208

Stands
Posted on September 17, 2013 by David M Willis
  One more day for the SIXTEEN 10%-off coupon code in the online store!  You’ve got until midnight PST Wedesday. Just in time for that deadline, I have an order page up for the new DoA poster.  It’s technically a preorder, since I’m waiting for a post-SPX batch of posters to arrive, but here’s your small window… to savings! Also super thanks to everyone who came by to say hello at SPX!  I was happy to see all of you.  I'll definitely be returning next year if I am able.   (Getting into SPX is rough!)

208 thoughts on “Stands”

  1. Jen Aside

    YOUR MOM was trying to understand you…

    wait

    1. AgentKeen

      YOUR MOM was waiting…

      That’s how this works, right?

      1. spaceinvader42

        YOUR MOM is how this works

        1. Leorale

          Mike works your mom for a nickel.

        2. gears

          I’m amazed it took 4 posts for this.

        3. GoSpeedRumpist

          I posted 4 in your mom!

        4. Hawkwing

          YOUR MOM took four posts.
          Am I doing it right?

        5. Myth

          Your mom is doing it right.

        6. JA

          YOUR MOTHER…

          …makes awesome chocolate chip cookies.

        7. ALLxISxGONE

          How did you know?

        8. Historyman68

          How do you know my mother?

        9. Raoullefere

          You don’t really want an answer to that, now do you, Historyman68?

        10. Erika

          Umami makes awesome Asian food.

        11. bdl555

          in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

  2. Gottawonder

    Ah first thought is ‘grow up Kid’. But then….

  3. Super Duper

    Billie is a dick.
    Even with a vagina, she is still a dick.

    1. Pizzathehutt

      A Digina! Or a Vick, but I like Digina! 😛

      1. ironbillie

        Well, I guess she and Billie could has lesbian children them 😛

      2. Leorale

        Digina, Digital Monsters, Digivolve into champions

      3. Eromer

        I know you meant it as a combination of dick and vagina….but Digina sounds like a digital Vagina to me….and I’m not too sure what to think about that.

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Or the next form of Dina.

        2. Super Duper

          She Dinavolved?

        3. nekobawt

          yeah so i’m an order picker for an amazon.com website and i’m pretty sure i’ve encountered several varieties of digital vaginas in my years there. among other assorted, shall we say, paraphernalia. did you know they made avatar (the movie, not the airbender one…at least not that i’m aware of) themed fleshlights?

          seriously…

          no but my job is totally an education. XD

        4. Khrene Cleaver

          Did it look like a blue vagina or a the end of their pony tail?
          As of now I only have access to a public computer and I can’t just throw on the private browsing and search for myself.

      4. Hoboturtle

        I love vicks… medicine

      5. Roborat

        Personally, I would go with dickgina. Digina sounds like it could be someones actual first name.

  4. Doctor_Who

    Somewhere, without knowing why, Mike has a boner.

    1. NightmareWarden

      It’s angry, and out for blood!

    2. KingMabel

      I’m sure we all know why…

    3. Yotomoe

      Just in time too, for he is banging your mom.

    4. Tungsten Aleph

      There will be no survivors.

    5. Spack

      …and he knows he should have a nickel, but doesn’t. Time to punch somebody. Somebody’s MOM.

    6. Reltzik

      And thus begins the Billie/Mike ship.

      1. The Candyman

        I’ve been shipping that for months. That and Mike/Ruth.

        1. xKiv

          So .. Billie/Mike/Ruth?

  5. AngryBamboo

    YOUR MOM is needlessly defensive!

    1. Yotomoe

      Your mom uses high school insults as a defense mechanism!

      1. Leorale

        Your mom is a classy lady! I’d like to bake her a nice cake.

        1. Yotomoe

          Your mom has a job and is a respected member of the community.

        2. Batman

          Your mom is easily the most intelligent and well-educated person in your neighborhood.

          And I’m Batman.

        3. Shadow12000

          Your mom is Batman.

        4. MM

          Batman’s mom is dead! You people are so insensitive!

        5. xKiv

          Batman is dead!
          — Nietzsche

        6. Don

          Nietzche is dead!
          – Batman

        7. Roborat

          Batman is Nietzche!
          – Dead

        8. xKiv

          Nietzche is Batman!
          — Dead

  6. Bilfred

    I make these jokes every day.

    I…I don’t know how to stop….

    1. AJBulldis

      We’ll start a support group.

      Hi, my name is AJ Bulldis, and I make “your mom does things” jokes.

      1. Yotomoe

        YOUR MOM makes “your mom does things” jokes!

