508

Smoocharama
Posted on February 12, 2014 by David M Willis

508 thoughts on “Smoocharama”

  1. Herohatch

    And what a way to find out.

    1. Taigan

      Called it.

      1. Kevin

        A bunch of people called it.

        1. Leonou

          An just like any Cassandra, nobody listened to them althought they were deadly right ….

        2. invalidbatch

          boom classical reference, lets just hope it doesnt turn out quite as badly as that

  2. Ellie

    Uhoh.

    1. WaveRocker

      I wish there was some kind of a “Damn you, Willis” counter that he could embed into the homepage.

      1. Afineedge

        For Dave Willis comments, we call those “page hits.”

      2. Reltzik

        If I understand javascript correctly, every numerical variable is a floating point number. Before we lose precision (essentially have to switch to scientific notation, at which point we lose the ability to be a counter), the maximum exact value we can reach is 9,007,199,254,740,992. Exactly how long do you expect this counter to last?

        1. jaimehlers

          I think this one page would probably cause that counter to overflow.

        2. Corey

          You could always store the number in a string and do math on said string to get around the variable size limitations.

        3. Reltzik

          You’d still run into limitations of physical memory.

        4. Jostikas

          Nah. Just manipulate the last digit, and if it’s already nine, do same with the next etc. Could also make a function mapping from values of the double to string values shown, and still store it as a double (more memory efficient, but more work on each pageview).

          Still would overflow. Damn you, Willis!

        5. Seerow

          If this comic ever breaks 9 quintillion “Damn you willis!” hits Willis will retire a happy man.

          And the entire world will hate him for it.

      3. Paul Indrome

        Welp. Might as well start counting.
        DAMN YOU, WILLIS!!! (1)

        1. lDanielHolm

          …
          Willis, this will not be forgotten.
          ಥ_ಥ

        2. Farmer_10

          Or forgiven.

      4. 4th Dimension

        Hmm. It should be possible to add DAMN YOU WILIS under every page, and allow you to push it once per session. Now as allways there will be people that will abuse this, but it woulds still give us usefull data to see how many damnations each page gets.
        So sessions unless somebody has a better idea how to differentiate visitors.

        1. E.R.

          I.P or Cookie?

      5. KingStarscream

        No matter how big that number’s maximum value, it WILL roll over within a month.

    2. Ocbrad1

      Cue the sad trombone. Damn you, Willis!

  3. Kladeos

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    1. newllend

      Nooooooooooooooo,god damnit! RAGE QUITE! * throws phone at wall*…….

    2. Packy

      Damn you, Willis!!!

  4. Mer

    Nooooooo.

  5. Agera

    that’s her natural taste

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yeah, she’s like 40% alcohol by volume.

      Don’t smoke near her, she’ll go up like a bomb. Making her Sal’s roomie was probably a bad move.

      1. Yotomoe

        Billie is actually booze incarnate.

        1. Aizat

          Or she’s related to Bacchus.

        2. Ikaru

          From Tides of Destiny? I can see that.

        3. Aizat

          Well, I was going to say the Roman god of wine….but that works too I guess.

        4. PrincessCarlos

          Let’s get a motherfuckin bacchanalia going.

        5. Jarid Scott

          She’s an alemental.

        6. Charlie Spencer

          That’s a spirit, right?

        7. Trolldrool

          Considering spirit can be also used as a synonym for booze, why not? An alemental spirit of spirits.

        8. Corronchilejano

          Alcohol elemental. 8HD of pure fun.

  6. Yotsuyasan

    Nooooo! Damn you, Willis!

    Expected… but, damn you, Willis!

    1. EvergreenFir

      (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

      1. WaveRocker

        ┻#^┻ ╯(°□° ╯) why you do this?

        1. masterofbones

          what the hell did you do to that table?

        2. Alex

          It landed on something sharp.

          (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it)

        3. NaughtbutaHoax

          I didn’t get it.
          But then I did.
          You, I like.

  7. Redraine

    FUCK. I WAS EXPECTING BILLIE TO COME UPFRONT ABOUT THIS.

    BUT THIS IS WAY WAY WORSE.

    1. insomniac

      “I was expecting Billie to to the difficult but responsible thing! Where did I go wrong?”

      1. ninja_jesus

        You forgot that this is Dumbing of Age! And in Dumbing of Age… *dramatic turn and fierce gaze* THINGS ALWAYS GO WRONG!

      2. Kelly

        Sarah is the perfect avatar for that comment

      3. Evil Midnight Lurker

        You forgot this wasn’t El Goonish Shive.

        1. xKiv

          It’s like they planned it, right?

  8. chris73

    Don’t stop

    1. kagato23

      BELEVINNGGGGG

      1. GoSpeedRumpist

        HOLD ON TO THOSE FEELS!

    2. Rheinman

      Streeeetlights, peeeeople, Woahohooooooohh!!!!

    3. -Sentinel-

      …sez the Billie avatar.

  9. Jen Aside

    “It’s surprisingly refreshing!”

  10. rhelmot

    Incoming wall of CALLED ITs!

    1. Equuizzicals

      I did in fact call this exact scenario. I am absolutley not proud of that.

      1. Kladeos

        I hate everybody who predicted this yesterday.

        1. Robin

          Burn them in a fire!

        2. Cragalanch

          Cragalanch is fireproof, so your plan is majorly flawed

  11. ASD

    how did I not see that coming

    1. Goat

      It’s funnier when you look at your avatar

    2. otusasio451

      Look in yesterday’s comments. Like, 5 people saw this coming

      1. EvilPenguin

        I didn’t see it coming until I read the comments yesterday, and was like “Oh crap, that makes sense, it’s probably going to happen now. Please don’t happen.”

        It’s not better to find out this way.

  12. Sageress

    “And you taste like maple syrup and regret.”

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Also politeness, Tim Hortons, and affordable health care. It sickens me!”

      1. Oliver

        Don’t forget about hockey, eh!

      2. Rutee

        *Ruth* tastes like politeness? You serious? 😛

    2. Rheinman

      and back bacon. Mmmm, bacon

  13. March

    Damn it, Willis, you suck!

    1. saltchocolate

      The problem is that Ruth sucks. If you follow me.

      1. John

        Well if Billie’s tongue didn’t taste like booze, she wouldn’t!

  14. dc32x

    The jig is up! RUN!

  15. Goat

    This isn’t gonna end well, is it?

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie performs a sleeps on the couch?

      1. Corronchilejano

        Billie gets performed in the face.

        1. Icalasari

          At least she’ll have her femurs!

        2. saltchocolate

          Not clear.

  16. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    Well, so many of you called it. Doesn’t make this any easier to watch, though.

    1. carl320

      Exactly what I was thinking.

    2. Redraine

      It’s like a soap opera. You know Michael is cheating on Beth with her best friend’s twin sister’s mom’s husband and it’s going to blow up in his face, but doesn’t make it any less rough.

      1. Yotsuyasan

        No, Michael is cheating on Beth with your mom. He found a nickel on the floor, and had to spend it on something.

        1. AdInfinitumSpero

          I was never certain if he was paying the nickel or getting paid the nickel

        2. Yotsuyasan

          I always understood that he paid it. Because your mom is a whore.

        3. Jenny Creed

          It could work either way. Maybe he’s a nickel gigolo and that’s the best your mom can get.

  17. MM

    Is it too soon for a “Damn you, Willis”?

    1. RickZarber

      Never. If things get worse (“if”, HAH) you can just use more capslock and go again.

    2. EvilPenguin

      It’s never too soon for a “Damn you Willis”.

    3. Yotsuyasan

      Hell, there were people anticipating this yesterday and pre-emptively damning Willis. There is no “too soon.”

      Only Zuul.

      1. Ocbrad1

        +1

  18. TrueVCU

    BETRAYAL

    1. Havoc

      BETRAYED ME

  19. Foxhack

    “It’s… IT’S JUST MY MOUTHWASH!”

    1. Yotomoe

      No lie. Booze flavored Mouthwash would totes be a thing. Just to prank people into thinking you’re drunk.

    2. David

      Single malt toothpaste.

      1. Ocbrad1

        Hey, that arbiter of all things hip, Ke$ha, once brushed her teeth with a bottle of Jack, so it’s totes possible.

  20. Deathjavu

    Many of us called it.

    Congrats us

    now we may all weep together for this tragically sunken ship, crashed a mere 24 hours out of port.

    1. Mr. Random

      But it was Unsinkable! How could it have been sunk?

      1. carl320

        BilliexRuth = The Titanic of DoA ships

        (Too soon?)

        1. Opus the Poet

          That’s the good ship Rullie to you.
          (walks away grumbling about people not reading the comments from previous comics…)

        2. Mr. Random

          Bilth. Because this is just dirty.

