180

Superlative
Posted on May 30, 2021 by David M Willis

180 thoughts on “Superlative”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    is it the cheapest whiskey bc it’s free bc birthday, or is it the best whiskey bc they only have the one and that’s the best by default

    1. Ana Chronistic

      (I suppose I should say WAS cheapest)

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        I’m going to say they have at least 2 types of whiskey, so probably the better one but he’ll probably charge for the cheaper one.

        1. Needfuldoer

          3 types, so “best” is grammatically correct.

        2. ValdVin

          I would hope that Jason knows about the better v. best difference, seeing as he trots out words like “superlative” unprompted.

        3. khn0

          I always assumed better was a comparative and best a superlative that could also work for only an observed ensemble of two items, I’m learning new things here.

        4. MacareuxMoine

          I’m not a native speaker, but logic tells me that a superlative is correct as long as there is no item contradicting the comparative and is always true for a single available item.

        5. Knuf Wons

          It’s a well-known case that a list of one item makes that one item both the best and worst of the list.

    2. Clif

      Both can be true.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Galasso overhears this and adds an “Insult Jason” entry to the menu.

    Soon it’s by far the most popular item in the place.

    1. Keulen

      That sounds like something Galasso would do.

  3. Sirksome

    Meh, I’d prefer Ruth not drink but what you gonna do I’m not her boss.

    1. MrSmith

      I’d prefer her not to drink or start a relationship but instead concentrate on recovering but hey it’ll probably turn out all right

      1. Viktoria

        While in general it’s not a partner’s job to fix anyone, and it’s generally a good idea to be not a complete wreck /before/ you start dating, I get the feeling Ruth’s options are either “Date” or “refuse to interact with anyone”. Her getting into a relationship is probably a necessary step. And Daisy is at least smart enough to spot the issues early on and decide if the benefits are worth the risk, so it’s at least her choice to get involved.

        Like, I don’t disagree with a general point of “don’t get into a relationship if you could fairly be described as a walking disaster”, but I don’t see Ruth not being in a relationship as working out better, and Daisy’s not being manipulated into this by anyone except her genitals. It’s probably the least-bad option.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          Y’know. I used to agree with that sentiment. But despite knowing my evidence is anecdotal, I can’t agree anymore. I’ve entered each relationship with hope for my future, ideas of positivity and some degree of succeeding in life. They end with failure, emotional abuse, financial ruin, and the new skill of suicidal ideation. Why should someone worry about being their best going into a relationship, when failure results in them getting pushed below their previous rock bottom? In hindsight my previous partners didn’t deserve my best, and I no longer have any faith that I do either. (don’t worry, _I_ am not getting into any more relationships). It seems a fair measure that a relationship which encourages and supports you in succeeding, while not being dependent on you succeeding is a solid one to continue, provided that you’re showing the same to your partner.

      2. fridge_logic

        Is she starting a relationship or getting some much needed physical attention?

        Currently the premise is a little of column A a little of column B. As long as Ruth is willing to walk away I am happy for her to listen to her body.

        I think it’s cruel to expect a human, especially one at her age(and thus exceptionally high average horniness), to invalidate or ignore their sexual/intimate/physical desires/needs (I use need because intimacy deficit is definitely something which can be satisfied to an extent, whereas desires are a bit more limitless)

        1. MrSmith

          It is not cruel. At this stage her getting involved with someone, even if it is merely physical, has a very danger of sliding into relationship territory.

  4. DailyBrad

    Now I’m left wondering how nice a liquor selection a pizza parlor has, anyway.

    1. LaffyTaffyBoy

      I imagine it as being similar to a pizza parlor/sports bar near me. If it is similar, then the answer would be “Not super great, but better than you would expect.”

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Pizza and booze. Is there a better combo?

        1. Azhrei Vep

          Pizza and Soda, Pizza and Salad, Pizza and chocolate, Pizza and a hammer to one (but only one) finger, the list goes on, and on, and on and ooooooooon…..

        2. voidsiren

          Pizza, after spending the afternoon swimming, with a homemade salad and a can of Dr Pepper.

          Childhood nostalgia may be making me have rose-tinted glasses, but I don’t think I want to take them off.

      2. fridge_logic

        Having one nice bottle on the shelf of every kind of liquor is much cheaper than trying to do the same with Wine or Beer since liquor keeps rather well after being opened.

    2. hof1991

      The cheap brand is going to be something designed for bars. Generic alcohol. You see the equivalent is stores at a fraction of the cost of a name brand.

      Decent bars carry a bottle or two of name brands for special drinks that come at a premium.

      If you don’t specify, you’re drinking generic.

