation needed]

          But these little slights you’re tossing about sound like a troll on a fishing trip.

        5. The Oracle

          You made that up just now, you big fibber.

        6. azrael

          Welcome to 1840: population you.

          Pseudo-scientists have been trying to justify their harted with these faked studies “proving” that non-whites had smaller skulls, smaller brains, etc… since there were people who called themselves scientists. Not a single bit was found to be fact; just worthless drivel being touted by racists so they could call themselves better, all because the only thing they have to be proud of was an accident of birth.

        7. NGPZ

          Yup. Real science today confirms that when categorized by race, individuals display more genetic diversity among themselves than the entire human species.

          But see what happens when you abandon the realm of appeal to raw power / privilege and pretend to use science to “prove” pervasive, poisonous prejudices. There are always REAL scientists who are willing to check your facts.

        8. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Are we, like, talking about adeptness for memorizing long division answers-type intelligence, or the kind that matters when it comes to approving or fearing whom the other parent of your grandchildren might be?

          …Or is that too nuanced a take for how those kind of folk view the world? Another thing to consider is that the United States traditionally has a very-skin color-centric definition of what is really just a plainer way to say nationality/ethnicity/cultural background, as far as the word goes, rooted in our long history of flamboyantly brutal chattel enslavement and dehumanitizing of Americans with African roots, and genocide both cultural and literal of the people of the previous nations from where we live, I’m afraid.

        9. not someone else

          That’s true! It turns out the entire concept of “intelligence” as a singular and definable thing comes from eugenics and is pretty useless for modern science, not to mention, as you mentioned, “race” having no clearly definable biological basis, rather than a social one.

          Speaking of social bases, have you considered this might be a really worrying and off-putting discussion to just drop into the middle of a thread? Because it is.

        10. Mark

          See, if the statistics bear it out, using fair tests (supposing someone comes up with one), then it isn’t racism but realism, so they would be right.

          But OTOH the inventor of the IQ test couldn’t satisfactorily define “intelligence”, and we don’t know much more today about what “intelligence” is. So I’m inclined to say to any such statistics: “that’s mildly interesting, but what does it actually tell us, and is it worth anything to know that?”

          The best use of such statistics, I think, is that when you find someone taking them seriously, do not let him near the levers of power.

        11. NGPZ

          The concept of IQ and IQ tests have a horrendous history of being used to uphold white supremacy / systematic ableism, eugenics, etc. Source:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2bKaw2AJxs

    2. Furie

      “Think of it like bathroom suites! White is right!” – Linda

  3. NGPZ

    Whatever ya say, Paula Deen! ?

  4. Yotomoe

    Decided to do an early release on this cuz I’m so proud of it. The trist between Lucy, Amber and Walky.
    NSFW

    1. Sirksome

      It’s not a real threesome unless you have to hide a body after!

      1. Doug D

        Or during!

      2. Opus the Poet

        I never had to hide any bodies after any of my threesomes. And I’ve had several in many combinations of gender.

        1. Gwyn

          That is an awfully specific and definitely not at all suspicious denial.

        2. Opus the Poet

          “Nobody died”

        3. Ray Radlein

          “I never had to hide any bodies”

    2. BarerMender

      I’m always up for Amber unclad. Hubba Hmmph! Mmmph… *Walky desperately tries to tap out.*

    3. TheKelliestKelly

      That’s super good! I can see why you’re proud of it. It’s hot and well drawn

    4. TulipKitten

      Wally (muffled): Today is a good day to die.

      1. TulipKitten

        Goddamn autocorrect. It’s Walky, not Wally.

    5. cbwroses

      I mean, if I have to go, I’d choose death by snu snu, too.

    6. Kyrik Michalowski

      Well done, you’ve fulfilled many hopes(boners) on this day. Really nice work man, you should be proud.

    7. Enkrod

      The pyjamajeans really sell it!

    8. not someone else

      That is adorable.

    9. PirateTawnee

      Well that’s just brilliant. In so many ways.

    10. NGPZ

      Awesome work, Porn Lord Yoto! ☺️

    11. Clif

      We are not worthy!

    12. Rose by Any Other Name

      Excellent work, as always. *tips hat*

    13. Miri

      Amber’s blunt, but she’s perceptive. And I’m not sure if Walky is complaining…

  5. Uratnik

    Oh this is gonna go Horrifically.

    1. Lars

      Wait til Dorothy crashes in as well.

