I’m gonna take this to a bit of a dark place in the interests of a factoid about legal minutiae in England and Wales. It’s probably not worth it and may be disturbing to consider for some.
So there is such a thing in the law as strict liability offences, those being crimes that can be committed without knowing you are committing them. They’re rare because we like to think you can only be convicted of crimes you knew you were committing.
Now, back when I did my law degree it was the law that sex with a minor was a crime unless you could reasonably have believed they were not a minor. This changes when the minor is under 13, at which point it if you were to fall naked out of a window onto a 12 year old’s genitalia (who happens to be napping in the nude under your window) then you have committed a crime and doing it accidentally very much counts where it wouldn’t have for a 14 year old.
I swear the next student I see using ChatGDP metaAI or any of that AI shit for somethin like this, imma ask it to figure out how to get itself outlawed, and you know the shills better be PRAYING on the 10% chance it freaks out and tells me that would require nothing more than an actual pork barrel (-_-)
and probably produced orders of magnitude more carbon dioxide from power consumption than would have occurred if Joyce had just used her own earthling brainsack
Dorothy: “Oh, Jeez, you forgot one. It’s called ‘practicing with your best friend.’ Oh well, can’t be helped. Guess we’ll have to put that one at – the – Top.”
They already tried that. It was a whole thing. BTW, my finger slipped and I accidentally hit the report comment button on you, which apparently has a hair trigger. So sorry about that.
jflb96
It compensates for being really easy to report someone by requiring several reports before it flags the comment for review by a human, don’t worry too much about it
Decidedly Orthogonal
> BTW, my finger slipped and I accidentally hit the
This looks like a list that Joyce didn’t find online, but made herself.
Somehow I see a storyline where they’re sitting together, the leftovers of Dina’s hooch sitting between them, and Dorothy stumped at some of the weirder ones.
“Jazz shirt? What is jazz shirt?”
“You know…it’s when a guy takes his hands and… you know…”
“I do not know what jazz shirt is.”
“It’s just… you know… he puts his hands on your shirt, and… “ *jazz hands*
“Joyce. Joyce. You CANNOT be serious. That is not a thing.”
“It is too a thing! Here, lean back and I’ll show you.”
kinda reminds me of the 30 rock/liz lemon ep where she got more turned on by ‘scheduling/organization’ her sex schedule/timing than the actual act itself lol
Every prioritization nerd knows that the sexiest thing on any list of sexy things is supposed to be consent, with whatever you want following, because without consent, any action’s sexiness only has the sexiness approval of one party, and is therefore has its sexiness cut by half or more. Therefore, when someone is obsessed with prioritizing, the sexiness of even a purely a subjective prioritizing list should explicitly come second in said subjective prioritizing list, because the other person should always come first in sexytimes.
… I actually knew a girl who did that. “Soaking”.
The hoops people will go through to have bad sex specifically to convince themselves they haven’t had sex at all are astounding.
No, no, there’s a rule written down somewhere. It doesn’t count if it’s *really bad sex.* And if it’s bad enough, it even starts counting negative, and you can get promoted to super-virgin.
Needfuldoer
That must be one of Clay Puppington’s lost commandments.
jflb96
It’s like how you can get so sober that you slip into being knurd, if you have enough negative sex you end up an erohw
i was gonna say that too 😀 Autism has peaked with this.
then again, making a Yes, No, Maybe list by yourself and with a partner ist a super good way to negotiate sex! <3 The allistic ways aren't always better.
I feel called out… my partner and I are both autistic (didn’t know it at the time), and one of the first things we did was make a list of all the things we wanted to do to each other…. and that was… hot.
It seem’s like Joyce’s kink is surrendering agency. She just needs to be tied up and gagged so she can’t make any more active decisions or selections to feel ashamed of.
…I’m so interested to see a study on the potential correlation between “people who grew up being shamed for their sexual desires” and “interest in bondage/subbing/other kinks involving pretending you don’t have agency in the situation.” I suspect there’s quite a lot
There’s actually a lot of examples of things like this. Particularly since women are so often shamed for their desires, they will invent scenarios where they cannot be blamed. This is for example why r*pe fantasies are quite common, even though very few people actually want to be SA:d. It’s a situation wherein one must surrender to pleasure, without seeking it out and thus getting branded a “slut”.
Or something like that. I saw a video essay about this like two years ago, so I might be misremembering or quoting a bad source.
Anyways, first time commenting on this webcomic, it’s been a fun read so far!
Yeah, that’s the one! Couldn’t remember what creator it was, but now that you mention it. Hail and well met, fellow Contrapoints-fan!
Pardon the accidental report, my fingers are stupid sometimes.
mindbleach
That thing really needs a confirmation step.
StClair
Twilight is made of this. 50 Shades, due to its origins as a Twilight AU/fic, just makes the subtext text.
