353

Step-dad
Posted on February 12, 2018 by David M Willis

353 thoughts on “Step-dad”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “Faz does indeed wish to be tried as an adult!”

  2. Doctor_Who

    Man, I know Faz and Amber are short, but I swear Rachel gains an inch in height every time we see her.

    Girl needs to try out for basketball.

    1. MM

      It’s only a matter of time before she snaps and goes full She-Hulk.

      1. Doctor_Who

        That’s the only thing that could make Joe temporarily revert to his old ways just so he can upgrade her from 11 to 12.

        1. geno

          I think Joe would have a heart attack immediately afterwards.

    2. Kernanator

      By this time next year, Rachel will be 8 feet tall and capable of crushing peoples’ skulls between her palms.

      1. spriteless

        But we’ll never reach next year. Or do you mean next year when Faz’s two weeks are up?

      2. DrWattson

        By Book 9, all we’ll see of her is one panel-height ankle.

        1. Mr. Bulbmin

          By Book 12, we’ll have random cuts to her at planetary scale, idly using the moon as a beach ball

        2. Reltzik

          But her head will remain the same size, because Willis made a point of shrinking the cast heads years ago and won’t want to reverse that.

          …….

          Also, I demand fanart.

        3. David DeLaney

          [guest cameo from The King Of All Cosmos]

          –Dave, don’t make me start the earworm

    3. tim gueguen

      That’s because Rachel is actually an android, created by Carla for some yet to be determined joke

  3. AnvilPro

    Faz x Rachel is the only correct OTP in this comic

    1. wheelpath

      I’m even more peeved by this sarcastic comment because you have a Becky avatar. Notlikethis

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      I think you misspelled Faz x Baseball bat to the face.

  4. wheelpath

    God Damn Willis, don’t give me flashbacks to TransFourmers.

    1. Undrave

      So many terrible Dinobots toys pegwarming…

  5. Icalasari

    Amber, just punt him out a window on the highest floor

    No jury would convict you

  6. DanMan9820

    Wait, is Faz only supposed to be 13 in the Dumbiverse?

    1. SarahSaur

      I think this implies he turns 16 in two weeks. (When he’ll have fully reached the age of consent, not just romeo and juliet wise – not certain though)

      1. Yumi

        That’s how I read it too, that he’s 15-almost-16.

      2. Nono

        I think he’s 13. Otherwise the Romeo and Juliet law wouldn’t have been brought up.

        1. BBCC

          He’s bringing it up because he’s 15 NOW and will reach the age of consent (16 in Indiana) in two weeks. I THINK.

        2. Nono

          The last statement seems like Faz is saying ‘so in two weeks time, it won’t be illegal to have sex with me’. If Faz was already covered by the R&J law, that he’d be trying to get to laid now, rather than two weeks later.

        3. TheOthin

          That was my first read, but I think it’s supposed to be “if you don’t want to rely on that law, it won’t be a problem in two weeks”. Especially since 13-year-olds aren’t usually in high school.

        4. Yumi

          If he’s thirteen…well, he did say his birthday’s in two weeks, so technically he could be a freshman in high school, but it’d be less likely that he’d be in high school, from my perspective.

        5. Dark

          All this speculation is rather pointless, as Dave has said himself that Faz is 17.

        6. Yumi

          I was pretty sure I remembered Faz as being 17! …but that doesn’t make sense with this strip.

        7. BBCC

          In which case bringing up the age of consent and Romeo and Juliet laws would be pointless, and he’d probably just say ‘I’m only a year or two younger than you.”

          I think Willis has changed his mind.

        8. LookingIn

          Seems more like accidentally contradicting himself or contradicting his previous statement for the sake of a joke and the storyline.

          As it stands, it can be interpreted as him being 15 and in two weeks he will be 16. Unless he is going to state that he’s 17 outright it’s entirely plausible to continue on the “he’s 15” sentiment.

        9. TemperaryObsessor

          I guess its possible Faz knows about those laws but still be confused about the age of consent where he lives.

        10. BBCC

          I think he IS trying to get laid and then, when she’s grossed out, he says ‘Okay, how about when I hit the age of consent? How about then’?

        11. Yumi

          He could be 15, bringing up the law to say he could currently legally have sex. Then she she says, “That is super gross,” so he moves on to when he’d meet the regular age of consent. Because clearly laws relating to age are the only thing stopping others from being interested in him.

    2. BBCC

      15, I believe Willis once commented that Indiana’s age of consent is 16 when people were asking about why Conquest was still written as sexually active.

    3. Jupiterror

      Willis said Faz was 17 on his tumblr a while back: http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/58157353814/is-faz-younger-than-amber-in-doa-theres-no

      1. Yumi

        But based on this strip, it seems likely that’s changed.

        1. Nono

          Faz is 17, as in a 17/10, according to this graph that Faz made.

    4. Vorkon

      Not necessarily

      Rachel might be 19 or even 20, and Faz would know this, as Faz possesses this chart detailing the ages and room numbers of each girl in Amber’s dorm…

  7. BBCC

    Creepy as Faz is here, I can’t help but notice he ducked the point when Amber clarified she was talking about Blaine.

    1. Twitcher

      Maybe he believes Blaine is his bio dad for some reason?

  8. Tacos

    I don’t think anybody would mind if Rachel punched Faz in the face.

    1. LBD "Nyetrayn"

      I don’t think Faz would mind if Rachel punched Faz in the face.

  9. Mad_Academic

    This is one of those moments where I’m torn between exasperation, anger and laughter.

  10. MM

    Is every other strip in this arc going to tease a perfectly satisfactory ending (i.e. Rachel stuffing Faz back into the elevator) only to have it snatched away from us at the last minute?

  11. Danni

    ….is that actually a thing???

    1. Danni

      im gonna be sick

      1. Petra

        If it helps laws like that are generally supposed to protect teenagers having sex with each other, so a 15 year old and a 14 year old wouldn’t get in trouble for fooling around, legally, or a 15 year old and a 16 year old, or a 14 year old and 16 year old (who might be only a little over a year apart in age). It CAN be used by predators, but is SUPPOSED to be to protect teenagers from facing legal consequences for peer-to-peer consensual sexual contact.

        1. Mad_Academic

          That doesn’t help. Surely there’s a better way (He says, knowing any American legislature is a nightmare of bureaucracy)

        2. Yumi

          Child marriage is still happening in this country, so yeah, we’re pretty screwed up on some things.

        3. Petra

          Building some wiggle room into age of consent IS a better way… but 4 years is also a bit big of an age gap for such a law.

        4. JetstreamGW

          No. There isn’t. Without an explicit exception to the rules, teenagers who have sex with each other are committing felony sexual assault in most jurisdictions.

          That’s how these statutes are written, generally.

        5. Petra

          Haven’t sexting teenagers of the same age been written up for possession of child porn? So like, yeah.

        6. Yumi

          I mean, that’s kind of a different thing (kind of). I remember in high school we would have these assembles with this speaker who would be like, “Yes, the age of consent is 16. That does not mean you can take and share nudes. The age for that is 18.”

          (It was probably phrased differently.)

        7. thejeff

          Yeah, those laws need to be tweaked too. Someway to avoid busting kids for sharing pictures, while still not allowing them to star in porn.
          There was a similar thing, some decades ago, about parents being busted for child porn for taking baby pictures.

        8. TemperaryObsessor

          Ugh they need to fix that law, or explicitly say people can not get in trouble for the child porn aspect of taking naked pictures of themselves.

        9. TemperaryObsessor

          Actually they need to fix that law by explicitly saying that a person can not be charged with child porn for taking naked pictures of themselves.

        10. WonderRabbit

          It’s more complicated than that.
          Yes, 15-year-olds shouldn’t be turned into criminals for sending nudes to their boyfriends.

          But too much of a loophole means some young people may see a legal, if ethically wrong, business opportunity (and some despicable adults may encourage / facilitate such actions).

          Sex laws are hard.

        11. TemperaryObsessor

          To be clear distributing or purposely possessing those photos would still be illegal, part of the problem with holding the fifteen year old responsible is if they feel they were tricked or pressured into sharing naked photo’s they risk ruining their lives if they confide in the wrong adult.

        12. thejeff

          Still illegal to possess, even for the boyfriend she sent them to? Or took them with?
          It’s tricky to exempt the (relatively) innocent cases without opening huge loopholes for abuse.

        13. TemperaryObsessor

          Actually yea still illegal for him as well, and I guess neither should keep or share a copy if they are both in the photo (I’m assuming they are both teenagers). Its possible they could tweak the laws for a perfect balance but in the mean time I would rather a teenager tricked into taking nude photos of themselves couldn’t legally be jailed and put on the sex offender registry for it..

        14. LookingIn

          It is a thing because it has been abused in the past to punish those whom parents didn’t like giving the supposed predator a criminal record and requiring them to register as a sex offender despite it being consensual.

          It’s meant to be leeway, instead of a hard line that can be abused. It’s trying to give couples a chance instead of being a way of parents to keep their kids under their thumb until they say they can have sex.

      2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Gonna jump in here to mention that I have some direct experience with this law.