    2. Clif

      Well, yes. But how exactly? Is this going to result in team garbage getting back together, which sucks for Lucy. Is a white girlfriend for Walky going to demote Sal, which sucks for Sal who only wanted to feel what parental approval feels like for one night. Will Linda have an instant aneurysm, which sucks for Charles. Will Sal and Danny play along with bit or will Danny open his mouth and Danny it up. Will Amber and Danny reconnect and flee the drama together, which really sucks for Sal. Will Linda open her mouth and trigger the appearance of Amazigirl. Will Charles buy the wrong size shirt?

      And what about Naomi Dorothy?

      1. fridge_logic

        I’m betting on Danny opening his mouth in a way that escalates the situation: Danny, by calling out the sham between Walky and Amber, suddenly invites Carol to start pushing for Walky/Amber full force revealing her true feelings when she’s pushing for a relationship her own son doesn’t want.

        Dan will dan it up, but in a good way… Accelerationist Danny.

      2. Alan in DC

        Wow, there’s an obscure cultural reference if ever there was one.
        Electric Company, circa 1971 or so, correct?

  6. Gee

    I just want to see the look on her face when she realizes she has to choose whether to approve of the girl who stabbed her daughter, or a black girl.

    1. NGPZ

      Racist bongo gonna short circuit so bad, oooooh am I gonna SAVOR this!!!! ✌️?

      1. Clif

        Instead of either/or it can be neither.

    2. Retrikaethan

      oh, she’s gonna pick amber hands down. having stabbed sal is probably bonus points to her.

      1. TulipKitten

        But her dad also kidnapped Walky.

      2. cain

        She wanted to get Amber kicked out of school because of the stabbing plus Blaine’s actions, iirc.

        1. BBCC

          Mostly Blaine, let’s all be honest.

    3. temporaryobsessor

      I imagine out of her four choices she’s going to choose Danny, because so long as one of her kids has a SO she approves of she doesn’t have to approve of anyone elses.

      1. Devin

        Yeah but Danny doesn’t want to date Walky!

        1. Clif

          Not yet, but Linda hasn’t explained the advantages.

    4. Angel

      even if she ‘s neutral about lucy in the end hopefully they won’t stick around again for too long

    5. David

      Her daughter is black for all she cares. Getting stabbed by a white person is normal social interaction.

    6. Needfuldoer

      Does Linda know this Amber is that Amber? Maybe things will be civil.

      … for a bit, then they drop the bombshell!

      1. Needfuldoer

        They could plausibly suspect she isn’t, because they don’t know someone else started paying for her tuition after Blaine died.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/marketplace/

        1. Clif

          Well, she must know someone else is paying her mom’s legal bills if she’s repeatedly sued her.

      2. Angel

        probably not yet but given that lucy also knows i assume she’d also tell her

    7. Chubsius

      I can almost see Linda telling Amber: “at least what you did set our daughter back on the right path.” Or some other other b.s. At least, that’s what I think would cause the most “damn you Willis!” in the comments.

    8. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Hopefully it’ll come up that no amount of suing Amber’s codependent mother will change the fact she couldn’t do any more than the next lily-white climber or climber-wannabe of a suburban household about Blaine when there was still time, and is just looking for someone connected to bully so she can feel like that isn’t the case…

      Barking demands at the police on how to do their jobs, which they are already faring much better than she would have in their place, doesn’t strike fear in men (hey, if you can call a bansai tree a tree, or a gremlin a car) like Blaine one bit.

      Wondering how much it’s costing her to try to sue Amber’s mother and Joyce’s broke old church?
      Her lawyer’s are gonna get paid either way, but on the small chance either will make it to court, it won’t be long before close to half of everyone in the courtroom quietly realizes Linda just wants to hear the sound of her own voice with these lawsuits

  7. TheCatCameBack

    Ah yes, a racist mother knows… how to be racist

  8. StClair

    yyyeah, this’ll be great when he shows up with Amber instead.

    1. Angel

      esp if sal says that walky’s actually serious, would make him come off as a player but idk if the parents wouldnecessairly think that’s a bad aspect other than potential stds/pregnancy scares

  9. Garry

    “I just want your brother to be with someone a bit… brighter! Maybe a girl with a…lighter tone!”

    1. True Survivor

      Of course, Aequorea victoria – the perfect girlfriend … and so successful in the sciences.

      Make sure she likes you though, rejection stings.

      1. cain

        Hang on, I need to Google something.

        …

        Yeah, that’s funny.

  10. butts

    okay yeah that was fast

  11. Shrub

    I mean shes right (Walky is a dick and Lucy wants to get some) but for very different reasons

    1. Vanessa

      Right. Sal might agree with her mom about Lucy not being a great choice AFTER a lunch with them but now Sal has to defend her. What is Sal going to think about Walky when he brings poor Amber, yikes, Lucy did not think this through.

