I would never be able to model for a class; my body spasms frequently due to medical stuff, so I would never be able to sit perfectly still. Also I’m not exactly in shape so I wouldn’t be comfortable to model anyway.
Oh I loved drawing curvy people, and I preferred older models. Our live model classes had nude people and drawing an 18 year old just felt so awkward. You is bby why you here
Nymphie
My art school had students sign up to model for the evening life drawing sessions, and the rate was about double the minimum wage. So it was not uncommon to see some of our peers naked on a regular basis
I modeled for a life drawing class, nude, once. I have fibromyalgia and I lose circulation so my limbs go numbs incredibly easily. It was not a pleasant experience. It was grueling
I played a scarecrow in a play. First rehearsal we immediately figured out that having me hold my arms straight out for 7 minutes was not going to happen. There was a yardstick in the back of my shirt the next day.
I’ve done maybe 3 minutes as part of a workout video, and it was HARD. Thinking that you could do 7 minutes without any training is insane.
Viktoria
I was young, and in shape, and made it about a minute before it was clear that this was not tenable. As said, it was fixed before next rehearsal. We’d wanted a fast, easy transition from “on the pole” to “free movement”, and no one had actually tried doing it before me.
And then everyone thought I was just weak, tried it themselves, and gave up just as fast. It was hilarious watching our resident football player start gasping at it.
I did nude modelling for photography because I only had to hide my junk from a particular observation point, and I only had to hold the poses for at most 30 seconds. With my injuries prolonged standing poses were right out.
Joyce is going to be in trouble if her metabolism ever slows down. A 2 liter lemon-lime soda every day? That alone is enough to cause you to gain weight.
I suppose she could switch to diet but there is a bunch of other health issues involved with that choice. But I don’t have the stamina nor attention span to talk about it.
Fair enough, and yeah I did that soda for a few years and it was a poor choice. I went back to regular soda, but I now mostly drink water and only drink soda with my medication or if I am at a restaurant/fast food joint.
Bicycle Bill
Much as I hate to make a plug for the place, but Mall-Wart has their own label of flavored fizzy water called ‘Clear American’. No calories, no sugars, no sodium, and the flavors are (in my opinion) much stronger than Buble or La Croix or any of the other name-brand ones. Comes in either 12-packs of 12-oz cans or 1-liter bottles, and if you go the bottle route there are far more flavors to choose from than the cans … but then you’re creating a problem due to the single-use plastic bottles which, no matter how diligent you are about putting them in recycle bins or containers, may still end up being burned in a refuse-to-energy program or landfilled anyway.
In Finland, we have these fizzy little tabs you can add to water that add carbonation and some flavor, and often vitamins too. I don’t believe they have any sugar, though.
Mark
We had those in US back in the 60s-70s. They were terrible then and would likely be unimaginably awful now. I hope yours are better.
v.gay.person
We have the them in Australia and it’s the best way to get myself to drink water and the only way for me take my vitamins. They’re also a great alternative to sports drinks.
It’s actually a myth that sugar causes diabetes. Diabetes is something you already have, or something that develops independent of diet. A diet high in sugar can cause you to /notice/ it sooner, but you can’t cause it no matter how much sugar you consume.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Do you have a source for that that isn’t funded by the sugar industry?
Hard to give specific suggestions without knowing your workout space, but it’s not that difficult to set-up a laptop or tablet in front of the treadmill.
The visual component is difficult, since holding your head steady is just … less-than-great walking form. But audially, I’d suggest getting wireless headphones of some kind. I have a Shokz OpenRun for listening to stuff while I walk and it’s the favoritest thing I bought this year. Designed to handle “oh no I’m sweating” levels, but not to handle “oh no I’m swimming” levels of moisture.
If it’s facing a wall, you can wall-mount a TV. Some treadmills have a little shelf or ledge on the control panel that can hold a tablet, too.
