I really don’t get where the “aww” reactions are coming from. Ruth is tearing into Billie and then vaguely tries to make up for it.
You know how some folks here think Amber is an abusive person towards Danny? That’s kind of how Ruth and Billie come off to me (just, you know, not to the lengths of somebody like Blaine).
“You made me do normal adult things! How dare you!? I am angry :|” is well within the normal ribbing of both friendships and relationships. Like, Ruth sometimes does say abusive shit, but this ain’t. That pause tells me she’s desperately trying to come up with something because she isn’t actually angry.
I expect this is a matter of expectations. They are dumb kids in a kinky relationship, quite possibly their first one; it’s not immediately intuitive how to behave. Further, and this bears repeating, like basically everyone else, they are dumb, and compounding this, they believe they’re just broken and not engaging in things normal people do. I kinda get why they aren’t trying to look up SnM relationships. Frankly, being dumb is about enough.
Spencer
Possibly. I’m not entirely sure whether or not they just think it’s normal to be really volatile towards each other, or if they are into it that way. And like, Ruth really doesn’t do friendly ribbing a lot, and when she does she’s usually smirking and making it clear she’s telling a joke, so maybe?
That part about how they believe they’re broken motivating their words and actions, like they kind of expect themselves to always do something wrong, is probably spot on, though. I like that idea.
Rutee
I’m pretty sure they both think the other is into it, at the very least. Whether they are ACTUALLY into it requires an internal monologue, or an extremely frank, absolutely no holds barred dialogue; the latter is a good idea in this kind of relationship and won’t happen, because they’re dumb and think they’re broken. What I meant with that isn’t that they’re sure they will slip up, incidentally; putting aside that it implies a level of reckless abandon on them both I’m not willing to impute, it’s also just not what I meant. What I mean is, they think they’re broken – therefore, what they’re doing is basically completely new ground, something normal people would never contemplate. Them being young and Dumb is sufficient to not look into something this difficult; it’s kind of a fuckup, but it happens, because young and Dumb. Them being young and Dumb /and thinking you’re fundamentally broken people who do not do what normal people do/ probably kills any chance of looking up how this is normally done. For kids stumbling about in the dark, they appear to be doing a good job, but it’s hard to know for sure without an internal monologue.
I haven’t paid for the newest slipshine (and barely remember the old one; it was what, a year ago?), but it does seem to be overwhelmingly play for them. Where either has crossed the line even a tiny bit (and having looked back on them since they started, ‘tiny bit’ is about as far as I’ll go), I’m inclined to give the benefit of doubt; partially because they’re in a shitty situation and I expect especially Ruth to occasionally lash out, but mostly because most of what Ruth’s done since they start requires her to be more manipulative than she’s ever shown herself to be. And Billie was pretty masterfully trolling her domme into bed more or less immediately (and I have a hard time empathizing with it hurting to insult a sportsball team. Especially the Leafs, I mean come on)
I still don’t get how I can sympathize so much with someone as abusive and bullying as Ruth.
It’s a testament to Willis’ abilities as a writer that Ruth is neither some horrible cartoon villain, but also not having her worst actions glossed over because she has issues and a sad backstory.
I really don’t think lashing out at your partner once and then immediately regretting it is equivalent to Ruth spending the first half of the comic systematically harassing Billie, physically harming her, stealing her stuff, and then sexually assaulting her.
I saw no sexual assault on Ruth’s part. Billie was blindsides, yes, but only because she didn’t think of the possibility at the time (had it been a guy, she’d probably have thought of the possibility). The sparks where there to see for those who could interpret them – as is fairly bog-standard at the start of a romance.
Spencer
Ruth slammed her against a wall and forcibly kissed her.
DarkVeghetta
Context. The sexual tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. It didn’t happen out of the blue – it was the culmination of many interactions.
Had that element been absent – sure, I’d agree with you – but it was there and it led to the sensual outburst. Not a mature way of handling it, but hardly criminal – merely raw and lacking any tact.