      1. thejeff

        The cheap brand is still likely to be better than what she’s used to drinking. Bars have standards. Teenage alcoholics, not so much.

        Also reminded me of a place in my college days that actually had generic beer: white label with black letters that just said BEER. Good times.

  5. Proto_Eevee

    If you have a thesaurus and people don’t know, then what’s the point?

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Communicating with English majors?

      1. BarerMender

        Hail fahr, Ruth is an English major.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      I possess a unique tool, an extensive vocabulary that has been amassed over some six decades of my existence which is contained within the neurons of my brain, so I have little need of a thesaurus.

      And of course, I am never loathe to employ it, which means that this resource of mine will always be available to me and will never become lost under the cobwebs of disuse.

      1. Clif

        Unfortunately you have but another decade before those pesky neurons start to churlish refuse to deliver up the correct word while happily informing you that a word exists that says precisely what you mean and maybe it begins with the letter p?

        Fortunately the Internet is even more extensive than a thesaurus and can be prompted by context.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          That entirely depends on genetic and environmental factors, as well as how well exercised Bill’s brain is daily. Since he maintains a rather intelligent discourse daily with ourselves, and I’m guessing others, it seems likely that he may remain sharp until his passing. Long may that day be deferred, if that is his wish.

        2. milu

          I believe Clif was talking about their own neurons’ mutinous tendencies, not making a general claim.

        3. Demoted Oblivious

          No. No, this is the internet. We mustn’t start assuming that people are making generalized statements instead of specific personal attacks. That way lies reasonable and respectful discourse, and it has no place here.

        4. milu

          i disrespectfully beg to differ, and will now furthermore proceed to call you a: “jabroni”.

          hrm hrm. Jjjj…!!!

          huh.
          JJjjja..b… jjjjjjhjhhh.

          i’m so sorry, i can’t do it.

      2. Jhon

        When I encounter a new and interesting word, that is a red-letter day.

      3. khn0

        So if I’m not mistaken, you’re telling me that apart of contraptions and misuse of grammar aside, every single word I utter make me sound like an pedant, all just because I, indeed, had to learn through a thesaurus every word I’m typing in your language.

        Well if I wasn’t already a pompous ass in my own language, I’d be rather marred.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Well it’s either that or a constant barrage of swearing, so…

      (Actually, why not both?)

      1. milu

        Swear to god I can’t bloody stand me an odious, abhorrent, unfuckably fatuous thesaurus-sniffing, Webster’s-humping, Proust-blowing, overripe florid purple-as-the-pope-‘s-balls
        twobit nerd-ass boisterous wanker son-of-a-linguist word-slut who keeps going off on the most tedious monotonous repetitive never-ending shitless-boredom-inducing snoozeburger strings of redundant and avoidable and un-fucking-necessary quote-unquote synonyms aka quote, utter freaking brain-bloating bullshit words that blatantly need not exist unquote, at the drop of a headgear. Jesus goddamn hompkin’ H Christ and his cumsnorting donkey.

        1. Casi

          4/5, would be insulted by milu again.

        2. Clif

          Yeah, where is the applause button.

        3. NickG

          Sydney Scoville levels of cussing there Milu.

        4. Roborat

          I second that. I was going to make a similar comment.

        5. Demoted Oblivious

          I had to reread, as I couldn’t fathom “unfuckably faBulous” with the rest of it. Props for not shying away from the classics while utilizing some truly creative compounds there. Bravo!

  6. Suet

    To be ridiculously fair, what really should be a first drink for anyone who turns 21?

    IPA? Whiskey? …Everclear?

    1. Nono

      My first drink was Jim Bean. It was, in hindsight, a terrible start.

    2. NotThatDrew

      Day I turned 21 I went and bought a big ole bottle of Fireball. The rest of that night is a bit of a blur

      1. Dara

        For exactly one shot, I loved Fireball.

        One shot later, I liked it.

        Never really wanted another. I don’t ever have that kind of reaction to things so it’s stuck in my head all this time.

    3. Kyrik Michalowski

      Whipped cream vodka or a strawberry wine cooler, they’re sweet and easier to go down than anything else.

      1. Dara

        You can make an obscenely good alcoholic milkshake with Three Olives cake vodka. If you can find it. (Which I can’t anymore.)

      2. Dara

        Here’s how good it is. I looked up the numbers.