        3. Flare

          It’s been, like, one hundred years, people are over it

        4. Miao

          Instead of an iceberg they get hit by a truck

    2. Deathjavu

      I wonder if drinking is an appropriate method to mourn the loss of this ship…

      Well, might as well test the theory.

      1. DEG1377

        This is the future. We want to know if it worked.

        1. Deathjavu

          Report: drinking numbs pain but creates headaches.

          Not recommended for those who had to get up at 7am for class

          >_<

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          Well, headaches are pain and drinking numbs pain.
          Do the math.

    3. The Candyman

      Eh, they’ll probably get back together once this fence is hurdled.

    4. Mr K

      Does this mean I can start shipping Sal and Billie together?

      1. Syclamoth

        That would make you Sillie.

        1. Mr K

          Booo!

    5. Rutee

      It’s probably not over yet. That would end the drama. And that would be Wrong.

      Whether the peons will manage to patch the leaks or the thing will sink to the bottom of the ocean is still anyone’s guess. It’s definitely taking on water though.

  21. LockeSonjie

    Annnnnnnd, there’s the other shoe. Ouch, dis…gonna be bad.

  22. wanderingeye

    Well that didn’t take long 🙁

  23. Luke

    WELP. That’s the end of that.

  24. Miao

    Drops to knees

    Screams and sobs

  25. alicemacher

    And this is why I didn’t get TOO excited about yesterday’s strip.

  26. newllend

    ooh BUSTED.

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      The tag has been pulled! now for sadness!

  27. Super Duper

    No. NonononononononononononononoOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
    DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HFIL!

  28. SUGauthor

    Dammit Willis, you gave me whiplash.

  29. Grimlock64

    She had ONE job!

    1. SilverArrowArtemis

      ONE. JOB.

      1. David

        More like a NONE job. She underwhelmed by overachieving.

    2. Drunken Nordmann

      Last reference I would have expected under this page.

  30. Maveric1984

    Yeaaaah, I kinda saw that coming. Still, a hell of a strip today.

  31. Friday

    She made it 4 panels. That’s got to be some kind of record.

  32. NerdHerder

    And we have a NEW RECORD!!!!!

    Damn you, Willis.

  33. Nora

    GASP!

    HOW COULD YOU BILLIE!

  34. licoricepencil

    OH SHIT WHO CALLED IT

    1. Opus the Poet

      EVERYONE!

      1. Levi

        And now everyone’s having stress-related heart attacks because of this strip.

  35. MikeSpader

    Maybe her tongue is just… stained? That’s a thing, right?

    DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY I MAY HAVE BEEN SHIPPING THEM SINCE DAY ONE MAYBE

  36. Quatoria

    God damn it. This is exactly what I was expecting, and it’s still awful. 🙁

    1. Quatoria

      Which is to say – DAMN YOU WILLIS!

  37. Andynerd

    David WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    1. timemonkey

      Too many perform a sex jokes.

      1. Aizat

        How can there be a sex jokes?

        1. Yotomoe

          “Your Mom” is a sex joke.

        2. Aizat

          No…I mean a sex JOKES. It’s the inner pedantic in me talking

        3. Porglezomp

          It’s the “perform a sex” jokes. It’s a bit confusing because he left out the quotes.

        4. AgentKeen

          “What did one sex say to the other sex…”

        5. Yotsuyasan

          “Is this an f, n, or g?”

        6. The Specter

          That is offensive.

        7. AdInfinitumSpero

          not sure how pedantic you’re being, but the problem is he forgot the ” around ‘perform a sex’ as in ” Too many ‘perform a sex’ jokes”

  38. Yotomoe

    Knew it.

  39. Sammie1053

    Similar to Ruth in tomorrow’s strip, I WANT TO MURDER EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

  40. AJBulldis

    Hmm…what will hit first, the sudden realization as to why Billie was being weird, or just a sense of rage and betrayal?

  41. Well_Played

    Well Played Willis. Well Played.

    1. Mr. Random

      Well played, well_played. Well played.

  42. Triniking

    Willis sunk the ship.

    1. Aizat

      Well, that’s the second ship I see sunk in 12 hours.

      1. newllend

        What was the first?

        1. Aizat

          Flame Princess and Finn.

        2. newllend

          Oh ya I saw that episode, cinnamon bun really?

        3. AgentKeen

          I just want to shake Finn when he acts like that, I really do.

        4. Aizat

          Yeah, what the heck? Since when Cinnamon Bun suddenly becomes a bad ass?

        5. newllend

          All I know is that he owned Finn on All levels

        6. Aizat

          Last time we saw him, he was wandering around the woods with a tray of drinks and now, he’s a badass? I still don’t believe that.

        7. newllend

          I feel as if I want too slap him upside the back of his head and say ” you got out staged by CINNAMON BUN! get your shit together!”

        8. Aizat

          Yeah…and did Finn just forgot about his awesome sword? Could’ve come in handy in jail. Really, if you think about, Finn pretty much have no need to be in the episode. The Fire Lord was handled by the Fire King, Cinnamon Bun can hold his own…really Finn is pretty much useless….which then it hit me. Whose to say that CB brought Finn along just to rub it in?

        9. Mr. Random

          Well, it ALL starts at around the first time we meet Ricardio.
          Something in TVTropes, the fridge section, mentioned something. CB did a flip and landed on his head. It’s implied that he became brain damaged because of this.
          Aside from this, if you notice CB’s eyes when his hat, and more importantly his head is hit, they grow. Similar to how they looked during the party, all those years ago.
          The hit, thrown by a wizard, fixed his brain.
          He speaks more fluently, he pontificates well.
          It never WAS specified though, what he did for PB.
          I think he was a knight.
          Because.
          Now, he’s a knight.

        10. Allcool-dontcare

          How about the ss mordaret? (Mordecai and Margaret)

        11. Aizat

          Well, the SS Mordaret still has a chance. Margaret is just put on a bus, it’s not really a breakup. The bus’ll come back.

        12. Yotsuyasan

          My god, I shipped Finn and FP real hard… but after that episode, I couldn’t blame FP in the slightest. Finn really Danned it up good.

          He was being a downright creeper… Dude needs to just back off the lady biz for a bit and concentrate on his hero stuff. Otherwise, he may not be a hero much longer. (And then we’ll have Adventure Time with Cinnamon Bun and Jake!)

        13. Allcool-dontcare

          Well that is what the new episodes are about

        14. Aizat

          I’m still pissed at the Cosmic Owl about that. Finn didn’t blew it, you did, you Cosmic A-hole.

        15. newllend

          Fuck you cosmic Owl

        16. Aizat

          Heck, from that episode onwards, things been rolling down hill for Finn.

        17. Yotsuyasan

          I think Willis and the Owl are in cahoots.

  43. TheKelliestKelly

    It’s like, I love the hover text but it ruins all dramatic tension.

  44. Aizat

    You see, DoA readers? There’s nothing that Willis cannot take away

    1. Aizat

      By the way, I’m misquoting Belloq.

      1. nothri

        So what you are saying is that if we find the arc of the covenant we can use it to melt Willis’ face?

        1. Aizat

          Well, that is if you can find it. Top men are assigned to guard it.

        2. nothri

          Bah. Handful of Russian spies should be all it takes.

  45. bunivasal

    My roommate is playing a little game of team slayer in my living room. As I read this, all I heard was “Betrayal”.

  46. VizardJeffhog

    SHAKING MY FIST WILLIS

  47. Wonder Wig

    WHHHHYYYY WHHYYY WHYYYYYYY

  48. Ele

    Damn it, damn it, damn it. This sucks, Willis. Sucks.

  49. Spectre

    Welp, this was bound to happen. Especially given that Dotty/Walky hogged all of the cast’s supply of happiness rations.

    1. Yotomoe

      Those happiness gluttons.

      1. AJBulldis

        Happiness is zero-sum in Willis universes? That explains so much…

        1. Phil

          Not only zero-sum, but diminishing returns every time it gets passed around. Occasionally the system gets a refresh, but not often.

  50. Mr. Random

    BOOM! Called it. One day real-time!
    Also,
    Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

  51. Aizat

    I don’t see this as a sunk ship…just grounded for the moment.

    1. David

      Where is the screw propeller when you need it?

    2. DEG1377

      I agree. There’s some character development to happen, but I hold out hope for this pairing.

  52. RobHagen

    Damn you, Willis!

  53. ridtom

    “Shit we’ve been compromised! ABORT! ABORT!”

  54. Nick J.

    Dammit, Billie. You couldn’t wait a few hours to get your booze on. Now we’ll have to wait a whole year for another kiss ;.;

  55. derick

    Aaaaaand it’s over.

    1. Aizat

      It’s not over till the fat lady sings…and since there is no singing….you get the idea.

      1. Yotsuyasan

        So, are you suggesting that Billie’s going to try to lure Ruth back with a siren song?

  56. Keroshino

    Oh Dammit…Billie blocked!!!