There’s something to that, but the initial signs don’t necessarily last. I wouldn’t read too much into this. Especially since that hasn’t really been how her other interactions with Joe have gone so far.
222 thoughts on “Smexy”
Ana Chronistic
“I mean why would ‘accidentally’ sitting on it not count”
pope suburban
Oh lord, Liz was spot on with her joke about soaking many many strips ago. XD
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Dotty proceeds to put all the funnest, most juice-inducing stuff at the top, just for funsies.
Deanatay
OR because she’s secretly desperately horny, we can’t tell
Lysbeth
Her parents took her to many churches before they found the right one
shadebug
I’m gonna take this to a bit of a dark place in the interests of a factoid about legal minutiae in England and Wales. It’s probably not worth it and may be disturbing to consider for some.
So there is such a thing in the law as strict liability offences, those being crimes that can be committed without knowing you are committing them. They’re rare because we like to think you can only be convicted of crimes you knew you were committing.
Now, back when I did my law degree it was the law that sex with a minor was a crime unless you could reasonably have believed they were not a minor. This changes when the minor is under 13, at which point it if you were to fall naked out of a window onto a 12 year old’s genitalia (who happens to be napping in the nude under your window) then you have committed a crime and doing it accidentally very much counts where it wouldn’t have for a 14 year old.
Not sure who that helps but I’ve written it now
Doctor_Who
Dorothy: Your list of sex acts includes “The Mashed Potato”? “The Pony”? “The Locomotion?” Joyce, are some of these dance crazes from the 1960s?
Joyce: Drat. I asked an AI to write it so it would extra not be me who’s the pervert. I shouldn’t have used the phrase “no pants dance” in my prompt.
Sirksome
Another failure of Chatgpt!
NGPZ
I swear the next student I see using ChatGDP metaAI or any of that AI shit for somethin like this, imma ask it to figure out how to get itself outlawed, and you know the shills better be PRAYING on the 10% chance it freaks out and tells me that would require nothing more than an actual pork barrel (-_-)
Deanatay
It did its best. It tried REALLY hard.
NGPZ
and probably produced orders of magnitude more carbon dioxide from power consumption than would have occurred if Joyce had just used her own earthling brainsack
nobodybasically
“The Roger Rabbit”? “The Cabbage Patch?”
Did Coach Z write this list?
Alan
Why is this entry called “The Dancing Brothers”, and why does it just go “Oh, gonna have a good time tonight, gonna have a gooood time tonight…”
Shadowsnail
Hawk tor and sport on that thorng!
Eric
Roz: All conscious activities are on the Smexy Spectrum, since the mind is an erogenous zone – Discuss
ValdVin
“Mambo…juke…jazz. Wow, someone really likes dancing!”
Disastroid
At least now she’ll know how to really do the Cool Jerk.
StClair
Joe may not appreciate the Twist, however.
Opus the Poet
+1
NGPZ
bypassing your sunday school chains and helpin scratch Dorothy’s autistic itches too!
well played Joyce ^^
Michael Steamweed
Just gals being pals and scratching each other’s itches. 😀
Lilith Rose
And they will be roommates.
Sirksome
Accept your role as master of Joyce’s sexuality, Dorothy! It is what you were always meant to do! You are the chosen one!
Jeremiah
And unlike most choose you don’t gotta put yourself in mortal danger!
Rose by Any other Name
Dorothy: “Oh, Jeez, you forgot one. It’s called ‘practicing with your best friend.’ Oh well, can’t be helped. Guess we’ll have to put that one at – the – Top.”
Getes
They already tried that. It was a whole thing. BTW, my finger slipped and I accidentally hit the report comment button on you, which apparently has a hair trigger. So sorry about that.
jflb96
It compensates for being really easy to report someone by requiring several reports before it flags the comment for review by a human, don’t worry too much about it
Decidedly Orthogonal
> BTW, my finger slipped and I accidentally hit the
Yes. YES?!
> report comment button
Oh. That’s not nearly as fun. ?
Dday
Dotty’s in Charge of our days and our nights
Dotty’s in Charge of our wrongs and our rights
And I sing, I want, I want Dotty in Charge of me.
Freezer
Why did my brain keep adding whip cracks to that?
Yondrose
Mine didn’t, but it shoulda!
Jeremiah
This is somehow gayer that if they actually had sex with each other.
BorkBorkBork
This looks like a list that Joyce didn’t find online, but made herself.
Somehow I see a storyline where they’re sitting together, the leftovers of Dina’s hooch sitting between them, and Dorothy stumped at some of the weirder ones.
“Jazz shirt? What is jazz shirt?”
“You know…it’s when a guy takes his hands and… you know…”
“I do not know what jazz shirt is.”
“It’s just… you know… he puts his hands on your shirt, and… “ *jazz hands*
“Joyce. Joyce. You CANNOT be serious. That is not a thing.”