        In high school, when I was a Freshman, both me and a friend of mine had the hots for one of the Juniors. We were 14 and 15 respectively, and he was 17. She and I did a “may the best lady win” and she won – she and him ended up dating. And, when they started having sex, that law came up – particularly the next year (our Sophomore year, his Senior Year) when he turned 18 several months before she turned 16.

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          And, in case it wasn’t clear above, they were a great couple. They had every right to have sex if they wanted to. There was nothing at all creepy about it – BUT because of the sigma, he was forced to know that law by heart. People seriously did threaten to call the cops on him for being in a mutually loving and consensual relationship.

    2. Yumi

      I don’t know the specifics for Indiana, but Romeo & Juliet laws are definitely a thing.

      1. Danni

        humanity was a mistake

        1. Viktoria

          The laws have a purpose. If the age of consent is a hard number(say, 16), then you have 2 fifteen year olds banging, one of them has a birthday and suddenly it’s illegal for 2 months until the other birthday. Parents have called the cops to get rid of an unwanted SO during that period. The R&J law is basically a bug fix for standard Age of Consent laws.

        2. JetstreamGW

          It’s much worse than that. Two fifteen year old’s banging is just straight up a crime. Both of them are committing a crime. The same crime. With each other as the victim.

        3. Kyle Voltti

          And yet… only one would be charged with the crime.

        4. Wizard

          Nope. I’ve actually heard of at least one case where two underaged kids were both charged with statutorily raping each other.

        5. LookingIn

          The point was that the vast majority are boys being prosecuted though, not both.

        6. Agemegos

          It used to be that only the boy (in a heterosexual couple) would be charged, but in these less sexist days it is possible, and in fact occasionally happens, that two seventeen-year-olds can be prosecuted each for statutory rape of the other, go to prison, and be put on a sex-offenders register that there is no way to get off, and thus be unable ever in their entire lives to get a job in education or live within a thousand feet of a school (juvenile felony records are expunged, but not listings on sex offenders registers for offences committed while a juvenile.)

        7. Tarmaniel

          17/17 and 18/17 is a misdemeanor in every state it’s not just straight legal in.

          16/15 is the situation where you can conceivably get 15 years for being a few days apart in a couple states.

    3. BBCC

      Yeah, so teenagers don’t go to jail for screwing other teenagers.

      1. Yumi

        Yeah, this. There are definitely ways it can get icky at the ends, but that still doesn’t mean a sixteen year old should go to jail for having consensual sex with a fifteen year old.

      2. LookingIn

        There are dozens of examples of that being total BS and boys have been sent to jail for breaking the law by having sex with a girl that says otherwise….

        1. BBCC

          A) Depends on the specific law in the area these arrests took place in. Not all of them have close in age exemptions or R&J laws.

          B) Just because a law is intended for a reason doesn’t mean it’s applied that way (and yes, that is bullshit).

    4. Anna

      I believe there are exceptions to the law, this is to prevent parents of a 17 year old from suing and filing charges against an 18 year old significant other even though it was consensual sex. If I remember correctly. But 14 is too young in my book, their heads were in the right place but I think it’s too lenient.

      1. Petra

        Ehn, where the age of consent is 16, you could end up with a couple who’s a 16 year old and a 14 year old but not actually that far apart in age. Ofc, when you’re a teenager a year’s age gap seems huge, but it’s not necessarily unhealthily huge.

        The law covering a 18 year old and a 14 year old is a problem, though.

        1. BBCC

          I always figured it was because an 18 year old and a 14 year old could be in high school together and so could ostensibly still be a regular high school relationship.

          That’s what I assumed when I was 14 anyways (Canada’s close in age law is similar).

        2. Yumi

          Yeah, it’s…weird. Because relationships where one’s a senior and one’s a freshman do happen, but I don’t really trust them, in part based on experiences of my friends.

          It’s a complicated thing. I think the laws do make it easier for younger teens to be taken advantage of because who doesn’t want to feel more “mature” at that age? And when you’re fourteen, that’s as old as you’ve ever been, so you have a very different perspective on what should be okay for a fourteen year old than someone who’s 30 or 22 or even 18.

        3. BBCC

          When I was fourteen, I knew some of my friends were having sex. I also know my sister did when she was 14 (with another 14 year old – he might have been 15, I don’t remember). At the time, I don’t think I much cared. I was just like ‘Yeah, cool, glad you had a good time, it’s not for me, can I eat now?’

          As an 18 year old, and still as a 21 year old, that’s generally my train of thought still, but if the teenager’s SO is older than them, I’m much more ‘I’ve got my eye on you, punk, don’t you dare do anything skeevy’.

        4. Yumi

          That’s what I mean by “should be okay for a fourteen year old”– the age difference thing, not sex in general. Though I do think fourteen is too young, but I’d rather kids be safe and informed about things than what they get from an abstinence-only education.

        5. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          You know, it is surprisingly difficult to explain why some people are ready for sexual activity at age 13 and use yourself as an example without writing some very personal and embarrassing stories that I don’t feel comfortable sharing like that, so… yeah. Just saying – everyone’s made different. Some people are ready at 13, some people still aren’t ready at 23. There’s nothing wrong with either one.
          But yeah, safe sex all the way. Educate early, provide resources.

        6. Yumi

          How would you respond to eleven and twelve year olds asking how old you have to be to have sex? (Genuinely asking, since you seem to have a different perspective on things than I do, and it’s an actual situation I’ve dealt with before, and who knows if I will again.)

        7. BBCC

          I know I’m not LeslieBean, but I’ve known people similar to them and I feel like we have similarish views (though I am still really not ready and I am 21 so).

          Personally, I’d explain how ages of consent work in Canada (where I live). And explain just because you’ve reached an age where you theoretically COULD have sex legally, doesn’t mean you should or have to. It’s up to you to decide when you’re ready and capable of dealing with any and all possible fallout, physical, emotional, or psychological.

        8. Yumi

          The age of consent thing is basically what I did. However, that quickly turned to discussion of rape, which was…not something I was prepared for. But I kinda redirected it to, “Let’s talk about consent,” and that was better.

        9. Miri

          Yum, I’d probably go with “old enough to (a) be certain that it’s what you want, and not something you’re going along with because somebody else is pressurising you or you think they expect it; (b) talk contraceptives without feeling awkward and (c) deal with all potential consequences including social fall-outs, STDs and pregnancy. Legally? [Local information, plus explaining that this would mean that until they are X they are not considered old enough to consent and any partner could be tried for statutory rape, and whether e.g. this could be done without their agreement, they could be forced to testify, etc.]”

          Coz yeah – some people may have sex at 12/13 and not regret it afterwards but for most it is too young…

        10. thejeff

          Like you say, 14’s young, but I don’t think 14 year olds should be prosecuted for having sex with each other. The laws should be to protect them, not punish them. Same with anyone younger, but even more so.

          And I kind of feel the same way about 16 year old kids have sex with much older people as I do with the freshmen and seniors. Creepy and predatory, despite being legal (depending on the state).

          The laws were likely written more for simplicity than anything. Were I given a free hand to rewrite them, I’d probably start at 14 and expand the legal range by a year with every year: so 14-15, 15-17, 16-19, 17-21, etc. Maybe going up as far as 21 before it’s “free to consent with anyone”.

        11. Roborat

          Just a question, but I thought the rough ballpark for girls starting to have sexual relations was 16, because their internal lady parts aren’t developed enough for sex much before that.

        12. Inahc

          16 is about the latest that menstruation starts. some girls hit that part of puberty as young as 12, iirc – maybe lower?
          it’s at least partly genetic.

        13. Inahc

          and that’s just the time when pregnancy becomes possible – I dunno if horniness kicks in at exactly the same time, and the clitoris and vagina and stuff are all there from birth.

        14. Yumi

          Yeah, it can be younger and last I heard was trending downward. 11 for me, personally, and I know it’s common enough for even kids in elementary school to reach menarche because in fourth grade (and then again in fifth grade), the AFAB students in my school got the “here’s some stuff about bodies, go to this teacher if you need a pad” talk. Of course, it’s better to get that information before you need it than afterward so to some extent that could be precaution, but it does happen.

        15. thejeff

          @Roborat: The average age for girls having sex for the first time in the US is 16-17 and rising. Boys about a year later.
          That still leaves plenty starting earlier. Age of puberty is still dropping I believe.
          It’s not entirely clear to me what “their internal lady parts aren’t developed enough for sex much before that” actually means, if it isn’t “through puberty”, but given that’s an average, plenty do start before then, sometimes years before then. I suspect, judging by my, admittedly long outdated, experiences with and discussions with girls in or recently out of their teens, even many of those who delay are interested, but delay for various social reasons not any kind of physical inability.

        16. BBCC

          Puberty for girls typically starts with boobs, body odour, and hair growth, so around 8-10. Menstruation is typically at 11 or 12.

          Personal info alert

          I started mine at 9.

