162

Skip
Posted on February 25, 2017 by David M Willis

162 thoughts on “Skip”

  1. K^2

    Was it all just for the pun?

    1. Leorale

      I don’t know, is zit?

      1. K^2

        That was a serious question. Don’t turn it into a butt of a joke.

        1. damoinion

          But it can only be truly appreciated after the taint is allowed to fester and come to a head.

          *leaving now*

        2. Charlie Spencer

          These comments keep popping up, but they’ll squeeze in.

  2. Osopescado

    I Know them college laundry feels.

  3. tyersome

    This taint nice …

  4. CleverTrousers

    Walkertons just can’t help ruining the McHenrys’ days, weeks, and lives can they?

  5. Taigan

    Tony does not want to be in this conversation… and yet, there he is.

    1. tim gueguen

      He should realise hearing about Walky’s dubious hygiene is still better than attracting Mike’s attention.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      I just imagined this comment being read aloud by Ignis (from Final Fantasy XV).

  6. tbf

    The whole point of underwear is you wear and wash it so you don’t have to wash your pants that often. Thanks to underwear, I can wash the jeans I wear every day only once a month.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Pardon me while I move upwind…..

      1. tbf

        I wash ’em when stained or smelly.

        1. Rukduk

          Well damn, and here I was washing my jeans after only two days of wear.

        2. Leorale

          My college boyfriend said he washed his pants “when they started to hurt”. O.o

        3. inqntrol

          Did they get a conscience and tried to strangle him or something?

        4. StClair

          Sounds like diaper rash…

        5. Leorale

          I think, like, the legs of them got stiff with campus dirt and his own dead skin. He showered regularly, and changed his underwear, it was just, his pants.

        6. Leorale

          although his pants strangling him is also a very solid theory. They must have been a thriving ecosystem.

        7. JohnInCA

          But did they strangle him in the moonlight?

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        I keep two weeks’ worth of pants hanging in my closet. Every day I grab a new pair and re-hang the old one. I figure two weeks of airing out takes care of any detectable hygiene problems. Two cycles of this gets me three wearings per laundry cycle and six weeks between pants-related laundering.

        OTOH, I can’t imagine wearing the same underwear two days in a row. I have had jock itch once. I have no intention of ever having it again.

    2. A Scientist

      Just once a month? Man, I must be sweaty. I only get two wears out of mine.

    3. ArcaneDarkness

      I wear them at least a week. In the weekend I put the old one in the washing machine and begin using a new one (so the jeans are the most clean in the weekend, when sometimes I see my friends).

    4. qman

      I only get two or three days out of my pants. They usually start to smell after the second day, but sometimes last a little longer. I have worn them more times when I didn’t have any other option, though (like staying somewhere and I didn’t bring more clothes).

    5. DavidMcG

      Pfft. I wash my pants twice a year.

  7. Emperor Daniel

    TMI, Walky.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Felt the same way.  Did we really need to know that?

    2. Doctor_Who

      I rarely use TMI, but in cases such as this, it is clearly warranted.

      1. Clif

        Yep.

  8. Luzahn

    =(

  9. shadowcell

    ARNOLD

    he is still a good egg

  10. Leorale

    I would like to state my appreciation for the bulletin board display in the first panel.

    1. BBCC

      YES

  11. Tommy Fresh

    Consent IS cool 🙂

    1. Clif

      Joe put it up to encourage others to consent.

      1. Emperor Daniel

        …in the Beck wing?

        1. Clif

          I assume all over the building for maximum exposure.

  12. Passchendaele

    It is disturbing how, when you look past Mike’s theatrics, just how accurate his sense of perception is. It doesn’t help that Walky isn’t good at hiding anything, no matter how gross. 😛

    1. Passchendaele

      And where did Mike get that shirt? He’s like a walking middle finger these days.

      1. Clif

        I thinks it’s probably one of those little DOA mysteries that will never be solved. You know, kind of like “Why isn’t Joe tagged in http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/drafty/ “

        1. BBCC

          Because that’s not Joe yelling at them, it’s some random girl we’re never going to meet.

          She’s probably very nice.

    2. Rowen Morland

      I always wondered if that was his unique abductee power in IW, he had a kind of limited telepathy and empathy so he was constantly bombarded with the most shameful thoughts that people wanted to hide.