        1. shparky

          http://xkcd.com/366/

      2. Hoboturtle

        Your mom needs a support group!… oh God, this tick is ruining my life.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Your MOM doesn’t know when to stop…taking nickels for…cookies perhaps? I seem to have a gap in my education. Is the joke that everyone’s mom is running an inexpensive bake sale?

      1. Bilfred

        indeed.

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    What crawled up Billie’s bum?

    1. Super Duper

      Ruth’s mom. Yes, Billie has gone all Twilight on us.

    2. PureFedora

      Your mom…..

      1. AgentKeen

        For a dollar.

        It’s only a nickel for Mike.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Mike buys in bulk, so he gets a discount.

    3. anifreik

      Billie is an ex-cheerleader, and missing it very much atm

  8. Skull025

    Something, something, your mom was a football field.

    1. Doctor_Who

      A hundred yards wide, covered in sweaty men, and the site of much ball handling.

      1. Bilfred

        That was the finest of recoveries that is possible with this joke format.

      2. Kernanator

        That…is actually a pretty good one.

  9. KingMabel

    Oh the good old days of dancing in tight, revealing clothes…

    1. Yotomoe

      Ah yes…marching band…

      1. KingMabel

        I was thinking of choir. But sure…

      2. Kernanator

        The fondest memories I have from high school involved marching band.

        Also my deepest shames. But I don’t want to talk about those.

    2. timemonkey

      That was every day for me back in school. Parents were a tad slow in buying me clothes each year. Gaze upon my pre-teen boy figure wearing short shorts and despair!

  10. Fay

    Ooh. Nice comeback.

  11. Norj

    Billie is suffering from cheer-leading withdrawal.

    1. ironbillie

      It Indiana Football. There is nothing to cheer about.

    2. Yotomoe

      She needs a Pom-Pom Patch.

      1. Norj

        She needs to wrap her legs around Ruth’s head.

  12. KingMabel

    I still ship them. Currently the most violent ship and 3rd cutest

    1. vsophi

      What are the first and second?

      1. Yotomoe

        Faz and Dina and Dina and Faz.

        1. Shadow12000

          He asked for the cutest not the Fazest.

      2. KingMabel

        2nd. Joyce and Walky’s old shoes

        1st. Deena and Billie’s cheer outfit

      3. Bob

        Sal x Amazi-Girl and Ryan x a swift kick in the balls

        1. Shadow12000

          Rykick is my OTP.

        2. vsophi

          +1 to the both of you

  13. Gottawonder

    Just have to feel sorry for Billy for having so very little that she thinks being a cheerleader was the height of her life…and it was. Things gotta get better eventually, if she gets her head outta her butt and tries.

    1. NightmareWarden

      Some say she became a reporter. She still has that…I guess.

    2. Yotomoe

      Being a cheerleader is AWESOME! not that I would know.

    3. Doctor_Who

      If she can get her head up her butt, she’s definitely flexible enough to be a cheerleader.

  14. Wonder Wig

    At first I thought it was Billie getting grumpy at Ruth for looking at the cheerleaders, then it turns out they weren’t the droids I’m looking for.

    1. Yotomoe

      I dunno about you, but I’m always looking for droids that look like cheerleaders.

      1. Ocbrad1

        Oh I think we all are. +1 for you.

  15. AJBulldis

    HOWARD! Put that game down! If you don’t like watching girls dance around and dudes trying to murder each other for a nebulous prize I fail to see why you’d even want to see Game of Thrones.

    1. NightmareWarden

      Football doesn’t have enough swords. Have YOU ever seen a flaming sword at a football game?
      And no, rioters don’t count. Beer goggles do count though.

      1. Yotomoe

        I bring my flaming sword to every game. I feel it gathers more attention than a foam finger.

    2. Shadow12000

      There is a difference between “trying to murder each other” and “sweatily grappling with each other in usually muddy terrain.”

    3. Shadow12000

      Also those girls are in the least sexy cheerleading outfits I’ve ever seen.

      1. REDWOLFORDIE

        Google Search: “FAU Cheerleaders”. They are the only thing worth watching at an FAU Game.

  16. vsophi

    Is Howard playing a DS?

    1. AJBulldis

      Possibly a 3DS.

      1. Z3tto

        I’m pretty sure it’s a 3DS, since the regular DS doesn’t have cameras on the back.

        1. vsophi

          ah, ty

        2. Vash

          It may be a DSi.

      2. rachel

        ahhhh my husband just got me one for my birthday and it arrives TOMORROW AHHHHH

  17. ironbillie

    YOUR MOM should smack Howard for being on that damn cell phone instead of watching the game. I don’t care if he care not for football but it the principle. Also, why go to a game if you have no interest in it?