        17. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          @Yumi, Re 11 and 12 year olds:
          **reedits post five or six times to minimize embarrassing personal info**

          A lot of it would depend on the individuals involved.
          Generally, though, my usual response is that, so long as someone feels they are ready for sex independent of partners – ie, they are ready for sex in general rather than with someone specific – then whenever is fine. That indicates a general desire for sex rather than wanting to do it for the romance or for one’s partner.

          [stupidly long section redacted]

          What I’m saying is this is a very complex question with lots of factors and there aren’t any sort of easy answers. I just tend to hate age of content laws because I have seen them used as hammers to attack CHILDREN, the people that those laws are supposed to be protecting. Putting a 15 year old on a list with actual rapists because he took a dick pick of himself is not okay, nor is harassing a 18 year old for dating a 16 year old. And that’s before getting into some of the weird same-sex laws that are still on the books in some states that can be slapped onto teens by angry parents….

          .. there. I think this post is done. Gods that took more time and effort than it should have.

          Like, I feel like my points are being terribly made, but I really, REALLY don’t want to go talking about everything that happened to me or those I knew. Suffice it to say that I had both positive and negative examples in my life and leave it at that.

          Also, what I wouldn’t give for a private message system here. I wouldn’t mind chatting one on one about some of this, but in a public location like this, it’s just… ugh.

        18. BBCC

          Yeah, I’m sure there’s some senior freshman relationships that work out fine, but there are so so so many that are skeevy and flat out predatory.

        19. Adam Black

          I got to agree with this.

          I remember being a Freshman in HIgh School,
          and seeing how Senior Boys/Men( Often coddled Jocks) would successfully cruise Freshman Girls.

          It seemed very predatory even back then.

          The Girls may have been more emotionally mature than the Freshman Boys, But Not THAT Much. Not in a ‘ready for sex with High School Senior jocks’: who wanted an asymmeteric relationship with bright eyed Freshmen, instead of dating Girls their own age )
          It looked like a de-flowering contest. 14 year old Girls shouldnt be with 18 year old men.

          My High School had 5000 students when I was a Freshman. I am sure there was Plenty of Sophmore and Junior men available. ( and even more Mature Freshman out of a 1500 class body ) for girls that didnt like immature Freshmen and were ready to date.

        20. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          See, I didn’t ever notice that. Or, rather, I didn’t notice an increase in general skeeviness level in the freshman/senior relationships compared to the rest of the same-age relationships. Like 50% or more of highschool relationships came off as kind of skeevy and predatory, no matter the ages of those involved. At least that was my experience.
          Then again, both me and a friend had positive experiences with freshman/junior or freshman/senior relationships, so I fully admit to bias.

        21. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          @Adam Black: Yeah, that wasn’t my experience at all. BUT, then I only dated other members of the Band. I pretty much despised the jocks (particularly the football jocks) on principle. All of my friends were in Band, and all of the people we dated were in band. The dreamy guy I mentioned above? He was the student conductor of the marching band. Fucking hot, am I right?
          .. it may have also helped that I accidentally outed myself as a “lesbian” half way through my freshman year, so… yeah. (I am actually bi, but that wasn’t a concept that my highschool was ready for in the mid 90s).

        22. Yumi

          Yeah, I’m likely biased because someone I cared very much about was sexually abused in a high school relationship with an age difference. Creeper was a real creep with how he used age of consent laws, too.

          Just as a side note, for the record, I don’t think kids should be persecuted/prosecuted (either) for having consensual sex and all that; I do think there are ages that are too young, but not in a way that’s like, “I don’t like this, so it should be illegal” kind of way. And being able to get in trouble for nudes of yourself is messed up. I had people try to pressure me into things when I was underage, and I ended up not going along with it, but the idea that I could have gotten into legal trouble if I had? Bullshit.

        23. Petra

          True, although I guess I’d still advise cooling of jets in that situation. Not like a teenager would listen to me, lol.

        24. Wizard

          Many of these laws are based on the difference in age, rather than absolute age. So for instance, a 16yo and a 14yo would be legal, but not an 18yo and a 14yo.

      2. Agemegos

        It’s not a matter of getting sued. It’s a matter of criminal prosecution, a prison term, and being put on a sex offenders register for the rest of your life.

    5. Shiro

      It is but imo four years is way too big an age difference, in my state it’s two years

      1. Petra

        Yeah, I can agree there. I mean, hell, when you’re a teenager 2 years feels like a pretty big age gap. 4 years is going to get weird even if everyone involved is well intentioned and consenting. Really probably best to just cool your jets in that case.

      2. Inahc

        Yeah, IIRC it’s two years here too.

  12. Passchendaele

    *Rachel pulls out duct tape, tapes Faz’s mouth shut*

    1. Passchendaele

      In spite of all the creepy things here (and there are very many), I will always laugh at Rachel’s response, it is brilliant.

      1. Passchendaele

        ALSO, in a day, I will have been commenting on here for a year.

        I feel so *old*. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

  13. Keulen

    Wait, so in the Dumbiverse Faz and Amber have different fathers? Am I reading that right?

    1. Yumi

      I mean, yeah, that’s why he’s her step-brother.

      1. Zatar

        I thought his mother was the one who was different. I had assumed Amber’s dad was the connection.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Sharing one blood parent is half-siblings. Step siblings don’t share either biological parent, and become siblings because one parent remarries.

          After Stacy left Blaine, he married Faz’s mother.

      2. Keulen

        I was assuming they had different mothers and the same dad, like in the Walkyverse.

        1. Yumi

          My thing is, that would make him her half-brother, not her step-brother. I can see where it’d be confusing being hung up on other-verse relationships, but Willis has stated that those didn’t carry over to this strip.

      3. Wraithy2773

        But why does the Amber’s father have custody of a son that’s not his? And since Faz is younger than Amber…

        …did Amber’s mom cheat on her father, long before they got a divorce? I’m puzzled over the timeline here…

        1. Yumi

          …What?

          Amber’s mom, as far as we know, did not cheat on Amber’s father. Amber’s mom is not Faz’s mom.

          The simple, logical timeline goes like Amber’s mom and dad got divorced -> Amber’s dad married someone with a kid (Faz).
          That could be missing details and technicalities and whatnot, but that seems to be the basics of it.

        2. Wraithy2773

          But that doesn’t make them step-siblings, at least as I understand it. That requires them to be both children to people that are married together.

          The only way the timeline works (at least, as I can figure it) is:

          – Blaine and Mallory have Amber

          – Blaine gets married to a woman that had Faz from a previous relationship

          – That woman dies or they divorce or something, but Blaine gets custody of Faz

          – Blaine and Mallory get married together

          It’s not impossible, but it’s… not common.

        3. BBCC

          That is absolutely not how step siblings work.

          Step siblings are children your parent gains in a new marriage.

          Case in point:

          – Blaine and Stacey marry and have Amber

          – Blaine and Stacey divorce

          – Blaine marries a woman who had Faz in a previous relationship.

          Bam. Faz is now her step brother.

        4. Kamino Neko

          While the scenario you posit, if I am reading it correctly, does lead to step siblings it’s a ridiculously over-complicated scenario (thus my being unsure if I’ve read it correctly), and very much not the usual way of ending up with step siblings.

          The most common scenario is the one BBCC lays out.

          To genericise it a bit:

          Alice and Bob have a child, Xenia.
          Chuck and Daisy also have a child, Zack.
          Alice/Bob and Chuck/Daisy break up.
          Alice and Chuck marry.
          Thus Xenia and Zack become step siblings.

        5. MM

          Doesn’t seem that confusing to me. Blaine and Amber’s mom gets divorced; Blaine meets Faz’s mom; Blaine becomes Faz’s stepfather. As for custody, we don’t know exactly how that works; just that Faz supposed to be with Blaine today.

        6. MM

          Wow. My grammar, on the other hand, is totally mixed up.

        7. Wraithy2773

          But how does that make them step-siblings? Am I just totally misunderstanding what “Step-siblings” means?

        8. MM

          I think you must be. Step-relative means you’re related to someone by marriage, not biology.

        9. Agemegos

          It might be helpful to look up “stepbrother” in Wiktionary:

          stepbrother (plural stepbrothers)
          1. The son of one’s stepparent who is not the son of either of one’s biological parents.
          2. The stepson of one’s parent who is not one’s half-brother.

        10. No Name

          Amber’s father has “custody” of a child that isn’t his because he married the child’s mother. And presumably is still married to said mother.

          Stacy has nothing to do with Faz.

  14. Undrave

    I blame Faz on Michael Bay. I bet he’s Faz’ real dad!

    1. Tacos

      I guess that explains the robo-scrotum and Dick-bot, the blender guy from RotF.

  15. Ivy

    That is two years too young and too long of an age range for a Romeo and Juliet law.
    Tf, Indiana?

    1. TheKelliestKelly

      I don’t think it’s THAT out of the question. Three years might be a little better, but a high school freshman who’s still 14 and high-school senior who already had their birthday isn’t that scuzzy of a relationship.

      Also, this is the one Indiana lawyer that could potentially protect queer kids. There are definitely queer 18 year olds in jail for fooling around with their queer 16 year old partners in other states and this law prevents that

      1. Liliet

        yeah 3 or 2 years still sounds better tho

    2. thejeff

      Arguably too long an age range, but it’s hard to argue it’s too young. 14 and 15 year olds are going to have sex. With each other, even if not with older people. Don’t prosecute them for it.