      1. Passchendaele

        That doesn’t actually sound out of the range of possibility, as the IW abductees tended to have some specialization (like with Robin), and IW Mike had an unnatural talent for manipulation, on top of, as far as I know, not having a specialized power mentioned explicitly. Still, he tended to rely more on cheap and nasty jokes than the elaborate schemes he pulls these days.

    3. Oz

      Mike is like an evil Dorothy. He has spreadsheets.

  13. miados

    zits in odd places are annoying. i once had one in my ear.

    1. Leorale

      As long as your ear didn’t get it from unwashed underwear.

    2. Reltzik

      The ones I hate the most are inside my nostrils.

      1. MatsuoTanuki

        O~o How…?

        1. Clif

          As long as it didn’t come from unwashed underwear, it’s all good.

        2. Reltzik

          ……

          *invokes right to remain silent*

        3. AndieStardust

          As long as you’re not silencing yourself with unwashed underwear, you’re fine.

        4. Reltzik

          *mimes a double pun on the word “gag”*

        5. Emperor Daniel

          Very well, as long as it’s not a pun about unwashed underwear.

        6. Ntrovert

          People who don’t wash their underwear SHOULD be gagged with their own dirty underwear. Just saying.

      2. Yumi

        I hate the ones that are right on the lip line.

      3. qman

        Yeah, ear ones are bad but inside the nose is the worst. I’d have to say that on the outside of the nose right by the nostrils is also worse than in the ear, because it builds up tons of pressure and is really painful before it comes to a head.

    3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Ear zits are the worst – I had one, and that ear has never been the same.

      1. miados

        and depending on what part of the ear it can be forever and a day to figure out how to pop it.

  14. Kris

    I don’t care if you have the “I’m in college” excuse. Save your quarters. Wash your damn clothes.

    1. Fart Captor

      At the very least, wash your damn underwear

      1. Hellespont

        Rotate, then wash. One week inside, one week outside. Then two more days inside cause they have aired, which is almost like cleaning.

  15. Koms

    Walky ew

    1. Leorale

      Seriously how does Dorothy put up with hygiene that bad, he must smell like pee and old sweat, there must be some caramel-sculpted boys on this campus who have heard of soap.

      1. Rukduk

        Lots of cologne and deodorant?

        1. Clif

          He trades underwear with the Duke of Thingie.

      2. Emily

        I don’t understand how Dorothy puts up with most facets of Walky as a person. He’s basically a particularly immature 12 year old boy in an adult body.

        1. Ntrovert

          You have pretty well captured the essence of the dominant culture of the 18-25 males. Exceptions tend to prove the rule.

        2. Emily

          I am so glad I’m a lesbian because damn is that depressing.

    2. Reltzik

      Comment + Grav = Win.

      1. Schpoonman

        Then you’re gonna love my comment.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Schpoonman, you are hereby no longer allowed by Us to make your own comments. All of your comments must be replies to someone else, so that you can always stare disapprovingly of the commenter above you.

          For this service, We hereby grant you a boon in the form of a choice. Either
          a) Have your feet become magically immune to the pain from stepping on Legos,
          b) have your hands become magically immune to the pain from when your elbow hits that exact spot (you know what I mean, right), or
          c) have your brain become magically immune from the pain of reading Our silly posts.

        2. Schpoonman

          Does the protection from Lego expand and cover other, lesser pain, or is it a spell that only activates in proximity to Lego?

    3. Schpoonman

      Seriously, Walky, what the fuck?

  16. Rob Carlson

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????????????

  17. Mr. Random

    Less Passive agressive,
    More reassuring that he can make it through it if he tries.

  18. Keulan

    Dammit Walky, wash your clothes more often. Pretty sure most girls find bad hygiene unattractive.

  19. DuckDuckMoose

    David, I really really hope Mike’s arc for this volume involves setting him up for a big fall. Like, a literal fall. I want to see him tumble from a height and break his dick. Either that or add him to the Ryan-beating brigade. Because this universe can’t take much more of peak Mike attacking the most vulnerable people in sight.

  20. JessWitt

    Long time no see, Arnold. Hope college life is treating him fine.

  21. Rukduk

    In Tony’s head: “This is weirder than when that one guy thought I would beat him up if he said he was gay just because I’m jock. Well, more mentally damaging at least.”

  22. Meta

    pretty sure you just lost all the goodwill yesterday’s comic earned you, Willis

    1. Clif

      The universe must remain in balance.

