486

Stompstompstomp
Posted on January 18, 2016 by David M Willis

486 thoughts on “Stompstompstomp”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Carla still has all her teeth??

    TECHNICALLY it’s not skating if the skates don’t skate tho lolololol

    [these two kinda deserve each other]

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      I’m more worried about her tongue the way she’s talking while jumping like that.

    2. gkheyf

      that was exactly the sentiment that i was gonna go for, but i wasn’t sure whether it would be mean, and i don’t know which of them would suffer more from it. sure, carla is likeable, but she would be very efficient at making sure that mary never smiled again.

      …which is a bad thing…?

      1. Shiro

        You say that as if she smiles now

        1. gkheyf

          behold and tremble

        2. Packy

          Oh, shit. Mary knows about Roth & Billie, and she’s going to try to strongarm Ruth into punishing Carla.

        3. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

          Roth? You mean Billie is with David Lee Roth? A shocking development in orthography!

        4. Clif

          I forget. Is orthography the study of the geography of birds or is it the writing of lines at right angles.

        5. Clif

          Also I love the way Carla is getting her money’s worth out of her ruined skates.

        6. Cerberus

          They’re not skates anymore, they’re the Calfmaster 9000.

        7. trlkly

          If that’s all she does with that info, then they’ve dodged a freaking canonball.

          Even though someone has to eventually find out, I hope it’s later rather than sooner. If we can’t have therapists or psychologists, I’d at least like to see Billie do some research in her “problem fixer” mode and actually work with Ruth some stuff that actually is proven to help fight depression. Channel all that rage into attacking depression itself as an enemy.

    3. Bob

      They really do

  2. AnvilPro

    So is Mary “That Perfect Girl”?

    1. Mr K

      If you have craps taste.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Her personality is her worst attribute; everything else isn’t completely intolerable.

        1. Needfuldoer

          To be clear: I meant if she wasn’t such a self-reitous know-it-all then there wouldn’t be anywhere near as much negative fan reaction. (Have we seen Mary do anything redeeming? It seems like she only ever shows up to boast, scheme, or shove her religion into someone’s face.)

          Don’t post until after the coffee kicks in, kids.

    2. Cattleprod

      The ‘perfect girl’ is actually their mutual hatred made manifest into a godlike being.

      1. AnvilPro

        Silent Hill 5: Dumbing of Age

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          … so long as it wasn’t made by Konami, I would play the shit out of that.
          #fuckonami

        2. Doctor_Who

          I want to put Konami and EA in a steel cage and let them fight it out. Two game companies enter.

          …What? One game company leaves? Why would I let one of them leave?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Put them in a cage and let them fight it out while you lower the cage into lava.

          Fixed that for you.

        4. Disloyal Subject

          This is starting to sound suspiciously like Dwarven Childcare. We don’t want to risk making them stronger.
          Nuking them from orbit is the only way to be sure.

        5. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Eeh, just throw a necromancer behind glass into the equasion and a couple of Forgotten Beasts. Let’s see if they can survive their lungs rotting. Their brains have already rotted, but their lungs I’m not so sure about.

        6. HeySo

          Nuking them?
          That’s how they mutate, though :/

        7. Screwball

          Nuke from orbit? Naaa, the nuclear fallout would cause too many problems for you meatsacks. I recon just put a closet in there, & let Becky do the rest… }XD

        8. Clif

          Now I want to read the X-Dwarves. Trapped in a mine they never made.

        9. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          @Cliff: How exactly would that cause any problems? No matter who originally made the hole, a bunch of dwarves will always make it into a bigger, more elaborate, more magma-filled and more spacetime-warping hole.

        10. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Eh. EA are assholes, and they managed to screw up Tetris (or was that Activision?), but they aren’t as bad as Konami. EA has never canceled a game out of spite or sold out their biggest franchises into pachinko machines.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uphcEJW-MDA&list=PLlRceUcRZcK0E1Id3NHchFaxikvCvAVQe&index=26

        11. Doctor_Who

          I was there in the 90s. I saw what they did to Ultima. The Horror. The…horror…

        12. EvilMidnightLurker

          The flashbacks. The flashbacks… 🙁

          I’m sad now.

          (Compassion. Bard for life, yo.)

        13. Buhzim

          The winner gets to take Capcom behind the shed and put her out of her misery.

        14. Spencer

          Capcom is getting better, though! Street Fighter 5 looks fantastic, they’re finally acknowledging Mega Man again, they’re probably making Devil May Cry 5, and we have some good Resident Evil games again with Revelations 2, the HD ports of the REmake and RE0, and the upcoming remake of RE2.

        15. Rutee

          Look, Konami should fuck rightly off, but the pachinko machine thing? Nonissue. Seriously, nonissue. Pachinko machines don’t in any way, shape, or form interfere with game design. They’re done by entirely different people. Konami wanted to get out of the Triple A game entirely, because, well… the whole ‘Triple A game reliance’ thing is a greaaaaat way to lose money in the long term. We like to tell ourselves that the reason we don’t see innovation is that it’s a conservative business model that makes what reliably sells, but the simple fact is that of the entertainment media, Gaming takes the biggest risks – ENORMOUS risks. They rely on making triple-A games for money, which /will/ bankrupt them if one doesn’t sell. It’s a completely unsustainable model in the long term, and some businesses are figuring that out (Nintendo makes smaller games and can keep taking a slice of profits from owning a console, Square also makes tons of mobile games using FF characters to help get folks to shell out, etc). These smaller things are the rom coms and bollywood movies of the gaming industry – cheap to make, and reliably profitable for it. Like with rom coms and bollywood movies, they are what will make the industry a huge chunk of its profits, so it can afford to make AAA (Some of which will work and be massively profitable for an individual game – in this analogy, a Star Wars VII or Avengers) and more experimental stuff (Like Brave or Frozen). In each of these categories, some things will genuinely be enjoyable, and some won’t. But we really, really, REALLY need to stop pretending the Cheap Mobages, Pachinko Machines and Rom Coms are somehow evil. They’re not the problem.

          I mean, Konami can still fuck off. They were kind of titanic assholes to everyone who split off. And it feels kinda shitty that some franchises won’t see their proper end because of it, but the decision to get out of the AAA game? That, I can’t fault. I’m just surprised they didn’t see a middle area they could still (plausibly) make money off of.

        16. PrincessPoeDameron

          In what universe are princess movies experimental?

        17. Rutee

          Yeah, not sure what I was thinking for frozen. Brave isn’t experimental formula-wise, it’s experimental technically. It was literally a tech demo that got turned into a full movie because ‘why not, we’re close enough?’. Technical experiments are still valid experiments, all the moreso for video games, but still true for movies.

        18. newllend(henryvolt)

          Hopefully by the end of it they will take each other out.

        19. Rukduk

          Any Total War fan would ask you to add SEGA to that fight. By the way, could you add SEGA to that fight? Pretty please.

        20. Rutee

          That’s cause y’all are shortsighted and only care about your franchise! Sega still does a fair amount of good work.

        21. Rukduk

          I honest to God don’t even remember what other franchises they have anymore aside from Total War and Sonic (and when was the last time Sonic got a good game?). So, and I want say that I do not mean this in a facetious way but instead to remove my own ignorance on the subject, please enlighten me as to this good work that SEGA has done.

        22. Rutee

          Valkyria Chronicles, Project DIVA, Yakuza, Phantasy Star (though it’s only Online atm), off the top of my head. Total War: Rome 2 seemed alright from the time I put in, but to be fair I didn’t put in much, a nd I didn’t come into it with preconceptions. Just to see if some of their other stuff is still alive, it looks like House of the Dead is still making games, but I’ll be damned if I knew that, I don’t go to arcades. It might suck now, idk.

          The ones I listed first though? Definitely good. PSO2 is probably better at Monster Hunter than Monster Hunter for purposes of group play (Worse at other things, of course, especially atmosphere).

        23. Rutee

          I mean there might be a good sonic game released lately I guess but I sure as hell stopped giving them chances there. I assume there hasn’t been, though.

        24. Rukduk

          Ok, completely forgot about Valkyria Chronicles and Yakuza. Haven’t heard of the other series though. I will officially transfer blame to CA. Also, it wasn’t as much Rome 2 (although admittedly that game came out about a year too early) so much as the DLC policy that accompanied it and has gotten worse since. Day one DLC that feels like (and in the case of the Chaos Warriors DLC most definitely is) cut content just is not cool. Age of Charlemagne is quite possibly their best release since Shogun 2 and it’s expansions, which is a shame really.

        25. JustCheetoDust

          Also:
          Shining series
          Virtua Fighter
          Initial D

        26. Rutee

          Shining doesn’t still get Meriken games, but it does still exist. And I don’t know who’s at fault for Total WAr: Rome 2. I’m not saying Sega is, or isn’t, responsible. If they’re laissez faire like Square is, it’s probably on the actual devs. If they interfered, it may be on them. The point wasn’t ‘they make good games, so they can’t be responsible for a bad one’ (Sonic exists, after all), but that they still produce good games and we shouldn’t wish for them to fall off the planet.

          Day 1 DLC can be a little more complicated. There’s some clear cut cases (Tropico 5, where literally every DLC up to at least evil genius type one was actually included in the base game and already /actually complete/), but sometimes day 1 DLC is just stuff that got finished in time for launch, but only for digital distribution. As far as Rome 2, it did feel like they restricted a lot of the map based on DLC (A feeling I also have for CK2, but unlike for CK2, it doesn’t seem to have a legitimate reason, and seems to come down to, as you say, ‘it was released too early’)

          If the DLC model is more the problem, it’s (based on my limited knowledge) more on CF. My logic here is pretty simple – if it’s Sega, Sega’s going to take that DLC model everywhere plausibly applicable. Yakuza doesn’t have bullshit DLC, nor does VC (I can’t speak for Sonic or Diva, and PSO 2’s cash shop is pretty fair on the whole, although they do make you pay for MAGs. Also they won’t take our filthy gaijin money). However, it’s possible Sonic or Diva have bullshit dlc, or that Sega is just gouging the market they think they can (PC players). In the end, I’m only saying we shouldn’t want them to fall off the earth for what they did for one franchise, even if it’s incredibly unfortunate.

        27. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Anyway, the point is, “Silent Hill 5: Dumbing of Age” sounds absolutely incredible, and I would love to see some indy developer team up with Willis to make something insane like that happen.

        28. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Can we hire the Bogleech guy for monster design?

        29. That One Guy

          Could it be? A Jim Fuckin’ Sterling Son fan?

        30. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Damn right. I love that wonderful sunofabongo.

        31. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          … sonofabiatch?
          Really weird that I can write #FucKonami, but not the B word.

        32. a4lbi

          I’m out of the game (hurr hurr).

          Gonna Google why I should be mad a Konami right now.

        33. Ana Chronistic

          funny thing is there’s a Konami Asian restaurant sort-of-but-not-really near us, so it’s kinda funny imagining y’all mad at them for making bad sushi or something

          (I know you mean the game company–“for the lols” is pretty much the only reason we tried the restaurant (which was okay but not really worth the “sort-of-but-not-really near us” drive))

        34. Spencer

          I’m pretty okay with Konami stepping out of the console game market. They ruined Castlevania, Silent Hill, and managed to push away Hideo Kojima, so say goodbye to Metal Gear.

          Igarashi managed to kickstart a Castlevania successor, I’m sure someone will manage to make Not!Silent Hill one of these days.

      2. evan

        Now we just need to come up with a fusion name.

        1. Void

          I feel like it should simply be hatred.

        2. Rukduk

          Since the only other fusion names would be either Cary or Marla, I think you’re on to something with that.

    3. KarkatTheDalek

      Well, that may be what SHE would call herself.

    4. Lia47

      i think that perfect girl is gone

    5. JQuire

      I mean, she thinks she is.

  3. Fish Facade

    *stomp stomp stomp stomp*

    1. Lawzlo

      STOMP STOMP CLAP
      STOMP STOMP CLAP
      STOMP STOMP CLAP
      STOMP STOMP CLAP
      Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise
      Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day
      You got mud on your face
      You big disgrace
      Kickin’ your can all over the place
      Singin’

      1. EvilMidnightLurker

        WE WILL WE WILL SKATE YOU

      2. Screwball

        WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!!
        *Stomp stomp clap*
        WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!!

