241

Solving
Posted on July 12, 2023 by David M Willis

241 thoughts on “Solving”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    actually, yeah, this’ll be fun if Linda knows Amber’s the stabber

    (and still enrolled)

    (and “fun”)

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Inb4 Linda thanks Amber for stabbing Sal’s hand, and changing her life.

      1. Thag Simmons

        literally the worst thing she could possibly say

        …

        so decent shot she actually does it

        1. Bryy

          Ugh, this actually brings up so many disturbing concepts such as does Linda have an abuse fantasy for her daughter.

    2. Alongcameaspider

      Oh I actually completely forgot Linda wanted Amber out of school

      This’ll be even more of a train wreck then I thought

      Either she’ll flip her lid or she’ll quietly seeth and accept it if it means her son isn’t dating a black girl

    3. Angel

      privacy laws aside i imagine there’d be some public images, unless amber/amazigirl is really good at scrubbing any images of herself online

      1. Yeet

        it seems like she probably is, given her 1337 H/\xx0r sk1lz
        and she also doesn’t get into photos much from social things.

    4. Mikey

      Remind me, is Danny aware of the stabbing? I want to say Walky is, but there’s been so much that’s happened, I’m not sure if he is (and my memory’s not the greatest as is). If he isn’t, that’s another firecracker ready to go, since we already have seen Danny’s pretty irked by Walky having dated both of his exes before. Him bringing Amber around again out of nowhere could cause him to just lose it.

      1. Kazuma Taichi

        Walky literally acknowledged being aware of the stabbing just now XD

        1. Mikey

          Yeah, I was exhausted when I made the post and didn’t notice that. Oops. XD

    5. Nicoleandmaggie

      Please don’t remind Linda she wants Amber kicked out.

      1. Meagan

        Seriously, that’s the part of this that is dangerous. Otherwise it’s a delightfully anti-PC shenanigan.

  2. Kyoulkoa

    Walky no

  3. Doctor_Who

    Amber is a method actor. She’s been living this role for the past 18 years.

  4. Kyrik Michalowski

    Is there any possibility that this goes well, and works like they hope?

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Hahahahahaha no.

    2. Maveric1984

      Hi there! You must be new around here. The answer to that question is always “No. Never.”

    3. Thag Simmons

      uh, it may fail successfully

    4. Bruno

      I think it’ll be fine. That’s why the comic’s called Smarting of Age.

      1. Clif

        Yeah, I’m trying to decide if this is the story of how Amber and Walky get back together or the story of how Amber and Danny get back together.

        1. TerribleTransit

          Or maybe it’s the story of how Danny and Walky get together. Or all three.

        2. elebenty

          Danny and Walky and Asher and Ethan

      2. RoyanRannedos

        Someone will be smarting by the end of it.

    5. AbacusWizard

      The only way a wacky plan like this could actually work is if Walky looks real sly and says “Wait a minute… I have… a plan!” and then it time-skips directly to the characters actually carrying out the plan while Walky explains his plan in voiceover narration boxes as it happens.

      1. Random832

        Yeah that’s a basic narrative rule – you can’t explain the plan *and* show the plan actually happening with no issues, because if there are no issues you just showed the same thing twice.

    6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Sorry, the working plans are all in “Smartening Of Age”, in the universe next door.

    7. Angel

      lol i don’t know ifi t’d have the desired effect but if she’s comfortable with it i can totally imagine it being like lucy sitting in amber’s lap the whole time or some ver of that

    8. Ray Radlein

      Only if the aliens attack during the dinner

  5. NGPZ

    She gonna use that autistic resonance to short-circuit a racist’s brain, and I’m all here for it. ???

    1. Clif

      Well, in that case the parents will be gone before the plan is implemented.

    2. MoreWLessG

      …But it makes no sense at all. The parents have already met Lucy. They know Walky isn’t dating Amber. This is also wildly underestimating how crappy the parents are – they’re probably gonna thank Amber for stabbing Sal or something. Never try to wrestle a pig and think you’re gonna win.

  6. Thag Simmons

    With this set-up there’s no way this will actually work

    1. Clif

      What could go wrong?

  7. Yotomoe

    Yeah I dunno this rubs me the wrong way. It’s kinda rude. And I still want Amber and Walky to stick their tongues in each other’s mouths.

    1. Maveric1984

      Threesome?

      1. Yotomoe

        God Willing.

        1. Cmasta1992

          You have the 2nd most power to make this happen

        2. Kyrik Michalowski

          It will be the non-canon threesome we have all been waiting for. If anyone can make that a reality, Yotomoe can.

        3. Yotomoe

          :3

    2. cbwroses

      Same.
      And yes, a threesome would also be welcome @Maveric1984.

    3. Vanessa

      I agree. This is a new low for the new “mean girl” hot Walky and his sycophantic girlfriend.

    4. Dday

      yeah I really hate this, like if Rosa Parks had an elaborate plan to fill the front of the bus with really unpleasant white people

      1. Taffy

        So, the normal sort of passenger at the time? Not a very elaborate plan.

        1. Clif

          So you’re saying it worked?