  57. Lilith

    Noooooo!!!!!!

  58. LionHeart

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  59. Meyers was Here

    Oh boy! Billie is Danning things up in here. Dannington’s Disease is contagious

  60. T Campbell

    So yeah, I guess that “time bomb” I talked about yesterday was set to about nine seconds! Here we go!

    KA-BWOOOOOOO… slowmotion’splosion…

  61. John

    Well, it’s nicer than, “No! Fuck off!”

    C’mon, Billie. Tell her you slipped up. Apologize. Suggest that it’d be easier not to slip up again if she were there for you. In your bed.

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie can’t hear you. And even if she could her actions were predecided months ago. THERE’S NO STOPPIN’ THIS.

      1. John

        What, like that means I can’t control her actions via sympathetic magic through my gravatar?

        1. xKiv

          You are also not one of the voices in her head. (is that good or bad?)

      2. nothri

        Yeah, well, if there’s one thing Willis as a storyteller likes to do its have characters become inspired and salvage a bad situation at the 11th hour. So there’s hope.

  62. Ace

    I was hoping Billie would end up confessing and apologising. But nope. Willis the killjoy. Damn you, Willis.

    1. Eukie

      Have you tried confessing and apologising while having a competition with someone about whose tongue can first taste the other’s tonsils?

      I haven’t, but I imagine it’s difficult to speak and kiss at the same time. (There’s also, you know, tomorrow’s panels. Billie can still screw this up even further. I mean, confessing and apologising.)

      1. Khantalas

        It’s. It that difficult, it’s just rude and no one’s in the mood to listen to an apology at that moment.

        ((Speaking from experience?))

        1. Eukie

          As as I said, I haven’t tried to confess and apologise to someone while our tongues are all over each other like a pair of hyperactive slugs during mating season…

          …but I imagine it can’t be any easier than any other form of talking with your mouth full.

    2. The Specter

      Haha “apolgise” is British, it’s “apologize” that is used over here. 😉

      1. moby

        …Is that supposed to be funny?

  63. Kernanator

    And lo, a cry was heard throughout the land. A cry of anguish and betrayal. A cry of “DAMN YOU, WILLIS!”

  64. Tikitori

    DAMN. No Slipshine story.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Still possible, just not highly probable.

  65. Regalli

    It still hurts. But this was pretty much destined to happen.

  66. Darwin

    NUUUUUUUUUUU! Billy, you have to turn in your chip!

  67. milk experiment

    DAMN YOU WILLIS.

    *sigh* I’ve been reading Willis’s comics for several years now. This sensation is familiar, but it still stings. On the bright side, nobody’s dead! 😀

    (yet.)

  68. GoogerGeiger

    The ship can still be saved, right?

    Right…?

    🙁

    1. Blue

      Given what it’s been through so far, I’m pretty sure it will still be around after this. Not without a lot of pain in the interim, though.

  69. Rhy

    DAMN YOU WILLIS

  70. Giant Speck

    Damn, you really have a way of caressing us gently and then slamming our face into the floor.

    1. LiaHansen

      I like Willis’ work and all, but I honestly think I’d rather have him slamming my face into the floor than “caressing me gently”.

      1. ninja_jesus

        But what if he was caressing your ego with compliments? :O

  71. Tacdud2

    Well there goes the reservations.

  72. Hoban_Washburne

    Damn your sudden but inevitable betrayal!!!

  73. KingMabel

    No..its not alcohol… just go back to kissing…please?

  74. Baker

    She wanted to talk about it though, it was why she said she didn’t deserve the cheerleader outfit. Oh well Billie, should have said something sooner I guess. Now to return to awkward relationship uncertainty.

  75. Phil

    Denied

  76. Sean

    Nooooooooooo what nooooooo aw dang D:

  77. Kas

    You know what? THANK YOU, WILLIS! I dreaded that this would get dragged out.

    1. Graq

      I agree, let’s pull off that bandaid now. Keep things rolling.

      1. Kas

        The fall-out is going to be bad, but just imagine how much worse it could have been if they had continued where this was leading and the truth didn’t come out until later.

    2. Jackson

      Seriously. When I said a couple strips ago that Billie needed to come clean NOW, I meant it. Hopefully it’s not too late.

      Dammit Billie! Why didn’t you listen to me shouting my advice from the other side of the fourth wall?

      1. Khantalas

        Because the strips were written long before you commented and you don’t have magical powers to retroactively change the past?

        1. Jackson

          Get your linear time nonsense out of here.

        2. xKiv

          I don’t think the horadric cube would help herenow.

    3. Greenygal

      Yeah, this. It was going to happen anyway, we all knew that, and now that shoe has dropped and we can proceed from there.

  78. newllend

    Man that ship got sunk rite when it was leaving the port.

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Not sunk! Just floundering! The ship just needs some serious time in dry dock!

      Dry… Like no booze…

      Er…

      I’ll get my coat…

      1. Kelly

        No need for the coat, I think it worked pretty well

  79. Kit

    Saw it coming, but I do believe a “DAMN YOU WILLIS” is still in order.

    1. Jon P

      DAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOO, WILLLLLIIIIIIIIS!

      how’s that?

      1. Aizat

        And now in Japanese: ONORE WILLIS!

      2. Kit

        Needs more crying.

  80. Alex Stritar

    … My ship. :'(

  81. Ry

    Everyone, join the chorus! If we chant it loud enough, maybe it can be heard from the lofty ivory tower in which that cheeky devil resides.

    *sucks in breath*

    DDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNN
    YYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUU
    WWWIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!

    1. Opus the Poet

      +1

    2. Leonou

      No, no, no you’re just making him stronger !
      The Willis feeds on reader’s tears and anger !

  82. Robert

    It’s not vodka, its Banaka.

  83. Aizat

    Huh…this must be Ship Sinking Week.

    1. HMRC4EVR

      Willis sank everyone’s Billieship.

  84. Yotomoe

    “I mean…I’m not mad. It’s just I can’t keep making out with you because then I will technically still be tasting alcohol. Wash out your mouth and then we will continue”

    1. DEG1377

      Still my favorite commenter. You are always full of good idea, Yotomoe.

      1. Yotomoe

        Stop You’re gonna make me blush!

  85. JijiBunny

    DAMMIT BILLIE. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

  86. ankhtahr

    Oh man, Mr Willis…

    I was about to thank you for yesterdays strip, but I was too scared of what might happen, so I decided to wait for todays strip. Couldn’t you have defied my speculations this one time?

  87. Salmo

    A few weeks or so ago, I noted that 12:15 was the fastest I’d seen it hit 100 comments. 12:12. New record? Anyway, I did pause to literally out loud say “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO”, so my timing might be off.

  88. Kurp

    NO YOU CAN’T DO THIS I WAS JUST STARTING TO LET MYSELF SHIP THEM

    1. angierhafai

      I’ve been shipping for a while. I knew this was going to happen but I fell into the trap. *desk flip*

  89. Jon P

    Billie, how did you even manage that? You just got home (from lunch with Walky, I think?), what did you smuggle a flask into the cafeteria?

    1. David Willis

      I hope it isn’t lunch! Amazi-Girl just fought her dad in the total darkness of night!

      1. Unspeakable Anger

        Maybe there was a total eclipse when Amazi-Girl was handing Blaine his teeth?

      2. xKiv

        It was a long dark stormy lunch-time of Billie, and the rain was actually booze.

    2. newllend

      Maybe she had a small sip before going back to her dorm

  90. demoneater

    DANGER! DANGER! THE SHIP IS SINKING!

    1. EvilPenguin

      ALL PERSONNEL REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO BATTLE STATIONS

      1. Ry

        NO YOU FOOL! THAT’S NO BATTLESHIP, IT’S AN AUTHORIAL HURRICANE!

        ABANDON SHIP! WOMEN AND LADYBOYS FIRST!

        1. Allcool-dontcare

          No we got a better solution. Everyone remain calm it the 20th century we can fix this ship

        2. Opus the Poet

          Dude the 20th ended like 13 years ago (13 years, 1 month, 12 days) This is the 21st Century. Duck Dodgers is due in 237 years +/- 😉

  91. Kyle

    Ruth’s hands. Ruth’s hands!

    Someone just earned a new traumatic red flashback panel, and for once it isn’t Amber.

  92. Ellie

    Well Billie, this is what happens when you layer track-pant leggings under shorts.

  93. Kschenke

    My boyfriend just said “That’s not a GOOD sign,” from his computer. And then I pulled up the website. He was right.

  94. Fuzzydaemon

    Good move, Billie!

  95. Jon P

    Well, at least we got to see Ruth and Billie ever so briefly sucking FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

  96. Chill

    ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

  97. berky

    GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!!!!

  98. Dorsilus

    well that was fast

  99. STEVE

    DAMN YOU WILLIS

  100. Hiccup

    Just….

    Aw, hell.