  16. 3oranges

    Oh look, the lines have all been crossed, and simply calling security is not the least bit unwarranted.

  17. Rosicrucian

    Oh… oh dear.

    Rachel is about to destroy Faz.

  18. Kitschensyngk

    DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY YOU LET THIS HAPPEN

  19. Dave M

    I hereby petition we lock Robin & Faz in a room together and see if they can learn that being in the presence of a self centred jerk with no respect for other peoples boundaries is quite horrible. And mayhaps gain a glimmer of self awareness as to how annoying and tiresome they can be sometimes? Or they could kill each other. Either way, we don’t have to deal with their fecal personalities. Win Win.

    1. Angel H.

      Make it Mary and Faz and you’ve got ny vote!

      1. AutobotDen

        Where’s an upvote button when you need it?

  20. kkiten

    wait what? so her dad….
    that’s not her dad’s child?
    what??

    no, no, wait it’s his step dad, so it’s… Blaine’s wife’s child from another marriage?

    Someone, please, clear this up I’m confuse.

    1. Keulen

      I’m having the same confusion. I thought it’d be like in the Walkyverse where Blaine is their dad and they have different moms. Now I’m getting confused trying to figure out how Amber and Faz are related in the Dumbiverse.

      1. Yumi

        Blood relation? None. Family ties, he’s her step-brother. He’s Blaine’s step-kid.

    2. Yumi

      He’s her step-brother, so no, they don’t share a dad. The logical explanation would be that Blaine married someone who had a child (Faz).

    3. Nono

      Blaine remarried after the divorce with Stacy. That woman already had another child, Faz.

      At least, that’s my interpretation.

    4. Kamino Neko

      Yes, you are correct. Faz’s mom had him with a prior partner, and he became Blaine’s stepson when Blaine married his mother, after Stacy left him.

  21. Shiro

    I…hm. I can’t decide if I find this version of Faz more skin-crawly than Shortpacked!Faz. Yuck.

    1. geno

      Shortpacked Faz wanted to sleep with Amber even after finding out about them being blood siblings. He wins by a mile. This Faz is still a kid despite his issues.

      1. thejeff

        I thought he renounced that (and burned his Amber pillow) when he found out. Am I misremembering? Was that some other incident?

        1. BBCC

          No, that’s when he backed off Amber, iirc.

      2. Kamino Neko

        Shortpacked! Faz has the same advantage as Shortpacked! Mike and Shortpacked! Robin – he lives in a zanier universe, thus can get away with more before crossing from ‘comedic sociopath’ to just plain ‘sociopath’.

  22. Badeyes

    The most frightening thing is that on a campus that size the odds are in his favor to eventually find someone willing.

  23. Scoops

    What are the correct lessons to learn from the Transformers films?

    1. Tacos

      Explosions?

      1. EvilMidnightLurker

        No, that’s the only question Mr. Torgue has for us.

        1. Dave M

          IF EXPLOSIONS ARE NOT THE ANSWER, THEN MR TORGUE THINKS YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS! (Vocalised guitar riff)

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Google “lindsay ellis” “the whole plate”. You may find the answers you seek.

    3. Kamino Neko

      ‘Face collection is fun.’

  24. DailyBrad

    Is Joe’s redemption with people going to be “At least he’s not Faz”?

    1. Some1

      What if Joe’s redemption ends up keeping Faz from becoming like him, or worse? It would make sense, Joe started off as a womanizing pig and now is tasked with keeping someone younger than him from making the same mistake.

      1. Kamino Neko

        But Faz is already at least as bad as Joe – Joe, at least doesn’t just walk into the women’s shower, and I don’t think there’s a significant difference in their ‘yes, you do want to have sex with me’ strategies. If Joe redeeming himself and Faz’s behavior interact at all, it’ll probably be by seeing his own behavior in Faz’s.

        1. thejeff

          Though Faz, creepy though he is, has the advantage of being younger. More of his behavior can be blamed on immaturity.

        2. Kamino Neko

          This is true.

    2. Fart Captor

      Joe’s redemption is Joe finally learning what was wrong about his behavior and working to better himself.

      Not being Faz only means there’s less work for him to do

  25. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

    I god I’ve missed this rotten son of a bongo! He’s like junk food I know he’s terrible but I love him anyway

    1. Some1

      I feel the same way, and also that a lot of people take this comic way to seriously. It’s a comic on the internet, calm the fuck down.

      1. Yumi

        That’s kind of an interesting comment, considering yesterday.

        1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          What was yesterday?

        2. Some1

          Yesterday was when I essentially called half the posters jag offs for being unoriginal and failing to calm the fuck down before posting. It was a long time coming meltdown that summarized my frustrations both here and my own personal failures. I’m going to talk to somebody.

        3. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

          Ahh I see. Thanks for the explanation

  26. Some1

    Okay, lets get some basic facts out of the way. A half brother is when your biological father or mother procreate with someone who is not your biological mother and father, and create a sibling of yours. A step brother is when your mother or father divorce and remarry, making any children of their new spouses culturally your siblings. In the Walkyverse! Faz was Amber’s younger half brother. In this universe he is her step brother, they aren’t related.

    1. Yumi

      Wheeee.
      I get that the Walkyverse thing makes for confusion for people who have read it, but I’m kind of baffled by people not understanding what a step-sibling is.

      1. Keulen

        I understand what a step-sibling is, but I got super confused because I assumed Amber and Faz would be half-siblings in both universes. I didn’t know Willis had decided to change that in the Dumbiverse until today.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Faz was explicitly referred to as Amber’s step brother in his first appearance, though.

  27. Derek

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand at all whether Faz’s dialogue implies he’s 13 or 15

    1. Commentary Ver.2.72

      Assuming the age of consent in Indiana is 16, him reaching said age in two weeks time would place him at 15. Of course, where I live it’s 18, there are no romeo and Juliette laws, and the official policy on anyone younger having sex is persecute the other party, even if neither involved party is of the age of consent, leading to very confusing “persecute both sides” deals. Because, you know, neither involved party consented. I… don’t quite get how that one works.

    2. Liliet

      either 13, 15 or 17; thanks for clearing that up, Willis XD

  28. Saaaam

    This Faz won’t be a sexual predator, nope.

  29. JetstreamGW

    Did I miss something in one of the Transformers films I haven’t watched?

    I quit after Dark of the Moon. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

    1. Tacos

      Yeah in the 4th one there’s an incredibly awkward scene that goes on for like 10 minutes where the female lead’s boyfriend is talking with the father about how it’s totally legal that he can have sex with a 17 year old when he’s like 20.

    2. Rukdug

      In the fourth movie the daughter of Mark Wahlberg’s character is 17 and going to be heading off to college while he boyfriend is 18 or older and her boyfriend pulls out a couple of Texas’s “Romeo and Juliet” law to explain to Mark Wahlberg’s character why it is perfectly legal for the two of them to be having sex even though the daughter is below the legal age of consent. The whole scene is weird, gross, and completely unnecessary because the daughter could have just been made 18 because she’s headed off to college, but nope Michael Bay wanted to bring attention to the Texan Romeo and Juliet law for some reason.

      1. Yumi

        But the age of consent in Texas is 17…

    3. 3oranges

      That means that unlike Faz, you learned the right lesson from the Transformers films! 😉

  30. Rukdug

    The age of consent in Indiana is 16? That’s, that’s not right. That’s gross. That’s in place only to satisfy some middle-aged or old-aged lawmaker can indulge in some sort of perverted high school girl fantasy isn’t it? It’s the only reason I can think of. Goddamit US.

    1. BBCC

      More like so teenagers aren’t arrested for fooling around with other teenagers.

      1. Rukdug

        That I can understand, but the fact that it makes a “consenting relationship” between a 16 year old and a 30 year old legal skeeves me the he’ll out.

        1. BBCC

          Yeaahhhhh, that’s where it gets gross.

        2. Tacos

          But that’s not how Romeo and Juliet laws work. There’s an age range to them. Mind that I think some age ranges are too huge.

        3. Yumi

          Yeah, but we’re not talking about Romeo and Juliet laws in this thread. Just regular age of consent, which in some (many) states is below 18.

        4. Tacos

          Oh I thought we were. Nevermind then.

    2. Nono

      I’m pretty sure age of consent is 16 in a lot of places, actually.

      1. Rukdug

        I have never heard this. As far as I know, I could have sworn the age of consent in the US was 18 years of age.

        1. Nono

          Outside the US. When you consider worldwide, I believe 16 is the norm, rather than 18. Just like how most places have drinking age as 18 rather than 21.

        2. Coma

          You’d be surprised. Over here (somewhere in the middle of Europe), overall age of consent is 14 (exactly to protect teenagers, as has been discussed earlier). The age gap included in the law is 3 years. (Though with 14 they’re still considered minors, and with 16 not anymore, as you’re even allowed to vote here at 16).

