94

Swear
Posted on February 14, 2011 by David M Willis

94 thoughts on “Swear”

  1. DaniellePhantom

    joe looks like he feels kind of bad.

    1. Jen Aside

      I was thinking more like, “…wait, what was that supposed to be?”

      1. DaniellePhantom

        oh. yeah, that’s probably it. duh.

    2. ScytheAkse

      see i agree with the feeling bad

      1. David Herbert

        It can be both.

  2. Jen Aside

    Besides stalk and be creepy?

  3. Animal

    http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Goody+Two+Shoes/3g0DRk?src=5

    1. alicemacher

      I LOVE that song! *Dance dance dance*

    2. Sarah

      Glad I’m not the only one who thought about that song when reading this strip.

  4. General Tekno

    Heck. I don’t swear either. Or rather, at least not the big swear words.

    I WILL say “goddamn”. I consider that common enough to not be a proper censorable swear, mind.

    1. Darth Cariss

      That’s pretty much the one swear I’ll never say, as I see it to be the worst. Funny how that works!

      1. Malph

        The only one I won’t say is that one word that’s really really bad to say in America but isn’t really that bad to say in other places.

        1. Earlofthercs

          I used to swear all the time, ’til I had kids and switched jobs to one where I work with kids… now, when pressed/startled/annoyed or whatever I’ve trained myself to say things like `jimminy-crickets that hurt’ `cheese and crackers!’ `for pete’s sake’, `rock-face’ and so on.

    2. Gianni

      I guess the greater your belief in God, the more abominable that word must seem.

      1. Andy

        I wonder what my preferred “Godf*ckit” says about me, then.

        1. Compulsive Collector

          I usually say, “Jesus fucking god!” Not only is it good and blasphemous, but it has the incestuous element, too.

        2. PlutoniumBoss

          But since Jesus IS God, wouldn’t that be masturbation?

        3. Michelle J Caboose

          I just leave God out of it. I tend to say, “For fuck’s sake!” “What the Shit?” is another personal favorite.

          I’m a horrible person; I have a potty mouth. -_-

  5. Sakimei

    This is good advertising for Galasso’s Pizza! (I keep getting distracted by the sign in the background.)

  6. ScytheAkse

    ragepreach thats what she does. and be ungodly cute as she does so.

  7. AsinineAxioms

    I guess Joyce wasn’t in the mood to join Mike for pizza.

    1. Sarah

      Or Mike didn’t want her joining him.

  8. Noxx

    The problem with women who don’t have any vices of their own, is that they have nothing but time to reflect on yours.

    1. Wackd

      Did you just say Joyce has no vices?

      …

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      1. Sarah

        Well, not the usual drinking, having sex, smoking, or cussing sort of vices…

  9. Joebo

    Well, for starters: she employs her fists as instruments of God.

    1. zuche

      Clarinet and second violin, to be precise.

      1. Jack

        Really? Seems more like a bass drum to me.

        1. Sarah

          I think Joe’s been the bass drum this evening…I’m surprised that he lasted this long.

        2. Elephant

          Poor Joe. He was hoping to be the drummer tonight…

  10. arjay2813

    lol, panel 3…just..panel 3

  11. The Sound Defense

    Okay, so the night’s not over yet.

  12. Kater

    she punches guys in the FAAAAAACE!

    1. Soundbucket

      with her penis?

      1. zuche

        No, just whichever one is closest to hand at the time.

  13. Rognik

    I don’t swear, God damn it!

    A shame she won’t say that, though. It’d be funny.

  14. Locke

    Violent, Angry Joyce just makes me chuckle. It’s like when a puppy tries to be vicious.

    1. zuche

      You might want to keep this particular puppy away from firearms. Jet packs should still be okay.

  15. Alechsa

    What DOES she do (with your penis)? Lose her mind in a violent fit when she’s been pushed too far… Typical of Joyce, really… be lucky she has no alien superbranch to beat you with….

  16. dchorror

    I just can’t feel bad for Joyce. She’s been rather inconsiderate the whole evening. And that’s knowing Joe wanted to take advantage of her…with his penis.

  17. Cathy

    Men are from Beck and women are from Clark?

    They’re both from Ashton-Weatherly and Wilkie. =)

    1. Cathy

      Tell me, is Galasso’s Pizza an analogue for Donato’s Pizza? I loved their crustless pizzas when I went to IUB.

  18. goatman95111

    Yeah, Joe does kind of seem to feel either bad or somewhat amused with how harmlessly cute she seems to be.

  19. Shade

    Well she finds sadist chaperones to punch her dates. We know that much.

  20. XRL

    Recently I sat down and said “Screw it I’ll read Willis’ other work with these characters” (I only read shortpacked) and now I won’t be left pout of the loop when people make references to it 8D

    1. Gianni

      It’s good stuff. I’m just about due for another epic read through.

  21. Amazo

    Ahaha.