    Damn you, Willis.

  101. Tommy Bologna

    C’mon….let there be actual repercussions…

  102. Aizat

    You know…I was going to suggest that every time we see a DAMN YOU WILLIS comment, we take a shot…but I’m guessing that no one wants a hangover.

    1. Yotsuyasan

      But… wouldn’t taking a shot because of comments to this strip be kind of awful, regardless of hangovers?

      Anyway, I said it up above, I’ll say it again, and if anyone wants to take a shot, that’s their business…

      Damn you, Willis!

    2. David Willis

      THAT’S WHAT GOT US INTO THIS MESS

      1. Yotsuyasan

        Which was kind of my point. 🙂

        Oh, and by the way… Damn you!

  103. angierhafai

    Damn you Willis!

    Though, as a RA at my university, I did cringe yesterday. At least where I work, relations with anyone that lives in a building/floor you have access to (aka a resident) is a big nono. But my suspension of disbelief kicked in and things were okay.

    1. BlackIo

      Oh, I fully expect that’ll be the next big drama bomb after they recover from this little setback.

    2. John

      ‘Cause breaking into their rooms and stealing and vandalizing their stuff and tripping them and clotheslining them and getting drunk with them when you’re both underage aren’t big no-nos.

      Ruth is not a paragon of virtue is what I’m saying.

    3. insomniac

      Eh, the first thing Billie did after getting kissed was ask about getting Ruth fired. Sal kinda talked her out of it.

      They don’t make the rules unless people are breaking them.

      1. insomniac

        And, when Billie brought it up to Daisy, it was pointed out that it could be both bad and litigious.

        So yeah, not that it has no consequences in Dumbiverse, just Ruth not making ideal choices.

  104. Mistress Monkey

    Damn you Willis!

  105. Vash

    NOOOO DAMN YOU WILLIS

  106. SilverArrowArtemis

    I KNEW IT.

    I say to myself, “I give it a day” and now look. Ruined.

  107. Philippe G.

    Wait.
    Doesn’t it always taste like that?

  108. Ridureyu

    Clearly, Danny force-fed it to her.

  109. Plasma Mongoose

    And so the champagne bottle that was used to launch this ship had way too much alcohol in it, thus it caught on fire and burnt it to the ground.

    1. AJBulldis

      It didn’t help that this ship was launched on a sea of hard liquor.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        At least this relationship didn’t end with a car wreck.

        1. AJBulldis

          YET.

      2. Rheinman

        That’s what Ive been waiting for. Sadly it will be in the NSFW section.

  110. miilkshake

    I’ll be in my bu- DAMN YOU WILLIS!

  111. EvergreenFir

    Damn you Willis! Can you please please just let this end well? Is it too much to ask? (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

    1. GoSpeedRumpist

      ┬─┬ ~ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

  112. Jenny Creed

    So this is the chapter where everyone finds out everyone’s secrets? Ethan better hide. In a closet.

  113. bibulb

    That was an awfully fast other shoe drop.

    Also, a very HEAVY thump for that second shoe to make.

    This shall not be pretty.

  114. Todd

    Licky style!

  115. Sammie1053

    Let’s hope Ruth interprets that philosophically instead of literally and takes it as a sign that she’s addicted to Billie?
    *Awaits angry mob*

    1. WaveRocker

      *out of crowd of people, points a fork. not a pitchfork, but a salad fork, with a crouton on it. points for in your direction while addressing you*
      I think that’s an interesting theory. Not super likely, but still pretty interesting.

  116. nothri

    Expected as much.

    Not sure how much of a thing it has to be, though.

    “I know. I’ve been strong these last three days, but last night I broke down and had a drink. I’ve hated myself for it ever since. This morning I was breaking down and running away from you because I couldn’t face you or what I did. I’ve been looking for a way to tell you all morning. I’m sorry. I know I said I’d be the alpha lady jerk here- I’d be the strong one that gets you through this. And I still want to. But I figured out I’m not as strong as I thought, and I can’t carry both of us like I thought I could. You have every right to be angry, but please don’t give up on this! I need your help too. Maybe we can carry each other from now on? I know I fucked this up. Let me try again. Please?”

    Yeah, maybe its wishful thinking. Maybe a few words can’t change the sense of betrayal. Maybe they’re both too broken to really have a relationship anyway. All I’m saying is, I don’t think it is impossible. Even after all this.

    1. nothri

      Then again, maybe I’m just pulling a Homer Simpson. “Its still good! Its still good!”

      http://www.hulu.com/watch/19878

      (Thanks for relocating this one, Willis! You are the best, toy with our hopes and dreams though you might.)

      1. nothri

        All that being said, I will keep my gravatar picture the way it is. Consider it the metaphorical candle for the Vigil I am holding hoping that our now comatose ship might at some point regain consciousness.

  117. WaveRocker

    I honestly thought it would take longer for this truth to out, but I guess we need to stay on our toes with Willis. Damn you Willis…

  118. newllend

    Wow, this week is starting to suck ass in the romantic department.

    1. Aizat

      Told ya, it’s ship sinking and love hurts week. Well…unless you’re a certain ghost with 3 hands. And it’s kinda ironic considering this particular week.

      1. Yotsuyasan

        Willis has a few days to fix this if he wants to give us all a present for that day you’re alluding to!

        So of course that won’t happen…

        And even though things look like they have a chance of heading in a positive direction with Danny and Amber once they can have a good conversation, just to keep us all miserable and screaming, “Damn you, Willis,” that won’t happen before Valentine’s Day either.

        So what will our present be? What is the most horrible thing he can do to all of our hearts within the next few days?

        Will we discover that Dorothy, when leaping out of the top bunk of that bed, slipped and snapped her neck?

        Will Joyce and Ethan get engaged?

        Will the Valentine’s Day strip just be a nude pin-up of Blaine?

        DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

        1. Aizat

          Oh God…why did you give me that mental image?

        2. Yotsuyasan

          Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

          (Cough.)

        3. Dranorter

          The worst thing that could happen?

          Ruth, enraged, hits Billie again.

          AmaziGirl gets herself committed for psychological treatment as a danger to herself and others.

          Dorothy gets pregnant?

  119. cdot

    damn i called it and now i really wish i didnt

    1. nothri

      Yeah, way to jinx it!

      Yes, I know these were scripted and drawn out weeks if not months in advance. All that shows is that you jinxed it so bad you broke spacetime in the process and caused retroactive doom.

  120. MechaMaidFan7

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  121. OhNoUDiNt

    Best way to get a buzz without actually having to drink.

  122. Kiggy

    Hmmmm that’s some hot french kiss action :)~~~~~

  123. Estron

    So, what’s going on with Sierra and Joe?

  124. Patrick

    How did we not see this coming? Don’t kid a kidder.

  125. TaintedSpud

    YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I knew it!

    *prepares tear cup* Come to daddy!

    1. TaintedSpud

      Actually, I gotta put this. Willis, you are a master.

      http://i.imgur.com/v06N8.gif

  126. Kishimobot

    DAMMMMMMMMMNNYYUUUUUOOWWWIILLLLLIIIIIIIIIIISSSS

  127. The Weirdo

    … *pulls out an empty glass and some condiments* By the gods, my tears will taste delicious this week. So much raw sadness I’ll consume.

    1. TaintedSpud

      And I’ll show up and steal those tears. B
      ecause I’m twisted like that.

      1. nothri

        You fool. Tears are salty. They will either make you throw up or kill you! I recommend bathing in them instead. It allows for the same show of contempt for their pain and suffering and won’t destroy you in the process.

        1. The Weirdo

          Actually, filling a kiddie pool with them and then proceeding to frolic in them feels just fantastic. But only when they’re other people’s tears. Doing it in my own just makes me sad.

          Well, sadder.

  128. Cliff

    Sigh. And there it is. Who else is ready to not have this issue resolved for the next few months as we fumble around? -_____-

  129. Ikaru

    Damn you Willis! You take so much pleasure in torturing us! *weeps bitter tears*

    1. TaintedSpud

      *places cup under your eyes* Mmmm… bitter tears. My favorite.

  130. Glacirus

    I wish I could say I called it…but I honestly expected Billie to have gone long enough and eaten something strong enough to mask the taste of booze…Guess not.

    Now…what will Billie have to steal for Ruth for forgiveness?

  131. TheCollector444

    Holy crap, I think Willis discovered the secret to getting the most posts. Lesbian drama. I mean we have 245 in the past hour and a half. Holy crap.

    1. Evergreenfir

      Billie is bi

  132. Jake

    Damn! Wouldn’t that kiss put Ruth at risk of relapsing? Billie, what have you done!?

  133. saltchocolate

    “No, it just takes 10 days to fully unpickle a tongue that has been as far up in the bottle as mine was…” Do we think Billie could say this with a straight face??

  134. Krimson

    Please don’t make this storyline hurt.