Spencer
I can’t express in words how much you are creeping me out.
nothri
Sounds like a personal problem, Spence. I agree with him, even if I think he’s explaining it badly.
Or put it another way. If you can be charged with sexual assault because you moved to kiss someone on the misguided assumption that they were interested in you and immediately backed off when they protested…well, I’m sorry guys, but awkward dumb never-dated-a-girl-before teenaged me is apparently a criminal.
Now I’m not in any way saying their relationship is 100 percent healthy, because it isn’t. But abusive? I dunno. The problem is that trash talking isn’t my kink, and yet its clearly a turn on for these two. So its kind of hard to judge whether this is a disfunctional relationship or a functional one built partly on faux antagonism. At least for me. But once again I like these two together, so I’m a biased source ever willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
thejeff
Nothri, that wasn’t “moved to kiss someone on the misguided assumption that they were interested in you and immediately backed off”, that was a “slam her against the wall and kiss her before being forcibly shoved away”.
Hard as hell to prosecute without video or something, but definitely fits the definition of sexual assault.
I like this relationship for various other reasons and I don’t think it’s currently abusive, but it surely started out that way.
What I’m saying is that DoA has a lot of nonreciprocal girl-on-girl kissing, it’s just the Billie and Ruth one that’s assault
Tan
Also asidely, if your major objection to accepting that something is problematic is that it potentially puts your own past self in a negative light, THAT sounds like a personal problem, and I reallly hope you don’t take that approach to real life situations.
lightsabermario
Honestly, I’ve gotta (partially) side with nothri and DarkVeghetta. Sexual assault should always be viewed with disgust and disapproval, but take a look at the comments of that “recalculating” page. They are almost entirely whooping it up and cheering. Everyone regarded it as a culmination of sexual tension, albeit violent. If you wanted to accuse that as sexual assault, you should at least be consistent and have disapproved then, regardless of Billie’s response on the next page. Because if you guys couldn’t tell at the time that it was over the line titled “sexual assault”, then maybe you shouldn’t criticize Ruth for making that mistake in those circumstances, especially when you already know Billie’s reaction and she didn’t.
DarkVeghetta
Granted, the early part of their relationship started with all of the maturity of an 8-year-old shoving a frog inside the bra of a girl they like (a particularly punchy, asshole frog that steals your stuff).
Yeah, I know that feeling. It’s really, really difficult for me to look past Ruth’s abusive actions due to my own history. Like, even just saying “I feel bad for her” kind of makes me shiver a bit.
Rutee
It’s okay to feel sympathy for people. Even those who harmed you. Even those like those who harmed you, or loved ones. Precisely nobody should suffer. Suffering evoking sympathy is fine. Even of the absolute worst people, which we’re really not dealing with.
A clitoris can get hard. It’s a lot less visually noticeable compared to a penis because most of the clitoris is internal, but it still hardens during arousal like a penis (and if you’re touching a clitoris, you can feel the difference).
So, unless there’s some other reason preventing arousal, they both can, in fact, get hard.
DarkVeghetta
I like how Dr. Smart is being schooled by Not A Doctor. What a delightfully rare moment.
*very drunken speech* Heyjagowaahn maaate? TO MATES!!”
*Goes to take a drink, is too dunk, misses face, pours booze down back*
“Ahh shnit, who the Frank pushed me…?”
electromagneticDestroyosaur
Who the eff is Frank?
Charlie Spencer
Not ‘Frank’, but ‘the Frank’, like in the Frankish people, the German tribe noted for running amok in mead halls during the early single-digit centuries.
i get it! cuz she’s canadian, she knows what boxing day is!
anyone who thinks that this is a joke, i have a calendar which on dec. 26 has ‘boxing day (c)’ meaning ‘canadian holiday’. i know that it’s also in the uk, but my calendar does not recognize that it’s in america
120 thoughts on “Sympathy”
Ana Chronistic
“you and your tryna make me keep my job and stay happy and shit, GOD”
inqntrol
“It’s like you actually care for me!”