        2-3 scoops vanilla ice cream
        2-3 tablespoons choco syrup (to taste) (even Hershey’s works, it’s that good)
        1-2 shots vodka
        1/2 to 3/4 cups milk

        put it all in a blender and go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

        1. Rose by Any Other Name

          … isn’t that just a Mudslide?
          (I mean, I love mudslides, but I don’t recall them requiring special vodka)

        2. RacingTurtle

          Sounds like Dara’s suggested vodka would result in a superlative mudslide, she replies, showing off that she owns the same thesaurus Jason does

        3. Dara

          Honestly dunno? We were kind of winging it. It’s quite possible we re-created something that already existed, wouldn’t be the first time – but I’m telling you, made with Three Olives cake vodka, it’s in a league of its own.

          (Smirnoff also has a cake vodka. It’s garbage. Don’t.)

          We used to serve it at parties with people who had some fair experience with alcohol, and there was a real consensus that the flavoured vodka kicked it up anther level, so take that as you will.

        4. Roborat

          Okay, you have piqued my curiosity, what is cake vodka, and what about it makes it so noteworthy?

    4. Sirksome

      Whatever you want? The idea of turning 21 is you’re essentially independent enough to make your own decisions at that point. Your first drink could be top shelf vodka or flat, room temperature beer you’re not quite sure isn’t someone’s piss. Ideally I’d hope someone who knows your tastes suggests something you’d like.

      1. woobie

        No, that’s the idea of turning 18.

        1. Sirksome

          Yeah I disagree with that. So does our government to some extent. The two big ones being over alcohol consumption, and owning a gun, even sometimes in court depending on the state you’re in.

        2. Roborat

          Luckily the residents of parts of Canada don’t have that problem. 18 is the legal age, some provinces are 19, if (fading) memory serves.

    5. mm-s

      I think mine was a gin and tonic at a cafe/bar with a friend. And then I went to a party afterwards. I remember little else.

    6. Opus the Poet

      I got a fifth of Cutty Sark when I turned 21. The week we buried my dad I polished it off.

      1. Roborat

        I was disappointed when I tried Cutty Sark, I thought it was awful, and an insult to the good name of a famous ship.

    7. Rose by Any Other Name

      I went with Mikes Hard Lemonade.
      Although that was technically several weeks before said birthday, but meh.

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        I will add that I have never been into the idea of shots. At a bachelorette party, we were all asked what we wanted in our shot, and I said “Amaretto”. Then, when everyone else pounded whatever they had back, I took a gentle sip from mine, letting it roll over my tongue so I could appreciate the flavor. When someone asked what the fuck I was doing, I pointed out that one does not slam amaretto – one sips it to appreciate the flavor.

        1. StClair

          See, the difference (IMO) is that you were there to enjoy the drink(s), and they were there to get fucked up.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          Seconded. I never understood the idea of shots either. I’ll do them occasionally if there’s a group situation, but even terrible shots, I prefer to take the time to experience and explore what is going on. Not that I’m particularly gifted in tasting, but being fucked up has never held much appeal to me. However I’m also not great at having fun, though I enjoy other’s company when they are.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Solid choice.

    8. drs

      Different answers if it’s actually your first drink or not.

      For Ruth, very not.

    9. StClair

      My girlfriend at the time recommended a brandy Alexander, I have no idea why. My recollection is that it tasted like a glass of milk spiked with lighter fluid.

      Knowing what I do now, I’d definitely go for a wine cooler, a hard soda, or some sort of fruity liqueur/mix like a Screwdriver.

      1. hof1991

        In most of the world, that’s accurate. In Wisconsin a Brandy Alexander is an alcohol flavored milkshake. A spoon should stand up in it. After all, Wisconsin invented ice cream drinks.

      2. thejeff

        Friend of mine makes those as a holiday drink – with Kahlua instead of cacao. Deceptively strong and delicious, at least to my taste. Plenty of nutmeg is the secret. 🙂

    10. BBCC

      When I was 21? Probably a beer or a margarita. My first actual taste of alcohol I was 19 and I had some of my mom’s red wine. I’m Canadian so that was legal.

      1. Leorale

        Everyone in my Jewish family has a similar First Time Getting Drunk story: you’re 11, it’s Passover, you accidentally have too much Manishewitz and have to eat some matzah and lie down for a bit. Then you switch to grape juice for the rest of the night.

        It’s nice that getting drunk wasn’t ever exotic or mysterious.

        1. Tawnee

          I checked this with an independent Jewish source and she literally howled with laughter before agreeing while giggle/snorting.