  23. spriteless

    I normally imagine Mike speaking in a monotone. But when he goes all oooooo i’m all knowing he starts singing it in my voice. I think my imagination is broken.

  24. Reltzik

    See, this is why Walky isn’t as much of a target for Mike as Ethan is. It’s like torturing a skunk. Yes, you CAN do it. But even if you’re a predatory abusive troll of a sadist like Mike is, you still don’t want to.

  25. butts

    GOD DAMN IT WHY DO I MISS ALL THE GOOD ONES

    1. Emperor Norton II

      OK, so here’s a tip for you so you won’t miss the good ones:

      Right under the comic, there are several icons. One of them is in a form of a circle, in which is found a single directional arrow, and the word “Previous” found right below it.

      Click on this button once and once only, and you’ll be taken to yesterday’s comic. Now you won’t have missed the good ones after all!

      1. Clif

        Just be responsible and don’t cause any temporal paradoxes.

  26. BBCC

    Oh, Tony, he’s always so done with the freshmen around here.

    …You know, Tony wouldn’t make a bad RA for the boy’s side, if he were interested.

    1. Kris

      Does the boys side need an R.A.? Honestly things are pretty drama free here.

      1. BBCC

        They have an RA, but considering Chloe thinks Ruth was her best, I’m guessing a replacement wouldn’t hurt.

        Though there aren’t any emergencies we know about to push it along, no.

  27. UltraKyrie

    ….ew

    1. miados

      double ew

  28. Bagge

    Awwww, it’s nice of Dorothy to send Walky encouragement.

    And it’s really heartwarming that Walky can confront math without freaking out and running for the woods. Him coming clean about it to Dorothy and her not dumping him as a horrible looser really helped him calm down.

    I’m with Dorothy. I really think he will do well today. Not good results, but that he will actually learn something.

  29. Deanatay

    I think Willis was trying to tell those of us with weak constitutions, that we could ‘Skip’ this one…

    Wish I had.

    ABADON ALL HOPE YE WHO READ THIS COMIC

  30. Wendy

    Reminds me of a convoy I overheard on my very first day of college:

    “I found out this awesome trick to do less laundry! Instead of changing my underwear every day, I can just flip ’em inside out!”

    1. Wendy

      *convo. Curse you, autocorrect.

      1. Emperor Daniel

        I prefer to imagine that you overheard an entire military convoy discussing the logistics of doing laundry.

        1. StClair

          Either that, or you read it in the voice of Optimus Prime.

        2. Betty Anne

          ^ This is how I read it. And then imagined Optimus having a discussion about the merits of washing underwear.

          If it weren’t for the fact I’m a consumer and sometimes producer of Transformers porn, it would have probably been weird. :p

    2. 3oranges

      One pair can even last four days. You go front, you go back, you go inside out, then you go front and back. I understand it is both disgusting and awesome.

      1. Rukduk

        Jesus tap-dancing Christ but that is nasty!!

  31. Yumi

    That “consent is cool” poster reminds of a similar themed board when I was in college that said, “Consent is sexy.” And then someone taped a sign over the word “sexy” so that it instead said, “fucking mandatory.”

    1. Rukduk

      Kudos to that sign taper.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      I’d have added “and not just for fucking” undeneath that again.

  32. Yumi

    Also, I wish the comic would have stayed on polyamory a bit longer so that this comment would be more relevant, but…
    If one feels they couldn’t be in a relationship with multiple people, but is okay with dating one person who is in multiple relationships, would that first person be considered poly as well or more just poly-adjacent?

    1. Reltzik

      I THINK* the relationship would count as poly.

      The personal status of poly is based on personal preference, so that individual would not be considered poly.

      *meaning I’m kinda vaguely interpolating from a few things I’ve heard over my life and am likely dead wrong but I think maybe seeing one reply will get more people replying and an eventual real answer, so everyone pile on the corrections.

    2. C.T. Phipps

      It’s why I count Archie, Betty, and Veronica as poly.

      1. Emily

        Honestly I just wanna cut Archie out of the equation and ship Betty and Veronica because he’s kind of a total dink.

    3. CJ

      The person then is doing poly, not being poly.
      It’s not part of their identity to be poly, it’s part of their identity to be with someone who happens to be poly. Different kettle of fish.