    1. chuckroast

      It already hurts.

  135. Paul

    Does anyone have the link for the strip where Billie “feel off the bandwagon?” I remember them making the pact not to drink, and I’m taking everyone’s word for it (and, well, the comic) that she did, but for the life of me I can’t remember it happening.

    1. John

      Here.

  136. Megatron

    I like you David.

  137. Evergreenfir

    Seriously. This is my ship. My OTP. You let Walky and Dorothy have a sex. Danny and Amber had their moment. Why can’t you let this awesome couple be happy? Do you fear their awesomeness? Their superiority over all other ships? Why must you litter their waters with icebergs? There are not enough tables in the world to satisfy my flip needs.

  138. Dakhran

    My prediction? Tomorrow will be a scene change. To a Dina-centric joke. Unrelated to any of the current ships, floating, sinking, or sunk.

    1. Leonou

      Naaah, Dina’s cuteness would act as an anesthetic to the shipper’s pain.
      So of course what we’ll have is Mike.

  139. DiDi

    Omigod, dude! People actually predicted this! I read one and I was pretty sure they weren’t serious but there you go.

    Aw, man. I feel bad. Things had just gotten nice.

    Looks like Walky and Dorothy still have the monopoly on stability.

  140. nothri

    Think I’ll close out and go to bed by offering another possible outcome to this happening. Even less likely, but far more whimsical. And perverted.

    Billie: Oh shit.

    Ruth: You’ve been drinking behind my back? WHAT THE HELL.

    Billie: I’m sorry! I made a mistake! I…I guess you don’t want to do anymore…

    Ruth: Excuse me? Oh no you don’t. You think you get off that easy? Fuck that. Not only are we dating, we are finishing this cold turkey shit. I’m making sure of it.

    Billie: ..what do you mean?

    Ruth: You just violated your parole, tubby! From now on you can consider yourself on lockdown, and I’m the goddamn warden. And you can damn well be sure you aren’t getting any more alcohol in here.

    Billie: ..Okay, that’s fair, I guess. But how do you intend to-

    Ruth: Random breathalyzer tests.

    Billie: ..by which you mean..

    Ruth: That you and I will be making out several times a day for the foreseeable future, yes.

    Billie: ..Yeah. Okay. I can live with that. Umm…does this prison include handcuffs or strip searches.

    Ruth: Stay sober and we’ll talk.

    1. Marianne

      Which all leads into being the inspiration for… Faz and Faz performs a sex.

    2. moby

      Er, I like this solution.

    3. Khantalas

      It just occurred to me that if Billie and Ruth are actually alcoholic, quitting cold turkey could easily be lethal, so I don’t know what they were thinking.

  141. Keroshino

    F%#K you Willis…now I am sad 🙁

  142. Badeyes

    So satan just showed up on my doorstep looking for a place to crash.
    “That damn Willis has taken over, doing all the torture… I’m bored and needed a vacation anyway, he can have it.”

  143. sumolegend

    WAIT wait it’s not so bad if you just read the strip backwards! Phew!

    1. nothri

      Yeah. Though it says something awful about Ruth’s ability to stay on the wagon.

  144. Beachfox

    Billie -Doesn’t- Perform A Sex
    Ruth Does Perform An Intervention

  145. Prez

    It’s only her dentifrice!!! y_y

  146. ninja_jesus

    щ(ಥДಥщ) Billie! Bow down in forgiveness!

  147. kenny

    Ruth: you know what, screw it! lets go back to kissing! Intervention tomorrow!!

  148. Rani

    TRAP SPRUNG

  149. The Cozburger

    BUSTED!

    And I don’t mean she has a rack, either…

  150. Rani

    Sound at Panel 4:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYDkQ4s80SQ

  151. Hollister Dixon

    I wish the LEGO Movie hadn’t JUST come out, I need a gif of Bad Cop throwing a chair around to fully express my feelings right now.

  152. Robin

    nooooo.

  153. Megasteve

    GAME OVER! ABORT, ABORT!

  154. Idon'tcarenomore

    Just in time for Valentine’s Day. Yay.
    Damn you Willis.

  155. CianM1301

    Well, that was fast.

  156. zana

    But they are so cute and it’s the only time we see that they have a side besides bongo. Damn you Wills.

  157. Hikaru

    noooooooo…
    [cries softly]

  158. 0kami

    Yesterday’s strip: Well, looks like things are pretty much patched up betwe- OMG EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    Today’s strip: -EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEyousunnufab**chwillis…

    Seriously, what a case of mood whiplash. Will they ever know true passion???

  159. Laser Jesus

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    1. Laser Jesus

      OOOOOOOH SHIT

  160. Pinja

    Guess I will have to wait another year for hot lesbian 69ing action.

    1. BlackIo

      That avatar is entirely too perfect.

      1. Pinja

        You wouldn’t believe how many people have said that.

  161. Kevin

    God dammit

    1. Kevin

      Well, there’s one way to salvage this mess.

      “You taste like alcohol.

      …

      I love it!”

  162. BlackIo

    Welp, the only upside is that this is getting out now, as opposed to months down the line when there’s an actual, honest-to-gosh relationship to torpedo.

  163. GhostWriter

    I guess I’m the only one who is actually kind of glad that this bump in the road to ‘sexytime’ got hit? The whole relationship seems forced and a typical “ooooh they hated each other so much but were secretly trying to find ways to boink!” trope and… yeah… no. Plenty of relationships start out and end up that way I suppose, but the ‘romance’ here is toxic and based on a mutual oath made to purge said toxicity, of which was broken not even a day after it was made (by Billy, of course).

    Maybe it’s just me but given that this Ruth has the potential to not end up dead in an act of martyrdom, she could do better than catering to the gaping emotional void she’s been trying to fill up with booze and now some hormonal ‘romance’ with a stuck up brat. I hope she wisens up and realizes she’s likely only attracted to Billy because all she knows are dysfunctional relationships and drops her like the bad habit she is for breaking her oath. I also sincerely hope Ruth keeps up on her end of her oath instead of falling back into it out of some twisted thinking that it wasn’t worth even trying since Billy flaked out on her end of the deal.

    1. BlackIo

      Eh. I kind of feel like you’re glossing over a lot of the character development between these two that’s taken place in the past year, especially when you write Billie off as a “stuck up brat.” Yes, she fell off the wagon – but it’s also obvious that she feels regretful and guilty as hell about it in the face of Ruth’s gratitude.

      Worse, Billie seems like she has a lot of trouble talking about her feelings or opening up (an interesting contrast to Ruth, who continuously overshares), so she covers by either making snarky remarks or just running off – behavior that might look “bratty” at first glance, but speaks to larger emotional insecurities underneath. As for her snobby, clique-ish attitude elsewhere in the comic, a lot of that seems to stem from her absent parents and fairly empty personal life.

      To me, the appeal of the Billie-Ruth relationship is the fact that they’re broken people, but broken in a weirdly complementary way. They come across as lonely and in desperate need of emotional validation, but still try like hell to put up a strong facade around others. At the same time, both seem completely unprepared for other people actually doing nice things for them – that somebody would want to help them, or take an interest in their lives or well-being is treated as this utterly foreign concept.

      And as nobody else on campus really seems to give much of a damn about them, they’re left attempting to care for one another in their own dysfunctional, haphazard way. Neither of them seems terribly well equipped for it, but the fact that they’re still trying makes the whole relationship oddly sweet.

      1. Eukie

        That’s pretty close to how I analyse them/my headcanon; Billie grew up with absent parents and few friends (mostly Walky, according to Walky). Cheerleading is/used to be pretty central to her identity and the feeling of being loved, and with her DUI and Walky and Joyce having less time for her, she’s taking pretty strong hits to her self-esteem.

        1. BlackIo

          I actually knew somebody a lot like Billie growing up – half-Japanese, mother perpetually away on business, father completely disengaged (and with a second secret family on the side!). She was pretty bookish and down-to-earth through middle school, but when she hit high school, she basically did everything in her power to make herself popular and get the attention and affirmation she wasn’t getting at home, right down to the athlete boyfriends. (Amusingly, the parallels don’t end there, since she eventually married some random loser she met in college.)

          That’s why I find it very easy to see the same thing happening to Billie: growing up spending a lot of time with Walky watching cartoons or playing video games, then hitting puberty and wanting something a little more substantial. So she reinvents herself as Queen Bee of the school, and the rest is history.

          The thing I find very sympathetic about Billie (and the thing I feel a lot of people miss when they write her off as shallow or bratty) is the fact that she really moved heaven and earth to help her high school friends when they got into trouble, but if her Twitter is anything to go by, those selfsame “friends” completely abandoned Billie after her DUI.