      1. Shrub

        I’m also curious as to Dannys reaction when Amber comes in

        1. cain

          Oh, excellent point. This will be exciting.

        2. Shrub

          I wouldn’t be surprised if Linda ends up liking Amber because she’s quiet while everyone else loses their shit

      2. Clif

        “Lucy did not think this through.”

        Well, yes, but …

        Neither Lucy nor Walky had any reason to expect Sal and Danny to be there. It was made clear that Sal had other plans and wasn’t invited.

  12. Yotomoe

    “How about that girl Conquest? She looks nice. I can just tell on sight.”

    1. CrazyJ

      She calls it her white sight.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wikl6tJEPh0

      1. Yotomoe

        Haha Classic C&H

  13. Kyrik Michalowski

    I’m preparing popcorn for all this. Which might be a bad idea; eating popcorn for the next 2-4 weeks might cause health problems.

    1. Laura

      Not necessarily. Plain, air-popped popcorn. Made with a hot-air popper. Some garlic and curry powder, or maybe nutritional yeast and olive oil, or maybe some crumbled dried seaweed flakes and Sesame seeds, or maybe a little ginger and Coconut Aminos…
      Lots of ways to make popcorn a super healthy snack.

      1. NGPZ

        ? damn bruh that sounds tasty.

        Maybe I should get a hot air popper one of these days.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Bennedetto!

          Never forget! (That he still owes five bucks.)

      2. Taffy

        I keep seeing people talk about this “nutritional yeast” as a condiment. Before I go buying any, what’s it actually like?

        1. NGPZ

          Combined with mustard, it’s a vegan substitute for cheese, apparently. I dunno.

        2. Uly

          Depends on the brand. It can vary from mild and vaguely cheesy to strong and pretty beer-y.

        3. morleuca

          I like to spray a little tamari on the popcorn as the nutritional yeast

        4. David

          I think it’s essentially Marmite. Namely something that is ingested in former Commonwealth countries to atone for original sin or whatever but which nobody can understand the fascination off.

          Essentially pure umami, and about as suitable as a condiment as pure salt or pure bitterness or pure acidity.

      3. Kyrik Michalowski

        Curry powder air-popped popcorn does sound pretty delicious, I’ll have to try it out. Thanks for the info on how to improve popcorn.

        1. Laura

          Enjoy! :-9

  14. insertname

    Honestly kudos to Sal and Walky because i think if my parents were this racist id go no-contact. Linda is so insufferable

    1. Angel

      i mean i doubt sal kept in touch/wrote letters while she was in boarding school, so at least she enjoyed some time away from her parents

      1. Uly

        Oh, I bet she did write letters and call. The responses she got were probably… not great.

      2. BBCC

        She only seems to have heard from them for ‘lectures about how [she’s] a failure’.

    2. Scruffy looking nerfherder

      They basically are trying to, Sal doesn’t talk to him, Walky ignores all their texts. They’re the kind of annoying helicopter parents that show up whenever they feel like because they feel like they have ownership over them. Kids are parents property etc.

      I really need Linda’s backstory though, I need to know how she can be racist but also have decided to marry a black man, gotta assume there was a lot of one of the good one gymnastics at work.

      1. Angel

        i mean hopefully they care for each other and don’t just stick it out for the kids/money but there are ppl who can be racist and fetishize ppl at hte same time. Maybe teh husbands being mixed/white passing is ‘good enough’ like how walky calls him self “generically beige”

        1. cain

          I think it’s more likely Linda thinks of Charles as “one of the good ones.” Charles has a lot of physically Black traits, like his hair, and he’s darker-skinned than the kids. Linda seems pretty focused on the idea of non-white people as “criminals” and “delinquents” as we saw with Marcie and Sal’s other friends, so if Charles proved he was “upstanding” and especially if he agreed with her “delinquency” comments, he would probably win some favor with her.

  15. RassilonTDavros

    Huh. Seeing Sal and Linda interact even this much is… kinda surreal.

    1. StClair

      imagine how Sal feels.
      especially knowing it’s almost entirely because of Danny.

  16. Nono

    For some reason, seeing Sal refer to Linda’s son, right to her, “my bro” feels like a weird disconnect. Just say “Bro and Lucy or even David and Lucy” if she hates calling him Walky that much.

    1. Angel

      well, “my bro” might be closer/kinda separating the connection to linda in a way, or she’s so used to not being near linda that she said ‘my bro’ as if linda was just some distance aquaintance

    2. Swissaboo

      I think it’s mostly habitual. She refuses to call him walky and if she ever said david everyone ELSE she’s around would go “who!?!?!?” so, “my bro.”