    2. Doctor_Who

      She auditioning for a live musical group. The one with all the stomping. You know, the Blue Man Group.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        STAMP ON THE GROUND
        JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP
        MOVIN’ ALL AROUND
        DEP DE DAH DOW

  4. blackouthart

    I’m hoping Mary loses all her teeth at the end of this altercation.

    1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      Teeth and femurs.

    2. Idris

      How dare she want a reasonably quiet home environment to study in. That Monster.

      1. Viktoria

        She wanted an utterly silent environment in a communal living area in the middle of the day. It’s flat-out not going to happen.

        1. heyman

          Like perfection, quiet is still a goal worth striving for.

        2. timemonkey

          Then go to one of the designated quiet spaces.

        3. Inkblot

          Or request that people not skate and stomp in the dorm halls. It’s against residence rules for a reason.

        4. Cerberus

          Seriously. I’ve already brought out the Indiana University Dorm Guides that point out that there’s literally quiet areas on every floor. Going someplace quiet is not a matter of packing up all your stuff and wandering out to the library. It’s a matter of going down the damn hall to the quiet study room literally a matter of meters away.

          Mary’s got no leg to stand on.

        5. heyman

          The entire dorm? Yes.

        6. Buhzim

          Well, there’s a difference between getting angry at normal corridor noises and at someone treating the place as a skatepark.

        7. Clif

          Rules against exercising the joy of skating are evil and should be disobeyed at every opportunity.

      2. Disloyal Subject

        A reasonable desire she pursued in entirely the wrong way. Carla flat-out invited Mary to report her.
        Tooth loss would be unfortunate and messy, though.

      3. begbert

        The minute you respond to bad behavior by deliberately retaliating and escalating it you take every ounce of sympathy you might have once deserved, chuck it out the window, go outside and set fire to it, then bring it back upstairs and chuck it out the window again.

        Or to put it this way, forget that Carla was skating in the halls. Mary deliberately destroyed Carla’s property with an act that, were this not a comic, would probably have seriously injured her. By vigilante justice rules Carla should slam Mary’s face into the wall as hard as she can and then set fire to her textbook. What she’s doing instead is downright benign.

        1. Insanenoodlyguy

          No see, Carla is dragging the entire hall into her bullshit. (and people on the floor below her) Honestly everybody else teaming up to make sure she lost her teeth would be a more realstic outcome at this point.

        2. Shade

          Can we agree that both Carla and Mary are awful people?

          Carla was deliberately breaking rules for her own amusement, rules that were put in place for her own and others safety. If we replaced her skates with a car, she’d be guilty of reckless endangerment.

          Mary deliberately orchestrated a situation where Carla or someone else could have been harmed. Using the same analogy from above, Mary basically shot out her tires.

          Given their personalities, anything else either of them do at this point is adding fuel to their funeral pyres.

        3. Cerberus

          Nah. Carla is a rulebreaker, yes. She’s a rough and tumble punk who’s probably got some good reasons to mistrust and despise authority and tradition. Yeah, she was skating in the halls. Kids do fucked up shit like that in dorm halls all the time and she picked a good time when most of her fellow students were off in class.

          Stupid? Yes. Reckless Endangerment? Hardly. There’s a reason a skinny girl on roller skates skating around isn’t treated the same as a car driving around and that’s because there just isn’t the same likelihood of injury.

          That being said, if she had caused injury to someone else, that would be different and she could be cited for that injury.

          Mary, though? Mary deliberately escalated a situation, placed a very unreasonable expectation on the usage of the space (there’s quiet rooms on every floor of her dorm specifically because her dorm is expected to frequently be noisy and full of dumb kids), and then committed an act of willful destruction of property and intention to cause injury. That’s another level of awful and quite literally legally a much bigger crime.

          So in your analogy, instead of it being reckless endangerment and shooting out tires, it’s more like driving while honking one’s horn incessantly on Carla’s end and attempting to shoot out Carla’s tires so she’d drive into a particularly nasty looking ditch on Mary’s end.

        4. Pat

          “If we replaced her skates with a car, she’d be guilty of reckless endangerment.”

          I mean, this whole altercation is kinda Carla’s fault even if we like her better than Mary, but if we replace me writing that sentence with punching you in the face this still isn’t a terribly good argument.

          (Also, Carla was being disruptive in the hallway. Mary notably damaged the hallway. Even if we ignore what Mary did to Carla, she loses her own argument by a lot.)

        5. Cerberus

          This.

          Let’s say I have a neighbor. Let’s say that neighbor was doing something actually objectionable like playing loud music at 3 in the morning or pounding on the walls (cause there being people being dumb college kids at midday doesn’t fucking cut it).

          The sympathy my situation would enlist would fucking end the second I decided to injury my neighbor or destroy his stuff.

          Mary escalated a situation to a crime and despite what many people seem to think, the movies are wrong and it’s actually not socially acceptable or legally acceptable to injury people and break their stuff just because they annoy you. The second that she did her little glue stunt, she lost the only leverage she could hope for, that being that the authorities might actually take her side.

          Also, it’s really telling that she’s still clinging to the original bullshit excuse rather than actually acknowledging her own wrong-doing. It’s all “skating is against my rules” rather than even a glimmer of acknowledgement that she destroyed (probably expensive) property and deliberately tried to cause injury.

          It’s honestly, a very reductive (and sadly popular) worldview surrounding transgressions. If you violate social law, then you are a criminal or a wrong-doer and thus any and all negative actions against you are justified even if they are wildly disproportionate. It’s “Michael Brown may have committed a robbery, so clearly he deserved to get shot” type “logic”.

      4. Time Sage

        Then she should go to the campus libray or one of the various study areas. Dorms tend to be people’s “Homes” and thus are not really any quieter then your average aparment building.

        1. Dumb Idiot Is Who I am

          Where the hell do you live that your apartment is as loud as a dorm room? My dorm had weekly raves, whereas in the last three apartments I’ve been in I wasn’t even sure if I had neighbors.

        2. Time Sage

          I don’t live in one. And thank you for proveing my point with an even better example of why even trying was a bad idea.

        3. Suzi

          But (sadly) It’s Mary’s home too. My neighbor’s are obnoxious druggies who party late into the night. It wasn’t me who called the cops on them, but don’t I have a right to some peace and quiet in my own home? Should I just have vacated to the nearest public library when I just wanted to chill in my room reading comics?

      5. Adam Black

        “Exactly like that , but without the sarcasm”

      6. KarkatTheDalek

        Well, normally I’d be on Mary’s side.

        But…I mean, it’s Mary, for God’s sake. She probably thinks everyone on the floor is going to hell, and is a total jerkass about it to boot. Let her suffer.

      7. Cerberus

        Welcome to dorm living. Hell, welcome to communal living in general. If you’re in an apartment or a dorm, you’re going to hear all sorts of bullshit noises at all times of the day. People yelling, kids playing and stomping around, loud boomboxes and music blaring, people loudly arguing or fucking.

        It’s why quiet hours are a thing and why you can invoke authorities if quiet hours are violated.

        1. Mr.fat

          its almost as if mary knows Ruth the alcoholic who assaulted her and other people in the dorm wont do a dam thing

        2. Cerberus

          Okay, go to the authorities with that. The RA ain’t shit compared to Residential. And even a totally douchey complaint going up the chain would trigger at least a cursory investigation, moreso if Mary was being a dick about it. And I guarantee Mary would be a dick about it.

          But then, Mary doesn’t actually want the things she claims to want. She doesn’t want Carla to knock it off and bugger off or Ruth to act nicer to her or be fired.

          She wants to win.

          She wants to smugly smile to herself over having personally gotten one over on a big bad and thus demonstrate how much better than everyone she is.

          It’s why she hasn’t just pulled the cord on the Ruth/Billie thing and instead is “biding her time” like a cartoon villain and it’s why she didn’t just stomp on downstairs to the actual authorities when Carla gave her “okay, tell on me”.

          Fuck, Mary wouldn’t have even needed to. Just walking that way saying she was intending to would probably have been enough to get Carla to move on.

  5. Sam

    I never knew vampires studied. What for, though?

    1. David Alexander McDonald

      To become teachers at night school, of course.

      Also, to end up writing a Ph.D thesis on THE GRAVEYARD BOOK.

    2. DarkoNeko

      biology and artery positions, I guess ?

    3. Chris

      immortality is pretty boring without education.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Tell that to those Twilight dorks. They just repeat high school over and over.

        1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Which is exactly the torture they deserve.

        2. Silly Name

          That was one of the things that bothered me most. You are immortal, you could learn more than any human being ever, you can do ANYTHING… And you decide to stay in High School forever?

        3. Sam

          OMG, that’s what they did? Sorry, I dont know much abt those books. But yea, that’s a very convenient character move for the author.

        4. Captain Button

          Only having seen a few of the movies, the problem was that all but one of the group look like teenagers, and they don’t age. So they aren’t known to be in school that will attract attention. And even if they could provide some reasonable excuse, attention is bad because it might lead to more poking around in their false identities.

        5. Ana Chronistic

          “a few” out of four is far too many

          I withstood ten minutes of the first (to try to be “fair”) and had to bail because it was so mindbogglingly unrealistic

          So this unaging group of “teens” never changes schools? Surely SOMEONE of the GROWN-ASS ADULTS had to have noticed… or, if they DID change schools, how do they have this group reputation that would easily take longer than a couple of years to establish

          I mean okay idk I went to a privateish school, but arhghgahdsgkhflkghfdlgkhds trying to analyse that tripe

        6. Captain Button

          As I recall, they do move to a new town and a new school every few years. Group reputation I can’t comment on, I don’t recall that part.

        7. Cerberus

          Or just “homeschool” them. I mean, you already have a reputation for being that “weird” family, so just add some religious mumbo jumbo and some Chick Tracts and no one will be questioning any weird shit you do ever again.

          Honestly, the whole thing seems to just be enabling behavior for their son’s creepy predator behavior around “virginal” high-school girls.

        8. Ana Chronistic

          okay, but I do recall they have to stay in that area because the perpetual shit weather permits them to go outside without “sparkling”

          see, I even tried to give the book a chance and flipped to a random section… the “sparkling” oneNOPE NOPE NOPE

        9. Pat

          Being in school perpetually is going to attract a lot more attention than not being in school when somebody thinks you probably should.

        10. Captain Button

          As I recall, they do move to a new town and a new school every few years

        11. Dumb Idiot Is Who I am

          Is that the excuse they used? That’s dumb. Even if he looked super seventeen (which Edward doesn’t), it’s not like the school has a roving squad of truancy agents that just grab teenagers and drag them to the principal’s office. Then what? Just tell them the truth–he’s not seventeen and he hasn’t been for years. They’re going to have to lie about his age anyway, he’s a hundred and fifty years old, you might as well lie and say he’s… 25. That way he can at least rent a car.

        12. Ana Chronistic

          It’s not even that, it’s that this studious girl with an inferiority complex goes to a new school to make it easier on her divorcing mom (so only Dad has to worry about her well-being) and is INSTANTLY LOVED BY ALL

          ten minutes in, before Sparkleman even gets dialogue, andNOPE NOPE NOPE

        13. Fred Garber

          I prefer to think of Esme Cullen as reacting to the loss of her mortal baby by keeping her vampiric “children” in a state of arrested development: more like dolls than people in her perfect household. Carlisle indulges her because he’s 300 years old and more interested in physical doctoring than psychology. It’s Bella’s imperfections and messy life that wakes her up. Esme finally forms a real mother/daughter relationship and realizes that stasis isn’t perfection and sorrow can lead to growth that allows the Cullen children to break their mental brainwashing and disable the mental hell house that they have been trapped in for about a century.

          At least, that’s the substory that I WISH was in the books.

      2. begbert

        Naah, immortality is pretty boring without _entertainment_. If you find reading textbooks entertaining, good for you! Have fun! For everyone else, there’s Netflix.

    4. Dean

      They study the Dark Arts, of course.

      1. heyman

        Claro!

      2. Silly Name

        And Crafts. Dark Arts and Crafts.

        1. Sam

          Hahahaha. I wonder what a “dark” version of origami would be?

        2. Shade

          Same thing that you do with “dark” books. Replace the paper with human skin.

  6. Tailess

    ugh they should just talk and kiss already

    1. gkheyf

      great. you have just rule34’d a terrible thing into existence. may ruth have mercy on our souls.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Rule 34ing terrible things into existence has been around since Hitler/Stalin slash.

        1. heyman

          How does that timeline work? K/S was first, but Rule 34 had to await the Internet.