          So she starts college having seen 4+ years of work and relationships go down the toilet, leaving her with absolutely nothing. She’s gained a fair bit of weight. The “cool” kids want nothing to do with her. She can’t even get a random hookup going, regardless of how much she lowers her standards (hi, Danny!). And then on top of everything, there’s this redheaded psychopath who seems to have made it her life’s mission to make Billie’s existence as miserable as possible…

        2. Eukie

          Danny isn’t “just” lowering her standards though; she pretty much throws herself at him when he’s the first and only person to “validate” her by telling her she’s so attractive she’s probably a cheerleader.

          (Ruth must be pretty good at reading people; she was able to tell exactly which aspects of Billie’s self-esteem to attack when she wanted to hurt her.)

        3. BlackIo

          Considering how badly she misread Billie’s guilt earlier in this storyline, I’m more inclined to chalk it up to Ruth jumping at the most obvious and hurtful insult available to her. Billie is pretty much the biggest girl in Ruth’s wing.

        4. Eukie

          I was also thinking of the cheerleader thing.

      2. nothri

        I agree with your analysis. Though it has awakened a new character interpretation in me that I’m concerned about.

        Despite what Ghostwriter here claims, we have reason to believe Billie was sticking with the program for at least the first three days:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/removed/

        As you say, Billie has a lot of trouble opening up. Which leads to this conversation:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/privy/

        She starts drinking that night.

        So, fan theory, maybe she started backsliding because she saw how much Ruth was opening up to her, maybe even realized she WAS attracted to her, and caved under the stress that caused?

        1. Eukie

          I’d say it’s hard to pick singular reasons; Billie has several reasons to feel extremely stressed that night, and out of those, “attraction to Ruth” is less likely than “concerned for Ruth as a friend/fellow human being”, “reminded yet again that her parents don’t pay attention to her”, “painfully reminded that she’s no longer a cheerleader”, not to mention the obvious “addiction is hard to break”.

          Relapses because it’s a stressful day? Almost certainly. Relapses specifically because she admits to herself her love for Ruth? Eh…

        2. nothri

          Yeah, this is true, Family Day was hell on wheels for everyone and Billie certainly had a LOT of stuff on her mind might have contributed. Her conversation with Walky about simplicity versus complications (I’d link it, but I’ve been throwing around a lot of links lately and I’m starting to feel like I’m abusing the power) just made me start thinking that getting together with Ruth might have been on her mind for quite some time now. But I fully take your point- even if there’s some truth to my theory, it would have just been one of a hundred contributing factors to a fairly stressful semester.

        3. nothri

          And apparently I can’t get through one long post about my thoughts without sacrificing a sentence to the gods of broken english. Pardon my grammar.

        4. BlackIo

          Well, there’s enough messy aspects to their relationship to keep anybody up at night:

          Uncertainty: Billie knows Ruth is attracted to her on at least some level and may try to act on it again. Added problem: whichever part of Billie chose to kiss Ruth back isn’t necessarily opposed to the idea.

          Guilt: Though Ruth insists otherwise, I wouldn’t be surprised if Billie still feels responsible for Ruth holing up in her room for two days and nearly drinking herself to death.

          Worry: Ruth has ongoing issues with depression, as well as some unspecified family drama going on in the background, either of which could flare up at any moment.

          [My guess on that front: Her grandfather currently controls her and Howard’s share of their parents’ estate, and she has to kowtow to him in order to keep her tuition money flowing. Inheritance law in Ontario would have given her her share when she turned 18, but there might have been extenuating circumstances, especially given her relocation to the US.]

          In addition, Billie now knows Ruth might also be wrestling with questions around her sexual orientation, since she didn’t identify as bi up until the point she tried to make a pass at Billie. Ruth seems to have come to terms with that fact, but Billie doesn’t know that yet.

          Tension: Even though Ruth and Billie now get along, there’s still that tension you get when somebody who was physically and emotionally abusing you just days ago suddenly switches gears and tries to play nice.

          On the other hand, as an alcoholic, Billie’s probably gotten used to going to sleep buzzed. It might just be that old habits die hard.

        5. nothri

          Its true.

          And to be fair there is some evidence to support the idea that Billie has been cheating on going sober all along- she wasn’t getting sick the way Ruth was over these last 3 days, although she claimed to be. I’m assuming Billie is being honest with her sobriety over those days mostly because of that off-hand comment she blurted out to the front desk lady about being sober for three d-no months. I figure if she was gonna make that kind of slip of the tongue it anyway it wouldn’t coincide with what she was telling Ruth unless it was true. But I’ve been wrong before and I’m certainly guilty of *wanting* to believe in Billie.

          The tragic thing about addictive behavior is that it often has to do with other things in your life you don’t want to deal with, things that will creep back in with a vengeance while your struggling with ending the addictive behavior. I don’t know yet if that’s the case with either Ruth or Billie, but it has been a worry of mine for awhile.

        6. John

          Unless what she started to tell Asma was just repeating the lie she’d gotten used to telling Ruth each day, before she realized she had to revise it for this audience. Say something often enough, and it starts to become your reality, even if you know it’s not true.

          I want to believe in Billie, too, but I’m not sure I can.

        7. BlackIo

          Well, looks like your mistrust was well-placed.

  164. JustShy

    …fuck.

    As someone that’s made so many well-meaning promises and told so many well-meaning lies and just waited for them to backfire, all I have to say is:

    I’m so sorry. I love you, but I’m so sorry that I’m not who you need me to be.

    1. JustShy

      Seriously, this cut to the quick like no other comic ever has. A few songs I’ve heard recently hit home, too, but this…just…I was already having a rough night…I’ll dig up a song quote:

      “This is to anyone out there that’s listening
      From everyone that ever let you down and went missing
      Lovers, parents, best friends, and siblings
      Sometimes life conspires to make liars of good men”

  165. zoabeast

    Disaster incoming in 3…2…1…

  166. StClair

    There we go.

  167. David

    Well, at least Walky/Dorothy got somewhere or we’d be pretty much batting zero. And maybe Amber’s mom and Joe’s dad, but, well.

    I consider it likely that in the long run, the alcohol level of Ruth and Billie will assimilate but the process won’t be pretty, and there are a lot of options for the storywriter to make us unhappy.

    Great opportunity for a cliffhanger right here, but we’ll probably see Ruth taking the uniform with her for now. Or actually worse, leaving it there.

  168. Aurora

    I love that time moves so slowly in this comic that she still tastes like alcohol after drinking in October

  169. maxlines

    Well, that was over quick.

  170. Doc Harleen

    NNNNNOOOOOOOOO. Damn.

  171. BL

    And then all the ships just got ruined in all the comics all at once. Damn it.

  172. Gargamel

    *claps* *giggles*
    Neither person could deserve this more, of course it’s unfortunate real life isn’t so conclusive.

  173. Don't Mind Me

    Would anyone mind linking me the comic where we find out she’s still on the sauce? Everyone’s been talking about it and I don’t remember it happening 🙁

    1. JohnnyO

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/nightnight/

      1. Don't Mind Me

        Thank you, kind stranger!

  174. razcat

    Yesterdays comic – “Yes! Yes yes yes! Wooohooo!”

    Today’s comic- *gasp* “No!!! Noooooo!!!” *head desk*

  175. Leonou

    FGZHERGTKEZJFZGF AAAAAARGH !
    Damn You Willis ! (throws fit in the air)
    How dare you be such a jerk ? You already did the exact same thing last year : taunt the ship, have them kiss then … “N-No, Fuck Off” !
    …. why does it still hurt as much the second time ?

  176. JohnnyO

    This calls for an international damning:

    إلعنك، ويليس
    будь ты проклят, Уиллис
    Maldita sea, Willis

    1. Wack'd

      !לעזאזל אתך, ילס

    2. Quiwi

      Kirottu Willis!

  177. Just for kix

    B..but don’t you want these (_Y_)

  178. Crumplepunch

    …it’s delicious!

  179. Crumplepunch

    Billie, you said it was Snapple!

  180. DSL

    Say it, Willis. I dare you to say it:
    “Endings have to be earned.”

  181. Doulos

    I did not have a drink until into my thirties and even then it was only one salude. Can Ruth taste the alcohol from the previous night or did Billie sneak a drink during Amber’s fight?

  182. Mangulwort

    YESSS! EAT IT!

    1. John

      I think that’s probably not happening in the immediate future.

  183. Tufto

    Hah! Knew it!

  184. jonathan

    oops…can’t say I didn’t see that coming.

  185. Evan

    So many people saw this coming, Willis. You’re almost getting almost… predictable.

  186. SaveTheKakapo

    Does this mean no performing of sexes?

  187. Unspeakable Anger

    That was a sad moment. I could see it resolving in a handful of ways, some posted above, so I’ll reserve my “Damn you, Willis!” until I feel it’s appropriate. Definitely enjoying the emotional roller coaster, though.

  188. Yotsuyasan

    So, after a night’s sleep, the following thought occurred to me…

    I’m guessing that Billie’s slip-up was more then just the one bottle, then?