      2. Demoted Oblivious

        Canadian, not jewish, but grew up with a liberal parent. Alcholhol was never some secret forbidden thing. There was always wine (or beer) available at the table and it was for anyone to drink. I would have some occasionally and holidays. The result? I actually decided I didn’t like drinking even before I was legal, had been slightly tipsy (giggly but not buzzed), never full on drunk, and didn’t drink between 17 and 37. (exceptions for occassionally shutting down “don’t trust someone who doesn’t drink,” types, or illustrating that I can, but choose not to but am not fanatical). Now I occassionally have a scotch as I find it has the most interesting flavours around the taste of the alcohol.

        p.s. The answer to those not trusting sober people types was: take the shot, then retort with, “why should I trust someone, whose own trust is so cheaply bought?”

        1. BBCC

          My mom didn’t care if I had some as a teenager since it was better than sneaking around and doing god knows what god knows where, I just never actually did. My foster sister did stuff like that, not me.

    11. Huehuetotl

      If it’s not their first drink ever, whatever they like. If it’s their first booze, IPA is too bitter, and whiskey will probably burn unepectedly. IIRC, my first beer was a stout, first hard liquor was a black russian. I’d suggest a cream porter or witbier (eg: Blue Moon) if I could go back in time.

    12. carms

      my first drink was VB. victoria bitter, an Australian classic.
      It was AWFUL. it was SO BAD. it tasted like bread. but nasty.
      But I was 19 (a year past legal in Oz) and with friends and drinking with a scientist’s intent.
      Pretty quickly I started telling ppl about my pyloric valve.
      I went to work in the morning and had yeast in my mouth all day.

    13. DinaJoyce

      I’m about as rebellious as early Joyce. So my first drink (other than communion on the rare occasion I visited a “real wine” church) was the night *before* my 21st birthday, but I was doing study abroad in a country where the drinking age was 18. My friends found me this strawberry flavored vodka and we mixed it with my favorite strawberry banana juice. It tasted exactly like cough syrup. I did not drink much. But before the drink I had one of the best meals of my life and the next day (my actual birthday) I went snorkeling in a pretty cool area. So even though the alcohol was not impressive, it still ranks among my best birthdays.

    14. Delicious Taffy

      My first alcohol was some brown sugar bourbon given to me by a pedophile. “Vile” doesn’t do it justice. Then I tried potable liquor a couple years later at an ex-friend’s party and decided I love rum. Shoulda started with the rum.

    15. Bicycle Bill

      When I turned legal age (back in 1972, when you could drink at 18) my family and I went out to a supper club in Wisconsin where my father stated that “Now that you’re old enough to drink, your first drink is going to be a good one”, and had the bartender serve me a pre-dinner Old-Fashioned made with the best brandy (this WAS Wisconsin, after all!) they had in the place.

      And apropos of nothing, outside of an occasional shot-glass of Mogen David wine that my younger sister and might be given at family holiday dinners such as Thanksgiving or Christmas, that WAS my very first drink. I had never sneaked beers or anything else during my adolescence.

      Yeah, I know. Weird, right??

      1. hof1991

        Classmate! Wisconsin dropped the drinking age to 18 in 1972. Before that it was a mix of beer at 18 or only 3.2% beer. For my birthday I walked to a piggly wiggly and loaded up. We had quite a party that night. Haven’t had a screwdriver since then.

        Never drink an Old Fashioned anywhere but Wisconsin. They have no clue how to make them. Ditto for ice cream drinks. Pink Squirrel-yum.

      2. thejeff

        Brandy? That’s an old fashioned Old Fashioned. I’ll have to try that, next time I have brandy in the house. (Which I’ll buy for the Alexanders mentioned above.)

    16. MrSmith

      Speights – Pride of the South

      (Thats the south in NZ)

    17. CJ

      Since hard liquors are an acquired taste, did you do it to look cool or because you wanted to get drunk?

    18. Keulen

      Hopefully something you like. I’m not sure what my first legal drink was when I turned 21, but I’m sure it was better than the nasty-tasting beers I’d usually end up drinking in college before I was the legal age. These days I tend to prefer Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers, particularly the sangria flavor.

    19. Joshua Kronengold

      My first legal drink was…probably Jonnie Walker.

      This was a terrible choice for one reason and one reason only–I had it outside a tent in which there was a bardic revel.

      Inside the bardic revel was my second (legal) drink–a large cup of homemade pocheen being passed around which was -ambrosia-. I’d have had more of it, except I’d had too much Walker and needed to have enough brain to remember (and perform) 30 verse ballads.

    20. Paul Grant

      O’ say top shelf single malt scotch

    21. zee

      I think the first thing I drank after turning 21 (3 whole days ago) was Smirnoff ice…
      Then again the drinking age in my country is 18 so this wasn’t even remotely my first drink

    22. milu

      The social discourse on alcohol is an intriguing aspect about american culture to me (on a par with your attitude to guns).