        2. Tacos

          It’s called drawing. No internet required.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          I think heyman’s referring to Rule 34 being one of the rules of the Internet, so internet is required.

        4. heyman

          This, yes, thank you; plus drawings of Hitler with Stalin weren’t called “slash”. That started with the Kirk and Spock stuff, K/S, soon shortened to ‘slash’.

        5. inqntrol

          Their “tango” in the Eastern Front wasn’t quite pleasant for the other inhabitants.

        6. Silly Name

          You think you were making a joke.

          BEHOLD: http://castinet.castilleja.org/users/pmckee/stalin-soviet/honeymoon.gif

        7. inqntrol

          I don’t know why, but I think Hitler fits better as the bride.

        8. Smiling Cat

          Eve/Serpent slashfic, actually, as soon as mankind discovered a sense of good and evil, they decided they needed to fuck it.

    2. Rutee

      Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

    3. Willoughby Chase

      They’re each other’s perfect girl! MAKE IT SO!

    4. Smiling Cat

      Pound each other every night in truly the most epic of hatefucks.

  7. David Alexander McDonald

    “Mary! Thought I’d stop by with the communion wine and some garlic bread! Ha ha haaaaa!”

    1. gkheyf

      carla is so generous! all she does is dish out sh*t!

  8. TrueVCU

    Mary gonna pay what she owe.

    Or Ruth kills them both, either way.

    1. lejwocky

      Let god sort ’em out

      1. gkheyf

        on this floor ruth is all-powerful. and she sorts them all out in the same way. their eternal souls are hers

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Unless one of them already sold their soul already.

        2. TrueVCU

          No sales of any goods, physical or spiritual, are valid without Ruth’s consent.

        3. Cerberus

          Nah, she’d just junk-punch the demon-broker to get what’s hers.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          That’s the way Steven Seagal would’ve done it.

          Rather, that’s the way he would’ve done it before he started riding the coattails of professional fighters, running over puppies and chickens with a tank in the name of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and getting Serbian citizenship so he could “bring Hollywood to Serbia.”

    2. Reltzik

      Ruth IS at large on the floor at the moment…

      1. JessWitt

        Dun, dun, da-dun! And then a redhead ponytail sophomore showdown shall commence!

        1. Reltzik

          Carla is on non-operable skates. Unfair match. Just like Ruth likes it.

          …. though to be fair, ANY match against Ruth is a mismatch.

  9. vonniesaur

    I like vampire Mary

  10. Sara Hysaro

    I wonder what unfortunate people live below this floor (this isn’t the first floor in the building, is it?).

    1. gkheyf

      elevator says no

      1. Opus the Poet

        In my dorm the ground floor was support services and whatnot, not housing. These guys are on what Americans call the second floor and the UK the first

        1. Carriethedragon

          It’s the third floor. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/chargedup/

        2. Cerberus

          Second floor: “Goddammit Ruth, stop fucking your boyfriend already, the walls are tissue thin.”

      2. Sara Hysaro

        I thought so, but whenever I’m not 100% certain I like to include a disclaimer.

    2. Jordan

      Some poor saps who’re probably becoming increasingly pissed off.

  11. Kay

    ………………………..Either a murder or a date will occur.

    It’s Carla, and an asshole, so I’m really not sure which one it will be.

    1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      I’m hoping for option 1!

      1. Mr K

        Wreck that asshole. It works for both options.

        1. lejwocky

          *rimshot*

  12. Shiro

    Mary was much more the asshole here imo. Ruining someone’s (expensive? I’ve never priced skates but they look expensive to me) property is a jerk move, especially when the issue could’ve been solved with words.

    Those words probably being from Ruthless and being something to do with femurs, but I digress.

    1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      Mary’s always more of an asshole.

      Even more than Mike, for Mike’s funny–Mary’s hateable.

      1. AeromechanicalAce

        Mike’s assholitude usually serves a purpose. Typically it’s to make people realize what idiots they’re being. Imagine Mister Miyagi, but more of a dick.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Daniel-san, remember. Fip on. Flip off.

        2. Jordan

          I’ll need to remember that one for later.

        3. Spencer

          Mike’s behaviour has literally never been the direct cause of any kind of positive development.

        4. Cerberus

          This:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/jackbutt/#comment-931871

          (and thanks so much for the individual who showed me how to link comments)

        5. Spencer

          fo rizzle

          The only thing I could maaaybe describe as having a positive effect would be that time he invaded Gender Studies to harass Walky and Dorothy, in that it made the two of them closer.

          And by that I mean there’s no way it was actually a master plan to make them closer and any actual good came from Walky and Dorothy dealing with this asshole, or that being a good thing if it were the case. Abuse in the name of causing a positive development is fucking gross and I trust that it’s something Willis would never include in his work.

        6. Cerberus

          I think I mentioned that in the bit on how the only time he’s had positive effects is when he fails and his victim decides to ignore his bullshit and grow on their own. Like his gender studies thing was an attempt to sabotage their relationship as was the taking pictures of them and posting them to Facebook. Both times he failed to get his way and it only turned out for the best because Dorothy is willing to tune him out and do positive actions in her relationship despite him.

    2. Regina Phalange

      She tried with words. She was acknowledged, interrupted, and brushed off.

      1. Shiro

        Heh, we crossed responses. I made my argument down there in your thread.

      2. Carolyn

        Then she could have swallowed her damn pride and gotten Ruth or even called down to the front desk to report a disturbance and see if there were any building staff members who could step in.

      3. No Name

        And instead of taking her words to the authorities, an option Carla suggested, she went straight to violence.

        1. heyman

          The Carlas IRL suggest that because they know it is a low priority among Authority, plus they will decide to be elsewhere by then.

        2. Cerberus

          Yeah, cause she and they are punks with little to no respect for authority. Doesn’t mean you take a baseball bat to them or escalate things, means you call the little mall cop anyways and let him make a lot of noise so they bugger off someplace else.

        3. heyman

          Baseball bat?? That’s extreme.
          The glue seizing up the wheels so fast (at all) and the subsequent crash is Cartoon Violence.

        4. Pat

          Carla deciding to be elsewhere is Mary’s stated goal.

        5. Falcon

          Allowing disruptive (and frankly somewhat dangerous) behavior in the hallway might not be at the top of a university’s to-do list, but it’s not at the bottom either.

          And Carla is a student in the school dorm. If she persisted with this behavior, besides any social costs she incurred with schoolmates the university would have plenty of leverage over her.

    3. Idris

      Gotta say, not really…

      There’s a lot of places where you can break in your new skates. The hallways of the places where people are trying to study is a pretty crappy one especially when you can just go outside.

      Also, while I don’t really like Mary, she did try words and got flippantly dismissed for it. The glue was option #4.

      1. Shiro

        This is true. I didn’t say she was the only asshole here, just the bigger one. Property damage should’ve been waaaaaaaaaay down the list, after earplugs, retiring to the library, appealing to an authority figure, and god knows what other options I’m forgetting. For pragmatic, being-forced-to-pay-for-it reasons if nothing else.

        1. Idris

          Nah. Carla was being a selfish idiot. This seems like a pretty fair idiot tax.

        2. Shiro

          I disagree, but you don’t seem to be here for a discussion 🙂

        3. Idris

          Mostly because I’m not really sure what there is to talk about. I mean, you have a case where someone finds out what they’re doing with their stuff is pissing people off and not only keep on doing that, but actively mock the person they’re pissing off. And the person getting pissed off and mocked is the asshole?

          I get that Mary is not a sympathetic person. But frankly, this seems like a pretty fair lesson. You do stupid shit like this, then the people you piss off will do things that will piss you off in return, and a lot of the fault for how things turned out, in the end, is your own.

          So, yeah. I’ve got some sympathy for Mary here, and exactly none for Carla, and I’m really baffled at how anyone can see otherwise.

        4. Shiro

          That’s what I mean, you’re presenting your opinion as the only reasonable opinion, and that’s not really conducive to discussion. *shrugs* That, and teaching someone a lesson by way of a misdemeanor seems kind of counter-productive.

        5. Idris

          Of course the thing that looks like the reasonable option to me is my opinion. If something else looked more reasonable, then I would hold that opinion instead. If I engage into a discussion with a viewpoint, of course I will state my opinion in a way where it seems reasonable, because if I could not, then why would I bother talking at all instead of simply letting another view reign in silence?

          You say that the heart of discussion is not conductive to discussion? This makes no sense.

        6. Shiro

          Then frankly, if you think you hold the only reasonable opinion and everyone else is being unreasonable, what you want is not a considerate and thoughtful discussion. What you want is to tell people that they’re wrong.

        7. Cerberus

          Idris-

          You are not actually allowed to break someone’s things or hurt someone because they are “annoying”. There’s no such thing as an “idiot tax” where the legal authorities will go, oh, did you set their car on fire? What? They were being a jackhole? Well, then by all means, sir, we’ll let you off on having to pay a fine for the damages.

          This may be what’s modeled in cartoons and TV, but in the real world, it is the justifications of bullies (note how many times a real life bully tries to argue that the person they were hitting or teasing was doing something “wrong” or “annoying” that justified it).

          And I’m not speaking in ignorance here. I’m a teacher and I’ve presided over a lot of different age ranges.

          So no, Shiro is right, your opinion is actually unsupported by legal, social, and human standards and is only reflected and supported in media depictions.

        8. Viktoria

          Carla:was doing something slightly annoying and refused to stop.
          Mary:did a couple hundred dollars in damage to Carla’s property, risked seriously injuring her.

          How are those 2 equivalent?!

        9. Charles RB

          ” I’ve got some sympathy for Mary here, and exactly none for Carla, and I’m really baffled at how anyone can see otherwise.”

          Cos Mary’s a horrible person, basically.

          Carla’s ALSO a horrible person though and is the one deliberately pissing people off & then getting pissy when they retaliate by being dicks just like her, in a way that also pisses off a whole floor under her. So damn it Carla, you have me on Mary’s side. YOU HAVE FAILED MANKIND, CARLA.

        10. Buhzim

          Carla seems to be a nice person (if annoying), and Mary is…well, Mary. People feel compelled to take Carla’s side even if she started it, I guess. If this was, say, Becky in Mary’s place I think no one would take Carla’s side.

        11. Cerberus

          But if it was Becky in Mary’s place, she wouldn’t have done the Mary actions that are so objectionable. I mean, can you imagine Becky for one second going out of her way to demand Carla stop being a goofball in the halls? Hell, she’d probably ask for a turn and accidentally bump into Ruth.

          Or not just throwing on some headphones or just heading off to hang with Joyce or Dina? Or actively trying to destroy Carla’s shit?

          Mary’s getting flak not just because Carla is wonderful and awesome and great (though she is… yes, I’m in the tank for her, how could you not be, she’s a fearless trans ace woman who’s not scared to wear short shorts and tank tops or anything). But because she’s approached this situation in a Mary way.

          Only Mary would have thought to escalate things in this way. Only Mary wouldn’t have just adapted to the noise (hell, Carla’s had to deal with noise while studying too, including late at night, we’ve seen it in the Ruth banging Billie against the closet comic) and dealt.

          Mary’s in this situation because she’s Mary and reacts to things in the most Mary way possible and that’s why Mary gets flak.

        12. RZ

          Yup. The library has designated quiet zones. The dorm is where people live. People make noise where they live.

    4. John

      It’s not even the skates that bother me, ’cause Carla was kind of asking for that. It’s the hall carpet. People like Mary are the reason that we, as a society, can’t have nice things.

    5. altalemur

      she also ruined the carpet with all that glue. when shit like that gets pulled in a dorm, the campus might make the entire floor pay for it.

      1. Cerberus

        Yup, which is probably why they had cheap enough carpet in the first place for Mary to even hear Carla’s skating from before.

  13. Squirrel

    There is breaking a a dorm rule and then there is willful and malicious destruction of property. One of these is a crime.

    1. David Alexander McDonald

      Reckless endangerment, too. That trick could have resulted in broken bones or a broken neck.

      1. Squirrel

        Ah but she laid there knowing full well that there was someone skating in the hallway. The train isn’t at fault if you lay in the tracks. Also if I remember correctly she wanted Carla to trip over her to some extent.

        1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

          Mary’s a criminal!

          WOO!

        2. Idris

          Bad analogy. Residential hallways are not for roller skates. Carla’s the one outside the right of way in this instance.