      1. Random832

        Got to say, as a fellow sibling of someone who uses their last name as a nickname with their peer group, I am *entirely* on her side in refusing to call him Walky.

    3. Taffy

      I’m more put off by Linda referring to the table as a “six-top”. Never once heard a person say that phrase.

      1. Random832

        Apparently it’s a restaurant industry term. Indicating that Linda has worked as a waitress at some point?

        1. Devin

          Or may have just socialized with one. That’s how I learned it.

        2. Ray Radlein

          Or even watched restaurant TV shows like Kitchen Nightmares

        3. Clif

          Is it a restaurant term? I just assumed from context and Sal pointing out she was expecting two more that it just meant a table top meant to seat six people. What does it actually mean to waitresses?

        4. Ray Radlein

          It’s a restaurant term meaning a table that seats six.

    4. Needfuldoer

      Sal just very rarely uses names, and calling him “Walky” wouldn’t make much sense since that’s also her surname.

      “You wouldn’t expect a sister to call her brother ‘father'”
      – Father Mulcahy, M*A*S*H S07E26 “The Party”

  17. Yotomoe

    “Are they a permanent thing” is a weird question about two kids dating in their first semester of college to be honest. I don’t think anything about his current life is permanent.

    1. Angel

      I htink it’s been like a week or like 9-10 days at most in universe, sal said something about them not lasting 2 but i’m sure she’ll vouch for lucy just to spite her mom (i don’t think sal rly had anything against lucy or just assumes it wouldn’t last because of walky’s…walky-ness lol but i don’t think she’d have a reason to care enough to get involved otherwise)

  18. Suet

    Linda’s statement can bode whatever it wants to be because Walky’s bringing Amber in.

    Also… CONQUEST!

    1. NickG

      ‘Co-ooonnn-quest’, in the style of the White Stripes.

  19. Animedingo

    Is it even possible to get someone to acknowledge their own prejudice?

    1. Angel

      i wonder if she’s rly been confronted about it before

    2. Leorale

      It is! But it requires the person to be a whole lot more humble and eager to learn than Linda seems to be.

      1. Leorale

        (I mean there must be some ways to increase the likelihood that a person who doesn’t want to learn will decide to learn, after all. Teachers sometimes specialize in that skill. But that sounds really difficult, and unlikely to work on Linda anytime soon.)

    3. Ray Radlein

      Some people will voluntarily do it, as a kind of power move ☹️

    4. Needfuldoer

      Not when they don’t have the capacity to even entertain the notion that they might be wrong in any way.

  20. Jamie

    … I didn’t read yesterday’s strip until now and I had forgotten this means the awkward dinner will now include Amber/Danny interactions. I kinda hope Danny looks at his phone when Amber inevitably texts him an explanation mid-dinner.

    1. gingercake

      Oh my god, I had not considered this. The only thing that could make it even more dramatic is if Joyce walks in with Joe and loudly accuses Walky of cheating on Lucy with Amber, right before Lucy walks in to assert herself.

      1. Mark

        Opportunity! “Mom, this ‘ridiculous charade’ was to shake up your thinking. You’ve treated Sal horribly all her life, and now you’re starting in on this girl that I…really like (looks away from Lucy) and I won’t have it!!!”

      2. smolgrlboi

        I am re-converting to Christianity specifically so I can pray that this happens holy crap it’d be hilarious

    2. aelfwine

      Yeah, the loop it’ll throw at Sal and Danny, innocent bystanders unlike the guilty Charles/Linsa, would honestly be my main objection to the plan. Walky/Lucy/Amber didn’t even take them into consideration.

      1. Clif

        You can’t hold characters responsible for what they don’t know, particularly when they have a valid reason for thinking otherwise. Why in the world would extended team garbage take into account people who weren’t going to be there?

        I’m thinking back to all the people blaming Danny for things he had no possible way of knowing. I understand that it can be difficult to model other people accurately, but keeping track of who knows what is kind of basic for dealing with other people. And this seems somewhat linked in practice to making moral judgements on the basis of rules that aren’t actually rules.

        Now excuse me while I go back and continue to seek revenge on all you evil people who didn’t wish me “happy birthday” back on my birthday which I’ve never mentioned before. And when I succeed; just remember you had it coming!!!

        1. temporaryobsessor

          While that depends a little on how and why they don’t know it thats 100% true for this particular situation.

        2. Mark

          Well, then, a Very Merry Un-Birthday to you!

        3. Clif

          I like you. You shall be the last to die.

  21. TulipKitten

    Sal is not in on the plan. He could have given her a heads up.

    1. Leorale

      That would’ve been great, except, last he heard, Sal wasn’t planning to be there at all.