    At one time, she was proud to be three months days sober, so she initially was making an effort.

    The only time we saw her drinking was just the previous night, which (correct me if I’m wrong). And since it is now night time again, about a whole day has passed since then.

    In that time, one would hope that Billie would have brushed her teeth at least once. But even failing that, it is quite likely she’d have had at least one good meal since then (we do see her having lunch with Walkie), possibly more.

    Not being a big drinker myself, nor having dated any big drinkers, exactly how long does the taste of alcohol linger in one’s mouth? Especially if possibly brushing and definitely eating has occurred in the interim?

    What I’m getting at is… Since the taste is still in her mouth, can we assume that she’s had a more recent drink, then? Perhaps guilt over the first drink, especially in light of Ruth’s kind gesture of fixing the Dragons uniform, also combined with her own uncertainty over her own feelings towards Ruth… I’m guessing she may have done more drinking today?

    I was about to say, “God, I hope Ruth doesn’t burst into Billie’s room and find bottles everywhere!” But then I remembered, she’d have been in there already leaving the IU Uniform… But anyway, while I am sure there will be some hurt, please please please please let the follow up to this be a serious conversation, and not angry storming off followed by a year’s (real world time) of tension with no resolution!

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Oops… Ignore the “which (correct me if I’m wrong).” That was from an earlier version of that sentence, which I forgot to remove in the revision! (Pity there’s not a way to edit one’s comments…)

    2. BlackIo

      Well, it’s been a couple of hours since we last saw her, and I don’t think she was expecting Ruth to ambush her in her own room. (She also had to watch Walky and Dorothy engage in nauseatingly cute PDA, which would definitely warrant drinking.) I could easily imagine Billie keeping a flask around her person for “emergencies” like this.

  189. Bilfred

    Gosh dangit Billie.

  190. Papa Oleg

    I now see either a lesbian hatefuck porno… Or no porno.

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Well, I’m still (hopefully not foolishly) optimistic that things can be salvaged here… But in the worst case scenario, maybe we can still have “Ruth (and/or) Billie Performs a Masturbation.”

      No… On second thought… At this point, unless they do something together, anything else would just kind of be sad and unfulfilling…

      Not sure if I mean for the characters, or for us…

    2. Jackson

      At least we can always rely on the law of excluded middle.

  191. Arkadi

    It was called.

  192. Vree

    Wait! That’s how my saliva naturally tastes like! Because I’m drunk on life!

  193. Pjotroos

    I love how almost everyone was ready to crucify Danny, who genuinely meant well but screwed up because of things he didn’t know, and yet almost everyone is trying to find an excuse and explanation for Billie, who had all the information in the world and still screwed up simply because it was the easiest way out. I guess boobs make a difference. I for one hope for some serious backlash.

    1. Yotsuyasan

      I personally never was in on the Danny hate. (I like him! I hope things work out well with him and Amber.)

      As far as Billie and Ruth… They both have problems, and there was definitely going to be some shit at some point. My own personal frustration isn’t that it happened, but how it happened. Right smack in the middle of their first consensual kiss. Really? Damn you, Willis!

      Billie was clearly already racked with guilt over having fallen off the wagon again. Even if it delayed the much coveted kiss, I wish she could have confessed herself. Ruth could have still been pissed, we could have still gotten drama, but at least it would have put Billie in a stronger position for the eventual aftermath.

      Now, the best we can hope for is damage control. I said above, and I’ll repeat it here: I really hope, even if it starts as an angry argument, this leads into a conversation, and doesn’t just end with Ruth storming off and an additional year or so (real world time) of unresolved hurt and tension between the two of them…

      1. Pjotroos

        I reckon people make too much out of the first kiss. I’ve had some mighty awkward first kisses that led to a series of many more kisses, each better than the previous one. If everything works out in the end, you just think back to your own stupidity and laugh at it. If it doesn’t work out, you’re not laughing whether you kissed or not.

        Besides, Billie really needed this one to be painful. She had great chance to not screw up and she threw it away.

        1. BlackIo

          I think it’s less people wanting that first kiss to be ideal and more people, well, not wanting to wait half a year or more for a resolution to this latest relationship bomb. After Ruth first kissed Billie, the story didn’t shift back to them for four months – heck , it took three months just to get Billie and Ruth back in the same room after Billie ran off back in November. That’s the downside of having a large cast of characters and an ultra-decompressed narrative.

      2. Mangulwort

        I am sorry if I sound silly but I think Billie deserves this. She is forceing someone to change while she is changeing squat.

        1. Yotsuyasan

          How is Billie changing squat? If anything, Billie is trying to change herself more then she’s trying to change Ruth.

          The only change she’s trying to impose on Ruth is giving up alcohol. And that is one she’s trying to do herself, as well. She was successfully dry for three days. Yes, Billie slipped up. But for Billie and Ruth, alcohol is an addiction, it was almost inevitable that one of them would slip up at some point. One can only hope that Ruth recognizes this, and gives Billie the support she needs to get back on the wagon.

          But in addition to that change, Billie is making a rather big change in herself by questioning just what sort of person she might be attracted to, don’t you think?

          So what exactly does Billie deserve here? Not saying Ruth doesn’t have a right to be angry about this… but I just hope that anger is channeled into support (“How dare you? I thought we were doing this together! If you want any more kisses, I better not taste that on you again!”) and not rejection (“How dare you! I thought we were doing this together! I never want to see you again!”).

        2. BlackIo

          Message from the future: you’re absolutely right.

    2. nothri

      Honestly? Total bias. I find Billie a more interesting person than Danny. She started off extremely flawed and remains so, but has evolved as a character and has shown more depth and redeeming qualities as the series has gone on. Danny…well, look. There’s nothing wrong with Danny. He’s a nice guy, if a little oblivious. Pretty inoffensive as far as characters go. Certainly hasn’t done anything worthy of condemnation aside from finding a way to blindly walk further and further into a rising shitstorm and not realize it until it exploded all around him (which, if you take Dorothy’s breakup into account, is the second time this has happened to him over a girl). I totally have no objection if you like the guy- to me he’s just kinda milquetoast as a character. At least at the present moment. There was a time I thought Billie was just a stuck-up bongo who was hating on “nerds” due a highschool dynamic that no longer even applied to her. I thought Ruth was a demented bongo who liked to abuse her power as an RA. Sarah was another standoffish bongo, Joe was a big dumb jock, and similar uncharitable knee jerk reactions. But they’ve all grown as the series continued, and I expect them to keep on growing. Danny is showing promise in this area, and I feel like he’s gonna have some major evolution happen right around the corner. But for now he’s one of the least interesting characters to me, so I think I grade him on a different scale from a character who’s flaws and struggles I’ve seen more of and can empathize a little better with.

    3. John

      I judge Danny more harshly than Billie, because Billie has tried to do something really hard to change herself (seriously, she’s a drug addict; giving that up isn’t easy) for someone that she really has no reason to care about, and faltered and is wracked with guilt about it, and about Ruth continuing to treat her like she hasn’t failed, because she’s afraid to tell Ruth straight out that she faltered – though she has hinted at it with the “I don’t deserve this”.

      (At least I’m hoping she actually tried. I will be much more angry with her if it turns out that she’s just been lying to Ruth about it the whole time.)

      Danny, on the other hand, was ignorant of important and relevant facts, knew that he was ignorant, was fucking things up and hurting someone he purported to care about because he was ignorant, and, far from trying to rectify his ignorance, which he had the raw information to do if he was willing to put it together, he was acting all holier-than-thou about making the wrong decisions because of his willful ignorance. And he would still be ignorant if Amazi-Girl’s mask hadn’t literally fallen off right in front of him. About the only thing you can say for the dude is now that he’s had his face rubbed in the consequences of his actions, he’s realized that he fucked up.

    4. Rutee

      Yer kiddin’, right? Danny’s boring, Billie’s not. I suspect all antipathy ultimately goes back to this. Regardless, I don’t really care about whether they ‘meant well’ (both did, fyi), and what information did Billie have that makes her immune to her addiction? Meh. I’mma enjoy what’s happening, but that’s because I love watching drama in fictional relationships, not because I’m some horrible person – same reason I enjoyed it for Danny.

  194. neol

    FYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    U
    CK

    1. nothri

      Okay, no. The word you are going for is “fuck”. Adding more letters to it is illegal and will not improve your Scrabble score.

      1. Anonymous

        It won’t get him/her to Mornington Crescent.

  195. Toes14

    Billie: ” Hello – Mouthwash!”
    Ruth: “Oh Yeah, that would explain the minty freshness”
    (Makeouts continue)

  196. Hors Service

    All hail The God-Author! Praise the ineffable Ways of the Willis!

    Only Noah’s Narrative Arc can survive Ship Sinking, fools!