          As for what Mary said, she only said that she would have to become an immovable object after a) asking Carla to stop, and b) reminding her it was against the rules.

        3. Squirrel

          But she did block a hallway. Roller skates may not have the right away but Mary did block the hallway which I’m sure is also against the rules. The minor infractions did lead up to a real crime though. Destruction of property.

        4. Idris

          And we’ll never find out what would have happened if someone had simply asked Mary to move, like Mary had asked Carla to stop roller skating. Or if Carla had simply taken the hint and stopped roller skating at that point.

        5. Squirrel

          Neither of them would have. It’s not in their personalities. But as soon as Mary destroyed Carla’s property Mary became in the wrong.

        6. Idris

          You’re saying that like there’s only one wrong. Mary didn’t take the perfect action, but all she was trying to do was restore the status quo. If Carla had simply left when it was requested, or done her skating in an appropriate place to begin with, then the rest of this would not have happened.

        7. Spring

          Being annoyed by someone doesn’t give you the right to injure someone and destroy their property. If my neighbors are too loud, I can call the police and file a noise complaint, I can’t assault them to shut them up like Mary did.

        8. Squirrel

          Spring is absolutely right. Mary turned a civil matter into a criminal one.

        9. Falcon

          Concurred. The law generally favors the de-escalation of hostilities and the use of authorities when de-escalation isn’t possible. Recent “stand your ground” laws notwithstanding.

          Carla did breach regulations first, but Mary’s conduct destroyed Carla’s property and was downright dangerous.

          And now here we have Carla asking for trouble again, in an admittedly amusing manner. I predict Mary needlessly escalating the situation again as well.

        10. Cerberus

          What Falcon, Squirrel, and Spring said. Carla started off with breaking a dorm rule, which if caught would have gotten her a nasty rant from Ruth and being told to knock it the fuck off or be written up/made to stop by security. Mary escalated with another breach of dorm rules, which would have resulted in the same deal.

          Then Mary escalated into criminal actions, destruction of property and intention to cause injury. These are things that if Carla wasn’t a punk who hated authority could have actually led to police action, including potential jail time and most definitely at least a fine.

          And she did it entirely because Carla embarrassed her, which does not say good things about Mary’s personality or ability to handle interacting with others in a civil and reasonable manner.

          There is no caveat to the laws that says, oh, if the person you targeted was a total ass, you’re totally in the clear. You don’t get to destroy someone’s stuff if you can legally prove that “they were being annoying”.

          The comic books and cartoon shows lied, you don’t actually get to hurt someone and get away with it just because they “pissed you off”.

      2. Emily

        If we’re gonna apply real world consequences we have to apply real world logic and by real world logic glue does not work that way. It would fuck up her skates eventually but it’s not going to make her fall flat on her face like it did. What Mary did was only dangerous because this is a comic and physics takes a backseat to comedy/drama in reality it was completely safe.

        1. Liliet

          There’s different types of glue. I wouldn’t rule it out that Mary had one that works like that.

        2. TamiDOA

          Yeah, there are some glues that the faster force is applied, the harder they stick. I read where they tried using them to replace spike sticks for stopping cars, but it resulted in terrible crashes when the tires or axles were ripped off the cars.

        3. Cerberus

          She’s an art student. If she’s doing any sorts of modeling, I can very easily see her having a stash of super glue or rubber cement, which even if it did not cartoon stop like that, would create a bunch of gunk on the wheels to keep them from rolling properly or without dangerous potential for a sudden jerking stop.

      3. JQuire

        Nah, I reckon that’s just a good old fashioned assault and battery.

  14. miados

    time to learn morse code so you can argue during skate stomping.

  15. David Alexander McDonald

    *stomp stomp stomp stomp CRACK stomp CRACK* “Oh shi—” *CRASH*

  16. DarkoNeko

    *snerk* My first thought while seeing that was Carla floating, shounen manga style.

    ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
    “Jojoooooooooooooooooooooo !!”

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Well… now I can’t unsee it that way. Thanks for that.

      1. DarkoNeko

        you’re very welcome ^_^

    2. Cerberus

      This isn’t even her final form!

  17. Mordecai

    If anyone did that to my skates, I would engage in a proper bout of fisticuffs with said person.

    1. RZ

      yup! I don’t even skate anymore and I would still be livid. That’s a piece of high performance equipment you asshole!

    2. Mr.fat

      yeah imaybe dont be a dick and roll around in hallways

      1. Cerberus

        Still a high-priced piece of equipment. Still very much a crime, like, if she wanted to, she could call the cops on her type of crime (she won’t because she’s a punk).

  18. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays Van Halen’s “Jump” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. saltchocolate

      Yesssssssssssss!!!

  19. JessWitt

    I’m eagerly afraid to see where their little tussle will be heading.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      That should be a poll question with a Slipshine option.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        No.
        Multiple Slipshine options.

        1. Captain Button

          DoA: The X-rated Visual Novel version?

  20. Regina Phalange

    I’m so conflicted. Mary is obviously the worst, but…all she’s been trying to do is study, and the passive-aggressive revenge DID come after a rudely-interrupted attempt at a polite request to stop doing something disruptive and against the rules.

    1. Shiro

      Ehh. My issue with her in this one is that she skipped all the intermediate steps between polite request and destruction of personal property. Like, slow down there Satan, we’ve got some scale issues here.

      1. Regina Phalange

        True, but I’m not even sure this is destruction, per se. Carla said she can’t get the glue out, which sounds like more of an inconvenience if she puts in some work. I know she tossed out “ruined,” but I’m thinking that actually equates to adding some wear and tear. And it looks like the floor’s carpeted? That’ll add wear and tear too, so she can’t be too concerned about that.

        Again, Mary is the worst person in the universe. I just have a lot of sympathy for people who are trying to mind their own business and study.

        1. Shiro

          That’s a bit of a reach, imo. I’d rather believe what we’re being told straight out by the characters. Like I said up there, she could’ve taken steps like earplugs, heading to the library, or bringing authority figures into it who would’ve made Carla stop, and instead she chose to skip straight to property damage.

        2. Regina Phalange

          Well, we were told straight out that she can’t get the glue out, and that equals ruined. Unless Mary’s got industrial-strength, NASA glue in her room or something, it will behave as regular glue would. And there’s no way that regular glue would permanently ruin skates just because the wheels run over it. Carla is clearly angry and frustrated, so I wouldn’t call it a reach to assume she’s just saying “ruined” when she means “no longer in perfect condition.”

          Regarding what could have been done, Mary and Carla are both entitled jerks. Here, Mary thinks she is entitled to study in her own room under her own conditions (i.e. not wearing headphones), and Carla thinks she is entitled to skate wherever she pleases, just because she knows no one will stop her (and yes, no one will stop her unless Ruth just happens to be on patrol–that’s why she tauntingly told Mary to call the cops, because there’s little chance authority figures will care if there’s no alcohol or drugs and it;s the middle of the day). They both need to realize that concessions must be made to avoid conflict, but Mary’s idea of what she is entitled to is a lot more reasonable.

        3. Shiro

          That’d make sense if this were a documentary, but this is a comic. The narrative, through a character, is telling us the skates are ruined. I’m going to take that as given (or at the very least, that they’ll need professional repair and are unusable in their current state).

          The thing of it is, you can’t just skip straight to destruction of property anytime someone does something you don’t like. That’s how you get lawsuits. You need to be willing to go about it properly, and in that case, this means Ruth or her superior if she won’t do anything. Act like the civilized adult you’re supposed to be working on becoming.

        4. Regina Phalange

          Actually, exaggerated statements based on an emotional response are exactly what I would expect from a character in a fiction narrative. And this particular fiction narrative relies on realism frequently enough that I can assume that there was, in fact, glue in the tube labelled glue–something that can be removed by solvent regardless of strength, as noted below.

          I’ve noticed that people in the comments in general like to bring lawsuits and criminal offenses into debates. But these kids are in college, where people steal stuff from house parties for fun. No one is going to sue anyone, and college kids’ actions are often based on that. As for getting hit with a misdemeanor, when’s the last time that law was applied so liberally that putting glue on sneakers is a crime? There wasn’t even provable intent to destroy, and certainly no intent to injure (I doubt it was thought out that far).

          Finally, as I recall, Mary’s experience with authority has been that they will shut her down if they don’t feel like helping. Actually, more specifically, that Ruth will slap her across the face for asking that she do her job. Now in that particular situation, Mary asked very rudely and called her a very unChristianlike word, probably deserving it. But for someone who believes she is always right, what happened in Mary’s mind was that she approached her RA with a problem, and her RA smacked her. I’d stay outside a 20 ft range of that person, let alone avoid asking her help again.

        5. Shiro

          …wait, wait. Putting aside the part where you implied breaking the law is fine as long as you’re in college, how is coating something in glue not intent to destroy it? How is trying to trip someone who’s on skates not intent to injure? You’re making these logical leaps that I honestly can’t just go along with.

          I agree, Ruth is pretty bad at her job. But that’s why you go above her head. Then Mary gets the dual joy of getting an annoyance taken care of and getting Ruth chastised for not doing her job.

        6. Regina Phalange

          I’m not sure where the implication was that breaking the law is “fine” in college–I said that no one sues over such things in college. I only implied that the reason for this is commonplace, and kids act with the knowledge that they probably won’t suffer consequences (but an additional reason is because college kids don’t have the time or money to sue each other when people break things).

          Putting aside the fact that legally, intent is very hard to prove, no one would ever expect glue to destroy something simply with its presence. It’s not acid, or even rubber cement, where destruction is guaranteed. Additionally, tripping someone doesn’t mean you want to injure them, regardless of their speed. When police lay traps to puncture tires of getaway cars, is their intent to hurt the person driving? No, it’s to make them stop. And All we can ever conclude is that Mary wanted Carla to stop. We didn’t see her mutter to herself “maybe the glue will break the skates” or “maybe the glue will jam the wheels and make her fall”. Because we don’t see that, It’s a logical leap to assume that she wanted to do anything more than make her stop, because we got no indication of what she expected to happen when she used the glue. She could have been envisioning the aforementioned police trap, in which normally the car swerves but ultimately is unscathed. If we don’t even know, how could a law be applied when intent must be proven?

          This is clearly an RA thing. Anyone above Ruth would tell her to go to Ruth. If she says she can’t because Ruth hit her, it would either be ignored because wow that’s a liability for upper management if I ever saw one, or they’d bring Ruth down to sort out the whole “hitting residents” issue, by which time it would have been more trouble than it was worth. And there goes that time for studying as well.

        7. JQuire

          Ok, you know that when you’re talking about mens rea and showing intent, it’s generally not that you have to prove intent to actually cause injury or actually cause property damage – it’s intent to do the act which one knows or should know is likely to cause injury or destruction of property.

          And then there’s other mens rea standard like criminal negligence and recklessness which could equally apply.

          Police using stop strips don’t get around being criminal property damage because ‘the intent isn’t to damage the car being chased, it’s to stop it’ it’s because they have a justification in law for taking the action that causes the damage.

        8. Liliet

          It’s not a given that you can just get the glue out with a proper solvent, because the skates might well contain crucial components that rely on not coming in contact with said solvent. Carla can’t get the glue out without breaking the skates.

        9. Cerberus

          This. Things like super glue and rubber cement leave their marks and scars and tend to take parts of the things they are attached to off when they are removed and definitely change the overall shape.

          For something like roller skate wheels, where perfect lubed roundness is absolutely critical to their function, those skates are indeed “ruined”. More so if the gunk got internal into the bearings as cleaning that out is even more delicate and even more prone to being made inoperable with only minor deformations to fit.

          So unless Mary shot out a tube of Elmer’s at her, those skates are definitely fucked up enough that someone who gives a fuck about skates (and Carla very much gives a fuck about her skates) would consider them to be kaput and best replaced rather than made “maybe serviceable, in that they still technically roll” after the end of a grueling long cleaning session.

        10. Pat

          Stopping things that are supposed to go can break them.
          Attaching the skates to the carpet by definition must damage at least one of them, and probably both.

        11. Gordon

          Actually, I think a time elapse is implied by the wording. Mary has had time to settle back in to studying and Carla has had time to attempt fixing her skates. She can’t. They’re ruined.

          Therefore, destruction of property.

        12. Solenoid

          Glue can be removed by application of solvent. Get thee to the chemistry department!

        13. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          It might dissolve the skates as well, though.