        2. Taffy

          I really wanna make a witty remark that’s not just “people in the past were racister har har”, but I have to admit to a lot of ignorance about Rosa Parks in specific. I’ve seen the abridged version of the bus protest in a couple of cartoons and that episode of Doctor Who, maybe done a highly-sanitised pamphlet in grade school, and that’s kind of it. I probably shouldn’t crack wise about very important historical events.

        3. Clif

          It wasn’t complicated. She had a hard day at work and when push came to shove decided she wasn’t going to put up with the stupid any more. It happened at the right time to make a difference.

        4. Taffy

          See, that’s what the pamphlet said too, but lately I’ve seen comments about it being a deliberate staged protest, not a spontaneous one, and her being a very outspoken activist instead of some random lady who just wanted to sit that day.

        5. Yumi

          What I’ve learned/been taught was that it wasn’t a deliberate/staged protest– like, she didn’t plan out beforehand what would happen. She had no idea she would be told to move that day, and she wasn’t going around trying to create the opportunity. However, she was already involved in activism with the NAACP. I think she had attended some of their trainings on resistance and responding to the racism of the time in ways that held firm but tried to keep to levels with lower risk of being physically attacked.

          Other people prior to Rosa Parks had refused to move as well at times. Because of Parks’ response, involvement in the NAACP, and general persona, though, the NAACP felt she was a good person to exemplify in their protest.

          She was a cool woman. History kind of boils her down to this one moment and the following bus boycott, but she had a life before and after of working to advance civil rights as well.

        6. not someone else

          It wasn’t so much “staged” as it was that something bad had happened to another lady/girl in the same way and so activists were deliberately provoking people so they could protest and possibly get the rule overturned, iirc.

        7. Freemage

          not someone else has the right of it. However, it’s worth noting that the girl who was originally the one to refuse to give up her seat was 16 years old and pregnant; the ‘movement’ leaders felt that she wouldn’t be a sufficiently sympathetic figure, and since humans are bad at fighting for TWO righteous causes at once, they opted to let sexism have the day in order to battle racism.

          I’m not saying they were wrong to do so; they probably were quite correct that the protests would’ve been vastly less successful if they’d tried to use the original case as their rallying cry. We can lament necessary compromises even as we accept them.

          And of course, none of this should take away from Parks’ strength, courage and heroism.

      2. Hof1991

        Rosa Parks lived an eventful life. Full of activism that risked her life. Recommended reading. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13642999

    5. Proxiehunter

      It’s a fake dating plot. They’ve got something like a 90% chance of sticking their tongues into each others mouths before the plotline is over.

      1. Taffy

        Lucy, speaking to Walky from a few tables over via Bluetooth earpiece: “Okay, I think they’re starting to buy it, but your mom seems a little on the fence. Try grabbing her boob, but don’t be too blatant about it.”

        1. Clif

          Everyone is confused when Walky grabs his mom’s.

        2. Taffy

          “Sorry, I uh… Got on the HRT recently and I’m trying to figure out what I can expect?”

        3. Clif

          HRT?

        4. Taffy

          Breast mints.

        5. Freemage

          Hormone Replacement Therapy. Essentially, Walky’d be claiming to be trans.

          Thing is, Linda’d probably roll with that. After all, then Walky really could be the daughter she always wanted….

  8. Jamie

    Remember when Linda was working on getting Amber kicked out of school?

    1. AbacusWizard

      Dumbingofage Farm remembers.

      1. Kimi

        Dumbingoffarm?

        1. JBento

          Farming of Age

      2. Nicoleandmaggie

        ROFL

        1. Nicoleandmaggie

          That’s for the Pepperidge farm joke, not Amber getting kicked out.

    2. Needfuldoer

      I wonder if they’ll even recognize her.

  9. Adam Black

    time keeps on slippin

    1. cbwroses

      Into the future ?

  10. Dr. T

    This will be a disaster. Ignoring the issues involving Amber right now, is Walky really going to present himself to his folks as a two-timer?

    1. Angel

      i imagine it’d be either “i’m still good friends with my ex so i invited her too” or “i had a fight with lucy and taking a short break” while lucy is a few tables down just spying lol

  11. Diane

    I really hope Amber says no. Linda already knows about Lucy being a girlfriend, what are they gonna say? “Oh, I figured you didn’t like that girlfriend, so I dumped her and got this one instead, much better right?!”

    1. UrsulaDavina

      I think that is the plan and it is really dumb plan.

      1. Freemage

        More than just really dumb, it’ll actively be poking at Amber’s fragile psyche. It’s potentially an actively harmful idea. I am not shocked at Walky, but this is a major step down for Lucy, in my eyes.

    2. Proxiehunter

      Like I said yesterday “Me and Lucy had a huge fight and I got back together with my ex.”

  12. audkitten

    No Wally, no. This is cruel and you know it.

    1. DailyBrad

      I do kind of wonder what’ll be in it for Amber. Like, I doubt she likes the Walkertons, due to how they’ve treated Sal, but I sort of wonder what, if anything, Walky and Lucy can do for her in return.