      Sure i know that far from everyone actually respects the minimum legal drinking age in the US, but a lot of people do, and furthermore there seems to be a general sense that that is a meaningful rule. Over here in France while minors can’t buy alcohol there isn’t a limit on when you’re allowed to drink it. Adults are responsible for minors drinking “safely” whatever that means, but there’s no minimum age.

      I don’t really have an opinion either way. I’m glad i was allowed to drink when i was a teen because i had a lot of fun and i’ve never had serious issues with alcohol, but that’s one person’s opinion so who cares.

      i tried looking up data on the effect of a minimum legal drinking age worldwide, but that seems to be a really complex topic. I did find that in the US, studies on the effect of raising the MLDA to 21 in the 80’s appear to converge on the conclusion that it had a positive effect on alcohol-related traffic fatalities in particular. And i think this is one place where the comparison is limited: in France the driving age is 18 and there isn’t quite as much of a car culture. So to make sense of the MLDA question you probably need to take driving habits into account. I wasn’t able to find data on when people first own a car (not “buy”, mind, because i’m betting many first cars are hand-me-downs or gifts) so, no further comment.

      But the MLDA might be linked to all sorts of other effects besides car crashes. Average per capita consumption. prevalence of alcoholism. ‰ fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.

      I couldn’t find a lot of easy to exploit or interpret data from reputable sources, but i’m sure correlation tables between various factors have been attempted before, I just haven’t found them.

      A few facts do stand out so starkly and consistently that it seems a shame not to report them after spending a couple hours researching worldwide alcohol consumption:

      1. The US is probably doing somewhat better than Western Europe, but unsurprisingly the North-African and Middle-Eastern majority-muslim countries are way, way less affected by alcohol-related issues than any other area on the planet.
      3. Russia has a HUGE alcohol problem.

      1. milu

        that was meant to be 1 and 2 lol

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          Ah yes, the old addage:, one tequila, three tequila, floor.

        2. milu

          Social ill of alcohol consumption #41: marked increase in prevalence of long-winded and essentially content-free musings on the topic of “how bad is alcohol really?” inevitably ending by pointing out that it’s so much worse elsewhere.
          Social ill of alcohol consumption #43: loss of ability to successfully launch the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

      2. CJ

        Germany found that a lot of alcohol facilitated traffic accidents happened with drivers between 18 and 21, so they only issue probationary driver’s licenses to under 21s and you lose it if you drive with any alcohol at all. This seems to have cut down on the accident problem.
        I don’t know if statistics about alcohol consumption and its results for Muslim countries can be reliable. If it’s illegal, it’s hard to keep track of.

        Talking as someone who doesn’t do alcohol, it would be nice if our western cultures developed a culture around relaxing and celebrating that does not include alcohol as a mayor feature, but I‘m not holding my breath.

    23. Daibhid C

      FWIW, on my 18th birthday I threw out all the stops and had a non-Diet Coke.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        Do you mean a Coca-cola Classic, or an actual non-diet New Coke? Where I’m at, the only options from the local bottling plant are just CCClassic and the Diet-Coke (a.k.a. the diet ‘new Coke’ derivation).

        1. Daibhid C

          Coke is clearly more complicated than I thought. Whatever it is they serve in pubs in Scotland.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          Well o’ that I ha’ nay ken. But why you would elect an American beverage when you’ve got scotch right there is a mystery. At a guess though, you likely just had Coca-cola Classic then, but really when one orders a “coke” you could be given any name- or off-brand cola due to the ubiquity of the word. Apparently, because of the breadth of marketing, “Coke” is one of the most universally understood words on Earth.

    24. Needfuldoer

      If we ever come to a definitive answer here, please let me know. I’m more than a decade overdue.

      (Actually, I don’t care to start drinking. Kaliber, Heineken 0, and O’Doul’s Amber are enough to fly under the radar socially. Inebriation sounds about as appealing as the potential depressive downward spiral I want to avoid…)

    25. RassilonTDavros

      Mine was a rum and coke on my 21st. I quickly discovered I was a rum person, as I had somehow suspected since childhood despite never even sipping the stuff before then.

    26. Ryek Hvek

      There shouldn’t be a first drink at 21 (or at 18, for those born in another century) – some watered wine at the dinner table at a much younger age would make a good first taste of alcohol – take the mystery out of it, and show it as an accompaniment to a meal

      1. Needfuldoer

        But if we take the mystery and intrigue away at an early age, how are we going to get them hooked on the product for life during adolescence (when they’re most vulnerable to marketing and peer pressure thanks to rebellion and underdeveloped impulse control)?!