      1. TulipKitten

        Oh dang, you’re right! This is gonna be a dumpster fire.

        1. Leorale

          Totally. I hope you brought marshmallows.

      2. Ray Radlein

        Also, we’ve already established that he’s not exactly the best at keeping Sal in the loop on all things Linda

  22. Leorale

    I really like the panel beat in which Sal considers whether to give her honest opinion vs. whether to trouble her mother for being all racist. It really lets us affirm Sal’s good choice here.

  23. BBCC

    God, I hate Linda.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      I wonder how much of Linda’s shit Sal will put up with before she takes Danny and leaves.

      Maybe 10 – 15 minutes into dinner?

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Or supper, depending on personal upbringing.

        1. Laura

          In the Appalachians, “Dinner” and “Supper” are two different meals. “Dinner” means “lunch” (or a late lunch).

        2. Kyrik Michalowski

          I know, but some people use Dinner to refer to the last meal of the day; I consider Supper to be the last meal of the day, and dinner/lunch for the middle of the day meal.

        3. Clif

          Breakfast is the first meal of the day and can be pretty substantial or as light as a pop tart. Supper is the last meal of the day. Lunch is a light meal in the middle of the day. Dinner is the first substantial meal following breakfast and can either replace lunch or occur at supper time.

          All of this is predicated on three meals a day and goes out the window if you are a Hobbit.

  24. True Survivor

    I like to think the menu’s don’t have any words on them because Galasso feels that would be too kind to the customer. One final practical joke at the guests expense before they order – conveniently not knowing the expense.

    1. Laura

      An un-menu.

      The Platonic form of a menu.

      A symbolic menu.

      1. NGPZ

        I mean at the Pizza places I know, the menu ain’t that complex that it needs to be printed on both sides. Pizzas, toppings, drinks, maybe some wings and/or salad, that’s it for the most part.

    2. Angel

      other than some ‘unique’ toppings or specific sides, it is just a pizza place, unless galasso’s expanded

      then again it’s the type of place that also has a bartender

      1. NGPZ

        Oh but it has expanded! It’s Galasso’s Pizza (AND Subs!) XD

  25. Amós Batista

    Tell us why Lucy doesn’t look like the right girl for Walky. C’mon, don’t be shy, tell us.

    1. Needfuldoer

      “Because she just doesn’t! I just know. Don’t question me.”

      – Linda, avoiding saying the words out loud

  26. William

    I’m interested to seeing how Sal reacts to what’s coming. She’s no fan of Amber, but she might see the rage it’ll cause in Linda and find it to her liking? Either way, Linda deserves the blood pressure spike that’s undoubtedly coming her way. My only fear is that Amber will somehow screw up Sal and Danny’s relationship.

    1. JessWitt

      I was too focused on how Linda will react to Amber that I didn’t consider what Danny will think of her and Walky and vice versa with Sal and Danny.

      This dinner will go heavy on the drama.

  27. Angel

    “Are they a permanent thing?”

    Well they were just a pair of teenagers having a fun time for like a week but now they’re getting engaged just to piss you off.

    1. Angel

      ;lol that’d be a fun thing to do as a teen/young adult just as an excuse to party with all your friends

      well, some ppl can get married young and it lasting but i’m sure some ppl would do it as a ‘bit’ like, “I’m gonna get married and divorce as many ppl as i can within the next 5 years” or so with their friend group or so XD;

      (that might raise suspicion with some ppl but as long as no one dies on life insurance or like a green card marriage i don’t think that’s suspicious [tho might be useful in the future, if ppl are nagging you about being in ur 30s and single, you can say “well i’ve divorced over 3 times” versus never married, no shame in that but hopefully ppl would back off after that])

    2. Mark

      Eh, some people use “permanent” rather loosely. It could mean “do you think David will stick with her past the next time some other pretty girl makes eyes at him?” IOW are they committed enough to develop deeper feelings that could *really* be permanent.

    3. Hof1991

      A permanent thing is a little weird for someone on her second husband.

  28. Sirksome

    Walky is still on his way to Galasso’s with Amber right? Does this conversation now mean that stupid fake girlfriend plan is dead in the water before it even starts? I wouldn’t put Linda past rolling with Walky showing up with a white girl in spite of this information, but I’m not sure how it will play out now.

  29. Golden Yak

    This *has* to be a put on. It’s gonna turn out she’s not racist, we’ll get something that’ll recontextualize everything and it’ll all just be a coincidence.