    1. Norj

      Because your big sister dragged you there.

      1. ironbillie

        But he still had to drive there and/or have someone drive him there. Still need a good smack.

        1. Yotomoe

          No. She made him go. And they walked. That’s about as fair as smacking a child for going to church and not enjoying it. Their parents made them!

        2. ironbillie

          How did he get to the campus? Indiana U is not located in the biggest city in Indiana and even if he lives in Bloomington he had to have someone drive him there and he seem will to go there until the game itself. Smack his head off.

        3. timemonkey

          You don’t make a lot of sense. Just because you want to visit a sibling doesn’t mean you want to watch sports. And it’s in no way your fault if they force you to go to a game.

          If I was there I’d have my ipod and at least a handheld gaming device and probably at least two books to completely drown out the boring.

        4. Andiemus

          Or maybe he’s just texting at that second. You know, football games have a LOT of pauses in the action.

        5. Shadow12000

          You’re the one that needs to get their head smacked off. How dare you call a 3DS a cell phone. You shall be banned from all forms of entertainment for the rest of whatever sports season it is.

        6. Bill

          How do you know that it is in fact a 3DS or whatever you called it?  Just because the back doesn’t have the image of a half-eaten fruit on it doesn’t mean it can’t a cellphone.  Besides, Howard seems intelligent and tech-savvy enough to have seen thru the iPhoney hype and gotten an Android-powered phone – many models of which do have a slide-out keyboard.

        7. Bill

          Maybe even the Sony/Ericsson Experia!!

        8. SiggimusMaximus

          Name me one folding phone with that profile. Its a 3DS, friend.

        9. Bill

          What profile?  We don’t even see the whole device; just a ‘something’ with a top and a bottom.  So it could be a Motorola Citrus; Motorola Droid 3; Motorola Droid 4; LG Enlighten; or a Samsung Stratosphere, just to mention a few current smartphones.

          And there are several others that fit that same look (main body of phone and slide-out keyboard) have been released and retired already, like the LG Lucid or the Motorola Droid 2 … and of course the afore-mentioned Sony/Ericssen Experia ‘Play’ smartphone that had a slide-out Playstation-style game pad instead of a QWERTY keyboard.  In fact, it might not even be a smartphone but an old basic (non-internet) phone like the LG EnV, the LG Cosmos, the LG Octane, the Samsung Intensity, or the Samsung Brightside … all of which had a slide-out or fold-out keyboard.

        10. David Willis

          It’s a phone.

          It’s a phone like the Android smartphone I have.

          With, like, a slide-out keyboard.

          You dorks.

        11. Bill

          We’ve got people talking about all sorts of other webcomics, anime, Pokemon, and other various video game universes in these comments, and *I* get called out for being a cell-phone dork.
          Wow.

        12. Historyman68

          The dorkitude is in the pedantry, not the subject matter.

        13. The Candyman

          And here I thought everyone under 30 had a non-flip, non-slide phone.

  18. EvergreenFir

    Ruth’s mom is Jimmy Hoffa… you know… buried under a foodball field… yeah… I’m funny

  19. Z3tto

    Apparently, seeing girls dance makes Billie crave some good ol’ phallic symbolism.

    1. Yotomoe

      Her and Me both.

  20. rachel

    d’awwww

    now everyone!

    D’AWWWWWW

    1. KingMabel

      Just the women!

      D’AWWWWWWWWWWW

      1. rachel

        okay now all of the mans!

        ddddd’awwwww

        1. Shadow12000

          Wait, why do we have to stutter?

        2. ShaggyDonahugh

          It’s a tiny moment of silence for my newest nickel.

  21. RaijinK

    So yesterday’s strip was “Hands”, today’s is “Stands”. Any guess for tomorrow’s strip name? Maybe it’ll focus on the marching bands?

    1. Batman

      Glands.

      1. Shadow12000

        Demands.

    2. The Candyman

      Cans.

    3. xKiv

      Strands.

    4. saltchocolate

      Lands.

  22. Emoroffle

    Kiss her you fool! (She’s bound to listen to me someday.)

    1. ironbillie

      Wonder if there is a Kiss Cam at that Stadium?

      1. Emoroffle

        I’m sure someone would be more than willing to point a camera at those two smooching.

  23. Gottawonder

    Speaking of…I gotta wonder how my first post showed up in 2nd place, and my next post showed up in 7th place. I left and came back, and my posts are now at 7th and 41st.
    This is an interesting development in that, why do they move. If you’re post is the 7th one to show up on the forum, how does it move down to 41 3 minutes later?
    One of the 7th wonders of the world 😛

    1. Batman

      Because people replied to posts in between.