        /s

        1. StClair

          *shushes frantically before you give the whole game away*

    27. voidsiren

      I tried a couple after I turned 21 and most of them were not up my alley. Mostly because I don’t like the taste of alcohol in the first place.

      I would recommend the watermelon sangria from Olive Garden for a first drink. It’s nice and fruity and doesn’t taste like those shitty blackberry-rita cans I first tried. And since you’re at Olive Garden, you can eat as many breadsticks as you want. There is no downside.

      1. Clif

        Sadly, it is possible to pack on some major poundage eating Olive Garden breadsticks.

    28. Demoted Oblivious

      Are we talking about someone raised under state-sanctioned ageist prohibition, someonee living in same but who drank anyways, or someone who grew up familiar with alcohol and for whom it’s just a nice day to celebrate?

  7. Kyrik Michalowski

    Never let it be said that Ruth is ever too defeated to be a smartass. Jason was asking for it anyway, but he can give as good as he gets.

  8. NotThatDrew

    Welp, here’s to potentially disastrous choices

    1. Clif

      If they aren’t potentially disastrous, were they really choices?

      1. milu

        hahaha *upvote*

  9. Nono

    How does your tab work for a bar system like Galasso’s? Do you pay at the bar, since you can sit there? Do they keep track of what table you sit at then and then charge the amount when you pay for your meal?

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Whichever system is most likely to frustrate people is probably the one Galasso uses.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      We need a sign on the back wall that says something like,
      “If you’re drinking to forget, please pay in advance.”

      1. Clif

        Is anyone else disturbed by the sign on the back wall, to the right of Reds ad and above the list of specials, that says “MIKE WILL ABEER TOMORROW”?

        1. milu

          yes i am also very disturbed

  10. Dara

    No college bar attached to a college pizza joint has $60-a-shot whiskey.

    $15 tops.

    Of course, that doesn’t mean she knows that or stop him from lying so…

    1. milu

      the joke here seems like it’s what Jason might have said next, and he might have announced an absurdly high figure just to mess with Ruth.

      now that i think about it, how canon is the alt-text usually? is there a sense that some alt-texts feed into the actual canon while others don’t, and how do we tell the difference?
      alt-texts are weird in terms of their relation to the text.
      sometimes, it’s Willis’s voice commenting extra-textually (“i drew this during the inauguration”). sometimes it’s his voice, but as an omniscient narrator and there’s a sense that it conveys canonical, if trivial, info (“this is one of Daisy’s top 5 dates”) and sometimes it’s a character’s voice, albeit a bit snarkier than they actually are, and there might be a sense that they wouldn’t actually say it but it’s funny to imagine them doing so (eg today’s alt-text).

      i wonder if there’s proper scholarship on this =)

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        If there is, I’m certain it would be recorded in Dorothy’s binders. Does DyW have anything to share?

  11. Jade

    I love the fact that Jason used to pluck his eyebrows. Reminds me of when I was a kid and my older brother would ask me to pluck his eyebrows and he’d basically cry at every hair. Can it be assumed that this change means he always plucked his eyebrows in the walkyverse!?

  12. Sirksome

    Polling the comment section here: Are we trusting Ruth to drink responsibly? All I’m saying is she doesn’t have a great track record. I can’t judge if the alcoholism was a side effect of the depression or partially responsible for it, so I’m a little shaky on this one. Is “different meds” a clarification, or a justification?

    1. Jade

      I’d say it’s justification. She’s mentioned it being different a few times when referencing the fact that she wanted to drink today iirc.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      I think she’ll be ok, after all she snapped at Billie for trying to get her to drink a while back when they were still together. So unless she’s going off the deep end, I think it’ll be ok.

      I hope.

    3. Jane

      Her recent behavior feels like a sort of restlessness associated with a desire for moderately self-destructive choices, to me. Not the sort of deep, dark void that involves dramatically destructive decisions, but the desire for a sort of controlled pain that distracts one from the pains one does not control.

      Or in other words – she might be looking for something on a scale that would ruin her date, but probably not something that would put her in the hospital. “Trust” here would depend on how one defines “trust”.

      1. carms

        SUCH a Booster comment perfect grav

        1. Jane

          I just wanted to examine the character’s motivations for a moment, there’s no need to call me a jerk over it 🙁 ! (That reaction was a joke, just to be clear)

          Joking aside, though, I’m reading Pale at the moment, and a large portion of that is examining just why various characters are making increasingly poor decisions, and… That mindset might have carried over a bit.

    4. Regalli

      I expect it to go badly (though not hospitalization badly right now, agreed) if for no other reason than Willis is the one writing it so why the fuck should we expect otherwise.