        14. Cerberus

          It will dissolve the skates as well:

          “Krazy Glue can be removed with acetone. However, acetone is a pretty powerful solvent and can damage some types of plastic. A safer solvent is nitromethane that can usually be found at specialty hobby stores. Look for products called “de-bonders” containing the nitromethane component. Always be sure to test whatever solvent you choose on an inconspicuous area first to check for compatibility issues.”

          http://www.krazyglue.com/faqs/how-do-i-remove-krazy-glue-from-plastic-glasses-lens#.Vp1Jn8ArLyU

          At the very least you’ll be getting pitting, which may not matter much to a nine year old and their beloved old pair of well-loved skates full of chinks and dings, but to someone like Carla? Yeah, no, those skates are donezo.

        15. Regina Phalange

          It’s true that it’s implied she made an effort. And while I doubt Mary’s glue is simple Elmer’s stuff, it’s glue, not rubber cement. If there exists an example of glue physically capable of permanently ruining skates, I’ll believe that Carla spent more than half a minute picking at them, and they really are ruined.

        16. Liliet

          Two essential components got glued together, if you try to get them apart by force they’ll break before the glue does, and if you get solvent there something else essential will dissolve too.

          This ain’t rocket surgery.

        17. Mr.fat

          your right its not rocket surgery get some dam solvent and remove the glue…oh right i forgot these are magic skates that will dissolve in solvent or somehow break from solvent

        18. Cerberus

          Yes. Yes, they are “magic” in that they are either made of plastic or metal, both of which tend to react badly to solvents like acetone.

          And I’m sorry to disappoint the budding chemists out there who think they’ve got this wrapped up, but I teach chemistry classes and was a model builder for a while, so believe me when I say that misapplied super glue with something plastic is a sonuvabongo. Hell, most solvents also fuck with paint as well, making it look like a scarred mess.

        19. Shiro

          I think that’s the first time I’ve heard someone refer to plastic as “magic” without being some sort of displaced medieval peasant.

        20. Pat

          I am 100% certain that there is no glue incapable of permanently ruining them, including Elmer’s.

          Also, “can be repaired” wouldn’t make it not destruction of property.

    2. altalemur

      in the interaction between two humans, there is almost never one clear morally innocent party and one clearly terrible person. Carla doesn’t have to be some kinda innocent bystander to Mary’s maliciousness. she would be a believable character if she was. Carla was super happy about new skates and was basically holding a fist in front of her in a “don’t get in the way of my happiness” gesture. on a personal level, i can totally get behind that. Mary was trying to study, but feels that she’s entitled to hurt everyone around her in whatever “them’s your comeuppance” way she can create. i’m going to sit back and enjoy this interaction of two totally imperfect people.

      1. Cerberus

        Just bouncing off this, because I genuinely do still think it’s sad that she lost that unbridled joy because of some asshole who thinks “I’m being annoyed” is a license to get violent.

        As I said in a previous comic, trans people are in general not allowed to be overwhelmingly happy in society, largely due to social stigmas and general bigotry. (And note to anyone who wants the same argument as then, I don’t think being trans is a get out of jail free card for rule breaking, Mary should have told an authority figure and the authority figure should have said knock it the fuck off)

        Carla got to experience that for a moment, that unbridled joy, before some rule-worshipping a-hole took that from her by escalating a bit of sassy fun into criminal actions. And I find that really sad.

    3. Time Sage

      If you want total silence you’re probably better off going somewhere else on camups, like the library/

      1. Mr.fat

        i know how indecent of mary for her to want a place that is also her home somewhat quiet. you people act as if skating inside is somehow normal its not,obviously mary had no problem with general dorm noise and it wasnt until carla the douche decided to break the rules and create a bad environment.

        1. Cerberus

          Yes. It is indecent. She is not in some suburban home in a quiet retirement community where a twitch-nosed CCC is ready to enforce the slightest sign of kids playing outside or unregulated noise.

          She’s in a dorm. Apartment living with thin walls and kids experiencing adult freedom for the first time in their lives. Hell, in my quiet apartment complex mostly filled with families, there’s all manner of bizarre day-time noise. Kids running, people screaming, loud music blaring, kids doing tricks on skateboards over on the curb or on the railings. And that’s in a community of adults.

          Make this a college dorm a month into the year? Fuck, she should just be glad it was just one person skating and not an impromptu game of human bowling (yes, this occurred when I was in the dorms) or something else even more distracting.

          And that’s sort of the point of dorms. It’s taking a bunch of kids who often come from richer families where they may have been used to having massive space and distance from their peers and any form of noise and so the dorms is where they get to learn to live with others and the skills they will need to survive the adult apartment-living world where they will probably need housemates and roommates just to pay rent.

        2. Time Sage

          You’ll never get that when you live in a building with that many people. If she spent all day antonizeing every loud person she could hear from her dorm room she’d never get any studying done or have time for class. She should just go elsewhere.

  21. TK421

    Alternate title: Escalation

  22. LimeSheep

    i cant believe mary is a vampire this explains everything

  23. Saaaam

    two great hates that taste hate together

  24. Plasma Mongoose

    When assholes collide…

    1. Tacos

      That sounds like the name of a porno… >.>U

  25. Benjy

    Welp, you heard it from Word of God, Mary is a vampire. Make of her Christianness as you will.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      So… she’s a member of the Lancea et Sanctum?
      What clan, I wonder… probably Ventrue or Nosferatu. My money’s on the latter.

      1. Captain Button

        Naah, Ventrue. Classic Ventrue versus Brujah feuding.

        1. Benjy

          So THAT’S why I can’t stand her.

    2. Rukduk

      Maybe she serves the Van Hellsing family and kills Catholics and other Vampires at the behest of the British government? (Please dear God let someone get that reference)

      1. KarkatTheDalek

        Follow her @TheCrimsonFuckr on Twitter.

        1. Rukduk

          Yay someone got it!

  26. Jay Eff

    *Reads Alt Text*

    She also wears her sunglasses at night..

  27. Dana

    You know, they’re both bongos, but I don’t think Mary would be any fun at a drum circle.

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      oh haha I see what you did there. Clever.

  28. Weebles

    I know Mary’s awful, but Carla’s also being awful here. I am sure there are neighbors who are annoyed at both of these people being awful in the hallway. :/

    1. Someone

      If I was in that hallway, I would actually hate Carla more. Basically because I would have no idea what was going on, but i would be really pissed at someone for jumping up and down in roller-skates.

    2. Taigan

      Yeah, at some point Ruthless is going to have to intervene because all her power comes from having a reputation for keeping her floor quiet. Carla’s bouncing is probably reverberating through several floors of the building.

    3. Sam

      They’re both awful.

      But Mary has literally multiple authorities she could have reported to about the original issue and chose not to. If she’d been able to subdue her crazy urges for vengeance Carla might actually have gotten in trouble and no one would have wrecked skates to complain about.

      So I’d still place Mary higher on the awful scale but yeah, they’re both awful. *Shrug*

      1. Regina Phalange

        Definitely both awful. But to be fair, this is clearly an RA issue. Any other authority would tell Mary to talk to her RA, because they love to pass off this kind of stuff.

        Last time Mary asked Ruth to address a situation, she got slapped across the face. She was crazy rude about it and totally deserved it, but she was still hit in the face, and no doubt doesn’t understand what she did to deserve it: why would she try the same thing twice?

        1. segnosaur

          Not only that… in a comic where Ruth was talking to Amber about her dad, she said her “Door was always open, except when its not… which is always”.

          That kind of suggests that, while Ruth may like throwing her authority around when she’s wandering in the halls, she’s actually pretty useless as an RA, and probably has little interest in dealing with real problems.

      2. Emily

        Going to the authorities only applies when the authorities are not willfully incompetent aka Ruth.

    4. Emily

      Mary’s only being awful to Carla right now but Carla is being awful to everyone within hearing range.

      1. Liliet

        But Carla’s being low key temporarily awful while Mary was mega grade permanently awful.

        Depending on how you calculate awfulness, they are pretty comparable.

        (And I have much less sympathy for Mary, because RUINED PROPERTY is a much harder rule in my head)

        1. Emily

          I am calculating it within this incident because how much of a jackass Mary is outside of it doesn’t really change how right or wrong she is in this case it just changes how willing you are to overlook shitty behaviour because you don’t like the target.

          I really don’t have a lot of sympathy for RUINED PROPERTY when you were using that property improperly and to intentionally be an asshole. If you use something to bug the shit out of someone and they break it to make you stop well then tough cookies maybe if you hadn’t been acting like a child you wouldn’t have had your toy confiscated like a child.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          Mary’s “mistake” is not pulling a Raidah

          but then, she’d need friends or influence for that, huh

        3. Cerberus

          The law views that differently.

          I have handled it differently as a teacher. Hell, you have to. Destruction of stuff tends to be the sort of thing parents demand reparation or at least contrition from.

          Plus, you really don’t want to set up a society or classroom where students think “he was annoying me” is a justification for violence.

        4. Pat

          Have you mistaken Mary for Carla’s well-intentioned parent?
          Because she is neither.

  29. Zagreus

    #marywasright

  30. TamiDOA

    All the noise is going to bring the Wrath of Ruth down upon them. My guess is that her cruel solution will be to move Mary in with Carla. (I’ve been shipping them since the start of Round 1.)

    1. Carolyn

      Considering Carla is transgender and Mary is a fundamentalist, that could end VERY badly. Never mind the fact that I seriously doubt Ruth has any authority over their actual room arrangements.

      1. Someone

        You really think Mary gives a crap what she has control over?

      2. TamiDOA

        Or it could end VERY well with a major mind shift for Mary. (Kind of a recurring theme in this comic.) But yeah, I’m very sure Ruth doesn’t have authority over room assignments. That doesn’t mean she won’t try to do it.

        1. Someone

          I’m hoping for that, Mary’s young theres still a chance.

      3. Tacos

        Not to mention, isn’t Carla living in a single dorm?

      4. Cerberus

        Yeah, this. Carla hasn’t done anything awful enough to deserve that literally dangerous to her health hell.

    2. Emily

      I don’t think RA’s have the power to reassign rooms.

      1. TamiDOA

        This is Ruth we’re talking about. She doesn’t “have the power” to have alcohol in her room, trip people for running in the hall, have a relationship with one of the students on her floor, threaten people’s femurs etc. She has a much power as she can get away with. Maybe it will catch up with her someday, but if it’s like the real world, then probably not.

        1. Emily

          I don’t think this is something she can get away with though especially since it’s Mary and she’s pretty much guaranteed to raise a stink over it. The administration may be willing to overlook most of Ruth’s indiscretions but that kind of ridiculously blatant abuse of authority isn’t something they can safely ignore. Really she’s already opening them up to all kinds of problems if a parent catches wind that one of their RAs is an alcoholic sadist.

        2. TamiDOA

          And if Mary gets the administration involved, all four (Mary, Carla, Ruth, & Billie) are going to be out of the dorm. All have committed significant violations of dorm policies. That’s why it was dumb for Mary and Carla to escalate.

        3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          And why it’s a given it will happen.

  31. Bard1cKnowledge

    two things,

    1) I just learned that i live near a restaurant and bar named…….Faz. He wishes to please my taste buds with his subtly sexy culinary arts

    2) I place $50 on stickshi-….Ultraca-……Spiderca-…….Carla

  32. Carms

    battle of the assholes- who will win? likeable asshole or unlikeable asshole??

    1. Someone

      but they both have such likable assholes! as the slipshine will show us soon

    2. lejwocky

      this sounds like it could be the plot of an early John Waters film

  33. Rob

    “I’M NOT IN THE HALL”
    “shut up both of you, I’m tying to watch Hymmel.”

    1. cesium133

      Mary: “Why would you want to watch that garbage?”
      Voice from down the hall: “Because of the cute mouse boys.”
      Joyce: “Goddamn it Dorothy, you said you’d pretend we never saw that!”

  34. Bicycle Bill

    I don’t think Ruth will be able to ignore this.  Somebody — either on her floor or the one below it — is bound to complain about the stomping.

    And just for the record — the problem with the glue in the wheels could more than likely be resolved with a bearing clean-and-repack (if loose ball-bearings) or a bearing replacement (if a sealed-bearing system).  Were it me, I would just do the repack/replacement and present Mary with the bill for the materials required.

    1. Uniqueantique

      And watch Mary stomp up and down on the bill 🙂

  35. brasca1

    As much as I don’t like Mary I really can’t side with Carla and while she did ruin her skates Ruth would have done worse.