          Plus if one of the parties of a relationship is younger than 16, it CAN be punishable, if that party is deemed to not have been mature enough for the act (as in, e.g. was forced into it or other horrible stuff like that – at least I hope that’s what it’s for).

          It even includes things like sexting and stuff (“sexual relationship over computer systems” and generally states that it’s illegal to do that to anyone below 14 (no matter if you’re the same age or much older).

        3. Yumi

          Hahaha, no. In fact, the majority of states (because age of consent varies by state) have the age of consent under 18. Plenty of people seem to miss that though (which, kinda good) because of the influence of media which is largely produced in California with it’s 18 age of consent.

        4. Rukdug

          ‘Kay that explains a lot. Because I live in California so that’s always been the norm to me.

        5. drs

          Age of consent is state law and varies by state.

          Though taking a minor across state lines falls under federal law, which can come down on you if done to take advantage of another state’s laws. “Child porn” is also federal with 18 year limit, meaning 17 year old can be (and have been) convicted of felonies, and registered for life as sex offenders, for sending naked pictures of themselves to each other.

        6. Agemegos

          Here’s an article in Wikipedia about ages of consent in North America, with a colour-coded map. In Canada it is sixteen in every province. In the USA it is 16, 17, or 18 according to state.

        7. Rukdug

          I want to thank you for providing that map.

        8. BBCC

          In Canada it’s sixteen and our close in age rules work like this

          – 12 and 13 year olds can consent to someone up to two years (so a 14 or 15 year old)

          – 14 and 15 year olds can consent to someone up to five years (so a 19 or 20 year old – as a point of reference, at least where I live, we have something called a victory lap where someone who has graduated can take up to two extra years to get more credits – lots of special education plans also take an extra two years. So, theoretically, they could still be high schoolers at this point).

          I’m pretty sure this is to keep people in the same school or a year older from being arrested but, yeah, deep deep concerns about this.

        9. BBCC

          Correction: It’s anybody less than two years for the first one and less than five years for the last one.

      2. Agemegos

        Two seventeen-year-olds fool around a bit and both end up convicted of paedophilia? An eighteen-year-old bonks her boyfriend a few days before his eighteenth birthday and gets put on a sex offenders register?

        Lots of us were doing a bit of this and that at sixteen and seventeen. It shouldn’t be criminal.

        1. Rukdug

          I responded in another comment lower that I don’t think that should be the case but there has to be a better way than opening up that loophole for creeps. That’s why I am in favor of some form of Romeo and Juliet style law because I can’t think of a better way to keep that from happening. I don’t want teens to get in legal trouble for consensually fooling around, but I don’t want someone in their late twenties and above to legally have sex with a teenager.

        2. Nono

          My two cents:

          First off, I’d just be a bit careful about implying that places where the age of consent is 16 are doing it ‘grosser’ or something.

          Also, there’s a bit of technicality to the laws because there needs to be some in place, and at the same time how much they actually stop people from doing something is debatable. If the age of consent was lowered to 16 in California I doubt every 16 year old is gonna immediately go out and have sex, just like how I’m sure not everyone gets laid at 18. Similarly, if some 40 year old really wants to sex up a teenager, I don’t think they care THAT much whether or not they’re 16 or 18.

          Because the US is so big and so state-divided it’s very difficult to implement blanket laws to cover every scenario, and at the same time going through every consensual accusation case-by-case would take extraordinary amounts of manpower.

          There’s no easy solution, honestly.

    3. drs

      Half the states of the US have 16 as an age; 18 is a minority, though one of them is California.

      Most other rich/developed/First World countries have an age of consent between 14 and 16.

      1. Rukdug

        That just…uurrhhgg. That just makes my skin crawl. Because I just know there are probably sickos in their 30s using that to have sex with high schoolers.
        …
        I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. I don’t want to be a part of this species anymore for that matter.

        1. Vukodlak

          Looking up age of consent laws in other countries is often incomplete information. As it might leave out context such as 14 if both participants are under 18. Or in Japan the national age of consent is 13, but all local laws put it at 16 or 18. So the national law is irrelevant.

      2. Agemegos

        The exceptions are Ireland (17), and if you count them as “developed” Turkey (18) and Argentina (13). And in Australia, Tasmania and South Australia (both 17).

        {In New South Wales, where I live, the age of consent is 18 with a person who is in a position of authority over you, such as a teacher. A teacher at my old school has just been sent to prison for two years for having sex with a seventeen-year-old boy because she was his English teacher.}

        1. Yumi

          The position of authority thing is a good point; where I live, the age of consent is 16, but there’s still a “position of authority” clause that makes it 18, which might be the case for a lot of other US states with under-18 age of consent laws, I’m not sure.

        2. BBCC

          Same in Canada.

      3. Agemegos

        Oh, and Japan, where one law says the age of consent is thirteen and another says it is eighteen.

        South Korea: thirteen.

        1. Rukdug

          I think the Japan situation is that it’s 13 at the national level but most prefecture set it at 18 with certain exceptions for cases were it’s two individuals below 18. That one I know because someone had said that was the case and I was curios. Sidenote: why same sex relationships are not illegal in Japan, they do not have any legal protections or legal recognitions outside of some areas of Tokyo that recently started to give legal recognition to same sex partners.

    4. Commentary Ver.2.72

      I live in an area where it’s 18, and the official policy on underage sex between 2 minors is “they both committed statutory rape” and then you persecute both sides. Clearly this is much better.

      1. Rukdug

        …seriously? I’ve just…been living in complete ignorance of the inner workings of the legal system. That’s just as bad. I just…Is there seriously no way to fix the legal system to keep what you just described from happening while also keeping creepy adults from abusing legal loopholes?

        1. drs

          Well, Romeo and Juliet laws were an attempt to do just that: exempt teens from fooling around while keeping much older adults off.

          But, looking at Europe, the only countries with an age higher than 16 are Ireland at 17, and Turkey at 18. Italy, Germany, Austria, 14. France, Sweden, 15. Netherlands, Norway, 16. There are a lot of liberal and relatively egalitarian countries that don’t agree with 18 as the obvious age.

        2. drs

          Canada is 16. So are Massachusetts and Washington state and Minnesota. NY and IL are 17. So if you’re trying to think “enlightened California, backwards Indiana”, factor those in.

        3. BBCC

          Canada is sixteen with two different close in age exemptions which I listed above.

        4. Rukdug

          It’s not even that I’m thinking that it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it. It’s this knee jerk reaction where my instant assumption is “how are you supposed to stop pervs from preying on young people if you have low age of consent laws” mindset combined with knowing people who were victims of that sort of thing.

        5. Nono

          You’re allowed to feel that way. And to be fair, when you’re a teenager, a couple of years does make a huge difference. Maturity isn’t exactly a magic switch though; there are plenty of mature 16-year olds and immature 30 year olds. There’s still a bit of skeeviness when there’s a big age gap, but the roots of that problem lie in much more than a couple of years’ difference in the ages of consent.

        6. Rukdug

          Yeah, I know the maturity thing all too well. I just get so frustrated when it seems like something should be easy to fix but the solution ends up screwing up other people.

        7. Nono

          The main view I can offer is that laws are guidelines meant to protect people, not hurt or validate them. The best we can do is fill in the gaps along the way. Look out for others, protect them, and keep an open mind. There will always be human scum, just as much there will always be people who are willing to go the extra mile to protect the people they’d prey upon.

        8. drs

          IMO that’s part of the problem: people approach the issue with knee-jerk gut reactions. “What I’m used to is right and anything else is Wrong ew ew ew, why are you making me even think about this.”

          But we’re imposing arbitrary lines (ages) on complicated issues (maturity and consent), and if you find yourself on the wrong side of an arbitrary line you get not a fine or a warning misdemeanor but your life ruined. And places do things differently without, AFAIK, turning into hellholes of sexual predation.

          (Ahem. Two states with 18 age? Idaho and Utah. Probably also the states with the most of the polygynous offshoot Mormons, “sister-wives” and all.)

        9. Rukdug

          I think your right to be honest. I don’t want people to have their lives ruined for an honest mistake or an action that doesn’t really harm anyone but my own personal experience has been knowing people who were victimized because of use of skeevy loopholes, so I always forget to look at the other side. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to express some puritan “sex is evil and wrong when not committed by adults” outlook, but looking back at my initial comment…it is very judgemental and definitely gives that impression. God I wish we had an edit feature.

        10. Agemegos

          Well, I think that if you give teenagers the effectual power to say “no” they can’t so easily be preyed upon — except by methods such as force, threats, abduction, deceit, impersonation etc. that are criminal regardless of age difference.

          That means giving kids proper sex education and believing them (or at least taking them seriously) when they report misconduct. It probably means being less secretive and shame-ridden by sex, and so it’s probably hard.

          An eighteen-year-old courting a fourteen-year old is pretty skeevy (as you young people seem to call it). But from my point of view it is also pretty damned skeevy for a rich middle-aged 55-year-old divorcé to put the moves on a recent graduate of 22. But we don’t deal with that by supposing that a 22-year-old doesn’t know his or her own mind.