      Hopefully I’m wrong, but y’know. Dumbing of Age.

      And agreed with Jane re: Ruth giving off self-sabotage/mild-to-moderate self-destructive vibes right now. Not suicidal, but I certainly wouldn’t call her Not Depressed.

      1. NotThatDrew

        Pretty much my thoughts on the his scenario as well

        1. Clif

          So we’re agreed. It will go badly but not for any reason we would expect.

      2. Kyrik Michalowski

        You make an excellent point, having hope while Willis is in charge seems foolish.

    5. Norah

      I think the “different meds” comment was because the last time she drank in Galasso’s, she had an allergic reaction because of her meds.

    6. Keulen

      Maybe Ruth’s gotten better at not drinking too much alcohol during the time skip, but I’m not sure I trust her to drink responsibly, and now I’m worried this will be what ruins her date with Daisy.

    7. JBento

      We are not, because she’s an alcoholic, and according to alcoholics themselves, no alcoholic can be trusted to drink responsibly: “One drink is both too much and not enough.”

      1. thejeff

        And even if she does stop at one this time, that’ll just be proof to her that she can now drink safely and the start of the slide back down.

    8. thejeff

      Sort of a clarification – it suggests she won’t have an immediate reaction that’ll put her in the hospital right now.

      It’s a justification because she’s still an alcoholic and it’s still likely that the booze will mess with her meds, just in a subtler way.

      1. Regalli

        Yes, very much this. Depending on the particular meds, the occasional drink might be okay with your doctor’s approval,* but that presumes you’re not an alcoholic. It may not be an immediate problem, but I do expect this to be a serious longterm issue.

        Dammit, Ruth, I was pulling for you.

        * All meds will warn against it, though, since alcohol is literally a depressant. While antidepressants aren’t actually stimulants, it’s still not a great idea to mix your uppers and your downers. And I’m sure the standard factors in how you in particular metabolize alcohol would also be in play here.

  13. Stephen Bierce

    *plays The Beastie Boys’ “Brass Monkey” on the jukebox*

  14. Brasca1

    Never sass the bartender. First rule of public drinking.

  15. Bagge

    Will you be fine, though, Ruth?

  16. BBCC

    Oh jeez, I was so distracted by Jason and Ruth being cute and friendly that I forgot about Ruth’s alcoholism. RUTH NO.

  17. tim gueguen

    Of course if she’d stayed in Canada Ruth would have been legal to drink everywhere in the country for 2 years already. in Alberta, Manitoba, and Quebec drinking age is 18, 19 everywhere else.

    1. CJ

      If she lived in Europe, she would have been allowed to drink beer and wine since she was 16, hard liquor since she was 18.
      (I actually went and looked it up for Germany if something was changed in recent years, but they only added an explicit rule that alcopops are only for over 18. And some googling got the info that you lose your driver’s license if you are caught driving and have any blood alcohol if you are under 21).

  18. carms

    man i feel so good about this, Ruth with her like, remotely healthy attitude to alcohol, maybe I just won’t check the strip tomorrow, preserve this positive feeling of seeing a character about to get laid and being in a bar on her birthday without destroying herself. noice.

  19. Amias

    I have never liked Jason very much, but this is a better look for him. I wonder if he gets better tips since changing his haircut.

  20. Delicious Taffy

    Look, as long as Ruth doesn’t look at the results of tonight’s Leafs game, she should be fine. Those motherfuckers.

    1. Clif

      Why do you think she needs a drink?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Probably because the Leafs weren’t able to beat a team that was basically half-asleep, tonight. Un-fucking-believable.

        Also, it’s Willis’s fault I even give a shit about hockey now.

        1. Clif

          I just sort of assumed that about 50% of the existing leafs fans were Willis’s fault.

  21. woobie

    Only $60?
    I was at a business dinner in Napa and one of us ordered a $95 tiny snifter of Prater brandy.
    On the company dime. In 2007, so I don’t know what it costs now.
    I can’t imagine it being worth $95 of someone’s own money.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      If you can charge the company, always charge the company. Why pay for the good stuff when you can make your boss do it?

      1. Bicycle Bill

        There’s an old story about how, back in the day, a Brit in India would continually demonstrate to acquaintances how backward the natives were by placing a British penny, a sixpence, and a shilling on a table and then inviting his native houseboy to take whichever one he wanted.  Without fail, the houseboy would take the largest coin, which was the penny.

        One day after such a demonstration, the observer took the houseboy aside and asked him if he understood the value of the coins, since either one of the the other two coins was worth more than the penny.  The houseboy said that he already knew that, so the puzzled observer then asked, “So why do you still keep taking the penny?”