Screwball
“…I mean, who even DOES that anymore…?”
miados
sometimes it can be hard to stay happy and want to do your job. especially to stay happy
DarkoNeko
“Girl, if you’re looking for sympathy, it’s in the dictionary”
Asper Storm
“Why the f*ck do I sleep with you?!”
Mada
d’awwwwww
JessWitt
Endless d’awwws and <3's.
Doctor_Who
Are squees appropriate, or do they lose their luster once the ship becomes canon?
Captain Button
Keeping the squees polished up nice and shiny is a critical duty of any ship’s crew.
Doctor_Who
In that case
Spencer
I really don’t get where the “aww” reactions are coming from. Ruth is tearing into Billie and then vaguely tries to make up for it.
You know how some folks here think Amber is an abusive person towards Danny? That’s kind of how Ruth and Billie come off to me (just, you know, not to the lengths of somebody like Blaine).
Rutee
“You made me do normal adult things! How dare you!? I am angry :|” is well within the normal ribbing of both friendships and relationships. Like, Ruth sometimes does say abusive shit, but this ain’t. That pause tells me she’s desperately trying to come up with something because she isn’t actually angry.
I expect this is a matter of expectations. They are dumb kids in a kinky relationship, quite possibly their first one; it’s not immediately intuitive how to behave. Further, and this bears repeating, like basically everyone else, they are dumb, and compounding this, they believe they’re just broken and not engaging in things normal people do. I kinda get why they aren’t trying to look up SnM relationships. Frankly, being dumb is about enough.
Spencer
Possibly. I’m not entirely sure whether or not they just think it’s normal to be really volatile towards each other, or if they are into it that way. And like, Ruth really doesn’t do friendly ribbing a lot, and when she does she’s usually smirking and making it clear she’s telling a joke, so maybe?
That part about how they believe they’re broken motivating their words and actions, like they kind of expect themselves to always do something wrong, is probably spot on, though. I like that idea.
Rutee
I’m pretty sure they both think the other is into it, at the very least. Whether they are ACTUALLY into it requires an internal monologue, or an extremely frank, absolutely no holds barred dialogue; the latter is a good idea in this kind of relationship and won’t happen, because they’re dumb and think they’re broken. What I meant with that isn’t that they’re sure they will slip up, incidentally; putting aside that it implies a level of reckless abandon on them both I’m not willing to impute, it’s also just not what I meant. What I mean is, they think they’re broken – therefore, what they’re doing is basically completely new ground, something normal people would never contemplate. Them being young and Dumb is sufficient to not look into something this difficult; it’s kind of a fuckup, but it happens, because young and Dumb. Them being young and Dumb /and thinking you’re fundamentally broken people who do not do what normal people do/ probably kills any chance of looking up how this is normally done. For kids stumbling about in the dark, they appear to be doing a good job, but it’s hard to know for sure without an internal monologue.
I haven’t paid for the newest slipshine (and barely remember the old one; it was what, a year ago?), but it does seem to be overwhelmingly play for them. Where either has crossed the line even a tiny bit (and having looked back on them since they started, ‘tiny bit’ is about as far as I’ll go), I’m inclined to give the benefit of doubt; partially because they’re in a shitty situation and I expect especially Ruth to occasionally lash out, but mostly because most of what Ruth’s done since they start requires her to be more manipulative than she’s ever shown herself to be. And Billie was pretty masterfully trolling her domme into bed more or less immediately (and I have a hard time empathizing with it hurting to insult a sportsball team. Especially the Leafs, I mean come on)
Stephen R. Bierce
*plays the Beatles “You Like Me Too Much” on the Muzak*
modulusshift
I love this song so much.