    4. Cerberus

      That actually has a name. It’s mono-poly, like the board game. Basically being monogamous with someone who is polyamorous. I was in a structure like that for a bit early on in my ex and I’s relationship, where I was more enjoying the loss of pressure for me by way of them having multiple relationships rather than interested at the time in seeking out any partners myself.

      1. Yumi

        Thanks for the term

      2. biocuriousgeorgie

        Huh. That’s pretty much where I am right now (and mostly why). I guess that didn’t work out in the end, but can I ask how that went for you?

      3. Oz

        But if the other person is doing things with other people, isn’t that a non-monogamic relationship? If you are okay with the ther person having other relationships, can you call yourself monogamic? Or if you can, then what do we call people who are never okay with that?

  33. Sophran

    TBH if everyone else gets to self-improve by the end of this comic, I kind of hope Mike just ends up unhappy, alone, and ditched by everyone else at the end when they realize he is best avoided. Cause he really is just an antagonistic force intent on fucking people over and that stands out a lot more in the Dumbiverse.

  34. missilentmurmur

    The fifth panel totally exceeds the level of my English 🙁

    1. Yumi

      You know, this might be an instance where that’s a good thing.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      I will certainly not be the one to break your innocence on this subject.

    3. Fart Captor

      The “taint”, or “grundle” refers to the area between the testicles and the anus.

      1. CJ

        Knowing this, is Walky just having them on?

  35. Pinja

    Wow Dorothy, what a catch

  36. J

    …You think it’s better, but it really isn’t.

  37. BeckyHop

    How…how does one move comfortably with a taint zit?

  38. Mitara

    Am I the only one who didn’t recognize Walky at first?

    1. Minotaur

      No, you’re not.

  39. LooksLikeDaniel

    That bulletin board in panel 1 is the best part of this strip.

  40. Reltzik

    Okay, trying to break down the psychological sabotage that Mike’s doing here.

    Panel 2 is kinda the opener. It’s Mike collecting ammunition and getting his foot in the door. Walky makes the mistake of engaging and handing him what he needs. But there’s also an element of dismissal in the “ol’ girlfriend” phrasing. From someone else it might be innocent. From Mike, it might be accidental (in much the same way that I accidentally tell a pun), but it also suggests one of Mike’s goals from Day 1: To sabotage the relationship between Walky and Dorothy. (Is he doing it to hurt Walky through the relationship? To damage Walky’s self-esteem? To isolate Walky and make him an easier victim? Mix and match?)

    But the motherlode is in Panel 3. In just a single sentence, Mike does all of the following:

    1) Sabotages Dorothy’s supportive message by reframing it as manipulative nag.
    2) Attempts to reframe Walky’s view of Dorothy as being passive-aggressive.
    3) Sets himself up as the wise-in-the-ways-of-the-world girlfriend-interpreter, on the off chance that Walky will start seeking his wise advice. (Which would be bad.)
    4) In suggesting to Walky that he’s being manipulative, plants his own manipulative suggestion to defy the pressure and skip out on class, and in so doing sabotages both Walky’s education and the relationship with the girlfriend who’s doing a lot of work to support Walky’s education.

    Panel 4: And here Mike’s doing a tactic I’ve seen him do a lot but not called out on much. The quick change of focus just after he dropped a load of negative messaging. By mocking Walky for his surprise, Mike takes Walky’s attention OFF of everything that just got dumped on him. This doesn’t mean that Walky’s going to forget everything said in Panel 3, but it DOES mean that he’s not free to analyze it all. That stuff’s now ten times more likely to get subconsciously processed and internalized. And I don’t think that’s an accident. I think that’s part of Mike’s M.O.

    There’s more going on here, and it amplifies the distraction effect. A bit of body-shame (pimples are an affliction, you don’t need to feel shame for an affliction). A response to Walky’s surprise at the result of the invasion of privacy which is nothing more than mockery. And then in turn, that mockery is its own denigration of Walky’s intelligence, an implication that he’s too dumb to figure out the super-obvious real answer of how he knew what the text was about. (Probably either an educated guess or reading over his shoulder in Panel 2.)

    All of it comes together in a potentially overwhelming super-dense barrage, delivered with terrifying efficiency under a plausible (and successful) facade of just-talking. Just three sentences to accomplish all of that.

    Is there more to this that I missed?

    1. Emperor Norton II

      I’d say you got pretty much all the important details and then some, Reltzik. That’s a Cerberus-level analysis right there.