  36. brumagem

    At this point it’s just fun watching these two jerks who can’t stand the thought of letting the other one win.

  37. Pierre-Eric

    They’re both grinding XP to level their Troll class at a ridiculous rate.
    /nerd

  38. Bicycle Bill

    Although if Carla keeps jumping up and down like that she’s going to cause the jammed bearings to pound little dimples (a process known as “brinelling”) into the bearing race, meaning she’ll have to replace them as well.  And since with roller skate wheels they are usually an integral part of the wheels themselves, she’ll have to replace wheels, bearings, and all.

    1. heyman

      Brinelling the aces would depend on how strong that glue is.

      1. Captain Button

        “Brinelling the Aces” is the name of my next band.

    2. Cerberus

      I’m pretty sure wheels and bearings are already fucked and in need of a replacement, so at this point it’s just a matter of degrees of damage before replacement.

  39. Dorje Sylas

    Unless those skates cost $250 or more, glueing the wheels isn’t even a Class A misdemeanor for criminal mischief. However, deliberating setting out to trip Carla while skating is a very different issue and actually criminal.

    Mary could have used a “feature” phone to record Carla, but then Mary wouldn’t have a place to expend her vitriol.

    1. Regalli

      Given Carla’s an enthusiast, they very well could be.

      And yeah, the key here is the expending vitriol.

  40. Memyself

    Carla really is a terrible person, isn’t she?

  41. tim gueguen

    This has potential to be a huge mess. Mary might try to blackmail Ruth, with her knowledge that something is afoot between Ruth and Billie, if Ruth doesn’t do something about Carla that meets her satisfaction. How Ruth will react to threats will depend on her state of mind. If she’s in a bad place when Mary confronts her she may tell Mary to go ahead and contact the administration.

    1. RP

      Ooh, I bet that is where this is going.

  42. inqntrol

    Serves you right Mary. Next time, buy some earplugs and you can study without being distracted.

    1. Memyself

      Yeah, she should have to accommodate the awful rude person, not the other way around.

    2. Pinja

      Because everyone knows the place to skate is the dorm hallway

  43. Uniqueantique

    Both Carla and Mary are assholes.
    Carla is immature for deliberately skating in the hall.
    Mary is abrasive for making a big deal out of it, the hall is carpeted, she couldn’t have been making that much noise.

    I think that Carla is an immature jerk for taunting Mary and then ignoring her reasonable request to stop skating in the hall.

    Of the two, I think Mary is far the worse here. She is violent – as she tripped Carla purposely and that could have resulted in broken bones at worse or one hell of a rug burn at best. Mary is destructive: she managed to damage Carla’s skates with the glue trap.

    The two of them are incapable, apparently, of acting rationally when it comes to wanting what they want when they want it. Regardless of anyone else’s needs.

    I wouldn’t waste personal time on either one of them as they are now. They may grow up. I have hopes for Carla, she’s just immature. Mary is just plain bone mean imo.

    Ruth does have a perfectly valid reason to come down hard on both of them.

    1. Bard1cKnowledge

      in the name of Sterling Archer. PHRASING!

    2. Liliet

      This is basically exactly my opinion (except that ‘not wasting personal time’ thing, I guess I’m just more generous with my time)

    3. Cerberus

      Oh hell yes. Finally a critique of Carla that gets to her fundamental flaw.

      She’s an immature bratty kid. She’s a punk, but she’s also a dumbass goofball prone to taking stupid chances and definitely always willing to get a rise out of someone (see her interactions with Sal when she was convinced that Sal couldn’t skate).

      She’s in fact the very definition of immature, right down to the taunting and doing dumb stuff in the halls. And she’s definitely in a head space of “fuck the world” (which is sadly probably well-earned given that she’s a trans woman who must have come out in high school in central Indiana) like a lot of dumb punk kids in their teens have to grow out of.

      So yeah, everything you said.

      Carla, in my opinion, strikes me as someone who would be really cool to hang out with in like a year or two once she gets a little more serious, and who’s got a lot of potential so long as you don’t trip her bratty side or trigger her reflexive anti-authoritarianism.

      Mary, though? Mary needs to change to be at all sufferable. Right now, she’s a bigot who is very much of the opinion that the rest of the world is made to serve her and her whims. Ruth must put down everything she is doing and solve her crisis right now. Carla must cease her amusement so that she does not have to move down the hall. Joyce should stop hanging out with Agatha because Agatha belongs to the wrong religion and thus is tainted. And no amount of retribution can be unjustified if they have sinned against her.

      It’s the mentality of a petty-minded religious bully and sadly, there’s not the same social structures in place to encourage people to grow out of that. If Mary refuses to undergo the hard work of a Becky or a Joyce, she’ll just be that annoying neighbor who calls the cops because kids are playing in the road and protesting “Brave New World” in schools because it acknowledges sex occurs.

  44. Uniqueantique

    And God help her if Mary should try to do as someone suggested and blackmail Ruth with her knowledge of Billie and Ruths relationship.
    She’d be hunting for her femurs for days.

    1. Buhzim

      Ruth would probably back off. If Mary bothered keeping tabs on them, she must have gathered some pretty juicy blackmail material by now.

      1. Cerberus

        I dunno, Ruth is very self-destructive and not a big fan of people trying to bully or hound her (after all, her first violent response to Mary’s attempt to reach out to her was caused by Mary trying to treat her like a servant who would drop everything to sort out her personal crisis).

        I can totally see her responding to a Mary threat of outing with a “well, you have to do what you have to do, now, for me, I have to do what I have to do, so would you like to lose your right or left femur first?”

        1. Buhzim

          Ruth goes as far as staging fights with Billie to maintain appearances of normalcy, which is a lot coming from someone with an extra low tolerance to bullshit like her. Slapping Mary for being an annoyance is one thing, but if Mary seriously threatened her with heavy stuff like “tons of alcohol smuggled inside the dorm” and “sleeping with a student under her care”, I imagine she would swallow her pride and walk away. Smacking Mary might provide a moment of satisfaction but really not worth getting kicked out.

  45. TamiDOA

    Much arguing over who’s right and wrong. They’re both wrong. The real problem now is neither is thinking what the other will do if they escalate it further. It’s like a game of chicken. And they may both end up mangled in the middle of the road.

  46. WingedBeast

    Oh, Carla. You could have reported Mary for tripping you.

    Mary, before that, you could have reported Carla for roller-skating in a dorm.

    But, now, Carla, you’ve put the reporting power back in Mary’s hand.

    And, Mary, you don’t even have to report. Just close the door and wait for Ruthless to handle it.

    The two of you are in college, at least in part, to learn to be grownups. Start learning!

    1. Emily

      Report to who? Their incompetent and hostile RA? Because that’s who any higher authority is gonna tell them to take this up with and we’ve all seen how well trying to get Ruth to actually do her damn job goes.

      1. WingedBeast

        Like I said, she doesn’t have to report anything. If Ruth is caught not dealing with that quickly, yeah things go wrong for her.

    2. DarkoNeko

      Last time Mary reported something to Ruth, she got a dick slapped on her face.

      1. RP

        To be fair, the slap happened because Mary started yelling and insulting Ruth when Ruth said she wasn’t going to do anything about the drawings. She didn’t get slapped just for making a complaint.

        But yes, it makes sense that Mary wouldn’t want to go to Ruth with this.

        1. tim guegue

          Mary was possibly also about to call Ruth a word that begins with c and rhymes with shunt. More likely it was cow, but one can never be sure with Mary.

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/male-anatomy/

        2. Mr.fat

          right cause being called a word mean you get to assault someone

    3. Cerberus

      Carla was never going to report.

      Carla has no respect for authority and definitely doesn’t believe it will come to her aid in a crisis (which is sadly a lesson probably well learned given the typical treatment of trans kids in schools and trans people by cops).

      This was always where that escalation was going to end up and it’s going to continue to escalate until Ruth comes stomping in and puts a stop to it one way or another.

  47. newllend(henryvolt)

    I’m loving this fude.

  48. Jason

    That dorm room door is really huge.

    1. Bard1cKnowledge

      the better to peek at my monster of an R.A my dear

  49. Hopeless Savage

    Mary is just this glourious mesh of every terrible bongoy person ever, isn’t she?

    1. Drakey

      Forget the bongos, she’s Neil Peart’s ridiculous rotating drumset.

  50. Thor

    I love how everyone here is *still* bringing up fine points of law, both civil and physical. The only law that applies here is the Law of Funny. Here’s how we know. If Carla was jumping up and down so hard that it transmits all the way into Mary’s room, it is also going to trasmit into other people’s rooms as well, including those one floor down. However, the only one who comes out to see what the ruckus is, is Mary, because if anyone else came out, they would distract from these two’s comedy routine. And if anyone else *does* come out later, it will be to serve whatever the scene needs to escalate the funny.

    1. Rowen Morland

      Isn’t this also a setup for Ruth (who is on the prowl) do do a dynamic entry flying punch into Carla in the next comic?

      1. Emily

        No, it’s gotta be the fully horizontal flying kick.

        1. Cerberus

          RKO out of nowhere?

        2. Rukduk

          Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this. Although I couldn’t decide between that or “Superman punch!”

  51. Historyman68

    What do vampires study?

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      They study for their blood tests of course!

      1. Spencer

        Caaarlooos

      2. Bicycle Bill

        Here, Mr. Morningstar, have an internet.

  52. Sabrina

    Yeah this pretty much sums up freshman year dorm interactions to a T. o__o

    1. Cerberus

      Yep. Can’t count the number of times I heard some inexplicable noise from the halls, looked down the halls, blinked twice, and then just threw on some headphones.

      Teens+1st taste of freedom+social peer pressure+drugs/alcohol= some really weird shit.

  53. Bagge

    The epic saga continues!

  54. Pr Vanessa

    Right in front of Ruth’s room…

    1. Cerberus

      Yeah, this is catty-cornered to Ruth and Ruth is already patrolling the halls, so it’s really just an inevitability at this point that Ruth is going to make her presence felt.

  55. Aeron

    I’m just a little bit mesmerized by Carla’s ponytail bobbing.

    1. Rukduk

      I know right. Honestly, in panel five she straight up looks like an angry Athena or similar war goddess.

      1. tim guegue

        Carla probably has a Xena outfit hidden in her room someplace.

      2. Cerberus

        Cry havoc and let slip the ponytails of war!

    2. DarkoNeko

      It really deserves a gif.

  56. Lia47

    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT kiss kiss kiss

  57. Gamaran Sepudomyn

    On the positive side, I’ve been stockpiling cute animal pictures (and something to scare Yotomoe with) for when this all goes really wrong.

    Also, why are people sympathizing with Mary? Yeah, it’s really annoying that people aren’t quiet, but not only is ruining someone’s property and possibly injuring said person completely out of proportion, but if someone rollerskating is that noticeable, then the dorms are about as quiet as can be.

    1. Liliet

      Same omg. This is kidnergarten level thinking, and yeah, Carla wasn’t much better, but what Carla did also WAS NOT A BIG DEAL.

      1. Cerberus

        This! So much!

        Like, grade-school kids are the ones who think “he was being annoying” is an excuse for violence. By high-school, most kids have realized that’s bollocks and the only ones who don’t are the bullies trying to argue that little Johnny “gaying up the joint like a little (homophobic slur)” is a transgression deserving of violence.

        Mary’s dialogue is like verbatim a lot of kids I used to handle when I taught young young kids. “But Johnny broke the rules. He did!”. Well, that might be the case, but you still don’t get to hit him, now apologize to him and then why don’t you join up with this group over here.

  58. Stompinstein

    Wheeeee.

  59. Adam Black

    Willis, i dont ask for much
    ( OK Im am hoping weekend At Joyces is quick and painless )
    But i am totes predicting 500 people defending Marys rights against Carla , and I m sure its Not because shes Trans, uts becuase they hate ultracar or fell in love with Mary yeserday. or jesus demands it or something.

    so heres my request… Ban them. As a Mary lover myself, I want them banned. Not even out of principle , but purely out of the the collective spirit Carla and Mary : sanctimony and smarm and spite. Its what they would want.
    Do it for the characters. ITs what they would want.
    ( Mary would ban everyone but Republican jesus, and Carla just for lolz …
    Actually..
    Carla would turn their comments into DingDongs. Since that would enrage Mary, you should do that. )

    Other than that your comic is perfect, i have no complaints.
    Carry on…

    1. David M Willis

    2. Emily

      Dude I’M trans and I still think Carla is being a fucking unbearable asshat right now. She’s escalated from annoying Mary to annoying half the damn building now.