      1. TulipKitten

        Honestly, the only way I could see Walky making it up to her is by making out with Asher. He’d definitely owe her one, and that’s pretty good quid pro quo, wouldn’t you say?

        1. Nono

          If Walky is bi, doesn’t that mean all three of Amber’s love interests have had an inclination for men?

          Man, girl is cursed/blessed.

    2. Taffy

      Yeah, it’s cruel to Sal in particular. Lucy signed up for this, Amber isn’t so much as frowning (the worst thing a woman can do in this comic), but Sal is trying her best to make an honest effort at pleasing her unpleasable mother. She doesn’t need to be dragged into this dopey scheme.

      Maybe I’m forgetting something, on second thought. Were Walky and Lucy going to lunch and dinner, or just dinner? If they’re going to separate meals, then I’ll rescind. Though I do think Sal would get some kind of blowback even in that situation.

      On third thought, maybe if Walky flamingoes up badly enough, it’ll make Sal look better by comparison. Sure sure, golden child, unfair both ways, whatever, I don’t really care about the moral implications, just the possibilities.

      1. Angel

        maybe it’ll be like “ok amber well sabotage the lunch meeting” and then be like “Ok well i’ll meet up with lucy and ‘make up’ with her and invite her to dinner instead”

      2. Needfuldoer

        Does Walky even know what Sal is trying to do?

        1. Leorale

          Nope — last Walky heard, Sal had other plans and wasn’t invited anyway.

        2. Taffy

          That was part of my lunch/dinner question, yeah. A lot of my comment was riding on him knowing.

        3. justin8448

          Yeah, Walky has no way of anticipating that he might be messing things up for his sister.

          He feels pretty safe in assuming that he will be the only one to experience repercussions from this plan.

    3. Angel

      amber seems pretty apathetic about it but she could easily just ignore/take off if she planned to, though still be good to consult sal first

      1. Ray Radlein

        Heh. Wander off halfway through the dinner with no explanation, staring at her phone the whole time.

        1. Taffy

          A few hours later, she texts Walky “Sorry, there was a geoduck a few blocks over”

        2. Angel

          well amber has more physical strength than average because of her amazigirl thing, other than amazing vision or some kinda side app warning her on her phone, i’m surprised ppl who do that wouldn’t trip lol

  13. Animedingo

    But they already met lucy?

    1. Taffy

      Yeah, and they basically ignored her.

      1. Bryy

        Literally would not be out of their wheelhouse to accept Walky broke up with her within the past hour.

        Also I am super ashamed of Walky and Lucy for going with Amber being a fake GF and not just there for comparison.

        1. Da Boy

          That or they actively erased Lucy’s existence from their minds.

        2. Taffy

          I did get this mental image of Linda seeing Amber and immediately substituting her into her memories of meeting Lucy. Like “Hm, did I see a Black girl or was it someone else? Ah yes, it was that O’Malley tramp.”

        3. Needfuldoer

          No, first Linda gets to liking Amber, but only after she lets her guard down does she put together that she’s that Amber.

          The ensuing drama hurricane will need its own category on the Saffir-Simpson Scale.

        4. Taffy

          Now I want Linda to realise who Amber is, look at Sal, say something like “What, are you two cool now?” and then everyone just has a normal meal. Just an innocent meal.

        5. Needfuldoer

          Always fear the suddenly-quiet ones.

        6. Freemage

          Hell, i reject the idea that doing it ‘just for comparison’ isn’t cruel. It absolutely is, and while Amber no doubt would say she’s a perfect candidate because she’s a garbage person, weaponizing someone else’s psych issues is just… ugh. Frankly, this is Mike-level assholery, with less justification than he usually had.

  14. Yumi

    Wow, he really said, “Just be yourself!” like I imagined him saying yesterday…

    1. Vanessa

      Pretty rude, huh? “Just be the terrible disaster of a human we both know you are.”

    2. Bemisawa

      Yeah, seriously a great call. …On your part. Less so on Walky’s.

    3. Aura

      He sure did! 😀

    4. Angel

      They’re both self proclaimed garbage ppl so i don’t think amber would actually be offended lol

      1. Kimi

        There is both calling each other garbage on garbage roof, and then there is let me show you to my parents because they will forget their racist inclinations against my current girlfriend just by spending time with you. Also the trauma involved with the hand stabbing situation. If this was just something along the lines of pet peeves that she triggers, it would be different, but they are making use of one of her past traumas to make his new girlfriend look good in the eyes of his parents. That just seems beneath garbage to me.

        1. Miri

          Also “oh yeah, this person tangentially in your social circle – when you surface from your room and acknowledge it anyways – totally knows about one of the most traumatic shame/rage incidents of your teen years” – like, OK, it’s also part of Sal’s story but Sal sure as heck didn’t share it with Lucy…

        2. Freemage

          New theory: Mike’s ghost really IS haunting the strip. Amber was first, but now he’s being more subtle and goading Lucy and Walky on.

    5. BBCC

      Because Linda is going to HATE Amber. That’s not a slam on Amber.

  15. temporalshrew

    At this rate, Amber won’t look up from her phone long enough to even give a response, and all will be well!