    Oh Joyce. I am just beside myself with the spectacular breadth of your failure.

  22. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dumbing of Age - Swear -- Topsy.com

  23. LiamKav

    I can understand people who don’t swear. I can understand people who only use some swear words. I always keep See You Next Tuesday in reserve for situations where someone really calls for it. Like Hitler.

    What I don’t get is fake swearing. Words mean what we, as a society, have decided that they mean. If someone says “Gosh darn you”, we all know they actually mean “God damn you”, so how is it any different? If you don’t want to blaspheme, say “screw you”, or “get lost”, or something else.

    It just confuses me is all.

    1. ScytheAkse

      SERIOUSLY!!!! and the opposite is true as well, my closest friends answer my calls with insults ranging from slut to cum dumpster. we love eachother and there is no ill will intended. the same goes for every “curse” word we throw at eachother.

  24. dethtoll

    I swear freely, frequently and casually, but I very rarely use female gendered insults such as twat and conga- the former because I’m not British and the latter because I don’t like the word (also because I’m not British.) Dick and cock are fair game though!

    1. ScytheAkse

      ill use conga but its reserved for those that have truely betrayed me, everything else is all fun and games

    2. dchorror

      But cock doesn’t sound like a bad word. It sounds like a last name. Course, the k jumps out at you, so I can’t blame the connotation.

      What is your standing on prick?

      1. LiamKav

        Standing on pricks can be quite tricky, and also painful.

        But… “cock” sounds like a last name? Really? At most schools I know Ian Cock would have been punched in the face more than Joe here.

  25. zuche

    By Grabthar’s hammer, that’s just sad.

  26. Spitfyre

    This may date me but the last frame just brings to mind Adam Ants song “Goodie Two Shoes”

    1. zuche

      No, that got linked earlier.

      I’m pretty sure no one else is hearing Sophie B. Hawkins “I Wish I Was Your Lover”. It’s the “Damn!” at the beginning of the chorus, see.

  27. ziggy78eog

    What does she do? Well, for starters, she punches you in the face.

    1. Sarah

      Did she ever punch him, or did she just have Mike do it?

  28. Maveric1984

    Frankly I’m surprised she didn’t go with the old standby of the shortest verse in the Bible: Jesus wept!

    Frankly I was amused when watching Top Gear last night and they censored “bolluks” because it’s a bad word over there but not over here 😛

    1. zuche

      It’s been observed that a number of people are perfectly okay with letting other people tell them what’s in the book so they don’t have to read it themselves. I’d hate to think Joyce was one of those, but she doesn’t look like she’d meet Linus class standards either.

      1. Bill M.

        Well, I seriously doubt she’s read Song of Solomon (a.k.a. Song of Songs), I know I really haven’t gotten too much into it, since it’s the porn section of the bible.

    2. Lesharo

      Don’t forget the old standbys of “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”, “God’s Night Shirt!”, “God’s wounds!”, “Sweet baby Jesus hanging on the cross” (personal favourite), and the like.

      Of course, she may consider it blasphemy when I don’t because, well, not a Christian, but…meh.

      1. Jimmy

        “Zounds!” would be my preferred form of “God’s wounds!”, if only because Spaceman Spif said it all the time 😀

  29. Janette

    She reads the bible?

    Again and again?

    1. laila

      Offtopic, but OH MY GOD HOW ‘BOUT THAT LAST EPISODE. Dammit Kyuubey, what else haven’t you been telling them?!

  30. DrDVD

    just read the roomies comics, I have a whole new outlook on this stuff now, it’s nuts!

  31. Sili

    What do we want? PMHP!
    When do we want it? …

    Well, whenever’s most convenient for you, but please make it soon. Pretty please?

  32. fruitpunchtsunami

    I love to curse, personally. I sprinkle curses liberally throughout my speech, like an overeager waiter with a parmesan shredder at an Italian restuarant

    1. ArchSchnitz

      Yeah, me too. I’m of the “they’re just words” philosophy. That and my present job have left me with more than a bit of a potty mouth.

  33. Eri

    Sorry, Joyce, but that was quite a burn xD

  34. Loki

    Well, one thing she does is talk on the phone prematurely about dating a Jewish boy…

    1. zuche

      So it was a case of premature he-Jew sensation?

  35. Coppermouth

    This may be one of my favorite coloring jobs so far.

  36. wnderjif

    i was expecting mike to punch joe again… aww, punchy time over?

  37. Kong

    If you invoke blasphemies like “God damn” within a culture that honors that deity, even ironically, it means at some level you still believe that stuff, because to mock it gives you some power. Either that or yr just a jerk.

    1. David

      If your name is “Kong,” does that mean at some level you think you’re a 50-foot ape?