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Also plays the Beatles’ “She Loves You”, “Love, love me do”, and “Please please me”. xD
Historyman68
Plays the Beatles on spotify
Regalli
Oh, Ruth. *Sympathetic depression headpats*
Captain Button
Billie realizes that the most vulnerable point of the Ruthesarus Becks is her Achilles Nape.
BraRunnex
Much like the Titans in Shingeki no Kyojin?
Spencer
I still don’t get how I can sympathize so much with someone as abusive and bullying as Ruth.
It’s a testament to Willis’ abilities as a writer that Ruth is neither some horrible cartoon villain, but also not having her worst actions glossed over because she has issues and a sad backstory.
electromagneticDestroyosaur
plus he saves that role for AmberJoyceParty
Word.
DarkVeghetta
Suspicious. (Damn you Deus Ex HR!)
Spencer
I really don’t think lashing out at your partner once and then immediately regretting it is equivalent to Ruth spending the first half of the comic systematically harassing Billie, physically harming her, stealing her stuff, and then sexually assaulting her.
Historyman68
Agreed.
DarkVeghetta
I saw no sexual assault on Ruth’s part. Billie was blindsides, yes, but only because she didn’t think of the possibility at the time (had it been a guy, she’d probably have thought of the possibility). The sparks where there to see for those who could interpret them – as is fairly bog-standard at the start of a romance.
Spencer
Ruth slammed her against a wall and forcibly kissed her.
DarkVeghetta
Context. The sexual tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. It didn’t happen out of the blue – it was the culmination of many interactions.
Had that element been absent – sure, I’d agree with you – but it was there and it led to the sensual outburst. Not a mature way of handling it, but hardly criminal – merely raw and lacking any tact.
Spencer
I can’t express in words how much you are creeping me out.
nothri
Sounds like a personal problem, Spence. I agree with him, even if I think he’s explaining it badly.
Or put it another way. If you can be charged with sexual assault because you moved to kiss someone on the misguided assumption that they were interested in you and immediately backed off when they protested…well, I’m sorry guys, but awkward dumb never-dated-a-girl-before teenaged me is apparently a criminal.
Now I’m not in any way saying their relationship is 100 percent healthy, because it isn’t. But abusive? I dunno. The problem is that trash talking isn’t my kink, and yet its clearly a turn on for these two. So its kind of hard to judge whether this is a disfunctional relationship or a functional one built partly on faux antagonism. At least for me. But once again I like these two together, so I’m a biased source ever willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
thejeff
Nothri, that wasn’t “moved to kiss someone on the misguided assumption that they were interested in you and immediately backed off”, that was a “slam her against the wall and kiss her before being forcibly shoved away”.
Hard as hell to prosecute without video or something, but definitely fits the definition of sexual assault.
I like this relationship for various other reasons and I don’t think it’s currently abusive, but it surely started out that way.
Tan
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/stability/ and the following two strips. That’s not misreading signs, that’s not ‘moving in to kiss’, that is a kiss forcibly given when no reasonable person would consider one invited.
Contrast with Daisy, who got caught up in a moment and wasn’t thinking: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/likethis/
And even more distinctly contrast Becky with Joyce, who did in fact spectacularly misread signs: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/jealous/
What I’m saying is that DoA has a lot of nonreciprocal girl-on-girl kissing, it’s just the Billie and Ruth one that’s assault
Tan
Also asidely, if your major objection to accepting that something is problematic is that it potentially puts your own past self in a negative light, THAT sounds like a personal problem, and I reallly hope you don’t take that approach to real life situations.
lightsabermario
Honestly, I’ve gotta (partially) side with nothri and DarkVeghetta. Sexual assault should always be viewed with disgust and disapproval, but take a look at the comments of that “recalculating” page. They are almost entirely whooping it up and cheering. Everyone regarded it as a culmination of sexual tension, albeit violent. If you wanted to accuse that as sexual assault, you should at least be consistent and have disapproved then, regardless of Billie’s response on the next page. Because if you guys couldn’t tell at the time that it was over the line titled “sexual assault”, then maybe you shouldn’t criticize Ruth for making that mistake in those circumstances, especially when you already know Billie’s reaction and she didn’t.