Roborat
That is what I did, put a shelf on the wall in front of the treadmill and placed a 41 inch tv and Wi-Fi equipped DVD player, and use that to watch Netflix. I just walk on the treadmill, I don’t think it would work with running, too much head bounce. I tried to watch videos on a tablet while treadmilling, but it wasn’t too successful, works well with an exercise bike however.
Worth mentioning that warming up should be active stretching and not this style of stretching. Granted, any stretchong is better than nothing, but still
The last “active stretching” I tried was jogging across the field to where the five-a-side football was being held. Halfway across: eeeeeYEEOOWWW as I pulled my right hamstring, followed right away by a GYYAARRRRHHHH when I came down on the other leg and pulled my left groin.
My physio LOVED that story, and had me tell it at least three times while she tried not to giggle. Sort of tried not to giggle. Well, sort of tried not to giggle too much.
I’m with Yoto, working out sucks.
(… nah, that last bit’s a lie. walking’s out for me ‘cos my big toe joints are failing, but living handy to a shared walking/biking riverside track through replanted native bush was awesome. jump on the bike, peel out 7km to the edge of the city, then turn back and collapse on the lawn at home when done. and, jump into the river on a hot day and do the rest of the ride soaking wet with deliciously chill river water, couldn’t be beat.)
I was gonna say the same thing, re active vs passive stretching then wondered if maybe Joe knew more thane,.then realised that Joe isn’t real, then had a.small existential crisis.
I did! I’m tiny-skinny-armed, and pregnant, but it wasn’t difficult at all. I did remember to breathe.
At about 30sec my arms start to fall asleep a lil, but I’m not sure why Joyce’s muscles are shaking with effort at 5sec. Maybe she’s tensing up super hard (which isn’t how to stretch), and/or maybe this is just another way that pregnancy is weird?
116 thoughts on “Stretches”
Ana Chronistic
Now imagine doing this as a model in a life drawing class (with or without clothes on)… for TWO MINUTES
/has in fact done that (with clothes on)
PASchaefer
Oof.
Kyrik Michalowski
I would never be able to model for a class; my body spasms frequently due to medical stuff, so I would never be able to sit perfectly still. Also I’m not exactly in shape so I wouldn’t be comfortable to model anyway.
Marisa Mockery
Oh I loved drawing curvy people, and I preferred older models. Our live model classes had nude people and drawing an 18 year old just felt so awkward. You is bby why you here
Nymphie
My art school had students sign up to model for the evening life drawing sessions, and the rate was about double the minimum wage. So it was not uncommon to see some of our peers naked on a regular basis
Jo_Cubstar
I modeled for a life drawing class, nude, once. I have fibromyalgia and I lose circulation so my limbs go numbs incredibly easily. It was not a pleasant experience. It was grueling
Viktoria
I played a scarecrow in a play. First rehearsal we immediately figured out that having me hold my arms straight out for 7 minutes was not going to happen. There was a yardstick in the back of my shirt the next day.
John Campbell
Nothing like a little crucifixion for the sake of art.
Bash
I’ve done maybe 3 minutes as part of a workout video, and it was HARD. Thinking that you could do 7 minutes without any training is insane.
Viktoria
I was young, and in shape, and made it about a minute before it was clear that this was not tenable. As said, it was fixed before next rehearsal. We’d wanted a fast, easy transition from “on the pole” to “free movement”, and no one had actually tried doing it before me.
And then everyone thought I was just weak, tried it themselves, and gave up just as fast. It was hilarious watching our resident football player start gasping at it.
Schpoonman
“But Scarecrow moves around, he’s part of the whole journey to–they did not specify Oz.”
Opus the Poet
I did nude modelling for photography because I only had to hide my junk from a particular observation point, and I only had to hold the poses for at most 30 seconds. With my injuries prolonged standing poses were right out.
UrsulaDavina
Been there Joyce.
Thag Simmons
I sympathize, I am pathetically weak.