      1. timemonkey

        You can’t really say that until other people are actually annoyed.

        1. Clif

          Also you can’t say that because you’ve been banned at Adam’s request.

        2. Emily

          Nah, I can safely say that a substantial number of people are not going to be thrilled about “STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP” in their living space.

    3. Mr. Morningstar

      What are you even saying

    4. Buhzim

      “Ban 500 people, pls”

      “ok”

    5. Cerberus

      Dude, I even agree with the bit that some of the Carla hate might have a little to do with her marginalized status as a trans woman and her punk attitude and even I think that’s a completely idiotic idea.

  60. Rukduk

    Yay! I’ve been hoping for more of these two. Also, Carla’s hair bobbing up and down is quite amazing. Although I do keep waiting for a “1up” symbol to appear above her head.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      You’re gonna be waiting for a long time considering she isn’t jumping on enemies’ heads without touching the ground.

  61. dailybrad

    Carla is very cute and I like her making Mary miserable.

  62. Kenny

    She is going to go to the RA and walk in on Ruth and Billie and shits going to go down!

    1. Spencer

      She’s almost definitely going to use her dirt on Ruth to coerce her into getting Carla to stop.

      I’d feel bad if Ruth didn’t totally deserve it.

  63. caesaria82

    Carla, my love :3 I’ve missed you and I’m glad you’re ok after that Mary-induced faceplant, though sadly your skates don’t seem to be.

    I don’t even care if Carla’s behaviour might be annoying, I just love her so much. She could annoy me any day. If you know what I mean. (… I am not sure I even know what I mean, I am basically just incoherent over my love for Carla today xD)

    1. Cerberus

      Yeah, ditto on that. I’d be super in the tank for Carla just from a representation angle (she’s a fellow trans ace and the only one I’ve ever seen in fiction, though there are media creators who are fellow trans aces). But the fact that she’s also a badass who isn’t afraid of wearing short shorts and riding on roller skates that make her taller and wearing tank tops that de-emphasize her boobs make me love her even more.

      Given her comments to Amber and her character history, you know she’s got to have been through some shit, but she’s decided to respond to that by embracing everything the world sent at her to try and break her down. Social isolation? Cool, she’ll be an abrasive punk. Tallness outs her? Fuck it, she’ll strap some skates on her legs to be even taller. World demands she be afraid of the staggering statistics for trans women and receiving violence? Who cares, she’s going to be a loud bright goofball out alone at night and pick fights with bullies.

      She’s this beautiful fearless role model with enough human flaws to still be relatable. And it makes a character who was awesome, but a bit of a dick in the old universe into someone you’d want to have a beer with in 2 in-comic years.

      1. caesaria82

        I love this comment so much and I agree with everything. Also, she’s like way cute. Like way, way cute 😉

  64. Arianod

    Unstoppable force vs unmovable object?

  65. Torra

    … I kind of ship it?

  66. Mr. Random

    Just a pair of assholes, being assholes.
    Let’s watch!

    1. Clif

      Let’s go get Mike to see what he can contribute.

      1. TamiDOA

        No sane person would want to get pulled into this fight. Luckily for us there few sane people in this dorm.

  67. Liz

    Ah, good! Comedic screaming continues.

  68. NotLegato

    please make her suffer more. just, ten strips of bullying her, pls.

  69. Jack Stamper

    Okay, this pretty much cements it that both are being incredibly inconsiderate and deserve what’s coming to them. Preferably Ruth walking around and hanging them by their underwear out of her room. Next to each other, so they still have to talk with each other…might even call that pedagogical.

    Seriously though, Mary destroyed or at least damaged her skates, so she has to replace or repair them. That’s not only fair, it’s the law. But Carla has to be punished as well: You can always say rules like not skating or yelling in the hallway aren’t that important, but they are there exactly for this reason: To not disturb those who want to study.

    Neither of them have my sympathy.

  70. Untes

    Debonder?
    Then again, I guess most people not into hobby stuff would know that there’s debonder available. 🙁

    1. tim guegue

      Its usability in this case might depend on what Carla’s skate wheels are made of.

  71. Drakey

    People seem to be mostly under the impression that Mary did “a little bit of property damage.” but that Carla kinda deserved it.

    Lemme put this in perspective: I once bought a car for less than I would expect to pay for Carla’s skates.
    A.
    Car.

    Mary did at least a hundred dollars worth of damage there. Given that those are quad skates, which tend to be harder to find, and that Carla is enough of an enthusiast to get very, very, very good equipment, we’re realistically talking about two, three, possibly four hundred dollars.

    Carla isn’t exactly in the right, but she’s one hell of a lot less wrong than Mary. And no, those skates are no more an acceptable “idiot tax” than if Carla had destroyed all of Mary’s textbooks. Those skates way well be the most expensive thing Carla owns.

    Carla deliberately annoyed the hell out of Mary, and Mary did as much property damage as if she’d chucked a laptop out of a third-floor window. One of these things is something you could reasonably press charges about, and it’s not the skating in the hall.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      “I once bought a car for less than I would expect to pay for Carla’s skates.”

      “we’re realistically talking two, three, possibly four hundred dollars.”

      The hell kind of cars are YOU buying?

      1. Buhzim

        Probably a wooden box mounted on top of a skate.

        1. Drakey

          A first car. I bought it because it had a lot of potential to be pretty, but the bodywork never got finished and there was no way I would be able to move it cross-country from Milwaukee to Portland Oregon. I left it with my dad, and it eventually went completely kaput on him.

      2. Captain Button

        Cars that run (for now) and are street-legal, but no more than that.

      3. Bicycle Bill

        I paid $100 for my first car.
        Granted, that was back in the ’70s, and I had to put another three-four hundred in it to fix it up to be able to run it, but still…..

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          I assumed if Drakey paid $500 for a car then it certainly was not in 2016 dollars. My sister paid $750 for a car in 2015 from some random person she knew… It didn’t last a week.

        2. Drakey

          2008. It needed repair a lot, but it was still a car. An actual, honest-to-goodness car, with tires and windows and an engine and everything.

    2. RZ

      $5-10 cushions
      $7 for laces (and you always get spares!)
      $20 for toestops
      $40 for competition bearings
      $80 for wheels (more if you like different hardness for your inside and outside wheels)
      $100 for aluminium plates
      $400 for a leather boot

      So yeah. You can easily end up spending $700 on skates.

    3. Cerberus

      I would very much agree with you that they very much are probably the most expensive thing she owns minus maybe her phone or her computer. She’s got the aesthetic of a DIY punk, so extrapolate as you will.

      Also, echoing the comments surprised at getting a car for only a couple hundred. Like, damn.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Nobody ever claimed they were GOOD cars, or a car in good condition….

  72. drai

    How does Mary study when her room is pitch-black?

    1. Captain Button

      Scanning sense. Mary is Daredevil!

      1. inqntrol

        I would have said Batman. ‘Cuz he can do everything.

        1. Spencer

          Mary is the Hush to Joyce’s Batman.

    2. Cerberus

      She just glares at the page until the knowledge retreats into her brain.

  73. Andrew

    Oh just kiss already.

  74. ischemgeek

    Carla and Mary are what happens when you stick someone who never grew out of being the third grad class clown in an enclosed space with someone who never grew out of being the sanctimonious jerk.

    I predict at least one of them drawing blood soon.

    1. Captain Button

      Well, since everyone is saying Mary is a vampire…

  75. Charles RB

    It just hit me that if Ruth comes out and finds out what happened, she’d probably go “you tried to destroy the skates? GOOD WORK, MARY! I thought you sucked but you’re alright!”

    1. RP

      Hah! That’s a good point. We *are* talking about someone who thought destroying personal property (and breaking and entering to get at the property) was a legit response to not getting paperwork on time.

      Ruth is likely going to care more about the fact that Carla broke form rules than the fact that Mary broke a law to retaliate.

      1. segnosaur

        Not only that, she also threw Joyce’s gloves out the window, just because she didn’t like Joyce’s attempts to “be cool” like Sal.

    2. Cerberus

      That’s quite likely. Especially since Carla is making the noise right now and Ruth is very much a “what is annoying me right this second” kind of girl.

      Though Mary could still Mary it up if she tries to threaten Ruth with outing or treats her like a servant again.

    3. John

      Nah, Ruth is entirely willing to be capricious and vengeful based solely on personal dislike of the person in question. And I don’t think her opinion of Carla has come up, but she really hates Mary. (Either that or she wants to bang her. It’s hard to tell with Ruth.) Also, the glue would’ve gotten not only in the skates, but in the hall carpet, and that’s Ruth’s responsibility.

      I’m expecting something like, “You! Stop skating in the hallway. You! You’re paying for the replacement skates, the replacement carpet, and, for getting dorm administration on my case for bullshit pranks again, forty lashes with a broken beer bottle.”

      1. Cerberus

        Given Ruth’s history, it’s probably both/and on the hating/wanting to fuck thing.

  76. Renee J

    Both these girls need to just shut up. People are trying to study.

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      Early-mid afternoon on a Friday? (The gender studies class just got out, so that’s what time it is). I’d probably rather watch a comic feud between two jerks escalate.

      1. JQuire

        Huh. I didn’t think about timing….assuming that the storyline strips in this arc are all sequential and not running (mostly) parallel to one another, the initial gluing must have occurred an hour or two prior to this comic. Which bolsters the position of all those commenters further up arguing that Carla has probably made some efforts to get the glue out.

      2. Cerberus

        Yeah, this isn’t 2am on a Sunday or 11pm during finals week. It’s like you say, early mid-afternoon on a Friday about a month into semester.

        Mary has about 2-3 hours tops before the sound of drunken parties and loud music drown out any of their bullshit.

  77. Willoughby Chase

    The collision of worlds when Mary kisses Carla is going to be a firework display of massive proportions.

    I wonder what the bible has to say about trans people?

    1. Clif

      It generally favors those who have transcended.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        Ker-boom, and Ker-pow if you will!

        *puts on steel helmet*

      2. Cerberus

        Heh. Nice.

        But to answer Willoughby Chase:
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/genderidentity/

        Because clearly, there are men or there are women and so it is called upon all good Christians to make sure that none get confused about their proper role in life.

  78. Buhzim

    Carla is a glutton for punishment, it’s hard to feel sympathy for the kid complaining about getting punched if he spent the last hour poking people and telling them WHY, WHAT YOU GUNNA DO LOL whenever they asked him to stop.

    1. timemonkey

      Carla’s not looking for your sympathy.

      1. Buhzim

        Yeah, she’s looking for an ass-kicking instead. Doesn’t look like it will take very long if “let’s annoy this angry person to see what happens” is her way of dealing with boredom.

        1. Cerberus

          She’s probably used to getting “ass-kickings” simply for existing. I mean, she’s trans in central Indiana and clearly came out High School or earlier given that no one who remembers her from the previous year remembers her as trans.

          This is honestly, quite probably her means of dealing with that and trying to reclaim more of her agency. Like, if I’m going to get my ass kicked, let it actually be for something and because I stood up for myself and gave back instead of just because I tried to exist in peace.

          And it’s also why she probably doesn’t give a fuck about Mary’s petty garbage. Like, really, girl? You want to whine about your studying on a Friday afternoon and bullshit dorm rules? How quaint a concern to have.

        2. Buhzim

          It’s a shame about her past but nobody in this place is giving her grief so I don’t see why they have to be her escape valve. If she wants to challenge authority she can go flip Ruth the bird and try to survive. Sal does the cool rebel thing without making it into a circus act.

        3. Cerberus

          It’s not that they are her escape valve, it’s that she’s not of the mind to just be pushed around, even if that pushing is relatively minor.

  79. Spencer

    So many folks arguing over who’s right and I’m just wondering when these two are going to perform an extended homage to What’s Opera, Doc.

    1. Willoughby Chase

      “What did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?”

      1. inqntrol

        “I’ll kill the wabbit!”