    *All a coincidence.*

    1. Angel

      I mean, it’d be hard to compare to a Yale-hopeful like Dorothy, but if Lucy wasn’t black, I’d think the only issue is like “Oh he’s just dating a nerdy/female ver of himself” or so, which also isn’t bad but i can imagine the mom being like Raidah and wanting him to date someone with ‘connections’

      1. thejeff

        But she reacted like that before she could have had any idea who Lucy was or what she was like.
        Turned right to the only white girl in the group, who she also knew nothing about.

        1. Gwyn

          This. It reminds me a bit of when I worked in Harlem, a center of black culture, and other white people would consistently flag me (a white person) down on the street for directions, rather than talking to any of the hundreds of black people in their immediate vicinity. One suburban couple even told me they were thinking of buying a house and asked if the neighborhood was “safe.”

        2. Gwyn

          Apologies for the failure of correct capitalization on Black. I noticed it as soon as I hit send.

        3. Gwyn

          Apologies for not correctly capitalizing Black.

    2. Bash

      I’d enjoy that but I really do not know what this other factor could be.

  30. Laura

    …Is it too early for a game? I’m about to go to sleep, so I can’t wait longer to post it.

    Here’s the question:

    We need some popcorn for the drama / fireworks show to come.
    What is your favorite popcorn recipe?

    1. NGPZ

      it ain’t too early by my reckoning

      Popcorn recipe? I dunno, I like extra butter, and on one occasion rainbow candied popcorn. ?

    2. Angel

      can’t go wrong wit hcaramel corn. I don’t dislike cheddar popcorn but it can be too strong, be nice if a lighter one was common

      One popcorn stand in my mall had a ‘cinnamon option’ but i never did get to try it

    3. Dante

      We like it sweet on this side of the Equator Line. Caramel popcorn is a classic, can’t go wrong with it. The savory buttered kind is more of a recent introduction, though I do like it as well. It’s good just like that, and even better with chili flakes :33

      1. Laura

        Yum! :-9

    4. Taffy

      Take bag out of box. Take bag out of second, transparent bag. Put bag in microwave oven. Press button labeled “Popcorn”. Wait for pops to be done. Eat.

      1. Mark

        Hey, that’s my favorite recipe too!

    5. not someone else

      Buy bag of cheese flavor. Enjoy.

      …But seriously, my boyfriend makes this stuff with garlic that isn’t bad.

    6. Ray Radlein

      My favorite comes via Terry Pratchett and CMOT Dibbler: “If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes just like salted butter!”

      1. Clif

        Popcorn, garlic butter. To hell with the salt.

    7. anonymsly

      I have a salt mix that includes garlic salt and nutritional yeast that’s delicious. Also, kettle corn! Sugar + salt.

    8. Needfuldoer

      The microwave bags with the oily fake butter stuff are good enough for me.

  31. Insanenoodlyguy

    Well, Sarah thinks the same, so clearly Linda has the right idea!

  32. Bryy

    Welp.
    Glad I’m off to SDCC tomorrow so I can read all of this disasterpiece theater in one sitting on the 25th.

    1. NGPZ

      ? Have fun!!! That sounds awesome!

      1. NGPZ

        In fact it’s the perfect time to make that laser attack for Dinosaur Cousin Squad…

  33. Taffy

    “She’s a DC fan, I could smell it on her.”

    1. Taffy

      “A mother knows.” Yes, but which mother, specifically? Like, name one. One. One mother who knows. How does she know? Why isn’t she the one talking, instead of Linda? What’s with this Mouth of Sauron act?

      1. not someone else

        Well, clearly, it’s the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, which is why she’s speaking through Linda. Lucy is way too nice to help her son achieve The Prophecy.

        1. Taffy

          Fuck the woods.

        2. Ray Radlein

          I’m sure that’s what the poor goat says, too, after raising a thousand kids

        3. Clif

          It was a thousand Young. No-one said anything about kids.

        4. Ray Radlein

          What else do you call a young goat, though?

        5. Clif

          well yeah, but the point of the goat with a thousand young is that it wasn’t goats he was out there cavorting with.

        6. thejeff

          Ia!

      2. Angel

        lol i could never be a parent, other than not wanting kids i’m also not the best judge of charas, while some should be supervised to a point i could easily send one to get liek a broken bone with a ‘rowdy’ kid as easily as someone who just wants to gently play with arts and crafts

        or just say the opposite and expect a kid to double down rather than listen to me like that one leslie parks and rec scene “our kids are falling in love; remember ,we have to pretend we don’t approve” XD

  34. Rikunda

    This is going to backfire so bad… I know there is bad blood but I just get this feeling… The mom is going to love her.

    1. Mollyscribbles

      They can improvise, see how awful they can get before it crosses a line for her. Amber starts discussing her plans to start a cult, maybe.