DarkVeghetta
Granted, the early part of their relationship started with all of the maturity of an 8-year-old shoving a frog inside the bra of a girl they like (a particularly punchy, asshole frog that steals your stuff).
Renee J
Ruth reminds me of a childhood bully I had. It’s hard to not wish her harm.
Spencer
Yeah, I know that feeling. It’s really, really difficult for me to look past Ruth’s abusive actions due to my own history. Like, even just saying “I feel bad for her” kind of makes me shiver a bit.
Rutee
It’s okay to feel sympathy for people. Even those who harmed you. Even those like those who harmed you, or loved ones. Precisely nobody should suffer. Suffering evoking sympathy is fine. Even of the absolute worst people, which we’re really not dealing with.
Lia47
ohohO i BET shes been busting your ass ohohohoho
Doctor_Who
Making her put on clothes is less hot.
Unless it’s like kinky cosplay or something. We know they have access to a cheerleader outfit, at minimum.
modulusshift
And a couple sets of lingerie.
vlademir1
Nah. The right clothes that accentuate a person’s best physical attributes while still being work appropriate and publicly presentable is rather hot.
Mr. Random
It’s kinda hard when a friend’s going through a hard time.
Dr. Smart
but neither of them can get hard… oh wait… you meant… oh ok nevermind
Not A Doctor
A clitoris can get hard. It’s a lot less visually noticeable compared to a penis because most of the clitoris is internal, but it still hardens during arousal like a penis (and if you’re touching a clitoris, you can feel the difference).
So, unless there’s some other reason preventing arousal, they both can, in fact, get hard.
DarkVeghetta
I like how Dr. Smart is being schooled by Not A Doctor. What a delightfully rare moment.
Kraken
Don’t forget the nipples.
Uniqueantique
I’ve no clear reason why, but I do really like these two.
Airyu
because they’re adorbs and fit well together! :3
Doctor_Who
Ruth doesn’t realize that she spilled booze on the back of her shirt, and Billie is just sucking on the stain.
Captain Button
That would make Billie a hypocrite given how she reacted to Walky.
Screwball
You think it’ll be the 1st time Billie’s been hypocritical about something?
Bicycle Bill
Howinthehell does one spill booze on the *BACK* of their shirt?
Catullus
I don’t know, but if past habits are any indication then Billie and Ruth are the likeliest to figure it out.
Doctor_Who
Quaffing mishap. Happens all the time in mead halls.
Screwball
*very drunken speech* Heyjagowaahn maaate? TO MATES!!”
*Goes to take a drink, is too dunk, misses face, pours booze down back*
“Ahh shnit, who the Frank pushed me…?”
electromagneticDestroyosaur
Who the eff is Frank?
Charlie Spencer
Not ‘Frank’, but ‘the Frank’, like in the Frankish people, the German tribe noted for running amok in mead halls during the early single-digit centuries.
Abel Undercity
Push the button, Frank.
Wizard
“And that was when I developed a drinking problem.”
tim gueguen
Is Billie asleep?
DarkoNeko
…yes. Yes she is.
newllend(henryvolt)
Ruth is reacting the same way I always do when I’m faced with a situation like this.
miados
sometimes actually being there is better than knowing what to say
gkheyf
i get it! cuz she’s canadian, she knows what boxing day is!
anyone who thinks that this is a joke, i have a calendar which on dec. 26 has ‘boxing day (c)’ meaning ‘canadian holiday’. i know that it’s also in the uk, but my calendar does not recognize that it’s in america
Captain Button
In America, every day is boxing day!
DarkoNeko
“who need boxing when you have guns ?”
Tacos