      What I’m saying is that’s absolute and total bullshit. The English language is made up entirely of words that used to mean something else hundreds of years ago. Just because we say them doesn’t mean we secretly intend their original definitions. When an atheist says “God dammit,” he does so because it’s a common curse word which has meaning to other people, therefore it’s useful. (That meaning being “I hate this.”) He doesn’t say it because he secretly believes in the supernatural. I don’t think even most Christians intend the literal definition of the phrase when they say “God dammit.” It’s just something to say when you’re angry.

      1. Sarah

        And how do you know that Kong isn’t a 50-foot ape?
        But seriously, I think part of the problem of people just throwing around curses is that people don’t intend the literal definition as you noted. I think that people should say what they mean and mean what they say, and I think that certain words/phrases should be used only in certain situations. Curses are thrown around much too casually in our culture without people understanding the severity of what they have said.

        1. ScytheAkse

          and if as a culture the full “meaning” of those words has become lessened? thats whats happened so why are we held to the same standards that people were from generations past were? if we held to those ideals in every aspect of life anyone one who lives at home with their parents to go to college would be failures for not moving out on their 18th birthday. people who wait to get married woould be looked down upon. gays and lesbians would be stoned to death in the streets and blacks would be picking cotton. as a society moves forward all aspects of life must also move forward, ESPECIALLY language.

        2. Sarah

          So progress for progress’ sake? As long as life changes, then society is moving forward? No examination as to the quality of change?
          Positive changes: ending slavery, not stoning people, being able to live with parents longer, and marrying later. The cheapening of language? Not so much, in my opinion. I think it’s led to people being more callous and also not understanding which situations are serious enough to warrant cursing and which ones aren’t. However, if you can actually give me an argument for why it’s a good thing, I’m willing to hear you out.

        3. David

          Getting angry that the meaning of words evolves over time is kind of like getting angry about how the beaches erode rocky shores into sand. The only way to protect the rocky shores is to ditch the water, and thus all life; likewise, the only way languages stay alive is through evolving.

        4. zuche

          Hmm. The problem I’m seeing with the argument for progress and evolution in language is that there isn’t any here. Without the original meaning, all you’re saying is an emphatic, “Blah blah blah!”

          The breakfast argument doesn’t work either. The word still means what it always did, even if people are now using it in a more limited, less aware fashion.

          Without an appreciation for its history, what you call evolution of language is more likely to be decay.

        5. LiamKav

          But what do you mean by “original meaning?” Words are constantly evolving and changing, so what are you using as your cut off date? The 1950s? Victorian times? The dark ages? How cavemen spoke to each other?

          It’s like those people who get worked up over people being funny over the Flintstones theme song. “Gay has another meaning!” they cry. Which is does, or rather did. To 99% of English speakers, gay means homosexual, and railing against that isn’t going to get you anywhere.

        6. David

          The severity changes. A lot of the words you use, ones you don’t give any second thought, used to have entirely different literal meanings.

        7. LiamKav

          Exactly. I doubt when people say “breakfast” they are thinking about how they are literally “breaking” an eight hour “fast” they have just had while they slept.

        8. LiamKav

          Also, “I don’t think even most Christians intend the literal definition of the phrase when they say “God dammit.” It’s just something to say when you’re angry.”

          I think that’s what throws me about fake swearing. When you hear “god damit” or “go to hell”, they are just phrases. But hearing “go to heck” or something like that is almost more noticable because the person wants to swear but has also censored themselves in the process.

          It’s like when a parent swears in front of a child. If they just ignore it and carry on the child won’t notice. If they make a big “oooh, sorry” and flap about, the swear word stands out more. By trying not to draw attention to it, you are actually drawing more attention.

        9. ScytheAkse

          id like to point out bongo and its derivitives. original being female dog. now it includes a callous or mean spirited woman, a cowardly male, an awesome time (bongoin’) complaining (bongoing) and im sure many more that i haven’t heard yet. its not progress for the sake of progress. its natural evolution. its just amazingly easy to track and happens relativly quickly all things considered

  38. Micamone

    That weird look he gave her for not swearing? that’s the look I get all the time.
    lol I never swear, and if one does slip out my friends freak out

  39. fangshinobi

    Once upon a time, decades, possibly a century ago, darn was as bad a swear you could ever make.

  40. Hinoron

    What DO you do?

    “I read the bible and judge people! I already TOLD you I was Christian!”

  41. Alex

    So far, I’ve sworn two times in the twenty years of my life.
    At this point I’m just doing it to see how long I can do it for. I bet life has some kind of achievement I can unlock by refraining from swearing.

  42. Stephen

    My dad used to say ‘dad blame-it’. 🙂 I’ve been using ‘oh, snap!’ a lot lately, myself.

  43. Trolldrool

    Technically, darn and heck and similar harmless words are swears if they’re used to replace the words they resemble, because we’re still saying those words inside our heads. We’ve just altered them verbally to avoid the guilt.

  44. McBobbish

    You know, I think she should be arrested for assault. Joe is a scumbag, but he hasn’t hurt anybody.

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