          I think what we ought to do is perhaps to bring it about that sixteen-year-olds do know their own minds, and also to start fixing up the really serious problems that Anglophone society has with respecting consent.

        11. drs

          Doesn’t help that you’re speaking with a Mary avatar. :p

    5. Yumi

      Side note: Once when I was in high school, I was trying to explain that the age of consent was 16 to these girls who just….wouldn’t believe me. Like, we were all 17, and one girl said her mom would threaten to call the police on her 19 year old boyfriend. And I was like, “But the age of consent is 16.” And I was met with “no it’s not” and “that doesn’t apply here.” And I tried to explain the law and the clauses and exceptions (because I knew…way too much about age of consent laws when I was in high school), and I was still met with the refusal of anything I said.

      Ultimately I was like, “Okay, if you want to believe that your mom could call the police on your boyfriend, you keep on believing that, I guess. :|”

      1. Swissaboo

        Her mom probably didn’t know and very well WOULD call the police on her boyfriend

        1. Yumi

          Yeah, but my point in that conversation was that she could explain to her mom that her threat was invalid or at least recognize that the consequences wouldn’t be what she was imagining.

    6. Adam Black

      Age of consent in majority places in the USA ( and Canada ) is 16 .
      Its as as much to protect sexually active teen-agers from unjust prosecution.

      But These romeo and Juliet laws are generally only for heterosexual couples.

      But an adult can be prosecuted under other laws for creeping on kids under 18. If You cross a state line, you buy kids expensive gifts , you use the mail or internet to meet kids, Pictures; if the adult is an authority figure like a teacher…

      Whats Creepy is widespread outdated childmarriage laws in USA which allow middleaged adults to marry 14 years to skip age of consent laws.

      27 States have No minimum age to marry!
      https://www.cbsnews.com/news/child-marriage-in-the-u-s-surprisingly-widespread .

      1. Rukdug

        ….I feel very sick now. This is horrifying.

      2. Swissaboo

        Technically it’s JUST if you cross a state line to avoid local law, if I’m reading it right if you cross from a state where the age of consent is seventeen to another state where the age of consent is seventeen, there’d be no crime (assume the person is question is, in fact, seventeen.)

      3. Tarmaniel

        Yeah, US marriage laws are hilarious. Just ask Doug Hutchison or Roy Moore.

        1. David DeLaney

          Or Jerry Lee Lewis, the former poster child.

          –Dave, great balls on fire!

      4. thejeff

        Most of the Romeo and Juliet laws I’m aware of don’t specify gender and thus should apply to same sex couples as well as heterosexual ones.

    7. CJ

      For a long time, age of consent in Germany differed for hetero (14 or 16) and male homosexual sex (18). This was changed to 16 for all some years ago. But things happening consensual between two people under age of consent are not procecutable.
      If someone is in a position of authority over you, that person will get in trouble even when you are of age.

      Before someone mentioned US parents using age of consent laws to prosecute the unwanted partners of their children, I always though those “but if 1 is 15 and the other is 18 and they are so in love stories” a story told by predators to avoid age of consent laws at all. Never expected parents to be stupid enough to put their teens to the courts to end unwanted relationships and judges not throwing stuff like that out.
      But as always, if you have to make laws that put into words all details of what is meant, you get crazy laws that need to specify every damn thing, because common sense doesn’t come into it.
      If their are both the same age and want it, it’s ok.
      If one is 12 and the other is 16, ugh, rarely ok. Might be individual cases were it is, but one in a million.
      One is 15 and the other 17? Not a problem.
      One is 15 and the other just turned 18. And they have been going out for some time? Not a problem.
      One is 14, and the other is 19? Not really ok, specially if they just met.
      One is 15 and the other 30? Not ok.

      1. Agemegos

        Although sometimes it is parents who make complaints to the police that start the ball rolling on prosecutions for statutory rape, it is not the parents who prosecute: professional prosecutors employed by the state do that (usually assistant district attorneys). A complaint by the parents is not required. The permission of the parents is not required. Legally, the parents are not able to stop the prosecution and neither is the victim.

        1. drs

          Used to be different in the Netherlands: 16 was the full age of consent, but 12+ could only be prosecuted if the minor or parents brought a complaint, the prosecutor couldn’t just barge in.

        2. CJ

          That is way beyond crazy. The district attorney should go procecute actual criminal acts, not consensual sexual activities between teens (or adults).

        3. Agemegos

          The district attorney is going to prosecute what gets votes (and campaign donations). “Tough on sex criminals” works. Tough on poor and minority sex-criminals works really well. Tough on poor minority sex criminals with rich white victims or “victims” works like a charm.

        4. CJ

          Don’t get me started on elected law officials and independent application of law.

  31. Ferdinand Rosenthal

    FUCKING WOW, FAZ

  32. Wraithy2773

    Okay, so, wait.

    Faz and Amber have different fathers but the same mother, and Amber is older than Faz. But Asshole!Father has custody of Faz while Amber’s mother has/had custody of Amber.

    What timeline makes that work? This sounds like a story that breaks for intermission…

    1. Agemegos

      Nope. They are step-siblings, not half-siblings. Amber’s father married Faz’s mother after leaving Amber’s mother.

      1. Wraithy2773

        No, she’s saying that Blaine is Faz’s step-dad in panel 2.

        1. Agemegos

          Right. Step dad. Married to Faz’s mother. Faz’s father is a completely different person mentioned in panel 1.

          Amber’s dad is Faz’s step-dad, i.e. an unrelated person married to his mother.

        2. Wraithy2773

          I think my confusion is about Amber and Faz being step-siblings. Definition confusion, prolly…

        3. Needfuldoer

          Right. They’re step-siblings because Blaine married Faz’s mother long after both kids were born.

          Faz and Amber are not blood relatives.

        4. Agemegos

          Step-siblings are people who are not related to each other, but a parent of each is married to a parent of the other.

          A stepmother is a woman who is not your mother but who is married to your father. A stepfather is a man who is not your father but who is married to you your mother. Step-siblings are people who are the children of your step-parent but not of either of your parents.

    2. Some1

      NO! Faz and Amber are step siblings. They aren’t related. Faz’s mother had him with some deadbeat (based on Faz comments about him) and they later separated, or perhaps Faz’ biological father left. Later, Blaine and Stacy divorced and Blaine married Faz’s biological mother and as such is Amber’s step brother (because apparently both woman are terrible at choosing husbands)

      1. Wraithy2773

        Okay, Amber’s mother isn’t Faz’s mother.

        But… I’m still confused on the timeline here, because how did he become Amber’s step-sibling, when he’s younger than Amber, Amber’s parents were married until they weren’t… did they remarry at some point bringing Faz along or something?

        1. Agemegos

          Here is the sequence:

          1. Amber’s mother marries Amber’s father.

          2. Faz’s mother marries Faz’s father.

          3. Amber is born.

          4. Faz is born.

          5. Amber’s parents divorce.

          6. Faz’s parents divorce.

          7. Amber’s father marries Faz’s mother, and thus becomes Faz’s step-father.

        2. geno

          You should probably google what a step-sibling is, because you are describing something totally different.

      2. Cass

        Though given Blaine’s Blaineness, and the fact that Amber and Faz still have matching hair highlights, I wouldn’t be surprised if they secretly still are half-siblings and just don’t realize it. Wouldn’t be surprising if he immediately remarried someone he already had on the side so he still has someone to lord over.

  33. valis_kr3

    Going to take a minute read the comments on this thread about the Romeo and Juliet law. I recently had a conversation about legal age at the comic store and on cue a creep ass came out of nowhere to defend what the legal age really is and why it’s okay to molest a teenager.

    1. ZerglingOne

      Here’s what I think…having been in the situation personally. And you may not agree, but I’ll try to explain.

      When I was 18, I met a 14 year old who would go on to be my first girlfriend. I did not know initially that she was 14, as she was 5’0″ and never actually grew beyond that point. She was just this short girl that I met one day and we hit it off super well.

      The age thing didn’t even come up until like…3 months later when we were fully dating and everything when she felt all guilty for not telling me. But this was my first girlfriend and I told her I’d wait (we didn’t) until she was 18 before we did anything because I liked her that much.

      Ultimately we ended up losing our virginity together but broke up like 2 years later because our relationship was harming her performance in school.

      I’m not saying what I did was right, but those laws exist for a reason, and while it lasted we certainly liked/loved each other in more than just a sexual way, so I’m always torn when this kind of thing comes up. I find it hard to defend as the father of a girl that might be in the situation one day, but I also find it extremely hard to say that going from 14 to 18 makes you magically able to consent to sex, and magically takes the ability to legally fool around with someone you were legally fooling around with a few days further.

      It’s not an easy situation :/

      1. ZerglingOne

        Not further… earlier*

  34. Architex

    Birthdays all over the place!

  35. inspector Whatevsman

    Faz just takin things to a whole new level of creepy

    1. Reltzik

      Whenever has he not?

  36. Rodimiss

    I hate that I knew, when I went to check the hovertext, that it was going to be about that scene from Age of Extinction.

    Like of course it was because it’s Willis, and Transformers, but god I hate Michael Bay.