      2. Spencer

        It’s weird knowing how “Nimrod” went from the name of a biblical figure to being a go-to description for an idiot because of that cartoon.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          The Biblical character Nimrod (son of Cush, grandson of Ham, great-grandson of Noah) was described in Genesis as “… a mighty warrior on the Earth. He was a mighty hunter before the LORD…”

          So actually, Bugs was using it correctly — although in an ironic sense.  It’s the rest of the world that didn’t know any better that thought it was a made-up word of ridicule; a fallacy reinforced years later by Robin Williams’ creation of a similar word, “nimnul”.

    2. Cerberus

      Damn it, now I’m just imaging Carla in bunny ears going “what’s up, doc?”

  80. tim guegue

    An MP3 player, her phone, or some other source of music should have been Mary’s first line of defense. Wear some earbuds or headphones and she might have been able to ignore Carla’s noise.

    1. segnosaur

      As I pointed out last time these 2 people were featured in the comic…Not everyone studies well when listening to music. I know that when I need to concentrate on something, music is distracting. (The only time when I do listen to music is when I’m doing something repetitive…)

      Some other people have suggested she get ‘noise cancelling headphones’. But why assume students will have those? I know when I went to university I didn’t bother buying anything like that. Not like it would be a standard thing that people carry these days.

      1. RZ

        Library? The dorm is for living. It’s nice to be able to study there, but people have dorm parties and it’s not a designated quiet study space. No sympathy for a $300-700 vandalism.

        1. segnosaur

          yes, that was one of the arguments people made when the 2 of them first started this latest arc… “Mary can go to the Library”, or “go to study rooms”. However, doing so would be an inconvenience… it takes away from time that would be spent studying, and its possible that the person studying needs more stuff (e.g. multiple text books, etc.) than could reasonably be carried.

          Also, I actually looked up the regulations (the student’s handbook is posted on line)… while the middle of the day is not considered “mandatory quiet time”, anyone who is making noise and is asked to stop is required to do so immediately (which, I believe Mary’s “could you not?” would be classified as.)

          So, Mary was definitely in the wrong for vandalizing Carla’s skates, but when the story arc started, Mary had a valid complaint.

        2. Cerberus

          If you remember all that, then you also remember that the study rooms are literally down the hall. She doesn’t have to move for shit to be in a quiet area conducive to her learning.

          But then, the study areas don’t let you turn off all the lights like a vampire, so maybe it really is an imposition for her.

          But yeah, I agree she started the arc with a valid complaint. Shame that she decided to Mary it instead.

        3. Cerberus

          Rereading this, that ended up way more catty then I intended, so, sorry for that.

  81. Psychotic Mantis

    Carla is adorably asshole-ish.

    Mary is just an asshole.

  82. Lan

    Fifth panels Carla face is the best “What” you’ve given us in years. Thank you Willis.

  83. Steve

    I trust Carla and Mary are being shown in interludes for a reason and there’ll be a payoff down the line but man, do I ever want their shenanigans to get them both kicked out and they never appear on panel ever again!

    1. Spencer

      Next storyline everyone else dies.

      Comic becomes Mary chasing Carla down desert roads and failing to catch her.

      1. inqntrol

        Acme is going to get rich…again

    2. Captain Button

      Someone in their room on this floor or the one below mistakes the rhythmic thumbing for sex. They accuse their innocent SO of cheating and hilarity ensues.

      1. John

        That’s Roz’s room, too. The people downstairs are probably used to it.

        1. Cerberus

          Welp, gender studies class must have wrapped up for today, Roz is filming for her website again.

  84. TheNinthShader

    Sometimes I like imagining each panel as if they were naked, then laughing at my own immaturity.

    1. Clif

      Thank you for sharing that.

      1. TheNinthShader

        Your welcome 😀

  85. NelC

    I was going to make a remark about Ruth’s style of management — rule of fear crossed with malign neglect — but then I realised: Mary isn’t afraid of Ruth, since she thinks she’s got something on her. That’s why she went straight to the glue rather than trying, however ineffectual that might be, to get Ruth to do her job.

    Which says rather a lot about Mary’s character.

    1. Buhzim

      Last time she tried to get Ruth to do anything she got slapped and a dong temporarily tattooed on her face. I wouldn’t bother trying either.

    2. Cerberus

      Yeah, Mary and Carla are probably the only two on the floor without any fear for Ruth at the moment. Mary because she feels she has an angle of power over Ruth, Carla because she’s a punk who doesn’t care about authority.

      If something like this was going to explode, these two really were the best two to do it, because everyone else would have stopped and de-escalated the second someone name-dropped Ruth.

  86. Toes14

    I dislike both these characters, so can they please get into a fight and knock each other comatose for the next month (in strip-time).

    (I figure that’ll last until the next apocalypse, at which point I won’t have power and reading this comic won’t be an issue.)

    1. Spencer

      I wonder if Willis’ love of include characters based on complaints will clash with giving Mary more panel time.

      1. Cerberus

        Oh I’m sure. Aren’t we supposed to be heading into a Mary heavy arc sometime soon?

        On that note, I need everyone to continue complaining about Carla. It’s vitally important.

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          One of the preview panels said “Should do a storyline that’s entirely about Mary, that’s sure to be a hit.” (Looking it up, that was for December 14. It may have just been talking about this escalating slapstick between Carla and Mary. I do expect her to confront Ruth soon though)

          Also today’s comic was featured as a preview panel. It was labeled “Who wants more Mary? I sure hope it’s everyone!”

  87. smooti

    in one corner: joyce dealing with a crisis of faith and struggling with emotional problems

    in the other: looney toons, like almost literally

  88. Gamaran Sepudomyn

    Can I please just note that Carla looks really pretty in the fifth panel?

    1. zoelogical

      i love her slightly translucent hair in the second panel.

  89. Willoughby Chase

    Not all learning is book-learning!

  90. Cerberus

    This really illustrates and underlines how selective Mary is about “transgressions”. I mean, Carla opens up with a genuine issue and complaint. Mary has committed a criminal act and rendered the new skates she was so excited about finally getting completely inoperable. At the very least, Mary owes her financial compensation for that and definitely owes her an “I’m sorry” or some form of acknowledgment that she did that and that was wrong.

    Instead?

    She doubles down on a fire-and-brimstone view of sin and punishment. Carla deserves any punishment because SHE TRANSGRESSED AGAINST A RULE. And since she transgressed first, or in a way that was inconvenient to Mary, then that is all that should manner and anything that befalls Carla is her just resorts for having transgressed.

    And the thing is that this worldview is why she’s a complete piece of crap on issues of gayness and belonging to different churches. Someone has transgressed a Godly rule and thus they are terrible people and deserve all the punishment Hell and Earth can bring and certainly should not be allowed to spread their stain unto the godly.

    And the only transgressions that count are the ones that inconvenience her or are upheld by her religious community, because she has proved that she is “good” by avoiding “bad people” and so any crime she commits like trying to injure someone and destroying their stuff is hardly worth considering even for a heartbeat in the face of “SOMEONE BREAKING A RULE”.

    It’s a beautiful microcosm of everything wrong with Mary and the Marys of the world and why horrible people seem to believe that gay people “deserve AIDS” or that black children “deserve death” for having family members who are criminals or maybe smoking weed once.

    And so I derive some beautiful satisfaction that the first person we’ve seen actively put this into the limelight rather than passively slapping down this shit, is a trans ace badass.

    1. Buhzim

      Regardless of Mary being an asshole target…causing chaos in the hall is against the rules for a reason, it’s annoying as hell. Mary asked Carla to stop and was told to go suck a lemon. Mary didn’t have the most mature reaction but Carla is going out of her way to be a pest, she’s half responsible for her predicament.

      Mary also hasn’t ratted out Ruth and Becky even though the former breaks rules on a regular basis (not to mention she knows about Billie and the alcohol) and the latter is an open secret among the dorm by now. If the Mary of this continuity still gets her kicks out of delivering righteous punishment, she’s slacking off.

      On another note, Carla being transgender is a fan theory based on her counterpart from the Shortpacked continuity, wasn’t it? I mean, it’s probably true, but I wouldn’t take it as fact just yet. I know Willis said the characters are still similar in that aspect, but Ultracar isn’t an easy character to “transfer” to a more mundane setting so some things might have changed.

      1. Apostate

        She’s pissed about the several hundred dollars of property damage Mary caused. I wouldn’t be thinking straight, I can tell you that.

      2. Cerberus

        Word of God, dude:
        http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/91322448607/is-carla-going-to-be-acknowledged-as-canonically

        Plus, there’s the comic where she remarks that a penis on her door was a hate crime and that “there’s a reason” she’s tall that Sal says the roller derby team “wouldn’t mind”. Let’s just say, it’s as canon as Korra and Asami’s bisexuality.

        And what Apostate said. Mary committed very expensive destruction of property over some horsing around. There’s no justifying that, even if someone is being a “pest”.

        1. Cerberus

          This link is even better:
          http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/125122471272/in-dumbing-of-age-and-its-walkyshortpacked-i

        2. Buhzim

          Hmmm, guess that’s as official as it gets without being featured in the comic itself. The hints you mentioned are the reason I was leaning toward “yes” (however I thought the “I don’t like humans” conversation with Sal was just a funny reference to her Ultracar counterpart)

        3. Shiro

          I can’t imagine it won’t be mentioned in the comic at some point. We haven’t really had many Carla storylines yet, after all.

  91. motorfirebox

    Carla probably doesn’t want to hear this, but she looks fucking ADORBABLE in this strip. Something about her ponytail, I think.

    1. Cerberus

      I know, right? It’s that perfect blend of angry and cute.

  92. Tenn

    Doesn’t she know that you can remove permanent glue by gluing over it with non-permanent glue?

    Oh no I didn’t! 8D

    1. Cerberus

      *slow clap*

    2. a snow ʍousɐ

      haha, nice reference to the WbDdB

    3. Ernie O'Dell

      That sounds similar to U.S. war policy in the middle east! Except replace glue with explosives. 8P

  93. jepmz

    Oh no. My gravatar looks like Mary but angry 🙁

  94. Minder

    i try so hard to like carla

    but then she’s written pulling so many goddamn stunts like this that i am just completely unable to untangle her from every other juvenile, trolling, attention-seeking asshole i’ve ever met

    aka i hate carla b/c she reminds me so much of all the worst elements of my dad i can’t separate the reality ≠ fiction divide for her

    1. de Combys

      Yeah, she reminds me so much of those spoiled teens I had to share the dorms with a couple years ago. The problem was : surveillance was very scant and there was a whole story filled with Carlas. They had to give me a room in another dorm building because when I tried to tell them to stop running and screaming at 1 am, they started harrassing me. UGH.

      In other words, I really, really hate Carla and wish I had the guts to pull pranks on them like Mary.

  95. AHR

    I enjoy how the biggest plot holes in these stories are the mechanical stuff, when the arts and crafts descend down to inform us of nifty ways to fix things.

  96. Heavensrun

    Deliberate vandalism of school property to prank a skater is -also- against the rules, Mary. Or are we supposed to believe that you carefully cleaned up all the excess glue from the floor immediately after knocking down Carla?

  97. Nena

    Mary fucked with the wrong person! hahahaha

    1. DarkoNeko

      They both did.

  98. king hadas

    Just soak the wheels in nail polish and they’ll be good as new.

  99. JA

    Carla must have some Titan-strength calves to be able to repeatedly jump like that with a ramrod straight posture, especially in skates.

  100. Harvey Janus

    I have a Mary for a roommate, though not a fundamentalist Christian.

    He demands absolute peace and quiet… so that he may masturbate, even when I’m in the room. And he sits in such a way that I can see his just… fucking disgusting porn. I am out of the room from 9AM to 6PM, as a quote from him “I never leave the room.” All his classes are online. I cannot have a conversation with my boyfriend about anything but banalities, because otherwise I’ll be bongoed at for “violating the roommate agreement” (I don’t know how but the last time I brought it up to the RA I got told to just deal with it.) or because my boyfriend is a socialist. *Last Night* he even complained because I was on a call with my boyfriend, we were both keeping as quiet as possible… but no. My skype call ‘was wasting bandwidth’ because he was trying to download 8 different things at once and they weren’t downloading fast enough.

    What should I do to deal with this guy?

    1. ChrisHerself

      Do you and give zero fucks about his whining. Seriously. If he goes to the RA it sounds like they’ll give him the same response they did you. Let him piss and moan all he wants. He’s just a spoiled shitty roommate and next semester you can request a new one, or better yet find a friend/acquaintance you get along with better who’d room with you.

  101. Aaron Bourque

    God, Carla, way to be a judgemental asshole.

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