    2. Shadow12000

      …and the first thing I see in that post is “41 3”. Dammit Homestuck…

  24. mechaqua

    I wonder if there is an internet rule that says once you utter the phrase: “your mom” followed by whatever the person that your in conversation with said prior to your statement. You automatically lose the conversation. or if you have reached the point were you utter “your mom” you have lost sort of like Godwin’s law but instead of the Nazis it Your Mom

    Also good chance due to my internet browser this message may have popped up twice if it has i apologize

    1. vsophi

      unless you’re mike

      1. mechaqua

        Mike’s an outlier

    2. joeyo

      There’s a good chance your mom may have popped up twice.

    3. Cybersnark

      What if your mom is a Nazi?

      Do we get extra Godwin points?

      1. ShaggyDonahugh

        +1 to Cybersnark

  25. Kaci

    I’ve done what Billy’s done. Except, I was NEVER serious.

    …

    This looks like a job for butt-less chaps!

    1. Kaci

      I forgot until now that some people here have read Dominic Deegan and get what I wrote 😛

  26. Kernanator

    Yeah? Well, YOUR MOM was a cheerleader!

  27. Mattyos

    YOUR MOM is OP!

    1. Super Duper

      I demand a nerf on Your Mom.

      1. kirocontoy

        Roll a d20

        1. Carlos

          Must…. resist….
          My DM: you roll a one… again
          Me: MY WILL DEF CHECK! NOOOOO!! your mom *sob*

      2. Kaci

        Your mom is Irelia!

  28. Kennerly

    Ruth is a woman herself, you’d think she’d understand the female love of secrets and the fear of being understood by someone before you’re willing to share with them.

    1. Maja!

      “the female love of secrets” and “the fear of being understood by someone before you’re willing to share with them”? I’m a woman and I don’t understand your assumptions about women in general as I’m not like that myself neither do I know other women who are this way…

      1. That Damn Rat

        Actually I suspect Billy is mostly upset because Howard’s presence interfered with her getting alone time with Ruth. Not that she’d admit that, or is likely even conscious of it herself.

      2. ShaggyDonahugh

        The Dina avatar seems so….so….right.

        1. ShaggyDonahugh

          Drat. Gravatar.

    2. vsophi

      I… I’m always baffled whenever I see comments like this on Willis comics. You’d think with a predominately female, stereotype-free main cast, readers would already kinda be clued in on this sort of thing.

      1. The Candyman

        Especially since Willis is one of the most feminist writers I know (granted, I don’t really know a lot of them).

  29. newllend

    Who there leave the your mom jokes to mike girl

  30. Bunivasal

    I am sending psychic Internet vibrations into the past. David, find a way to incorporate Westview’s miserable band director. You’re our only hope. Gloom. Gloom. Gloom.

    1. David Willis

      Westview is in Ohio.

      1. EvergreenFir

        Can’t tell if that’s a statement of fact, an insult, or both. (Ohioan here. We know it sucks)

      2. Bill

        “Westview is in Ohio.”
        Which borders Indiana.  Could happen.
        BTW, two points to Bunivasal for the F. Winkerbean reference.

  31. G127

    As someone who has never followed this sport: can someone please explain?

    1. Azhrei Vep

      Cheerleads hang out by the field, not in the stands. So Billie isn’t used to being in the stands, because she’s used to being a cheerleader.

    2. AJBulldis

      This page really has nothing to do with the sport itself, so much as how Billie used to be the head cheerleader on her high school team, and watching the game (and cheerleading) from the seats is upsetting for her. But since she’s in public and afraid of being seen as weak, she expresses her hurt as frustration, apathy, and aimless aggression.

    3. C.

      American sports have cheerleaders, and they lead the cheers from the field. Was there anything else?

      1. G127

        Nah, I’m good. I thought it had something to do with the hotdogs and didn’t get the joke. It’s indeed quite obvious. Thanks for the condescending help.

        1. Historyman68

          Mmm hotdogs

  32. Dr. Von Z.

    And meanwhile, at Galasso’s … we want to know what happens ! Damn you Willis !
    (Wait, we also want more Ruth+Billie because that shio is awesome and … aaargh …)

  33. Jack Finch

    Way to rock that sense of humorous Billie!!!

  34. nick

    I had a friend in middle school ho would always say “Your MOM’s a locker!” whenever we would ask him to move over cause he was blocking our locker. Funny guy.

    1. Raye J

      I used to threatened to melt my locker into a gift for my mom every time it wouldn’t open. Surprisingly, it worked more often than not.

  35. Jimmy

    Yo mamma!