    2. Zaxares

      “She’s quiet, obedient, doesn’t talk back, and most of all, WHITE! She’s PERFECT for my little boy!” 😛

    3. Wraithy2773

      I have a feeling that Amber will absolutely resist being liked by Linda. She doesn’t want to be with Walky right now and is fully on-board with the plan.

      If problems arise, it’d more likely be from Sal or Danny not understanding what the fuck is going on and not playing along properly.

  35. Jess

    re: the alt text: I respect it

  36. PirateTawnee

    I guess Sal doesn’t know the song, but answering Linda’s “are they serious?” with a “You never can tell.” would be very clever.

  37. Random832

    Wait. Has Walky not told Sal about The Plan?

    1. Icalasari

      Oh this will be a glorious dumpster fire

    2. Ray Radlein

      As others have pointed out, Walky doesn’t know Sal is going to be there after all

  38. The Oracle

    This is just like that episode of Star Wars.

    1. Ray Radlein

      “Into Onto the garbage chute roof. flyboy”

  39. Bin

    Man, any girl ain’t good enough when Conquest is right there.

    1. The Oracle

      Right there and seventeen, maximum.

      1. BBCC

        Walky’s only 18. That wouldn’t be an inappropriate relationship.

        1. thejeff

          I believe she was 16 last semester, but she could have had a birthday since then.

  40. HueSatLight

    Ken’s going to have a lot to tell Arnold about what happened at work, and I wish we’d get to see that classic[shortpacked] Arnold response.

  41. Uly

    …does Sal refer to Walky as “my bro” when speaking to their parents? That’s… really… well, it’s a thing.

    1. Amelie Wikström

      Charles calls him “son” I’m pretty sure, so calling David Walkerton “David” would be a thing only she and Linda has in common. . .

      Okay it’s possible she’s just developed a habit to stop everyone asking who David is.

      1. Nono

        I think calling him Bro is fine, it’s consistent, but the addition of ‘My’ just makes it a bit weirder. It’s like when a couple is arguing and going ‘do you know what YOUR kids did today?’.

        1. Big Z

          In this case, it feels like that in a good way, like Sal’s staking out that she finds her sibling relationship more important/solid than the parent-child relationships.

    2. Mark

      Could be a mark of affection. He can be annoying and yet still be the only person in the home who made her feel valued.

  42. Juanoku

    Oh
    Oh she’s the fucking worst huh

  43. Da Boy

    Go sit over there with Ragyo and Prospera you Mother-of-the-Year material.

  44. Kaz

    To be fair, Sal’s diagnosis is based around her brother’s ineptitude that she’s witnessed all of his life. Their mother saying “she doesn’t seem right for him” is putting it squarely on Lucy, knowing nothing about her other than her skin color.

    1. Wraithy2773

      Possibly. But I do think Sal’s wrong to assume it’ll end so fast, that its based on a version of Walky that might not be accurate anymore.

    2. Bash

      Her diagnosis that they seem serious? Does “acting like” they are serious imply that she expects them to break up soon?

      1. thejeff

        Her earlier diagnosis, referenced in the alt-text.

  45. Grimey

    Sal not immediately realizing her mom is right but not for the right reasons.

    1. Grimey

      I don’t know why autocorrect put a ‘not’ in there.

    2. Bash

      Why would Sal feel they are not a good couple? Does she even know Lucy that well?

      1. pope suburban

        When Lucy asked Sal to go on a double date, Sal certainly had opinions about the viability of the relationship. Which, I now see, having found that strip, isn’t the first time she’d expressed skepticism about it. She told Lucy at one point that she thought it would last two weeks. Granted, that initial assessment was based on Lucy’s skill at armpit farts, but still. Sal knows her brother and she’s repeatedly expressed doubts about Lucy, who she’s spent a fair amount of time with at this point. While we don’t have a specific big reason from her yet, Sal has doubt and she is usually pretty astute about this kind of thing.

  46. Wraithy2773

    The $100 question at this point is basically “Is Linda cognizant of her racism?” (with a side-question of if Charles is aware of it, or his own contribution to that whole mess)

    And I don’t know what the answer to that is, truth be told. Obviously she’s prejudiced-on-sight against Lucy, and isn’t questioning that, and is arrogantly presumptive about how right she is about it all…

    …but I dunno, I also see her as the sort that would go positively mental if someone called Walky or Sal the N-word in front of her. I honestly just hope someone confronts her about it soon, just so that we see how she reacts to such an accusation.

    1. Bash

      She’s absolutely the kind of liberal who doesn’t acknowledge their own biases.