    1. tim gueguen

      Michael Bay probably hates Michael Bay.

  37. nothri

    You know, Willis, I appreciate all the effort you went to in order to give Amazigirl a satisfying origin story, but I feel like “Has lived with Faz all her adult life” would have been ample explanation for a pathological need to put on a mask and punch people in the face.

    1. thejeff

      Except she likely hasn’t – I don’t believe Blaine ever had custody of her after the divorce. She would only have met Faz on visits.

    2. geno

      She met Faz in this comic dude. You can literally click on his name, and read the comic where it happened

      1. Yumi

        She certainly hasn’t lived with Faz for any extended period, but met him in this comic? What?

        1. David DeLaney

          “Met him in a previous DoA strip, in this webcomic”, not “met him in this chapter of this webcomic” or “met him in this very strip”.

          –Dave

        2. Yumi

          Yeah, I got that, it was pretty clear. My questioning stands.

        3. Kamino Neko

          Yeah, I don’t see anything that suggests that Warning was their first meeting. (Nothing that says it wasn’t, either, of course. It’s not possible to say definitively one way or the other.)

      2. Arian

        I don’t think that comic was their first meeting. In character, Faz announced himself that way just because he’s Faz. Out of character, it was notification to anyone who knew Faz and Amber were half-siblings in Shortpacked that in DoA Faz is not Blaine’s son but his stepson.

  38. Yumi

    I’m going to cry over people not understanding what step-siblings are.

  39. Some1

    I’m gonna do my own break down of the comic.

    Panel 1: Amber says “My Dad” in bold, this implies that she is worried about abuse that Faz will suffer at the hands of Blaine.

    Faz replies with: “father does not care what I do” thinking of his biological father, this is important because it tells us that when someone asks about his father Faz thinks of his biological dad automatically, and that his dad is probably distant.

    And now I’m going to just discuss Faz in general. Faz is obsessed with having sex, now in Shortpacked! we could just view this as a joke because that was primarily a comedy. But in Dumbing of Age we have to actually figure our why Faz would be so obsessed with sex, and I think I might have figured it out.

    Blaine wanted Amber to become violent, he pushed her and pushed her and was proud when she hurt people. However, he probably wouldn’t have mocked her for virginity because she is female and Blaine is the kind of person who would sooner beat his daughter for having sex then encourage it. Faz however is male, with the two biggest male influences in his entire life having been a deadbeat and an abuser, both of which probably act like a man who hasn’t had sex is worthless. So Faz is trying to prove his worth.

    1. MM

      Or Faz’s dad is also immature and sex-obsessed, and he thinks this is just how things are supposed to work.

    2. Liliet

      I assumed Faz was indeed referring to Blaine, and truthfully reported to Amber that his brand of abuse was neglect, not active violence. Amber just didn’t get it.

      1. Heatth

        That is what I figured out as well. In fact, during the parents weekend Blaine paid so little attention to Faz that he simply forgot about his son when he was going away.

  40. Bicycle Bill

    I don’t know what gives me the biggest feelings of “EEEEEeeeewwww” —
    the fact that there is such a law, the fact that Willis made reference to it, or the fact that the state of Indiana felt the need/found it necessary to have such a law in the first place.

    1. Agemegos

      The law is so that kids who fool around together can’t be sent to prison for each raping the other.

      1. Agemegos

        And be put on a sex offenders register for the rest of their lives as paedophiles.

    2. egg

      Bunch of people up the comment stream have been talking about how Romeo and Juliet laws are necessary to keep teenagers from getting convicted of statutory rape for having consensual sex with each other, but four years does seem like A Bit Fucking Much for a fourteen-year-old.

      1. Aletheia

        Eh, yes and no. On one hand, yeah, it does seem like a lot. On the other hand, that’s the difference between a freshman and senior in high school; it’s squicky to think about, but it’s not entirely unheard of.

        1. egg

          Yeah I should probably differentiate between “that seems like a bit fucking much to me” and “i think there is an objective line where age gaps become predatory (it is here).” But I also don’t think “it’s not entirely unheard of” is a good uhh defense of that? I’m actually a lot more comfortable with laws like this doing 2 or 3 years rather than 4 specifically *because* I remember skeevy seniors in high school going after freshmen because they were inexperienced, and going “we’re both in high school so it’s Fine and Normal :)” when they did it.

  41. ninjazaku

    So, like, can we just feed this version of Faz to lions like we did the last one?

    1. Some1

      1. That didn’t work the first time.

      2. Amber would probably be upset.

      3. Being pervy is not a capital offense.

      4. Its unfair to the lions, who most likely have a very specific diet based around being as close to their natural habitat as possible.

  42. KSClaw

    I’m just gonna say that if this is some kind of weird defense mechanism that Faz has made for himself, it’s not a veey healthy one.

    1. Some1

      Both Amber and Faz have really terrible defense mechanism. Amber’s is just a more realistic variation of The Iron Sociopath from SMBC

      https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2666

      1. KSClaw

        I was only focusing on Faz because we already know Amber needs help. The question is if Faz needs some form of help, but can only communicate in ‘skincrawling creep’ language. Or if he’s a gross little monster we would prefer leaving *now*.

  43. Eldritch Gentleman

    Damn Faz is like a Hyper Creepy version of Joe. Joe was bad but Faz is WORSE.

  44. LooksLikeDaniel

    Romeo Montague was a creep and a punk. Just sayin.

    1. BBCC

      Serious question: How old was he supposed to be? I was taught he was fifteen. Since Juliet was almost 14 (like, a couple weeks away) I didn’t think it was too bad, but I keep seeing different things.

      1. Yumi

        I was taught he was 15 too, but I don’t think it was ever really indicated in a definite way in the play itself.

      2. Aletheia

        Huh. I was always taught that he was in the 17-20 years age range. Shakespeare (and the play that he took the story from, where Juliet was originally 16 instead of Shakespeare’s 13) never actually defined his age beyond him being a few years older than Juliet.

        1. ischemgeek

          Many of the social indicators place Romeo as fairly young. He’s in university, for one – which was something wealthy young men finished up with younger back then (he could have started at a university as young as age 14 in those days). He’s old enough to go carousing, but young enough not to have any major responsibilities. He’s old enough that he is starting to be pressured by his parents to settle down, young enough that they still turn a blind eye to his youthful dalliances – it’s implied heavily that he’s had at least one, probably more, sexual flings in his past. He’s immature and overwrought, prone to great fits of theatrical despair, and like Juliet, he’s still inexperienced enough to mistake infatuation with love. Finally, he’s too young to really remember any of the recently-referenced major events that have contributed to the blood feud between the Montagues and the Capulets. All of that together to me places him somewhere in the 16-20 age range. If he were older than that, he’d have more responsibilities – as his father would be grooming him to lead the household – and he’d be more jaded. If he were younger, his family would probably not yet let him go around with a sword and he probably wouldn’t be in university yet.

    2. CJ

      I don’t think Shakespeare made an effort to fix his age. It can have been anything between 15 and 35 I suppose.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      Courtesy of The Doubleclicks’ “Will They or Won’t They?”:

      “You and I are kinda like
      Romeo and Juliet
      In that I’m romantic and sweet, and you’re an immature loser
      With friends who are unreasonably violent”

  45. BenRG

    I’ve suddenly realised that Faz is actually a lot like Howie; he’s just more up-front about it.

    I guess that I need to congratulate Willis on finding a plausible way to explain Faz’s behaviour in the slightly-more-real-world of the Dumbingverse. Specifically: He’s a horny teen with low self-esteem due to the identity of his step-father (and the fact that he even needs one).

    1. Kamino Neko

      That last parenthetical is a touch eyebrow-raising.

      Also, unless this was a ‘second family’ thing before Blaine and Stacy divorced (unlikely, given how involved in Amber’s life he’s unfortunately been shown to be), most of the blame for how Faz turned out falls on his mother and/or biological father – Blaine wasn’t involved with his formative years.

  46. Smiling Cat

    Oh my god, that scene. All that character had to say is “the age of consent in Texas is seventeen” or even “we’ve agreed to wait until she’s older”, then he’d only be moderately skeevy. Instead he launches into a prepared speech and pulled out a card that he carries around with him at all times in his wallet. That’s predator behavior. That boy is a predator.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Considering how ineffective he is, it’s more like he is an ineffectual ankle biter…

      1. Andy

        People can go from ineffectual ankle biters to real trauma-inducing predators in about the time it takes to make the decision to violate someone.

        I used to be a less-comic version, and that’s fucking terrifying.

    2. Jay

      I wouldn’t consider him a predator. Just a mini Jo

  47. newllend(henryvolt)

    Oh geez who would have guessed that DoA Fazio would have gotten old really quick, I wonder how many times we’re going to have to send slaped before we find out what he’s even doing here.

    Honestly out of most of Willis’s underrated characters to give the spotlight to I wouldn’t want to see him focus more on Tony I mean I disapprove of him a bit in the itswalky AU but I wonder how much of a normal life he has here.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Then again it’s not like I’m completely hating this it still has potential to be a entertaining Trainwreck, let’s run the dial here and see who and how he interacts with.