  16. Dave Van Domelen

    I smell shenanigans AND hijinks.

    1. cbwroses

      Would those be called shenanijinks or hinigans?

      1. System of Eleven

        Hijiniganx

      2. AbacusWizard

        Sheninkajinks.

      3. Ray Radlein

        these are all horrible shipnames

        1. Clif

          Most shipping names are.

        2. Taffy

          Especially the ones that are a random phrase vaguely related to the ship. Yeah, it’s really gonna be obvious you’re talking about your Sophie X Turnip-Head space opera when you keep typing the phrase “Walking Stick”

        3. System of Eleven

          Okay but that is the greatest thing of all time today. Double pun for the win!

        4. Taffy

          I didn’t even realise there was a single pun, let alone a double. ? I was thinking of when Turnip-Head gave Sophie a literal walking stick for the road.

    2. Axel

      Hijinaniganx

  17. Axel

    they probably think the stabbing was a blessing in disguise, because Sal didn’t respond to normal discipline.

    1. Bryy

      If it goes that route, and Walky DOESN’T respond to that….

      1. Axel

        They’d probably be more interested in trying to sue her family or something if he said ‘This is my new girlfriend; she’s the one who stabbed Sal,’ (especially, if they recognized her and can see that her tuition was paid). But on the other hand if it was introduced like “hey you know how someone stabbed Sal’s hand?” they might be like ‘oh, is your shiny new white girlfriend going to be a hand surgeon? Sal never has trouble with hers, so really it was a blessing in disguise’ or something

  18. UrsulaDavina

    Jesus Lucy and Walky at least offer Amber a Taco Bell gift card or something.

    1. Ray Radlein

      You could argue that the chance to make Linda’s head explode, after what Linda tried to do to her, might be payment enough

  19. cbwroses

    I do not like the idea of using Amber like this, especially since it’s basically putting her down.
    But I do like the idea of Linda’s head exploding.
    And any opportunity for the SS Garbage Skowl to sail, no matter how unlikely, I’m down for.

    Side note: how messed up would it be for this to rekindle the relationship between Amber and Walky the day after Walky turns down Dorothy?
    Hell, it’s messed up if Dorothy sees them and just thinks that’s the case, as her self esteem might hit an all time low.

    And then there could be a huge outburst in front of the parents as Walky has to deal with the feelings of his ex girlfriend, his fake girlfriend, and his current girlfriend all at the same time!

    But I’m getting ahead of myself (and I doubt the expected hijinks will reach such a height).

    1. Vanessa

      Ooo Walky would hate dealing with feelings!

      1. StClair

        we already know he does.

    2. Aura

      Oh my gosh I hadn’t thought of that angle, it’s awful and I love it!

    3. Aslan

      Don’t forget his sister, who I’m sure will be THRILLED to find out about this little plan /s

  20. Bittersweet

    Wow that’s like actually messed up. Willing to go along with it or not, this is probably the first thing Walky’s ever done that’s tipped the scale towards me kinda disliking him as a person. And the fact that Lucy goes along with it is really gross too and I hope someone calls her out on it. I’d have that same hope for Walky, but of the two people in this couple I have more faith in Lucy realizing that this is actually messed up than Walky choosing to *not* double down.

    ”Just be yourself! That’s great!” Just… wow. Lots of old insecurities being dredged back up. I really hope Amber tells Walky’s parents that he would’ve failed math if she didn’t cheat his grades back up.

    1. Temp Commenter

      I dislike Walky here as well but it kind of bugs me you’re not giving Lucy equal responsibility here. It was her idea.

      1. Miri

        But Walky is Amber’s ex. They had feels for each other. He knows her vulnerabilities… Or he should have some idea how deep her self-loathing goes anyway.

  21. Hazel

    I don’t think the switch would present a problem (how unusual is it for college kids to date for a couple of weeks and then get bored and move on?). I just think Walky is underestimating the line between Amber being awkward and unsociable and Amber being seriously upset. For all his flippancy, I doubt he wants to see her hurt.

    1. Vanessa

      Speaking of flipping, perhaps we’ll get another table-flipping scene when Walky’s parents drive Amber mad with bigoted ranting.

  22. UrsulaDavina

    Just remembered Danny is coming as well and use to date Amber so another layer of bad I mean Walky could just confront his parents the results would be the same and you don’t have drag Amber I to this.

    1. Gigafreak

      Confronting his parents wouldn’t be anywhere near as entertaining (or plausible for a conflict-averse kid like Walky to try)

    2. Segnosaur

      And to add even more fuel to the fire, you also have the omnipresent petty resentment that Danny feels towards walky, which could also blow up in everyone’s face if the 2 are at dinner together.

  23. Reltzik

    If the goal of the plan is to be disaster, is the fact that the plan’s a disaster waiting to happen actually a mark against it?

    1. Clif

      No.

  24. Warcodered

    The whole twins thing really comes across with both coming up with terrible plans.

    1. Miri

      Sal introduced her parents to her actual current boyfriend who cares about her, and who she cares about, and who she is happy with. That she’s not comfortable because they are using “she’s with somebody we approve of” to validate the way they raised her doesn’t mean that “showing parents that actually she can make good decisions and have people in her life who like her and who they’d like too” is a bad plan in and of itself!