    Repent, and thou shall be given Gay Lesbian Make Outs! Persist, and your hopes will fall into Development Hell!

    I enjoy that the alt-text is like a meta-comic all by itself. This is what the internet was made for. (Oh, and porn, also.)

  197. OmegaDez

    !!!!!!!!!!
    Curse you, Willis!!!

  198. Myrcella's Ear

    Now I know how Darth Vader felt when he found out Padmé was dead…

  199. Minder

    Ack.

    I don’t even ship it and this hurts.

  200. Alexx

    “You taste like alcohol.”

    Next Panel: “I LOVE IT.”

    *makeouts continue*

    1. 3oranges

      “You taste like vodka.”
      “You taste like orange juice!”
      *Screwball*

  201. caesaria82

    I knew this was coming, but it’s still tough to see it play out. OTP in peril. Sigh.

  202. anifreik

    Only one possible remark…

    DAMN YOU, Willis!!!!!! 😐

  203. Nena

    Not surprised.

  204. MCPhatman

    Why not make this into a porno…

  205. SonicBlueRanger

    I legit wonder if Willis ever get’s tired of fucking with peoples emotions? Well I guess if he did he’d be out of a job.

  206. Shariku Onikage

    Gah! I hate it when i miss a day and have to backtrack. Seeing the reaction before the actual action kinda ruins things.

  207. Jenny Creed

    Let’s be real for a moment here. I’m counting roughly 300 commenters who seem legitimately upset about this development; why?

    Would you prefer if Billie continued to lie to Ruth and failed to fight her addiction just so they could play at love?

    Did you think nothing would come of it? That Billie would suddenly stop being alcoholic and get all better without Ruth ever finding out?

    Within the realm of plausibility, this is the best thing that could have happened. Win or lose, Billie and Ruth’s relationship just got real. Maybe Ruth is going to jump off the wagon and they spend the rest of their lives resenting each other and drunkenly wallowing in the bitter ashes of what could have been or maybe Ruth is going to break Billie’s femurs and then help her and over time their relationship is strengthened with mutual respect and trust and they have hundreds of fat children and live happily ever after but at least they’re not going to compromise.

    It’s like Tom Waits said, “You must risk something that matters.”

    I think it’s beautiful, and meaningful.

    1. Kevin

      Broken people need love too!

    2. nothri

      +1

  208. Dranorter

    Betray’d!

  209. Roborat

    You fixed the last button, thank you Sir Willis, wasn’t expecting such a fast repair.

  210. Bill

    Just as Billie was there for Ruth earlier in this strip when Ruth drank herself into a stupor, now perhaps it is Ruth’s turn to be there to blow away Billie’s smokescreen about her drinking.  By holding a mirror up to each other it will give them the opportunity for them see another viewpoint of their difficulties with alcohol, and through mutual assistance perhaps they will both end up confronting and defeating their problems.

    1. Kevin

      Sorry for being totally off topic, but I never looked at your avatar until just now and always thought it was Fry from Futurama riding a bicycle. Man was I way off.

      1. Kevin

        *never looked closely at your avatar

        I am spoiled by “Edit” buttons

      2. Bill

        Nope, I am also a fan of Jimmy Buffett, whose followers are commonly referred to as “Parrotheads”.  So, a parrot with a straw hat on a bicycle.

  211. Cragalanch

    http://www.noooooo.info/ Cragalanch doesn’t care if he did a preemptive “Damn you Willis!” Yesterday. DAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOU WIIIIIILLIIIIIIIS!

    1. Cragalanch

      Also, CRAGALANCH TOTALLY CALLED IT!

  212. Asurasur

    DUM DUM DUM! http://www.dramabutton.com/

  213. Aaron Bourque

    Naturally.

  214. alicemacher

    Okay, Billie, let’s run through some possible responses and rate each of them:

    1 ) “No, YOU do.” BUZZ! Wrong

    2 ) “Gimme a break. How was I to know we were gonna end up frenching tonight? If I’d known, I would’ve brushed my teeth first.” BUZZ! Wrong

    3 ) “I spit on your cheerleader gift! PTUI!” BUZZ! Wrong

    4 ) “I know. I fucked up. I let myself down, and I let you down. There’s no excuse for it. You have every right to be pissed off at me. I’m pissed off at myself too. I’d understand if you wanted nothing to do with me again. Or at the very least not to kiss me any more. But I still want to kick this thing, and I know you do too, so can we start again? As friends?” DINGDINGDING! We have a winner!

    (Yes, I know, even saying the right thing wouldn’t automatically, magically make it all okay from Ruth’s perspective. But owning up, without minimizing or excusing it, is still the right thing to do here.)

    1. Kamino Neko

      5) ‘Of course I do, I’m so pickled from years of binge drinking, it’ll be months before I don’t taste like a martini.’

      1. arank11

        DING! Winner!

  215. Kevin

    So Willis is talking about drawing a new porn on Twitter… So maybe Billie and Ruth are gonna bone like a dinosaur exhibit after all? Hopefully it’s canon…

    1. BlackIo

      Nah, this one involves Robin and Leslie from Shortpacked. You can see the title page on Tumblr.

      1. Kevin

        Dammit. I mean, fuck yes lesbians, but also dammit.

  216. TBeckett

    “Yeah, well . . . so do you!”

  217. Charles RB

    That was unexpected, but in retrospect should have been very expected

  218. Frilly

    I don’t remember seeing Billy drink at all recently in the comic though, I even went through her tag but the most recent thing I’ve seen was the coke from her conversation with Walky. Was it off screen?

  219. Jack Finch

    Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
    All the chronic rightness was just a dream.

    Unless they decide to handle it together.
    Would Willis let them do that?

    (yeah, sure)

  220. Sambo

    SO many people called this.

  221. FuryOfFirestorm

    “It’s just Listerine. Now let’s get to the sexin’!”

  222. Jack Finch

    And another thing….shouldn’t it be SmoochaDRAMA?

  223. Rufus Saltus

    DAMN YOU FORESHADOWING!
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/younger/

  224. Tenn

    In spite of the interruption of lesbian licky-style makeouts, I approve of this drama!

    You should have told her yourself, Billie.

  225. Sam

    Ohh no. 🙁

  226. Tealjoy

    And there it is

  227. maycroft

    it’s 70% of her body still.

  228. Rutee

    Yesssss, drama.

    Yes, I’m shipping these two and want them to have to suffer a little before they get their happy ending. That’s not THAT weird, is it? I <3 Drama XD

    1. Rutee

      …In fiction. I successfully avoid it in real life XD

      1. Kim

        In soviet fiction, real life succesfully avoids you!

  229. Makkabee

    Billie performs an angst.

  230. Heavensrun

    (fixes popcorn)

  231. Laforet

    I always thought I was stronger then this, but this page was too much… DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!!!!!!!!

    (optional: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!)

  232. Ashley

    Willis, if you cut from this to something else entirely I will be able to do nothing but fret until you get back to these two but please, please, please don’t do it.

  233. The_Bladesman

    Sigh ok people lets pack up the party hats and go home.

  234. Keulan

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!!!

  235. a4lbi

    Damn you, Willis! (x)

  236. DFS

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7uzvyxFFg1r98tmw.gif

  237. Matermatter

    Woooooooooooooooooooow

    saw this coming day one.

  238. bodmans

    yaay?

  239. arank11

    Licky-style!

  240. XMinusOne

    “Lips that have touched alcohol must never touch mine,” quoth the Anti-Saloon League in the 1900’s. That would seem to apply in this instance; albeit a touch hypocritical on Ruth’s part … still.

  241. NotFred

    Hi! New reader over here.

    I am not fluent in English so I could sound a bit weird (if a lot, is my brain) Also my apologies for the bestgramialities.

    Amazing comic. I just spend like 25 hs along two days working the archive.

    IMO great art and colours, wonderful palette, lovely characters and hooking plots. Dialogues and characters are believable and personalities are well designed.

    Beside that I felt touched by the stories, specialy with some character’s burdens.

    Also lots of fun and insight in the comments 🙂

    I want to congratulate the artist for such great comic, thank you for share it, I straight added it to my very short list of web comics I am reading.

    In short: new fan over here 🙂

    I will be reading but for a while quietly. Or maybe not 🙂

  242. Timni

    DAMMIT!!!

  243. Eyesyte

    DAMN YOU WILLISS!!!

    Also, I love this comic. Started this week from the beginning. It’s my favorite now, by far.

  244. mg girl

    Uh-oh, here comes the DRAMAAAAAAAA!
    *Grabs popcorn* Ooooh, this gonna be goooood!

  245. Rivelin

    Argh. I was so happy, now I am so bummed.

    Partially because same-gender relationships are so under-represented in any media I consume but also because I love these two characters I was so hoping this’d turn out well. Not that I’ll suggesting every portrayal should pretend everything always works out well, that’d be bad, just… feeeeeeeeeeeeeeels.

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