    2. geno

      I would assume the point of this storyline is to give some character development to Amber. Maybe Faz as well, but I wouldn’t count on that.

  48. Bagge

    Amber in big-sis-mode is something new and very interesting. I get reminded A LOT about Ruth and Howard.

  49. Nobody

    “How is Faz’s subtle seduction working?”
    “Seduction?”
    “Faz will take that as success”

  50. Aprion

    seriously, just knock the little creeper KO and toss him in with the janitors cleaning supplies. after rolling him up in ductape first.

  51. Wraithy2773

    Just a reminder to everyone:

    Romeo and Juliet Laws are a bit of legal grease used to keep things running smoothly, to prevent teenagers in relationships from suddenly going from legal-ish sex to illegal sex. This is a good thing, but like many good things, it can be exploited by bad actors to be really fucking creepy…

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      It can also be exploited by bad movie director as well who go on to still be allowed to give the Transformers series a bad reputation.

    2. GUIGUI

      How was it creepy, though,, in this case. I mean, the guy was carrying it to get out of trouble in case of someone would attempt a “citizen arrest”, and because he knew his dad would be tempted to call the cop on him. Both him and the girl have known each other for a while already, they don’t need the card for them.

      I have the feeling people consider it creepy because it MIGHT be creepy, without actually taking a care to look into the actual situation.

      I mean, I can see how it could be creepy if this was some dude hitting on a girl he hasn’t seen in a while, telling her it’s okay to fuck because they used to date when they were minor, and showing her that card as his first approach. Now that would be super creepy. But in the TF movie, the card isn’t for her, it’s for people around them wanting to intervene.

      1. thejeff

        It’s largely creepy because Michael Bay decided to make it into a big plot/character point, rather than just sliding over it.

        1. GUIGUI

          I think the point was t convey the father wans’t ready at all for her daughter to be in a relationship and still had to accept she wans’t a little girl. That the boyfriend was carrying the card simply showacase he was aware of the state of mind of the father

          (sorry I have been referring to the character as father boyfriend and girlfriend/daughter, I can’t for the sake of myself, remember the name of the characters and really can’t muster the effort to look it up)

        2. David M Willis

          If you carry around documentation in your pocket at all times to prove you can be banging your underaged girlfriend, that is creepy fullstop.

        3. thejeff

          OTOH, in real life, if it was a serious relationship and you were hassled about if often, I could see it. I was in a relationship in college that would have been illegal in some states, possibly fallen under R&J laws in others, but was over the age of consent where we were.
          Nobody gave us any trouble about it and I honestly never even considered the issue, but if it had, I could see wanting evidence. Especially back in that pre-Internet era.

        4. thejeff

          Which could easily have been done less creepily. It’s not like father’s suddenly become ready to accept their girls have grown up at the legal age of consent. You could, for example, have had it be a character moment for her, claiming her independence and maturity.
          Same point about the father. Not creepy. Actual female characterization.

        5. StClair

          in a Michael Bay movie?

          look, I’ll accept million-year-old shapeshifting alien robots, classified Apollo missions, coded messages flash-burned into eyeglasses… but some stuff is just too much, you know?

  52. Stoodmuffin

    He went full transformers movie.

  53. Delicious Taffy

    Faz wouldn’t even know what to do, if someone ever agreed to his weird propositions.

    1. Coma

      Somehow that is a very likely scenario.
      Don’t know, though, if that’s a comforting or scary thought.

    2. drs

      Faz has watched porn and therefore knows what to do. Faz has made diagrams. Let Faz show them to you.

    3. King Daniel

      Wen it’s happened before though, you’d think…

  54. Furie

    Arrive. Read two panels. Redirected to page about winning an iPhone. Come back, one more panel and I’ve won another iPhone. Fucking ass.

    1. Furie

      Oops. Fucking ads.

    2. Nymphie

      I got the same adware. But I couldn’t go back so I had to close the tab and open a new one each time it happenes

      1. Brotato

        Keeps happening to me, too. Glad I’m not alone.

    3. BBCC

      Tell Hiveworks what ad it is. They don’t like aggressive ads either.

    4. CJ

      On my iPad, installing Firefox clear and activating its add-filte for safari helped.
      Fuck those ad sites. They are either trying click bait or try to drop some nasty stuff.

  55. Zaxares

    Wait, I’m confused. Wasn’t Blaine also Faz’s dad? I thought the implication was that Blaine had no qualms about sleeping around outside of his marriage to Amber’s mother, which is how Faz ended up dating someone who was his half-sister (Wen). Granted, this was in the Shortpacked universe, so I’m not sure if that carried over to DoA.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Amber’s new step dad would be.. Joe’s dad ?

    2. thejeff

      True in SP!.
      Assumed by some in DoA, but not explicit. Implied otherwise, since he’s always been referred to as her step brother. Even more strongly now.

    3. King Daniel

      Wen wasn’t Faz’s half-sister if I recall, though? That was the McAwesome’s couple, Rose (the Amber opposite) and Zaph (the Faz opposite).

      1. geno

        No Wen was revealed to be another of Blaine’s progeny

        1. BBCC

          No she wasn’t. That was Rose and Zaph.

  56. Tommy Fresh

    Yikes, I almost thought this version of Faz was harmlessly ridiculous, but nope.

  57. Josh Spicer

    Gonna go with another “fuck off Faz” just in case it finally works.

  58. ValdVin

    Amber is really racking up a lot of great looking grimaces and downturned mouths. Of course, if I had a Faz pop up in my life, at any time whatsoever, I would too.

  59. Hof1991

    Never been happier to have never seen a transformer movie. Now I need to erase reading these comments.

  60. TemperaryObsessor

    Just to be clear its still possible for them to be half siblings.

    1. Yumi

      I suppose it’s possible for Amber not to know of a blood relation? Willis has said that Amber is Blaine’s only bio-kid, though. Blaine could have legally adopted Faz, I suppose, which Amber could easily not know about.

      1. TemperaryObsessor

        I didn’t read the word of Willis so just assumed Blane having an affair with someone which created a child then marrying the mother after the divorce and never telling the son about the affair was still technically possible.

        1. EvilMidnightLurker

          That’s what I assume.

  61. Cass

    Blaine has woken up and been released from the hospital then? (I suppose it has been awhile, I just always picture the way back patreon bonus strip of him when I’m thinking of him now). Or Amber’s instinct is still to worry about what he’ll do in the situation to the point it overpowers knowing he’s out of commission.

    …Or Amber’s still having dissociative spells involving him.

  62. GUIGUI

    The dude in the transformers movie was carrying it because of the father, not to show it to his girlfriend, though. I mean, in the end, what is it about is simply whether or not people consider it gross for a 17 year old person to date a 13 or 14 year old person.

    1. Featherdowns

      Still creepy that he had it printed and laminated for that exact reason

  63. Reltzik

    Look, Amber, this is very simple. Drag him downstairs as you are clearly capable of doing, deposit him with Puddinghead, explain that he’s an uninvited relative and a minor, that you’re not responsible for him, that he’s not authorized to be in this building, and that you have classes to get to.

    Or if you’re mean, deposit him with Ruth instead.

    ….

    …. actually, Ruth is probably the better choice, since she has a much better track record of not getting abusive parent figures involved.

    1. thejeff

      With a minor, there’s very little either could do that doesn’t involve contact the parent or legal guardian. Barring bringing charges against Blaine and that’s more Amber or Stacey’s place.
      Chloe would be legally obligated to contact his parents. Ruth might avoid that, but isn’t going to babysit him herself.

      1. BBCC

        Although, since Blaine’s not allowed in the building (he’s not an approved family member) and may have been banned after the incident at Freshman Family Weekend, in this case, calling a guardian would likely mean calling his mother.

      2. Reltzik

        At the very least, Faz could be removed and banned from the building.

  64. Victor Riley

    Faz needs a beatin’. That is coming more and more apparent.

    1. Agemegos

      Are you going to applaud it if Blaine delivers?

      1. Victor Riley

        No, it needs to come from someone dramatically appropriate, like Ruth… or even Mike.

    2. Fart Captor

      He’s 15 and tiny, and his step dad is more than okay with domestic violence. Can we maybe NOT go exactly there?

      1. Victor Riley

        Yeah, I said it without thinking… I’d rather he get some kind of comeuppance from someone he’s trying to harass.

        Oooh… like Carla!

  65. Mike Crichton

    Speaking as someone for a blended family: Go FUCK yourself, Amber, right in the ear. Adoptive relationships are just as real as biological, and you should be ashamed of yourself for insinuating otherwise.

    1. Yumi

      Dude, you need to chill a bit. Amber thought Faz misunderstood her. And the relation in question is to Blaine, so the less related to him one is, the better.

    2. Kittie

      Not all stepparents adopt their stepkids. Do you really think Blaine is the type to jump at the chance to bond with Faz as his own?

      Also, since Faz defaulted to thinking Amber meant his bio dad, I don’t think HE views Blaine as his dad either.

  66. Featherdowns

    Did Faz laminate that like in Age of Extinction?

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