        The houseboy said, “Because the day I DON’T take the penny is the day he will stop giving me the choice.”

        Same thing works with an expense account.  Drink the cheaper stuff — mid-range at best — so you can keep drinking on the boss’s dime.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          If you’re after a prolonged situation, that could work. I usually prefer things to be brief but higher-quality.

  22. Bicycle Bill

    Since Ruth is Canadian and Jason is British, wouldn’t they actually be calling the potable he is pouring ‘WHISKY’ ??

    Learned that from “Statesman: The Golden Circle”, I did.

    1. Daibhid C

      Depends if it’s whisky or not. They’re in the US, so the chances are it’s whiskey. The spelling difference refers to the origin of the drink, not the speaker.

      (I’m a Scot, I am legally obliged to care about this, even though I don’t drink.)

      1. Needfuldoer

        The cheapest one at the bar is unlikely to be an import.

        (Also their dialogue was written by an American…)

  23. Barf Ninjason

    Ruth: So, you wipe real good?
    Daisy: Of course. Ha, whaddya think I am, a straight guy?
    [Both laugh]
    Daisy: I’ll be right back, I gotta double-check
    Ruth: Jesus, relax
    Daisy: I CAN’T

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Straight guys don’t wipe, because then they’d be touching a guy’s ass. And that would be gay.

      How the fuck has this species ever accomplished anything, by the way?

    2. Keulen

      I’m not sure Daisy knows how to relax.

  24. Charles Roast

    Nobody talking about how hot Jason is, alright. I see how it is.

    1. Alex

      He’s so hot that I feel deeply uncomfortable. I don’t know how to handle finding Jason attractive.

    2. Needfuldoer

      That was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone.

  25. Orangey

    Who uses the word superlative

    1. milu

      grammarians, mostly

      1. Clif

        Orangey just used it. Therefor Orangey is a grammarian.

        But does he weigh more than a duck?

    2. Needfuldoer

      That nerd character in the Lloyd in Space intro?

    3. RacingTurtle

      Yearbook kids

  26. milu

    well, at least one commenter totally saw this coming yesterday.
    and my reply was “whaaaat?! nooooo”

  27. Amos Batista

    I can rear the same words of Faye (Questionable Content): “Now, I can’r just enjoy thingsm because I can’t drink anymore”. I hate watching Ruth drinking, but I got a feel it can’t be helped.

  28. WanderingLynx

    Lots, lots, lots of mistakes had to happen so I stopped getting self-destructively drunk and became a low-to-moderate drinker. Here’s to hoping Ruth is past that line and this night doesn’t end up in a wreck, because I love her and maybe relate a bit too hard; despite the comic’s title.

    Didn’t comment yesterday so hey Jason! Looking good!

  29. Sombrero

    Jason is the greatest barman ever. He doesn’t just sell liquor, he makes customers desperate to pay for it.

    1. milu

      his sales pitch is
      1) be irresistiblysuperlatively mockable
      2) offer expensive drink on the house in exchange for mockery truce
      3) because of 1) customer will insist on paying
      4) dollar dollar bill y’aaaaaall

  30. Rabisch

    After months without alcohol, Ruth’s guts will have an unexpected reaction resulting in unstoppable diarrhea. But this not in Galasso. They will have time to get to Daisy’s place before the disaster begins. The tension will hit again Daisy’s guts too. This will be the most memorable date ever!

    1. Clif

      Then we will have to figure out why it’s Danny’s fault.

  31. zee

    I’m. Gonna choose to ignore everything else and just focus on the fact that Jason looks damn good here. I love the brown near his ear, I’m guessing it’s shorter there? Good for you Jason, good for you.

  32. ValdVin

    I was under the impression that Jason doesn’t own a thesaurus, but just had acquired his vocabulary by sheer use.

    1. Needfuldoer

      An organically grown, polysyllabic vernacular the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Charles Winchester III.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1VSc7fY3rwI

  33. Jhon

    Prediction: the date will go wonderfully. But Ruth won’t remember any of it.
    The second date will be Daisy telling her all about it.

  34. Undrave

    Jason and Ruth should be friends…

    1. Alex

      They do have a good energy here.

  35. C.T. Phipps

    #TeamBillie not #TeamRuth.

  36. Steelbright

    Wow Jason is still somewhat obnoxious but has a GREAT new haircut

  37. FreeGamer

    Wait, Jason is hot now? My brain just did a flip and went “plz let him be bi. plz let him be bi” before I could stop it. I did not see this coming.

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