      I mean, I’m sure that she’ll come and bring some other details in, but she’ll definitely end up with the same conclusion as you: That Mike’s a complete and utter bastard of a manipulative asshole.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        It should end with Mike convincing Dorothy to dump him.

        1. Reltzik

          I doubt he’ll try. She’s not the weakest link here, and Mike knows to go for the weakest link.

          Though maybe sabotaging Walky into a meltdown will convince Dorothy to dump him. Does that count?

    2. Cerberus

      Yeah, that all sounds about right. It’s a nasty bit of punching down that takes a sweet moment and tries to turn it foul because he gets off on that shit as it makes him feel powerful and when you’re as full of edgelord white boy anger as Mike, that’s a hell of a drug to give up lightly.

      And he’s breaking out some major abuse tactics here. Intruding in to a moment of intimacy and privacy, creating a sense of order that Walky is not allowed to have a private life without Mike trying to ruin it (and he’s been going after Dorothy since her and Walky first started dating). Gaslighting and creating an alternative narrative about the event that just transpired before he can process it.

      And then, yeah, as you noted as well, the big finish skipping away on a dismissive line, leaving no real means to process and instead be distracted by the non-sequitur. But leaving just enough truth to sting where it hurts and leave a mote of doubt that maybe, just maybe, he’s seeing something they’re not.

      It’s… It’s shit I see abusive piles of shit do all the time. Hell, it’s basically our current government’s preferred style of governance at the moment and it’s something that has been weaponized by the hate groups hiding behind the monikers of “trolls”. Insert where unwanted and unasked (creating the idea that you can never escape them so you’re forced to engage or ignore neither of which is guaranteed to end well), gaslight about an event and provide an alternative narrative, distract when called out, bring up distraction smear to try and move the topic instead to an issue related to a harassment campaign they’re in.

      It’s genuinely vile.

      1. Pablo360

        Tangentially related, but: How good of a job do you think Willis is doing at CONVEYING how vile Mike is? Specifically, to less aware audiences?

  41. BenRG

    Mike, I think that you’d probably be more effective as an asshole if you didn’t come across here as a raving lunatic.

    Oh, and look, Walky! It’s your sister’s zombie ex-boyfriend from an alternate universe! May, multiverse theory gives me a headache!

  42. C.T. Phipps

    I think Mike is a really pathetic destroyer of souls. You’d think he’d be doing some psychological warfare on Dorothy, saying she’s ruining her chances to get into a big college and become President by hanging around having fun with a guy who isn’t succeeding in his plans to be a doctor (assuming Mike spied on the Walkertons) because of her. THAT would be awesome.

    No, you’re strictly low hanging fruit, Mike.

    1. Scar Man!!!

      he’s a bully, and bullies punch down whenever possible. It’s laziness. Why reach up into the tree when there is delicious pain-fruit right in front of your eyes?

  43. Fart Captor

    I like that while Mike is being a jerk here, for once he’s not being such an incredible jerk that it makes me want to do murders

  44. DarkoNeko

    Oh. Hi, Tony *look at today’s it’s Walky* well that’s awkard.

  45. Plasma Mongoose

    He’s the type that believes that if you turn the undies inside-out, he doesn’t need to wash them for another three weeks.

  46. CJ

    I followed the tags because I wasn’t sure which was Arnold and which was Tony and ended up here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/confession/

    (Avatars roulette)

  47. Zaxares

    I’m torn between going “EWWW” and telling Dorothy to go pop that sucker.

  48. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    I love the consent bulletin and Dorothy’s warm support for Walky, but the elephant in the room has to be that Panel 3.

    Panel 3: So, this is once more Mike trying to drum up jealousy in Dorothy’s boyfriend or ex. Which…

    Okay, let’s lay this out. Women get murdered by jealous exes or partners all the frickin’ time. So riling up someone’s jealousy and getting them to second-guess their partner’s every move can be a dangerous game, especially with insecure guys who’ve had issues with toxic masculinity.

    Like, Walky and Danny are both fairly-decent as far as 18-year-old boys go, so it’s unlikely that either would decide to “get revenge” on Dorothy based on Mike’s lies. But that is not something he’d be able to predict 100% before he pulls these stunts.

    He’s basically Iago-ing Walky trying to snow him about his girlfriend’s ulterior motives in the hopes of causing some sort of mental crisis or an angry confrontation. Because he thinks that’s a good way to spend his time. Because that’s what he’s dedicated his life to*.