  25. Steelbright

    Oof. Worry about Amber rolling back in full steam here.

  26. thakoru

    Okay, hold on, SETTING ASIDE the question of how they’re going to gaslight Linda and Charles into forgetting that they already met Lucy, what’s step 2 of this plan? Is Lucy going to just be hiding in the bushes, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal that she was Walky’s real girlfriend the whole time? At which point, they’re expecting… what reaction, exactly, from the parents? There are now three people involved in this plan and not one of them seems to have thought it through.

    1. Vanessa

      We need Amazi-Girl to assert super heroic leadership skills here, and save Amber from this mean-spirited sabotage.

    2. Angel

      Could easily be “this is my gf, and this is my sidepiece” Or “I’m in a polyamourous relationship”

      He did jokingly call imself “polycramorous” before stuffing his face lol

      1. Segnosaur

        He could simply say “Lucy could not make it but here is my ex-girlfriend Amber whom I remain on good terms with. See what a bullet you dodged now I am not with her?

  27. Bruno

    This is mean. Somebody needs to cut Walky’s hair now.

    1. Vanessa

      Haha, very nice. Time for “mean girl” hot Walky to vanish in a puff of Cheeto dust.

    2. Aura

      So he’s like the Samson of social ability?

    3. Taffy

      There’s no need to cut it. I’ve seen enough anime to know that if he bleaches it and/or dyes it blonde, his mom will faint and say something about “Oh no, my son is turning into a delinquent!”.

  28. Steamweed

    “Hell, no, you two. Been there; done that. Unlike the rest of you, I learn things here at college.”

  29. Lux

    Oh no, this is going to go so poorly for Danny and Sal 🙁

  30. NGPZ

    Sorry if off topic, but given what’s happening with Twitter, can you please give some assurance (and maybe assuring statistics too) to this gay autista? ?

    (i swear im just about done with the place)

    1. Taffy

      The only Twitter activity I’ve had since April has been occasionally posting pictures of my Final Fantasy OC on a neglected gimmick account, and it’s been fabulous. Really no reason to keep the stupid bird app anymore, aside from the lack of widespread acceptance of any alternatives. If you’re about done with the place, I say torch the room on your way out. Break ToS, burn bridges, spam somebody’s feed with pictures of Shrek goatse-ing at the bottom of the ocean, whatever happens happens.

    2. Ray Radlein

      It’s a horrific, sinking, burning garbage scow right now; and if Elon follows through with his threat to make TweetDeck pay-only, it will be even more unusable than before; but for now, BlueSky doesn’t yet have the infrastructure (e.g., a full-feature list-based client like TweetDeck) to really take its place.

      I’m mainly hanging on like grim death for now because I’ve been there forever and tweeted, like 850000 times or so, and I will not let the world’s stupidest unimploded billionaire push me away that easily.

      1. NGPZ

        I mean white supremacy and “heterophobia” are trending. I am just about fucking done with the place. The left isn’t strong because Twitter was strong, but the other way around.

        The only way i really see myself using the site is just reposting from Tumblr for game stuff, because at this rate it’s a right wing hell scape and the social media equivalent of a tire fire.

        1. NGPZ

          Re: the other way around, someone please assure me of that, im worried as hell ?

        2. Bryy

          *picks NGPZ up, points menacingly at Twitter*

        3. Taffy

          Other way around? What, like the left making Twitter stronger? I could see that, to some degree. What with the steady outflow of decent people and the intake of right-wing nutjobs, the place does seem to have gotten increasingly unstable.

          I figure it’s got maybe a year left until it’s just outright stated on the front page “This site is for [weird term supremacists use for themselves] only”

        4. Clif

          Reassuring statistic? Historically, somewhere around 96٪ of all people who rage-quit Twitter wind up coming back because that’s where their social network is. Is that reassuring?

  31. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Of course, the Laws of Comedy say that Walky’s parents will love Amber, and for the rest of his life be nagging him to get her back.

  32. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Walky: “Well, that worked out perfectly. Thanks Amber.”

    Amber (looking up momentarily): “Uh, which ones were your parents again?”

  33. BBCC

    Well, I gotta say – if they want the worst white woman to bring home to Linda, Amber has to be up there.

    1. Some1

      Personally I would have gone with Mary but Linda might like that. Speaking of which, is Mary racist? I honestly can’t remember.

      Mary: I can excuse transphobia but I draw the line at racism.

      Carla: you can excuse transphobia?!

      1. Heavensrun

        Mary is definitely one of those dickheads that thinks “cis” is a slur.

        1. Taffy

          They don’t really think that, they just “think” if they’re called anything but “normal” it’s a personal attack. I put quotes on “think” because that’s the closest approximation in the English language for whatever it is they’re doing.

      2. BBCC

        Amber has the personal touch of having already stabbed Sal, Linda wanting her expelled for something not her fault, and not being very social. Plus a chance she might actually agree to do it.