Clif
I sympathize, I have can have an incredably short attention span.
Doctor_Who
Turns out exercise is just repetitive and tiring physical activity. Who knew?
asmodai27
It does not HAVE to be repetitive, though it often is indeed.
Kyrik Michalowski
Joyce is going to be in trouble if her metabolism ever slows down. A 2 liter lemon-lime soda every day? That alone is enough to cause you to gain weight.
UrsulaDavina
I suppose she could switch to diet but there is a bunch of other health issues involved with that choice. But I don’t have the stamina nor attention span to talk about it.
Kyrik Michalowski
Fair enough, and yeah I did that soda for a few years and it was a poor choice. I went back to regular soda, but I now mostly drink water and only drink soda with my medication or if I am at a restaurant/fast food joint.
Bicycle Bill
Much as I hate to make a plug for the place, but Mall-Wart has their own label of flavored fizzy water called ‘Clear American’. No calories, no sugars, no sodium, and the flavors are (in my opinion) much stronger than Buble or La Croix or any of the other name-brand ones. Comes in either 12-packs of 12-oz cans or 1-liter bottles, and if you go the bottle route there are far more flavors to choose from than the cans … but then you’re creating a problem due to the single-use plastic bottles which, no matter how diligent you are about putting them in recycle bins or containers, may still end up being burned in a refuse-to-energy program or landfilled anyway.
ValdVin
Michael Buble is hawking his own brand of seltzer?
Sellout. It used to be about the music, man!
Tan
While Michael Buble is an advertising spokesman for it, Bubly Sparkling Water is a PepsiCo brand, not his own.
ValdVin
Okay, this is why I like this space.
I was going for the cheaplaff and had no idea Michael Buble was advertising Bubly!
Mark
I think all the stores have captive brands of flavored fizzy water.
Or, y’know, 2l of tap water and a tot of lemon juice might work too, Joyce.
Felgraf
In Finland, we have these fizzy little tabs you can add to water that add carbonation and some flavor, and often vitamins too. I don’t believe they have any sugar, though.
Mark
We had those in US back in the 60s-70s. They were terrible then and would likely be unimaginably awful now. I hope yours are better.
v.gay.person
We have the them in Australia and it’s the best way to get myself to drink water and the only way for me take my vitamins. They’re also a great alternative to sports drinks.
Fay
I mean, the diabetes will probably hit her before the weight does.
S.R.
It’s actually a myth that sugar causes diabetes. Diabetes is something you already have, or something that develops independent of diet. A diet high in sugar can cause you to /notice/ it sooner, but you can’t cause it no matter how much sugar you consume.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Do you have a source for that that isn’t funded by the sugar industry?
shadowcell
Joyce Has Neither the Stamina Nor the Attention Span For This: A Dumbing of Age Pornographique
Dana
Lets hope they at least get the gym to themselves.
NGPZ
“Congratulations Sailor, you made it to Black Friday!”
Amós Batista
The funny of all is that Mr. Crabby is the perfect character for a Black Friday
shrub
Someone’s been skipping leg days…
drs
Oof yeah, his biceps look bigger than his thighs
Angel
joyce did mention bike riding before, maybe they could go on a two person bicycle lol
Bicycle Bill
I’ll loan ’em mine.
Yotomoe
I concur. Working out sucks. That’s why I just go for walks. Much easier.
Kyrik Michalowski
I need to find a way to watch a show or youtuber while I walk on the treadmill. Then at least I won’t be bored.
Thag Simmons
Hard to give specific suggestions without knowing your workout space, but it’s not that difficult to set-up a laptop or tablet in front of the treadmill.
Jamie
The visual component is difficult, since holding your head steady is just … less-than-great walking form. But audially, I’d suggest getting wireless headphones of some kind. I have a Shokz OpenRun for listening to stuff while I walk and it’s the favoritest thing I bought this year. Designed to handle “oh no I’m sweating” levels, but not to handle “oh no I’m swimming” levels of moisture.