    And with a different guy? This could have ended with a sad news story and Dorothy’s tale would be ended. And that’s fucked up and one more piece of evidence that everyone needs to be getting as far away from Mike as they possible can.

    *Others have noted that while he seems super dedicated to these tasks, he doesn’t show any sign of genuine enjoyment and that got me thinking of all the sad attempts to humanize the bigoted trolls that link up with the neo-nazis or march with Milo and how their lives just went off the rails building community in hate, just doing it because if they stop now, they might have to admit that the reason they are alone is because they’ve hurt everyone in their lives who’s tried to give them a chance.

    Mike seems on that path now to me. He’s actively hurting anyone who so much as drifts into his sphere and those he’s closest to and who try hardest to hang with him are the ones he seeks to hurt the most (see the elaborate steps he’s going to to hurt Ethan and how he said he’d have slept with Amber’s boyfriend just to hurt her if he’d known she’d finally found happiness that way.

    And eventually people are going to leave him to rot, leaving him to get more and more bitter and angry and full of aggrieved entitlement, but very much alone.

    1. Silly Name

      You just made me realise why I kept thinking Mike reminded me of another fictional character, but couldn’t recall which one: Iago. Dude is going around spreading misery for no reason behind “the lulz”.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, the exploiting of jealousy and the fictional narrative about a girlfriend’s actions making them seem negative really hammered that connection home for me.

        1. Scar Man!!!

          now I feel horrible about how much fun it was to play Iago when we did our Othello reading in high school. In the play, he seemed to be too dedicated and devoid of motive to be thought of as just a horrible person. He seemed more like an embodiment of evil and that made him fun.

          But now I know that he’s not as unrealistic as I thoought

        2. BBCC

          Hey, horrible people can be fun as hell to play, so don’t get too down on yourself.

        3. Cerberus

          Hey, play-acting as evil people is super fun as anyone who has played one of those “no rules” video games before or played an evil party D&D campaign can attest.

          It’s only really a problem when you’re “play-acting” an evil person in the real or virtual world causing real suffering with your actions.

          So I wouldn’t worry about it.

        4. BBCC

          Yeah, there’s nothing quite as much fun as sinking your teeth in and getting to play one mean motherfucker.

          As long as all involved know that you are playing – don’t use it to be a dick. Nobody likes that.

        5. Rukduk

          It’s why my favorite DnD alignment is lawful evil bleeding over into lawful neutral. It’s just so nice to be evil with a code. I actually designed a lawful evil race/society based on Orcs for a DM friend of mine one time. I called them Gurkars and unashamedly used the least monstrous looking Uruks from Shadow of Mordor to give an indication of what they should look like. They’re gimmick was that they weren’t as stupid as DnD Orcs, but they weren’t quite as strong, they had a charisma malice but they were tanky as all hell. Their society centered around semi-nomadic (stay in one place as long as the water lasts) fluid matrilineal tribal confederations (basically tribes only stuck together as long as there was someone strong enough to hold them united) herder-raiders who would raid settlements across seas and great rivers for loot and slaves Viking style, as well forcibly adopting defeated enemies and basically making them go through Stockholm syndrome in order to avoid inbreeding and infuse fresh blood into old stock families. There was no negotiating or reasoning with them, if you saw their ships coming it was either fight or flee, because if you just gave them what they wanted they’d butcher and eat you because you were weakling sheep. But they had a code that was sacrosanct and simple. One leadership is based on merit, not blood. Two, enemies who die in honorable combat are to be buried. Three, rape was punishable by castration, a week of solitary confinement in a muddy pit or latrine, and then inpalation in that order. Four abusing a child in anyway was punishable by death. Five, kinship being everything, kinslayers are banished, but their offspring allowed to return to the tribe of their mother. Six any action that elicits cheers from at least two thirds of your comrades is a completely justified act. And seven, fleeing from battle without orders renders your life forfeit, as cowardice is the greatest sin. This rendered them an incredibly violent, but at times respectable bunch. Made them really popular with the DM’s group, and have been a staple of their games ever since (four years) as enemies, allies of convenience (mercs) and even three playable characters.

        6. thejeff

          I’m the weird one there. I can never get in to playing evil characters. I can do the “evil deeds for a greater cause” kind of thing, but even that’s uncomfortable and tends to lead to tortured characters.
          I’m not comfortable being mean, even to fictional people. It’s not fun for me.