    2. Angel

      and plus i don’t think they’d even believe it with how hyper religious mary is, i dont’ think walky constantly goes off on being atheist/vocal about how ‘god’s not real’ at every opportunity but i assume his parents wouldn’t expect him to go to church on his own rwillingly too lol

      1. thejeff

        He’d have to play that she’d converted him and he was now a rabid fundamentalist. Which would be fun to watch him pretend.

        That said, I don’t think he’s that vocal about it. He certainly doesn’t believe and he teased Joyce about her weirder fundie ideas – like the rapture, but he doesn’t really bring it up that much otherwise, I think.

  34. AGV

    I mean, they said no filter

    1. Miri

      “What have you been writing recently?”
      “Well, it turns out my hot gay best friend who’s deeply grieving the loss of our third-in-group – the one who my dad murdered, remember trying to get me expelled around that? Recently walked off with a really cute possibly ex-mafia acquaintance – you OK Sal?- making googoo eyes at him, and I was writing some slightly creepy gay porn fanfic in which they [insert explicit details of sexual activities] and then Ethan feels much happier and we get back to talking normally sometimes, without all the anger… Wish fulfilment fetish stuff really! But the walking off together bit happened so you never know…”

  35. Taffy

    I sincerely have no idea what anyone is worried about, here. This feels like a completely normal cartoon hijink, and if I started complaining about those occurring in a webcomic about dumbass teenagers I’d be completely insufferable. Amber isn’t acting insulted, Lucy came up with the idea so of course she’s on board, and Walky treats life as a TV show anyway. Linda’s feelings don’t matter, Charles might say something generically amiable, sounds like we’re just on the normal, routine road to interpersonal interactions. I guess Danny doesn’t like Walky for no good reason (oh well) and Sal has a complicated relationship with Amber, so I’m more interested in that little bit of friction than how well the “fake girlfriend” thing works out.

    Come to think of it, last time Walky and Amber tried to pull some peabrained bullshit around Sal, she basically told them to fuck off and get their fuck on instead of playing along. I don’t really expect her to tolerate any of this decoy dating nonsense, but she’s also in her “Parents are here, try to please them” mode at least a little bit, so maybe she’ll go along with it for a few minutes. Danny I can’t see giving half a rat’s ass, so he might be a bit of a wildcard.

    And as for Lucy, I can only picture her watching from across the street, behind a newspaper, with holes cut out for her to see through. The only objection I think she’d have is if Walky and Amber started getting on a little too well, then she might bust in and blow the whole operation in a fit of self-esteem.

    As usual though, I expect to be at least 95% wrong about all of this, because I’m actually terrible at predicting the course of fictional events. Well, except for those extra-tropey movies I occasionally find myself quoting in real time like I’ve seen them before.

    1. OBBWG

      Danny doesn’t like Walky because Walky dated his two last girlfriends right after they broke up with Danny. Probably not actual hatred, but dislike and discomfort on Danny’s part. (Danny is taking some solace knowing Walky is extremely unlikely to date his current girlfriend if they break up.)

      Walky does not seem to have remembered that Danny will be at dinner. The Danny/Walky/Amber situation could get awkward in a not fun way.

      1. Taffy

        Not fun for them, but tons of fun for me personally. I really hope it goes south in some super fucked up way.

      2. Angel

        walky and danny having a fight might be entertaining for the audience tho idk how well it’d reflect back on both of them since they apparently see walky as the golden child and such tho hopefully danny will be understanding and also standing up for lucy even if they don’t know each other well

      3. Clif

        Walky doesn’t know that Danny is there for dinner. He doesn’t even know that Sal is.

      4. Aslan

        I hadn’t even considered the Danny angle. This is going to be all sorts of terrible in literally every way. Delicious.

      5. thejeff

        Which is essentially no good reason. Someone dating your ex after you isn’t a good reason to dislike them. It’s a bit weird for it to happen twice, but it’s still not a good reason.

        1. Segnosaur

          It’s not a good reason to dislike someone dating your ex if everyone approached dating with a rational, unemotional mindset. But people are messy and sometimes act in an irrational way.

          It should also be noted that at no point has walky done anything to actually try to smooth over the situation. Ok, walky didn’t cause either of Danny’s breakups so had nothing to appolgize for, but a little empathy might have helped. “I know you were broken up with Dorothy before we dated, but I know it must be hard for you”. Instead Danny got snark.

          It should also be noted that the very first real interaction between walky and Danny, walky was there to borrow his shoes, and let Mike lie about Dorothy. (Not a great start if you ask me). “I am here to ask a favor, meanwhile my roommate will lie to you and I will not try to correct him”

    2. thejeff

      It’s sort of buried beneath all the other bullshit involved in this situation, but the contrast between Sal using her real boyfriend to seek their approval and Walky using a fake one to try to blow up their subtle racism into something obvious is the key here I think.

      They’re going to blame it on Sal somehow. And maybe think Danny’s fake too?

      1. Taffy

        Somehow, I think Danny losing his patience with Walky might actually make them like him more. “Wow, he’s a Good Boy™ but he can also take charge if he needs to? Our girl’s in good hands after all. David, you behave yourself.”