  36. Keroshino

    Fight, Fight, Fight…Kiss, Kiss, Kiss

  37. darksied

    I get that complicated lives make for good drama, but only if juxtaposed against reasonably sane ones. Can’t we have one couple in this thing that doesn’t seemed doomed to fall apart. I know they’re all 18 or 19 year old college students, but come on, surely someone isn’t an abuse victim; or fighting there homosexual desires; or a super alchoholic; or unable to enjoy college because they’re future obsessed; or a rebel having inappropriate sex with a TA (which is wrong for a lot more reasons than I think most people realize). Again, drama is good, but it needs some contrast. /end rant that everyone will hate/

    1. vsophi

      Dorothy and Walky.

      1. NF

        That is terrifying.

      2. Norj

        Dorothy and Walky both got serious issues they just don’t stand out compared to everyone else.

        1. vsophi

          Like what?

      3. Logician

        Dorothy & Walky have agreed to fall apart, either when Dorothy leaves or when Walky gets fed up because it’s getting too serious for him. The real question is whether they are doomed to stay together.

        1. vsophi

          Out of the (dating) main cast, the only ones who have ever actually even been in a relationship before are Danny, Dorothy, and maybe (probably) Billie. Ethan and Amber don’t count for obvious reasons. So not only are they young and foolish, the majority are inexperienced. It’s kind of unreasonable to expect any of them to last for long, regardless of the health factor of their relationship.

      4. ShaggyDonahugh

        BAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

    2. ninja_jesus

      How dare you! Billie and Ruth are not doomed; they will be together forever!

  38. Cybersnark

    One of those cheerleaders appears to be out of position.

    Billie’s probably going to sneak down to field level and rip them a new one for incompetence and bringing shame upon the profession.

  39. Bill

    I’m surprised this didn’t occur to me until now but the way her definition of social status revolves around cheer leading did Billie even try out for the squad?

    1. Norj

      She was probably banned because of the DUI.

      1. David Willis

        No probably about it — Billie specifically stated such.

  40. Aizat

    You know who else watches the football game from the stands instead of the field? MY MOM!

    1. Norj

      The mom jokes are no longer funny time for serious talk about Billies emotional issues.

    2. Kernanator

      You’re supposed to insult the other person’s mom, Muscle Man.

  41. maycroft

    Seriously Ruth? you’re trying to get this girl, and this what you tell her?

  42. AI

    you kiss her, she shoves you away, and now you’re going to a football game together. Sometimes I miss college

  43. SomePunk

    This page confuses me.

    Wouldn’t the placement of panels make more sense with

    Panel Position . Actual Panel.
    1. 1st Panel
    2. 3rd Panel
    3. 4th Panel
    4. 2nd Panel

    1. David Willis

      I have no idea what that would accomplish.

      1. Vash

        Billy’s reaction would be to Ruth’s remark rather than to the cheerleaders, though that would make the cheerleader panel completely irrelevant.

        1. Vash

          shit Billie*

    2. Kernanator

      Your arrangement confuses me.

    3. Vash

      Am I the only one who understands this arrangement?

      1. LiamAldam

        I get it. It’s because “Whatever. I’m — I’m gonna find a hot dog or something.” is a conversation ender not starter.

        1. AI

          Yeah i see that but i could also see “whatever.” signaling the end of some kind of internal dialogue about how she should be top cheerleader instead of ruthless’s tagalong. This strip is mostly hinges on panels 3 and 4 staying in that order. Everything else can be rearranged around them.

        2. DSL

          Billie’s “Whatever” is a reaction to the game environment as a whole, including a cheer squad of which she is not a part. Ruth’s comment is an understanding of that.

        3. DSL

          … followed by Billie’s final comment being an attempt at camouflaging angry denial of Ruth’s understanding (because that would be admitting a weakness). Also, nice bit of art in second panel where Billie is looking sideways at first panel, and by extension the cheer squad she does not want to admit she wants to be part of.

  44. LiamAldam

    Anyone else notice Tanny Danny in Panel 2?

  45. Ragnal

    …Did we skip a strip?

    1. Kernanator

      Nope, choppy transitions are just a thing.

  46. LiveWire

    There was a banter going around this place I worked once…
    Week 1: “X”; “Your MOM X”
    Week 2 added: “My Mom’s dead.”
    Week 3 added: “She wasn’t last night!”
    Week 4 really killed the mood when some guy said, “No, really. She died last year.”

  47. nothri

    Your mom totally deserved whatever that was. For a nickel.

  48. Onion

    what dId yoU jUst sAy aBOuT MY MoTHER

Leave a Reply to Vash Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.