        7. Pablo360

          Same. I once tried to play a renegade in SW:KOTOR and it lasted about two minutes. I have a hair-trigger conscience.

    2. Cerberus

      Adding a morning addendum to say:

      I think one of the central horrible things about Mike or having a dedicated troll movement harassing you is you’re not just allowed to settle into your own life and just live it without also trying to put up all these defense measurements against a douchebags attempts to poison it or twist it for the lulz.

      Like, Mike is relentless. He’s been hammering Walky and Dorothy on this issue for about 2 or 3 weeks now. Often striking when they are distracted just living their life and trying to establish some degree of normality (the second was right after a sexual session and it was implied not to be the first time, and this one is after a really sweet romantic moment between them based on acceptance).

      And we really see that in his interactions with Ethan. Ethan’s known Mike for so long that he never fully settles into “safe mode” always having to keep one eye on when Mike is going to try and destroy his life or the life of someone close to him.

      Which is why he reminds me so much of dedicated harassing troll movements:

      He always punches down. He doesn’t allow his targets to fully settle into a normal life and requires them to always be on guard for his shenanigans. His actions are unduly cruel and have nasty real-world consequences, especially for those who struggle with self-esteem or mental health. He targets associates of his targets, isolating them from contact with others for fear of “putting him on their radar”. He uses abuse techniques such as gaslighting to make his targets question their basic reality and is willing to go to absurd lengths to harass someone. And he accumulates a terrifyingly large database of information about a person that he then sorts for vulnerabilities he can exploit to hurt them. And he really does seem to get off on this shit, but in an angry bitter way where you wonder what even is in it for the troll other than the rush of power, because they don’t seem to actually enjoy most things they do.

      Anyone who’s dealt with a dedicated harassment movement has had to deal with this stuff. Getting more mum about sharing information in public or semi-public spaces so it can’t be used against you. Trying to hide people important to you so they can’t find them and harass them. Changing your whole routine to include defense measures and having to keep one wary eye on his actions to see if he is coming for you or someone else this time.

      And it’s frustrating because for both dedicated “troll” harassers and Mike, the real end goal is either the elimination of you from his public life (that is what he’s stated his goal is with Dorothy, though it’s up to you how much you believe him on that motivation given his penchant for gaslighting) or just the power rush of becoming so important in someone else’s life that they have to go to extreme countermeasures to protect themselves.

      You see it in the hate movement that ruined gaming or in TERFs, where they openly celebrate when someone drops out of public life or kills themselves and where they’ll privately celebrate and cheer all the times they get someone to go to ludicrous lengths to protect themselves or when they get their target to fear for their life and safety.

      And really in all bullies. The goal is the fear and the control and getting you to constrain your life or understand that your life is under attack and the perpetrator will get away with it because they are attacking along an axis of oppression. And like with trolls, ignoring him doesn’t make him go away, it just makes him circle harder and escalate.

  49. Gene

    Heh. There’s a village east of here called Taintsville, ‘cuz “it t’aint Bithlo and it t’aint Chuluota”

    Of course I giggle every time I rid through. Florida. What’cha gonna do…

  50. Danni

    yaint supposed to share something like that, walky

  51. Scar Man!!!

    dude, wash you’re freaking underwear. You’re going to give Dorothy an infection in the worst possible place if you’re not carefule

  52. AnvilPro

    Mike’s the best.

  53. Hari

    Mike needs a serious ass beating.

  54. Clif

    I completely agree with AnvlPro and Hari.

  55. Commodore Jeep-Eep

    *Inserts high pressure water horse in ear at mental image*

  56. C.T. Phipps

    It is kind of funny Shortpack’s two stars of Mike and Robin have made the poorest transition here. I blame contract negotiations. Neither is happy about being downgraded from main character. Ethan’s actor, by contrast, is a professional.

    1. BBCC

      Pfft, divas.

      I’m sure Willis offered very reasonable contracts for DoA.

      1. Clif

        Just ask Ruth.

        1. BBCC

          I know right? Ruth seems pretty happy with her new contract. Lots more meat she can sink her teeth in without the more disappointing conclusion from last time. Dina’s gotten a decent upgrade too, I think, as did Becky.

  57. Hinoron

    …What part of that can be considered “cool”, Walky?

    Do your @#$%ing laundry!

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