    2. Big Z

      I’ve met more than one person in this situation who have internalized both the “well, the ones I’M close to are the ‘good ones’, the rest are awful” narratives and this weird kind of one-drop-rule in reverse, which combine to create a narrative that goes something like: “My husband is one of the good ones, my kids are ‘white’ because I’m white and my husband is a ‘good one’, those other kids are ‘black’ because you can’t trust that any of them are a ‘good one’.”

      1. Big Z

        I should clarify–this is, of course, still insanely racist.

    3. BBCC

      I think she already has heard it – Sal told her she knows the reason Linda doesn’t like Marcie. Linda rolled her eyes.

  47. Rabisch

    I know Lucy and Walky’s plan is absurd and will probably do more harm than good. But it would be SO awesome if Amber could actually disgust Linda so much to make Lucy looks like an angel saving her son from the biggest disaster ever. I hope Sal and Danny figure out what’s going on and help upset Linda as much as possible. I want to hope the next strips with be a lot of laughs at Linda’s expenses.

    1. Bash

      That’s basically the plan here, so I’d be surprised if it actually worked as intended.

  48. nicoleandmaggie

    I wonder if Linda’s racism is intersectional– maybe she’s extra racist against Black women.

    1. Nep

      My comment below was meant to be here – I think you’re onto something here. Misogynoir is real. And I could firmly see Linda being more judgmental towards women and girls in general, like a lot of women who have particular views about how things are supposed to be. More of those supposed to bes are generally aimed at women.

    2. Amelie Wikström

      The next step will be introducing Jacob as Walky’s fake boyfriend to test for misogyny and homophobia at the same time. (Jacob will never be bribed to go along with it.)

    3. Heather

      That… would be quite plausible honestly. Like the favoured kid was the boy. She’s married to a black man. Other than her daughter (and we all know how she’s done there) the only other black woman she’s briefly/barely interacted with was Lucy and it was painful.

  49. Nep

    I think you’re onto something here.

  50. David

    Frankly, the “not the right kind of girl for him” crap is enfuriatingly condescending for any reason. Not just for the worst reasons whatsoever.

  51. wilddeath

    It has been way too long since we had a “shitty parent dies” moment…

  52. Yeet

    okay now I kind of want to see lucy get called into work by coincidence and end up serving the shitshow, party of six

  53. Needfuldoer

    How would Conquest know they’d need a table for six, anyway?

    1. Da Boy

      I’m sorry but every time I see “Conquest” here I imagine the murderous Viltrumite Grandpa from Invincible.

    2. Wizard

      She asked? Hosts usually do. Some places have a policy of not seating people until the entire party is there, but most will unless they’re extremely busy

  54. Tesset

    Was looking for the menu of a local pizza place with a basic Italian name today, and typed variants on “Galasso’s” into google 3 times before realizing that was from this comic lmao

  55. ninja_jesus

    I can’t wait for the big questions to happen. “Mom, why are you a racist despite having a black husband? Dad, why do you enable this racist behavior?” Of course, it wouldn’t be said like that but I expect this whole thing to blow up once everyone gets together.

    1. NGPZ

      Uhm, I doubt it kinda? If you’re waiting for the moment Charles agrees that Linda has done something unequivocally and inexcusably racist, you’re underestimating how long white / white-passing moderates can equivocate.

      1. Adam Black

        I dont even think Charles identifies as Black. That might be at the root of this.

  56. Grayfinity

    Prejudice, fetishizing asshat.

  57. Koname

    Sal definitely knows that this is a “yer right for all of the wrong reasons” moment but can’t bear saying that because that would mean saying her mom is right.

  58. Icalasari

    OH GOD I JUST REALIZED! Danny and Amber will be there at the same time as well! And with Danny’s dislike of Walky…

    Oh man, this needs a LOT of popcorn

  59. JasonAW3

    The thing that gets me is that it APPEARS that certain races seem to have better strengths in different areas, but this may be because of the roles that society, be it local or international, force them into.
    Put simpler, if we let people evolve their personal strengths, without cultural or societal biases, I suspect that we would see a fairly equal distribution of strengths and weaknesses amongst people, regardless of ethnicity.
    Biases imposed by one’s culture, presents a formidable impediment to the elimination of prejudice…
    Until we can recognise that it’s not just individual people’s biases that we need to change, but both the society and culture as a whole, there can not be any real hope for meaningful change.

  60. Adam Black

    I think, speculate this night might go poorly for sal.
    and she will be pissed, her bro is ruinign things

    How Linda will react to Amber is a wildcard. but for some reason I dont think Sal will acrue the Good Girl points she wants for just one night.

  61. Dday

    🙁

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