  36. Heavensrun

    So this is a terrible idea, and also…kinda mean?

    1. eskimolos

      Yeah, this is super mean, and towards someone who is so far deep down into self worth and trauma issues they’ve shut off from literally everyone.

  37. Tim

    Its the opposite of when Ethan was Amber’s fake and perfect boyfriend.

  38. fireprincesslily

    This seems like an extremely bad idea

    1. Angel

      Walky coming up with bad ideas is half his charm/appeal lol 8D

      1. Clif

        Though to be fair, this is Lucy’s bad idea. Walky is just enthusiastically adopting it.

  39. DarkoNeko

    . . . . . . .Lucy, just shut up

  40. Angel

    surprise ambers phone case isn’t more customized but it is a nice color lol

    1. Da Boy

      I mean, she isn’t a fan of standing out so it makes sense. All the weird is on the inside.

      1. Angel

        i suppose just a regular color phone case with some shipping art as the wallpaper is one thing lol tho wouldn’t be surprised if it was like glow in teh dark or something so it’d be easy to find or so/something that sticks out to not get it switched with another phone

  41. Lars

    What are the chances that Dorothy crashes in there as well? Than we would have Danny plus his two Ex’s, Walky and the same two Ex’s and Sal. And maybe Galasso.

    1. Dot

      Oh lol she is ABSOLUTELY gonna stumble on Amber and Walky pretending to be canoodling. The setup is too perfect to ignore, especially coming the day after Walky turned her down out of loyalty to Lucy.

  42. Devin

    WHAT?? Bad ideas in the Bad Ideas Webcomic??

    OH NOES.

    1. Leorale

      I’m shocked — shocked! — to find Dumbing in this establishment!

      1. MM

        What is this Age coming to?!

  43. Clif

    Amber is amazingly good at this.

  44. Acher4

    Oh, this is going to go… SO well!!
    /s

  45. Ophidiophile

    Amber seems to have been very distracted lately. Any thoughts on what’s going on with her?

    1. Clif

      Those games aren’t going to win themselves.

    2. Taffy

      If I had to guess, the dead friend, survivor’s guilt, detachment from her other friend, Halloween, family shake-up with Dr. Rosenthal bangin’ her mom in closets, probably some other stuff, and all her preexisting issues.

      Or did you just mean in the past hour or two?

    3. Angel

      maybe she’s been texting booster the whole time to keep updated about asher and ethan

  46. Derek

    this so stupid

  47. Suet

    Fission Mailed time

    Predictions aside, Panel 1 smells like that one meme Penguins from Madagascar

  48. Amós Batista

    It’s calling Dumbing of Age for reasons…

  49. Plaaaa

    Watch Walky’s mom will admire Amber for stabbing Sal.

    1. Da Boy

      Her brain might explode. Amber stabbed Sal, but she is Walky girlfriend, but Sal is now the Golden Child because she dates a stereotypical white boy, but Walky now dates a White girl but… [brain explodes]

      1. Angel

        “you were just a cornered tween who felt scared and defended herself” XP

  50. ValdVin

    “Stare at your phone. And preferably at whatever thing on the internet makes you bit your lower lip and blush.”

    1. Angel

      “listen to a homo-erotic podcast on full blast/no ear phones and let the whole restaurant hear”

      1. ValdVin

        I gotta admit, that tracks for her.

        1. Angel

          well i don’t think she’d want attention on herself normally, given how she was avoiding walking in when joe handed out his ‘apology’ donuts but if she is going no bridges burnt then she’d probably do it for walky and avoid that specific restaurant in a while

  51. AlaninDC

    I feel kinda bad that they’re laying this role on Amber. She’s always been my favorite character and I’ve been hopeful for a decent recovery for her.
    Gotta remember these are fictional characters, but it gets difficult sometimes.

    1. Adept

      Hard agree.

    2. Angel

      she was willing to help out, for a free meal so i’d assume she’s in a good neough headspace to deal with annoying parents. or maybe just parkour away if needed halfway through

  52. The Other Mike

    To quote “Bones” McCoy, “?Don’t bury yourself in your part!”

  53. Rabisch

    Maybe it’s just my impression. But when Amber hears something bad or about her past mistakes, she isolates herself from reality through her phone. I really, REALLY hope Booster sees this and tries to pull her out of the disaster she seems to allow Walky and Lucy to put her into.

    1. Clif

      To be fair, she isolates herself through her phone regardless.

  54. Yeet

    Given how well the walkertons reacted towards an utter nerd, I’m not sure presenting another, less social, utter nerd is inherently going to have the terrible effect walky wants.
    Now, the stabby bit is another matter and he’s being ridiculously inconsiderate towards his sister, but he might be assuming she won’t be there? I don’t know.

  55. Chubsius

    I could see this backfiring because Sal, Danny, and Amber still (mostly) get along. Having Sal/Danny there might bring out a slightly more normal version of Amber, and the parents could be left liking Amber more than Lucy. Even the roller derby team could be a plus. I could also see this ultimately raising Sal even higher on the totem pole, as she’s forgiven/befriended her stabber.