“It is too a thing! Here, lean back and I’ll show you.”
Regret
It took me two reads before I realized hooch is booze and not pussy. MASSIVE change of meaning.
zaratustra
hooch, not cooch
Needfuldoer
“Joyce, this is just hand bra.”
“No it’s not! My hands are on top of that. This is jazz shirt!”
anon
kinda reminds me of the 30 rock/liz lemon ep where she got more turned on by ‘scheduling/organization’ her sex schedule/timing than the actual act itself lol
Michael Steamweed
Excel in the (spread) sheets!
Jonah (firelight_waltz)
the most smexy thing of all: organization
butts
i mean. she is talking to Dorothy
Lilith Rose
Dorthoy would be ashamed of you.
Every prioritization nerd knows that the sexiest thing on any list of sexy things is supposed to be consent, with whatever you want following, because without consent, any action’s sexiness only has the sexiness approval of one party, and is therefore has its sexiness cut by half or more. Therefore, when someone is obsessed with prioritizing, the sexiness of even a purely a subjective prioritizing list should explicitly come second in said subjective prioritizing list, because the other person should always come first in sexytimes.
butts
okay so Joyce does know what soaking is, even if she didn’t actually call it that
IntangibleMatter
The question is who’s she gonna get to jump on the bed?
Yumi
I mean. Dorothy.
Rose by Any other Name
… I actually knew a girl who did that. “Soaking”.
The hoops people will go through to have bad sex specifically to convince themselves they haven’t had sex at all are astounding.
BorkBorkBork
No, no, there’s a rule written down somewhere. It doesn’t count if it’s *really bad sex.* And if it’s bad enough, it even starts counting negative, and you can get promoted to super-virgin.
Needfuldoer
That must be one of Clay Puppington’s lost commandments.
jflb96
It’s like how you can get so sober that you slip into being knurd, if you have enough negative sex you end up an erohw
anon
Liz knows, wonder if she told her about it lol
IntangibleMatter
It’s impossible to comprehend the sheer depths of autism that are being displayed in this comic.
Icalasari
…God dammit I can’t refute that. Yeah, this is peak Autism, and even my Autistic rear can’t deny that
Felian
i was gonna say that too 😀 Autism has peaked with this.
then again, making a Yes, No, Maybe list by yourself and with a partner ist a super good way to negotiate sex! <3 The allistic ways aren't always better.
Jeremiah
This make me fell like a autism noob. I could never hope to reach the pro levels of autism these two are packing.
ian livs
Same, though
Dante
The kinda thing that made me go “autistic, moi? Naw, I’m terrible at lists” for decades, like a fool.
It’s just, these two are masters of the craft.
anon
Next arc/book title 8D:
Effie
Dumbing of Age Book 15: Pretending to Accidentally Sit on a Ding-Dong and Not Moving Around ‘Cause That Way it Doesn’t Count
Lilith Rose
I feel called out… my partner and I are both autistic (didn’t know it at the time), and one of the first things we did was make a list of all the things we wanted to do to each other…. and that was… hot.
Dday
It seem’s like Joyce’s kink is surrendering agency. She just needs to be tied up and gagged so she can’t make any more active decisions or selections to feel ashamed of.
ian livs
…I’m so interested to see a study on the potential correlation between “people who grew up being shamed for their sexual desires” and “interest in bondage/subbing/other kinks involving pretending you don’t have agency in the situation.” I suspect there’s quite a lot
Mollyscribbles
hrm. This does explain the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey with women who don’t know enough about BDSM to be horrified about how it’s portrayed.
butts
i mean. i can’t speak to broader statistics but anecdotally this applies to every lapsed catholic i know
eh, whatever
More of an American thing than a Catholic thing, anecdotally.
OngoingConversation
There’s actually a lot of examples of things like this. Particularly since women are so often shamed for their desires, they will invent scenarios where they cannot be blamed. This is for example why r*pe fantasies are quite common, even though very few people actually want to be SA:d. It’s a situation wherein one must surrender to pleasure, without seeking it out and thus getting branded a “slut”.
Or something like that. I saw a video essay about this like two years ago, so I might be misremembering or quoting a bad source.
Anyways, first time commenting on this webcomic, it’s been a fun read so far!
mindbleach
The Contrapoints video on Twilight is about this.
Dead serious.
OngoingConversation
Yeah, that’s the one! Couldn’t remember what creator it was, but now that you mention it. Hail and well met, fellow Contrapoints-fan!
Pardon the accidental report, my fingers are stupid sometimes.
mindbleach
That thing really needs a confirmation step.
StClair
Twilight is made of this. 50 Shades, due to its origins as a Twilight AU/fic, just makes the subtext text.
thejeff
There’s something to that, but the initial signs don’t necessarily last. I wouldn’t read too much into this. Especially since that hasn’t really been how her other interactions with Joe have gone so far.
Opus the Poet