Needfuldoer
If it’s facing a wall, you can wall-mount a TV. Some treadmills have a little shelf or ledge on the control panel that can hold a tablet, too.
Roborat
That is what I did, put a shelf on the wall in front of the treadmill and placed a 41 inch tv and Wi-Fi equipped DVD player, and use that to watch Netflix. I just walk on the treadmill, I don’t think it would work with running, too much head bounce. I tried to watch videos on a tablet while treadmilling, but it wasn’t too successful, works well with an exercise bike however.
Schpoonman
My oldest brother used to dribble a soccerball when he went on runs. Dude’s a freak.
Rose by Any Other Name
… why a soccer ball specifically?
HueSatLight
I would guess he was soccer dribbling.
v.gay.person
When I went to the gym the treadmills had screens in them and a usb port, so I’d just load up a whole movie to walk/jog to.
Angel
being active in small ways is fine but i’d def rather ‘workout’ than go to a church lol
Mark
Hear, hear! Or yard-work. Wearing out machines is boring.
Ty34er
Worth mentioning that warming up should be active stretching and not this style of stretching. Granted, any stretchong is better than nothing, but still
Decidedly Orthogonal
This person fitnesses.
butting
The last “active stretching” I tried was jogging across the field to where the five-a-side football was being held. Halfway across: eeeeeYEEOOWWW as I pulled my right hamstring, followed right away by a GYYAARRRRHHHH when I came down on the other leg and pulled my left groin.
My physio LOVED that story, and had me tell it at least three times while she tried not to giggle. Sort of tried not to giggle. Well, sort of tried not to giggle too much.
I’m with Yoto, working out sucks.
(… nah, that last bit’s a lie. walking’s out for me ‘cos my big toe joints are failing, but living handy to a shared walking/biking riverside track through replanted native bush was awesome. jump on the bike, peel out 7km to the edge of the city, then turn back and collapse on the lawn at home when done. and, jump into the river on a hot day and do the rest of the ride soaking wet with deliciously chill river water, couldn’t be beat.)
Angel
i’m assuming joe is starting her off with the basics
Needfuldoer
Maybe this is the pre-warmup warmup.
LiamKav
I was gonna say the same thing, re active vs passive stretching then wondered if maybe Joe knew more thane,.then realised that Joe isn’t real, then had a.small existential crisis.
elebenty
Darn know-it-all figments of Willis.
Roborat
More people get injured stretching than exercising.
Stephen Bierce
*cues up “Defying Gravity” on the hacked Muzak*
NGPZ
YES <3 ^_^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEq3xM-i0Ng
HueSatLight
anyone else stretch like them for 10 seconds after reading? did you forget to breath too?
Leorale
I did! I’m tiny-skinny-armed, and pregnant, but it wasn’t difficult at all. I did remember to breathe.
At about 30sec my arms start to fall asleep a lil, but I’m not sure why Joyce’s muscles are shaking with effort at 5sec. Maybe she’s tensing up super hard (which isn’t how to stretch), and/or maybe this is just another way that pregnancy is weird?
Needfuldoer
She’s excited, a little nervous, and just picked up 150-ish pounds of Sarah a few moments ago.
Amós Batista
Damn it, Autonoetic consciousness…
Suet
|o| It’s only ten Mississippis, just the right amount of time to nab all the sides you wanna eat.
The struggle of noodle arms, post-Sarah bodylock, is real
elebenty
My kid used to count seconds between lightning and thunderclaps as “one Ms. Piggy, two Ms. Piggy….”
elebenty
She also asked “Why do squirrels only stick to trees?”
DailyBrad
I need to do my stretches more often before work, given I have a fairly physical job. It’s easy to neglect sometimes, but it will bite you eventually.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Palm’s are sweaty?
Mom’s spaghetti,
Vomit on Joyce’ sweater vest already
RassilonTDavros