    1. Seregiel

      Or Danny is going destroy Walky’s plan by asking where his gf is and when he says Amber he’s going to go off not only about cheating with his partner but being with his ex (again!)

    2. Segnosaur

      Add to that Danny’s petty resentment of Walky and walky’s tendency to be… Less than diplomatic.

      Parents might make Sal their favorite over walky, after they see walky “attack” Danny (the nice white boy that their daughter managed to catch).

  56. The Jighole Man

    I wonder if this is going to end with the parents actually being racist, and not just as some big misunderstanding.

    I don’t know where this is gonna go, but it seems way too straight forward for Dumbing of Age.

    1. The Oracle

      Pretty sure if any of the characters said a big ticket racial slur, Willis would get death threats, so if they’re openly and undeniably racist it’ll at least be a little subtle.

  57. Dot

    This is a catastrophically bad idea.

  58. Heather

    Im fine with the shenanigans but I still am baffled at Amber agreeing to have anything to do with Walky given the Halloween debacle. Unless she’s so out of it she somehow forgot which is another cause for concern (alternatively my garbage memory makes me misremember them being cool again).

    1. Yumi

      As an audience, we haven’t seen them interact after being shown the Halloween flashback, so we definitely haven’t seen that be explicitly addressed/forgiven between them. There was a conversation set after the timeskip where they seemed to almost be getting along, but overall there doesn’t seem much of a reason for Amber to go along with this other than “for kicks.”

      Which. Is a solid reason in my book.

      1. thejeff

        We haven’t seen any real hostility between them since the timeskip, though they’re obviously not still as close as before. They’ve had months to get mostly back to normal.

        1. Yumi

          There haven’t been many interactions between them post-time skip, and the most recent had them, like I said, almost getting along, but the other interactions since the time skip? Yeah, there’s definitely been some hostility/awkward tension that doesn’t really scream “back to normal (unless normal is hostile and awkward)” to me.
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2021/comic/book-11/03-see-you-in-the-funny-page/certainly-2/

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/01-this-bright-millennium/replacement-2/

  59. Amelie Wikström

    I’m not sure why Amber should take “my insufferably elitist, racist parents would think you’re the worst girlfriend” as an insult. I’d be into it, except for the talking to people part. . .

  60. MoreWLessG

    Sorry not sorry: This is incredibly foolish and makes absolutely no sense for the storyline. Like, Walky has already introduced his girlfriend to his parents – they know it’s not Amber. I get Walky thinking this might be a good idea but Lucy? Did he make her dumber or something?

    1. Adept

      Just to play Devil’s Advocate for a moment, even smart teenagers can talk themselves (never mind each other!) into deeply stupid shit.

      But I agree. I don’t care for this subplot, and it doesn’t feel real.

      1. MoreWLessG

        Yep. Teens do seem to do that. But how does both Walky and Lucy forget that they’ve already introduced her as his girlfriend? And why on EARTH would Amber agree to something like this when it’s 100% going to cause problems and conflict?

        And like, what’s the end game plan here too? “Ha ha – GOT YA! Amber isn’t actually my girlfriend, I’ve just been doing a series of elaborate lies to prove your inherent racism as a ‘gotcha’ and now obviously you’ll take this with grace and accept my real girlfriend who is black”? This idea makes NO sense.

        1. Taffy

          Swooning and fainting and shitting my pants when I see a cartoon teenager act in a way that makes no logistical sense rather than behaving rationally

    2. Vanessa

      Haha this makes perfect sense — desperate social climber Lucy and newly arrogant “hot Walky” would selfishly and without any concern for another person’s feelings think they can get away with shenanigans to manipulate parents. It’s like Joyce pretending to be Jacob’s girlfriend but premeditated! But I suddenly dislike Walky and Lucy even more now.

  61. Adept

    This is seriously messed up. I get the idea is hijinks, but Amber has been through a lot of shit, and she really, REALLY, doesn’t need this.

  62. vulcanodon

    Is this a good time to remember what the strip is called? Because it seems like that.

  63. Rikunda

    There is no way this can go bad… like how your mom already know who you are really dating and suddenly you have another? Thus creating you as a player?

  64. Booyahman

    I’m a little unclear what the plan is here, Walky already told his parents that he’s dating Lucy, admittedly in a metaphor, but he did tell them. What’s he gonna do, just bring Amber along as a third wheel? Tell them that he WAS sleeping with her for a bit? Does Lucy even know that, I don’t remember.

  65. reed

    seems like a really cruel thing to put amber through and ultimately lucy as well.

  66. RedComet

    Well, let’s see how this plays out I guess!

  67. poyo

    absolutely no way this would confirm any biases. not at all.

  68. Dunedon

    How is this even supposed to work?

    I mean Linda KNOWS Walky is dating Lucy, that’s only a few panels ago when they change meal plans to try and avoid her, how is Walky suddenly having a NEW girlfriend going to make any sense?

    She’s evil, she’s not stupid.

    1. Angel

      she assumed joyce was the gf right off the bat so maybe she would think “oh good my son is charming enough to get a new gf that soon”

      I don’t think walky ever texted back “the restaurant is fine, lucy’s coming anyways”

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